Summary:

Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): i keep thinking this is some sort of insane dream
Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): but no. we got SHANE HOLLANDER.
Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): because of HOMOPHOBIA!
Sherlock Holmes (Carter Holmberg): rare homophobia win
Shane Hollander: Well let’s not go that far.
El Capitan (Ilya Rozanov): holmberg please refrain from being pro homophobia in the group chat or shane will report you to management

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Or: Shane's first season on the Ottawa Centaurs, as told through a number of increasingly unhinged texts