21 – 23 of 23 Works in Dissociation

  • Dissociation ×

  1. you know this moment, don’t you? (time is strangely calm now) by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • ?
    • ✓

    2025-12-25

    It’s dark, and Ilya’s not quite sure where he is. His entire body is numb. His shoes are soaking wet from trudging lazily through the snow. His nose is running, and his lips are chapped. Selfishly, he wishes Shane would fuss over him now. Pull him close, whisper “I forgive you” even though he shouldn’t, because Ilya would never change, because something inside him- in his family line, in his soul- was broken. Ilya wondered how long ago it had clicked- when Shane had realized that Ilya wormed his way into this country and tricked the Hollanders into caring for him, then returned the favor by botching their language and leaving a trail of mess in his wake. He still can't help but wonder if that will be part of his punishment- being doomed to miss him in death, too. or: Ilya’s mostly been able to cope with the fact that he’ll never be able to articulate himself fully in this country- but he’s also never been good at talking about feelings in the first place. "I'm tired" is the best he's got. It definitely doesn't capture what's going on in his head, and Shane can't read minds.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,440
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    3 versions
    AO3:
    #76389551

  2. give it a hand, offer it a soul by

    Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • T
    • ✓

    2025-12-23

    Shane disappears down the far tunnel on a stretcher surrounded by paramedics and Metros' first aid people. Ilya watches till every last one of them is out of sight, utterly helpless, swaying like a puppet with his strings just cut.

    He watches as the end gate closes.

    There are still another fifty-nine minutes and thirty-five seconds left in the game.

     

    Or: The moments between the hit and Ilya arriving at the hospital.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,956
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #76255576

  3. i'll miss them (but i'm not sorry) by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • ?
    • ✓

    2025-12-16

    Ilya Rozanov didn’t want to die. He would have to feel alive to want the alternative. What he was doing wasn’t living, it was surviving. He was surviving the same day on repeat like an extra cruel version of Groundhog Day. He knew it was getting bad. He knew the thoughts he tried so hard to bury were only getting louder. And there was nothing he could do to stop it. or; Ilya’s depression was getting worse, but luckily, he’s not as alone as he feels.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,081
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #75761771
  1. ← Previous
  2. 1
  3. 2