Summary:

The problem was that everyone who played for Boston, except for Ilya, was like a million years old and had forgotten what fun was, if they’d ever known. They were all, like, married with kids and their idea of a good time was a barbecue where they drank a few flat weak-ass beers and or went golfing. Ilya just wanted to have fun, okay? He just wanted to live.

or

Ilya gets traded to Montreal. Everything goes better than expected.