Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Cassie Boodram, Selena Chouinard, Lisa Hayes (Game Changers), Caitlin Dykstra, Harris Drover, Ottawa Centaurs WAGs Ensemble (Game Changers), Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)

Additional Tags:

Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Post-Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Supportive Ottawa Centaurs (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs WAGs Group Chat (Game Changers), Texting Fic, Autistic Shane Hollander, Freak4Freak Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Ottawa Centaurs as Family (Game Changers), Mentioned Ottawa Centaurs (Game Changers), Humor, Ottawa centaurs found family, 5+1 Things

Language:

English

Series:

Part 3 of home is wherever i'm with you

Stats:

Published: 2026-04-14 Words: 7,269 Chapters: 1/1

gonna make this place your home

Summary

Harris: the sheer number of heart attacks ilya gives me on a daily basis and here you are adding to it
Cassie: omg harris perfect segue
Cassie: GUESS WHO JUST GOT THE NUMBER OF OUR NEWEST WAG!!!!!!
Cassie added Jane to the conversation.

Or, five times Shane Hollander exposes that he's a little freaky in the Ottawa WAGs chat, and the one time it's not him.

Notes

hi so i've been wanting to do a wag chat fic forever and i've ALSO been wanting to do a 5+1 fic for forever so here we are combining both of them !!! this was honestly so so much fun to write also because you know i'll always be a freak4freak hollanov enthusiast 😌

also, there are some OCs in here that appear in the other two works in this series, but they're not required to read to understand this one !!

tldr on leo: he's boston's star rookie and luca's "rival" but they started off more like friends and eventually get together (aka hollanov 2.0 but also not)

usual disclaimer that no part of this was was created with ai bc fuck ai !

hope you enjoy <3

1.

ottaWAGS ❤️‍🔥💋

February 15, 2021

Cassie: OMGOMG

Cassie: SOS DEFCON 1 RED ALERT @EVERYONE

Caitlin: Shit are you okay?? What happened??

Lisa: cassie do you need anything???

Selena: CASSIE ANSWER US WTF

Cassie: fuck sorry guys no no everything’s good

Cassie: sorry 😭

Harris: the sheer number of heart attacks ilya gives me on a daily basis and here you are adding to it 😒

Cassie: omg harris perfect segue

Cassie: (also i’m so sorry)

Cassie: GUESS WHO JUST GOT THE NUMBER OF OUR NEWEST WAG!!!!!!

Lisa: WAIT FOR ILYA ROZANOV???

Harris: 😳

Cassie: 🤭

Caitlin: Holy shit

Selena: THEEE ilya rozanov has settled down…wow wow wow

Cassie: ok guys be cool zane said that ilya told him she’s really private, we don’t wanna scare her away on the first day!!! @sel @lisa this is for you especially

Lisa: BOO YOU WHORE 😔

Selena: this is the wags chat we’re allowed to be insane in here that’s part of the job description

Selena: but fine we’ll tone it down for our newest member ig

Cassie added Jane to the conversation.

Cassie: HELLO JANE!!! we’re so happy to finally meet you 😊 i’m cassie, zane boodram’s wife!

Caitlin: I’m Caitlin, Evan Dykstra’s wife!

Lisa: i’m lisa, wyatt hayes’ better half 😈

Selena: selena but you can call me sel 😙 nick chouinard is my husband!

Harris: Hi Jane, I’m Harris, Troy Barrett’s boyfriend! It’s nice to meet you ☺️

Jane: Hi everyone, it’s nice to meet all of you! Rozanov is my boyfriend.

Selena: oh we know 🤭

Cassie: i’m ngl jane, i miiight have screamed when i found out that rozy has a gf

Cassie: and that he kept you from us for so long 😡

Jane: Oh, sorry that one is kind of on me. It’s…a little complicated to explain, but I live in Montreal plus my job requires me to be a little private about things like this. Ilya’s told me a lot about how great the team and all of you are though! And I’m really happy to be here 😊

Caitlin: You have absolutely nothing to apologize for! We’re just happy you’re here nowww

Harris: ^ What she said! What do you do for work, if you don’t mind me asking?

Selena: …jane?

Lisa: so since it’s been like five mins i’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume her job is on the do not ask list…

Harris: SORRY you don’t have to answer that Jane 😭

Jane: Sorry guys, Ilya was texting me haha.

Jane: I can’t say too much about my job, except that I have to travel a lot for it :(

Cassie: isn’t ilya out with the team at monks rn??

Cassie: WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE

Cassie: ARE YOU WHY HE’S ALWAYS GLUED TO HIS PHONE WHEN HE’S OUT ANYWHERE

Selena: wow cassie you’re really connecting the dots aren’t ya

Selena: gold star for you 🌟

Caitlin: 💀

Cassie: 🖕

Jane: …Oops?

Lisa: LMAO jane i like you already we’re keeping you

Harris: Lisa she’s not a pet

Lisa: i said what i said drover 🙄

Lisa: anyway moving to more important things…

Lisa: soooo jane

Lisa: how did you lock down ilya rozanov 👀👅🍆

Cassie: LISA.

Caitlin: Hey, she held off longer than I thought she would tbh 💀

Selena: you absolutely don’t have to answer if you don’t want to jane!!

Selena: but we are all very curious….

Jane: Haha it’s okay! And I’m not really sure how to answer that, Lisa. We kind of just, I don’t know, kept finding our way back to each other? Until eventually we realized that we didn’t want to be with anyone else. I guess?

Cassie: wait why is that so fucking cute 😭

Caitlin: Yeah that was more wholesome that I expected ngl 😭

Lisa: damn that’s cute af

Harris: In 3, 2, 1…

Lisa: but i was asking more about in the sheets if you know what i mean 👅

Harris: And there it is.

Cassie: omfg lisa quinn hayes i’m about to kick you out of this chat and put you in time out

Selena: not the full government name 💀 lisa my love reel it in

Jane: Oh.

Jane: Wait, is that something you guys normally talk about here?

Caitlin: Sex? Because if so then yes 😭😭 We gotta keep ourselves entertained somehow and unfortunately we have no boundaries here

Lisa: “unfortunately”

Lisa: tell that to the that move i taught you last week

Lisa: i can send the receipts of the texts you sent me after you tried it out if you want proof cait

Selena: LMFAOO

Cassie: we can stop if it makes you uncomfortable though jane! we want everyone to feel comfortable here always

Jane: No, no, it’s just

Jane: I don’t have a lot of people who I can talk to about stuff like that? Well, I guess I have this one friend, but she’s busy a lot. And everyone else who knows about Ilya and me…doesn’t really want to hear about it? So, it’s usually just something I talk about mostly only with Ilya.

Selena: WTFF who doesn’t wanna hear about all the freaky shit ilya rozanov gets into??

Selena: and you jane bc i can tell that you’re also hot as fuck from your vibes 😘

Jane: Thanks, I think?

Caitlin: Definitely a compliment babe! And we’re always here if you do wanna talk

Caitlin: About anything 👀

Harris: You all are the least subtle people I’ve ever met in my life my god

Cassie: ^^^^

↪ Lisa: but i was asking more about in the sheets if you know what i mean 👅

Jane: Does it count as “in the sheets” when all the sheets usually end up on the floor by the end?

Jane: Or if it’s against the wall? Or the balcony door? Or over the sofa and then the counter?

Jane: 🤔

Selena: JANESJKDGDSG

Cassie: oh !

Lisa: FUCK YEA JANE GET ITTTT

Lisa: and yes it counts 😈

Caitlin: I fucking knew itttt

Caitlin: But also

Caitlin: the sofa AND THEN the counter 😭 your stamina…..

Jane: Oh, well, that was all in one weekend.

Harris: WHAT 😭😭

Jane: We have to make the most of the time we have 🙃

Selena: JFC ONE WEEKEND

Caitlin: Gonna make Evan ask Roz for tips ngl…

Jane: Please don’t. His ego doesn’t need any more inflating…

Cassie: you know what jane, you’re gonna fit right in here 🤭

2.

ottaWAGS ❤️‍🔥💋

February 28, 2021

Selena: @everyone cliff marlow

Lisa: SMASH SMASH BE SO FUCKING FR RIGHT NOW SEL

Caitlin: …Smash

Harris: Why is it always hockey players 😭 Can we do celebrities just ONCE?

Lisa: no.

Harris: Fuck you Hayes

Lisa: fuck you back drover

Cassie: @jane for context cause this is gonna happen a lot: harris and lisa have been frenemies ever since harris called the x-squad movies overrated and then lisa said apples were overrated as payback (funny as hell considering she’s a doctor 💀)

Cassie: i promise they do actually like each other

Harris: No we don’t

Lisa: no we don’t

Caitlin: OMG you guys are are so in sync 🤩

Lisa: ignoring that

Lisa: anyway @cass @jane @harris hello hi y’all have not answered the question

Jane: What is the question exactly?

Selena: cliff marlow smash or pass

Harris: Pass he’s not my type

Cassie: reluctant smash ig

Lisa: RELUCTANT?? girl have you SEEN cliff marlow???? the things he could do…..

Caitlin: Lisa I’d like to remind you that you’re happily married to your very own hot af hockey player

Lisa: and??? wyatt agrees with me bffr

Selena: yea that sounds like wyatt 😭

Jane: I’ve never played this before haha. I guess pass?

Selena: NEVER?!?

Lisa: shush that’s not as important

Lisa: JANE HOW CAN YOU PASS ON THE GOD-TIER FINE SPECIMEN THAT CLIFF MARLOW IS

Harris: I would take screenshots of this to show Wyatt, but I feel like that wouldn’t do anything

Cassie: it would not, harris 💀

Jane: I mean, he’s fine? But he’s not Ilya.

Caitlin: 😭 Jane you’re so cute

Lisa: ok ok fine what about scott hunter

Jane: He’s like a hundred years old. Pass.

Cassie: PLEASE you and roz are made for each other 🤣

Selena: MATTI JALO HE’S GOTTA BE A SMASH

↪ Cassie: PLEASE you and roz are made for each other 🤣

Jane: 😊

Caitlin: Shit smashhhh

Lisa: ugh pass

Jane: Pass.

Harris: Guys I don’t think we’re going to get any passes from Jane 😅

Cassie: i’m gonna find one okay this is now my mission for the day

Lisa: ^^

Caitlin: Oh god

Cassie: oh cale wagner

Jane: Pass. His plus-minus is atrocious this season, and his shooting percentage has dropped 3.5% from this time last year. If the Admirals are smart, they would start to look into better options for their starting line.

Harris: Oh—

Lisa: …jane 💀

Caitlin: Oh you’re a hockey FAN fan

Caitlin: Wait this makes so much sense no wonder she’s passing on everyone but Roz, he’s literally the best

Selena: HOLD THE FUCK ON

Selena: i love roz but he is not the best (he is a very close second best though)

Selena: @JANE

Selena: SHANE HOLLANDER SMASH OR PASS

Cassie: YES SEL

Cassie: the hottest man of the league and the best hockey player (sorry roz 😬) jane there’s no way you’re not smashing

Jane: …Pass.

Lisa: OH CMON

Harris: 😭😭 Even I’d smash and I actually never say smash

Caitlin: ^^ He’s not lying this is rare

Jane: He’s alright, I guess.

Cassie: “alright” she says, jane i’m sorry you know i love you but we’re talking about the man who was literally named the hottest hockey player in the mlh

Lisa: no fr i feel like over half the guys on our team would say smash and as far as i know almost all of them are straight 💀

Selena: oh DEFINITELY

Caitlin: Damn Jane if we can’t get you with Hollander, I don’t think we can get you with anyone else either

Jane: Haha

Jane: Why smash anyone else when Rozanov’s the one that can give me six orgasms in one night? 🙃

Cassie: WHATSKDFSDG

Selena: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

Harris: SIX jfc

Lisa: JANEHOLYSHIT AHHH

Lisa: i love having another little freak in this chat 😈

Lisa: my limit’s eight so far

Caitlin: IN ONE NIGHT??? @jane @lisa What the FUCK are Hazy and Roz doing to y’all

Jane: Nothing I didn’t ask for 🤷‍♀️

Lisa: Nothing I didn’t beg for 🥵

Jane: Yeah, that too.

Selena: holy fucking hell

Selena: jane i need to meet you soso bad

↪ Jane: Why smash anyone else when Rozanov’s the one that can give me six orgasms in one night? 🙃

Cassie: good lord i’m still in shock

Lisa: tell bood to up his game cass damn

Cassie: no thanks i might die if i come six times in one night

Harris: ^^ Real 😭

Jane: It’s not that bad honestly, after a while it starts to hurt a little but in a good way? If that makes sense.

Lisa: ah my fellow masochist jane i adore you twin

Caitlin: Y’ALL 😭

Selena: you guys are FREAKY freaky

Selena: i love this for you

↪ Selena: jane i need to meet you soso bad

Lisa: also heavy on this!!! jane are you free this weekend??

Cassie: YES omg you can come to our wine night on friday 🤭

Jane: Oh.

Jane: Sorry guys, I’d love to come, but I won’t be in town. Traveling for work again :(

Caitlin: BOOO

Lisa: BOOO

Harris: It’s okay, Jane, there’s always next time! 😊

Selena: ^ what he said! just let us know when you’re backkk!!

Cassie: ^^ yes to everything said above, you’re always welcome to join us jane!!

Cassie: but also i wanna circle back to smash or pass bc i’m not giving up on my mission

Cassie: however i am changing course bc someone said this to me the other day and i thought about it and realized they’re kinda right

Cassie: @jane patrick swayze smash or pass

Caitlin: No hold on because why does Roz kinda resemble him a little…

Cassie: IM SAYING!!

Lisa: !!!!

Lisa: jane jane jane jane

Harris: Lisa calm down

Lisa: no <3

Selena: you scared her away 😞

Jane: Fuck.

Caitlin: OMG OMG WAIT DID WE DO IT

Lisa: AHHHHH

Cassie: so jane what’s the answer 👀

Jane: …Smash.

3.

ottaWAGS ❤️‍🔥💋

March 12, 2021

Cassie: our boys are KILLING ITTT

Cassie: PLAYOFF BOUND BABYYYY

Selena: 😎

Harris: The locker room has been going wild the last couple of games ngl!!

Lisa: AS THEY SHOULDDD

Caitlin: @Jane Honestly this team neededdd Ilya please tell him thank you bc I’m just so happy to see our men finally get the wins they deserve 🥹

Cassie: no fr ^^ zane didn’t even want to be captain he was so excited when roz came in 😭

Jane: I’ll tell him! He loves being captain and he talks about how much he loves this team all the time 😊

Jane: But unfortunately, Montreal will probably kick you guys out of the playoffs soon…

Selena: EXCUSE ME?

Lisa: YOU’RE A VOYAGEURS FAN??

Lisa: BOOO TOMATO TOMATO 🍅

Cassie: shit i forgot you live in montreal

Caitlin: WAIT

Caitlin: Jane….did Ilya trade to Ottawa….for you?

Harris: OMG

Lisa: holy shit

Jane: Oh, well, I wouldn’t say for me, specifically? But, the distance was…not ideal. Once we talked it out and realized this is it for us, we kind of planned out how to make things a little better.

Cassie: SO YES 😭😭

Harris: God I obviously won’t be telling the guys about this bc WHITWCSITWC, but Jane, I need you to know that the team has like four betting pools running about Ilya’s trade 😭

Jane: What is WHITWCSITWC? Google didn’t really give me anything useful, just some watches.

Lisa: HAHAHA

Selena: “what happens in the wags chat stays in the wags chat”

Selena: our code of conduct 😙

Jane: That’s a very long acronym to memorize. Do you guys type that out every time? It seems a little convoluted.

Cassie: LOL no we basically only say it at some point whenever someone new joins and that’s about it

Lisa: jane i love the way your brain works

Jane: Haha thank you? I don’t get that a lot, actually. Most people think I’m a little weird, I think.

Caitlin: SCREW THEM!!! We love you just the way you are ❤️

Lisa: WHO SAID THAT JANE?? GIVE ME NAMES

↪ Caitlin: SCREW THEM!!! We love you just the way you are ❤️

Jane: ❤️

Jane: And it’s fine, really. Just some…comments that my colleagues make sometimes. I think it’s been getting kind of worse recently :(

Harris: Hostile work environments are the worst 🥲 I’m sorry, Jane

Cassie: if you ever want to rant about your shitty coworkers, the floor is yours!!!

Jane: I don’t really want to talk about it, I think. But thanks guys ❤️

Lisa: in case we don’t say it enough, we protect our wags always!!! so if you ever need help hiding a body, gimme a call 🫡

Caitlin: LISA 😭

Selena: moving on and changing subjects…..

Cassie: HOLD ON

Cassie: sorry for interrupting sel, i’ve been trying to find a good time to add our newest wag and i think right before you say something batshit crazy is perfect

Harris: 😭 Knowing who it is and having met her twice already, I will not disagree Cassie

Harris: She would 100% join in with Sel’s batshit crazy

Lisa: OMFG WHOOOO

Cassie added Isabelle to the conversation.

Lisa: also sel you better remember to continue, i NEED to hear the insane thing you were about to say

Cassie: EVERYONE SAY HELLO TO OUR NEWEST WAG: ISABELLE!!!

Cassie: and @isabelle quick run down: i’m cassie, zane boodram’s wife, selena is nick chouinard’s wife, caitlin is evan dykstra’s wife, lisa is wyatt hayes’ wife, harris is troy barrett’s boyfriend, and jane is ilya rozanov’s girlfriend!!

Isabelle: hey guys 🫶 i’m isabelle, cory young’s gf (ty for the rundown 😭🙏)

Selena: YOUNG??? (HI ISABELLE so nice to meet you, i’m selena!!!)

Caitlin: God the babies are growing up (WELCOME ISABELLE!!! This is Caitlin, btw)

Jane: Hi, Isabelle! (Jane!)

Harris: Hey Isabelle 😊 (Harris!!)

Lisa: ISABELLE HIIII (lisa!)

Lisa: so young finally got his shit together and asked you out 👀

Isabelle: he did 🤭

↪ Lisa: sel you better remember to continue, i NEED to hear the insane thing you were about to say

Isabelle: i’m more interested in what this is about tho 👀👀

Harris: Told y’all 😭

Selena: LOVE YOU ALREADY ISA (can i call you that?)

Isabelle: yes ofc!!

Selena: anyway what i was about to say….

↪ Jane: But unfortunately, Montreal will probably kick you guys out of the playoffs soon…

Selena: im still stuck on this bc not rozanov dating someone that roots for the enemy

Harris: Roz with a Voyageurs fan is kinda wild 😭

Lisa: ok but also consider: this is very ilya rozanov of him

Caitlin: Yeah knowing him, the rivalry’s probably a thing for him…..

Cassie: 💀

Jane: …

Selena: LMFAOO JANE PLS TELL ME YOU’VE WORN A HOLLANDER JERSEY IN BED

Isabelle: is shane hollander really the enemy though….

Selena: YES??

Isabelle: sorry yall im ottawa born and raised im hollander down 😋

Harris: Yeah…

Harris: (I get it Isa)

Lisa: real af this doesn’t leave the chat bc wyatt says he gets terrified when he sees hollander flying towards him on the ice but….

Cassie: shit imagine if we had him on our team

Caitlin: Sorry Jane, I know you’re a voyageurs (🤢) stan, but imagine the cens with hollander??? We’d be unstoppable…

Harris: A pipe dream 😔

Selena: okay guys we’ve gone way off course this is not about shane hollander

Selena: (okay ig it kinda is @jane i notice you haven’t answered the question 👀)

Cassie: 😭

↪ Selena: LMFAOO JANE PLS TELL ME YOU’VE WORN A HOLLANDER JERSEY IN BED

Jane: No.

Jane: You know who has though? 🤔

Lisa: IM DYINGG 💀

Isabelle: ASFDSD

Cassie: JANE YOU ABSOLUTE LEGEND

Selena: fuck you made ILYA ROZANOV wear a SHANE HOLLANDER jersey in bed???

Selena: i can only aspire to reach your level of freak one day jane 🙏

Caitlin: Did you at least wear a Rozanov jersey after to make it up to him 💀

Jane: Of course.

Jane: Sent him a picture of it, too. When we were in different countries.

Jane: Weirdly enough, I had a work meeting at the time and had to decline all his calls.

Jane: Crazy coincidence, I guess? 🤷‍♀️

Harris: I’m—

Lisa: HAHAHAHA girl i love you sm

Selena: 😭😭

Isabelle: hold on taking notes ✍️

Cassie: ^^^ saving this for the next time zane annoys me ngl

Jane: It’s very effective 😊

March 26, 2021

Cassie: Shane, I’m so so sorry it happened like this. If there is anything you or Ilya need, please don’t hesitate to ask. Here for you ❤️

Caitlin: This changes absolutely nothing for any of us, Shane, in case you needed to hear that today ❤️

Selena: we love you shane 🫂 i know things are probably crazy for you right now, but we’re here for you always

Lisa: i meant what i said about hiding a body in case there’s anyone saying stupid shit to you

Lisa: but actually though, you’re one of us, and this doesn’t change that!! love you ❤️

Isabelle: sending you all the hugs i can, here for you 🫂 

Harris: Shane, I can’t even begin to word how fucking shitty this is, and I’m truly so sorry that it came out like this. Reiterating what Cassie said, if there is ANYTHING that we can do to help, please let us know. It doesn’t have to be today, or even tomorrow. We’re here for you whenever you need us ❤️

March 28, 2021

Shane: Hi guys. The last couple of days have been a little hectic, but I’m really sorry for lying to you guys. This is really not how we wanted everyone to find out, and we had actually been planning on telling the team and you guys about us soon. Obviously, it’s a little late for that now, but once again, I’m really sorry.

↪ Lisa: i meant what i said about hiding a body in case there’s anyone saying stupid shit to you

Shane: That might be too many bodies for you to hide 🙂

Selena: i’m gonna ask you something and i need you to be honest

Shane: Okay.

Selena: besides your name and the fact that you said you’re ilya’s “gf”, did you lie about anything else in here

Selena: because i’m fairly certain that the answer is no

Selena: you have NOTHING to apologize for. you and ilya did not owe anyone anything about your relationship until you wanted them to know, not even us. you’re still the same person that you’ve been to us, shane ❤️

Cassie: ^ this!!

Lisa: ^^

Harris: ^^^

Isabelle: ^^^^

Caitlin: ^^^^^

Shane: Oh. Thank you guys ❤️

Shane: Ilya wants me to pass along his thanks as well.

Lisa: ❤️

↪ Shane: That might be too many bodies for you to hide 🙂

Lisa: time to cut up a bitch 🔪

Shane: Haha 🙃

May 2, 2021

Selena: so

Selena: i feel like enough time has passed that we need to talk about the fact that we were fully gassing up shane hollander to his face this whole time

Cassie: SELENA PLS we could’ve carried on for the rest of our lives not bringing that up actually

Caitlin: 💀💀

Harris: We…did do that, didn’t we 😭

Isabelle: im ngl i might’ve had to take several deep breaths after finding out im in a gc with my childhood idol/crush…..

Selena: “childhood crush” lord i feel old 💀

Shane: Same.

Shane: 🙂

Isabelle: SORRYSDSD i’m gonna go crawl into a hole now goodbye

Lisa: LMAO ISA

Lisa: @shane more importantly though can we talk about that whole sending pictures of you in roz’s jersey and then ignoring his calls thing

Caitlin: LISA PLEASE

Shane: No.

Shane: 😈

4.

ottaWAGS ❤️‍🔥💋

July 18, 2021

↪ Cassie: shit imagine if we had him on our team

Shane: [image attached: Shane and Ilya, both wearing Centaurs jerseys and smiling at the camera. The backs are not visible from this angle, but on the arm of Shane’s, a clear 24 can be seen.]

Shane: Surprise 😊

Isabelle: AM I DEAD IS THIS HEAVEN?????

Selena: WHAT THE FUCK

Caitlin: OMG

Cassie: holy shit

Harris: SHANE. SHANE WHAT

Lisa: OH MY GOD

Lisa: (WYATT IS GONNA BE SO HAPPY HE DOESN’T HAVE TO DEFEND THE GOAL AGAINST YOU ANYMORE)

Cassie: LMAO @lisa

Shane: @Lisa Well, I think he still will during practices. Sorry 🤷‍♂️

Selena: okay now that im breathing normally again can we discuss the fact that shane had to go back four months of texts to reply to that

Selena: i love your commitment to the bit sir 🫡

September 14, 2021

Cassie: FIRST BOOD BBQ OF THE SEASON THIS SATURDAY 🚨 MARK YOUR CALENDARS NOW!!!!

Selena: HELL YEAAAA

Caitlin: SO EXCITED 🤭

Lisa: you know what

Lisa: for SOME reason….i got a good feeling about this season

Lisa: 😏

Harris: 😭

Caitlin: I was thinking about that actually and

Caitlin: We find ourselves in a position we’ve never been in before

Cassie: ???

Caitlin: Shane is obviously a WAG…but he is also now on the team…

Harris: Oh fuck

Isabelle: omg

Caitlin: You know who else is on the team but is also now married to someone on the team?

Shane: CAIT NO.

Cassie: sorry shane i think we have to 😭

Cassie: incoming…

Cassie added Ilya to the conversation.

Ilya: hello ladies and harris 😏

Ilya: and hello to my wonderful sexy husband shane hollander 🥵👅🍆💦💗

Lisa: i love this already, welcome ilya

Shane: Ilya.

Cassie: ok perhaps i’m regretting this now

Harris: oh dear lord

Ilya: cassie and harris you know you love me!

Harris: debatable

Selena: the gang’s all finally here 🤭

Caitlin: The emojis LOL

Isabelle: understandable though 🫣

Isabelle: what who said that def not me pls don’t kill me ilya

Cassie: isa girl 💀

Shane: No one is killing anyone.

Shane: One threat and I’m kicking you out of the chat, Rozanov.

Ilya: #strict 🥵

Lisa: LMAOOOO

November 29, 2021

Caitlin: @everyone I need not so serious but also serious advice

Cassie: what’s up babe?

Lisa: 👀

Caitlin: Prefacing this with the fact that Evan is an amazing husband and father in so many ways

Caitlin: In almost EVERY way and this is a very minor thing but when I’m already pissed off, it pisses me off even more

Harris: Interesting thing to preface…

Isabelle: 💀

Caitlin: But good lord the man cannot fucking put a single sock or towel into a hamper

Cassie: LMFAO CAIT

Cassie: a universal fault of men everywhere unfortunately 😔

Selena: ^^ nick was also terrible at it

Selena: and don’t even get me started on the shoes thrown everywhere

Selena: WE HAVE A SHOE RACK FOR A REASON

Isabelle: never been more glad i don’t live with a man…

Lisa: sorry ladies can’t relate wyatt is very particular about the house being clean 😎

Harris: Unfortunately I can relate 🥲

Cassie: to be fair zane’s gotten better after milo

Caitlin: All these texts and not a single piece of advice

Caitlin: Thanks guys

Selena: 😭😭

Selena: ok this might not be the most morally correct method

Selena: i use our girls against him 💀

Harris: WHAT??

Selena: ok that sounds worse than it is i promise

Selena: basically i’ve taught the girls so that whenever they see a sock lying around the house they call out for him until he goes to check on them and then they show him the offending item

Selena: the first couple of times it happened nick was confused af but it got through to him eventually 😌

Lisa: LMFAO? sel that is the funniest thing ever i love you

Shane: That sounds like an effective and efficient strategy, actually.

Cassie: SEL PLS

Caitlin: Wait Sel 👀👀 Might steal that tbh

Selena: lmk how it goes 🫡

Harris: Hmm maybe I need to look into how to train a dog to do that…

Ilya: HARRIS SEND CHIRON PICTURES 🥺🙏

Cassie: the way he only came into chat to ask for dog pictures…

Lisa: yea well what the hell would he contribute to this conversation 💀

Harris: LOL

Ilya: rude.

Lisa: true.

Shane removed Ilya from the conversation.

Caitlin: LMAO SHANE??

Isabelle: PLS IM DEAD

Shane: Sorry, I needed Ilya to not be here for this.

Cassie: are you guys not in the same place rn 😭

Lisa: shane hollander i am very fond of you

Shane: Thanks I think?

Shane: @Cassie No, he is out grocery shopping, I’m at home.

Selena: huh don’t know why but i always thought you guys go grocery shopping together

Shane: We do most of the time. But I had a meeting with a donor for the foundation that Ilya didn’t need to be there for.

Shane: Anyway, Ilya is blowing up my phone, he thinks something happened to it so I have to be quick. Do you guys want to hear the strategy I used or not?

Caitlin: WAIT

Cassie: OMG

Lisa: this isn’t even relevant to me but i’m locked in

Lisa: i feel like i’m going to enjoy this very much

Shane: The first step was bribing him with blowjobs, obviously. It was pretty effective mostly but not completely.

Shane: So the second step was telling him that if he got through the week and there wasn’t a single sock, towel, or any clothing item that I had to tell him to pick up, on Sunday, I would fold the laundry without any clothes on and he could watch.

Isabelle: …what

Selena: is that code for something 😭

Shane: No, Ilya really likes watching me do laundry for some reason 🤷‍♂️

Cassie: LMAO??? ilya “domesticity is my kink” rozanov??

Harris: I don’t even know what to say to that tbh

Caitlin: I’m curious about how many more steps there are in this strategy

Shane: Just one!

Shane: And it’s pretty simple.

Lisa: sex ban

Selena: sex ban!!

Cassie: it’s a sex ban isn’t it

Shane: …No?

Shane: You guys ban sex?

Caitlin: Well…it’s pretty much foolproof most of the times

Cassie: ^

Selena: you’re telling me you’ve NEVER done a sex ban against roz???

Shane: Well, no. That sounds more like a punishment for me than an incentive for him.

Lisa: HAHAHA 💀💀

Harris: Shane 😭

Selena: oops forgot for a sec that i was talking to mr. “it hurts but in a good way”

Cassie: LOL SELENA

Shane: @Selena 😕

Shane: Anyway, the actual third step was I told him if he did it perfectly for three weeks, we could…do something we’d talked about before. Obviously, this is tailored to each person differently.

Caitlin: 🤣

Caitlin: I love that this implies that getting horny while watching someone do laundry naked is NOT tailored to each person and therefore a universal thing

Harris: 😭😭

Isabelle: ykw i’ve seen the state of cory’s room…perhaps i should start the training early…

Cassie: @isa yes!!

Lisa: @shane so are you gonna tell us what the “something” was

Shane: …

Caitlin: You don’t have to answer that Shane 😭

Shane: No, it’s fine. I just don’t know if I want to type it all out?

Lisa: CAN WE GUESS

Shane: You know what, yeah fuck it. Why not?

Selena: OMFG

Caitlin: Handcuffs

Cassie: ropes!

Selena: overstimulation

Harris: You guys are all insane my god

Harris: Blindfolds 🫣

Isabelle: LOL HARRIS

Shane: @Caitlin @Cassie @Selena @Harris Yes.

Cassie: wait. YES TO ALL OF THEM?

Shane: They were all involved, yes.

Lisa: yall aren’t going deep enough (😏), smh do you not remember the against the wall/balcony, over the sofa/counter, and the six orgasms convos???

Lisa: @shane orgasm denial and edging

Shane: …Yes.

Selena: IM GASPING FOR AIR

Harris: I need to put my phone down, Troy keeps asking me why my face is red. Goodbye 😭

Cassie: @harris LMAO

Cassie: but also holy shit shane

Lisa: i could keep going 😈

Shane: Let’s stop there actually.

Selena: 💀

Shane: Anyway, that was my strategy. And it works! No more socks or clothes lying around the house 😊

Caitlin: This has been…an enlightening experience

Caitlin: Much to think about 🫠

Cassie: ykw the laundry thing might very much be just a roz thing but…the other stuff 👀

Shane: Okay, Ilya is getting suspicious now, I’m adding him back. Hope that helped!

Isabelle: 💀

Shane added Ilya to the conversation.

Ilya: what the fuck happened

Cassie: sorry ilya, i think my phone glitched and accidentally kicked you out!

Selena: or maybe you lost service for a sec?? i know that happens to me sometimes and i stop getting texts from group chats 🥲

Lisa: yea happens to everyone at some point roz 🤷‍♀️

Ilya: you are all terrible liars

Ilya: how dare you girlboss, gaslight me and gatekeep wags chat from me

Isabelle: LMAO??

Caitlin: Who is teaching you these words 😭

Ilya: is not important

Shane: It’s the rooks, every time they come over, Ilya learns another new phrase from them and doesn’t stop saying it all week.

Shane: @Cassie Can you tell Bood to make them all do bag skates tomorrow?

Cassie: 🫡 i got you

Ilya: betrayed by own husband 😧

Ilya: is ok, i know him very well

Ilya: he was one to kick me out to tell you all his three step plan on how he got me to stop leaving socks and clothes everywhere, yes?

Lisa: …

Selena: …

Caitlin: …

Cassie: …

Isabelle: …

Harris: …

Ilya: did he tell you about vibrator 😈

Shane: ILYA.

5.

ottaWAGS ❤️‍🔥💋

March 8, 2022

Cassie: @EVERYONE NEW WAG ALERT!!!! (not like we all haven’t already met her lol)

Cassie added Camille to the conversation.

Cassie: HEY CAMILLE welcome to the wags!

Camille: hi yall, i’m connor holmberg’s gf!! 😚

Isabelle: and lapointe’s sister 💀

Lisa: LMAOO welcome girl!!

Caitlin: The rookies get messier every year 😭

Camille: don’t worry jacob has no control over who i date

Camille: and there’s a reason why brother’s bsf is so popular 😌

Selena: HAHA you’re so fun camille 🤭

Harris: Hi Camille!!

Shane: Welcome Camille! And this reminds me, I forgot to do this yesterday.

Shane added Leo to the conversation.

Leo: hello ladies and harris 😎

Leo: and hi shane 😊

Harris: Wow. You guys see it too, right? It’s not just me??

Lisa: almost word for word damn

Selena: 💀

Ilya: hi camille welcome to wags!

Ilya: is very exclusive

Ilya: everyone needs to pass background check

Ilya: oh! looks like someone didn’t pass

Ilya removed Leo from the conversation.

Cassie: ILYA

Selena: HAHAHAHA

Shane: Ilya. Grigoryevich. Rozanov.

Lisa: the full government name 💀

Ilya: sorry

Ilya added Leo to the conversation.

Shane: Sorry about that, Leo. Welcome back!

Leo: it’s ok! i know certain old men can’t control their jealousy, esp of younger, hotter, and better hockey players 😊

Camille: LEO ARE YOU TRYING TO DIE

Isabelle: z reel it in PLS

Caitlin: This chat is gonna be a warzone soon 😭

Harris: Dear god there’s two of them

Ilya: never say that again harris or i will tell troy you will be joining us for his bachelor party

Selena: 💀💀

Harris: Okay shutting up 🤐

Cassie: guys i think we all have too much blackmail on each other

Lisa: there’s never too much!!

Leo: none of you have seen luca’s collection actually

Leo: the things i know 😈

Lisa: BOY SPILL!!!

Leo: no sorry i’ve been sworn to secrecy

Camille: boo you whore

March 24, 2022

Shane removed Ilya from the conversation.

Shane: Hi, guys. Sorry for removing Ilya, but I need some advice.

Leo: oh? about what 👀

Isabelle: 👀

Selena: oh ilya’s gone?? we’re here what’s up!!

Cassie: we’re all ears!

Shane: I remember you all brought this up before but

Shane: How do you implement a sex ban?

Caitlin: ROZ IN THE DOGHOUSE 😭😭

Harris: LOL

Lisa: SHANE LMFAO YOURE SO FUNNY

Leo: ah, i can’t help with this

Leo: unfortunately 😈

Cassie: shane what did he do LMAO

Shane: Nothing big.

Shane: I just want to…try something out.

Selena: shane hollander you do not implement a sex ban for something small

Shane: Oh. You don’t?

Shane: Sorry guys, I’ll add Ilya back.

Lisa: HOLD ON

Selena: STOP STOP

Selena: I WAS KIDDINGSDFS

Isabelle: 😭😭😭

Shane: Oh haha 😅

Selena: i’m very curious of how this will end ngl

Caitlin: You know they say curiosity killed the cat

Camille: but satisfaction brought it back 😜

Lisa: but satisfaction brought it back!!!!

Lisa: jinx 😎

Shane: Guys?

Cassie: sorry shane! just tell ilya that until he does what you’re trying to get him to do (or stops what you’re trying to get him to stop) there will be no…touching

Cassie: or anything else

Selena: most importantly though: YOU MUST STAY STRONG!!!

Caitlin: ^^

Lisa: the hardest part ngl

Shane: Oh. That’s it?

Shane: So there’s no, like, rules or anything?

Harris: The only rule is no sex

Cassie: ^ exactly!

Shane: I see.

Shane: Thanks 🙂

Shane added Ilya to the conversation.

Leo: [image attached: A TV screen of NHL 22 is loaded up, and Leo is clearly playing for the Cens, as Shane Hollander. A hand holding a controller is seen at the bottom.]

Leo: oh hi @shane 😁

Selena: leo zicari 😭

Isabelle: i can’t stand your ragebaiting ass @zicari 🫩

Shane: 😅

Ilya removed Leo from the conversation.

Shane added Leo to the conversation.

Caitlin: Here we go again, this is prime entertainment ngl 😌

March 27, 2022

Lisa: so how’s everyone doing

Lisa: everyone having a good day?

Cassie: …yes?

Harris: I want to say yes, but I’m scared of where this is going

Caitlin: ^^

Lisa: you should be scared of me drover

Harris: 😒

Lisa removed Ilya from the conversation.

Selena: ohh i see now LOLL

Cassie: LMAO

Lisa: @shane any updates from you? about a certain ban?

Caitlin: You know, it’s quiet in here without all the rookie wags

Caitlin: It’s kinda weird

Cassie: was about to say 😭

Shane: They went to watch a movie with all the rooks.

Shane: And Boston’s playing right now.

Shane: @Lisa No.

Harris: What do you mean no??

Selena: explain??

Shane: The ban didn’t work.

Cassie: LOL??

Lisa: you caved didn’t you

Lisa: oh hollander

Shane: Not exactly.

Caitlin: so you didn’t cave 👀

Shane: No, I did.

Shane: Well.

Shane: Remember when I said it was nothing big?

Shane: Ilya didn’t…actually do anything?

Shane: I just wanted to

Shane: Try something, I guess.

Cassie: OH MY GOD

Selena: HAHAHA

Lisa: shane middle name hollander

Lisa: did you try to implement a sex ban with your husband just bc you were feeling BRATTY

Caitlin: i’m crying 😭😭

Harris: oh—

Cassie: “middle name” is taking me out

Shane: …Maybe?

Lisa: ASFSDF

Lisa: and how did that work out for you hon

Shane: …

Shane: 🙃

Shane: I might be wearing a neck guard at practice tomorrow

Selena: SHANE HOLLANDER YOU BEAUTIFUL ICON

Cassie: this is so fucking funny omfg zane keeps looking over at me bc im WHEEZING and i can’t say a word

Caitlin: same 💀

Lisa: shane next wags wine night i NEED to have a conversation with you when we’re both wine drunk

Lisa: for no reason in particular but also for a very particular reason 😚

Shane: Okay 😊

Harris: Wow

Harris: This has been a journey

Caitlin: ^^ Never a dull moment in this chat

Selena: adding ilya back btw

Selena: i think it’s so funny how often shane or ilya get kicked out for a bit while we talk to the other one

Cassie: this has never been a problem any wags chat has had to overcome okay we’re doing our best!!

Selena added Ilya to the conversation.

Ilya: hello i see you added me back

Ilya: was sex ban your idea my lovely fellow wags?

Ilya: and i will know if you lie to me

Shane: Ilya.

Lisa: oh so what if it was roz

Lisa: i’d say you won in the end anyway

Cassie: how does he always know 😭

Ilya: because i know shane 🤣

Ilya: @lisa yes i did 😈👅🍆

+1.

ottaWAGS ❤️‍🔥💋

April 23, 2022

Shane: Hey guys, can we get a headcount for WAGs night this Friday? Me and Ilya are trying to plan out our grocery list

Cassie: me!!

Lisa: will most likely be there, unless i get put on a last minute shift again 🥲

Caitlin: I’m in!

Isabelle: will be there!!

Harris: Yess!

Camille: yep!

Leo: hey rozanov since you’re rich and everything wanna fly me out for wags night 😛

Selena: 😭

Selena: count me in shane!!

↪ Leo: hey rozanov since you’re rich and everything wanna fly me out for wags night 😛

Isabelle: you’re also a rich hockey player, in case you forgot…

Ilya: @zicari no.

Leo: sorry guys can’t make it anyway

Leo: wanna know why 🤭

Ilya: no.

Lisa: 👀

Caitlin: 👀

Leo: MY BF IS COMING TO TOWNNN 😍

Selena: okayy i see you luca 😉

Shane: Have fun with Luca, Leo! And everyone else, thanks for the headcount! See you Friday 😊

April 25, 2022

Caitlin: @Shane @Ilya I’m sorry, I’m gonna need to cancel for Friday

Caitlin: My parents decided to do a spontaneous visit and now somehow the whole family is booked for a trip to Toronto this weekend 😭

Selena: 🥲

Selena: we’re gonna miss you girl

Shane: It’s okay, we understand! Hope you have a good time with your family 😊

Ilya: is ok, but only on condition that you record video of you and evan saying “fuck dallas kent” in toronto and send to me

Cassie: LOL

Harris: Ilya 😭

Camille: not ilya sending you on side quests

Caitlin: Done 🤣

↪ Selena: we’re gonna miss you girl

Caitlin: You guys better live text my fomo will kill me otherwise

Lisa: we got you cait 🫡

April 27, 2022

Cassie: OPWN DOIE

Shane: Cassie, are you okay?

Selena: ???

Lisa: wait i think she’s telling you to open the door

Shane: Oh.

Ilya: you were right @lisa 🤣

Cassie: thank you lisa you’re a queen

Cassie: i almost dropped all the cookies trying to type that 💀

Lisa: always my love ❤️

Lisa: and i’ll be there in ten btw

Isabelle: running a little late, me and cam will be there in 20!

Harris: [image attached: Selfie in Shane and Ilya’s living room featuring Harris, Cassie, Lisa, Shane, Ilya, Isabelle, Camille, and Selena. Most of their faces are slightly flushed.]

Harris: CAITTT AND LEOOO

Harris: WE MISS YOUUUU

Caitlin: AWW I miss you guys ❤️

Selena: [image attached: Lisa and Shane sitting on one of the sofas, engaged in a very serious conversation, by the looks on their faces. Ilya and Harris are in the background, bent over and looking at something on Harris’s phone.]

Selena: lisa and shane are in fact having that wine drunk convo 😝

Selena: [image attached: Lisa and Shane have made it to the floor in front of the sofa, but are still talking. Both of them are clearly tipsy, and there is a wide grin on Shane’s face. Ilya is sitting on the sofa behind Shane, laughing with Camille, Isabelle, and Cassie. Shane’s head is resting against Ilya’s knee.]

Caitlin: PLEASE

Caitlin: What I wouldn’t do to hear the shit Lisa and Shane are saying rn 💀

Cassie: trust me you don’t wanna know

Cassie: shane was saying something and ilya just leaned over and covered his mouth to stop him before whispering something in his ear 🫩

Lisa: i did in fact hear what was said

Ilya: oh did you hayes?

Shane: But Lisa it was in russian? do you know russian??

Lisa: no 😭

Caitlin: LMAO

Isabelle: 😭

Camille: LOLL

Shane: ok good 😊

Caitlin: The way I can tell that Shane is tipsy from the way his proper grammar deteriorates…

Ilya: YES IS TRUE!!!

Ilya: is great measuring tool 😎

Cassie: [video attached: Selfie view of her, Selena, and Lisa holding wine glasses with tears in their eyes. The camera then rotates to show that they’re looking at a picture wall, but it zooms in on one of them: a very young Shane and Ilya from their CCM shoot back before their rookie season; both of them are mid-laugh.]

Caitlin: Oh 🥹

Selena: THEY WERE JUST BABIESS 😭😭😭😭

Caitlin: I see you guys have made it to the crying part of the night

Caitlin: Considering the fact that you have ALL seen this picture at least five times before 💀

Lisa: JUST BABIES CAIT

Lisa: BABIES.

Shane: we werent babies we were 18 actually! so lisa you’re wrong

Cassie: im gonna cry again

Ilya: is funny when i am the most sober person in room

Ilya: 🤣

Cassie: [image attached: Everyone has migrated to the living room again. Shane and Ilya are snuggled together on one of the sofas, Shane laying horizontally with his head in Ilya’s lap. Camille and Isabelle are on the floor near them, Camille showing Isabelle something on her phone. Lisa is knocked out on the loveseat, a blanket covering her. Harris and Selena seem to be mid-conversation on the other, longer sofa.]

Cassie: winding down

Cassie: don’t think anyone is going home tn 💀

Caitlin: Lisa 😭😭

Ilya: yes no one is going home, you will all stay here we have space

Selena: okay im two seconds from passing out on this comfy af bed GN

Camille: gn yall i had sm funnnn

Harris: ^ Same to both, good nighttt 🫡

Isabelle: gn sleep tight 😛

Cassie: good nightt

Caitlin: GN guys!

Leo: amo i can’t find the handcuffs or the toy we used last night where did you put them????

Selena: AND SUDDENLY IM WIDE AWAKE

Cassie: OH??

Caitlin: leo 😭

Isabelle: HAHAHA

Shane: oh

Ilya: zicari. what is the meaning of this.

Leo: FUCK

Leo: SHIT FUKC

Leo: you saw nothing!!

Leo: 😵‍💫 this is all just a dreammmm, go back to sleepppp 😵‍💫

Camille: LMFAO?? z be so fucking fr

Harris: I don’t know whether to laugh or cry

Cassie: i can’t wait for us to see all of this in the morning when we’re sober

Selena: yea im crashing again but leo we WILL be talking about this tomorrow 😈

Leo: luca’s gonna kill me 😔

April 28, 2022

Lisa: WTF I MISSED ALL OF THIS LAST NIGHT???

Lisa: how dare you guys not wake me up for this 😭