Summary:

It’s December 2018, and you are a long-suffering Ottawa Centaurs fan. [...] There’s a new post from the Centaurs: a carousel post, one of those ones that are kind of like slides, background in Cens red and images set into them. The first one has a professional headshot of Rozanov in the Cens home jersey, sporting the C. His season stats are in the bottom left corner.

The text reads: Here’s what you need to know about your new Captain, Ottawa

Yeah yeah, you think. One Cup, one MVP, and a couple of Rocket Trophies to his name. Hot. Kind of a pest on the ice. Arrogant. Good at hockey.

You swipe to the next image. Black background, and an image of Rozanov shoving some player from Edmonton back, getting between him and the Cens goalie.

He Protecc

Wow, you think. The Cens social media guy is a nerd.