Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov

Additional Tags:

Fluff and Crack, but like. with an underpinning of serious issues?, shane is concerned but ilya is doodling their initials in glitter pen, mentions of past spiking of drinks, Ilya Rozanov is Obsessed With Shane Hollander

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-03-03 Words: 2,411 Chapters: 1/1

Wow, the Vodka Here is Different

Summary

"Were you actually roofied one time?" Shane asks. "Because that's a shitty fucking joke if not, and if you were-" He huffs again, but it is a different huff, one not cute enough to make the Top 10 list because it is venturing unpleasantly close to the territory of Shane being actually annoyed, and Ilya doesn't like that nearly as much. Or at all, really. "Is this for real?" 

Notes

Brought to you by: this post, from a lovely au in which Ilya runs a secret (Shane knows about it at this point) stan account where he can say all the things a public figure shouldn't be seen saying. If you would like a breakdown on the roofie/spiked drink sitiuation before you read, please jump to the end notes.

"Ilya. What the fuck is this?" 

Ilya has no idea what the fuck 'this' is because he has just woken up, and because Shane is holding his phone so close to Ilya's face that Ilya's in danger of bumping the screen with his nose and navigating away from whatever it is Shane is demanding he look at. 

He's still in a nest of pillows, so he can't pull away and has to take Shane's wrist and gently push him back and away to get a look at the screen. Twitter finally emerges out of the blur, and after blinking sleep out of his eyes for a moment Ilya is able to see that he's looking at one of his own tweets. 

Well, sort of. This isn't his official account, not his real account. This is 'Lily,' the Shane Hollander stan account he'd made years ago when he'd needed to scream at someone about how badly he needed Shane Hollander to crush his skull between his thighs. The account where he posts things a public figure shouldn't let anyone else see. 

"You know about Lily, Hollander," he says, his voice husky with sleep, because Shane does. Ilya had admitted to it shortly after their becoming official and, after some rigorous negotiating over specifics, Shane had decided it was acceptably safe. Ilya, for all his laissez-faire attitude, does actually know how to be safe and keep secrets. Shane just has difficulty believing this because Ilya doesn't have panic attacks about keeping them. 

Shane huffs. It's adorable. It's one of the items on Ilya's Top 10 Cutest Things Shane Hollander Does When Annoyed list. He isn't sure where it ranks on the list - he considers it when he's falling asleep at night, and he usually can't remember where he left off the next morning. That's fine - he isn't Shane. His lists are allowed to be jumbled messes. 

"Not the account, asshole" Shane says, poking Ilya in the chest, because he woke Ilya up to complain about things, not to make adorably annoyed sounds for Ilya's benefit. "The tweet." 

Ilya obligingly squints at the screen again, though it is far too early for his brain to be making sense of the English alphabet. Really, if Shane wanted to make him read things first thing in the morning... Well, he just shouldn't have. Ilya isn't even awake enough to be horny yet, is still firmly in the fuzzy headspace of being delighted to wake up with Shane's weight on his chest. 

"Ilya," Shane says, in that firm tone that means stop staring at my freckles/glasses/thigh muscles and listen to what I am saying to you. He never seems to understand how much he is asking of Ilya with that tone, but Ilya does his best to be an obedient boyfriend and refocuses on what he's supposed to be reading.

The tweet is from a few months ago and reads one time I got roofied and just rode out the high. said wow the vodka here is different

Ilya reads it twice, to make sure he didn't accidentally say by the way this is actually Ilya Rozanov and in my spare time I like to suck Shane Hollander's dick, though he's pretty sure twitter wouldn't believe him even if he had. The internet is full of strange people who say that Keanu Reeves is a vampire and the American government is keeping aliens in the desert. He has learned you can say anything on the internet if people do not know you are a celebrity. 

Finally, assured that there is nothing in the tweet that breaks any of Shane's lily-account rules, he looks up from the screen and says, "I need to buy a vowel." 

Shane's eyes roll back, another entry on the Top 10 Cutest Things Shane Hollander Does When Annoyed list. David has recently introduced Ilya to Wheel of Fortune, and while Ilya finds the show itself incredibly dull, it has added several new phrases to his vocabulary and increased the number of times Shane does things from the Top 10 Cutest Things Shane Hollander Does When Annoyed list. 

"Were you actually roofied one time?" Shane asks. "Because that's a shitty fucking joke if not, and if you were-" He huffs again, but it is a different huff, one not cute enough to make the Top 10 list because it is venturing unpleasantly close to the territory of Shane being actually annoyed, and Ilya doesn't like that one nearly as much. Or at all, really. "Is this for real?" 

"Yes?" Ilya isn't entirely sure what the correct answer is here, but he hadn't been saying it because he thought it was funny, exactly. A funny story, yes, funny to talk about getting roofied, no. He doesn't think that's going to make sense if he says it aloud though. He's not sure it makes sense in his head. He rummages around in his brain for what Shane might be upset about, because sometimes when he's really serious he gets annoyed at Ilya for making him spell it out. Maybe because his followers on this account thinks Lily is a girl? He's never said that, has made many references to getting hard, but people make name-based assumptions. Ilya supposes that might make the story come across less funny, them not knowing he's actually a six foot tall athlete who can hoist most grown men off their feet. "Sorry, I should not have posted that?" He rubs at his eyes and glances at the date on the tweet again - he can't quite remember making it, but he knows he played a game in Boston around that time, so he's guessing he'd done it while out drinking with Marly. 

Shane huffs again - they're moving back to the cute huff - and sets the phone aside so he can bracket himself across Ilya's chest and look down into his face. It is a very nice view, and not very conducive to Ilya focusing on the conversation. "It's not about the tweet, Ilya. When did you get fucking roofied?" 

"Uh." It is definitely too early for Ilya to be trying to work out dates of something that happened years ago. "Before we started dating?" Sometimes it feels like that's what his life is now - before and after getting to have Shane Hollander. He won't say as much to Shane, but he thinks one of the most compelling arguments for not coming out until after retirement is that maybe Scott Hunter will be dead by then and Ilya will never have to look him in the eye and say I think my life started the day you kissed your boyfriend on the ice, so thank you for that. 

"What happened?" 

Ilya still isn't sure why Shane's upset. Even less sure than he was before, since it apparently isn't about Ilya announcing the event on twitter. "Uh... I got drunk and it felt weird? I didn't even really notice until the next day when Marly was making fun of me for being hungover off one glass of vodka and I said it made me all loopy and tasted weird and he said Roz, I think someone roofied you." That's a very brief summary. The actual conversation had taken much longer and used the word 'bro' a lot.

Ilya shrugs one shoulder as best he can with Shane pinning him down like this. "Is not a big deal." He and Marly had decided the effects of whatever it was must have been lessened by Ilya's size. He'd drank a lot of water and gatorade, taken an extra nap, and been fine.

Shane is staring at him now. His really intense what the fuck, Ilya stare that Ilya still isn't sure what to do with. 

Oh. Maybe Shane's mad because he didn't report anything to anyone? He'd thought briefly about calling the bar at the time, but he hadn't really remembered what the bartender looked like, much less anyone else who might have gotten near his drink. But maybe it had been some scumbag who'd gone on to spike some girl's drink, maybe they'd gotten Ilya on accident and he should have done something to make sure-

"Not a big deal?" Shane demands. "Ilya, you were - Fuck, were you okay?" 

"...Yes? I just said. Didn't even realize until Marly said it didn't sound like I was drunk. I may not even have been roofied, maybe it was just bad vodka or something. Someone dumped their THC into the bottle. Sorry, I shouldn't have made a joke about it." He's awake enough now to know that he doesn't want Shane to be upset about this anymore, wants to move on to the part of the morning where Shane sucks him off or rides him until his brain short-circuits or whatever else Shane feels like doing this morning that isn't being upset about Ilya's badly thought out tweets. 

"I'm not-" Shane takes a deep breath, shuts his eyes. Ilya's catalogued this expression as Shane Hollander Takes a Reset and it means Shane's realized he's approaching something badly and needs to try again. "Ilya, I'm not mad at you. I'm upset that you apparently got drugged one time and didn't even realize it was a big deal." 

For a moment, Ilya just stares at him, trying to parse out his meaning. When realization arrives, it blooms in his chest as something warm that radiates out of his chest and makes him prop himself up enough to kiss the tip of Shane's nose. Shane isn't mad at him, he's mad for him, a distinction Ilya is still pretty lousy at. Shane is worried, upset that someone may have tried to hurt Ilya, even though it's been years and years and Ilya is very obviously completely fine. 

They've been official for more than two years. They spend every possible free moment with each other, texting each other, facetiming each other, and yet Ilya still can't get used to the idea that sometimes Shane worries about him. That sometimes when he's cursing out another player it's because he thinks they checked Ilya into the boards too hard or took a cheap shot, that when he curses out Ilya's old manager - before Yuna Hollander had enough and took over completely - it isn't because he dislikes whatever ads Ilya's agreed to, it's because he thinks Ilya deserves better. Ilya has no basis for this. There a few memories of his mother, I'm not mad at you, you just scared me, but even those are wrapped up in wondering if it's his father she's afraid of, his wrath she's trying to avoid, for both their sakes. 

Shane just fusses and it bewilders Ilya and makes him want to kiss every single freckle on his stupid, beautiful face. 

Okay, so a lot of things Shane does, including exist with that face, make Ilya want to do that. That isn't the point. 

"Is fine, Shane," he says again, more gently, more reassuring, love pounding through his veins. "I'm fine. If someone wanted to hurt me, they didn't drug me enough. And I was with Marly all night. I was safe." 

Shane shakes his head. "You need to be more careful," he admonishes, and he leans down to kiss Ilya's shoulder, to say, silently, it's not you I'm mad at, even if I sound like it. It's just that the person I'm mad at isn't here for me to pummel into dust. "We're famous, and there are some seriously crazy people out there." 

Ilya knows. Yuna's shown him some of the kidnapping threats. Thankfully, Shane is a big guy and would be very difficult to make go somewhere he didn't want to, even if he was completely unconscious. So is Ilya, for that matter, but he doesn't attract crazies the way Shane seems to. Racism, maybe, or maybe Ilya isn't the only person to ever be driven mad by the desire to make hockey's golden boy be a little bad. 

Too bad for them. Ilya got there first. 

"Was years ago," Ilya repeats. "I don't get so drunk I don't notice my vodka tastes funny anymore." 

"Good. Because you being in danger - even if you were fine - isn't funny, Ilya." He bumps their noses together. "Not to me." 

Fuck, Ilya loves him so fucking much. Too much. It's going to burst out of him one of these days and he's going to die of love poisoning with his heart exploded all over their bed. And Shane hardly even wants anything in return, other than the brain-melting orgasms Ilya already loves giving him and the occasional reassurance when his brain starts going too fast to keep up with. What is Ilya supposed to do with that? Where is he supposed to put all this love he's dragging around? 

When he'd started the Lily account, it had been a place to collect pictures of Shane, to talk about how great Shane was at hockey without damaging the rivalry image or get anyone gossiping. Now, when it isn't hosting drunk-Ilya's summaries of youthful misadventures, it's where he shouts into the void about how insanely in love with Shane Hollander he is, because Yuna and David love their son very much, and they are glad that Ilya also loves him, but they maybe don't want to hear about the way the dip between Shane's neck and his shoulder makes him go berserk with lust, or how he wants to drop to his knees and suck Shane's dick every time he corrects Ilya about the correct way to load a dishwasher. He's going to need to shout later about how Shane is a fussbudget - he got that one from Cassie - and how that turns him on so much he thinks maybe he's going to die about it. 

For the moment, he hooks an arm around Shane's waist and flips them over. Shane scowls up at him - Top 10 Cutest Things Shane Hollander Does When Annoyed - and Ilya beams back before kissing him. 

"Watch your drinks when you go out," Shane instructs, words muffled against Ilya's mouth. 

"I promise," Ilya says solemnly. "Now, you woke me up early and I want compensation." 

"Compensation," Shane repeats. "Big word. You gonna show me what it means?" 

Ilya growls into Shane's neck. Is a Smartass to Make Ilya Ravish Him in Bed Harder - Entry Number 1 on the List of Top 10 Cutest Things Shane Hollander Does When Annoyed.

He shows him. He always does.