Summary:

“What’s wrong with the table runner we have now? We like that one. We picked it out together at Pottery Barn.”

Ilya stops his fussing to smile at Shane. They’ve been living together for two months now, but he still melts every time Shane says words like ‘together’ and ‘we’ and ‘us.’ It makes Shane want to throw him down on the table and eat him alive.

“Nothing is wrong with it. I love it, because we picked it out together.”

“Okay… so what’s the deal with finding the table runner my mom got us?”

“That one matches the flowers I bought, and the new blankets on the couch. We cannot have these people thinking we live like divorced fathers.”

“Ilya, no one would ever think that. We’re one of the only couples without a toy pile stashed in the corner of the living room. And we keep this house in top shape, because you know I’ll lose my shit if we don’t.”

“I know that, but they don’t know that! What other conclusion will they come to if our dining room does not match the flow of the rest of the downstairs?”

Or, Ilya's dream of being Shane Hollander's proud WAG comes to fruition