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  • The conversation about marriage for citizenship takes a worse turn ×
  1. I could marry Svetlana. A noise built in his head. A steady, growing sound—and the more he thought about what had just happened, the harder it became to hear anything else. Another rush of noise pulsed behind his eyes. He twisted the tap to icy cold and splashed his face—the same water he’d praised not long ago, feeling sheepish and suddenly not knowing what to say. But they didn’t need words anymore. He’d thought so. His head felt ready to burst. He cupped a handful of water and poured it over his neck, gasping involuntarily. He stood there wet and shaking, water soaking through his shirt. He hated it. He hated how sticky it felt, how it clung to his burning skin—hated it as much as he’d hated that godawful ad shoot where they kept pouring water over him and touching him — “Shane?” Ilya’s voice cut through the noise, both in his head and through the bathroom door. Leave me alone. “Shane, are you okay?” Please leave me alone. Please do it now so it doesn’t hurt later.

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