Summary:

He was alone because Ilya had left because Ilya always had to leave. [...] He felt horrible. Ilya had left. Maybe Shane hadn’t been good enough? No, he would’ve left anyway. He always left.

But maybe he would’ve stayed a little longer if Shane had been better? Maybe if he’d been better, used more of those tricks he’d been trying to learn, he wouldn’t have left so soon. Maybe he would’ve wanted to stay like Shane wanted him to stay. Would’ve wanted to hold him like Shane wanted to ask him to do. Maybe Shane wouldn’t be trapped in this cavernous space between worlds, feeling like he was free-falling, searching for the path out of this emptiness.

OR

Shane experiences sub-drop for the first time. Ilya holds him through it.