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At some point, Shane crawls into bed, feeling raw and open like a wound. He horrifyingly wishes more than anything that Ilya were there. That thought is shocking enough that it snaps something inside, and Shane decides that he absolutely, 100% does not have time to deal with what happened tonight. He puts the entire thing — the rough hands, the tongue on his ear, the gravelly voice telling him to take it — into a box in his mind. And buries the box as deep as he can. *** Or, a different take on Shane's experience with the "big, strong top" from Mexico
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,620
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77229996
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What I imagine their first time without a condom was like. Because we've all thought about it. September 2018 The first time Shane and Ilya have sex without a condom is in Ottawa at Ilya’s new home. They both are about to report for the start of the new season, so Shane came to spend the last few days helping Ilya set up his new home. That night Shane’s parents came over for dinner, and Yuna fussed about what Ilya still needed, and David brought him a case of Coca Cola as a new home present. Everything felt nice and new and in a bubble still, like the cottage had followed them here. Ilya knew that would all change once the season started. It was strange because, in many ways, he had Shane for years at this point. But it felt like now he finally, really had him. And it was already time to let him go for a while. He didn’t realize he was grinding his molars until Shane was pressing up against him. “What are you thinking?” Ilya sighed heavily, sinking back into the couch and pulling Shane closer. “That for the first time in my life I do not want the season to start.” “Oh,” Shane looks slightly startled for a moment before he starts to get that anxious look that is somewhat endearing. “Is it because—well, do you regret coming to Ottawa?” Ilya’s confused for a moment before he realizes what Shane is asking: if he regrets signing with Ottawa to be closer; if he regrets them. Which is the most ridiculous thing he could think. “Is not that,” he traces a finger over Shane’s cheek, the smooth skin, the freckles that have been plaguing his dreams for a long time. “Is just…it was easier before to not see you in- between the times we were together because you were not really mine.” Shane’s features soften, and he lets out a shaky sigh of relief. “Now, will be harder I think.” Shane nods, turning his head to press a kiss to Ily’s open palm. “I think I’ve been yours for a long time now,” Shane admits quietly. In some ways, it’s a deeper admission than the first “I love you” they shared at the cabin. “And I want to um,” Shane cleared his throat nervously, cheeks flushing and eyes flitting down. “I want to really be yours.” Ilya tilted his face back up so that they could look at each other. “You are mine, Hollander.” He couldn’t wait any longer and pulled Shane more firmly into his lap, until the shorter man was straddling his thighs. Using the firm grip on his cheek, Ilya pulled him for a searing kiss. It was competitive but also intense and heated in a way that nearly took his breath away. He felt Shane moan, grinding his erection into Ilya’s stomach. He let his hands travel down Shane’s neck, the strong muscles of his back, until gripping his firm ass. Shane breathlessly breaks the kiss and blurts out, “I want you to fuck me without a condom.” Ilya freezes and a strange feeling swells inside him. He didn’t know it was possible to want Shane more than he already did. He isn’t sure his body can handle the surge of desire that washes over him—Shane’s request, cheeks pink with the admission, hips still slightly rocking against Ilya like he just can’t help it. “You want me to fuck you without a condom,” he repeats back and grips Shane’s ass a little tighter. Shane takes a deep breath, gnawing slightly on his lip before admitting, “I want you to come inside me.” They had vaguely talked about this, and after agreeing at the cabin to give this thing between them a shot, they both went and got tested once they were home. But it hadn’t been brought up again, and honestly, Ilya didn’t want to push it. He felt like the luckiest person in the world to be able to fuck Shane Hollander, to see him at his most vulnerable, to be the one Shane trusted with that. He hadn’t fucked anyone without a condom since he was 16. For many years, he told himself it was because he didn’t want to risk a baby, but he can admit now that it probably was also because Shane was in the back of his mind. That he knew he could never put him at risk. Ilya’s been silent for a few moments, long enough for Shane to start to look nervous again. “We don’t have to,” he says quickly. “If you don’t want to—” Quickly, Ilya stands up, gripping Shane by the thighs, who lets out a yelp as he’s jostled in the air. “Ilya! Put me down.” With a smirk, Ilya makes his way to the bedroom. “Is fine. You weigh nothing.” That wasn’t true, but Ilya tries his hardest not to show the strain of carrying his boyfriend. “Besides, you love it.” Shane rolls his eyes but doesn’t deny it. In the bedroom, he deposits Shane on the bed before leaning over to capture his lips in a filthy kiss. Shane groans into his mouth, bracketing Ily’s hips with his knees, and grinding against him. Ilya puts his hands firmly on Shane’s hips, pinning him to the bed. “Go slow, or are you that eager to have me inside you?” “Fuck you.” “No, fuck you,” he trails his lips down the column of Shane’s neck. “Fuck you bare.” Shane gasps, arching up into him. “Yes, please.” He can’t stop touching Shane or kissing him as they undress, but Ilya keeps the pace purposefully slow. Partly because it drives Shane crazy and partly because he can. He can take his time with Shane Hollander.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,685
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #66006481