Preface
Call Me Maybe
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/77290071.
- Rating:
- Teen And Up Audiences
- Archive Warning:
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Categories:
- Gen, M/M
- Fandom:
- Heated Rivalry (TV)
- Relationships:
- Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Jackie Pike & Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov & Original Character(s)
- Characters:
- Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, Jackie Pike, Original Characters
- Additional Tags:
- Texting, WAG Ilya Rozanov, Humor, Friendship, canon-typical hockey injuries
- Language:
- English
- Stats:
- Published: 2026-01-11 Words: 2,718 Chapters: 3/3
Call Me Maybe
Summary
Ilya's continuing adventures as a member of the Montreal WAGs group chat.
Notes
This is my first foray into the Heated Rivalry fandom and is very different from my usual type of writing, but I had a lot of fun with it and I hope you do too! This is also my first attempt at using work skins, so please let me know if you see any issues!
- Inspired by please leave a message by Ravenesta
- Inspired by How to Make iOS Text Messages on AO3 by CodenameCarrot, La_Temperanza
- Inspired by All the Emoji by CodenameCarrot
Chapter 1
MTL WAGs
Today 6:39 PM
@Rachel I will fuck up your ugly ex boyfriend tonight
Rachel
Lol what
I start fight
Break his nose
Will make him more pretty
Rachel
Ilya babe I’m saying this with nothing but love in my heart but what the hell are you talking about
Bridget
Lol I think Boston is playing San Francisco tonight
Yes
Marron cheat on you yes?
Will fuck him up for you
Priya
OMG
Bridget
Yesssss ilya get his ass
Hanna
tearthebitchapart.gif
Olivia
Ilya I am in romantic love with you
Sorry am taken
Dating very sexy hockey player
Second best in league
Priya
Lmaoooo
Jane
Today 6:48 PM
Tell gagnon his girlfriend is in love with me
What?
I am obviously not going to do that.
Also, what?
I have receipts
Who taught you that phrase?
Wags chat
I am one of the girls :)
Oh my god
Today 6:49 PM
Wait aren't you playing in like ten minutes?
MTL WAGs
Today 6:49 PM
Rachel
What time does this game start? Aren't you supposed to be getting ready right now?
Am getting ready now
Talking about your bad boyfriend is
Wait
Rachel
?
Needed google translate
Talking about your bad boyfriend is INSPIRATIONAL
You are too hot to date bad hockey player
Makes me excited for game
To destroy him
Hanna
ONE OF US
Olivia
Ladies I've said it before and I'll say it again I am so glad we added Ilya to the wags chat god bless
Priya
(White Up Pointing Backhand Index ≊ Backhand Index Pointing Up)(White Up Pointing Backhand Index ≊ Backhand Index Pointing Up)(White Up Pointing Backhand Index ≊ Backhand Index Pointing Up)
Rachel
In all seriousness Ilya as much as I love this energy please don’t go pick a fight for my sake. He’s not worth the time you’d spend in the penalty box
:(
Olivia
She has a point, that’s five minutes you could spend scoring goals instead
:)
Ok I just check him extra hard instead
Hanna
You are not always checking hard????
Can go harder
Priya
Is that what you say to hollander in bed
Olivia
GIRLLLL
Hanna
(Face With Tears Of Joy )(Face With Tears Of Joy )(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Yes :)
Priya
OMG
MTL WAGs
Today 8:24 PM
Priya
Holy shit he wasn't kidding
Hanna
!!!!!!!!!!!
Bridget
I think I felt that hit through the tv screen
Olivia
Marron looks PISSED
Priya
Oh my god Rozanov is such a menace
Olivia
Look at that SMILE he knows what he's doing
Hollander come get your man
Bridget
Are you seeing this @Rachel??????
Rachel
I'm seeing it
Bridget
How does it feel to watch Ilya fucking Rosanov turn your cheating ex into a pancake against the boards lmao
Rachel
Very satisfying, but it would feel better if he scored a goal at some point before the period ends. I hope he’s not letting this distract him from the game
Today 8:27 PM
Rachel
Oh
Nvm
Priya
Lol
Hanna
Nice fucking goal hot damn
Bridget
Yeah I don't think he's too distracted lol
Today 10:08 PM
I am good multitasker :)
Chapter 2
Jane
Today 6:12 PM
Good luck tonight!
Thanks
You too
Give scott hunter a kiss for me
No, Ilya, that's gross.
Why gross?
Because he's Scott Hunter!
It would be weird
Homophobic
I can't be homophobic, I'm gay.
Then give Scott Hunter a big gay kiss on his beautiful rugged old man face
Why are you like this?
You love me :)
No I don't.
Yes you do :)
I hate you.
Homophobic
MTL WAGs
Today 7:08 PM
Bridget
Ugh I know we like Scott Hunter now but could he give mitty a fucking break
Caitlin
Ikr, how many shots on goal was that?? It’s been like ten minutes, can he chill
Hanna
So hard to be an ally when his team is kicking mtls ass(Pensive Face )
Bridget
Lol I don't know if you can make that joke hanna
Hanna
I take it back if we beat new york
Today 7:11 PM
Caitlin
BOOOOOOOO
Olivia
What the hell was that call????
Hanna
REF U SUCK
Bridget
Lol look at ben in the penalty box he looks so grumpy
Priya
That's the face he makes when I tell him no blowjob
Caitlin
LMAO
Dani
Oh fuck
Priya
?
Olivia
What happened?
I didn't see anything
Dani
Is anyone else keeping an eye on the boston game?
Priya
No why?
Dani
Ilya just went down
Cameras cut away so I couldn’t see how bad it was but there was blood on the ice and he didn’t just pop right back up like they do when it’s no big deal
Caitlin
Oh shit
Did they have to carry him off the ice?
Dani
I don't know they're going to fucking commercials
I know why they do it, the guys don’t need to be on tv when they’re hurt, but I fucking hate this
Olivia
Found someone live tweeting from the arena, they’re saying the medics came out with a backboard
Caitlin
Not good
Priya
Maybe they're just being cautious?
Caitlin
Maybe
Bridget
Does Shane know?
Priya
He can't, he's on the ice right now
Bridget
Someone has to tell him at the end of this shift
He's Ilya's emergency contact right?
Jackie
Yes, but they won't be able to get through to him while he's playing
No phones on the bench
Bridget
Shit
Olivia
Does anyone have coach's number? Or any of the staff? Maybe Rob?
Jackie
I do but they don't usually answer during a game
I'll try him
Rob
Today 7:17 PM
Hey Rob, sorry for calling in the middle of a game, I know you guys have your hands full! But it’s really important that someone gets in touch with Shane. Can you please tell him that I said Lily is having a medical emergency and he needs to check his phone?
MTL WAGs
Today 7:19 PM
Jackie
No answer
Olivia
Shit
Jackie
I left a message with Rob, hopefully he'll check his phone at the next break
Caitlin
Anything new on the live coverage?
Dani
No announcement but Ilya hasn't come back out to play
Caitlin
Oh no I hope he's ok
Bridget
I know one of the boston wags, I'll text her
Priya
???
Bridget
We met back when Sasha and Jake were both playing for Florida, still swap messages sometimes
I'll see if she knows anything
Jenna
Today 7:25 PM
Hey, kind of a random question, but I was watching the game and I saw Rozanov went down a few minutes ago. Is he doing ok?
Hey Bridget
Yeah that's a random question
I know, sorry. He's kind of a friend of a friend and we're just worried
No need to apologize! I just feel kind of weird telling you?
Sorry, this is really strange
Feels like private info, like I shouldn't spread it around outside the team?
Absolutely, I get that. I really don’t need details, I’d just feel a lot better if I knew how serious it was and if anyone had been able to get in touch with his family
Today 7:37 PM
Jenna? Still there?
It was pretty serious. The team medic went with him in the ambulance and they’re trying to get ahold of his emergency contact but apparently they’re out of town, it’ll be a while before they can get here
Thank you so much Jenna, I really appreciate this
No problem. Sorry I can't tell you more
Don't worry about it, it's way better than not knowing anything
Someday I want to hear all about how you became rozanov's friend of a friend
Lol it’s a long story and someday I would love to tell you, but you know how it is with the wags chat
Ah, the sacred vows of secrecy. I know the drill
I owe you one Jenna, seriously. Let's get drinks next time you're in mtl!
For sure!
MTL WAGs
Today 7:41 PM
Bridget
Ok I talked to Jenna, she was worried about privacy and couldn’t say much but she did tell me that she thought it was pretty serious. Sounds like they haven’t been able to get in touch with Ilya’s emergency contact yet but the team medic went to the hospital with him so at least he’s not by himself
Hanna
Thank god for fucking jenna
Olivia
Should we try calling Shane's parents if he's not going to be reachable until the game is over?
Jackie
Maybe
I've got Yuna's number, I'll try her
Rob
Today 7:17 PM
Hey Rob, sorry for calling in the middle of a game, I know you guys have your hands full! But it’s really important that someone gets in touch with Shane. Can you please tell him that I said Lily is having a medical emergency and he needs to check his phone?
Today 7:45 PM
Thanks Jackie, I’ll let him know
MTL WAGs
Today 7:53 PM
Priya
Wait Shane's not on the bench anymore
Did anyone see him leave?
Olivia
No, he must have gone when the cameras were pointed somewhere else?
Caitlin
God I hate this, I wish it was a home game
Olivia
Same I really want to be there right now
Dani
It's a good sign though right? Jackie's message must have gotten through, I can't think of any other reason Shane would walk out on a game
Bridget
Jackie you going to try calling him?
Today 7:59 PM
Bridget
@Jackie?
Today 8:13 PM
Jackie
Just got off the phone with Shane, he's trying to get a rental car, going to drive to Philly asap
Bridget
oh thank god
Caitlin
Does he know how Ilya's doing?
Jackie
Shane didn't get a lot of details yet but apparently he's going in for surgery on his jaw. Puck hit him right in the face
Hanna
Fuck
Olivia
God I hope he's ok
Priya
Sounds like definitely a season ender at the very least, he's going to be so disappointed
Olivia
Fuck I can't even think about that right now
Priya
Sorry
Old habits
I spend too much time with hockey players
Olivia
No it's ok I'm sure Ilya's thinking the same thing
If he's awake enough to be thinking about it I mean. Probably not if he's about to get surgery
Caitlin
Do we know when we'll get an update?
Jackie
I asked Shane to text me when he could but it'll be at least another hour or two before he gets to the hospital. I don't know how long the surgery will be
Caitlin
I wish someone was there with him. I know you said the team medic went but still
Jackie
Me too
Jane
Today 6:12 PM
You love me :)
No I don't.
Yes you do :)
I hate you
Homophobic
Today 8:48 PM
I'm coming
MTL WAGs
Today 10:23 PM
Jackie
Heard back from Shane, he made it to Philly. Ilya's out of surgery, doctors said it went well, no complications. Should be standard recovery
Bridget
Thank fucking god
Olivia
Jesus that was a long wait
Caitlin
I know, was kinda killing me
Dani
Thanks for the update Jackie!!!!! It's a big relief
Jackie
No problem, Shane asked me to pass it along if anyone asked, I think he didn't want his phone blowing up while he's trying to be there for Ilya
Bridget
How did Shane sound?
Jackie
Shaky, but better than he did the first time we talked. I think this scared the shit out of him to be honest
Caitlin
No kidding, scared the shit out of me and I'm not even dating the guy
Hanna
What a fucking night
Olivia
(White Up Pointing Backhand Index ≊ Backhand Index Pointing Up)(White Up Pointing Backhand Index ≊ Backhand Index Pointing Up)(White Up Pointing Backhand Index ≊ Backhand Index Pointing Up)
Priya
Mtl won btw
Tied through ot, Hayden wrapped it up in the shootout
Olivia
Oh shit I wasn't even watching the end of the game
Caitlin
Me neither
Bridget
Thanks for the reminder, I told Sasha I'd call him after the game, almost forgot
Priya
(Thumbs Up Sign ≊ Thumbs Up)
Dani
I've got a feeling there's going to be a lot of that going around tonight
Olivia
How do you think the boys will feel about us missing the end of their game because we were all busy worrying about boston's star center (Face With Tears Of Joy )
Caitlin
Don't tell Ilya that he'll be insufferable
Priya
Babe he's in the wags chat he's going to read all of this
Caitlin
Oh shit
Chapter 3
MTL WAGs
Today 4:21 PM
Hello wags chat
Hanna
ILYAAAAAA
Olivia
Hi Ilya!!!
Caitlin
Welcome back, we missed you!
Bridget
<3<3<3
Priya
Omg hi Ilya how are you?
On lots of drugs (Thumbs Up Sign ≊ Thumbs Up)
Bridget
Lol I'll bet
Jaw wired shut
Fucking ouch
Hanna
Yikes
You want selfie?
IMG_2769
Priya
Holy shit rozanov
Dani
Oh my god
Bridget
When did you take that picture???? Is that from the hospital???
No I take it just now
Is better than before
Priya
That's BETTER???
Caitlin
Jesus fucking christ
Looks crazy yes
Bridget
It sure does
Jackie
Is there anything we can do to help, Ilya?
Tell shane my legs are not broken
Jackie
?
He thinks I can't walk to take piss
Hanna
Lol
Sarah
Aw he's just worried about you
That must have been scary for both of you
More scary for him
I sleep through most of it
Not really awake in ambulance and too much drugs to be scared later
Sarah
I think you're downplaying it but I'm going to let it slide because that selfie was fucking horrifying
Thanks I am very pretty
Jackie
How about we bring you dinner once the wires come off? I bet you'll be missing solid food before too long
YES
Already miss solid food
One more smoothie will kill me
Jackie
Lol it's a date then
Will tell pike I have date with his very sexy wife
Caitlin
Oh my god Ilya (Face With Tears Of Joy )
Am reading old texts
So many beautiful women are worried about me
Makes shane jealous
Olivia
Lol tell him we said sorry
No will not
I like him jealous
Gives better blowjob
Priya
ILYA
Hanna
(Face With Tears Of Joy )(Face With Tears Of Joy )(Face With Tears Of Joy )(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Bridget
Sounds like someone is feeling a lot better lol
Olivia
He's right though, I've never had a man eat me out like jules did after watching another guy flirt with me all night at a bar
Hanna
Lmaoooooo
Priya
Taking notes (Eyes )
Dani
GIRL (Face With Tears Of Joy )(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Lucy
Lol the wags chat just hasn't been the same without him has it
:)
Today 4:38 PM
Thank you for trying to call shane for me
Was very nice
You are good friends
Bridget
Awwww
Priya
Wow he really is on a lot of drugs (Face With Tears Of Joy )
Jackie
Of course hon, no need to say thanks!
Hanna
<3<3<3
Caitlin
We love you too Ilya <3
Jane
Monday 8:48 PM
I'm coming
Today 9:12 AM
Hey
Hey, you ok?
Yes I'm ok
Sorry, I didn't think you were awake yet. I'm just downstairs making food, be back in a minute
(Splashing Sweat Symbol ≊ Sweat Droplets)(Aubergine ≊ Eggplant)
Why are you sending me an eggplant?
You know what it means?
Yes, Ilya, I know what it means, I don't actually live under a rock
You don't?
Fuck off.
Why are you sending it to me right now? I'm making breakfast.
Because you are coming
What?
Scroll up
Oh
I don't know why I sent that.
I think is sweet
You come to rescue me
Fuck off, Rozanov.
Am being serious
You are like knight in shiny armor
You're such an asshole.
You love me :)
Yeah, I do.
Come give me kiss
No, Ilya, your face is so fucked up right now.
You can kiss it better
That's not a real thing.
How do you know if you don't try?
No.
Please?
No.
:(
Don't make that face at me!
Why not?
Is it working?
No.
:(
Ok, I'm coming.
:)
Afterword
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