Go Tell Aunt Rhody

EXCERPT 15A
Subject: relative A, victim 15 (hereafter referred to as 15-A)
Interviewer: I.
Location: Montreal, Canada
Date: September 2008
Status: initial assessment

I: —ecord this, right?

15-A: Uh… sure. I guess.

I: Okay, so. Tell me again. From the beginning, in as much detail as you can.

15-A: Oh, so I just—I just say it? Again?

I: Yeah, from the top.

15-A: Right. So. My family owned this cabin up north, it was just a little thing, a two-bedroom fancy shed with an outhouse, but it was like a castle for us. We used to go there all the time. We—we did have indoor plumbing, but the outhouse was never removed even once my grandparents upgraded the plumbing system. Anyway, this happened the summer I turned thirteen—

I: What year would that be?

15-A: 2004. My dad had something important at work that year, so we just went up to the cabin without him for the first time; just me, my brother, and my mother. It was a little weird, a little sad, being there without him. We used to do everything together, you know? Just like a normal family. But that was before—well. That was before.

[15-A glances around the room as if he’s looking for something, then shakes his head and has a sip of water from a purple thermos.]

15-A: The first few days were okay, just regular vacation time. But then one evening we heard something outside, this series of loud noises, and like something was in our backyard messing with our stuff. Mom—mom had just painted her toenails, so she asked me to go check, but I was—I was reading this book, and I got… I got annoyed at her. Asked if she could go instead, since she wasn’t… doing anything. I just wanted to read my book, I didn’t care that whatever animal was out there was making so much noise. Mom said she was just gonna scare it away. I don’t know why I didn’t go with her. Don’t ask me, okay? I don’t know. I don’t know why the book was more important.

I: I wasn’t going to ask—or judge. Don’t worry about me, just tell the story as if I wasn’t here at all, okay?

15-A: Okay, yeah. She went outside, and after ten minutes I went outside too, to look for her, because I couldn’t hear any noises at all, you know? I thought maybe something had happened. I couldn’t find her, but I saw there were traces of blood on the ground, or—well, at the time I didn’t know it was blood. It was dark, but I knew the whatever it was hadn’t been there before dinner, so I followed it. All the way to the outhouse. I’m sorry, can we open that window? It’s a little hot in here.

I: No, I’m sorry. The mic is not very good, it might pick up outside noises. Do you want to get some ice instead?

15-A: That’s okay. I’ll just… finish the story. Not long anyway.

I: Right. So, you said you were following the blood?

15-A: Yes. All the way to the outhouse. The door was ajar. I remember pressing my ear up to the door, holding my breath to listen for any noises coming from inside, but nothing. The handle was smeared with blood, so instead of touching it I wedged my foot in the crack and opened the door the rest of the way. And there was mom. She was… pale. Green-pale, not just pale. Like she was in shock? Her shirt was torn off at the shoulder, and her arm was bloodied. I don’t know how I got her back inside, but between me and my brother we were able to clean the wound and—it was a bite. Whatever animal had been out there had bitten her, almost took a fucking chunk out of her, because I couldn’t—because I was too busy reading my fucking book. I kept trying to get her to tell me what happened, what hurt her, but she just kept shaking her head or shrugging. In the end I got her to bed, and that’s when the problems started.

I: Problems?

15-A: She started feeling… sick, I guess. She would stay inside all the time, and not just in the house. She’d refuse to get out of bed, wouldn’t come sit with my brother and I at all. She’d barely eat even when I brought her food. Sometimes one of the neighbors from her book club would come over and she’d refuse to come meet them. She would snap at me, tell me to leave her alone and stop bothering her. She never snapped at me. She stopped taking care of herself, stopped—stopped showering, or even brushing her teeth. Her hair got all matted, she wouldn’t let me brush it. Some days she would just lock the bedroom door, and we couldn’t get in at all.

I: What did you do then?

15-A: A couple of weeks went by like that. And then I called dad. I tried to get him to come over, but I couldn’t reach him at home and when I tried the office they told me he’d just left. Once I managed to speak with him he said he would try to get out of the whatever it was he was doing, but in the meantime I had to keep taking care of mom like I had been doing so far, that everything would be okay. You have to understand, my mom was not a bad person. She was a great mom, she loved us. I think—I think it wasn’t her fault, I don’t know what happened exactly, but… one night I woke up to her standing above me, just looking at me. It was like her eyes were glowing in the dark, and she was making this—this noise, like a guttural whine. She moved her hands, and at first I thought she was just going to tuck me in, but then she—she grabbed my arm, started pinching me and like, prodding and squeezing me? And then she bent down, licking her lips, and—I think I was in shock, I don’t know. Maybe I thought I was dreaming. She was drooling, I don’t—there’s no other word for it. Drool was literally dribbling down her chin and she kept licking her lips and her teeth looked… sharp. Way sharper than I remembered. The noise she was making changed, too. It was… lower, like a growl? But it carried an echo with it. I remember thinking it didn’t sound human.

[15-A takes another sip of water, chews on a hangnail.]

I: And then what happened?

15-A: That’s when my brother woke up. And he—he asked what was wrong, and mom just turned towards him with a snarl, and kind of… made this noise, I don’t know. Like a shriek. I really don’t know. I don’t even know if I remember it right. But she kept tugging my arm, and I remember thinking she was so strong—she’d always been strong, but not… not like that. When I fell off the bed, and she started dragging me towards the window, my brother closed the distance between our beds. He was screaming, trying to get her to let go of me, and she… pounced. I don’t think I can describe it any other way. One second she was next to me, and the next…

I: And the next?

15-A: She had ripped off my brother’s head, and was tearing chunks of meat out of the neck stump with her teeth.

Evidence — Europe / 01
Source: http://nocturnalbee.livejournal.com
Original Publication: March 21st, 2007
Location: Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer, Camargue, France
Language: French
Translation: Google Translate (proper nouns retained)

It happened again. Just came back from university because mom said there was another “attack” last night, and they told me it was a wild boar, but I’m not stupid, so I came back to try and convince her to leave, but she won’t fucking listen. When have wild boars ever done this, in 19 years I've been alive? Never a single boar has ever attacked people, and now we’ve had three deaths in one week? I overheard Marion tell mom that it looked like a bear attack, that the guy’s face was GONE, and his chest was all scratched out, like he’d been mauled by a bear. When have bears ever been a concern in camargue?? Police of course are saying it was an animal attack, just “another unfortunate accident”. Bunch of fucking idiots. I don’t want her to stay here anymore, i don’t care that she doesn’t like Montpellier and I don’t care that she thinks philosophy is never gonna make me any money. She’s not fucking safe here!! It’s like someone decided Saintes-Maries was their killing ground and I feel like I'm just waiting for her to be killed off by a fucking “wild boar” or a bear or whatever. But I know what it is. And it’s neither human nor animal. Fuck this shit, I'm driving back to Montpellier tomorrow and mom’s coming with me whether she wants to or not.

Evidence - Europe / 12
Source: http://italiasoprannaturale.altervista.org
Original Publication: June 2009
Location: Vigo di Fassa, Trentino Alto Adige, Italy
Language: Italian
Translation: Google Translate (errors in original retained where identified)

Please post this as anonymous. Sorry for my Italian, it’s not so good but I am learning! :)

I never think about writing here but I keep reading everyone else posts so I want to write too, because something happened to me. I went skiing with my boyfriend in Val di Fassa and we stay at Ciampedie. We did a lot of hiking too because there is lots of trails in the area and the people at the Rifugio are very nice and gave us very clear maps of the area and the trails, lots of tips too.

After about a week we meet another couple who also came from Germany and they said they wanted to go to a malga a few km from where we stayed, because they read about it online in a forum of haunted places. I don’t know if this was the forum, but the couple mention this website so this is how I found the page. When they say this, we are after dinner and the staff are lighting a fire for us, giving us free schnapps. So we are all listening to each other, and when they hear this, the staff immediately said no, that we should not go, and that the area is not so good for hiking. I thought it was weird because before they told us the place was good for hikes, and I have all the maps they give us, but I didn’t say anything.

The other couple insisted, they say they were doing a backpacking tour of haunted places in Europe. They had already been to Bulgaria and Czech Republic, and in Italy they had other cities too but there were many posts on the internet about the hike from Gardeccia to Re Alberto (these are both Rifugios, if you don’t know), people saying that there is definitely ghosts there, so they want to see the ghosts. The staff try to convince us again, they even speak to us in private about not going, but my boyfriend want to go, so we go with the couple early in the next morning, before anyone can see us.

I don’t know about this next part, I didn’t believe in ghosts before. I don’t think what we see was a ghost. I don’t know what we saw. But it wasn’t a ghost. Ghosts are human, no? Dead humans? That did not look human at all. It was huge, with fur, it was on four legs, like an animal. So I think it’s a bear, because it got up on two legs, like a person, and start growling, like a dog. But it does not look like a bear anymore, it looks more like human? It’s difficult to explain this. If I could do a drawing I would, I think it would be more easier than this.

I was so scared, I hold my boyfriend’s hand, and then when the big dog/animal goes on four legs again, I think it will charge us like a bull and we are dead. But Mathias (one of the guys in the other couple) take a rock from the floor and throw it, it hits the animal right in the head, and it start… crying. It sound like crying, I googled and it is the right word for this, das Weinen. I think Mathias saved us, but then someone come out from the trees, right where we are in the clearing, and he is screaming, and has a shotgun. But he is screaming at us, not the animal, and I think he is saying “go away” (“andare via” - tell me if I understood this wrong).

I don’t know where the animal was then… I ask my boyfriend many times but he says he was only looking at the gun. So we run away. Mathias and his boyfriend left, did not come back with us, they say they wanted to go to Firenze as soon as possible and sleep in Hotel, but my boyfriend and I go back to Ciampedie… but the staff did not let us stay. They say they do not know us, there is no room for us. All our things are packed in grocery bags, and we have to leave. Like they think we did something wrong. But we didn’t do anything, it was that animal that want to attack us.

Note: I don't think this poster was where they thought they were. Gardeccia to Re Alberto is an advanced hiking trail that goes further past Rifugio Vajolet. The landscape at that elevation is predominantly rocky, there shouldn’t have been any wooded areas… or bears. I did find a couple of posts from italiasoprannaturale.altervista.org citing the same hiking trail/the same “haunting,” but there’s slight inconsistencies between posts.

In one, the location is 1900m above sea level, but Rifugio Re Alberto sits 2621m above sea level. The other post also talked about a woodsy area, or rather “a lush forest in the Vajolet basin”. Any of my attempts at locating the exact clearing/woodsy area/hiking trail have failed. Nice mountains, though.

Evidence - Europe / 16
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/ParanormalEncounters/
Original Post Date: November 13th, 2012
Location: Barcelona metropolitan area, Catalunya, Spain
Language: Spanish
Translation: Google Translate

u/fuzzyponchos
November 13th, 2012 12:01:42 UTC

No need to be the devil’s advocate because I know EXACTLY what OP is talking about. I grew up in Sabadell (close to where you said you were attacked) and when I was little my grandma would always forbid me from going outside during the full moon. She said bad people were around, but Sabadell in the late 80s was… not a nursery of crime, shall we say. And there were the fucking dogs too, not a peep the whole month and then always barking barking howling during the full moon only? Yeah. Okay.

u/glossymammoth
November 13th, 2012 12:34:58 UTC

are you certifiably insane or just fucking stupid? there’s no way you think this bullshit post is real… and what the fuck is sadabell? is that supposed to be a real city? you catalans are all crazy, get off reddit and go whine about your independence to someone who cares.

u/knockmeoutdude (OP)
November 13th, 2012 14:02:14 UTC

I didn’t ask you to approve my story. I didn’t ask you to believe me. This is my post and you can downvote and move on if you don’t believe me. u/fuzzyponchos I’m actually from Martorell, I was just in Barcelona for uni. Did you really hear howling and barking?

u/fuzzyponchos
November 13th, 2012 15:28:34 UTC

Cool, a friend of mine is from Martorell :) and yes, it was very clear barking and howling, like a dog when there’s an a police siren that triggers them? Or when you’re in the presence of huskies? Just this soulful, mournful howling at the moon (at least that’s what I'm thinking they're howling at).

Oh btw u/glossymammoth it’s Sabadell, and also go fuck yourself.

Related evidence - Europe / 16
Source: El Periódico de Catalunya
Original Publication: November 11th, 2012
Language: Catalan
Translation: Google Translate

Man hospitalized following alleged attack by unidentified individual in Barcelona
by Montserrat Pedrosa

[…] According to anonymous sources within the Hospital de la Santa Creu i Sant Pau, the victim arrived at the emergency department in a state of extreme distress, reportedly shouting that he had been attacked by a monster. Hospital staff were allegedly unable to approach the man or administer treatment until he had been sedated.

The victim reportedly described his assailant as an “approximately two-metre-tall, hulking figure wearing a fur coat.” According to his account, the unidentified individual had been crouching beside a municipal waste container when the incident occurred.

Upon noticing the victim, the figure allegedly rose to its feet and charged towards him, knocking him to the ground before fleeing through an open side door of a nearby building.

The circumstances surrounding the incident remain unclear, and the victim's description of his alleged attacker has not been independently corroborated.

This newspaper has attempted to contact the victim for comment but has received no response at the time of publication.

Dear Ilya,

I hope this letter finds you in good spirits.

I have thought a lot about what you told me during your last visit, and I would be remiss in my duties of self-appointed honorary father if I didn't tell you I am worried about you.

Don't get me wrong, son—while I am proud of you and how far you've come since you were a little hooligan breaking into my house to steal from me, I do wonder if your dedication is now reaching an unhealthy shade of obsession.

You know I will always support you in your endeavors, but let me ask you this: is this worth wearing yourself down over? I never met Irina so I do not want to presume to know her mind, but I too am a parent, and if my own son were still here I would not want him wasting away trying to chase shadows.

Please do think about this.

Now that the boring part is over, you can resume reading. As promised, I visited the exhibit earlier this morning and I can confirm the woodblock on display at the Historisches Museum Bamberg is only a reproduction. I have made a discreet inquiry with my curator contact in order to ascertain the provenance of the piece, so I will let you know what the outcome is.

According to Cranach’s journals, there should be a diagram carved on the back of the original block; my knowledge of Frühneuhochdeutsch is evidently not up to the task because the passage is open to several interpretations. What I can make out is that there are “two that will be torn asunder,” but more than that I cannot say. I believe the original Irish manuscripts may hold the key to understanding what Cranach meant.

I've put out some feelers, but the trail seems to grow cold somewhere around the Netherlands. Van den Berg’s estate was portioned and sold through a private auction to different people all around the globe, so tracking down the location of the grimoire specifically is proving to be quite difficult.

If you focus on the woodblock, I'll keep looking for the manuscripts. In the meantime, please take care of yourself, my dear boy.

With fatherly love,
Timo

EXCERPT 8B
Subject: relative B, victim 8 (hereafter referred to as 8-B)
Interviewer: I.
Location: Schwangau, Germany
Date: February 1992
Status: initial assessment

I: I’m so sorry about that, it definitely should be recording now.

8-B: That’s okay. New toy?

I: Yes… when I bought this I made sure it was good enough for these, but I did not think about how difficult it would be to use it!

8-B: Technology is funny like that. Are you doing a lot of these interviews?

I: Not as many as I would like. Of course I met your daughter. Lovely young woman, if it’s not too forward of me to say.

8-B: Thank you. I’m sure she would hate to hear you say that, but thank you.

I: You're welcome.

[Static length: 00:00:12]

8-B: Anyway… do you want me to…?

I: Yes. Please, go ahead. Whenever you’re ready.

8-B: Alright. So… my son went missing, as you know, after attacking both my wife and his fiancé. And you know that I—I shot him myself, trying to stop him. Isolde has probably told you all this already, but she… she has a very pragmatic mind, like most academics. I’m a plumber, so I guess I’m not as much of a skeptic about the whole thing. She hates me for being like this, and it’s well within her rights, but please know that I did not agree to this interview lightly. For many days beforehand I thought the situation was maybe a little odd, but nothing to be overly worried about, maybe something that could be solved with a trip to the hospital, but not—not that. Sorry, I should start from the beginning. I’ve never done this before.

I: It’s okay. Just say things in whatever order you feel comfortable with.

8-B: My son was a good boy. He had some difficulties growing up, and he definitely was a… challenging teenager, but everything changed when he met Liesl. He got a job, started going to school. Started coming for Sunday dinner together with his girlfriend. He still had some bad days, but who doesn’t have those, every once in a while? You sould have seen him, he was so anxious and excited when he told me he was going to propose to Liesl. He was taking notes on how to make the proposal good, was asking: “how did you do it with mom?” and it was so funny, so cute, but also made me so proud. You have to understand—I am telling you this because I want you to understand why in the beginning I didn’t notice something was wrong.

I: Mister Amsel—may I call you Timo? Please know I would not judge you. I am only here to listen to your story, as you want to tell it.

8-B: I know, but still… what father doesn’t notice his son is acting weird, right? But that is the smallest of my sins from last Christmas, isn’t it. When Lukas and Liesl came for their holiday, he looked exhausted, pale. Liesl told me there had been a… situation at the nursing home, one of the elderly patients had started acting out and had become violent towards other residents. My son—he was an orderly, I don’t know if Isolde told you when you spoke with her?

I: She did. She said he worked at the Rosengarten Home for the Elderly, do I have that down correctly?

8-B: Yes. It was a tough job, but Lukas loved it. Said that he had spent so much of his youth making fun of old people, it was good he now had a chance to fix it.

[8-B gets audibly emotional, there is an extended pause.]

[Static length: 00:00:37]

8-B: Sorry about that. Where was I? Ah, yes, the violent man. Liesl said Lukas had been bitten while trying to restrain the man, and the bite had gotten infected quickly. To top it all off, the man had died during the struggle, and Lukas had broached protocol attending the man alone, so in the absence of witnesses to confirm Lukas hadn’t done anything wrong, he’d been placed on administrative leave until the nursing home’s investigation into the death was concluded. Lukas was understandably very cranky about it, irritable even. Would not let me or his mother help with medicating the bite, would flinch every time we tried to touch his arm. But you see, it made sense, how strangely he was acting. He loved his job, loved helping old people, and for things to go sour so quickly… he was just trying to help, so it was understandable that he would be annoyed at how things had turned out, don't you think so too?

I: Absolutely.

8-B: I started thinking something was wrong when Isi and her roommate arrived, a couple of nights later. You see, even at the height of his most difficult phase, Luki was never mean to his sister. They had this bond, almost as if they were twins; you would never see them fight, they would always cover for each other when one of them did something bad. My wife and I acted like parents, like them colluding was mutiny, but I think if Lukas hadn’t had Isi, and later Liesl… I don’t know what would have happened to him. Ah, but something bad happened to him anyway. That’s—you understand what I mean, though? I hope.

I: I do, don’t worry.

8-B: Being mean to Isi was the first thing that really didn’t sit right with me, and also… he started acting strange about food. Luki had never been a big meat guy, but I remember on Christmas Eve he left in the morning to rent some movies from our favorite video rental, and four hours later he was not back yet. We tried calling the store, and even a couple of the bars around town that we knew he liked, but no one had seen him. We had just called the police when he showed up, at 8 in the evening… said he had been at McDonald’s, of all places. He was so angry that we had even called around asking for him, said he was an adult and it was his right to do what he wanted. After… after I shot him, and after the police released me, I drove to McDonald’s, asked them to explain to me what happened. The manager had compiled a statement for the police, but I hadn’t yet been allowed to read it, and I just wanted to understand, you know? So I asked to speak with the manager on duty that night. She said Lukas had sat there ordering burgers until he’d run out of money, sometime around 4 p.m., but he kept hanging around and sort of harassing other patrons until they abandoned their trays and left the restaurant. The employees were scared of him, so they let him be… until he started rifling through the trash cans, taking out food wrappers and licking them, fishing for bits of food in the garbage. They called the manager then, and together with a couple of the bulkier employees they managed to send Lukas away. That was around 5, maybe 5:30 p.m., but he didn’t get home until 8 in the evening. I don’t know where he was before then. The police wouldn’t tell me if they knew anything, but I’ve been… I’ve been a little obsessed with collecting newspapers from that time last year, and I think—no, I don’t know.

I: What is it?

8-B: This sounds crazy even to my own ears, but… there was a very small article about an unidentified man snatching a German Shepherd from one of the properties close to the lakefront. It stood out to me because the McDonald’s was very close by, and I thought it was a weird coincidence. This also may not mean anything, but I also found what I think is a follow up in one of the classifieds in another paper from a week or so later… a German Shepherd had been found mauled by an animal, close to Jägerweg, which is just a street over from where we used to live back then. So, you see, in my head, I thought Lukas…

I: Lukas?

8-B: I thought he had… done something to that dog, maybe.

I: I see.

8-B: Is it weird? That… that I can picture my son hurting a dog, but I cannot imagine he would ever hurt his mother and his girlfriend, despite the fact I saw him attack them with my own eyes? Because… God forgive me for saying this, but the way he tore into my wife… it’s almost as if he was eating her. No, it’s not “as if”… he was eating her. His own mother. Even when I was watching, when I was looking at Liesl on the ground, with her leg all mangled, and Lukas taking bites out of Klara… I remember thinking: “who is that? That is not my son.” But it was.

Evidence - North America / 24
Source: Ottawa Police Service
Date: April 13th, 2008
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Language: English
Translation: N/A

OTTAWA POLICE SERVICE
GENERAL OCCURRENCE REPORT
SERVICE DE POLICE D'OTTAWA

Occurrence No. 2008-179.221
Report status: OPEN
Incident type: Suspicious occurrence
Date / time: 2008-04-13 / 23:45
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Reporting officer: Cst. Jean-Philippe Galipeau

PERSONS INVOLVED

Complainant: Mallory Turcotte

INCIDENT NARRATIVE

On 2008-04-13, at approximately 23:45 hrs, officers attended the Comeau residence in response to a reported domestic disturbance.

Upon arrival, officers observed Gilbert Comeau lying motionless on the rear patio. When Cst. Galipeau attempted to open the patio doors to reach Mr. Comeau, Elyse Comeau became physically aggressive and attempted to prevent the officer from proceeding. Mrs. Comeau repeatedly stated that the doors must remain closed because "it is still out there."

Officers were then able to gain access to the patio, where Mr. Comeau was found unconscious and breathing, with apparent serious injuries. Emergency medical services were requested.

Mrs. Comeau remained highly distressed. Officers attempted to obtain further information regarding this statement but were unable to establish what Mrs. Comeau was referring to. Questioning was discontinued upon the arrival of emergency medical personnel.

COMPLAINANT STATEMENT

Mallory Turcotte stated that she first heard screaming from the Comeau residence at approximately 23:20 hrs. She initially disregarded the disturbance, stating that raised voices and shouting were not uncommon at the residence.

Ms. Turcotte contacted police after hearing repeated screams from a female voice calling for help. She believed the voice belonged to Mrs. Comeau.

ACTION TAKEN

Emergency medical services attended the scene. Gilbert and Elyse Comeau were transported to The Ottawa Hospital for medical assessment.

Officers secured the residence and rear yard pending further investigation. Photographs were taken of the scene, including apparent bloodstains on the rear patio. A preliminary statement was obtained from the complainant, Mallory Turcotte.

Further interviews with Mr. and Mrs. Comeau are pending medical clearance.

DISPOSITION

Investigation remains open. Circumstances surrounding Mr. Comeau's injuries have not been established. Follow-up required pending medical updates and further witness interviews.

From: bbqenthusiast@pm.me
To: fuckthewinchesters@proton.me
Subject: your stupid fucking woodblock
Date: May 24th, 2018 10:16 p.m.

first of all you don't pay me enough for this shit, and no, don't fucking start with your “is easy job bood is just some rich dead dude's private network, is not Interpol again” because this was not just some rich daddy longlegs type. motherfucker was into some weird ass shit and you bet your fucking ass I sent it all to Interpol (yes, except for your stupid fucking woodblock), because discovering snuff movies about human sacrifices is not what I imagined when I decided to drop out of MIT to rage against the machine.

that being said, it pains me to say but you were right, the lot containing your stupid fucking woodblock was sold to the creepy ass greek necromancer lady (still not sure this isn't just fancy speak for necrophiliac btw) from thessaloniki for the whopping sum of EUR 150.000.

congrats on knowing who the fucking creeps of the world are. i don't know how you sleep at night with the weight of this knowledge on your shoulders. hope you've got a good chiropractor on speed dial.

and yes, your friend was also right: it doesn't look like the museum ever had the original of the work at all. kinda makes you think, eh? chain of custody is a bit murky but it seems a large part of this specific lot was smuggled out of germany around 1933, by a jewish family who managed to escape just before shit hit the fan.

the auction catalogue has the grimoire in the same lot as the woodblock so if you can find the sweet old death-obsessed lady who bought a bunch of fucking weird stuff for 150.000 euro then you should be golden.

in unrelated news, never speak to me again.

(I'll see you next month for cassie's baby shower. don't think you can get out of that, especially after the shit I just had to watch with my own two eyeballs.)

Evidence - North America / 41
Source: Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources and Forestry (internal archive)
Original Publication: April 2018
Location: N/A, Ontario, Canada
Language: English
Translation: N/A

INTERNAL MEMORANDUM
Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources and Forestry

To: Conservation and Fishery Wardens and Field Personnel
From: Navjot Kaur, Park Superintendent
Subject: Classification of Reported Bear Attacks and Suspected Poaching

It has been brought to my attention that the number of suspected poaching incidents in our jurisdiction has increased considerably over the last quarter. This increase appears to coincide with a growing number of incidents being reported to the public as bear attacks, despite insufficient evidence to establish that a bear was involved.

As you are all aware, confirmed attacks on humans are exceptionally rare. Nevertheless, several recent reports have identified bears as the likely perpetrators without supporting evidence, contributing to unnecessary public alarm and, potentially, the unlawful killing of local wildlife.

Effective immediately, all reports involving suspected animal attacks must be reviewed by a direct superior before any determination regarding the species involved is made. Where identification cannot be confirmed, the incident must be recorded accordingly.

I would also like to remind everyone that an eyewitness describing an unusually large, unidentified animal does not, in fact, constitute sufficient evidence of a bear attack—especially when the person(s) reporting this sighting were found participating in an illegal forest rave, and were heavily under the influence of hallucinogenic party drugs at the time of the interview.

We cannot continue to attribute every unexplained incident in the forest to bears, particularly when doing so may encourage members of the public to take matters into their own hands.

Please exercise appropriate judgment when filing your reports.

Navjot Kaur
Park Superintendent

Evidence - North America / 42
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/ParanormalEncounters/
Original Publication: April 2018
Location: TBD, TBD, Canada
Language: English
Translation: N/A

r/ParanormalEncounters
u/cens4lyf

I went to school with a werewolf

Listen, I know how this sounds, but I need everyone to keep their opinions to themselves unless the opinions are nice because I KNOW WHAT I SAW. I’m Canadian, and I spent my entire high school experience around this guy and I have amassed a huge amount of evidence. I saw him again last night and it brought everything back, so I just need to tell someone BUT I AM NOT ASKING FOR VALIDATION. I KNOW HE IS A WEREWOLF WHETHER YOU AGREE OR NOT.

Let me present the facts:

1. This guy was always sick during full moons. How do I know this? Because I started keeping track of what days he was gone, and I have a calendar.

2. We used to play hockey together, both centers, and he was very good. Like, supernaturally good. It’s like he could see where the puck would go before the puck itself even had a chance to think “oh, I’m going to get there”.

3. In the locker room or at team dinners, he would go super quiet when someone mentioned girls etc. I asked him why once, and he looked up to the night sky (the full moon had just passed and he looked like shit, super pale and tired) and he said “because I can’t”.

4. Once we all went to his parents’ cottage for a four-day graduation bash/hockey retreat thing and after a few days he told us that night we should not to go outside after dark and not to go into his basement (we were there a lot, he had consoles and a big tv). Guess what time of the month it was?

5. His sense of smell was crazy. The girls in our year turned it into a game, he was so good, they would take their perfume to school and get him to name every ingredient (or like, every scent I suppose?). He was never wrong.

6. One night I was I my car outside of his house and I saw this huge ass fucking dog come out of the woods and go towards the house before getting up on two feet and fucking OPENING THE BACKDOOR and getting in.

So yeah, this is my paranormal encounter.

EDIT: people are asking what happened last night that made me want to write this post. I saw him in town (he moved away after school, he lives in his parents’ cottage, or I guess it’s his now?) coming out of a diner with another guy, so I followed them… after a while the other guy pushed my classmate towards an alley, but when I got there there wasn’t anyone, nothing there at all except for their clothes on the pavement. What the fuck did he do to that guy? You can’t tell me this isn’t suspicious.

EDIT 2: you fucking assholes stop saying I was obsessed with him and stalking him, I was NOT! I’m just a naturally observant person and all these things stood out to me. Like you wouldn’t notice someone that stands out like a sore thumb.

EDIT 3: STOP SAYING I’M HATE CRIMING HIM, AND HE’S JUST GAY! First of all I KNOW he’s gay, how about that? It was a big fucking thing in our group chat when he came out at our high school reunion by BRINGING A GUY WITH HIM. None of what I experienced can be explained away by gayness.

EDIT 4: STOP CALLING ME RACIST, HE’S FUCKING WHITE.

EDIT 4b: I thought about this a bit more and I asked my mom too. He’s not white because his mom is Japanese. But his dad is white, okay? And he’s always been such a fucking white jock dudebro in how he acts, always HOCKEY HOCKEY HOCKEY and like you should have seen him in school, he was fucking failing almost every class and was really bad at math.

EDIT 5: I’m fucking done, y’all are fucking woke ass snowflake bitches.

RARE - Lucas Cranach the Elder ORIGINAL woodcut block (1512)
Price: EUR 850 (+ shipping and handling)

RozanooOOoov81
hi, what is on the back of the woodcut please

H1storyN3rd
Hello! What do you mean? :)

RozanooOOoov81
the back of the woodcut, what is it like? what is on it?

H1storyN3rd
There’s nothing on the back, it’s just a piece of wood :) To be clear, I am not selling prints, I’m selling the actual wooden block.

RozanooOOoov81
ok thanks

━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━

1512 Werewolf Woodblock
Price: EUR 500 (shipping included)

RozanooOOoov81
hi, what is on the back of the woodcut please

SurfNTurf69
your mom’s phone number lol
jk, there’s nothing dude, what were you expecting?

RozanooOOoov81
great
love doing business with you

SurfNTurf69
are you buying?

RozanooOOoov81
i would rather open a can of surströmming in hermetically sealed chamber

SurfNTurf69
wtf does that mean

RozanooOOoov81
means go fuck yourself🖕🏻

━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━

ORIGINAL Cranach the Elder carving (German Renaissance)
Price: EUR 1500 (+ shipping and handling)

RozanooOOoov81
hi, what is on the back of the woodcut please
hello?
wow you really care about selling your “ORIGINAL Cranach the Elder carving (German Reinassance)”
do you know you spelled that wrong btw
not very cash money of you
is been four days, hello???
you know, there used to be a greying tower alone on the sea
and you became the light on the dark side of me
love remained a drug that’s the high and not the pill
but… did you know?
that when it snows?
my eyes become large?
and the light that you shine can’t be seen?
BAAAAABYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
OH I COMPARE YOU TO A KISS FROM A ROSE ON THE GREEEEEEEEY
OOOOOOOH THE MORE I GET OF YOU THE STRANGER IT FEEEEEEEELS YEEEEAH

lucariofreak4freak
shut the fuck up or I'm blocking you

RozanooOOoov81
AND NOW THAT YOUR ROSE IS IN BLOOOOOOOM
hey he lives
what is on the back of the fucking woodcut, PLEASE AND THANK YOU

lucariofreak4freak
it’s nothing it’s just a fucking piece of paper dude

RozanooOOoov81
господи

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woodcut block (cannibal scene ca 1500)
Price: EUR 35 (shipping included)

RozanooOOoov81
hi, what is on the back of the woodcut please

roastpotatoesyum
Hey. Idk it kinda looks like a doodle?

RozanooOOoov81
a doodle of what

roastpotatoesyum
I’m not sure, it’s like a circle with a slash in the middle? It’s carved but not perfectly. I can give you a discount if you want, I just really want to get rid of it, it’s creeping me out.
Hold on, I’ll send you a picture.
[tap to view attachment]

RozanooOOoov81
where did you find this

roastpotatoesyum
My grandma was into some weird occult stuff… I found this in her basement when I was cleaning. She died last month.

RozanooOOoov81
sorry for your loss
what other “weird occult stuff” do you have?

roastpotatoesyum
Some is on my profile here on eBay but some I felt weird about posting… like there’s this crazy thick book that weighs a ton and looks like it’s bound with human skin… I mean it’s probably just leather treated in some particular way but it looks and feels… weird lol

RozanooOOoov81
does it have a triskele on the cover

roastpotatoesyum
I don’t know what that is, but there’s like a symbol with three swirly things.

RozanooOOoov81
does it have illustrations

roastpotatoesyum
Yeah, some. But they’re a little weird, the ink is brown and it isn’t super even, it's all thick in some parts and thin in others. Maybe they’re painted instead? They smell a little off too. Do you want to see it? You seem like you're into this stuff, it’s cool to meet someone that was like my nana :)

RozanooOOoov81
i will buy your grandmother’s collection, tell me price

roastpotatoesyum
Dude that’s a lot of stuff, idk what price to put to it??? There’s a ton of weird shit.

RozanooOOoov81
i will pay. just tell me

roastpotatoesyum
Um what about 1000 euro?

RozanooOOoov81
ok. send me paypal request ilyanov@gmail.com

roastpotatoesyum
Holy shit dude
I just got the money
You’re crazy
I don’t know why you care so much about this stuff but thank you… this is a lot of money for me. And I’m glad it’s all going to someone who has the same hobby as my nana!

RozanooOOoov81
no problem, thanks for selling
yes is very good hobby
write me if you find more, I will pay

roastpotatoesyum
Sure thing buddy :)

Evidence - Europe / 01c
Source: excerpts from the private journal of feldsher Konstantin Petrov, first responder during the night of July 18th, 2004
Location: Konakovo, Tver Oblast, Russia
Language: Russian
Translation: Ilya Rozanov

July 18th, 2004

Tough one today. Got a call out to a dacha in the Konakovo area, dispatch said to get ready for a gruesome scene and they weren’t lying. In my decades as a feldsher I have seen blood, and dead bodies, and distraught people, but I don’t know that I’ve ever seen something like that.

The police got the basic rundown from the neighbor who called it in. Mother and two kids on summer vacation, all good and then she attacks her eldest and presumably flees before the police arrives. Katinka told me they tried questioning the only survivor, the younger kid (just 13) but they could not get anything out of him. They found him lying in a pool of his brother’s blood, holding the decapitated head and just staring at it, so they removed him from the scene and waited for our ambulance to arrive.

Katinka said she had to stop the car on the way back to the station and vomit on the side of the road. What the fuck is wrong with people? This kid is gonna have to spend the rest of his life with this now. Sometimes I hate this job.

━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━

August 5th, 2004

I can’t stop thinking about it.

When we drove the kid to Konakovo Central he was completely catatonic. I couldn't get a word out of him, I knew his name only because the neighbor had told Katinka in her statement. I kept trying to talk to him but he didn’t move a muscle until we got to the ambulance bay. He just looked up to me and said, “where’s mama?”

━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━

November 20th, 2004

The nightmares are getting worse. Vanya told me he can’t continue like this, waking up in the night because of my nightmares. He told me to see a psychiatrist or he’s gonna dump me, but what is the point? A psychiatrist can’t erase the image of Alexei Rozanov’s decapitated, half-eaten body lying in a pool of blood. No one can get Ilya Rozanov’s empty stare out of my head, can’t make me forget his small voice when he asked where his mother was. I tried calling Katinka to see if we could meet up, but I guess work is hitting her even worse than it’s hitting me because she hasn’t replied yet. Maybe it’s better for Vanya if he does break up with me… I can't even get my alleged friends to call me back, why would HE stay?

━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━

January 14th, 2005

I know I shouldn’t have, that it’s not “sensible use of the department's resources” but I looked up Ilya Rozanov. I don’t know why, I guess I wanted to see if he was doing better. I couldn’t find him, though. The last thing I can find, besides Katinka’s report from last July, is an article about Ilya Rozanov winning first prize at the “Lisa Meitner International Young Scientist competition” but even that is from before the attack. Katinka apparently left the force at the end of last year and moved away because she couldn't cope anymore, so I can’t ask her if she knows what happened, but it's like the kid disappeared.

Wherever he is, I hope he’s okay, and that one day he can get over what happened.

u/teamedward81
hi
i read your post on r/paranormalencounters
i want to ask a few questions please

u/cens4lyf
No

u/teamedward81
why no?

u/cens4lyf
For one your username is team fucking Edward 81

u/teamedward81
and yours is cens4lyf and they have not won a stanley cup ever, so my team is better than yours, yes? at least he wins the girl

u/cens4lyf
…
Okay fine.
What do you want to know.

u/teamedward81
you said in your post you are canadian. what province?

u/cens4lyf
Why do you want to know?

u/teamedward81
is not important

u/cens4lyf
Yeah right, I tell you where I'm from and three minutes later I get fucking doxxed. No thanks, I know how Reddit works.

u/teamedward81
i can’t tell you, it’s a secret. and you wouldn’t understand
or believe me

u/cens4lyf
try me

u/teamedward81
why
so you can make fun of me?
no thanks, I know how reddit works.

u/cens4lyf
Look dude I’m sorry
Uh or dudette
I’ve just had a shit time on here since I wrote that post, I guess it’s made me nervous to talk to people.
You can tell me :)

u/teamedward81
is dudette. i’m lily
ok i tell you
i am looking for the werewolf that bit my sister ginger
one night we were in the park and this thing came out of nowhere
and it bit her. and now she is so different, is like she snapped

u/cens4lyf
Christ, that sounds so scary… I’m sorry that happened to you.
You think it’s the same werewolf?

u/teamedward81
i don’t know
is why i ask, because we were in canada

u/cens4lyf
Canada where?

u/teamedward81
i can’t tell you because if I tell you then you will just say that is where your classmate is from
it has happened before

u/cens4lyf
Yeah that’s totally understandable… I’m sorry people are shit…
I’m from Ontario.
Ottawa, to be precise.

u/teamedward81
yes that is where we were too
but you said he does not live in ottawa anymore?

u/cens4lyf
Fuck, really?
What if it’s really him???? Fuck, I knew I was right
Yeah he lives in Lanaudière now, in Saint-Zénon

u/teamedward81
what is his name

u/cens4lyf
Lily you shouldn’t look for him
He’s already attacked your sister, what if he hurts you too?
I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you

u/teamedward81
you are so kind
i bet you are so handsome too
maybe you can protect me, yes?
nothing bad can happen to me if you are there to save me

u/cens4lyf
Of course I’ll protect you
Okay, his name is Shane Hollander
We can drive up to Saint-Zénon and confront him together. Are you in Ottawa now?
Lily?
Hello?

Evidence – North America / 43
Source: Facebook, Saint-Zénon community group
Location: Saint-Zénon, Lanaudière, Québec
Date: May 2018
Language: Canadian French
Translation: Zane Boodram

Saint-Zénon Community Noticeboard
Admin · May 2018

Hello, beautiful people! Just a friendly reminder that with the warmer weather comes increased wildlife activity! 🌞😎⛱️

🚨 We've received several reports of a large animal spotted near residential properties bordering the woods. While we haven't confirmed whether it's a bear, please exercise caution, especially in the early morning and after dark. 🚨

Remember to:

⚠️ secure your garbage bins
⚠️ avoid leaving regular food and pet food outdoors
⚠️ NEVER approach or attempt to feed wildlife (and yes, that includes cute possums as well as our beloved loons!)

🐻 If you do spot a bear, keep your distance and contact the appropriate wildlife authorities.

Stay safe, everyone! 🥰🍁

Comments (164)

Patricia W.
Again? Didn't we have this problem last summer? What are the police doing to prevent this?

Ron K.
They're killing bears on sight. Careful wearing that ugly fur coat of yours while you're outside, Patricia.

David H.
Pretty sure it's just somebody's dog. My wife saw it last week and said it had a collar. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about 🙂

Admin
@Ron K. Ron, please. Do not make me give you another warning.

Source: transcription of audio recording, Shane Hollander stakeout
Location: Saint-Zénon, Lanaudière, Quebec
Date: May 25th, 2018
Language: English
Translation: N/A

[RECORDING STARTS]

I am parked outside Shane Hollander’s residence in Lanaudière and from this vantage position I can see inside the living room and a good portion of the kitchen. I’ve been conducting surveillance on Hollander for approximately 13 hours now and if he really is werewolf he is very good at masking. So far he has had the most boring fucking day I’ve ever seen anyone live through.

He was inside the house when I arrived around 4am. He left to go running about an hour and half later, then came back and unfortunately stayed in a part of the house I can’t see from here. But he did come to the kitchen in just a towel to make himself smoothie and a breakfast sandwich. He was glisteny and wet-looking, so I assume he took a shower. For potentially being bloodthirsty monster, I have to admit that he is nice to look at. Very nice. He has got these dimples above his ass that—uh, not—not that this is relevant at all. Timo, if you are listening to this, just—whatever, nevermind.

[Throat-clearing noises.]

After that, Hollander left the house to buy groceries. I did trail him inside the shop, but from what I can tell he did not buy anything particularly suspicious. On the way out of the store he was stopped by a manager. I started making a separate recording of that because the manager mentioned bears, but after a minute or so it became clear they were talking about hockey, and it wasn’t animal-bears but team-Bears, capital B. So that was really exciting.

Anyway, Hollander has been inside sitting criss-cross-applesauce on his couch ever since he got back. He’s reading something but he has a Kindle so I don’t know what. Uh, I think is maybe not Kindle, maybe a Kobo or some—whatever, Ilya—focus.

The moon is waxing gibbous today so is not like I was expecting this guy to go run naked in the streets and attack people at Super fucking C, but so far this has been one of the most boring stakeouts I have ever done. And I know I should be happy about this, but I just want to fucking find a real one for once. I need to ask—

[Loud knocking noise.]

—fuck shit Christ what—oh. Oh fuck.

[Mechanical whirring noise.]

Male #2 [Shane Hollander]: Hello. You’ve been following me all day. Is there anything I can do to help?

[END OF RECORDING]