Summary:

It’s not Ilya’s fault that Pork gets out.

Okay, well, maybe a little bit. But it is almost equally Shane’s fault.

The facts are thus: Ilya’s home nursing an injury, and Shane’s on a roadie, and maybe he and Shane have managed to get a little codependent after just one season playing together.

And so, while Ilya was making lunch, he got distracted by his very pretty husband facetiming him from the hotel shower. And perhaps the water evaporated and the noodles caught fire a bit.

And in the chaos of smoke and fire extinguishers and flinging open every window and door in the house – Well. Pork’s always been a bit of an escape artist.

 

Or: Shane’s horrible hairless cat gets out and Ilya has to hunt down his least favourite child.