Summary:

This whole fic was caused by a Threads post (https://www.threads.com/@_sweet.rosy_/post/DXm1DzZlfbs , hopefully that link works?) asking what would happen if a rl Shane and Ilya lookalike contest happened and Ilya crashed out having to watch fake-Shane and fake-Ilya have a romance while he and real Shane are still locked in the closet.

This concept needed to be explored, clearly. The original post called for a one-shot, which this isn't quite, but it shouldn't get too long, either.