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Carpe Diem: Oh So Guilty (Oh So Loved) by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-04-24
Following an injury during a Montreal–Boston game in 2016, Ilya Rozanov remembers Shane Hollander, and forgets him. For a moment, he does not remember being loved.
So perhaps, it is time that Shane reminds himself, after a decade, to chase his future at a break-neck pace, because Shane is tired of feeling guilty, tired of hiding from the person he never truly wants to hide from.
It won't be so easy, of course, and maybe the path will take them two steps forward and one step back, but they will walk arm in arm, hand in hand, toward their forever.
or
ilya is injured in a game, and it is all the motivation shane will ever need to seize the day.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,143
- Chapters:
- 7/?
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76980801
-
Shane Hollander's PDA Agenda by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-03-17
It happens in an instant.
Over Ilya’s shoulder, Shane sees the doctor and Wiebe give each other a look, and in a sudden bout of impatient anxiety, Shane ends up saying the words that come to ruin everything.
“Don’t touch me.”
The effect is instantaneous. Ilya’s hands fly to his sides, and Shane gets a front row seat as Ilya’s heart breaks before his very eyes. Eyes dimming and lips trembling in slow, painful technicolor.
It causes Shane’s heart to break, too, and he vows, immediately, never to see such a look cross his husband’s face again.
OR Shane embarks on a mission to heal his husband’s heart, one PDA at a time.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,658
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #78297091
-
Shane gets accidentally drunk and tells Hayden that he loves Ilya. Cue mental breakdowns and Hayden losing his mind at seeing Ilya Rozanov be soft and loving with his best friend. Hayden had always known that his best friend was uptight, even before they had become friends. He knew Shane had a lot of rules and a strict timetable that he never wavered from. It had not deterred Hayden from pursuing a friendship with Shane, though. He found Shane's presence comforting, he didn't have to put on any act in front of Shane, didn't have to be on all the time. In the deepest corners of his brain, he admitted to himself that Shane was the only person on the team that he wanted to hang out with outside of hockey commitments. Shane had become his best friend, his little brother very quickly, worming his way into Hayden's heart effortlessly. In the years that they had been friends, Hayden had never once seen Shane drunk or high. During the season, Shane didn't drink at all and in the off-season, he never let himself drink more than one glass of wine. Shane had told him that he had only had hard liqueur once and hadn't liked the taste of it. Which is why he was surprised when he walked into J.J.'s house to find Shane on the couch with some of the rookies, giggling his ass off with a bottle of half empty vodka cruiser in his hand. Shane gasped when he saw Hayden, bouncing off the couch and towards him. "Hayd! You're here!" Shane exclaimed, an uncharacteristic wide grin on his face. "Hey buddy, whatcha drinking there?" Hayden asked, lips curling up in amusement. "Oh, you have got to try this! It is so yummy, it's fruit juice!" Shane grinned, shoving the bottle towards Hayden clumsily. Hayden's eyebrows raised up to his hairline and he said, "Uh, that's not fruit juice, Shane. That has vodka." "No way," Shane gasped, bringing the bottle closer to his face and squinting at the wrapping. "Lemme check," Shane mumbled and took another long swig from the bottle. "Okaaayy," Hayden sighed and pulled the bottle away from Shane's mouth. "Think that's enough, you're super drunk." "Oh no, I'm drunk?" Shane asked, eyes widening as he poked himself on the cheek. He suddenly grabbed Hayden's arms and shook, babbling, "No, no, no, am I drunk? Hayd, am I drunk? I can't believe I drank during the season. Oh no! We have a game day after tomorrow! No, no, I'm gonna die. I won't - we're gonna lose and Ilya is gonna be there and he's going to be so disappointed. Fuck, no, I can't be drunk. No alcohol during hockey. God, I'm so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid -," "Shane, buddy, breathe," Hayden interrupted, then frowned and confusedly whispered 'Ilya' under his breath. "Look, I'm gonna get you some water and drop you home and you are going straight to bed -," Hayden was cut off by the ringing of Shane's phone. "Lily!" Shane beamed at his phone, swiping on the incoming call and bringing the phone up to his ear. "Heyyy, Lily. Miss you. Where are you? Come to J.J.'s house, 'm having so much fun! We can have so much fun together!" Hayden couldn't hear what Lily said but Shane giggled and replied, "No, silly, I'm not concussed. Hayden said I'm drunk, suuuuper drunk. I drunk vodka. No, 's supposed to be drink? Drunked? Drank?" "Shane, maybe you shouldn't talk to anyone right now," Hayden said, reaching for Shane's phone. "No, he's mine," Shane pouted, cradling his phone protectively with both hands. "My baby." Lily must have said something because Shane suddenly smiled brightly, Hayden had never seen him look so happy before. "Really?" Shane's eyes had gone glassy and Hayden was seriously debating forcefully wrestling Shane into his car to drive him home if necessary. Hayden scowled when J.J. suddenly stumbled over to them, wrapping an arm around Shane's shoulders. "Why the fuck did you give him alcohol, man?" "Relax, dude. This is only, like, his second or third bottle," J.J. shrugged. "Yeah, relax, dude," Shane huffed at him before going back to listen to what Lily was saying to him. "Come on, Comeau is setting up beer pong!" J.J. exclaimed, looking drunker than Shane. He then squinted at Shane's phone and asked, "Who're you talking to anyways?" "The love of my life," Shane sighed dopily. He giggled again, in response to Lily, Hayden assumed, and said, "Talkin' 'bout you, silly-billy." Hayden removed J.J.'s arm from Shane and declared, "I'm driving him home now, he's had enough." "Noooo, I don't wanna go!" Shane whined, tapering off as he focused on what Lily was saying. His face drew into a pout the longer he listened to Lily and a minute later, he grumbled, "Fine, I'll let Hayden drive me home. 's no fair, though." "Oh, thank god," Hayden groaned, head tipping back in relief. "'k, love you," Shane muttered into the phone, dejectedly shoving it into his pocket after. "I just love him so much," Shane sighed and Hayden noticed his head lolling towards him from the corner of his eye. Hayden asked, distracted as he focused on the busy road, "You love who, buddy?" "Lily," Shane breathed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,313
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #78413366
-
Ilya allows himself to bask in this new, peaceful reality they are building for themselves, where they can exist in between breaths, where their hearbeats synchronize and do the talking instead of fast hands and impatient bodies, desperate for connection and release. This could be Ilya’s safe haven, if he let it. The one place where the storm finally quiets down. The thought terrifies him as much as it ends something deep and raw inside of him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,391
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77093981