1 – 3 of 3 Works in Cute Shane Hollander
- Cute Shane Hollander ×
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“Shane,” he says, dread filling his stomach, “is this Boston Lily’s house?”
“Maybe,” Shane says, dropping down another cooler with a loud bang. “But shhhhh,” he says, putting a finger to his lips, “you can’t tell, okay?”
“Shane,” Hayden says, a little desperately. “Shane, we have to go.”
“No,” Shane says, drunk and stubborn and pushing the doorbell about fifty thousand times in quick succession until Hayden pulls his arm away.
“Shane,” Hayden says, nearly a plea, “listen, I know she broke your heart, but dropping off two hundred pounds of tuna isn’t-”
Before he can finish telling Shane that a drive-by tuna fishing isn’t a cure for a broken heart, the door opens. When it does, though, it’s not some buxom Boston beauty in a silky negligee.
It’s Ilya fucking Rozanov.
Hayden’s one consolation in this mindfuck is that at least Rozanov looks equally surprised at finding himself in this situation.
(while drowning his sorrows post tuna meltdown, shane ends up in possession of approximately two hundred pounds of raw tuna) (naturally, there's only one person he wants to gift with such a bounty)
- Language:
- English
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- AO3:
- #93615301
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“Ah.”
“‘Ah’,” Ilya repeats, giving him a look before he looks back to the tidily stacked frozen mouse packages in the freezer and makes a face as a little badly-hidden shudder moves through him. “Why the fuck do you have mice in your freezer, Shane? You are doing serial killer shit now? This is why you have cottage in the middle of nowhere? For serial killer things?”
“It’s for Spaghetti,” Shane says.
Ilya gives him an absolutely horrified look at that and turns a little green, which makes him remember that Spaghetti isn’t just his snake's name.
“Not food!” He rushes to explain. “Not food spaghetti! Snake Spaghetti!”
“What the fuck are you even saying right now,” Ilya says, looking honestly a little concerned that Shane might have something going wrong in his head.
(Distancing himself from almost twenty years of owning a snake, Shane can indeed see why this situation might be a little alarming for someone on the outside looking in.)
(It also clues him in to the fact that maybe it’s not just Spaghetti who should have gotten a little adjustment period.)
(in which i give shane allergies AND a snake)
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- English
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- AO3:
- #88695836
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Harris, who was sitting next to Shane, nudged him with his foot. “Yeah, I mean, it’s not kinky kinky unless Shane went out and bought, like, a full-on sex swing or something crazy like–” Harris stopped talking because Shane had frozen. Completely frozen. His glass halted halfway to his lips. His eyes went wide and fixed on a point on the far wall. The blush that had been a soft pink bloomed into a scarlet tide that crept from his neckline to the roots of his hair. Ilya, watching him, threw his head back and burst out laughing. (or, 5 times Ottawa Centaurs found out their sweet Canadian cinnamonroll is a freak and 1 time they realized that Hollanov's freaks are matched)
- Part 10 of Crashing out over Hollanov
- Language:
- English
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- 5,421
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- #80574526