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  1. “It’s okay. I don’t need anything.” “I am not going to eat in front of you while you have nothing, Hollander,” Ilya scoffs. He plucks a can of cold ginger ale from the top shelf as casually as he can manage and slides it over the island, interrupting Hollander’s fidgeting thumbs. “You must be hungry, yes? It’s been hours since you left hotel. I can make something. Easy.” “Make… what?” he asks warily. Ilya rolls his eyes and tosses a look over his shoulder. “Do not worry. I will find something that works for your special hockey diet,” he teases. He reaches back into the fridge. “Tuna melt okay?” “No,” Hollander says primly. “And it’s a disease. Not a diet.” He pulls his hands out of the cold and turns, blinks. “What?”

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    AO3:
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  2. A little rattled by Rozanov's sudden coldness after the olympics, Shane decides to follow a gut feeling that something might be wrong, even if it's not really any of his business. Even if they don't do that. Don't care. He does find Ilya, eventually. But Sasha gets to him first.

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    AO3:
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  3. In late 2012 when Shane has a meltdown and frantically tells them to call Lily, for the first time Yuna’s ever witnessed, Shane is coaxed out of one of them instead of just suffering through until the exhaustion wins out instead—and all by some mysterious, apparently very well attuned to Shane, 'Lily'. She hadn’t meant to see the number before she’d pressed it and fumbled the phone up to Shane’s ear. It was simply a byproduct of the situation, something Shane had asked for her to do. …Memorizing it and then texting that number to thank Lily for their help was not something she’d been asked to do. But she worries so much about Shane, and Lily is a reassurance. Not a pry for details but the simple, verifiable confirmation: he’s okay. Lily, on the other hand, very much enjoys being able to make oddly specific 'your mother' jokes to Shane much more often now. (And maybe the whole family piece of it, too.)

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  4. So he’s there in the hotel room, and Ilya Rozanov has him pushed up against the door, and he’s saying all sorts of filthy things that should send Shane running and instead very much make him want to drop to his knees, which is also a relatively new feeling—and he won’t quit grabbing Shane’s face. It's the first time Shane realizes it’s going to be something that irreparably alters him for anyone else. It feels like a betrayal, somehow, that this is happening on home soil.

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  5. Pike calls Lily after Shane's concussion, full of restless panic and a complicated sense of responsibility at being the only one who knows about their relationship. Ilya Rozanov picks up instead.

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    AO3:
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  6. When his absence and abrupt reappearance causes Shane to drop during the NHL awards, Ilya realizes he has more power over Shane than he thought he did.

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    At the 2014 MLH Awards, an emergency lockdown traps them together after Ilya follows Shane into the bathroom. Ilya thinks about survival, guilt, and family.It's all grief, really. Even the wanting. Always has been.
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    AO3:
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    He is twelve and clutching at her shoulders again, sixteen and letting her hold ice against his cheek, twenty-one and sinking into her like an exhale, barely twenty-four when Svetlana looks over at him and thinkssomething’s different now. You look happy. You look like you could be happy.Ilya is twenty-six in her kitchen and holding onto the love of his life, and Svetlana can breathe again without worrying that he will stop.
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    AO3:
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