1 – 3 of 3 Works in hayden is a centaur

  • hayden is a centaur ×
  1. The knee-jerk response, obviously, is a big, fat no fucking way.

    “Dude, c’mon,” Hayden says, slapping his arm. “It’s a rite of passage. You can’t break tradition or you’ll risk a bloodline curse.”

    Shane goggles at his best friend. “You think that I, as a gay, Asian, autistic man, have concerns about following antiquated rites of passage? Or bloodline curses?”

    “I think that you, as someone who has had the same warm-up routine and pregame rituals since they could sing their ABCs, would understand the value in following the rules.”

    —

    Ilya, obviously, says yes. He only lets the WAGs ask first because it’s proper etiquette and he would never do anything to disrespect his posse.

     

    Or, before their wedding, the boys are morally and legally obligated to allow their friends to throw them a bachelor and bachelorette party, which are very different in nature but equally chaotic

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,955
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #79461201
  2. “What’s wrong with the table runner we have now? We like that one. We picked it out together at Pottery Barn.”

    Ilya stops his fussing to smile at Shane. They’ve been living together for two months now, but he still melts every time Shane says words like ‘together’ and ‘we’ and ‘us.’ It makes Shane want to throw him down on the table and eat him alive.

    “Nothing is wrong with it. I love it, because we picked it out together.”

    “Okay… so what’s the deal with finding the table runner my mom got us?”

    “That one matches the flowers I bought, and the new blankets on the couch. We cannot have these people thinking we live like divorced fathers.”

    “Ilya, no one would ever think that. We’re one of the only couples without a toy pile stashed in the corner of the living room. And we keep this house in top shape, because you know I’ll lose my shit if we don’t.”

    “I know that, but they don’t know that! What other conclusion will they come to if our dining room does not match the flow of the rest of the downstairs?”

    Or, Ilya's dream of being Shane Hollander's proud WAG comes to fruition

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,647
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #78620946
  3. “I’m sorry, but my answer is no. Someone else might be willing to switch if you ask.”

    “I can’t believe—this is unacceptable! I’m going to call the flight attendant over and get this sorted out right now!”

    Flustered and cornered, Shane injects his Captain Voice into the conversation. “Ma’am, I understand that you’re upset, but I paid for this seat and am going to stay here. You’ll have to find someone else willing to change places or just fly with the seat you booked. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.”

    She hisses like a goddamn tea kettle, and starts to say, “You are the most selfish man I’ve ever—” when another voice behind her says, “You are blocking my seat. Move.”

    Shane and the woman turn to assess the new arrival. It turns out that his seat partner is well above six feet tall, ripped as hell, and knows how to deliver an excellent bitch face. He’s also the hottest man that Shane has ever seen in real life, including a chance run-in with Jensen Ackles at a Stars game.

    Or, still!famous Shane meets non!famous Ilya on a cursed flight from Ottawa to Boston and kind of (totally) falls in love with him at first sight (and first chirp)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,624
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #77651971