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1. i know my darkness will never go away by probsnothawkeye

   Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)

   • T
   • ✓

   2026-01-16

   Mark read
   • Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
   • Angst with a Hopeful Ending
   • Heavy Angst
   • Self-Harm
   • in the past tense but it's discussed
   • Depression
   • ilya rozanov is canonically depressed and i'm projecting
   • Post-Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers)
   • not really spoilery if you've only seen the tv show
   • shane hollander is autistic
   • it's only briefly peppered in
   • But he is
   • love doesn't fix everything but it can help

   It's hard when you're living / and you don't feel much / and you're down and you're hoping / that things are gonna change Apathy wasn’t quite the word for it; it was something much deeper than apathy was. It was like a numbness, like a void had taken root in Ilya’s heart and swallowed him whole. He wasn’t even moving on autopilot– no, he was incredibly aware of his every movement, every decision, every thought. It was inertia, pure and simple, that kept Ilya moving. There was no outside force to stop his motion, not when his brain was this empty, so he simply kept gliding along, wondering when the feeling would come back. If the feeling would come back.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   1,554

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Files:

   1

   AO3:

   #77757766