Summary:

Apparently so many of the man-babies in their sport have fucked people with crabs and/or chlamydia that the League has decided that it is necessary for them to all get an hour-long briefing on being a least a little discerning about what hole you stick your cock in. As someone who does not have crabs and/or chlamydia, it is deeply funny to Ilya, made even funnier by the fact that people keep glancing over at him like they think he's the reason for this briefing.

He'll have to be extra slow the next time he showers, so everyone can confirm in person that he is not diseased.