Preface
Ilya Rozanov Breaks the Internet
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/77676421.
- Rating:
- Teen And Up Audiences
- Archive Warning:
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Category:
- M/M
- Fandoms:
- Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
- Relationship:
- Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
- Characters:
- Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander
- Additional Tags:
- Social Media, Post-Canon, Post-Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), POV Outsider, Twitter, Instagram, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Canon-Typical Homophobia, Canon-Typical Violence, which is all off-screen, Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov Deserves Nice Things
- Language:
- English
- Series:
- Part 2 of Breaking The Internet
- Stats:
- Published: 2026-01-14 Updated: 2026-06-30 Words: 29,123 Chapters: 16/?
Ilya Rozanov Breaks the Internet
Summary
centaurs ✅
[picture] The middle of the Ottawa-Buffalo game. In front of a net, Ilya Rozanov is on one knee on the ice, flanked by two Buffalo players, stick outstretched toward Shane Hollander who has the puck on his stick.
CENS WIN
OTT 5 FINAL 1 BUF
[video, 15 seconds]
The post-game press line, Ilya Rozanov sweaty and shirtless, a mic held in front of his face.
ESPN reporter: Ilya, what an amazing assist in the second period power play. You were literally swiveling on one knee avoiding two defensemen, and sliding the puck to Hollander to score.
Rozanov (grinning): Well, sometimes you have to go down on one knee for your man, you know.
[Caption] Married life #Cens style: scoring goals with your husband!
Or: During Shane's first season in Ottawa, Ilya keeps breaking the internet with his interviews and shenanigans. The internet, predictably, keeps losing its shit.
Notes
It feels almost like a rite of passage to write a social media au in this fandom, and we couldn’t resist. We had such a blast coming up with all the little things Ilya would do to break the internet, we hope you’ll enjoy the ride! We’re hoping to post a chapter a week, covering an entire season. And maybe beyond?
Many, many thanks to Kat for hockey-betaing this fic <3
Chapter 1
Chapter Summary
Ilya Rozanov breaks the internet with his post-game interview.
centaurs ✅
[picture]
The middle of the Ottawa-Buffalo game. In front of a net, Ilya Rozanov is on one knee on the ice, flanked by two Buffalo players, stick outstretched toward Shane Hollander who has the puck on his stick.
CENS WIN
OTT 5 FINAL 1 BUF
[video, 15 seconds]
The post-game press line, Ilya Rozanov sweaty and shirtless, a mic held in front of his face.
ESPN reporter: Ilya, what an amazing assist in the second period power play. You were literally swiveling on one knee avoiding two defensemen, and sliding the puck to Hollander to score.
Rozanov (grinning): Well, sometimes you have to go down on one knee for your man, you know.
[Caption] Married life #Cens style: scoring goals with your husband!
hr_supremacy Assist and goal of the game, for sure!
joleeeen those are my fathers
ottawa_for_life Winning against Buffalo again, I can finally hold my head up high at work
anna81rozanov Omg does this mean Ilya proposed???
|
fay_in_my_hollanov_era wake up new #hollanov lore dropped
|
anna81rozanov like this has to be a callback, right???
|
fay_in_my_hollanov_era for sure!
|
freckleappreciation Knowing Shane he probably thought this was more romantic than the actual proposal lol
mildred_shanestiddies i too would go down on my knees for shane hollander
pony_raiders_love See, this is why I can’t help stan this man, simply the best player out there
|
censenthusiast I mean it’s a tie
|
raiders_JD He’s a fucking traitor is what he is
|
olly.is.waitingforanothercup Look I hate him too but the man moved for love, gotta respect that
|
raiders_ JD No that man is dead to me
|
pony_raiders_love Lol chill man
mai.first.husbands.of.hockey another one for the being gay makes you better at hockey agenda
|
k.hollanova not everyone is gay #bierasure
|
mai.first.husbands.of.hockey you’re so right, sorry I should have said being queer makes you better at hockey agenda
81mebaby
i wanna get on my knees for Ilya any day #respectfully
Chapter 2
Chapter Summary
Ilya Rozanov breaks the internet with his rookie trash talk.
MLH on ESPN ✅@espnmlh
After 4-1 win against New Jersey, Ilya Rozanov comments on tension with rookie Lasse Andersson #OttawaCens #NJDemons #MHL
[video, 45 seconds]
The post-game press line, Ilya Rozanov sweaty and shirtless, two mics shoved into his face.
ESPN reporter: Ilya, what a great game, three points for you, two goals and an assist for Hollander’s goal. But in the third period you crossed-checked Andersson hard and got a minor. You two were battling the whole game and it seems like the Cens were really out to stop Andersson from scoring specifically. You had a few tense face-offs too. You wanna tell us what he said?
Rozanov (shrugging): Look, rookies, high draft picks, they always try to prove themselves. So they challenge better, more established players. But if you want to, how do you say, disrespect your elders, you need the skills to back it up. Like scoring over fifty goals in your rookie season.
Rozanov (winks into the camera, then turns back to the reporter): Andersson doesn’t have those skills. So he was just disrespectful little brat and if you’re disrespectful little brat, you get a spanking for it.
anna@rozanovdefender81
Ilya Rozanov saying the words you get a spanking has cured my depression, watered my crops, and cleared my skin #thanksdaddy
josh@81reasonstostan
For all of you who don’t remember: Rozanov did score more than fifty goals in his rookie season #goat
|
tony@hollanderer24
So did Hollander #goat
|
josh@81reasonstostan
I never said he didn’t? But this ain’t about him?
|
HR supremacy @ottawaaaaaaaaa
Right? Not everything’s a competition
|
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
Rozanov and Hollander would disagree with that #rivalsontheiceforever
Ben@rinkwriter
Roz is right, Andersson is years away from playing on his level and he’s def not gonna come close to Roz and Hollzy’s legendary rookie season
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
imagine getting spanked by Ilya Rozanov 🤩🔥✋🍑
|
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Hollander doesn’t have to
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Just imagine being Shane Hollander
Harris Drover@harrisottowa
Every time that man opens his mouth, he takes another year off my life.
Roz lover@themanthatyouare
Ilya Rozanov the man that you are
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
Sex tape when???
|
k@hollanova
Omg they’ve had enough of their shit leaked don’t even joke about that
|
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Right??? Protect them at all costs!
mildred@shanestiddies
in my brat era, waiting for the spanks. does he spank shane’s perfect ass as well? ✋🍑💦
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
Help people are being horny on main again
|
Still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
I mean one of the hottest guys in the league just winked shirtless into the camera and talked about spanking, that’s already horny
|
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
Fair
Chapter 3
Chapter Summary
Ilya Rozanov breaks the internet talking about why he left Boston. Then Boston breaks the internet right back.
Chapter Notes
Could this happen in the real hockey world? We have no idea. But in the Game Changers universe and our sandbox Ilya deserves nice things and we're going to give them to him.
Queer Sports✅@queersports
Ilya Rozanov on leaving Boston for Shane Hollander #FirstHusbandsOfHockey
[video, 1 min 30 sec]
ESPN Reporter: Ilya, you’re playing in Boston next for the first time this season. Boston still has a fraught relationship with you since you left, but there’s been a lot of speculation after this summer that you left Boston to be closer to Shane. Is this true?
Rozanov (takes a deep breath): Look. I love Ottawa. I love my team. I love the fans and I love the city. But I love them because I know them. And I didn’t know them before I came here. So yes, I came for Shane.
Someone awws off screen.
Rozanov raises an eyebrow.
Off screen: It’s very romantic!
Rozanov (scoffs): Is not romantic. Is just what you have to do sometimes. We were doing long distance for a long time.
SportsNet Reporter: Why didn’t you want to keep doing long distance?
ESPN Reporter: A long time?
SportsNet Reporter: Ilya, why didn’t you just keep doing long distance?
Rozanov: Why would we want a long distance relationship?
SportsNet Reporter: You’re both professional athletes. Isn’t that just part of the life?
Rozanov (glaring a little): No, is not part of the life. Every player in relationship has someone to come home to. We never did. We saw each other at games. Got a night, maybe a day if we were lucky. A weekend for All Stars, a few days for Christmas. And summer of course. But it wasn’t enough. (Rozanov smiles tightly). Was killing us. And Hollander still had three years left on his Montreal contract so I was the only one who could move. I didn’t want to leave Boston, I love Boston, Boston was always good to me, good team, good fans, but we couldn’t keep going, seeing each other so little. So yes, obviously I came to Ottawa for Shane. But! (Rozanov grins his usual cocky smirk) I also knew I could turn the team around. Took some time, but we made the playoffs last year. We will make playoffs again this year.
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Lmao speculation. The moment that video leaked everyone understood why Rozanov left Boston
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
So true bestie that man was whipped
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Right? Just look at his face when he talks about hollzy #relationshipgoals
josh@81reasonstostan
We all knew this, but he almost never speaks about it and never so openly. SportsNet, wtf? Fucking rude questions. But damn good on Rozy to stand up for his relationship!
|
HR supremacy @ottawaaaaaaaaa
#couplegoals
Roz lover@themanthatyouare
Ilya Rozanov the man that you are
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
Lol that espn reporter trying to ask how long they were together when they’ve been keeping it so vague
|
joleeeen@futurehollanovdaughter
Valid though, we need to know!
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
May I direct you to my comprehensive timeline post where I break down each #hollanov interaction and most likely relationship timeline? https://www.tumbl...
|
joleeeen@futurehollanovdaughter
Holy shit
luc@puckrabbit
Wdym Ilya Rozanov left one of the best teams in the league a second cup right in front of him to sign with one of the worst teams in the league to be closer to his boyfriend and I’m sitting here waiting for him to text me back
I guess I’m a cens fan now@frecklesappreciation
The power of Shane Hollander’s game is truly unmatched.
|
mildred@shanestiddies
more like his ass
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@frecklesappreciation
I didn’t want to say it
|
mildred@shanestiddies
but where’s the lie?
Ben@rinkwriter
You gotta #respect a man who moves for love
|
raiders_JD@raidingwiththeraiders
You don’t. Fucking pussy
|
Ben@rinkwriter
Stfu loser. Your masculinity can’t be that fragile.
sofia@raidersfan45
I’ve been hating Rozanov for years and now I’m legit choking up? Wtf?
|
hockeymom@hockeymom24
Same. We knew this, of course, but the way he tells it makes me feel really bad about criticizing him every game.
|
waitingforanothercup@BRsforlife
Me too. Feels almost like we should do something
|
sofia@raidersfan45
I have an idea, DM me
waitingforanothercup@BRsforlife
plan for the the next home game against Ottawa, welcoming Roz back, DM for details
#BostonRaiders #Rozanov #mlhhockey
|
Still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
omg DM sent!
Ottawa Centaurs ✅@OttawaCentaurs
Today, Ottawa loves Boston. We’ll still beat you though 😉
#OttawaCens #BostonRaiders #BostonStillLovesRoz
[picture] The inside of the Boston Raiders arena, many Boston fans holding up signs with the number 81 or Rozanov’s name.
[picture] A row of fans in Rozanov jerseys, holding up a sign with a big 81 painted in rainbow colors.
[picture] On the ice, Ilya Rozanov and Cliff Marleau are standing next to each other, smiling, Marleau is gesturing at the audience.
[picture] A young fan holding up a banner: Hollander can you fight? We want our Roz back.
|
Harris Drover@harrisottowa
And yes, Hollander can fight 🥊😤
Boston Raiders✅@BostonRaiders
#BostonStillLovesRoz
We’re still going to beat you though.
Still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
My heart is so full #BostonStillLovesRoz
[Picture] The inside of the Boston Raiders arena, someone holding up a sign with a rainbow colored heart and ROZANOV next to it
josh@81reasonstostan
Loving all the love for Rozy #BostonStillLovesRoz
[picture] A row of guys in Rozanov jerseys, holding up a sign, saying “out of the dog house”
HR supremacy @ottawaaaaaaaaa
Loving the energy but you’ll have to fight all of Ottawa if you want Roz back #BostonStillLovesRoz
[picture] A banner: Hollander can you fight? We want our Roz back
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
never stopped loving Roz’s ass, abs or anything else about him #BostonStillLovesRoz
sofia@raidersfan45
What a turnout. Love you guys #BostonRaiders #BostonStillLovesRoz
[picture] A sign: Centaurs and Raiders logo, surrounded by hearts
mildred@shanestiddies
even the boston fans have to admit shane hollander is a babe #BostonStillLovesRoz
[picture] A Boston fan holding up a large photo of Shane for an underwear ad campaign. The text beneath reads “We get it!”
raiders_JD@raidingwiththeraiders
Fuck this shit, real Boston fans never forget and never forgive a traitor #BostonStillHatesRoz
|
Still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Cry harder, asshole.
|
waitingforanothercup@BRsforlife
Real Boston fans understand that after years of giving everything for this team, bringing home a cup, and making us a regular in the playoffs, Roz deserves personal happiness #BostonStillLovesRoz
|
Ben@rinkwriter
Do you hate him because he’s queer, one of the best in the league or because you never accomplished your own hockey dreams? #justasking #BostonStillLovesRoz
Roz lover@themanthatyouare
Ilya Rozanov the man that you are #BostonStillLovesRoz
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Look at my man being emotional!!! #BostonStillLovesRoz
[picture] Ilya Rozanov on the ice, looking up into the stands, expression moved, hand on his heart.
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Look at Shane being such a good husband! #BostonStillLovesRoz
[picture] Shane Hollaner and Ilya Rozanov on the ice, looking out into the stands. Rozanov looks visibly emotional, Hollander is next to him, bumping his shoulder.
Boston Raiders✅@BostonRaiders
#BostonStillLovesRoz
We’re still going to beat you though.
|
Ottawa Centaurs ✅@OttawaCentaurs
Nice try. 🏆
|
Boston Raiders✅@BostonRaiders
Next time 💪💪💪
Chapter 4
Chapter Summary
Ilya Rozanov breaks the internet during Ottawa's first game of the season against the Montreal Metros.
Chapter Notes
Apologies to the real Montreal team and fans, we've learned that they'd never abandon their Shane. But we're going with book canon here, so this was a cathartic excercise.
Ottawa Centaurs ✅@OttawaCentaurs
Our Captain is a man of his word. #RozHattrick
#OttawaCens win 6 - 0 against #MontrealMetros
[video, 35 sec]
ESPN reporter: Ilya, how do you feel about your first game of the season against Montreal tonight?
Rozanov: Good. Is always fun to beat Montreal.
ESPN reporter: What about Montreal having the home ice advantage?
Rozanov (shrugs): Does not matter. I will score a hat trick either way.
SportsNet reporter: Excuse me, you’re saying you’re scoring a hat trick tonight in Montreal?
Rozanov: Yes. They’re bad team, and is what they deserve.
SportsNet reporter: Ilya, how much does this have to do with how Shane left Montreal last season?
Rozanov (glares darkly in the direction of the SportsNet mic. The mic starts shaking): This is a very stupid question. I have always wanted to beat Montreal. Now it’s just easier. So we will crush them.
josh@81reasonstostan
Oh yeah, Rozy did not come to play tonight #RozHattrick
[gif] Ilya Rozanov on the ice viciously fighting his way through Montreal’s defense and sinking a brutal top corner shot
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
None of the Centaurs came to play. That whole team was like Hollzy is ours now and you’re paying for what you did to him #montrealisoverparty
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Yeah I can just imagine the speech Rozy must have given before the game
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
I bet he only went “For Hollander” and that did it
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
if roz ever stared at me like he stared at the camera i’d die. or become pregnant. possibly both.
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
The way he kept pissing off the crowd, oh it’s what they deserve #montrealisoverparty
[picture] Ilya Rozanov facing the Montreal fans and taking a bow after his first goal
[picture] Ilya Rozanov blowing a kiss toward the crowd after his second goal
[video, 5 sec] Ilya Rozanov celebrating his third goal with his team, then skating over to the Ottawa box, going down on one knee and sliding the rest of the way toward Shane Hollander with his hands outstretched, presenting his stick like a knight presenting his sword to his king. The background booing changes to a mix of booing, cheering and laughter. The camera zooms in on them as Rozanov reaches the box. He’s grinning widely and Hollander is shaking his head but is laughing.
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Get you man who can do both #RozHattrick
[gif] Ilya Rozanov on the ice viciously fighting his way through Montreal’s defense and sinking a brutal top corner shot
[gif] Ilya Rozanov sliding on one knee toward Shane Hollander, presenting his stick to him and grinning widely
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
My man Hayes with the shutout you know that’s right #montrealisoverparty #OttawaCens
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
Kind of amazing Roz got away with all his bullshit tonight, the Metros looked like they wanted to murder him
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Comeau certainly tried but Dykstra shut that shit down real quick. Not that he needed it 😅
|
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
Lol true, Roz spent a lot of time in the box today. Not that it hurt his game in any way and the Metros deserved every punch they got #montrealisoverparty
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
If anyone is wondering why I still stan this man, this is why. Best player, best fighter, best husband. #RozHattrick
shane is love@censenthusiast
Hollzy really stepped up his game, whatever Roz did during the intermission, it clearly fucking worked. My man is on fire!
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
I don’t think we need to guess here
[gif] Zoomed in shot of Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander kissing passionately in the background of Hayden Pike’s fanmail video
|
k@hollanova
Omg delete this cursed gif
|
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Seriously in this house we do not allow fucking Brad’s video no matter how hot it is
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
This tweet has been deleted
now suffering metros fan@allezlesmetro
Yeah we never should’ve let Hollander go.
|
calvin@metrolife
Shut up, he was literally fucking the enemy.
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Okay homophobe
|
calvin@metrolife
I’m not a homophobe. Hollander could have fucked any guy on center ice wearing a doggy mask during warmp-ups and I wouldn’t have cared but he is literally fucking the fucking ENEMY.
|
still in our dynasty era@metrotraveling
Who he tripped against in the final game of the play offs.
|
calvin@metrolife
Exactly! Even if that wasn’t on purpose, clearly Rozanov messed with his head. We should have swept fucking Ottawa.
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Okay but they’ve been together for years.
|
calvin@metrolife
Or so they say. Could just be PR to make this better. And even if it’s true, clearly when it went public it messed with his game, so.
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Okay but what about Hollander deserving personal happiness?
|
calvin@metrolife
With fucking Rozanov? Good luck with that.
|
still in our dynasty era@metrotraveling
For real though. I have like five gay friends who’d immediately get with Hollander and that’s only people I know personally.
mildred@shanestiddies
lol even the bitter metros fans have to admit what a babe shane is the power of my man’s tiddies is truly unmatched
now suffering metros fan@allezlesmetro
Can’t believe some people still think we’ll get another cup without Hollander 🙄
|
still in our dynasty era@metrotraveling
Okay but the season has just started, the team just needs to adjust.
|
now suffering metros fan@allezlesmetro
Yeah I don’t think I can share your enthusiasm. Springer is a good center, but he’s nowhere near Hollander. And with Hollander and Rozanov, Ottawa is going to dominate the East.
|
Ben@rinkwriter
It’s only been a few games, but it’s clear that every worry having a couple on the team would be bad was wrong. The Cens are better than ever and with Roz and Hollzy, they’re playing for the cup for sure.
puckinggreat@alphadog
So hollander is just letting rozanov do his work for him now? What a pussy
|
tony@hollanderer24
Hollander literally had a three point game???
|
puckinggreat@alphadog
Still we all know he’s rozanov’s bitch
|
tony@hollanderer24
Someone sounds mighty jealous to me…
shane is love@censenthusiast
Only butthurt Metros fans could ever claim Shane Hollander isn’t pulling his weight #montrealisoverparty
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Not like he won them several cups or anything #montrealisoverparty
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Seriously this is why I had no prob switching teams. It’s always been Hollander carrying the metros and the way the org and the press treated him was abysmal. I think if Montreal wasn’t such an insane hockey town, way more fans would’ve switched allegiance
|
blue m&m@kikialacarte
If my family wouldn’t disown me, I’d definitely follow Hollzy to Ottawa
|
Nate@metrossssssss24
Omg same. Still cannot comprehend how they turned their back on him
|
Cay🏒@montrealgenial
Same. He’s the whole reason we became a dynasty again. The man could marry Hannibal Lecter and I’d help him cook his hubby a meal
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
Scoring a hat trick to avenge your husband is a special level of romance #firsthusbandsofhockey
|
luc@puckrabbit
And I can’t even get a second date. FML.
|
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
I know, right? #couplegoals
Chapter 5
Chapter Summary
Ilya Rozanov breaks the internet and a homophobe’s face.
Chapter Notes
Additional warning for someone using a slur off-screen in this chapter.
One Stop Hockey Shop@ManInTheCreasePod
Heated game today, Ottawa beating San Francisco 5-2, but the real heat was between San Francisco’s star center Justin Meyers and Ottawa captain Ilya Rozanov. After a few tense face-offs, they got into a brawl in the third. #OttawaCens #SanFranMission #MLH
|
josh@81reasonstostan
“got into a brawl” lmao my man Rozy beat that guy’s ass
|
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
I’d almost feel bad for Meyers but Roz usually doesn’t beat someone that badly unless they deserve it
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Yeah I’m pretty sure Meyers said the f-word during their last face-off
|
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
Tbf fuck you looks similar
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Yeah but Rozanov wouldn’t have knocked out two teeth for a fuck you. Half the league would be wearing full dentures
|
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
Fair
Ottawa Centaurs ✅@OttawaCentaurs
The Ottawa Centaurs 100% stand behind our Captain Ilya Rozanov. Hate speech has no place on the ice or outside of the rink. We are proud of all our players exactly how and who they are and of our Captain for defending our values. 🏳️🌈🏒 #hockeyisforeveryone
Retweeed by BBQ with Bood✅@ZaneBoodram
Retweeeted by Troy Barrett✅@Troy_B
Retweeted by Hazy✅@WyattHayes
Retweeted by Luca Haas✅@LucaHaas
Retweeted by Evan Dykstra✅@EvanDykstra
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
The way they all retweeted. God I love my fucking rainbow team 🥰
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Gayest and best team in the league 🌈🏒🌈
One Stop Hockey Shop@ManInTheCreasePod
Interview with Ilya Rozanov after the San Francisco-Ottawa game and brawl with SF center Meyers. #OttawaCens #SanFranMission #MLH
[video, 30 sec]
ESPN reporter: Ilya, great game for the Centaurs, but we have to ask about your fight with Meyers. It looked like you had a few tense face-offs with Meyers chirping you a lot, but what made you drop your gloves in the third? Can you tell us what he said to you?
Rozanov: No.
ESPN reporter: Okay, but—
Rozanov: I will not say it because I don’t say words like that. And I think I was surprised, because people know not to f*** with me like that, but Meyers just came back from injury, so maybe he didn’t know yet. Now he does.
Rozanov (smirking darkly into the camera): And I don’t think he will forget.
ESPN reporter (quietly): No, probably not.
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
Oh yeah, Meyers definitely used the f-word, fucking homophobic dick
BayBoy@sfbayboy
I love my team, but this is not acceptable. Bench Meyers now.
|
Hot hockey@themissionislife
Bench him? Trade that MFer, he does not belong in our city. #trademeyers
Gay For Hockey @sfgayhockey
This from a SF player? Fucking read the room! #stfu #trademeyers
|
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Glad to see this kind of response from the San Francisco fans #trademeyers
|
k@hollanova
Trade him? That just makes him somebody else’s problem. People like Meyers need a season off for sensitivity training at least.
|
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
You’re so right queen
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Ilya Rozanov beating up homophobes, nature is healing
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
I don’t get the #trademeyers hashtag. Who’d want a homophobic ass on their team? Oh wait, I forgot about the #MontrealMetros
|
tony@hollanderer24
Where’s the lie?
hockeymom@hockeymom24
You can say what you want about Rozanov as a player, but that kind of language doesn’t belong on the ice
Roz lover@themanthatyouare
Ilya Rozanov the man that you are
puckinggreat@alphadog
Everybody needs to chill it’s just chirping
|
Ben@rinkwriter
Okay homophobe #trademeyers
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
i’m not saying that watching roz beat someone up makes me horny, but i’m also not NOT saying that 🥵
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Look I don’t condone violence but if Ilya wants to beat on a homophobe I’ll be the first one cheering
|
k@hollanova
Yeah, I’ll give you this one
danny_o@admiralsadmirer
Really expected more from Meyers
|
waitingforanothercup@BRsforlife
I expected smarter from a guy who’s been around for a while, like how do you not know Roz will beat your ass for a slur?
|
danny_o@admiralsadmirer
Lol so true, Meyers must be dumb as a bag of bricks
|
at the golden gates@baycityroller
I was so mad when they signed him, vindicated but not glad I was right #trademeyers
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
You can bet Shane scored the game-winning goal right after that fight out of revenge. Like that was a man on a mission.
|
tony@hollanderer24
For sure. Hollander regularly hits 100 mph slap shots with scary accuracy, but that one was particularly brutal.
shane is love@censenthusiast
Hollzy delivering some instant karma!
|
Hot hockey@themissionislife
I can’t even be mad about it, it was a great goal and with what Meyers said we don’t deserve the win today.
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
Hockey is for everyone. Unless you’re a bigoted asshole.
[picture] Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander in the locker room. They’re still wearing their uniform pants but are shirtless. Hollander is holding up the puck from his game-winning goal. Rozanov has his right arm around Hollander’s shoulder, his hand hanging down relaxed in front of Hollander’s chest, bruised knuckles visible. Rozanov is looking smug, Hollander is smiling sharply.
Harris Drover@harrisottawa
This was not the approved message!
josh@81reasonstostan
The bruised knuckles flex, that’s my man proudly showing off his war wounds
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Okay why is that so hot???
|
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
Our man fought for their relationship… ofc it’s hot! Also... it’s them.
mildred@shanestiddies
🚨🚨🚨 sweaty tiddie alert 🚨🚨🚨
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
if that man fought for me i’d be on my knees licking the blood off his hands. and licking other parts. all the parts. 🥵🔥
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what’s happening tonight
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
I know everyone thinks Shane’s the nice one but that smile is borderline feral 😈😼
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
You’re so real bestie, that’s a guy proud of his man
|
mildred@shanestiddies
finally people are seeing the light bc my man is a freak 🥰
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
Look, is Rozanov an asshole? Yes. But he’s our asshole and he’s the right kind of asshole and no one in the entire MHL better forget.
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
amen
josh@81reasonstostan
Taking bets now whether SF will put out an official apology
|
HR supremacy @ottawaaaaaaaaa
I mean it’s fucking San Francisco, soooo
San Francisco Mission✅@SanFranciscoMission
The San Francisco Mission holds their players to the highest standards of sportsmanlike conduct, tolerance and inclusion, and stands as an unwavering ally to all LGBTQ+ members in our community, our city, and the world. See our statement below about the incident in yesterday’s game against Ottawa #SanFranMission
|
at the golden gates@baycityroller
This is a good start but not enough #trademeyers
HR supremacy @ottawaaaaaaaaa
Called it
Shane Hollander✅@shanehollander24
retweeted
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
Hockey is for everyone. Unless you’re a bigoted asshole.
[picture] Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander in the locker room. They’re still wearing their uniform pants but are shirtless. Hollander is holding up the puck from his game-winning goal. Rozanov has his right arm around Hollander’s shoulder, his hand hanging down relaxed in front of his chest, bruised knuckles visible. Rozanov is looking smug, Hollander is smiling sharply.
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
holy shit?
Harris Drover@harrisottowa
I give up.
Chapter 6
Chapter Summary
Intermission: Yuna Hollander breaks the internet with her family Christmas post.
yuna_hollander
[picture] Yuna and Ilya at the stove, both wearing frilly aprons. Ilya’s brows are creased in concentration as he listens to Yuna. In the background Shane is setting the table. He is wearing a black Adidas hoodie.
[picture] Ilya standing on his tip-toes to put a star on the Christmas tree, while Shane and David are holding Christmas ornaments.
[picture] David sitting on a couch, holding up a new puzzle in one hand, wrapping paper still in the other. Ilya looks over his shoulder in obvious interest while he still has a hand on Shane’s leg.
[picture] Ilya and Shane’s dog Anya sitting in front of a decorated Christmas tree wearing a Christmas sweater.
[picture] Selfie of David, Yuna, Shane, and Ilya sitting on the couch, squished together. They’re all smiling widely. Ilya’s arm is half in the picture, holding up the phone. Anya is lying across Shane’s lap.
[picture] Ilya and Shane standing in a doorway under a mistletoe. Ilya has a hand on Shane’s jaw and they’re kissing softly. Shane is smiling into the kiss.
[Caption] Happy Holidays from our family to yours!
hockeymom24 Yuna is so proud of her boys, as she should be! #hockeymama
pony_raiders_love I love a world where Ilya and David spend the holidays doing puzzles together #chosenfamily
hollanderer24 Merry Christmas to you and your family!
mildred_shanestiddies call me ilya rozanov the way i want to kiss shane hollander under the mistletoe, call me anya the way i want to lie across shane’s lap
|
k@hollanova I’m glad you exercised some restraint for his mother’s Christmas post
|
mildred_shanestiddies 😇😇😇
fay_in_my_hollanov_era Ilya always having a hand on Shane, you know that’s right
81mebaby well fuck. did not expect to thirst over a man in an apron but ilya fucking rozanov proved me wrong #letmelickhim
|
k@hollanova you on the other hand… this is a Christmas post!
|
81mebaby and Christmas is about eating good food. and we are being fed.
mai.first.husbands.of.hockey those are my #FirstHusbandsOfHockey and their family!
|
k.hollanova Seriously I’m so happy that they get to have that. They look so happy!
hollanov_trash Okay the whiplash from the cutest most proper family portrait to that mistletoe kiss? Like the softness? The tenderness? Ilya’s hand on Shane’s face and Shane’s happy little smile? I am dead, deceased, posting from the grave
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ also have you noticed Ilya’s other hand? I’m pretty sure it’s on Shane’s ass. Like it’s just out of the picture but if you look at where his arm is…
|
hollanov_trash 👀👀👀
joleeeen my fathers!
|
hollanovtrash my daddies!
roselandry✅ Thank you, Yuna for this amazing collection. I’ll see you all in a few days!
|
yuna_hollander Looking forward to it, honey!
queenlandry Rose’s friendship with Shane is so cuuuute. Like her visiting his family over break, I’m going to die
|
fay_in_my_hollanov_era They’re going to be playing in a few days again, so they might meet at the Ottawa game?
|
queenlandry I don’t really care about hockey but I’ll tune in just to see her slaying in the stands 😅
shilyaisreal Commenting on your ex’s mom’s post? That’s… a choice…
|
freckleappreciation Exes can be friends. Novel idea, eh? Idiot.
ottawa_for_life Shane Hollander’s game needs to be studied. Pulling both Rose Landry and Ilya Rozanov is epic levels of game.
riding_with_the_centaurs Yuna giving birth to one of the biggest hockey stars in a generation, and then getting the other biggest star as a son-in-law? Living the hockeymom dream!
|
hr_supremacy Too bad Roz can’t knock Hollzy up. Imagine their kids!
|
riding_with_the_centaurs Wait. Why is Hollander the one getting pregnant in this scenario?
|
mildred_shanestiddies oh honey.
rinkwriter_ben Yuna is the mother every queer kid needs and deserves #bestmom apart from mine
mai.first.husbands.of.hockey Okay can we circle back to the first pic? I’ve been going back to this post for regular serotonin hits and yes Ilya is weirdly hot with a frilly apron but look at what Shane’s wearing. Like that looks like Ilya’s hoodie?
|
hollanov_trash 👀👀👀 clothes sharing in the official family Christmas post???
|
k.hollanova ugh I hate overspeculating but clothes sharing is my weakness, so… that’s an Adidas hoodie which is Ilya’s brand of choice. It’s black, which is Ilya’s color of choice. And Shane never wears Adidas and very rarely wears black. Plus, it does look a little big on him. They might be almost the same height but Ilya’s definitely broader in the shoulders, so… Yes. Shane’s absolutely wearing Ilya’s hoodie and I’m a puddle on the floor
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ omg I was so distracted by the mistletoe pic I completely missed this, but yeah absolutely. Ilya was wearing the same hoodie two months ago and you can find other instances of clothes sharing through the link in my bio to my hollanov archive
|
joleeeen omg?????????
|
mildred_shanestiddies wearing your husbands clothing #justwifethings
pony_raiders_love as a queer person who has a fairly strained relationship with most of their family (not my sister, shoutout to the best sis in the world, love you Casey) it’s so lovely to see the Hollanders not only embracing their gay son but also his bi husband 🌈 🩷💜💙 #hockeyisforeveryone
|
anna81rozanov so sorry your family isn’t good about it (except for Casey, best sister!) but I hope you can find a new family here with us #hockeyisforeveryone
|
pony_raiders_love I think I have! You guys are great!
|
anna81rozanov 🥰😍
josh_81reasonstostan If Yuna “biggest Metros fan” Hollander can embrace her son marrying Ilya Rozanov, then so can you (looking at you, Metros fans)
|
anna81rozanov I mean Roz moved to Ottawa for Shane. The grand gesture probably counted for something.
|
josh_81reasonstostan If Yuna is like the hockey moms I know, he probably got a speech about loyalty to your draft team lol. But she clearly loves him now, so it’s time to forgive!
|
calvin_metrolife no
|
now_suffering_metros_fan Dude, Rozanov got the Yuna Hollander stamp of approval. Just let it go.
luc_puckrabbit My family was pretty supportive about my coming out, but my uncle with whom I watched and shared a love for hockey my entire life didn’t take it super well. He started coming around after Scott Hunter came out, but Hollander and Rozanov gave him a real push. We’ve been watching all the Cens games together even though he’s a die hard Chicago fan, and it’s been really healing for me #hockeyisforeverone
|
joleeeen my grandparents are the same. They’ve been Ottawa fans all their life and they really didn’t want to pay attention to Scott Hunter, but when Troy Barrett came out they had to deal with it. Hollanov coming out was definitely a shock to their system, but they’re slowly getting over it.
|
luc_puckrabbit Yeah, it sucks and it shouldn’t but for some people it just takes time to unlearn something they’ve believed their entire life
k.hollanova this kind of representation is so important, for real. My cousin plays in a beer league and after Scott Hunter came out, he came out to his team. Most of the guys were super chill about it too and the one homophobe was kicked out
ev_magdalena guys I’m just so happy that after losing most of his family and having to hide his relationship with Shane he finally gets to love openly and gets to have a husband and in-laws and a dog all who clearly love him so much 🐶
|
sofia45 I was mad at him for a long time, but seeing all this makes me really happy for him. And Anya is so precious!!!!
|
fay_in_my_hollanov_era Best doggo ever! #AnyaHollanova 🐶
harrisdrover Anya is the bestest doggo! I wish Ilya was that well trained #IsaidwhatIsaid
|
ilyarozanov81 No leash can hold me down!
Chapter 7
Chapter Summary
Ilya Rozanov breaks the internet posting about Canadian Christmas traditions.
ilyarozanov81✅
[picture] Yuna and Ilya skating on the Rideau Canal. They’re both wearing thick jackets and toques, cheeks pink from the cold and laughing together.
[picture] A partially carved turkey on the table, David Hollander handing over the carving knife to Ilya with a big smile.
[picture] Shane standing on a chair, nailing a sprig of mistletoe over the door. He’s looking over his shoulder, smiling at whoever is taking the picture.
[picture] Ilya and Shane sitting at a kitchen table, a spread of cookies and a bowl of white sugar frosting in front of them. Shane is holding a freshly-frosted cookie, Ilya is booping Shane’s nose with frosting. Shane is scrunching up his nose and he’s glaring at Ilya. Ilya is grinning widely.
[video, 5 sec] Anya jumping around in the snow in a backyard. She is wearing little red shoes on her paws and a Christmas sweater. Ilya can be heard laughing in the background.
[video, 12 sec] Inside a house’s entryway, Ilya and Shane are trying to maneuver a giant Christmas tree around a corner. Ilya is laughing, Shane looks exasperated.
“I told you it’s too big.”
“And I told you not to worry, it would fit.”
“Oh my god, Ilya,” Shane says, hiding his face behind the branches.
From the background, Yuna’s voice. “You need to pivot! Pivot!”
Ilya looks confused. “What is pivot?”
“It means to turn,” Shane says earnestly. “You need to turn!”
“I am turning,” Ilya yells, bending over backwards, trying to lift and turn the tree.
Yuna is laughing in the background.
The camera pivots, showing David. “How many MLH All Star players do you need to carry a Christmas tree?”
The camera pans back to Ilya, Shane, and the tree. They’ve managed to take the turn and are disappearing out of view.
The last shot is Shane smiling to himself holding the tree, while Ilya shouts something in Russian.
[Caption] Learning about Canadian Christmas 🎄🎁❤️🇨🇦
josh_81reasonstostan I’ve been following Rozy’s career for ten years now, and if you’d have told me a year ago he would make a perfectly respectful yet funny son-in-law holiday post, I would not have believed you.
|
hr_supremacy This was on no one’s bingo card…
pony_raiders_love fuck this makes me so emotional. Like, Roz can never go back to Russia but at least he’s finding a new family here and they’re clearly doing everything they can to make him feel welcome, all my love to the Hollanders ❤️
|
anna81rozanov god I know. I have so much love for Russia because it’s where my family is from, but I also resent so much of what’s going on right now. And I grew up in the US, I’ve only been there once, I can’t even imagine how he feels about it. So I’m just so glad he’s finding a new home in Ottawa with Shane and his family ❤️
joleeeen omg Yuna looks so graceful on skates? What a queen!
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ that is Mother
harrisdrover I need to point out that Troy and I bought Anya that Christmas sweater and those boots!
|
ilyarozanov81 you are the best dog dad for Chiron and the best dog uncle for Anya
mai.first.husbands.of.hockey Omg Ilya in the comments, everyone behave
|
mildred_shanestiddies #nope
|
81mebaby #nope
|
k.hollanova 🙄🙄🙄
fay_in_my_hollanov_era Shane looks like an angry kitten 😾
|
hollanov_trash Angry kitten that got into the cream #boop
|
mildred_shanestiddies he does love ilya’s cream…. 💦
freckleappreciation Omg look at Shane’s hair in the mistletoe picture, that was not this year
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ No you’re so right that was a while ago
|
freckleappreciation Despite my username I’m also a connaisseur of Shane’s hair and that was his season 2017-2018 haircut before he started growing it out
|
joleeeen hold up hold up hold uuuuuup Ilya was celebrating Christmas with the Hollanders before he moved to Ottawa???
|
fay_in_my_hollanov_era omg more #hollanov lore ?
|
freckleappreciation I am 100 percent sure that’s when the haircut is from
|
joleeeen holy shitttttttttttt
mildred_shanestiddies shane hollander looking breedable in new family picture 🥵
|
freckleappreciation Not how I’d phrase it, but his ass does look pretty spectacular in the mistletoe pic not gonna lie
|
mildred_shanestiddies that is exactly what i said, just with more drool
81mebaby i wanna climb Ilya way more than i wanna climb that tree. or any tree. or a chair. i just wanna climb Ilya.
24 + 81 = ❤️ And I told you not to worry, it would fit. Okay but going by Shane’s reaction that just has to be a call back right? Right???????
|
k.hollanova because the others are so shameless I always forget that you also don’t know how to behave under a wholesome family post
|
81mebaby nothing about don’t worry it will fit is wholesome K
|
hollanov_trash Yeah no offense, K, but that was absolutely a call back. Like, you can see Shane blush.
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ Especially because we know that man is packing
|
hollanov_trash wait, we do???
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ We do. http://tumblr…
|
hollanov_trash Holy shit how have I not seen this pic before???
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ I had to zoom in and clean up the lighting but you’re welcome
|
hollanov_trash Everybody say thank you to @24 + 81 = ❤️ And to adidas sweatpants
|
81mebaby thank you 🍑🍆
|
anna81rozanov thank you
|
pony_raiders_love thank you #adidas
shilyaisreal I fucking love Yuna for the #Friends reference omfg! #queen
|
k.hollanova Okay but can we all agree that that show did not age well? Like the homophobic jokes alone, never mind the racism…
|
shilyaisreal Absolutely, but at least that scene is unproblematic.
|
k.hollanova It has Ross in it, so no.
|
anna81rozanov Ross is the fucking worst. #justiceforjoey
|
shilyaisreal Okay. Accurate.
24 + 81 = ❤️ So to sum up what we learned from Yuna’s very wholesome and Ilya’s not so wholesome Christmas posts: Ilya loves puzzles, Ilya was celebrating Christmas with the Hollanders before he moved to Ottawa (which firmly puts the relationship timeline into 2017), Ilya needs to be touching Shane at all times, Ilya has a big dick but it is a reassuring lover about it
|
mildred_shanestiddies also shane’s face looks good covered in white 💦
|
hollanov_trash well happy holidays to all of us
Chapter 8
Chapter Summary
Ilya Rozanov breaks the internet being a whipped down bad loverboy (not that this is a surprise…)
Chapter Notes
delayed due to the great ao3 outage, but we're still planning on a regular once a week posting schedule!
maple@5holesinthefence
Omg guys I just saw Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov shopping at Farmboys. I don’t really care that much about hockey, but they were so cute? #OttawaCens
[video, 1 min 5 sec]
The produce section of a Farmboy supermarket. The video is slightly shaky cell phone footage, showing Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov from the side standing in front of the fruit section. Ilya picks up an avocado and holds it out to Shane, who touches it and then shakes his head. Ilya puts the avocado back, picks up a new one and holds it out to Shane who touches it and shakes his hand again. This repeats several more times. Ilya looks briefly up to the ceiling, then says something to Shane. Shane answers. Ilya picks up several avocados and examines them himself before finally holding out one to Shane. Shane inspects it and is finally satisfied and puts the avocado in their cart. Ilya looks very proud of himself.
|
It was rare I was there 🏒@taybemothering
yesssssssss they are so cute and hot, but since when are you a hockey fan too? #hollanov
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Lol I’m not, but I’m from Ottawa. Everyone here knows Shane Hollander whether you like hockey or not. He’s like this city’s hero. I wouldn’t have recognized Ilya Rozanov without him, but who else would that be?
|
It was rare I was there 🏒@taybemothering
Fair enough. It still feels weird to get pictures of them being all domestic now, we lived on crumbs for so long so thank you for your service
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Oh yeah, they were so cute and domestic, they even kissed later!
|
It was rare I was there 🏒@taybemothering
😍🥰
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
And you didn’t post a video of that???
|
maple@5holesinthefence
No?? This already felt weird enough, I’m not going to put their kiss on the internet.
|
k@hollanova
Yeah, come on, we already went though that, no non-con kiss pictures of hollanov on the internet.
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Okay, this is the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen that man do. Any man really.
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Of course Shane would be anal about his avocados. Never change my perfect neurotic baby.
|
Nari@cookingforcens
Okay but avocado selection is so important!
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Shane Hollander really walks Ilya Rozanov like a dog.
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
And that man is loving it 🥰
luc@puckrabbit
Wdym Ilya Rozanov spends minutes picking out avocados to his husband’s satisfaction and I can’t even get coffee in the morning?
josh@81reasonstostan
Still can’t believe Rozy is this fucking whipped.
|
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Wdym you still can’t believe? He moved to fucking Ottawa for Hollander when it still sucked.
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Oh no I just meant I wouldn’t have believed it a year ago, but obviously Rozy’s down bad. Which, fair enough, since he bagged Shane fucking Hollander
|
tony@hollanderer24
Damn right. And Rozanov is the only one who comes even close to Hollander’s level, so even though he’s a dick, he’s worthy
|
josh@81reasonstostan
A worthy dick. You know what, I can live with that description of Rozy lol
maple@5holesinthefence
Can someone explain to me in non hockey terms why Ilya Rozanov going to Ottawa was such a big deal? I’m invested now. #hollanov
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
This is like Zendaya joining Big Brother because it’s filming on the same island as Tom Holland’s new movie
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Oh shit
|
maple@5holesinthefence
I fear I’m caring about hockey now…
|
It was rare I was there 🏒@taybemothering
Yes, join us here too! Hollanov is such an epic ship and we’re getting fed so well now. And they’re also pretty good at hockey…
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
Yes welcome! #oneofus
Marty 🏒@centaursfan72
I just met Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov from the @OttawaCentaurs grocery shopping!!!
[picture] A man in his fifties—Marty—with a Centaurs hoodie standing smiling widely between Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov who are leaning in for the picture. There are shopping bags and two twelve-packs of ginger ale in front of them on the ground. Shane Hollander is holding a small pot of basil in one hand.
|
Marty 🏒@centaursfan72
My dear wife documented the entire thing for you @OttawaCentaurs
[picture] Marty is freaking out, pointing at Shane and Ilya down the aisle, eyes wide, hands in front of his mouth
[picture] Marty standing in front of Ilya Roznov and Shane Hollander, talking happily to Shane. Shane listens intently, holding a small pot of fresh basil. Ilya is watching them with a smile, holding two full reusable shipping bags in one hand and two-twelve packs of ginger ale cans under his other arm.
[picture] Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov walking across the parking lot, Ilya carrying two twelve-packs of ginger ale under one arm, holding a shopping bag with the same hand, Shane carrying a pot of basil in one hand, shopping bag dangling from the same wrist. They’re holding hands with their grocery-free hands. Marty is looking after them, tears in his eyes, clutching at his Centaurs hoodie.
|
Marty 🏒@centaursfan72
And I’m not ashamed I cried. I’ve been a Cens fan all my life, which used to be a pretty depressing affair until Rozanov and Hollander literally saved our franchise.
|
shane is love@censenthusiast
Happy for you! And it looks like they were really cool
|
Marty 🏒@centaursfan72
Yes they were very nice! Rozanov kept joking that I must be so happy to meet the best hockey player in the league and Shane Hollander too and Hollander was just telling him to shut up with the biggest smile. They bicker like my wife and me!
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
that man could crush me with his biceps and i would thank him for it
[picture] zoomed in shot of Ilya Rozanov’s biceps bulging holding the ginger ale
|
evmagda81@magda81
Is he… holding two twelve packs? Casually? Just like that? I’m gonna faint.
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
That man is literally carrying Shane’s bags, his hopes and his dreams
|
hockeymom@hockeymom24
It’s very nice of him to carry the shopping, but that’s not how you use the word literally.
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
You know that man dreams about ginger ale
Nari@cookingforcens
Shane is so pookie I need to put him in my pocket
|
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
Ma’am that’s three time Stanley cup winner, beast on the ice, scorer of two hat tricks this season Thee Shane Hollander
|
Nari@cookingforcens
And he is pookie
joleeeen@futurehollanovdaughter
My fathers!!! Now I just want to tag along and have them buy me ice cream after 😭
mildred@shanestiddies
making ilya carry all his ginger ale oh the power of shane’s ass is truly unmatched
|
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
kind of surprised you didn’t say his tits
|
mildred@shanestiddies
you know what yeah i’m gonna say his tits. ilya can be a boob man
|
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
i mean
[picture] The Centaurs training rink, Ilya Rozanov standing behind Shane Hollander on the ice, both of them dressed in practice jerseys. Ilya has his left arm casually slung over Shane’s shoulder. Barely visible from the angle, his left hand is resting slightly cupped on Shane’s chest.
|
mildred@shanestiddies
omg how did i never notice this, ilya boob man confirmed! he’s basically me!!!!!!!!
|
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
i have a whole folder with pics like this for reasons
|
mildred@shanestiddies
dm sent!!!!!!!!!
cens trash@tyler_h
Okay but can we talk about these two millionaires doing regular grocery shopping? This was not what I expected when Hollander joined the team.
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Somehow I never thought about hockey players earning this much money….
|
Ben@rinkwriter
Hollzy took a hometown discount so Ottawa could afford him, but they’re both still making more than ten million a year. Plus all the ad deals Hollzy has… those guys are swimming in it for sure.
Beeatrice🐝@buzzing4cens
Since we’re sharing #hollanov shopping stories, I met them last Sunday at the Farmer’s Market. They came to my aunt’s stall and Hollander bought honey and he was so nice and earnest about it #ottawafarmersmarket #hazelshoney
|
Saskatchewan truther@shilyaisreal
Just Shane? What about Ilya?
|
waitingforanothercup@BRsforlife
Lol Roz is way too cool for farmers market!
|
Beeatrice🐝@buzzing4cens
Lol no, Rozanov was there too but he looked more asleep than awake honestly. Hollander did all the talking.
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Wait, was this last Sunday? As in the day after they beat Toronto? As in the day after Ilya was partying until at least 4 AM????
[picture] Ilya Rozanov and Troy Barrett in a bar, Troy with two beers in each hand and Ilya carrying an entire tray of shots. Both of them grin drunkenly.
|
Beeatrice🐝@buzzing4cens
Well that explains a lot lol. Can’t believe he was at our stall at opening.
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Rozy’s a stronger man than I am. If I go out and party until 4 AM, I’m not leaving my bed before noon for anything but an emergency. And no, honey shopping is not an emergency
|
Saskatchewan truther@shilyaisreal
But Shane Hollander’s big brown eyes can make anything seem like an emergency
mildred@shanestiddies
the power of shane’s big wet brown bottom eyes is truly unmatched
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Shane Hollander caring about locally harvested honey was not on my bingo card, but now here I am, also reading up on different honey types. The things I do for someone else’s husband…
|
Nari@cookingforcens
Well that man takes five minute to select the perfect avocado and carries a pot of basil like other people their firstborn, so he clearly cares about food
|
k@hollanova
Shane is known for adhering to a high performance diet, so this is really not surprising. I think he used to be really strict when he was still in Montreal, though he’s eased up since coming to Ottawa.
|
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Yet another reason to hate the Metros, everything we know about the climate there is just so toxic
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Time for the obligatory fuck the Metros #montrealisoverparty
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
Please @buzzing4cens tell us there’s a picture of this
|
Beeatrice🐝@buzzing4cens
I debated posting it but it’s honestly too funny not to and I feel like Rozanov wouldn’t mind, he seems like a guy who can take a joke #hollanov
[picture] A wooden table covered in jars of honey, the sign above it reads Hazel’s Honey. An older, gray-haired woman wearing a green apron is standing behind the table, holding up a jar, and seemingly explaining something. On the other side of the table, Shane Hollander is holding two jars of honey and listening intently to the woman. Next to him, Ilya Rozanov is standing wearing a toque that doesn’t quite hide his pale face and the dark purple bruising under his eyes. His eyes are half-closed and he has a giant Tim Horton’s coffee cup in one hand while his other hand is clutching Shane Hollander’s jacket.
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
THANK YOU
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
The way Ilya clutches Shane’s jacket, somebody sedate me!!!!
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
For real though, no one is taking him from you buddy
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Ilya looks like death warmed over and he still went to the Farmer’s Market with Shane, that’s #husbandgoals
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Shane Hollander really really really walks Ilya Rozanov like a dog.
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
I opted to not go to the farmer’s market last weekend, cause I wanted to sleep in. Fucking hate myself for that choice now…
shane is love@censenthusiast
I just love how Hollzy always gives the people he talks to his full attention, doesn’t matter if it’s a fan or a honey vendor
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
The goodest Canadian boy
|
tony@hollanderer24
Hollander has always been a class act, especially compared to some other assholes in the league. He used to be way more introverted but he’s been really coming out of shell more the last few years
|
shane is love@censenthusiast
I wonder if that’s because of Rozanov or because he’s out now
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Probably a little of both!
Nari@cookingforcens
Are there two pookies now? Holding on to your husband for dear life in the name of honey. #ottawafarmersmarket #hazelshoney
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Going grocery shopping together. Going to the farmers market together. It just makes me so emotional that they’re finally in one city and get to do all these mundane things together. Also, unrelated, cannot believe that Ilya still looks this good hungover???
|
k@hollanova
God I know. This is what they mean when they say nature is healing. Also Ilya always looks good, he defies laws of nature like that. Not that Shane is any different…
|
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
I know 😭
mildred@shanestiddies
shane… honey… oh i’m getting ideas
|
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
do these ideas come with licking? i feel there needs to be licking…
|
mildred@shanestiddies
you know me so well 🥰
|
k@hollanova
you two truly share one single brain cell
luc@puckrabbit
Wdym hungover as fuck and Ilya is still the best partner ever and my last date just ghosted me. Like what the actual fuck???
|
k@hollanova
Hun, I hate to break this to you… but you have horrible taste in men
|
luc@puckrabbit
I know 😭
Chapter 9
Chapter Summary
Ilya Rozanov breaks the internet posting about the MLH All-Star game. (And so does Carter Vaughn a little)
Chapter Notes
Since we now have a whole plan for this fic, including the rest of the season, the playoffs and the summer, we decided there also needed a proper beginning. So we’re doing a prequel now, The Ottawa Centaurs Break the Internet that focuses on the summer before Shane starts playing in Ottawa, starting with their engagement announcement.
MLH✅@officialMLH
Heading into the 2022 All-Star weekend, share your favorite All-Star memory from previous years! #MLHAllStar
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Lol this is not going to be a surprise, so I’ll just start #MLHAllStar #hollanov #FirstHusbandsOfHockey
[picture] Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander at the 2017 All-Star game on the ice, Rozanov kissing Hollander on the cheek after a goal
|
joleeeen@futurehollanovdaughter
Look at my fathers! Best All Star memory ever! #FirstHusbandsOfHockey
|
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
For real! #Daddies
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
The moment I became a believer #MLHAllStar #hollanov #FirstHusbandsOfHockey
[picture] Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander at the 2017 All-Star game on the ice, Rozanov kissing Hollander on the cheek after a goal
|
k@hollanova
I only started believing it when they announced the foundation, but looking back it was so obvious. Like yes, hockey players do this all the time, but these two never did anything like this before
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
Thisssssssss. The amount of times I pointed to this as proof they were hiding in plain sight and people went this is just what hockey players do but it was never what they did!
spencer🏒@pumasforlife
Best All-Star memory will forever be this amazing pass goal combo by Chicago’s Ganey and Hollander in 2019 #MLHAllStar
[gif] Shane Hollander tearing down the ice, swerving gracefully around a defender and shooting a pass to Wilson Ganey on the other side of the rink who shoots from the boards and buries it in the upper left corner.
|
tony@hollanderer24
One of Hollander’s top five All-Star assists for sure, though nothing beats his 2017 run with Rozanov.
|
spencer🏒@pumasforlife
Fair. But I’m a Chicago boy so… 😅
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
Goalies are a special breed and we love them for it @WyattHayes #goaliedance #MLHAllStar
[picture] Wyatt Hayes at the 2021 All-Star game in the middle of roughing up the crease
[gif] Wyatt Hayes at the 2021 All-Star game carefully tapping his gloved hand on one goal post, and then the other, nodding to himself.
[gif] Wyatt Hayes at the 2021 All-Star game Hardest Shot Goalie Contest, missing the puck and instead falling over and sliding into the goal himself.
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Look I know I’m all in on hollanov getting us the cup, but real talk we also couldn’t do it without Hazy
|
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
For sure. It’s amazing how Toronto fumbled both him and Barrett so bad that we had a shutout win against them this season already
|
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
karma
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
Favorite All-Star memory
[picture] Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander at the 2017 All-Star game on the ice, Rozanov kissing Hollander on the cheek after a goal.
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Okay it’s a surprise who posted it
|
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
Is it though???
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
Ilya being hot for his husband? Fork found in kitchen!
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Lol you’re so right actually
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Only Shane ‘Canada’s golden boy prince of hockey’ Hollander could turn Ilya ‘biggest asshole womanizer of the MLH’ Rozanov into an absolutely whipped down bad loverboy
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
And we should all thank him for it
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Amen
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Shane Hollander really saw the (second) best player in the MLH and went “yup, that one’s mine”
|
evmagda81@magda81
I’m a big fan of the Ilya domesticated himself theory, because I’m pretty sure he was the one who went after Shane
|
k@hollanova
They probably just bonked into each other during their first Prospect Cup game and activated their soulbond.
|
spencer🏒@pumasforlife
Well tbh they’re the only ones who can keep up with each other and even as a Chicago fan I can admit they’re magic on the ice together.
Carter Vaughn✅@admiralsvaughn19
One of my favorite All-Star memories. We really should have known… #MLHAllStar
[picture] A candid shot of a hotel pool, Shane Hollander sitting on a pool lounger, wearing a shirt and sunglasses. Ilya Rozanov is standing over him in just a pair of black trunks and is clearly shaking the water out of his curls, aiming it for Hollander who has his arms up to shield himself from the water
|
Cliff M ✅@cliffmarleau7
Hollander is a saint for putting up with Roz and his bullshit lol
|
BBQ with Bood✅@ZaneBoodram
Dude this is their idea of foreplay 😆
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
omg?????????
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Guys new #hollanov lore dropped!!!
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
ilya wet and dripping? yes please... all those water droplets are drawing a path to the D!
|
mildred@shanestiddies
you know my boy loves getting sprayed by his man 💦
Harris Drover@harrisottawa
An easy weekend, they said. Just repost some official pictures, they said, make a highlight reel and enjoy the week off.
[gif] Bruce Willis as John McClane in Die Hard lying in a ventilation shaft
|
Troy Barrett✅@Troy_B
Log off and go snuggle Chiron ❤️
cens era baby!@barrettsbabe
Omg Harris Troy interaction they’re just so cuuuute 🤩
joleeeen@futurehollanovdaughter
Okay but when is the pic Vaughn posted from???
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
So I looked it up and all three of them were together at All-Stars in 2017 and 2020.
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
It’s not that easy to see in this picture, but that’s definitely Shane’s earlier haircut, so it has to be 2017
|
joleeeen@futurehollanovdaughter
The 2017 being together agenda grows stronger every day
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
At this point denial is delusional honestly. Like look at them
Saskatchewan truther@shilyaisreal
Okay I did not see Carter Vaughn giving us new #hollanov content
|
k@hollanova
Why not though? He’s been an outspoken ally since Scott Hunter came out, so he’d support Hollanov as well.
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
Okay, who’s ready for All-Star this weekend? Still can’t believe we have three players going this year, but of course the fans would vote in both Hollander and Rozanov and then make Hollander captain
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Loling so hard at the league picking Hayes as All-Star (well-deserved btw!) to avoid the whole hollanov thing only for the fans to vote both of them in. The queers keep winning.
|
Nate@metrossssssss24
Oh you can bet that every bitter Metros fan voted in Hollander and then voted to make him captain. Like there’s only so many times we can ask for the front office to resign, but we can punish them in other ways.
|
Cay🏒@montrealgenial
So real omg. I made my entire beer league vote for Hollander
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Okay, love the pettiness
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
New favorite All-Star memories.
[picture] Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander in full hockey gear, smiling at each other on the bench, shoulders touching.
[picture] Ilya Rozanov celebrating his win in the Hardest Shot competition with 102.48 mph. Shane Hollander, who also took part in the event, sits next to him, looking grumpy but fond.
[picture] Selfie of Ilya and Shane sitting on a lounge chair by the pool. Ilya is sitting behind Shane, holding up the phone, his other arm wrapped around Shane’s waist and grinning. Shane is squinting into the camera but he’s smiling and leaning back into Ilya. They are shirtless and wet.
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
Ilya feeding us directly from the first All-Star day, thank you daddy
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Uhg how is he so hot??? Also of course Ilya would post a picture winning the shot competition over Shane, never change my favorite beloved asshole 🥰
|
k@hollanova
It’s what I love about them so much, they still compete as hard as always. Their professional rivalry was always real because they’re competitive athletes to their core
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
After half a season of them together I almost forgot how competitive they used to be and what a fucking dick Roz used to be about it god I love this man
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
I know they’re the best hockey players in the league but right now they’re just the hottest
|
Saskatchewan truther@shilyaisreal
They’ve always been the hottest?!
puckinggreat@alphadog
Maybe focus on playing hockey instead of playing model
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Why? He’s at the All-Star game and the captain of a division leading team. It’s not like this is hurting him
|
Ben@rinkwriter
Cope harder homophobe. Real men can do both.
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Oh to be so hot that crybabies on the internet claim you’re playing model when you’re just… existing.
joleeeen@futurehollanovdaughter
Guys I love this so much for them. look at my fathers being hot and unbothered and fucking all stars together 🥰
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
i need him to split me in half! we all know that man is packing serious heat
mildred@shanestiddies
yessssssss those are my tiddies best tiddies i wanna bite them!
Roz lover@themanthatyouare
Ilya Rozanov the man that you are
Marty 🏒@centaursfan72
Time for the first of the #MLHAllStar games! So excited to see three @OttawaCentaurs on the Atlantic team!
shane is love@censenthusiast
Am I the only one who thinks splitting teams by divisions into Atlantic, Central, Metropolitan and Pacific is kind of boring? They used to do so many more fun combos.
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Yeah because they tried to keep hollanov on different teams for the rivalry lol
cens trash@tyler_h
Okay, Roz and Hollzy on the same line, this is going to be a goal bonanza #ATLvsCTR
|
cens trash@tyler_h
And Roz scores before I even finished that tweet lol #ATLvsCTR
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
God, Shane’s so cute when he gets all smiley after scoring on an assist from his husband #ATLvsCTR
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
I don’t know why they bother getting someone else on the team, seriously. It’s three on three, but you really only need Hollzy and Roz lol #ATLvsCTR
|
cens trash@tyler_h
For real, whoever is playing defense with them was just chilling
|
Good Neighbor Paddy🌈@buffalooooooos
That’s mostly Kline! He’s our rookie, and he’s probably just thrilled to be there and get to play with the #FirstHusbandsOfHockey #ATLvsCTR
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Valid tbh
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
And the Atlantic team beats the Central team 10 - 3, with 7 of those goals scored by #hollanov. Absolute GOATs #ATLvsCTR
|
Good Neighbor Paddy🌈@buffalooooooos
Very grateful Hollander gave that one assist to Kline when he could have passed to Rozanov so our boy got a goal 😅
cens trash@tyler_h
Seated for the final All-Star game where team Atlantic *cough*team hollanov*cough* will destroy the Metropolitan team #ATLvsMET
josh@81reasonstostan
What a fucking goal by Hollander on a frankly nasty blind-pass assist from Rozy holy shit #ATLvsMET
|
Hot hockey@themissionislife
Honestly they should be ashamed of themselves for how bad they’re making everyone else look
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Those are our #FirstHusbandsOfHOckey celebrating their third assist goal combo of the game 🥰
Ben@rinkwriter
This is really just a warning to all other teams not to invite an Ottawa powerplay, because #hollanov will destroy you #MLHAllStar
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
And the Atlantic team beats the Metropolitans 9 - 4 with six of those goals scored by #hollanov. What a time to be a Cens fan, seriously
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Also Shane and Ilya splitting up in the last period to play with some of the younger players in the league and setting up assists so the others can score, they’re truly the hockey parents of the league
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
I have it on good authority that Luca Haas calls them his hockey dads so you’re not far off lol
|
joleeeen@futurehollanovdaughter
Yesssss those are all our fathers
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
Their love is the only food I need
[picture] Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander celebrating after a goal, Ilya kissing Shane’s helmet.
|
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
And they keep feeding us 😋
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
And the most favorite memory All-Star memory @shanehollander24 #IrinaFoundation
[video, 45 sec] The middle of the ice, Shane receiving the All-Star MVP award and a giant check for one million dollars to roaring applause. “Thank you so much,” Shane says. “I am very grateful for the award and the opportunity to donate this money to the Irina Foundation.” He pauses shortly because of the loud applause. “It means so much to both Ilya and I to give back to the hockey community, both by supporting any and all young players just getting started and by giving back to mental health organizations. Mental health is so important, both on and off the ice, please remember to take care of yourself. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. Hockey is for everyone!” The entire arena cheers loudly.
BBQ with Bood✅@ZaneBoodram
retweeted
Troy Barrett✅@Troy_B
retweeted
Hazy✅@WyattHayes
retweeted
Luca Haas✅@LucaHaas
retweeted
Evan Dykstra✅@EvanDykstra
retweeted
Scott Hunter ✅@admiralshunter21
retweeted
So proud of what you guys are doing, can’t wait to coach with you again this summer #IrinaFoundation
|
King of the hockey gays 👑🏒@huntingthecup
Yessss king. Never a bad day to be a Scott Hunter fan
|
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
If you’re not in hospital for hip replacement by then, we will be happy to have you
josh@81reasonstostan
Lmao Rozy never misses an opportunity to chirp Hunter, what a fucking legend
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Roz not even posting about his team winning the game or his absolutely insane goal, he’s got his priorities #IrinaFoundation
puckinggreat@alphadog
Can’t even enjoy a fucking all stars game without getting this woke bullshit shoved down your throat
|
cens trash@tyler_h
Right. Enabling kids to play hockey is *checks notes* woke bullshit now and somehow mental health awareness is also bad? My dude, you need to get a life.
|
tony@hollanderer24
The amount of work Hollander and Rozanov have done to grow the sport and help clean up one of the worst sports league images that we have precisely because of assholes like you, you should be grateful
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
So proud of the work Shane and Ilya are doing with the #IrinaFoundation ❤️❤️❤️
|
k@hollanova
What I really appreciate about them is that they actually put in the work and not just donate a little money. It makes such a difference.
Nari@cookingforcens
I love the #IrinaFoundation and their goal. Also the entire effing team retweeting, I’m crying.
Saskatchewan truther@shilyaisreal
Ilya must’ve been so lonely before he found his Canadian family #husbandgoals
maple@5holesinthefence
I just learned about the #IrinaFoundation and had to immediately donate some money. Such an important cause and they actually coach at the camps themselves? I’m not regretting getting into #hollanov
|
It was rare I was there 🏒@taybemothering
Yessss they’re really putting in the work. Also please watch this video of them being absolutely adorable with the kids http://youtub…
Ottawa Centaurs ✅@OttawaCentaurs
Proud of our three All-Stars winning with the Atlantic Division! #MLHAllStar #OttawaCens
[picture] Ilya Rozanov celebrating his win in the Hardest Shot competition with 102.48 mph. Shane Hollander is sitting next to him, smiling.
[picture] Wyatt Hayes in front of the goal, receiving celebratory head taps from the rest of the Atlantic All-Star team.
[picture] Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander celebrating after a goal, Rozanov kissing Hollander’s helmet.
[picture] Shane Hollander is awarded a giant check of one million dollars for winning the MVP.
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Not Roz recreating their iconic 2017 celly shot, that man is such a romantic
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Whipped 🥰
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
How it started vs How it’s going
[picture] Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander at the 2017 All-Star game on the ice, Rozanov kissing Hollander on the cheek after a goal
[picture] Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander celebrating after a goal at the 2022 All-Star game, Rozanov kissing Hollander’s helmet.
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Omg Harris being diplomatic and posting a pic where Shane smiles at Ilya’s win while Ilya posted one where Shane’s all grumpy 😂
luc@puckrabbit
Wdym I just spent my weekend hooking up with a terrible ex at our high school reunion drunk on disgusting punch in the janitor’s closet while Ilya Rozanov is adorable with his husband at a work event honoring them as the best in their field???
|
k@hollanova
Omg, wtf? Make better life choices! But also, seriously, what the fuck?
|
luc@puckrabbit
I know 😭😭😭 but is there anything that makes you make bad choices like feeling bad at a high school reunion?
|
k@hollanova
fair
Chapter 10
Chapter Summary
Ilya Rozanov breaks the internet being adorable with children.
Chapter Notes
You’ve ever seen a clip of a hockey player trying to get back to their bench with a broken skate blade? We highly recommend you do.
Harris Drover@harrisottawa
When I took this job I never imagined having #hollanov on the team, but as much as they give me gray hairs, they also remind me how fun hockey can be! @OttawaCentaurs
[video, 1 min 20 sec]
The third period of the Ottawa - Buffalo game, three minutes left on the clock. The score is 5 - 0 Ottawa. Ilya Rozanov is skating down the ice when he suddenly stumbles and falls. He tries to get up again but can’t because one of his blades has broken off. Zane Boodram gives him a push with his stick toward the bench as he skates by. As the game continues, Rozanov crawl-skates on all fours toward the bench where Shane Hollander is leaning over, stretching out his hand for Rozanov to grab. Just before Rozanov reaches the boards, he starts flailing on the ice, hand outstretched, yelling “I can’t reach it, Hollander, save me, I can’t move anymore, is too far.”
There is a group of kids in the stands behind the Ottawa bench, dressed in Ottawa Juniors jackets and they’re shouting and laughing loudly.
“What the fuck are you doing, Rozanov, the game is still going on!” Hollander yells.
“Hollander, saaaave me!”
“Rozanov, you fucking asshole, get over here!”
“I can’t, ice is too slippery. Come on, are you going to let me die like Rose let Jack die? There is space for me on the bench!”
Hollander stares blankly out on the rink. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He looks to the rest of the bench for help, but Holmberg and Young are doubled over laughing and Haas just stares incredulously at Rozanov. The assistant coaches are hiding behind their clipboards and head coach Wiebe is looking up to the rafters for guidance.
Behind the Ottawa bench, the kids are screaming louder, a chorus of “save him, Hollzy!” can be heard.
Hollander rolls his eyes, but leans forward, and stretches his stick out over the boards. “Okay, come on, just grab my stick.”
With what looks like his last strength, Rozanov lunges for the stick and then lies limply on the ice as he lets Hollander pull him in.
“Fuck, move your ass, you’re way too heavy, you dick.”
“I almost died and this is how you treat me?” Rozanov yells while he pulls himself up the boards.
Hollander just whacks him with his stick but he’s smiling.
In the background Young hops the boards and there’s some flurry of attendants coming over with new blades. Behind the bench, the kids cheer loudly. With a broad grin, Rozanov sits down and raises his stick in triumph. Next to him, Hollander shoves him in the shoulder, but he’s smiling. Then he forcefully turns Rozanov on the bench so he’s facing the attendant with the new skate.
josh@81reasonstostan Play so dominant you can just take a break clowning around for the kids during the game, fucking #goat
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Shane tried to look so mad but you just know that man’s dreaming of the kids they’re gonna have
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
Oh yeah, he wasn’t really mad
[gif] Close-up of Shane’s face, scowl giving way to reluctant smile.
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Ovaries exploded. Seriously this man is just *bites fist*
mildred@shanestiddies
the knock him up agenda grows stronger every day
|
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
i’m sure Ilya is doing his best to make it happen!
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Shane reeling in his husband… Not that Ilya is fighting against it 😂
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
Ilya Rozanov is stronger than I am because if Shane told me to grab his stick I would not play around
|
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
The way they’re flirting in public though, absolutely love that for them. And for us.
hockeymom@hockeymom24
While I appreciate Rozanov putting on a show for the kids, it’s very unsportsmanlike to do it during the game.
puckinggreat@alphadog
Rozanov should go to broadway it’s where guys like him belong
|
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Guys like him? Oh, you mean number one draft pick, Stanley Cup champion, two time Rocket Richard and two time Art Ross winner, not to mention MVP? Guys like that??? Okay homophobe.
|
k@hollanova
What I love about this is that even in this scenario where this incel POS thinks he’s insulting him he’s still giving the best address for theatre. Like if you’re on broadway, you’ve made it
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Rozy dominates every stage he’s on
raiders_JD@raidingwiththeraiders
Lol everybody always trying to say how great Rozanov is now when he’s still just such an asshole. I don’t believe for a second this was for the kids, Rozanov just wanted to humiliate Buffalo
|
waitingforanothercup@BRsforlife
Seriously, I’ve forgiven Rozanov a lot but this was so unsportsmanlike. Just because you’re in the lead doesn’t mean you have to showboat
|
shane is love@censenthusiast
He was entertaining the kids? Like you can clearly see it was for them
|
raiders_JD@raidingwiththeraiders
As if Rozanov cares about kids
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Stfu you have no fucking idea, Ilya Rozanov visits the children’s ward in Ottawa General Hospital like three times a season and spends hours with them
|
raiders_JD@raidingwiththeraiders
Publicity stunts do not mean people actually care
calvin@metrolife
Hollander going along with Rozanov’s antics, he’s truly stooped so low. Makes you wonder how much of that good sportsmanship he put up at Montreal was just a facade and we’re finally seeing the real him
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Shane has more sportsmanship in his pinky than you have in your whole body. They were entertaining the children, omg.
Anders Lindqvist✅@lindqvistbuffalo36
Guys, it’s all good. We love putting on a show for the entire audience, especially the kids, and Roz did a great job of it.
|
Tom Miller✅@millerbuffalo57
Honestly watching Rozanov pretend to die on the ice was pretty funny from our bench
|
Darren 🦬@buffalos4life
Lol yeah you guys looked like you were having a great time!
[picture] The Buffalo bench, the players all laughing and pointing across the ice where Ilya Rozanov is flopping around on the ice.
Buffalo Sabretooths ✅@BuffaloSabretooths
We loved seeing Rozanov flop around on the ice and so did the kids. Win-win.
|
Ottawa Centaurs ✅@OttawaCentaurs
Well, technically, we won. 🏅
|
Buffalo Sabretooths ✅@BuffaloSabretooths
I think we all won. I have a feeling we’re going to get a lot of mileage out of this one…
[gif] Ilya Rozanov theatrically flopping around on the ice in the Buffalo arena.
|
Ottawa Centaurs ✅@OttawaCentaurs
Enjoy it until we meet again…
[gif] A young Ilya Rozanov shirtless during a press interview, winking into the camera.
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Not Harris coming back with THEE OG Ilya Rozanov winking gif lol
cens trash@tyler_h
Not even the buffalo players are bothered, people need to chill
|
raiders_JD@raidingwiththeraiders
Buffalo is trying to save face after getting beaten by a team full of pussies
|
Jules 🏒@buffaloblood
Mighty brave for someone who wouldn’t dare to say that to Rozanov’s face.
josh@81reasonstostan
Has everyone collectively forgotten that Ilya Rozanov runs a summer hockey camp for kids where he coaches himself???
[Picture] A group of children in hockey gear posing on an ice rink, Ilya Rozanov lying on the ice in front of them, head propped up on one hand and grinning at the camera.
Hayden Pike✅@haydenpike35official
I can’t believe I’m defending Rozanov, but the man is actually really good with kids and loves spending time with them.
[picture] Ilya Rozanov with the Pike twins at a tea party. Ilya is sitting cross-legged in front of a tiny table wearing a tiara, while he very seriously pours imaginary tea for a giant stuffed bear.
[picture] Ilya Rozanov lying on the floor in a spacious living room, three of the Pike children all piling on top of him. In the background, Shane Hollander is laughing while holding toddler Amber on his arm.
[picture] Ilya and Shane walking down the street. They each have one of the Pike twins riding on their shoulders and Ilya is pulling a push car behind him with Amber while Arthur is trailing along on Shane’s hand. Next to them, Jackie Pike is walking, happily biting into a muffin.
[picture] Ilya on an ice rink, holding hands with the Pike twins and spinning them around. In the background Shane is gently pushing Arthur along the ice while Hayden is skating next to him, pulling Amber along with him.
|
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
Daddy Hayds posting evidence of Ilya being awesome with kids, for YEARS is my new happy place. This is like what… 2-3 years of Ilya being around the Pikes?
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
I think the oldest pic is the tea party one. Based on the twins’ age I’d put this firmly in the 2018/19 season, when Ilya first played for Ottawa. So it looks like Hayden was in on the secret for a while
Pike bunny🏒🐰@pikeme35
Gosh, Hayden is SUCH a good dad 😍
shane is love@censenthusiast
I know Rozy is the flashy one when it comes to entertaining kids, but seeing Hollzy holding Pike’s kids is giving me such good dad vibes 🥰
Nari@cookingforcens
Omg Ilya and Shane carrying all four kids so Jackie Pike can eat a muffin in peace, absolute queen behaviour. You make those men and their hockey muscles work for you!
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
Well I do give them the best presents.
[picture] Four children standing with their backs to the camera, the twins and the little girl wearing Ottawa Rozanov jerseys, the boy wearing an Ottawa Hollander jersey.
Quoted Tweet
Hayden Pike✅@haydenpike35official
I can’t believe I’m defending Rozanov, but the man is actually really good with kids and loves spending time with them
|
Hayden Pike✅@haydenpike35official
I try to support you and this is what I get? A mutiny in my own home? When did this even happen?
|
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
I am the best hockey player and best gift giver, this is the natural progression.
📸 @jackiepike35
|
Hayden Pike✅@haydenpike35official
What the…
|
Jackie Pike@jackiepike35
😇😇😇
josh@81reasonstostan
Rozy’s beef with Pike will never not be funny
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Roz is truly the best kind of asshole
Pike bunny🏒🐰@pikeme35
Hayden is SUCH a saint for putting up with Rozanov 🙄
Marie@marieistired
I cannot take this Rozanov slander. That man loves kids and he was a saint when he visited my son in the hospital. The whole team is amazing, honestly, but he’s a stand-out. #OttawaCens
[picture] Ilya Rozanov standing next to a hospital bed with a ten-year old boy in it. He has an arm around the kid who’s smiling widely.
Will@will747smithers
For everyone saying Rozanov didn’t do this for the kids, you clearly have no idea what he’s really like, so here’s @ilya_81rozanov playing Mario Kart with my little sister.
[video] In front of a giant TV, Ilya Rozanov and Troy Barrett sit with four children on the ground, playing Mario Kart. On the screen, Yoshi is racing against Princess Peach.
“Prepare to die,” a girl wearing a Cens toque says.
“Never,” Ilya shoots back. On the screen, a red shell destroys Princess Peach. “Noooooo,” Ilya groans and theatrically flops down on the floor. “I am dead. You have killed me.”
The children all laugh hysterically.
“You are my hero,” Troy tells the girl very earnestly.
“Barrett, you traitor, bag skates for you,” Ilya growls from the floor. Then he sits up again and holds his hand out for the girl to shake. “You win,” he declares. “Beat me fair and square.”
She smiles at him and shakes his hand.
“And as soon as you get out of here, we can see if you can beat me on the ice too,” Ilya says, giving her a conspiratory grin. “Deal?”
The girl smiles brightly. “Deal.”
|
Melinda@melindatakesvitals
I love that man. Fun fact: He also bought the TV for the hospital so they could have Mario Kart tournaments on a proper big screen.
|
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
Aimee is a great Mario Kart Champion, it was an honor to play against her.
waitingforanothercup@BRsforlife
Okay these are all so heartwarming. He really cares about the kids.
|
raiders_JD@raidingwiththeraiders
Lol why the fuck are you crawling up Rozanov’s ass now?
|
waitingforanothercup@BRsforlife
Because I can admit when I was wrong. He wasn’t showboating, he was obviously genuinely entertaining the kids and the only people still complaining are haters like you.
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Roz already did the whole visit the children’s hospital thing in Boston and he famously did several make a wish requests, so this shouldn’t be news to a Boston fan. But I’m glad you can own up to your mistake!
McGill bound!@Joeyyyy06
I still have the cast Ilya Rozanov and the other Centaurs signed three years ago when I broke my arm.
[picture] A cast signed with different signatures. Legible are Bood, Hayes, and Roz. Next to the Roz is a crude drawing of a centaur.
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Finally, something Ilya Rozanov cannot do: draw 😂
|
Page@outofmybook
They do finally have an artist though! My daughter broke her leg last fall and Luca Haas drew a beautiful centaur for her!
[picture] A cast with several signatures, in the middle is a beautiful drawing of a centaur.
|
#1 bunny fan@lucahaasismylove
Omg thank you for sharing that 😍
Saskatchewan truther@shilyaisreal
Is it bad to wish I was a sick kid in Ottawa so Ilya and Shane would visit me in the hospital?
|
k@hollanova
Yes!
Kate@ottawakate
We’re huge Ottawa fans, and we live close to Ilya, so for every home game my kids hang a banner outside our yard wishing Ilya good luck and he stops before every game to talk to them and he has been doing that for years. And since Shane moved here, they’ve both been talking to the kids.
[picture] Two children, both wearing Ottawa jerseys, holding a banner saying We love you, Ilya! standing in front of a black Mercedes SUV, Ilya Rozanov kneeling between them and hugging them both. All three are smiling widely.
[picture] The same children, a little older, both wearing Ottawa jerseys, holding up a banner saying Shane Hollander + Ilya Rozanov = Stanley Cup in front of a black Mercedes SUV, Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander standing between them and hugging them both. All four are smiling widely.
|
mildred@shanestiddies
you don’t know how much i need that man to get pregnant like i neeeeeed ilya to breed him like yesterday
|
k@hollanova
Mildred! Not under the neighbor’s post for fuck’s sake, she might actually see.
|
mildred@shanestiddies
fine
mildred@shanestiddies
This tweet has been deleted
Saskatchewan truther@shilyaisreal
Omg they’re going to make such good parents 🥰
mildred@shanestiddies
back on my own timeline: ilya needs to get that man pregnant i’m so serious guys he needs to be knocked up like yesterday
|
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
K scared me away from the other post too but i know i’m safe here so now that we’re away from prying eyes… YES!
maple@5holesinthefence
Oh no I fear I’m becoming a stan. Because what do you mean I just zoomed in on Shane being absolutely adorable with his best friend’s kid? Also the fact that I know who his best friend is help
|
It was rare I was there 🏒@taybemothering
There’s a video from Shane’s time in Montreal when a juniors team came to the Metros practice and Shane spent like ten minutes signing stuff and talking super earnestly about hockey with a bunch of ten year olds. It’s going to make you cry. http://youtub…
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Don’t forget the Raiders visiting a junior league tournament in 2015 and Roz and Marly and a bunch of other guys shooting pucks with them in street clothes http://youtub…
|
maple@5holesinthefence
I’m crying. But also going down a rabbit hole.
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
Here’s my tumblr tag for hollanov videos being adorable with kids http://tumblr…
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Omg thank you!!!
|
It was rare I was there 🏒@taybemothering
👀
|
joleeeen@futurehollanovdaughter
👀😭
luc@puckrabbit
Wdym Ilya Rozanov is father material before he even has kids with his husband and I couldn’t even get my last boyfriend to water my plants???
|
k@hollanova
Okay seriously we’re going to find you a man, this is too sad.
Chapter 11: Interlude: Luc's Lovelife
Chapter Summary
K tries to fix Luc’s disastrous love life.
Chapter Notes
Listen. We are so so thrilled with all the love and worries over poor Luc's love life. Never in a million years did we think our bit would get this reaction. And we love Luc. Have always loved Luc. So the torturing him bit was always going to be temporary. He still has a ways to go (cup run anyone?), but he has K in his corner now!
k: Hey Luc where are you actually based?
luc: What?
k: You talk mostly about Ilya but you’re neither a Boston or an Ottawa fan, so…
luc: I like you K but this is weird. Why do you want to know where I am?
k: Because I’m serious about finding you a guy. I’m pretty active on Reddit and I know a bunch of gay hollanov fans all over
luc: You seriously want to match-make? After you’ve seen my dating life train wreck?
k: I have a good track record. I introduced my high school best friend to her now husband and my college roomie just got engaged to the woman I introduced him to.
luc: … fine. I went to college in Boston where I became an Ilya fan for reasons (hotness reasons in case that wasn’t clear), but I’m back in Chicago now where I’m originally from.
k: College in Boston. Does that mean in Boston proper?
luc: … technically it was Cambridge.
k: Wow. Okay, so you’re a smart cookie
k: Or have rich parents
luc: I was always good in school. My dumpster fire of a personal life kinda makes me doubt I’m a smart cookie lol
k: Okay, Harvard boy. So Chicago based. What are you looking for in a guy?
luc: I mean, hockey is a plus but not a must. I like a guy who can make me laugh. And I like someone I can be homey with. I like to go out occasionally, but I’m not a big party guy. Give me a pub and a beer over a rave any day. I’m a cat person but a dog wouldn’t be a deal breaker. Family is important to me, so he’d have to be down for Sunday dinner.
k: That sounds doable. Do you have a type physically?
luc: I mean, I think Ilya Rozanov is one of the hottest guys in the world, so…
k: lol I get that but aim lower
luc: 😂
k: But maybe someone tall and athletic?
luc: Yeah, but I don’t mind if he’s a little soft around the edges. Like a six pack is nice to look at but not that snuggly.
k: Strong and snuggly, funny, animal lover, and family guy, got it.
luc: Not gonna lie, I appreciate it, but I haven’t had a lot of luck, and I’ve tried several dating apps.
k: Which is why we’re not trying a dating apps. So, anything I can tell prospective dates about you besides that you’re a hockey fan with an Ivy League degree?
luc: Well, I’m not the most athletic guy in the world but I go to the gym and I like to hike when it’s warm enough. I’m 26, I’m okay, looks-wise, 5’9’’, brown hair. It’s mostly annoying because it’s kinda floofy. Oh, and I have glasses.
k: Oh, so I’m getting hot nerd vibes here.
luc: Hah! Not so sure on the hot part, but clearly I get some dates. Even when they’re bad...
k: Right, hence the need to fix that. Any other preferences I should know about? You don’t have to tell me obviously.
luc: Lol. Well I’m a vers bottom, so unless you hook me up with a whiny bottom, I’m good.
k: Okay, I can work with this!
Two days later
k: 312 - xxx - xxx
luc: ???
k: His name is Aron, he’s 28, he works at a bank. He doesn’t play but he loves hockey, became a Hollanov fan for gay reasons over the summer, but he also supports Columbus because he went to OSU. Moved to Chicago two years ago for work and is looking for a serious relationship.
luc: Oh wow, you really didn’t waste any time.
k: Told you.
luc: Alright, will text him now.
One day later
luc: So how well do you know this guy, K?
k: We chat on Reddit, why?
luc: He’s very particular about food. Finding a restaurant to go to is not easy.
k: I remember he went on an anti mushroom rant once but I thought that was a joke.
luc: idk. We’ll see how it goes. Can’t be worse than any of my other sad dating attempts this year lol
Chapter End Notes
Next chapter we'll be back to Ilya's shenanigans. After all, he needs to hate on the metros some more...
Chapter 12
Chapter Summary
Ilya Rozanov breaks the internet hating on the Metros. (And so does everyone else.)
Chapter Notes
Additional warning for mentions of someone having used a slur off-screen in this chapter. And yes, we’re coming back to hate on the homophobes some more.
Hot hockey@themissionislife
Playing Montreal today and you know what, it’s what they deserve for how they treated Hollander #HockeyIsForEveryone #MontrealIsOverParty
[picture] Inside of the San Francisco arena, a fan holding up a sign. The left side reads “Love Is Love” above the rainbow flag. The right side has the Montreal Metros’ logo crossed out in red, reading “unless it’s the Metros”.
BayBoy@sfbayboy
Look at our first line! They said we’d be cooked without Meyers and yet we’re destroying Montreal
|
Jules 🏒@buffaloblood
Lol destroying Montreal is currently not that hard. Even our fuckass team beat them 4-2 last week.
|
BayBoy@sfbayboy
True but we’re also still in it for the playoffs. Kirby really stepped up as starting center and Meyers can get fucked.
Gay For Hockey @sfgayhockey
Such karma that Meyers was traded to Toronto.
|
at the golden gates@baycityroller
Yeah seems like they wanted to refill their asshole quota after Kent went to jail
|
Paul@meyersstan47
I mean he did apologize.
|
Gay For Hockey @sfgayhockey
That generic PR bullshit? Yeah Meyers can get fucked and freeze to death in Toronto for all I care
|
Hot hockey@themissionislife
Same. Remember Rozanov’s reaction to the trade announcement when asked? Hate to admit it, but that was pretty hot.
|
Gay For Hockey @sfgayhockey
Idk Hollander’s glare of death in the background was pretty good too.
|
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
They’re the #FirstHusbandsOfHockey for a reason
[gif] Ilya Roznov and Shane Hollander in a post-game interview. Ilya is shirtless and smirking while Shane is glaring in the background.
|
Gay For Hockey @sfgayhockey
Ottawa’s line-up with Hollanov and Barrett is truly the greed they talk about in the bible. Not only do they have three out queer players, they’re all hot too
|
Hot hockey@themissionislife
So true. When is it our turn???
anna81@rozanovdefender81
My king Ilya Rozanov exposing homophobes and getting them traded to shit teams, you know that’s right 🥰
|
Hot hockey@themissionislife
I will never abandon my team, but Rozanov is quickly becoming one of my favorite players.
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Yessss. Here, have a highlight video of Roz being the most chaotic bisexual king http://youtub…
|
Hot hockey@themissionislife
Okay holy shit I’m in love now?
Quoted Tweet
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Yessss. Here, have a highlight video of Roz being the most chaotic bisexual king http://youtub…
maple@5holesinthefence
Okay, I’m so confused, what did Ilya have to do with this Toronto guy? Everyone talking about it and I’m so lost 😭
|
It was rare I was there 🏒@taybemothering
Omg girl, so Meyers played for SF and he called Ilya a slur on the ice and Ilya beat him for it but also talked about it in an interview so SF traded Meyers to Toronto which is also a super problematic team where Barrett used to play, so that’s why everyone hates Meyers and Toronto
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Beat him up? I keep forgetting that’s an actual thing in hockey omg!
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
The fighting can be really hot. Especially when Ilya is beating up homophobes.
[video, 20 sec] Clip from the Ottawa - San Francisco game earlier in the season. On the ice, Ilya Rozanov and Justin Meyers are battling for the puck in the corner. Rozanov skates away with it and Meyers yells something after him. Rozanov abruptly turns and drops his gloves. Meyers also drops his gloves. They start fighting and Meyers loses his helmet. Rozanov’s fist connects with his face and there is visible blood splatter. Other players skate up to them, but the Ottawa players each grab a San Francisco player and no one gets involved while Rozanov beats on Meyers until he’s lying on the ice. San Francisco’s number 67 and Ottawa’s number 39 have their arms around each others’ waists and are watching the fight while chatting.
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Omg that is brutal!
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Well he did call Roz the f-slur
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Well he got off easy then
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
I usually don’t cheer for other teams because rooting for Boston and the Cens is already too much, but I’m at a hockey bar and we’re cheering every time the Admirals are scoring on Toronto tonight.
|
luc@puckrabbit
The way New York keeps beating on Meyers oh he’s not been forgiven and I’m here for it.
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
New York destroying Toronto, Montreal getting beaten by SF in the same night while Ottawa is dominating Chicago, oh it’s a good night for the queers
|
spencer🏒@pumasforlife
Hey why are we catching strays? Chicago has been super supportive of the players who came out and has a big pride night thing
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
That’s true. But I just want the queer teams winning so….
|
spencer🏒@pumasforlife
Fair. As a gay hockey fan myself, I can’t even blame you
Pucky 🏒@guardinggoals
As a Toronto fan I need to go on record and say that we did not fucking want Meyers.
|
A Tatester@kentisgoat
Yeah he’s playing like shit
|
Pucky 🏒@guardinggoals
… that’s not why we don’t want him. But you’re a Kent supporter so…
spencer🏒@pumasforlife
God the way I fucking hate the Metros
|
Nate@metrossssssss24
You played Ottawa tonight???
|
spencer🏒@pumasforlife
Yeah and we lost because they have Rozanov AND Hollander now.
|
Windy in the City@Chitownpumas
For real though. The metros are a giant bag of homophobes and they made it everyone’s problem
|
now suffering metros fan@allezlesmetro
Okay but it’s mostly the org and the team. Most fans wanted to keep Hollander
|
Windy in the City@Chitownpumas
Wasn’t the press vicious to him after he tripped?
|
now suffering metros fan@allezlesmetro
Well I mean he did trip in game 7 of the playoffs. But most fans still wanted to keep him because we knew he was the one carrying the team on his shoulders
|
Nate@metrossssssss24
Well now he’s carrying fucking Ottawa and we’re all gonna have to live with the humiliation when the fucking Centaurs with the cup
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Excuse me that is Ilya Rozanov erasure
|
now suffering metros fan@allezlesmetro
He’s been in Ottawa for three years and no cup
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
He joined a shit team. Hayes came at the same time, Barrett and Haas only came last year. And they did make the playoffs. Like Ilya rebuilt that team and yeah Shane is the cherry on top but my man did the hard work
|
Nate@metrossssssss24
Honestly watching Rozanov and Hollander on the power play I’m not sure how many of the other players they’d actually need…
still in our dynasty era@metrotraveling
What a brutal roadtrip. Can’t believe we lost all four games, especially against Buffalo and now San Francisco too.
|
calvin@metrolife
The Mission has been a consistently good team through the last few years, they always made the playoffs.
|
still in our dynasty era@metrotraveling
Yeah, but they had to scramble after trading Meyers and tonight, we did not make them scramble.
|
Cay🏒@montrealgenial
Told you guys we’d be fucked without Hollander.
|
calvin@metrolife
Oh fuck off.
yes that rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
Retweeted
Hot hockey@themissionislife
Playing Montreal today and you know what, it’s what they deserve for how they treated Hollander #HockeyIsForEveryone #MontrealIsOverParty
[picture] Inside of the San Francisco arena, a fan holding up a sign reading Love Is Love above the rainbow flag. Next to it the Montreal Metros’ logo is crossed out in red, reading “unless it’s the Metros”.
Hot hockey@themissionislife
Okay why are my notifications blowing up?
|
Hot hockey@themissionislife
Holy shit
Roz lover@themanthatyouare
Ilya Rozanov the man that you are
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
It has a great ring to it
#LoveIsLoveUnlessItsTheMetros
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Ilya being messy on main, love that for us #LoveIsLoveUnlessItsTheMetros
|
k@hollanova
Yeah, it’s not the high road but honestly I can’t blame him. The Metros deserve every public shaming they get.
josh@81reasonstostan
Lol Rozy never letting go of that grudge against Montreal, he’s even retweeting shade from the locker room #LoveIsLoveUnlessItsTheMetros
|
tony@hollanderer24
He’s so real for that though, the way they treated Shane
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Oh for sure. And like we don’t even know what it was like behind the scenes but I bet it was vicious
|
tony@hollanderer24
Yeah the press was bad enough but then zero support from the organization? A fucking disgrace. Like even if you’re not down with the gays, which is bad enough, how are you so stupid to let your best player walk???
|
now suffering metros fan@allezlesmetro
You know as a Montreal fan I’ll give you that. Their behavior was atrocious.
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Then why are you still a fan???
|
now suffering metros fan@allezlesmetro
It’s in my blood I fear
SportsNet ✅@sportsnet
After a 3-1 win in Chicago, Ottawa Captain Ilya Rozanov comments on the Metros’ four game loss streak in post-game interview. #OttawaCens #MontrealMetros
[video, 45 sec]
SportsNet Reporter: Right, that was a great powerplay with Hollander. Final question, you just tweeted from the locker room about the Metros’ game in San Francisco. You retweeted a photo that has since gone viral, expressing support for the queer community, except the Metros. Would you like to comment on why you choose to engage with that post?
Rozanov: Is obvious, no? No love for the Metros.
SportsNet Reporter: Right. But the queer community—
Rozanov (makes impatient hand gestures): Obviously I support the queer community everywhere. Is my community after all. The poster supports the queer community too, it just said that while there should be love everywhere, the Metros, as an organization, are exception.
SportsNet Reporter: So you’re saying—
Rozanov: I am saying the Metros are a bad team, let their best player go, are playing very badly and are not getting love from the fans and should not get love from anyone. Okay, thank you.
evmagda81@magda81
Ilya Rozanov, saying what we all were thinking. #MontrealIsOverParty
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
i always wanna climb ilya like a tree and lick him all over, but even more so when he’s defending his man like this! 🤤🔥
|
mildred@shanestiddies
oh and you just know shane is going to reward him for this tonight. i bet they will both be limping tomorrow! and have bruises 🤤💦
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
Okay you’re the last person I thought would think they switch
|
mildred@shanestiddies
lmao no my boy is the bottom of all time but tops can get sex injuries too
blue m&m@kikialacarte
As a member of Montreal’s queer community, I absolutely believe in no love for the Metros.
Also I finally told my family I’m done with the Metros and showed up to Sunday dinner in an Ottawa jersey. #MontrealIsOverParty
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Omg and????
|
blue m&m@kikialacarte
My dad ignored it but my mom gave me an extra large portion of dessert😂
|
Cay🏒@montrealgenial
One day, I’ll be as strong as you are. Have fun with the new colors!
|
❤️🖤 m&m@kikialacarte
Oh good call. Username changed lol. And I believe in you Cay! You can join me!
anna81@rozanovdefender81
That reporter trying to accuse Ilya of not standing with the community? HIS fucking community? Are you kidding me?
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Right? The grand marshal of Ottawa Pride? Be so for real
Ottawa Centaurs ✅@OttawaCentaurs
The Ottawa Centaurs will always stand for #LoveIsLove. Tonight we stand with the entire queer community! And our Captain especially 🏒🏳️🌈
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Always proud to stand with this team and our Captain. #LoveIsLove #MontrealIsOverParty
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
The official Centaurs account joining Ilya in being petty on main? We are truly the hottest team with the hottest Captain and the hottest alternate captain.
joleeeen@futurehollanovdaughter
Father standing up for other father is really the thing I needed in my life and on my feed
Chad69@metros4life
that rusian asshole needs to take my teams name out of his fucking mouth! disgrace!!
|
Ben@rinkwriter
Yes, the Metros are a disgrace. We all agree. Now sit down and shut the fuck up, the grownups are talking.
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
Another video for the Ilya hating on the Metros file, love that for us.
|
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
Another beautiful day ending in y
luc@puckrabbit
Wdym Ilya Rozanov fights dragons for his husband and my last date was thirty minutes late and didn’t bother to remember my name? (thanks for that @hollanova)
|
k@hollanova
Seriously? Ugh, I should have known the whole hating mushrooms thing was a red flag. But don’t give up yet!
Chapter 13
Chapter Summary
Ilya Rozanov breaks the internet by accidentally revealing his and Shane’s first date. (Well, technically, Harris reveals it, but he doesn’t know that…)
Chapter Notes
Sorry about the posting delay, but life happened. Updates might be a little more irregular for a while, but we’re still happily plucking away at this fic and the prequel! And the chapters are also getting longer, hopefully that’ll make up for it a bit.
Centaurs✅
[video, 1 min 40 sec]
The camera pans over the Centaurs’ practice rink. On one side, a group of players practices passing, on the other side Shane Hollander keeps shooting pucks on goal with the Centaurs’ new back-up goalie Noah Eriksson trying to block them. The camera zooms in on Ilya Rozanov watching Hollander with a fond smile while feeding him new pucks.
Cut to Rozanov skating up to Hollander and bringing him a water bottle which for some reason makes Hollander blush and Rozanov smirk.
Cut to a sequence of Rozanov and Hollander passing the puck back and forth between them while skating down the ice at dizzying speed, half the team just staring at them shaking their heads. Noah Eriksson looks like he’s witnessing a miracle.
Cut to Hollander, Haas and Patrik Holmberg going up against the Centaurs first defense pair, Evan Dykstra and Nick Chouinard and Noah Eriksson in goal. Rozanov is watching intently from the bench. As Hollander scores a beautiful goal, he yells, “fuck yes, that’s my husband!”
Cut to Rozanov and Hollander in practice jerseys at the face-off. They’re waiting for the coach to drop the puck, there’s some hold-up, Hollander says something inaudible and Rozanov breaks out laughing. Rozanov puts his stick to the ice exaggeratedly, Hollander follows.
“A lot of intensity!” Rozanov shouts.
Hollander laughs and skates backward. So does Rozanov.
Rozanov counts loudly, “One, two, three,” they skate toward each other and put their sticks down in sync. “One more time,” Rozanov shouts.
Hollander laughs and skates backward again.
Harris (from offscreen) “What is happening?”
On the ice, the coach looks on bemused as Rozanov and Hollander are shaking, laughing, and are doing their skating backward, countdown, skating toward each other dance again. This time Hollander is yelling “A lot of intensity!” while Rozanov almost bowls over laughing and says “No, I promise I can do it.”
“No, you f****** can’t,” Hollander shouts. “You couldn’t back then and you can’t now.”
Harris (from offscreen) “What?”
On the ice, Rozanov shouts, “I was nervous! Was first date!”
“F*** off, that was not our first date,” Hollander yells back. “Just because you made one phone call.”
“Two!” Rozanov shouts, outraged, “I had to make two phone calls.”
Harris (from offscreen, completely baffled) “First date?”
Cut to Hollander and Rozanov at the face off, the puck drops.
Cut to Eriksson standing next to Wyatt Hayes, both of them decked out in their goalie gear but helmets off.
“Good practice, kid,” Hayes says.
Eriksson beams. “Thanks, man.”
From offscreen, Hollander yells, “you f****** a******.”
Rozanov shouts back, “I love you too, moye svidaniye.”
Eriksson looks baffled. “Are they always like this?”
Hayes puts a hand on his shoulder. “Oh, kid. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”
[Caption] Welcome to the Centaurs @noaherikssoncens! We’re sorry for these two taking over, get used to it. Practice #Cens style: Dealing with inside jokes from our C and A.
fay_in_my_hollanov_era Welcome @noaherikssoncens to the Centaurs! And yes, they are always like this. It’s why we love them. And why Harris is getting grey hairs.
joleeen look at my fathers practicing with the new goalie!
ottawa_for_life Eriksson looking good out there. He’s going to be a good relief for Hayes in easy match-ups. It’s only his second season, but you can never start too early building up new talent, and the kid’s getting the best goalie training possible with Hollzy and Roz
|
riding_with_the_centaurs Roz isn’t really training though 👀
|
censenthusiast Too busy making heart eyes at his hubby lol
noah_eriksson_stan Sooo happy my baby got traded to the Centaurs 🥰
maple_5holesinthefence Okay someone needs to tell me what Ilya calls Shane????
|
anna81rozanov He says moye svidaniye which means my date as in the romantic date way.
|
maple_5holesinthefence Omg that’s hilarious
|
anna81rozanov It is! He actually calls Shane random words in Russian all the time. People were going crazy that he was using romantic nicknames and it’s just random stuff like dishwasher and food bowl. He’s basically using it to test his vocab
|
maple_5holesinthefence Omg that’s so cute and so being a little shit at the same time
|
anna81rozanov Very much Ilya’s brand lol
k.hollanova Still amazed we’re getting shane cursing unfiltered lol
|
mai.first.husbands.of.hockey I know! It’s so wonderful to see him be himself! Also, seeing him like this makes them together make SO much more sense 😀🥰
|
freckleappreciation seeing Shane openly flirt and bicker with his husband and just being so much more relaxed and happy waters my crops, clears my skin and cures my depression. And then it makes me depressed again when I realize how restrained he had to be in Montreal 😭
|
censenthusiast after becoming a Hollzy fan this season I went back and watched a few goal compilations from his Montreal days and even there you can see how much happier he seems these days and how much better he’s vibing with the team. Except for Pike maybe, those two were always tight, but the Cens as a whole are just such a better team.
|
freckleappreciation amen
tyler_h torn between going fuuuuck our team is so fucking good and fuuuuuck hollanov is so adorable together. Like they’re the league’s sleep paralysis demon duo and terrors on the ice but watching them practice together is just giving me heart eyes. Maybe it’s the edible…
|
riding_with_the_centaurs nah I’m feeling the same and I’m sober
|
hr_supremacy okay so I’m not the only one curious about their first date now and Roz’s phone calls?
|
riding_with_the_centaurs Oh definitely not. Just keep watching this comment section, someone from the hollanov fans will figure it out lol
hr_supremacy okay but their skating speed is actually insane. It’s just practice and they’re tearing down the rink like it’s the last second of game seven in the cup final
|
hollanderer24 I too would stare in awe like Noah Eriksson
|
riding_with_the_centaurs I swear to fucking everything we’re getting the cup this year
|
hr_supremacy Don’t fucking jinx it!
|
riding_with_the_centaurs I knocked on wood don’t worry
josh_81reasonstostan Rozy celebrating his husband’s goal in a training session that man is whipped
|
hollanderer24 Tbf it was a pretty sweet goal
hollanov_trash Okay paging our resident hollanov archivist @24 + 81 = ❤️ do we know anything about a water bottle? Like no one blushes just from a water bottle there has to be some lore
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ Not that I know. But there’s definitely a story there for them…
fay_in_my_hollanov_era the true Cens fan experience, being torn between omg it’s so cute that they have all the inside things and omg they’re so fucking good they’re using all their inside things to win games for us 😍
mildred_shanestiddies shane blushing from the water bottle oh you know those two have freaky gym sex
|
81mebaby ilya sweaty and huge after a workout who wouldn’t climb him like a tree???
|
mildred_shanestiddies also the mirrors! like shane has a mirror wall in his cottage gym, you can bet they have them in their house too 👅
|
81mebaby i see your vision bestie and we need cameras installed!
|
k.hollanova come on guys we talked about this.
|
81mebaby a girl can dream! but sorry 🙁
|
mildred_shanestiddies sorry. will try to keep inside voices inside. but it’s hard.
|
81mebaby that’s what he said…
hollanov_trash Guys. Guys guys guyssssss. I just realized something looking back for water bottle things. Do you remember the CCM shoot? That’s the exact pose they’re referencing for their first date!
|
mai.first.husbands.of.hockey You don’t honestly think the 2009 CCM shoot was their first date???
|
hollanov_trash Paging @24 + 81 = ❤️ again
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ okay so even in hollanov circles the whole they were fucking from the start thing is controversial. Most people still think the post 🌹era in 2017 is when they got together. I will say though that with everything we now know I can absolutely believe Ilya manufactured a shared photo shoot to see Shane. Like that man is down bad and probably always was
|
hollanov_trash okay I just looked at the old CCM pictures, and guys, I swear to god that has to be it. Like the pose, the whole intense look, and the instruction of more intensity is exactly what a director would say
|
mai.first.husbands.of.hockey you know what, I want to believe it
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ I always thought they probably hooked up before 2017 and the whole 🌹 thing made them really commit. Like the vibes when they presented at the MLH awards in 2014 were so tense, there was for sure something going in there. Even their first All-Star press conference where Shane jumped in to help Ilya answer a question…
|
hollanov_trash Omg I remember that. The shayden shippers used that forever to prove Shane didn’t like Ilya because he was hogging the questions but Ilya was still struggling with English back then so Shane was helping him
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ Yeah I think so too. There was never anything else from that time, but the CCM commercial reframes the entire timeline honestly
|
mai.first.husbands.of.hockey Okay, this actually…. makes so much sense? Can I ask though, why the rose emoji?
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ Because I do not want to summon her stans. Every time it looks like Shane might have cheated on her, it’s an absolute shitstorm.
|
mai.first.husbands.of.hockey lol fair enough
|
riding_with_the_centaurs I knew you’d guys come through. But also holy fucking shit!!!
Saskatchewan_truther_shilyaisreal this is really just confirmation they were hooking up from the start.
|
hollanov_trash How is this confirmation if the CCM shoot was their first date? That was two years after Saskatchewan
|
Saskatchewan_truther_shilyaisreal both juniors in Saskatchewan and in Ottawa and the draft were events they both had to attend. The CCM shoot was the first time they saw each other where they chose to be there. I always thought it was CCM’s idea to feature them together but i can absolutely see ilya making this happen for them
|
hollanov_trash oh yeah Ilya is so down bad, he for sure tried to see Shane whenever he could
|
k.hollanova I can maybe see the CCM shoot, but there’s no way they were hooking up at Juniors. Those tournaments are crawling with personnel to keep the hockey talents in line plus Shane’s parents were there. I really doubt they had the time and opportunity to sneak away, never mind they’d never talked before. Same goes for the draft.
|
Saskatchewan_truther_shilyaisreal well it was love at first sight so I’m sure they found a way!
ev_magdalena Okay but Ilya admitting he was nervous during their first date? Help that’s so cute!
sofia45 Posts like this always make me go WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL! Shane could have come to Boston! Not stayed with the fuckass Metros! And no one needed shitty years in Ottawa!
|
ottawa_for_life Hey now, no insulting our division leading team right under our post
|
sofia45 Well I know you’re good now, but my point is this could be Boston right now!
|
ottawa_for_life Yeah, but your goalie is no Wyatt Hayes, so….
|
sofia45 Zimmerman is a great goalie actually, but no one is Hayes.
|
hr_supremacy Just like no one is Hollanov
|
olly.is.waitingforanothercup Seriously the Ottawa Cens is the greed they talk about in the bible
calvin_metrolife flirting during practice, they’re so unprofessional
|
riding_with_the_centaurs And yet, we’re leading the division while you guys are in seventh place 🤷
|
calvin_metrolife rebuilding a team takes time, especially when your star center is out on injury a lot
|
freckleappreciation if you hadn’t built the team around your previous star center, you wouldn’t fall apart so badly now. But noooo the team was always more than just Shane Hollander, right? Right???
|
freckleappreciation right???
|
freckleappreciation yeah, thought so.
anna81rozanov Do ya’ll remember when Ilya was always scowling and kinda scary? Yeah, me neither…
|
pony_raiders_love He really went from Russian terror to husband goals.
ottawa_for_life Okay, we really have moved on too fast from how lethal Triple H has become. The Haas - Hollander - Holmberg line has been playing together for less than a full season and while Hollander is an incredible talent, it’s only Haas’s second and Holmberg’s third season in the MLH. Haas was already promising last year, but the way both of these young players have developed with Hollander is incredible.
|
hr_supremacy It’s especially impressive against Dykstra and Chouinard. Those guys have become such a wall the last few years, seeing Hollander lead his line around them is so impressive.
|
ottawa_for_life Oh, yeah. We talk about the rookies so much, but Dyks and Chouchou were like average defenders when Roz joined the Centaurs. And now they’re just one of the best D-pairs in the league
|
josh_81reasonstostan Training against Ilya Rozanov every week for a few years will do that. When Rozy left Boston, the Raiders also had a top tier defense.
|
pony_raiders_love Oh yeah, remember how St-Simon once said that Roz looked at him and Carmy and told them he wouldn’t be mad at them if they couldn’t stop him from scoring in practice, he’d just be disappointed.
|
josh_81reasonstostan I need to go looking for that interview, St-Simon looked haunted lol
|
pony_raiders_love Well it worked! Ottawa’s defense is killer this season.
|
ottawa_for_life hell yeah we are! And with Hazy in goal it’s no wonder we have all the shutouts
luc_puckrabbit Wdym Ilya Rozanov was ready with a water bottle for his husband and my date spilled his drink over me and didn’t even apologize?
|
k.hollanova seriously??? I thought he’d be okay but that’s just rude.
|
luc_puckrabbit He tried to blame it on the waitress... But don’t worry about it, I told you my dating life is hopeless.
|
k.hollanova What a dick. In this house we respect service workers. And we’re not giving up yet!
Chapter 14
Chapter Summary
Ilya (and Shane and Rose and Svetlana and Yuna) break the Internet after pictures of Ilya and Rose at lunch are posted.
Chapter Notes
Additional warnings for some misogynistic and biphobic language.
TMZ✅@tmz
New boyfriend alert? Rose Landry spotted in LA with mystery man!
[picture] Rose Landry entering a restaurant. She’s wearing jeans and a simple top. A man is right behind her, holding the door open. He’s wearing a dark ballcap, basketball shorts and a sleeveless shirt. There are the edges of a tattoo visible on his arm holding the door.
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Mystery man? Show some respect that’s Ilya fucking Rozanov!
|
Super Paul@xsquadfan92
Lol who?
|
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
MLH goat, Cup winner, MVP, multiple Rocket Richard and Art Ross winner and number one draft in the most competitive year ever.
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Wait, why was 2009 the most competitive year? I’m still catching up on all the hockey lore 😭
|
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
No worries, it’s a lot! 2009 had Shane too. Like I don’t even remember who else was drafted that year just going up against Shane automatically makes it the most competitive year ever lol
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Oh that makes sense! They really were made for each other 🥰
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
the most bitable biceps in the world 🥵
[picture] Zoomed in shot of the TMZ picture focused on Ilya Rozanov’s arm with the muscles flexing as he’s holding the door open.
queenlandry@whatsinaname
Okay not to defend the tmz shit hole but how do you guys recognize Rozanov here? There’s the back of the guy, a bit of shoulder and a ball cap.
|
anna@rozanovdefender81
The curls are the right color and you can see half a tattoo of a loon on his arm and trust me everyone in hockey knows that tattoo
TMZ✅@tmz
Is Rose Landry making a play for another hockey hunk? The actress was getting cozy at lunch with MLH Ottawa Centaurs captain Ilya Rozanov.
[picture] Zoomed in picture through a restaurant’s window, showing the blurry outline of Ilya Rozanov and Rose Landry sitting in a corner booth.
|
queenlandry@whatsinaname
You fucking vultures, Rozanov is married to Rose’s best friend, she would never!
|
Dani 👑🌹@landrylover
I cannot believe that it’s 2022 and Rose still can’t have a meal with a man without the press claiming she’s sleeping with him. Especially when he’s married!!!
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
The idea that Rose and Ilya are having an affair when she was at Shane and Ilya’s wedding. When they hang out together and are clearly all friends, omg. TMZ we know you’re not Pulitzer winners but this is low even for you #fuckTMZ
[picture] Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov in their wedding suits. Rose Landry is standing between them in a gorgeous blue dress. All three are smiling widely into the camera.
[picture] Rose Landry at an LA - Ottawa game, wearing a custom HOLLANOV jersey.
raiders_JD@raidingwiththeraiders
Lol Rozanov would hit that
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Lol no he wouldn’t. That man is whipped. And faithful.
|
raiders_JD@raidingwiththeraiders
Dude she’s Rose Landry. And Roz is an asshole and he’s always been a player, there’s no way he’s giving up pussy for Hollander.
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Dude he’s married to thee Shane Hollander. And I think it’s well established that Rozy is not an asshole off the ice and in fact catastrophically down bad for his husband
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Also you can fuck right off with the biphobic bullshit.
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Seriously, that man chose monogamy with his whole chest. But ofc it has to be about him no longer getting to sleep with women when he’s obviously, willingly not sleeping with anyone but his husband, as if bisexual people always have to sleep with at least one person of each gender 🙄
Saskatchewan truther@shilyaisreal
Okay but where is Shane? And why is Ilya getting lunch with Rose without him???
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Shane’s injured. He’s sitting out this road trip.
|
Saskatchewan truther@shilyaisreal
Okay but it still feels weird she’s getting lunch with Ilya without him? Like that’s her husband’s friend, not her friend.
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Omg relax. Ilya and Shane have been together forever and Shane has been friends with Rose for years. So ofc now they’re all friends.
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Are you seriously implying Ilya is cheating on Shane???
|
Saskatchewan truther@shilyaisreal
No of course not! I’m just questioning her motives!
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Let’s try it again. Repeat after me: They. Are. Friends.
Dani 👑🌹@landrylover
A hollanov stan implying Rose is a homewrecker after Shane cheated on her, can’t make this up 🙄
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Omg Shane did NOT cheat on her. They wouldn’t be friends otherwise and Rose has been nothing but supportive. You guys need to let that go.
TMZ✅@tmz
Rose Landry looking cozy with ex-boyfriend’s hockey husband Ilya Rozanov leaving LA restaurant.
[picture] Rose Landry leaving a restaurant. She’s wearing jeans and a simple top and is laughing. Ilya Rozanov is following her out. He’s no longer wearing a dark ballcap, instead his wild head of curls is visible. His hands are raised gesticulating and there is a prominent tattoo of a bird on his upper arm.
queenlandry@whatsinaname
Okay I knew Hollander was cute from when Rose dated him but holy shit his husband is also so fine? Are all men in hockey this hot? Do I need to start watching hockey???
|
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
Lol no they’re not but you should definitely start watching hockey!!!
|
cens era baby!@barrettsbabe
That is Troy Barrett erasure!
[picture] Centaurs forward Troy Barrett posing shirtless in the locker room with a giant dog in his arms.
|
queenlandry@whatsinaname
👀👀👀
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Cannot believe the internet is learning that Ilya Rozanov is hot from him getting lunch with Rose Landry and not from being a hockey god
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
I mean I’m a hockey fan and I can believe that…
|
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
we need ilya to do more ad campaigns… in his underwear…
calvin@metrolife
Rozanov is such a shitty captain ditching his team to go off to have a paparazzi photo op with a movie star
|
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
They’re friends? They’re obviously trying not to get papped? Also the Cens just won the game against LA??? I’d say you gotta stop being so obsessed with our team, but considering how shitty yours is doing right now I’d probably also look for a distraction…
Rose Landry✅@roselandry
Lunch with my second favorite hockey player!
[picture] Rose and Ilya sitting in a restaurant booth. They are both making exaggerated model faces and Rose is holding up bunny fingers behind Ilya’s head.
|
Shane Hollander✅@shanehollander24
❤️
|
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
I’m happy being second favorite player since I am the best player
|
Rose Landry✅@roselandry
Sorry, Ilya, I love you, but you’re also the second best hockey player 😘
|
Shane Hollander✅@shanehollander24
❤️
|
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
I will never share my favorite restaurants with you again Landry
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Lol Shane just answering with hearts while his husband and his best friend are beefing on main
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
The difference between Shane and Ilya online will never not be hilarious! At least he didn’t do thumbs ups though 😅
Hot hockey@themissionislife
Oh look at me I’m Shane Hollander, I’m the best hockey player in the MLH, I have three Cups, a fat ass, I’m married to Ilya Rozanov and Rose Landry is my best friend, girl fuck you
mildred@shanestiddies
tiddies so fine he reeled in the ilya rozanov and the rose landry and then kept them both as his husband and his best friend my boy’s game is so fucking unmatched
Chibi stuff@chibis4life
Ofc this had to be done! 🐰
[picture] Chibi drawing of Ilya dressed in a Centaurs jersey, floppy bunny ears sticking out of his curls.
|
evmagda81@magda81
Fuck, how fast are you? It’s not even been an hour!
|
Chibi stuff@chibis4life
😎
BBQ with Bood✅@ZaneBoodram
The way I’m saving this tweet to pull it out whenever Roz’s ego gets too big
Quoted Tweet
Rose Landry✅@roselandry
Sorry, Ilya, I love you, but you’re also the second best hockey player
Hazy✅@WyattHayes
The queen has spoken!
Quoted Tweet
Rose Landry✅@roselandry
Sorry, Ilya, I love you, but you’re also the second best hockey player
Luca Haas ✅@LucaHaas
Sorry, Cap, but this comes directly from Thee Rose Landry, so it must be true
Quoted Tweet
Rose Landry✅@roselandry
Sorry, Ilya, I love you, but you’re also the second best hockey player
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
Bag skates for all of you traitors @OttawaCentaurs
josh@81reasonstostan
Lmao not the Cens dragging Rozy on main
shane is love@censenthusiast
Oh this team is so cute together, such good vibes!
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Best team on and off the ice!
#1 bunny fan@lucahaasimylove
Oh, my baby is learning how to chirp! They grow up so fast 😭
puckinggreat@alphadog
Lol as if chicks know anything about hockey. Also the best player is still Dallas Kent.
Quoted Tweet
Rose Landry✅@roselandry
Sorry, Ilya, I love you, but you’re also the second best hockey player
|
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
Only a man who has never talked to a woman would think that. Very sad for you. But you also think Kent is good… And Landry is correct, Hollander is best player 🏆🏆🏆🏒
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Omg the sexist asshole made Ilya so mad he finally admitted out loud that Shane’s the best player 😂
Ben@rinkwriter
Claiming Kent is a good player is a choice. A very bad choice from a complete idiot. WTF?
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Get his ass Roz!
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
For everyone who keeps asking why I still stan this man LOOK AT HIM!!!!
Quoted Tweet
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
Only a man who has never talked to a woman would think that. Very sad for you. But you also think Kent is good… And Landry is correct, Hollander is best player 🏆🏆🏆🏒
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
He’s just such a good egg!
Nari@cookingforcens
Real talk: there’s so much misogyny in hockey, from gatekeeping women from jobs to underpaying female players to all the horrible misogyny and sexual assaults. It’s one of the things that made me stay away from hockey for a long time. So glad that the Cens have such an outspoken ally in their captain ♥️
|
cens era baby!@barrettsbabe
Rozanov has been great! Troy Barrett has also been really outspoken, especially against sexual assault, you should check out his IG!
Troy Barrett ✅@Troy_B
One look at the PWLH and you know that gender doesn’t have anything to do with skills, knowledge, or passion when it comes to hockey. Same goes for the people working for the teams, all the journalists covering the sport, and the fans in the stands and watching at home. #hockeyisforeveryone
|
cens era baby!@barrettsbabe
Troy Barret once more being amazingly supportive and using his platform right! #hockeyisforeveryone
|
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
Well said, man!
|
Beeatrice🐝@buzzing4cens
Love being a Cens fan 🥰
Roz lover@themanthatyouare
Ilya Rozanov the man that you are
queenlandry@whatsinaname
I am officially an Ilya Rozanov stan now
|
Dani 👑🌹@landrylover
Well, he is apparently one of us
luc@puckrabbit
Wdym Ilya Rozanov publicly declares his husband the better hockey player and my date needed to prove he was better than me at fucking pool. I mean he was, but he kept bringing it up for the entire rest of the date 🙄
|
k@hollanova
Okay I’m honestly starting to doubt my set-up skills. Gonna have to go back to the drawing board here
|
luc@puckrabbit
Lol don’t worry, I told you it’s hopeless. Redownloading grindr as we speak
Shane Hollander ✅@shanehollander24
Hockey is for everyone. Enjoy thirty seconds with three amazingly knowledgeable women talking about my favorite topic.
[video, 30 sec] A backyard decorated with lanterns. People milling around the grass. The camera shows Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov wearing their wedding suits talking to Cliff Marleau and Zane Boodram. Then the camera pans over to the side where Yuna Hollander is refilling the champagne glasses of Rose Landry and Svetlana Vetrova. All three are wearing beautiful dresses. Svetlana looks at her phone and curses in Russian. “Everything okay?” Rose asks. “The Raiders just signed Colter,” Svetlana announces. Yuna almost drops the bottle. “What?” The next twenty seconds, they discuss Colter’s on ice performance during the last season and compare his playstyle with the Raiders’ roster.
|
tony@hollanderer24
Holy fucking shit. They basically predicted that Colter would crash and burn with the Raiders when more than half the hockey pundits declared Boston’s return to glory with him on the first line???
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Isn’t he playing second or third line these days?
|
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
Yeah. He’s not even getting fifteen minutes of ice time most games. We always knew Yuna Hollander knows hockey, but that is almost prophetic!
Ben@rinkwriter
Still remember when I got dragged for not agreeing with the Colter trade. Cannot believe I was on the same wavelength as Yuna Hollander. And Rose Landry! I had no idea she was so into hockey.
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Also don’t forget Svetlana Vetrova!
|
Ben@rinkwriter
Well, Vetrova has been around hockey all her life, so her knowledge is not surprising even though her analysis is very impressive!
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Not Shane subtweeting a sexist pig by dropping thirty seconds of his mom, his ex-girlfriend, and his husband’s best friend absolutely ruling puck talk, I love him so much 🥰
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
Omg WHO is this queen talking puck with Rose Landry and Yuna Hollander? I think I’m in love.
|
anna81@rozanovdefender81
That’s Svetlana Vetrova! She’s a close friend of Ilya and the daughter of the Russian goaltender Sergei Vetrov who played for the Raiders in the nineties.
|
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
Does she work in hockey? If not she fucking should!
shane is love@censenthusiast
Oh I love seeing other women be so enthusiastic about hockey and getting lifted up by the men in the game!
❤️🖤 m&m@kikialacarte
Happier every day I decided to follow Shane to the Cens, what a team ♥️ Also three gorgeous women talking puck makes my sapphic heart all weak…
Dani 👑🌹@landrylover
I know nothing about hockey, but my queen absolutely slays talking about it!
|
queenlandry@whatsinaname
I watched a couple of intro vids when she was dating Shane, but her knowledge is absolutely next level. So impressive!
Will LP ✅@WillLaPoint
I was supposed to get a clip of Roz and Hollzy, instead I learned that Shane is actually not the most impressive Hollander.
Quoted Tweet
Shane Hollander ✅@shanehollander24
Hockey is for everyone. Enjoy thirty seconds with three amazingly knowledgeable women talking about my favorite topic.
[video, 30 sec] A backyard decorated with lanterns. People milling around the grass...
|
Bergy ✅@PatrikHolmberg
Not arguing that point, but let’s not pretend you didn’t change focus because of Rose Landry…
|
Will LP ✅@WillLaPoint
dude!!!
|
Will LP ✅@WillLaPoint
As if you didn’t get a picture with Svetlana!
|
Bergy ✅@PatrikHolmberg
Dude!!!!!
|
BBQ with Bood ✅@ZaneBoodram
Children stop fighting on main.
joleeeen@futurehollanovdaughter
Omg, these three women are amazing. Can they be my aunts???
|
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
Technically Yuna would be your grandmother. Which feels disrespectful because she’s so much more than just Shane’s mom, she is just universal Mother. Rose and Svetlana absolutely have wine aunt energy.
josh@81reasonstostan
I need those three to host a hockey podcast because holy shit they’re amazing.
|
cens trash@tyler_h
Fr three hot women talking puck? Count me in.
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Dude Yuna Hollander is Shane Hollander’s mother!
|
cens trash@tyler_h
Dude I said what I said. That is a beautiful woman.
|
josh@81reasonstostan
Okay fair. Respectfully, of course.
|
cens trash@tyler_h
Of course yeah like super respectfully!
Marty 🏒@centaursfan72
With all those guests at the wedding, were any of the discussions NOT about hockey? Because that’s a lot of hockey talent in one backyard!
|
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
Well it was like the hockey wedding of the century lol
Rose Landry✅@roselandry
Throwback to the best conversation I had at Shane and Ilya’s wedding.
[picture] Candid shot of Yuna Hollander, Rose Landry, and Svetlana Vetrova standing together talking in a lantern decorated backyard. Svetlana is gesturing with a vodka bottle in her hand while Rose is gripping a champagne bottle. They’re both watching Yuna, who is holding a water bottle in one hand and holding her phone in the other, looking something up.
[picture] Yuna, Rose, and Svetlana posing for the camera with their arms around each other smiling brightly. Svetlana is now holding the water bottle, while Yuna is holding the champagne bottle. The vodka bottle sits empty on the grass in front of them.
|
yes that Rozanov ✅@ilya_81rozanov
My three favorite ladies ♥️
|
Shane Hollander ✅@shanehollander24
♥️
ev_magdalena
Absolute legends, all of them 😍😍😍
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
I know this is the bare minimum but it’s so good seeing men from such a misogynistic sport uplifting women so much.
|
k@hollanova
I’ve loved hockey my whole life but I’ve always been hesitant to stan players, too many have shown their true colors. Couldn’t stay away from Hollanov though, and they’ve never made me regret it!
Chapter 15
Chapter Summary
Ilya Rozanov breaks the Internet by once again hating on the Montreal Metros (and so does everyone else).
Chapter Notes
We’re still not done working through our anger, so have some more Metros bashing and Ilya being down bad for Shane. Shocking, we know.
maple@5holesinthefence
First ever hockey game! A giant thank you to Radio Ottawa @radio1ottawa for raffling off tickets to the Ottawa - Montreal game. Thankfully I have @taybemothering with me to explain everything I don’t know yet.
[picture] Selfie of two young women in front of the Canadian Tire Centre, both in Ottawa Centaurs jerseys, smiling into the camera.
|
It was rare I was there 🏒@taybemothering
Thank you for inviting me, bestie! Absolute highlight of our fangirl weekend!
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
So seated for the Ottawa Montreal game. Cannot wait to send them home crying.
|
cens trash@tyler_h
Wait, how is it February and it’s only our second game against them?
|
Marty 🏒@centaursfan72
We only play the Metros three times this season, not four.
|
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
Lol I wouldn’t be surprised if the Metros bribed the commissioner for leniency with the scheduling.
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
I don’t think they needed to bribe him. Crowell would throw hollanov out of the league and move the Centaurs if he could, but taking away attention from the clusterfuck with Montreal is the next best thing.
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Obligatory fuck Crowell
maple@5holesinthefence
Okay, I’m gonna try to live tweet this. I watched a few games in preparation, but I’m not gonna to lie, I’m mostly here for #hollanov. Also I’m so glad I listened to @taybemothering and dressed in layers because it’s sooo cold in here.
|
maple@5holesinthefence
I see why hockey smut is a thing. These warm-ups are very suggestive. Like that is some hip flexibility right there 👀
|
maple@5holesinthefence
I swear Ilya Rozanov just stared at Shane Hollander doing his hip flex thrust thing. Like I don’t have a picture of it, but Zane Boodram skated over and poked Ilya with his stick to snap him out of it, so.
|
maple@5holesinthefence
First face-off! Omg this game is so fast! How do they know when to change lines? This is so confusing. Also I can only see the puck like twenty percent of the time???
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Went to the door for my pizza, come back and there’s a goal. Go to the kitchen to get a napkin and miss another goal. Like I love my team but wtf guys?
|
cens era baby!@barrettsbabe
Well, Bood, Roz and Barrett are the Be Right Back score a goal line lol.
maple@5holesinthefence
Shane and Ilya on the ice together! Apparently this is a powerplay. Ilya is usually a center and only plays wing on the powerplay for Shane and I think that sounds very romantic!
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Shane scores! I’m being told Ilya’s blind assist was especially nasty (but that’s a good thing apparently? There’s a very helpful guy in a Hayes jersey next to me who’s taken pity on my uninformed ass and is helping @taybemothering explain hockey rules. I’m doing a lot of nodding and smiling)
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Okay, the Metros are being nasty, so many fouls. (helpful guy, whose name is Ted is trying to explain when a check is legal and when it’s not but honestly that feels like advanced knowledge and I’m still a beginner)
Marty 🏒@centaursfan72
You know, LaPoint always struck me as a really unremarkable defenceman, but he’s really putting in the work, protecting Hollzy against the Metros, and I gotta say that guy has skills.
|
LP defender @LaPointster
Yes omg I’ve been saying for years! And it’s only his third season and he’s improved SO much playing second shift with Hollander.
|
tony@hollanderer24
Hollander has a reputation for taking young guys under his wing, one thing that made him such a good captain in Montreal and it seems like he’s still doing it in Ottawa as alternate because both Holmberg and LaPoint have improved so much with him.
|
#1 bunny fan@lucahaasimylove
And Haas!
|
tony@hollanderer24
I’d argue that Haas has matured more than improved, but he also was doing really well last season already so compared to Homberg and LaPoint he developed less but he also started higher.
|
#1 bunny fan@lucahaasimylove
Good point! My boy is just so good!
maple@5holesinthefence
Okay I finally got a video of Ilya getting to Shane on the bench! Ilya climbing over half the bench to sit next to his husband is too cute #hollanov
[video, 10 sec] Slightly shaky cell phone footage of the Ottawa bench. Ilya Rozanov climbs over the boards in the middle, landing half on top of William LaPoint and Luca Haas. He then slide shimmies his way past his teammates who all look completely unbothered and help push him along like this is a regular occurrence without breaking their conversations. Ilya wiggles in next to Shane Hollander who looks exasperated but hands Ilya a water bottle.
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
The way Shane was ready with that water bottle, he knew Ilya would come right to him. Fucking magnets 🥰
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
The way that no one on that bench is bothered tells me Ilya does this a lot. Like a LOT a lot!
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
I have two other clips like this from this season, but this is the first one that gets the entire thing plus Shane’s fake annoyed expression. Thank you @5holesinthefence for your service!
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Yes! Thank you @5holesinthefence for delivering #hollanov clips to us! Love to see you fall in love with hockey 🏒
anna81@rozanovdefender81
Ilya is so whipped omggg it’s so adorable
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
The way you call this Russian menace who could crush you with his biceps adorable. And you’re so right.
maple@5holesinthefence
Omg Ilya slammed a Metros player into the boards right below us and I swear he was smiling when he did it.
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Kiss cam! They got me and @taybemothering and I gave her a big smooch in thanks for being so patient explaining hockey to me like I’m a first grader.
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Omg hockey fail! Helpful Ted told me that Hazy is one of the best goalies in the league so I was like maybe he won’t let in a goal and Ted almost choked on his nachos bc apparently it’s super bad luck to call for a shutout.
|
maple@5holesinthefence
@taybemothering said hockey is the most superstitious sport ever so now we’re trying to knock on wood but there’s nothing here! Helpful Ted has a wooden key chain for emergencies so hopefully that works 😅
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Love me a man who’s prepared! And yes, hockey is suuuuuper superstitious, like I wear the same bra to every playoff game so like definitely knock on wood. I might have to steal that key chain trick…
maple@5holesinthefence
Helpful Ted is almost hoarse from screaming at the Metros everytime they do an illegal check and at the refs when they’re blind. @taybemothering has joined Ted in shouting abuse at the refs. I’m a little scared, but at least Ted shared his nachos.
|
maple@5holesinthefence
There’s a huge fight now. Ilya seems to have started it, but now everyone is getting involved??? They’re all just dropping their gloves and beating each other???
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Apparently Comeau from the Metros instigated the fight, so we’re good. @taybemothering is ranting about how homophobic Comeau is and Ted is nodding along, citing Comeau’s bad stats everytime @taybemothering needs to take a breath. I gather that Comeau is both a homophobic dick and bad at hockey.
Nari@cookingforcens
The fucking Metros are playing so fucking dirty, Gilbert Comeau you better watch your back or I’m going to come at you like Caesar on the Ides of March 🔪
#1 bunny fan@lucahaasimylove
Oh you know it’s bad when even my baby Luca is dropping gloves!
cens era baby!@barrettsbabe
Barrett is such a scrappy fighter, my man 🥰
josh@81reasonstostan
Lol it was only a matter of time before Rozy dropped the gloves, surprised it took him this long.
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Probably Hollzy told him not to get stupid penalties before the third.
|
josh@81reasonstostan
I mean we were up three goals in the second, but since we all know that Rozy’s whipped you’re probably right.
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
He does love his Gordie Howe hat trick though lol
maple@5holesinthefence
Comeau has been ejected from the game and Ted threw the rest of his nacho crumbs in the air like confetti. @taybemothering is yelling support at Ilya and Barrett sitting in the penalty box below us. I don’t think they can hear us but Ilya keeps waving at the crowd and they’re all cheering for him.
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Ilya is back on the ice and scores immediately! Ted is calling him a beautiful bastard and @taybemothering is really excited because apparently he did his signature move, the Rozanov. Ted is now recounting with tears in his eyes when he saw Ilya do that live for the first time two seasons ago.
calvin@metrolife
Typical home ice bias. Rozanov starts a fight but Comeau gets the game misconduct.
|
❤️🖤 m&m@kikialacarte
He obviously instigated with a slur 🙄 And if anything the refs have been favoring the Metros all night because they knew without their help it’d be a double digit humiliation
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
Wyatt Hayes with his fifth shutout of the season, what a fucking goat!
spencer🏒@pumasforlife
Watching the Cens destroy the Metros through the power of gay love to distract myself from how single I am only to be faced with hollanov being absolute relationship goals and feeling more single than ever…
|
k@hollanova
If you’re feeling single, watching hollanov is just the worst. But dating is also the worst!
|
spencer🏒@pumasforlife
Yeah, dating is horrible lol
|
k@hollanova
So I keep hearing…
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Always love a Hollanov hat trick 🤩
|
shane is love@censenthusiast
Okay but Roz scored twice and Hollzy once?
|
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Yeah and together it’s a hat trick! A Hollanov hat trick!
|
shane is love@censenthusiast
Oh I see! Love that!
maple@5holesinthefence
The game is over and we got a shutout! 6-0! And a #hollanovhattrick because Ilya and Shane scored three goals combined! This was such a good time and I can’t thank @taybemothering and Ted enough for showing this rookie fan how to talk puck!
[picture] Two young women and a man in his forties who are all wearing Ottawa Centaurs jerseys posing together for a picture. They are all smiling brightly and have flushed cheeks. Their jerseys are covered in nacho crumbs.
|
no longer suffering cens fan@ottawaforlife
My wife just showed me your tweets and can I just say it was so much fun to see a new fan with so much enthusiasm for the game! I’m Ted by the way.
[picture] Selfie of a man and a woman both in their forties. The man is wearing an Ottawa Centaurs jersey covered in yellow nacho crumbs and is waving at the camera.
|
maple@5holesinthefence
Omg hiiiiiii!!!
|
It was rare I was there 🏒@taybemothering
Omg hi Ted! Thanks for helping me explain things to @5holesinthefence! And for sharing the nachos!
k@hollanova
For the #Hollanov fans new to hockey, this thread is a wonderful introduction! Don’t be afraid of the hockey! It’s fun even if you don’t know all the rules. And also an amazing show of current fans supporting new fans! Thank you @ottawaforlife aka Helpful Ted!
Quoted Tweet
maple@5holesinthefence
First ever hockey game! A giant thank you to Radio Ottawa @radio1ottawa for raffling off tickets to the Ottawa - Montreal game. Thankfully I have @taybemothering with me to explain everything I don’t know yet.
[picture] Selfie of two young women, both in Ottawa Centaurs jerseys, smiling into the camera.
|
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
I remember how I started reading hockey RPF without knowing any of the rules, but once I found #hollanov I got really into the sport and now it’s just so much fun. And most rules are super easy! Except goalie interference but no one understands that lol
MLH on ESPN ✅@espnmlh
Interview with Coach Theriault of the Montreal Metros after yet another unsuccessful roadtrip for the Metros, who only managed one point in an OT loss against the Colorado Rockies.
[video, 1 min 5 sec]
ESPN reporter: Coach Theriault, the last few games have not gone well and there’s been some talk of rebuilding the team.
Theriault: Obviously, I can’t comment on ongoing contract negotiations.
ESPN reporter: Of course. Do you have a comment on your four game loss streak?
Theriault: We had a bad trip, no doubt. The schedule was brutal this time. We played very strong teams in the West, and especially that OT loss against Colorado took a lot out of us. And I don’t think any team plays well coming off a red-eye, which obviously impacted our performance today against Ottawa.
ESPN: How about playing against your former captain and star center, Shane Hollander?
Theriault: Shane Hollander is just another player. Yes, he’s very good, but he doesn’t even play first line anymore. And I think I’ve discussed the game ad nauseum.
ESPN reporter: Last question then. How are you preparing for your next home game against the Admirals and what can the fans expect from the team coming home?
Theriault: The team will give it their all. We have a few rest days to regroup and focus our game on New York. We have every intention of winning.
ESPN reporter: With your current track record, how confident are you of a win?
Theriault: The Metros are always confident of a win.
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Shane Hollander is just another player? Excuse me? Shane motherfucking Hollander, Calder winner, three time Cup champion, MVP, Hart winner, Rocket winner, that Shane Hollander is just another player???
Ben@rinkwriter
Theriault’s interview is just embarrassing honestly. Everyone who knows hockey knows that Hollander is one of the greats. Trying to downplay his skills just makes you look stupid.
tony@hollanderer24
The only reason Shane is playing second line is because the Centaurs have Ilya Rozanov playing first line. And the only reason the second line is behind the first in points is because Haas and Holmberg are still growing into themselves while Barrett and Bood are veteran wingers.
|
Cay🏒@montrealgenial
For real. And Shane is still ninth in points in the entire league like lmao just another player.
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
Just another player? That’s Canada’s Prince of Hockey, you pathetic piece of shit!
josh@81reasonstostan
Sure they lost to Ottawa because of the red-eye. And the sun was in their eyes and their sticks were taped wrong and the ice was too rough…
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
The red eye? Because they couldn’t get sleep on their private jet? Also the game was in the evening lmao they had the entire day to rest.
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Always confident of a win? After that shit show of a road trip? Well I guess what they lack in talent they make up for with the self confidence of a mediocre white man.
Cay in exile🏒@montrealgenial
Okay that’s it. As a Metros fan I’m so embarrassed. Actually as a former Metros fan. This is officially too much. I can’t become a Cens fan, it just feels wrong but I’m officially a Shane fan only. Ordering a new Hollander Cens jersey right now.
|
❤️🖤 m&m@kikialacarte
You’ll join us soon enough…
Ottawa Centaurs ✅@OttawaCentaurs
Taking a moment to celebrate our hometown hero, Shane Hollander. So much more than just another hockey player!
[video, 1 min 45 sec] A goal compilation. The video features Shane’s goals playing for Team Canada at the Sochi Olympics, several All-Star weekends, and during this season for the Centaurs.
fay | in my hollanov era@rideordieacentaur
Lol Harris not using a single goal of Shane in a metros uniform, you know that man is fuming
|
luc@puckrabbit
No one does petty like the gays
mildred@shanestiddies
a shane goal compilation? fuck yes, who needs porn anyway? if only he would free the tiddies…
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Okay Theriault needs to be taken out. Like I know that man praised Shane so much wtf? Does anyone have receipts?
|
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
Paging @hollanovisreal
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
You bet I have receipts. Here is Coach “Shane Hollander is just another hockey player” Theriault praising Shane Hollander as the generational talent he is for two minutes and four seconds straight. #MontrealIsOverParty #OttawaCens #Hollanov @OttawaCentaurs
[video, 2 min 4 sec] Interview with Coach Theriault saying “Hollander is an exceptional playmaker, which is why he’s leading in points.” Cut to another interview, Theriault saying “Hollander has an incredible work ethic and as captain that influences the entire team, of course. He is instrumental in creating the locker room culture that allows us to dominate.” More cuts to different interviews, Coach Theriault praising Shane Hollander in various outfits and hairstyles, clearly spanning a decade.
|
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Yesssss get his ass!
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
Retweeted
Ottawa Centaurs ✅@OttawaCentaurs
Taking a moment to celebrate our hometown hero, Shane Hollander! So much more than just another hockey player
[video, 1 min 45 sec] A goal compilation. The video features Shane’s goals…
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
Retweeted
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
You bet I have receipts. Here is Coach “Shane Hollander is just another hockey player” Theriault praising Shane Hollander as the generational talent he is for two minutes and four seconds straight. #MontrealIsOverParty #Ottawa #Hollanov @OttawaCentaurs
[video, 2 min 4 sec] Interview with Coach Theriault saying “Hollander is…
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
Omg what? What the fuck??? RIP my DMs…
|
Al | shiniest tin crown@hollanovtrash
Omg Ilya retweeted!!! How are you still alive???
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
I’m tweeting from the grave lol
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
Lol not Roz retweeting the official account and then the biggest hollanov shipper, that man truly has no chill when it comes to his husband 😅
Saskatchewan truther@shilyaisreal
Omgggg getting retweeted by Ilya Rozanov himself, when will it be my turn???
mai@firsthusbandsofhockey
Yesss go off king!
|
k@hollanova
Do I love that he retweeted the biggest shipper in fandom? No. Do I love that he defended Shane? Yes.
|
luc@puckrabbit
Is it even shipping when it’s real? Just saying…
Rozy can ice me anytime@81mebaby
ilya coming to his husband’s defense will never not be the hottest thing on this earth. i’m sure he’ll be scolded… and then get a hero’s blowjob! 😋
|
mildred@shanestiddies
oh you know my boy is all over him tonight 👅
luc@puckrabbit
Wdym Ilya Rozanov defends his husband on main and my hookup forces me to leave out the fire escape when his girlfriend showed up (redownloading grindr was a mistake)
|
k@hollanova
(redownloading grindr definitely was a mistake) Look I know my track record wasn’t great but I might have one more idea.
|
luc@puckrabbit
I mean at this point what do I have to lose?
BBQ with Bood✅@ZaneBoodram
My fellow A is definitely not just another player!
Quoted tweet
Ottawa Centaurs ✅@OttawaCentaurs
Taking a moment to celebrate our hometown hero, Shane Hollander! So much more than just another hockey player
[video, 1 min 45 sec] A goal compilation. The video features Shane’s goals…
Will LP✅@WillLaPoint
Still can’t believe I play a shift with this guy!
Quoted tweet
Ottawa Centaurs ✅@OttawaCentaurs
Taking a moment to celebrate our hometown hero, Shane Hollander! So much more than just another hockey player
[video, 1 min 45 sec] A goal compilation. The video features Shane’s goals…
Hazy✅@WyattHayes
Hollzy is definitely a superhero in my book! With Roz as his sidekick, he’s unbeatable!
Quoted tweet
Ottawa Centaurs ✅@OttawaCentaurs
Taking a moment to celebrate our hometown hero, Shane Hollander! So much more than just another hockey player
[video, 1 min 45 sec] A goal compilation. The video features Shane’s goals…
|
Troy Barrett✅@Troy_B
Preach it man!
|
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
Sidekick??? Bag skates for all of you traitors!
|
Troy Barrett✅@Troy_B
This you?
[picture] Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov standing on a back patio. Shane is talking to Luca Haas, explaining something with his hands. Luca is listening attentively. Ilya is holding two plates, a can of coke and a can of ginger ale and staring at Shane with heart eyes.
|
yes that Rozanov✅@ilya_81rozanov
Since when is loving your husband a crime? Rude!
24+81=Stanley Cup@ridingwiththecentaurs
The team retweeting, I love how they all stand behind Hollzy and Roz!
|
HR supremacy@ottawaaaaaaaaa
Best team in the entire league, no contest.
anna81@rozanovdefender81
The team ribbing Ilya for being a simp for his husband, love that for us
|
still in my rozanov era@ponylovestheraiders
Fork once again found in kitchen.
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
And another one for the Ilya “down bad for his husband” Rozanov folder. Thank you for your service, Troy Barrett!
joleeeen@futurehollanovdaughter
That picture of Shane and Ilya is so cute, Shane explaining something to their hockey son and Ilya looking so in love and holding Shane’s drink, that’s my fathers!
Shane Hollander✅@shanehollander24
Today I’m grateful for the team I joined, and the man I married. I couldn’t ask for more!
[picture] The entire Centaurs team are posing on the ice after the game against the Montreal Metros, the scoreboard above them still reading 6-0. Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are standing in the middle, grinning at each other.
I guess I’m a cens fan now@freckleappreciation
No one does polite passive aggressive like the Canadians 😂 Never change, Shane baby!
Chapter End Notes
next up: the metros play the admirals and Ilya continues to be a menace.
Chapter 16
Chapter Summary
Ilya breaks the internet shittalking the Metros (and Scott Hunter. But like, lovingly. You know how he is.)
Chapter Notes
And we’re still not done with the Metros, and Comeau in particular. He might only have one homophobic line in TLG, but that man is dead to us. Additional warnings for homophobic language. We’re also playing around with formatting, hopefully this’ll look a little better now!
yes that Rozanov ✅ @ilya_81rozanov
The good kind of dinosaur 🦖
[video, 8 sec] Clip from the 1993 movie Jurassic Park. The slimy lawyer is hiding in the little toilet hut, sitting on the toilet with his pants down. With a big crash, the T-Rex destroys the hut. For a moment, the T-Rex and the lawyer stare at each other, then the T-Rex snaps her jaws and grabs the lawyer from the toilet and eats him.
HR supremacy @ottawaaaaaaaaa
Oh, I see Roz is watching Jurassic Park. The man has taste.
|
no longer suffering cens fan aka helpful Ted @ottawaforlife
And he’s watching the OG, which is honestly still the best one.
24 + 81 = ❤️ @hollanovisreal
I know people are saying Ilya is just watching Jurassic Park but the Admirals are playing the Metros today and we all know his favorite insult for Hunter…
|
Al | shiniest tin crown @hollanovtrash
this would be the most support Ilya has ever given hunter publicly though right? doesn’t he usually just insult him?
|
fay | in my hollanov era @rideordieacentaur
Well he’s still chirping him about his age 😅
|
24 + 81 = ❤️@hollanovisreal
Also it’s probably mostly about the Metros being terrible and getting destroyed lol
still in my rozanov era @ponylovestheraiders
Posting a clip from a very popular movie but everybody immediately knows you’re wishing doom on your sworn rival at the hand of a friend while also chirping that friend, I keep saying it but this is why I still stan this man. Incomparable!
[gif] Scene from the 1993 movie Jurassic Park, showing Alan Grant waving in absolute awe at a brachiosaurus behind him.
|
anna81 @rozanovdefender81
And now I want to rewatch Jurassic Park 😂
still in our dynasty era @metrotraveling
Holding out hope that we’ll play better now that we’re back on home ice.
|
calvin @metrolife
You know we will. We have the loudest fans in the league, other teams are afraid of coming to our barn!
|
Nate @metrossssssss24
Not anymore...
still in my rozanov era @ponylovestheraiders
Under normal circumstances I’d never watch a Metros game, but neither the Raiders nor the Cens are playing tonight, so my queer hockey group is rooting for the Admirals and we’re turning it into a drinking game.
|
still in my rozanov era @ponylovestheraiders
The official drinking game for the #NYAvsMTL game: Drink everytime: Gilbert Comeau looks stupid, the Metros lose a face-off, Comeau gets a penalty, the Metros have too many players on the ice, Comeau loses an argument with a ref, and the Metros miss the goal.
|
still in my rozanov era @ponylovestheraiders
Oh and two drinks every time the Admirals score!
|
anna81 @rozanovdefender81
Omg babe you’re gonna be PLASTERED. Also Comeau always looks stupid lol
|
❤️🖤 m&m @kikialacarte
As a reformed metros fan I can confirm that Comeau does always look like he’s trying to figure out the answer to 2 + 2 and is mostly sure it’s 5 and is angry about it.
|
spencer🏒 @pumasforlife
I never used to root for a team other than Chicago, but watching the Admirals destroy the Metros is so fucking satisfying. The queers just keep winning. Also I think your drinking game would’ve taken me out lol
|
still in my rozanov era @ponylovestheraiders
I switched to water after the second period and I still feel a massive hangover coming…
Nate @metrossssssss24
I knew losing Hollander would seriously impact the team, but this is just embarrassing. The number of penalties we’re drawing is insane.
|
❤️🖤 m&m @kikialacarte
This is just straight up homophobia. Like the Metros haven’t played great all season but they usually don’t try to hate crime another team.
|
Nate @metrossssssss24
I can’t even argue with that. Comeau and Drapeau are just poisoning the team and who knows who else is not just going along with them but actively supporting it. This season is such a fucking shitshow.
|
❤️🖤 m&m @kikialacarte
You could just join me in the promised land…
|
Nate @metrossssssss24
Honestly if the org doesn’t put serious effort into changing team culture and doing better, I just might… But stuff like that takes time, so I’m willing to wait and see what happens until the trade deadline and this summer. But Comeau definitely needs to go.
King of the hockey gays 👑🏒 @huntingthecup
Whoever says my king needs to retire, look at him putting up three points against the Metros!
|
Hot hockey @themissionislife
He’s been fine this season, but it seems the Metros’ homophobia really fueled him today!
danny_o @admiralsadmirer
Wow, Montreal fans are pissed #MontrealMetros
[video, 5 sec] The inside of the Bell Centre, the players are leaving the ice. The crowd is booing loudly. Final score reads 4-0 for the New York Admirals.
|
Good Neighbor Paddy🌈 @buffalooooooos
Well, this was their second game in a row getting shut out.
|
hockeymom @hockeymom24
It’s really unfortunate their new star centre is out with an upper body injury.
|
tony @hollanderer24
They wouldn’t have needed a new star centre if they hadn’t let Hollander walk…
Gay For Hockey @sfgayhockey
karma is a bitch isn’t it?
josh @81reasonstostan
You just know Rozy is watching this on loop lol
Quoted Tweet
danny_o @admiralsadmirer
Wow, Montreal fans are pissed #MontrealMetros
[video, 8 sec] The inside of the Bell Centre, the players are leaving the ice. The crowd…
yes that Rozanov ✅ @ilya_81rozanov
Liked this tweet
josh @81reasonstostan
Holy shit not Rozy liking my tweet, fucking legend
now suffering metros fan @allezlesmetro
I’ve been a metros fan all my life. That’s forty-two years, and for a decade and a half before Hollander was drafted, it was bleak. And now we’re right back to that.
|
HR supremacy @ottawaaaaaaaaa
And who’s fault is that???
|
now suffering metros fan @allezlesmetro
The front office, the team, the press probably.
|
HR supremacy @ottawaaaaaaaaa
You forgot the fans…
|
now suffering metros fan @allezlesmetro
The fans weren’t even that bad.
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ @hollanovisreal
Oh yeah?
[picture] Screenshot of a tweet: Hollander is a fucking traitor we should have known he’d throw the game for his boytoy
[picture] Screenshot of a tweet: Cannot believe Hollander is fucking the enemy and cost us the cup!
[picture] Screenshot of a tweet: Trade that disloyal MF I’m so serious!!!
[picture] Screenshot of a tweet: Fucking pussy. Just bending over for Rozanov everywhere huh
|
now suffering metros fan @allezlesmetro
Okay you found the worst examples.
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ @hollanovisreal
Yeah because they were everywhere!!!
|
❤️🖤 m&m @kikialacarte
As a queer former metros fan I need to defend some of our fans at least. There were a lot of loud assholes, but also a lot of good people who supported Shane.
[picture] Screenshot of two tweets: If Hollander and Rozanov have been together for years then he’s clearly not been throwing games. And hockey aside, it’s so disheartening to see all the homophobic comments. #IStandWithShaneHollander
FR! We’ve been doing Pride Nights for years now and people are still holding his sexuality against him? Also it’s Shane fucking Hollander, that man lives and breathes Metros hockey!
[picture] Screenshot of a tweet: I’m so mad he got outed like that and #IStandWithShaneHollander
[picture] Screenshot of two tweets: Everyone calling for a Hollander trade is insane that man won us three fucking cups #IStandWithShaneHollander
Right? Also how is it 2021 and it still matters who you love? I really thought the fans would be better than this. #IStandWithShaneHollander
[picture] Screenshot of a tweet: Forget the metros, he brought the cup back to fucking Canada, that man is a national hero I don’t care who he fucks #IStandWithShaneHollander
|
24 + 81 = ❤️ @hollanovisreal
I appreciate the support Shane got from a lot of the fans, but they were just drowned out by the loud assholes who were supported by the org’s behavior. I get where you’re coming from and I feel for all queer Metros fans, but we can’t forget how Shane was treated.
miette plays hockey @catmomma
Yeah, okay, heads really need to roll. I don’t know who decided to let Hollander go but they all should face the guillotine.
[gif] The Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland yelling “Off with their heads!”
|
still in our dynasty era @metrotraveling
Who says Hollander didn’t want to leave? He could have signed an extension at any point during the last season and just didn’t.
|
Sweet 16 @JJismyBoi
Yeah I always wondered why he didn’t re-sign earlier.
|
Ben @rinkwriter
From everything I’ve heard since, it seems Hollander was trying to negotiate maximum length with a no trade clause, probably as security if he got outed or maybe even wanted to come out. The Metros might have been hesitant to give him a contract past a certain age simply because they might have been worried about more injuries or him getting old. (1/2)
|
Ben @rinkwriter
The core around Hollander with Pike and Boiziou is well in their thirties now, so they had to plan for a rebuild in the future and a bunch of aging guys taking up a lot of cap space can be an issue. Not that I agree with them not re-signing Hollander because that man built the franchise and still plays incredibly, but I can see negotiations dragging on bc of that during the season and then once they were outed Montreal was never going to re-sign him. (2/2)
|
Sweet 16 @JJismyBoi
But Hollander, Boiziau and Pike have so many good years left ahead of them, not giving them another 8 years is nuts! They could’ve rebuilt when they retire!!!
|
miette plays hockey @catmomma
Well, they can start their rebuilding now because it turns out the team is shit without him.
tony @hollanderer24
As a Hollander fan I cannot relate because my man keeps winning
|
still in our dynasty era @metrotraveling
He lost yesterday
|
tony @hollanderer24
By one goal. After a fucking seven game winning streak. Leading the division and second place in the conference. Your fuck ass team isn’t even a playoff contender right now.
mildred @shanestiddies
the power of shane’s tiddies was carrying this franchise for years, this is what you get for letting him walk
|
mildred @shanestiddies
like i’m not mad about it. shane seems so much happier and he gets to be with his man who keeps me better fed than the metros ever did
fay | in my hollanov era @rideordieacentaur
I’m not a vindictive person but god that feels good
|
rozy can ice me anytime @81mebaby
i AM a vindictive person and this made me cackle into my champagne!
Nari @cookingforcens
Seeing the metros booed by their own fans has watered my crops, cleared my skin and cured my depression 🥰
Pike bunny🏒🐰 @pikeme35
At this point, I just want Hayden to put in a trade request. Obviously, I’d love to see him back on a line with Hollander, but honestly I’d take anywhere but Montreal. Well, except for Vegas maybe.
|
Sweet 16 @JJismyBoi
Can JJ go with him? These two are really just too good for the team.
|
Donna @Comeaudefender
Omg it’s one season stop whining! It takes time to rebuild a team.
|
Sweet 16 @JJismyBoi
I don’t talk to people with that shithead in their username. Blocked.
One Stop Hockey Shop @ManInTheCreasePod
After another devastating loss and almost certainly out of play-off contention, how secure is Theriault’s position as Montreal’s head coach? Tune in for our discussion on the state of the Metros, Hunter’s retirement rumors, and Chicago’s surprising dominance of the Central Division.
|
King of the hockey gays 👑🏒 @huntingthecup
Keep my man Hunter’s name out of your filthy mouths! You guys speculate about his retirement every season and yet my man’s still playing and thriving.
Chad69 @metros4life
Yeah theriolt needs to go. He’s fucking old and clearly cant get it done!
calvin @metrolife
Calling for a coach’s firing after a decade of successfully rebuilding a team and bringing home three cups just because the season after a major shake up isn’t going well is insane. Theriault is an elite coach from the old guard and he’ll get us through this.
|
raiders_JD @raidingwiththeraiders
Lol Theriault has no control of that team anymore you’re a fucking mess. He’s always been a shit coach, coasting on Hollander’s goals.
|
calvin @metrolife
Says a guy whose team hasn’t won a cup since 2014 despite switching the coach twice…
|
raiders_JD @raidingwiththeraiders
Yeah well we have our own traitor to thank for that.
spencer🏒 @pumasforlife
Can’t even argue with Chicago’s win streak being surprising because they’ve been shit the last few years, but our rookies have really been doing so well.
|
Windy in the City @Chitownpumas
Absolutely. They’re still such a young team, and I don’t think we have a realistic shot at the cup, but I think we’re making the play-offs!
|
spencer🏒 @pumasforlife
Well, real talk, does anyone except Ottawa have a realistic shot at the cup this year?
|
Windy in the City @Chitownpumas
Probably not…
|
k @hollanova
Yeah, sorry, but the answer to that is no.
|
luc @puckrabbit
I don’t really believe in the power of love anymore, but at this point hollanov is transcending anything that’s possible, so… no.
|
spencer🏒 @pumasforlife
Yeah, I’m with you guys there.
no longer suffering cens fan aka helpful Ted @ottawaforlife
Man in the crease still being shitty, another day ending in y…
yes that Rozanov ✅ @ilya_81rozanov
Congratulations to @admiralshunter21 on his win! You might be a living fossil but you can still beat the Metros 🦖🎉
[gif] A shot from the original Jurassic Park movie where the T-Rex triumphantly roars while in front of her, the Jurassic Park banner flutters to the ground.
|
Scott Hunter ✅ @admiralshunter21
I’d say thank you, but then you had to use that gif?
|
yes that Rozanov ✅ @ilya_81rozanov
She is a queen! This is highest honor I have ever bestowed on you!!!
|
Scott Hunter ✅ @admiralshunter21
Fuck off Rozanov
|
Kip @kiplovesart
😂😂😂😂
josh @81reasonstostan
I know Rozy always says he’d be a race car driver if he wasn’t playing hockey, but that man could be a comedian lol
mai @firsthusbandsofhockey
Hot AND funny, he’s truly the whole package!
still in my rozanov era @ponylovestheraiders
Scott Hunter truly is the grandfather of the hockey queers.
yes that Rozanov ✅ @ilya_81rozanov
Retweeted
still in my rozanov era @ponylovestheraiders
Scott Hunter truly is the grandfather of the hockey queers.
still in my rozanov era @ponylovestheraiders
Omggggggggg sdpnvpasovncdvsnc
|
still in my rozanov era @ponylovestheraiders
Getting my insult slash appreciation tweet of Hunter retweeted by Ilya fucking Rozanov, I feel like I just graduated hockey chirp school 😭
|
anna81 @rozanovdefender81
Summa cum laude!!!
calvin @metrolife
Honestly Rozanov should be fined for unsportsmanlike conduct for that tweet
|
HR supremacy @ottawaaaaaaaaa
Omg it’s a fucking joke… you know, just like your team.
|
Hot hockey @themissionislife
Dude, it’s a joke, not a dick. You don’t have to take it so hard.
Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollander24
Long flights aren’t so bad if they’re with your favorite people @ottawacentaurs
[picture] The inside of a plane. The shot is taken from the back down the aisle, showing several Centaurs players milling around the plane. Wyatt Hayes is standing in the middle of the aisle, gesticulating with a comic while Zane Boodram and Evan Dykstra watch him curiously. Luca Haas and Will LaPoint are leaning over the headrest, looking back at the camera, smiling brightly. Behind them, someone is throwing up bunny ears over both of their heads. In the corner of the picture is the back of the seat with the screen turned on. Barely visible is a movie playing on the screen. In the shot, there’s a brachiosaurus walking among trees.
|
yes that Rozanov ✅ @ilya_81rozanov
Favorite people? And I am not in the picture???
|
Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollander24
Because you were right next to me???
|
Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OttawaCentaurs
Relax, Roz, we all know you’re his favorite
[picture] Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander sitting next to each other on a plane. Rozanov has his head on Hollander’s shoulder, obviously asleep. Hollander has a finger raised to his mouth in a shushing motion while still smiling at the camera.
|
shane is love @censenthusiast
Shane protecting Ilya while he’s sleeping? These are the couple goals me and my husband aim for!
24 + 81 = ❤️ @hollanovisreal
Oh we are being fed today! Everybody say thank you Harris!
24+81=Stanley Cup @ridingwiththecentaurs
Lol everyone knows Roz is his favorite. No one is trying to take him away! Well maybe the Raiders if they want their captain back…
|
mai @firsthusbandsofhockey
Have you been on the internet? EVERYONE would try to take Ilya away from him if they could!
|
still in my rozanov era @ponylovestheraiders
Seriously, even half the Boston fans have forgiven him by now and even if they don’t say it publicly, they’d take him back in a heartbeat. Even with Hollzy…
|
24+81=Stanley Cup @ridingwiththecentaurs
You know what fair
Cliff M ✅ @cliffmarleau7
Well I’m keeping the C but we can talk about Roz 😎
Quoted Tweet
24+81=Stanley Cup @ridingwiththecentaurs
Lol everyone knows Roz is his favorite. No one is trying to take him away! Well maybe the Raiders if they want their captain back…
|
raiders_JD @raidingwiththeraiders
wtf? why would we want that traitor back?!?!?!
|
waitingforanothercup @BRsforlife
He’s clearly joking…
|
sofia @raidersfan45
I would love it if he wasn’t joking…
|
BBQ with Bood ✅ @ZaneBoodram
Are you sure you’d want him back? I have a feeling you didn’t think that one through…
|
Cliff M ✅ @cliffmarleau7
Now that you say it…
|
yes that Rozanov✅ @ilya_81rozanov
Boo! Bagskates for all of you!
💛817🖤 @marlanov4ever
I live for these crumbs 😍💛😍🖤
Quoted Tweet
Cliff M ✅ @cliffmarleau7
Well I’m keeping the C but we can talk about Roz 😎
|
anna81 @rozanovdefender81
I love their friendship as much as the next girl but Ilya is sooooo down bad for Shane! It’s honestly so beautiful just join us already!
luc @puckrabbit
Wdym MLH badass Ilya Rozanov is just cuddling with his husband on main and my last ex didn’t even want to cuddle after sex?
|
k @hollanova
At this point I’m just glad he’s your ex… but we really need to stop setting Shane and Ilya as the standard. No one compares to star-crossed lovers
|
spencer🏒 @pumasforlife
Hollander and Rozanov really out there transcending the rivalry on par with a Shakespeare epic
|
luc @puckrabbit
You say rivalry, I say foreplay…
|
spencer🏒 @pumasforlife
👀
Chapter End Notes
for the next few updates, we’re going to go back to the prequel to wrap that up before we get into the final games of the season and then playoffs! So be sure to subsrcibe to the first part of this series, The Ottawa Centaurs break the internet, if you want to get updates for the next posts.