Summary:

Normally he would never. Normally he keeps this tight, locked behind his ribs, measured and careful and quiet. Normally every thought about Ilya gets sorted before it ever reaches his mouth. He makes sure nothing sounds like too much. But the medication has loosened something he usually keeps wound tight. It has softened the reflex that tells him to stop, to swallow words back down before they can do damage. His thoughts drift instead of snapping into line, and his feelings rise up faster than he can push them away. Once the words start, they do not want to stop. They feel good coming out, like easing pressure he did not realize was building. — hospital scene where high shane spills his feelings about ilya :)