Summary:

Caitlin
ok this IS earth shattering news

Caitlin
the concept of the worst team in the league getting ilya rozanov because some random girl managed to lock down “russia’s greatest love machine” and have him so whipped that he moves to OTTAWA??

Caitlin
like who the fuck is this girl?????

Cassie
Literally all I know is that her name is Jane

Caitlin
who the fuck are you jane!!!!!!

(the ottawa wag chat finds out about jane. cue them finding out little bits of jane lore until some things add up)