Summary:

Sveta
Help me
I am in love with a virgin

Ilya was exaggerating for comic effect, of course. He wasn’t in love with Shane Hollander. He was just absolutely infatuated with him and wanted to carry him around in his pocket and also fuck him senseless and then count his freckles while he slept beside him. So not love, just whatever that was, but still. It was a problem.

Or,
A newly-drafted Ilya Rozanov finds himself transfixed by a beautiful man in the grocery store.

A newly-single Shane Hollander does something uncharacteristically brave.

Neither of them are prepared for just how out of their depth they're about to be.