Queer Eye for the Not-So-Straight Guy

Communications plan 2021-2022 Inbox x

Harris Drover ˂hdrover@centaurshockey.com˃ Tue, Aug 3, 11:42 AM (22 days ago)
to me, Ilya, Farah, Yuna, Comms▼

Hi Shane and Ilya!

Congratulations again to both of you on the marriage and to Shane on becoming a Centaur. I sincerely hope you are not checking email on your honeymoon, but if you are, ignore this until you get home. (I just had to get sending this off my to-do list!)

I’d like to set up a meeting at the beginning of training camp to go over our communications and social media strategy for this year and how you would or would not like us to reference your relationship. You are welcome to include any of your representatives in that meeting.

Once we get the full schedule for the first week, we can figure out how to work this into one of your days.

See you in a few weeks!

Best,
Harris

Harris Drover
Director of Communications
Ottawa Centaurs

Centaurs WAGs

August 27 10:24 AM
Cassie
How are we all feeling this year?

Happy goodbye husband week next week or sorry to see them go?

Caitlin
The summer was so much shorter with two rounds of playoffs

And it’s been really nice to have a second pair of hands with Ellie all day

She’s going to walk soon and I know Evan will be sad if he misses it

Selena
It does feel a lot shorter

I’m on board for preseason though

Not as crazy as the regular season, but the kids are in school so Nick and I get some alone time

@Caitlin don’t tell him

that’s what my friend Jackie did. Her husband still doesn’t know all of his kids started walking while he was traveling for games

Ilya and I get to be together just as much during the season as we were over the summer. And get to play hockey together. I can’t wait

Cassie
You’re back from your honeymoon!!!

how was it?

amazing

so relaxing

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
we had sex at least three times everyday

Selena
pics or it didn’t happen!

they didn’t need to know that

Caitlin
no, we needed to know

Selena
omg, let the record show i sent that BEFORE Ilya’s message showed up

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
🤣🤣🤣

Shane won't let me take that kind of picture anyway

[image: Shane and Ilya on beach chairs in short bathing suits with no shirts, each holding a colorful drink with an umbrella in it]

[image: selfie of Shane and Ilya on the beach at dusk with the ocean behind them. Shane is wearing a linen v-neck shirt and Ilya is wearing an open button down]

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
I am also excited that this year is it not goodbye husband week

Too many fucking years of only having a few hours to spend together

Selena
I am so, so happy for you two

Caitlin
❤️

Cassie
❤️

@lisa, what about you?

Cassie
Give it another month until she’s regularly active in here

Selena
She always disappears a bit in the summer when the new crop of residents start working

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
crop of residents?

like a farm?

Selena
new trainee doctors (residents) started in July and they take a bit of time to get up to speed so she doesn’t get as many chances to sneak a look at her phone

Cassie
Or eat

Caitlin
or sleep

September 10 11:21 PM
Lisa
Thank you all!

[image: hospital staff breakroom full of sandwich trays and cookie platters. In the center is a card that says <3 Centaurs WAGs]

Caitlin
I have a feeling that was Ilya and Shane

all Ilya

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
it is from all of us. Joint effort

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕

August 28 11:08 AM
[image: Ilya, Harris, and Troy dressed in rainbow regalia standing under a sign for Kent Street. Harris and Ilya have thumbs down, Troy is flipping off the sign.]

Are you sure you don’t want to come? I can come get you or you can meet us here?

I can’t handle the crowds and the noise today

Is that the real reason?

It’s a real reason

🤨

I can’t do it. We’ve talked about it, you know i can’t right now

I can come home

No

I’m glad you’re going. You should have fun

Did you figure out something to do that’s not mope in the house all day?

I haven’t been moping

But, yes, I’m going to yoga with Lisa and Cassie

good

August 28 4:39 PM
Do you want to meet up with me and Harris's friends for dinner?

We're going to get out of this area so we can actually sit down somewhere

I guess I can do that

You don’t have to

no, I want to

his friends are cool?

yes

they’ve been taking pictures for us

[image: Picture of Ilya and Troy in front of a line of about a dozen people, most wearing Centaurs pride shirts, some of which have black sharpie autographs on them. Ilya is in the middle of signing one of them. The background is a crowded street full of people wearing rainbow and pride clothing.]

Do some of those have my name on them?

We're married so I can sign for you now

That's not how that works

Why does it look so much like my actual autograph?

I've been practicing

😾

😘

❤️

I’ll let you know where we’re going soon.

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕

September 17 8:15 AM
Shane

I can tell by your posture how much you hate this

We don’t have to do any of this if you don’t want to

you will not hurt my feelings

Shane

i know you can hear your phone buzzing

just check it

it’s not that rude

everyone else can hear it too

I will keep texting until you pick it up

Shane

Shane

I know you see me doing it

there you go

this is rude

We can just ask for a minute to talk things over

Harris Drover

September 17 2:37 PM
Sorry we didn’t want to do any of your ideas

we’d rather just focus on being teammates

well, I’d rather do that and Ilya’s being really supportive

no apology needed!

Sorry if it came across with any kind of pressure

we got a request today from Impact Magazine to do a profile on you and Ilya as a couple

I’m assuming that’s also a no

definitely no

I feel like we do any of this stuff and I solidify myself as the gay hockey player

And I fucking hate that

I do not want to be the gay hockey player

I get not wanting to be tokenized

you've said before you already get a lot of that due to race

exactly

There's another side to it though

I know what you're going to say, I've been getting it from my mother for a long time

representation matters and all that

that’s not quite what I was going to say

although it really does

You've told me you've been feeling better and better personally the longer the weight of the closet is off of you. You should think about what that means for you going forward.

Not flaunting your relationship is one thing, but some of the stuff we talked about today was (in my opinion) really low key.

it feels like you’re kind of stepping back into the closet by refusing all of it

September 17 4:35 PM
I hate talking to you

😊

Centaurs WAGs

October 15 1:23 PM
Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Attention WAGs

I need help urgently

The internet has informed me my hockey player husband is breaking up with me

and not impressed by my hockey skills

I am distraught

Do I try to win him back or let him go?

Marly once showed me this move where you hold a boom box outside a window to get your partner back

but they don’t make those anymore and my husband doesn’t like music

Caitlin
What the hell is going on?

🙄

[link to tweets]

Selena
🤣🤣🤣

Cassie
what did you do to piss Shane off in the store?

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
why do you think I did anything?

Cassie
🤨

he told me poptarts are a food group and then spent 10 minutes complaining about how he can’t get any of the good ones in Canada

Caitlin
okay, Ilya you should post that in response

Harris
NO

Sorry, that’s my knee-jerk reaction to Ilya posting anything

It would be kind of funny but it would also draw attention to something that’s not a big deal. Up to you guys

we’re just going to let this one die on its own

Cassie
Are you yawning or yelling in that last one? I can’t tell

yawning

Caitlin
💀

It was the end of the third period. We were already up 4-0, it was a power play

it wasn’t a very impressive goal and I was tired

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
you wound me

you’ll get over it

WAGs no Ilya

October 15 1:46 PM
I don’t know what to do about all of these posts

Ilya is being mostly chill about it, but I keep catching him looking at his phone when he doesn’t realize i’m there

and sometimes he looks devastated

Am I creating another situation like last year? When I wouldn’t let him tell any of his friends about us?

Selena
this feels different to me than your whole thing last year

but I can’t really define why

Cassie
To start, I know you all are used to being on camera constantly during games, but people taking pictures of you in the grocery store is super weird

🤷it’s nowhere near the first time that’s happened to me

Cassie
that doesn’t make it any better. maybe worse

what bothers you? that the pictures exist at all? that the pictures are of you and Ilya? the comments on your relationship?

that’s one thing

being seen in a way that wasn’t purposeful. that I didn’t control

Selena
yeah. that makes sense

Cassie
it sucks

But then there’s the whole we look like we’re breaking up piece which is the part that’s bothering Ilya

but I have no idea how to be in a relationship in public

Caitlin
You were in a public relationship with Rose Landry

Selena
yeah, you two were everywhere

I was so relieved to be straight I wasn’t paying attention to any of that!

Harris
🤣

shut up

but Harris has a point even if he’s being a dick about it.

Harris
😘

🖕

me and Rose wasn’t real

mine and Ilya’s relationship is ours and i feel weird about sharing that at all. on top of not wanting to deal with whatever people are going to say

which brings it back to not wanting to be the gay hockey player and defined by my relationship with Ilya. I’ve been so focused on that now people think Ilya and I are breaking up

Harris said it’s kind of like I’m going back in the closet and he’s right

Cassie
What does Ilya want?

Whatever I want, but I know he’d like to show affection more

Cassie
what if you copied us?

We can give you examples of how we act with our partners and you can see what feels right?

like, Zane and I always hold hands when we’re walking across a parking lot

Selena
Nick puts his arm around me when we’re watching the kids’ soccer games

Caitlin
Evan and I actually don’t touch each other much in public

this is good

okay, say all of this again in the other chat

Centaurs WAGs

October 15 1:42 PM
Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
you wound me

you’ll get over it

October 15 Just now
but seriously…

I do need to figure out how to interact better with Ilya in public

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
You interact with me perfectly in public

you know i’m only joking

So perfectly people think we’re getting divorced

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
people are stupid

Can you all please tell Shane there’s nothing wrong with how he acts in public?

I can want to change without it being technically wrong

I thought some examples of how other couples act would be helpful.

Cassie
Zane and I always hold hands when we’re walking across a parking lot

Selena
Nick puts his arm around me when we’re watching the kids’ soccer games

Caitlin
Evan and I actually don’t touch each other much in public anymore

anymore…?

Caitlin
We always got too carried away. It’s probably safer now that Ellie’s around, but

Fun fact, we’re 98% sure Ellie was conceived in a moment of weakness in that medium sized storage closet around the corner from the family room in the arena.

Cassie
👀

Lisa
Wyatt and I might actually kiss too much around other people

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
We know, we were all at our wedding

Cassie
and every single barbecue

Lisa
Well, it works for us

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
You heard the ladies Shane

oh my god

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Don’t worry, I will not be mauling you like in public like Lisa

no shit

but we could try holding hands more

Harris
Troy and I kiss goodbye and hello if we’re starting or ending our days at the same time at the rink

If we’re out at a bar one of us has his arm around the other

see, that sounds normal

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
so Cassie, Selena, and Harris will be our role models

and Caitlin and Lisa will be cautionary tales

WAGs no Ilya

October 15 2:17 PM
what the fuck

you were being so wholesome in here, what happened?

@caitlin you’re lucky Ilya is so afraid to freak me out about this or he would be trying to get me pregnant in that closet too

actually, he still might

Caitlin
sorry not sorry

the latch isn’t the best, so if you like to push each other up against surfaces, make sure you use a wall and not the door

fell on my ass in that hallway more than once

good to know

Caitlin
It’s hard to keep things like that in mind when you need the closet, hence the more than once

Lisa
As a physician I need to make sure you know you can’t get pregnant

Try telling Ilya that.

Centaurs WAGs

October 19 10:19 AM
Caitlin
@Ilya

and @Shane

October 19 12:27 PM
Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
you rang?

Caitlin
will you please have another halloween party this year?

i’m not breastfeeding

so I can 🥂 and 🌿 with you this time

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
let me check with my second-best half

I think he is practicing speedo poses in the mirror

October 19 12:53 PM
he says yes

I was not posing

it’s important to me that you all know that

I was just getting dressed

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
you are all invited and may bring your partners as plus ones if you choose

the whole team and their partners are invited

Caitlin
weird time of day to get dressed

🍆🍑💦 ?

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
😏

i mean, yeah, obviously

WAGs no Ilya

October 23 4:38 PM
Ilya wants to do a couples costume

I don’t even want to wear a costume

Cassie
Where’s your Halloween spirit?

I don’t know. Somewhere in the third grade

Selena
you were Wayne Gretzky every year weren’t you?

not every year

when I was six I was Charlie from the Mighty Ducks

Selena
but all the other years?

yeah

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕

October 31 9:46 PM
where are you?

are you okay

just needed a minute to decompress

do you want company

no

stay at the party, i’ll be back in a few

October 31 9:54 PM
Shaaaaane

you look a little stiff over there

what did you do?

?? 😇

which one?

the rainbow one

you’re going to kill me Hollander

everyone is going to be here for at least two more hours

wow

almost enough time to drive here if I were in Montreal

is this an annual tradition now?

this is me: 🪦

Centaurs WAGs

October 31 10:08 PM
Selena
Ilya, FYI, you look like you are about to eat Shane

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
he tastes good

Caitlin
no don’t push him off.

you get to be affectionate too

Cassie
this is perfect practice for public situations!

can you all just walk over here and talk like normal people?

Harris

October 31 10:37 PM
soooooo

🍑 🔌?

oh fuck off

how did you know?

you disappear, you come back and Ilya is literally reaching into your pants, and you’re shifting weird when you sit down

don’t worry, it’s a gay superpower no one else will figure it out

Centaurs WAGs

November 1 2:56 PM
Cassie
Shane, Ilya, I’m so sorry

I didn’t think you guys in the background would be notable

Zane deleted the post, but it’s kind of too late

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
it’s okay

Hayden Pike is looking for another member for his club

don’t listen to him

it’s fine

it’s literally just us touching like a normal couple

right?

Selena
totally normal

Caitlin
normal

Harris
that part is completely normal

Lisa
one might even say boring.

He should put it back up if he wants

maybe it will get everybody to stop watching us for signs we’re divorcing

Cassie
will it make you feel better if I told you I caught this before Zane posted it?

[image: Very similar to the picture from Zane’s twitter with Zane, Nick, and Wyatt in the foreground. In this picture, Ilya has his hand down the back of Shane’s pants and his mouth on Shane’s neck.]

oh my god

how did he manage to get that exact moment?

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
😁

Caitlin
amazing!

Cassie
he took about 40 pictures in a row

Lisa
You have lost the right to give me and Wyatt any crap about kissing around you

Harris

November 5 3:38 PM
here’s the thing

I'm not gay enough to be a gay hockey player role model even if I wanted to

what

???

is this about those twitter posts

no

well yes, the straight costume one, but also

I took a quiz that said I was a straight gay

What the hell does that mean?

"Do you even go here? No one is going to clock you walking down the street, you're more at home with the guys than the gays, and you think grindr is something you use to make sausages. But you like to suck dick so I guess you can stay."

…

…

😶

that is the most trash take i've ever seen

Wherever you found that, burn the whole thing down

I mean, it's not really wrong though

Let's put aside all of the problematic statements in that for now

Even if you feel that all of that describes you perfectly, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT

there is nothing wrong or "less gay" about not looking "obviously" gay

There is nothing wrong or "less gay" about not using or knowing what grindr is

And I take it back, I can't put aside the guys and gays thing

Not wanting to be around people who "act" gay for that reason only is some internalized homophobia that should be worked through

And I'm not accusing you of that

But you were also deeply closeted for a long time and I'm sure you developed some fucked up coping mechanisms

But wanting to hang out with people who like similar things as you do is being human

That is me though

Ilya and I went out with Ryan and Fabian last year and I felt so uncomfortable around Fabian just because

you know

and I felt gross about it

Well, you recognized the problem at least

yeah

Maybe I would be better now because everyone knows i’m gay

so I’m not afraid they’re going to figure it out because i am around someone who looks gay

sorry that sounds horrible

i don’t know how to say it

i’m so fucking sick of people talking about what i look like. I should not be doing it to other people

there’s a difference between a public twitter post and a private conversation about homophobia and being gay in the public eye

okay

thank you

okay

I have a new quiz for you

Are you a man?

yes

do you have sexual and/or romantic attraction to other men

yes

do you have sexual and/or romantic attraction to women

no

congrats you're plenty gay

that’s literally all it takes

fair enough

i still feel like I should know something about being gay

do you want the gay high school experience?

…

Sounds inappropriate for someone in their 30s

No!

😂

I just mean I can recommend some movies to watch and things to do, that you probably would have done if you’d been out in high school

and not playing juniors hockey

Too bad The Edge closed years ago

You should come out with my friends again. We’re doing karaoke next Wednesday. No game that night

I’m not singing

smh, such a straight gay

🖕

Harris

November 23 6:03 PM
Why would you do this to him?

[image: Ilya curled up in the corner of the couch under a blanket. Anya is sprawled across his lap. Ilya’s hand is buried in her fur and he is crying.]

Which one did you watch?

Angels in America

We spent a whole day off watching this

Yeah. That one's rough

What did you think?

Really sad

We also watched Philadelphia last night

I would not have recommended those back to back

yeah, but

I kinda want to get through the list

It’s not homework

you don’t have to watch any of it

Have you watched But I'm a Cheerleader yet?

No

watch that before bed, it will cheer him up

November 23 8:27 PM
did you watch it?

Is Ilya better now?

November 23 8:48 PM
Harris, why would you do that to Shane?

Is this not Shane?

It's Ilya.

I am trapped under Shane who finally fell asleep after having panic attack through that whole movie

But I'm a Cheerleader?

it's a comedy with a happy ending

Shane denied everything until someone else told him he was gay

Shane would have done almost anything to not be gay

Never mind pretending, Shane had actual heterosexual sex just to prove to himself he wasn't gay

And we had a big fight when he refused to show up in front of the team as my partner

I don't think he was even present enough to see the ending

Fuck

I'm so sorry

None of that occurred to me

I'm sorry Shane

please take Brokeback Mountain off your list

maybe try The Birdcage next

Centaurs WAGs

January 7 6:37 PM
Harris
Harris: I’m trying again

Harris: Come to karaoke night Wednesday next week.

Harris: A bunch of my friends are usually there and we have new people join us all the time.

Harris: There is no game so your husbands can stay with the kids.

Harris: Or you can send them all here and Troy will watch them.

Shane: Does Troy know this?

Harris
Harris: Not yet!

Harris: Which brings me to my most important point

Harris: Shane and Ilya are free

Shane: We’ve talked about this

Harris
Harris: Yes, you’ve said you won’t sing, you’ve never said you won’t go

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: He will be there

Ilya: Everyone will be there

Ilya: Right? Everyone?

Cassie
Cassie: Yes, please.

Cassie: get me out of this house

Cassie: Let Zane spend a night learning what a bad job we’ve done baby proofing

Selena
Selena: 🤣

Selena: I do not miss those days

Selena: I do kind of miss when you could just put them down and they would stay where you left them

Caitlin
Caitlin: HELL YES I AM FUCKING THERE

Caitlin: YOU WILL SING SHANE

Selena
Selena: oh, and I can go!

Harris
Harris: He doesn’t have to sing

Caitlin
Caitlin: 😈

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: 🏒🙎🏻‍♂️🙅🏼‍♂️🏒🙎🏻‍♂️🎤🎶🤦🏻‍♂️👱🏻‍♂️👄🍆💦

Ilya: Also, I asked Wyatt and he says Lisa is working right now, but not next Wednesday so she can probably go

Caitlin
Caitlin: Great! Shane, start picking out your song

January 7 7:52 PM
Lisa
Lisa: yes I can go. Shane, sorry not sorry you will spend the whole night fighting us about singing

Shane: I think I can handle you all

Centaurs WAGs

January 13 7:05 AM
Shane: oh my god

Shane: you are all dead to me

Shane: ILYA IN PARTICULAR

Cassie
Cassie: you looked so good up there Shane

Shane: that’s a fucking lie and you know it

Shane: I am so hungover

Shane: I have to get on a plane

Shane: People are going to ask me about this in public

Shane: And I already know exactly what the pregame playlist is going to be tomorrow

Lisa
Lisa: 🤣🤣🤣

Selena
Selena: 🪦

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: What did I do?

Shane: you let this happen!!!!!

Shane: you encouraged it

Shane: I do actually remember what happened last night

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: Encouraged you to have fun, yes.

Shane: I don’t need to have fun like that in public

Shane: It’s on the fucking internet again

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: no one is talking about you sucking my dick this time though

Shane: way too soon

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: sorry

Lisa
Lisa: Hey, guys, you know you’re still in the group chat?

Shane: sorry

Shane: I’ll shut up

Lisa
Lisa: no I get it

Lisa: I mean, obviously I don’t really know, but it’s invasive

Cassie
Cassie: you should be able to have fun without worrying about it going viral or whatever

Shane: Harris, apologize to Josh for me because he’s not getting out of this unscathed.

Shane: Also, sorry Caitlin

Shane: and by your silence I imagine you are feeling much the same as me this morning

Shane: no apology for Harris because you did that on your own and should have known better

Selena
Selena: I don’t think any of those people are blaming you for their momentary twitter infamy

Shane: well

Shane: sorry to bring down the mood this morning

Cassie
Cassie: it’s really okay

Selena
Selena: I think I can speak for all of us when I say we’re sorry you have to deal with this shit again

Cassie
Cassie: Ilya, are you okay?

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: I am fine. This is not nearly the worst thing that’s been online about me even before Hayden Pike decided to go into the movie-making business

Ilya: I also get less shit than Shane

Ilya: it’s not fair, but 🤷🏼‍♂️

Ilya: Anyway, Shane, take a shower so we can leave on time. I have breakfast downstairs, I packed your bag, and there’s water and ibuprofen on the bathroom counter

Shane: really?

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: yes moy lyubimmy

Shane: you’re so good to me 😍

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: well, I have to keep those dick sucking lips hydrated

Shane: 🖕

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: forgive me?

Shane: mostly

Shane: 🫦

Lisa
Lisa: Ok, going to remind you again that you are in a group chat

Shane: sorry

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: you all love it

Harris Drover

January 13 12:19 PM
Harris: Josh wanted to know if he could get your number for something about yoga.

Harris: I didn't want to just give out your number though

Shane: So he wasn’t mad about the video?

Harris: He doesn’t care about that stuff really

Harris: I don't think he's ever been on twitter. I still haven't managed to explain my job to him.

Shane: So my phone number’s not going to end up online if I give it to him?

Harris: God no

Shane: Definitely ok then

Unknown number

January 14 3:48 PM
Josh: Hey Shane it's Josh

Josh: I wanted to give you the info on that yoga class we talked about

Josh: [link]

Josh: Like I said, it's the most legit, actual advanced class I've found in the area. I actually struggle with the poses sometimes.

Shane: Hey man, thanks

Shane: I definitely want to check it out, but the next time we're home and free on a Saturday is in a couple weeks.

Shane: Do you go every week?

Josh: Mostly

Shane: Hopefully I'll see you there

Josh: awesome!

Shane: I hope you haven’t been getting too much shit for that karaoke video

Josh: Étienne is SO MAD he didn’t come

Josh: not that he ever does, but he just keeps walking around the house whispering “i can’t believe you sung with Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov”

Josh: I don’t think I can tell him you might come to my yoga class or he might sign up and he would NOT do well in that class

Shane: I thought he was an athlete

Josh: yeah, but not a bendy one

Shane: Ilya’s pretty bendy

Shane: shit, forget I said that

Josh: bitch, please

Josh: this is a safe space

Josh: come to yoga and then we can compare notes on the benefits of bendy vs not bendy husbands

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕

January 29 11:06 AM
Shane: I'll be a little later than I said. I'm going to grab a smoothie with Josh before I come home.

Ilya: Leaving me for another man so soon?

Shane: 🙄

Ilya: Take as much time as you want. I'm very busy with important work.

Ilya: [video: Anya asleep on Ilya's lap, nose twitching and making little yips in her sleep.]

Shane: 😍

Shane: Do you want me to bring you that banana nutella monstrosity?

Ilya: yes please 🤩

Centaurs WAGs

January 29 11:14 AM
Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: aagghurrhrhrh

Cassie
Cassie: Oh boy

Cassie: What’s going on?

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: Shane is making friends who aren’t us.

Ilya: Can you believe such a thing?

Ilya: He has left me home alone and BORED

Selena
Selena: I have a little box of indoor activities to pull out for my kids when they get annoying on car trips or when the weather is bad.

Selena: Should we make you one and call it the no Shane box?

Caitlin
Caitlin: Ilya’s Enrichment Activities (TM)

Harris
Harris: Have you thought of making friends who aren’t Shane?

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: I HAVE friends who aren’t Shane.

Ilya: I knew YOU before Shane.

Ilya: Why aren’t you entertaining me?

Harris
Harris: I’m spending the day with my boyfriend

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: 🖕

Ilya: your boyfriend is also my friend by the way

Selena
Selena: Nick is doing something…fishing? playing golf? I can’t keep track

Selena: but I’m going with the kids on a hike if you want to join

Selena: please know by hike I mean a short, flat dirt path around a lake that’s easy for a four year old to do without help

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: Can I bring Anya?!?!?!

Selena
Selena: yes, the kids would love that!

Selena: Chloe especially, she’s always asking for a pet

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: Just send me when and where to meet you

Ilya: I will get ready and put together a packet of information for Chloe to use to convince you guys to get a dog

Ilya: also pretty sure Nick is at laser tag

Harris Drover

January 30 8:52 PM
Harris: I hear you’re stealing my friend

Shane: oh, sorry

Shane: i didn’t mean to

Harris: no, no it’s okay

Harris: i was just kidding

Harris: I’m glad you made a non-hockey friend

Shane: I mean, does it count as a non-hockey friend if the first thing we talked about was youth hockey?

Harris: wait

Harris: Did Josh know anything about youth hockey?

Shane: uh, he knew it existed

Shane: he was telling me about Étienne in youth hockey

Harris: okay, that makes more sense

Harris: that probably wasn’t a super fun story

Shane: it was not

Shane: kind of a familiar one though

Harris: I’m sorry Shane

Harris: I wish this thing we love was better

Shane: me too

Josh

February 3 11:02 AM
Shane: Tickets are set for the game on Tuesday

Shane: Just give your name at will call

Shane: And after you can meet us in the family room

Shane: They'll have a pass for you at will call or you might be on a list. I'm not completely sure how it works but you'll be sitting next to my parents so just follow them. They know you'll be there.

Josh: This is amazing, thank you

Josh: I don’t think Étienne has watched a full hockey game since he quit juniors

Josh: But with you and Ilya and Troy all on the team. And because Pride night seems to actually mean something to the Centaurs

Josh: I don’t know

Josh: it’s a big deal he’s walking into a rink

Josh: i know it wasn’t your choice to be out

Josh: but still

Josh: it’s making a difference

Shane: that’s um

Shane: yeah, i’m not really sure what to say

Shane: i hope he can enjoy the game

Josh: he will. it might be hard, but he misses it

Josh: see you Thursday

Harris, Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕

February 3 4:15 PM
Harris
Harris: Troy is doing a video on what the last year has been like for him since he came out to go up on Pride night.

Harris: I know it’s not really the same situation for the two of you, but would you like to do a video either separately or together about what the game means to you?

Shane: We’re not having great luck on the internet this year.

Shane: Have you heard we’re breaking up again?

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: will it look bad if it is only me and not Shane?

Harris
Harris: That probably won’t help the divorce rumors, but if you feel strongly about wanting to do one and Shane doesn’t, we can figure out how to message that

Shane: it’s okay, i’ll do one

Shane: but separately. and can it just be a post instead of a video

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕
Ilya: are you sure?

Shane: yes. I think it will mean a lot to some people

Shane: Can it focus on hockey? Somehow?

Harris
Harris: Thank you both! Thank you Shane, it can definitely be a post. I’ll have Gen be in touch to help you figure out the approach and wording, I’m sure we can figure out how to focus on the hockey part.

Shane: Can we leave Gen out of this?

Shane: I know it’s beyond your paygrade, but I’d rather work on it with you.

Harris
Harris: Of course.

Harris: I’d be happy to.

Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕

February 7 2:24 PM
Ilya: i saw your draft text for the post

Shane: oh?

Ilya: it’s nice, but it’s not true, not really.

Shane: It’s not outright lies

Ilya: The whole point of us being out is so we can live our lives. no hiding behind media-speak.

Shane: That’s the point for you

Shane: I have NEVER wanted people to know the “real me”

Shane: But I’m finding this new version is good for something, so might as well use it

Ilya: I hate that

Shane: Don’t you want to be more open?

Ilya: I don’t want you doing this unless you really want to

Shane: I do really want to, you just don’t like my reason

Ilya: Fuck

Ilya: i’m not saying this right

Ilya: can we talk when you get home?

Shane: yeah, of course

Ilya: love you

Shane: love you more

WAGs no Ilya

February 7 2:48 PM
Shane: is it bad to do something you don’t really want to do because it will help other people?

Selena
Selena: this feels very philosophical

Selena: you could rephrase the question to ask if you’re morally required to do something you don’t want to do because it will help others

Caitlin
Caitlin: like the trolly problem!

Cassie
Cassie: or if all you’ve ever seen is shadows is that reality?

Selena
Selena: exactly

Shane: i have no idea what you’re talking about

Cassie
Cassie: you’re going to have to talk to him like someone who played hockey instead of paying attention in school

Shane: fuck you

Shane: but accurate

Cassie
Cassie: what’s the actual problem here?

Shane: I said I would do a post for the Centaurs to go along with pride night. Ilya is mad that I’m not being truthful in it

Caitlin
Caitlin: in what way?

Shane: saying that I’m glad to be out. doing the post at all. I don’t know

Selena
Selena: are you glad to be out?

Shane: kind of?

Shane: i’m glad I finally live with Ilya. and it’s a relief to not have this huge secret hanging over our heads, but it’s been an absolute shit show since we came out.

Cassie
Cassie: and you didn’t really come out

Shane: no. we didn’t

Shane: I actually came out to you guys and as scary as it was, it felt good in the end. But then we just had this intimate moment put in front of the entire world.

Shane: And I’m supposed to put on this happy face

Shane: But then someone told me very specifically that me and Ilya and Troy and I guess Scott have made them willing to engage with hockey again

Shane: so maybe I just suck it up and wave the fucking rainbow flag.

Selena
Selena: I think you have to protect your peace

Selena: Ask yourself what feels better to you, taking this action that puts you up for more scrutiny but could benefit someone or keeping boundaries where you’re not putting yourself on display?

Shane: arargghhhhh

Centaurs WAGs

February 8 10:04 AM
Cassie
Cassie: [Image: photo of Cassie and Milo in rainbow Centaurs gear]

Cassie: we’re ready for the game!!

Caitlin
Caitlin: Where did you get those shirts?

Caitlin: I have to stop believing that Evan will tell me about things like this.

Cassie
Cassie: It’s not team merch, I got it on Etsy!

Cassie: Etsy really loves gay Centaurs stuff, so many hits

Selena
Selena: 🤣

Caitlin
Caitlin: I’m so jealous of your shirt

Cassie
Cassie: photo of Centaurs rainbow pins

Cassie: I got us all pins, if that helps

Caitlin
Caitlin: it helps a little

Lisa
Lisa: usually I hate theme games, but I really wish I could go to this one for Shane and Ilya

Lisa: who are awfully quiet, usually Ilya is magically summoned by rainbows

Selena
Selena: morning skate

Lisa
Lisa: how the hell is it 10 already? I should be asleep.

Centaurs WAGs

February 9 8:22 AM
Selena
Selena: great game last night!

Selena: it was nice to see your posts, Shane and Ilya

Ilya Rozanov (husband) 💕
Ilya: he was lying

Shane: Ilya, fuck off

Cassie
Cassie: shit

Cassie: should we move on?

Ilya Rozanov (husband) 💕
Ilya: it’s fine

Shane: yes

February 9 8:38 AM
Caitlin
Caitlin: so

Caitlin: did you all see that new sex toy store that opened up downtown?

Caitlin: it’s women-owned and has classes

Caitlin: I’m thinking of checking it out on my way home from the shelter sometime if anyone wants to come with

Ilya Rozanov (husband) 💕
Ilya: me!

Shane: oh boy

Ilya Rozanov (husband) 💕
Ilya: what? they are toys, it’s fun

Shane: you don’t think we have enough already?

Caitlin
Caitlin: ooo, how many do you have?

Shane: i don’t know, like, 8?

Shane: dildos and plugs and vibes

Caitlin
Caitlin: 🍿

Ilya Rozanov (husband) 💕
Ilya: cock ring, hand cuffs, blindfold, clamps

Shane: okay, so more than 8

Shane: stop listing them now please

Shane: if you go, you’re absolutely going to end up with a photo of you walking out of a sex shop with a teammate’s wife online

Shane: you think a hike with Selena was bad?

Cassie
Cassie: I have like, one vibrator I got off amazon 10 years ago

Caitlin
Caitlin: oh no. Cassie, you have to come with me, that is no good

Cassie
Cassie: it does the job

Caitlin
Caitlin: it could do a better job

Caitlin: and who knows what it’s made of

Caitlin: Ilya, Shane has a good point, you should probably stay at home.

Ilya Rozanov (husband) 💕
Ilya: the internet ruins all my fun

Selena
Selena: okay, I’m going to share something

Caitlin
Caitlin: yay! you never do!

Selena
Selena: have you ever seen those ones you can control with your phone?

Caitlin
Caitlin: no

Ilya Rozanov (husband) 💕
Ilya: yes

Shane: yes

Selena
Selena: Nick has totally used that to get me off from the locker room

Caitlin
Caitlin: 👀

Cassie
Cassie: 👀

Ilya Rozanov (husband) 💕
Ilya: 😁

Ilya: this is the best thing I’ve ever heard

Ilya: they are also good for road trips

Ilya: they make ones that pair too

Ilya: so you have one and Nick has the other and they respond to each other

Shane: it’s, um, a good investment when you travel like we do

Harris

February 9 10:07 AM
Harris: looks like I missed some stuff this morning

Harris: you okay? you and Ilya okay?

Shane: we’re fine, i’m fine

Shane: I’m not sure we’re ever going to agree on this and I can’t win

Shane: he wants to be more public about stuff and I agree and then he gets mad at me for it because i’m doing it wrong?

Harris: agreeing to disagree is a real thing

Harris: as long as you feel good about your decisions, that’s what matters

Shane: well, I feel good enough about this one

Harris: I guess that’s good then.

Harris, Ilya Rozanov (husband)💕

February 10 11:29 AM
Harris
Harris: Sorry, I have to officially ask if you would do some kind of post for Valentine’s Day since the Groundhog Day and Pride night stuff did so well.

Harris: Got a nice spike in merch and ticket sales

Shane: absolutely not

Shane: love being reduced to dollar signs though, thanks

Ilya Rozanov (husband) 💕
Ilya: Shane, we’re already reduced to dollar signs

Ilya: I think we should skip this one Harris

Harris
Harris: yup, that’s what I thought

Harris: no problem

Unknown Number

February 11 1:12 PM
Tyler: hi

Tyler: This is Tyler Davis from the San Jose Piranhas

Tyler: I got your number from Matt Wilkins who got it from Alex Roy who I think got it from Carter Vaughn

February 11 2:07 PM
Tyler: this is Shane Hollander right?

Tyler: here I can prove who i am

Tyler: [image of Tyler in the Piranha’s locker room holding up a piece of paper with today’s date written on it]

February 11 3:47 PM
Shane: Hey

Shane: this is Shane

Shane: I believed you

Shane: I was napping

Tyler: right

Tyler: forgot about the time difference

Tyler: you must have to leave for your game soon

Tyler: sorry to bother you

Shane: did you text for a reason?

Shane: seems like you went to a lot of trouble to get my number

Tyler: right

Tyler: i’m gay

Shane: oh

Shane: that’s great

Tyler: i kind of just wanted to tell someone

Tyler: and I saw what you said about pride night and getting to be yourself

Tyler: i don’t know if I can do that yet, but i thought you would be a safe person to start with

Tyler: sorry if i’m just being weird

Shane: no

Shane: it’s fine

Shane: sorry, this has never happened to me before

Shane: i’m not exactly known for being like, a model gay person

Shane: so I’m not sure what to say.

Tyler: it’s okay

Tyler: people on the internet are so weird about you

Shane: they really are

Shane: is that why you don’t want to come out?

Shane: because I get it

Tyler: part of it

Tyler: im also worried about my team

Shane: i get that too

Shane: are you out to anyone?

Tyler: my family

Tyler: and you now

Shane: that’s good

Shane: i’m glad you have someone

Shane: sorry, i do have to get ready to leave for my game

Shane: but text me any time

Shane: really

Tyler: thanks

Tyler: good luck tonight

Tyler: it would be great if you could win

Tyler: a loss for Vancouver would really help our playoff chances

Shane: i’ll do my best

[Draft] Inbox x

Sat, Feb 12, 11:29 PM
▼

Valentine’s Day Post
Pros:
Seeing stuff like this helped Étienne and Tyler, will probably help other people
Ilya will like it
Cons:
Ilya will say I’m doing it for the wrong reason
People are weird about me on the internet and I’m sick of it