Summary:

Shane thinks about Ilya; thinks about the glorious gasping surprise of Shane and considers that he has made an absolutely fucking massive mistake somewhere along his way here but he has no idea what it was. Behind his eyelids he thinks about his own name choked out like a confession and thinks about the Ilya that seemed to come so naturally, and wishes desperately that he'd done something differently. Something, almost anything, but he doesn't know what, can't pin the thought down. He has no idea what he's wishing for except for different.

As it turns out, once they're in motion there's nothing that can keep his eyes open, and he sleeps.

There's a dream that feels like turning inside out, like stretching and rebounding, like a path cleared and his is the first skate that touches the ice after the Zamboni leaves it, and he wakes —

He wakes.

Head thick and foggy until he shakes it and it clears, but he wakes —

— and they're back at the hotel.