Summary:

Ilya is married. He is married to Shane and has Shane in their bed and their house every day. He has Shane as a part of his life more fully than he ever has. People know about them. He holds Shane's hand in the grocery store without Shane pulling away. They are on the same team, getting ready to share the ice for a whole season.

Ilya has everything he'd been longing for over the past four years. Maybe longer. Probably longer.

Ilya has a hole in his chest. The edges push aside his heart and lungs, digging up under his ribs so everything feels tight and cramped while the core of his being vacillates between aching and emptiness.

In which Ilya collects pills, distracts Shane, and has a great time doing it.