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• two narrators so unreliable you can't even trust their own thoughts about their own emotions ×

1. oh well, I guess we're gonna find out! by Anonymous

   Heated Rivalry (TV)

   • M
   • ?
   • ✓

   2026-05-10

   Mark read
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
   • Shane Hollander
   • Ilya Rozanov
   • Yuna Hollander
   • David Hollander
   • Zombie Apocalypse
   • Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
   • Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse
   • speedrunning the fuckbuddy situation at the end of the world
   • set after the 'we didn't even kiss' unsent text because that seemed like the worst possible time for them to be stuck together lmao
   • shane hollander you will never know how close you were to getting jaime lannistered in this fic
   • you know in zombie movies how the people are always the real villains?
   • it's mostly not true in this
   • but the real villain is shane's obsession with hockey
   • or the institution of professional hockey
   • but i somehow treat it gently anyway because im weak (and also like hockey)
   • misuse of russian petnames
   • alternating povs
   • two narrators so unreliable you can't even trust their own thoughts about their own emotions
   • and you certainly can't trust them with each others
   • also should be mentioned
   • Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts
   • ilya is passively suicidal due to you know the horrors
   • and then actively suicidal very briefly because of some other horrors
   • Toxic codependence
   • But do I try to fix them? No
   • i only make one (1) provincetown joke in this whole 95k fic
   • as a queer masshole I think i deserve a prize for that
   • very minor amputation kink moment
   • nothing is actually amputated but that doesnt stop them from kinking about it
   • i cannot overstate how toxically codependent they become in this
   • somewhere there is a version of this story where i was brave enough to jaime lannister shane for his own good
   • but unfortunately i am a coward and it is not this version lmao
   • shane can keep a little obsession with being the best at hockey as a treat
   • okay after MANY comments about it I need to clarify:
   • Angst with a Happy Ending

   Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again.

   Except, well. Then there are zombies.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   95,670

   Chapters:

   3/3

   Files:

   1

   AO3:

   #84542866