Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander/Original Male Character(s)

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Original Male Character(s)

Additional Tags:

Post-Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Book 2: Heated Rivalry (Game Changers), Canon Compliant, Missing Scene, Flashbacks, Anxious Shane Hollander, Jealous Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex

Language:

English

Collections:

Fulfill A Crave-ing

Stats:

Published: 2025-12-23 Words: 3,271 Chapters: 1/1

Can't Get You Out of My Head

Summary

“Mexico top. Hollywood blow job guy. And me.” - Headed Rivalry, Chapter 20

“I couldn’t even get you off my mind when I was with those guys, I was so obsessed with you, even then,” Shane admitted.

“Really?” Ilya craned his neck up to make eye contact with Shane.

Fill for the Fulfill A Crave-ing prompt: Shane accidentally moans Ilya's name while hooking up with another man.

Notes

Prompt:

Fanwork: fic
Characters: Shane, Ilya, OC
Pairing: Shane/Ilya
Rating: M or E
Prompt: Shane accidentally moans Ilya's name while hooking up with another man.

Kind of bummed that the "big strong top" conversation was skipped in the show, but we all know it happened!! Thank you Nico for beta-ing your own prompt, I can't post anything without your eyes on it first!

“What was it like?”

“What was what like?” Shane turned his head to look questioningly at Ilya, whose arms were wrapped around him, chest pressed into Shane’s back, face nuzzled into Shane’s hair.

Shane had tumbled back into bed after talking Anya for an early morning walk, not able to resist his soft and rumpled husband holding out his arms for a hug when Shane entered the room. Ilya had yanked him down onto the bed and wrestled him into this position, not that Shane protested much. 

“Being with other men. What was it like?” Ilya asked, words smooshed into Shane’s hair.

“What the fuck?” Shane twisted around to face him. “Why are you asking me that?”

Ilya buried his face under Shane’s chin and mumbled, “I do not know. Was thinking about it.”

“Why?” Shane pushed.

“Because you were flirting with that reporter who came by about the camp again.”

“Come on, Ilya, how many times do I have to tell you I don’t care about him or any other men? I was just being friendly.” Shane pulled them apart to look into his husband’s eyes. They were unexpectedly sad, the teasing sparkle Shane had been expecting was nowhere to be found. “Hey, oh, hey, Ilya, what’s up?”

Ilya sighed and shrugged. “My brain is being asshole to me. Had a dream you were leaving me for another man.”

“Oh my god, your stupid subconscious, come here,” Shane pulled Ilya back under his chin and squeezed him. “I’m never leaving you for another man. Or anyone. Ever. You remember I’ve only ever had two other experiences with guys, both of which were not good, right?”

“Yes,” Ilya grumbled into Shane’s chest. 

Shane laughed and planted a smacking kiss onto Ilya’s cheek. Ilya knew he was being ridiculous, but Shane knew his brain got a little too wrapped up in these kinds of irrational worries sometimes, and he was more than happy to comfort his husband.

“I couldn’t even get you off my mind when I was with those guys, I was so obsessed with you, even then,” Shane admitted.

“Really?” Ilya craned his neck up to make eye contact with Shane.

“Really,” Shane replied, this time kissing the tip of Ilya’s nose. “This is so embarrassing, but I’m going to tell you because maybe it’ll shut up dream-you.”

“Tell me what?” Ilya smiled expectantly.

“Remember the guy at the club in LA?” 

“Yes, you blew each other. Was bad.”

Shane chuckled softly, “Yeah, exactly. Well, it was good for maybe one minute while he was… you know. And that’s when, oh god this is embarrassing.”

“When what, tell me, please?” Ilya stuck out his bottom lip, making a pathetic puppy face that Shane was unable to resist.

***

2014

Shane walked out of the hotel and down a few blocks before getting into a cab, wary of being caught by any of his teammates who might also be going out. The Voyageurs were on a road trip in LA, and they won their game against the Emperors tonight, so he knew the guys were out celebrating. He’d begged off to his room as usual, but when the hall was quiet, he snuck back out. He didn’t think he’d run into anyone he knew where he was going.

It had been two months since the Sochi Olympics, and Shane hadn’t heard from Rozanov since their awkward interaction at the games. He kind of desperately hoped to hear from him the last time they were in Boston in March, but the text Shane was waiting for never came. So that was probably it then. Their stupid and ill-advised hookups were over.

The disappointment that nagged at Shane’s heart that night in Boston returned now as he looked at the bright lights whizzing by outside his cab window. He should probably finish the renovations on his investment building and just sell it already. It had been such a stupid thing to do, buying a building to have sex in. Shane threw his head back against the car seat in frustration. 

Fucking Rozanov had been such a bad idea every time, and now Shane wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt and embarrassment that overcame him every time they parted. He just wished he didn’t crave it so much. So tonight, he was going to try and quench that thirst and get what he needed from someone else. 

Before this trip, Shane had done some clandestine research online, thinking that LA would probably be somewhere he could be relatively incognito and find a man who’d be interested in him without knowing who he was. It was terrifying, the idea of taking this risk. But he was desperately horny. And he had imagined what it might be like, finding a random man and going back to his place to fuck. Maybe he’d be tall, with soft golden curls, and a gold chain around his neck… or maybe Shane should find someone completely different. 

When the cab pulled to a stop, Shane looked out the window and froze. The sidewalk outside was packed with men — visibly gay men — in outfits Shane would never dream of wearing. He was wearing dark wash jeans and a black t-shirt. The guy right outside the cab was wearing a black leather harness over his chest and matching, skin-tight, leather pants. Shane didn’t belong here. What the fuck was he thinking?

He was ready to tell the cab driver to turn around and take him back to the hotel. But he glanced back at the harness guy, with his flexing pecs and bulging biceps, and fuck it. Shane was so pent up, he needed release. And he needed it from someone who was not Ilya fucking Rozanov. 

After paying the cab driver, he wove his way through the sea of men to the entrance of the club. Shane’s whole body was tense and his heart was beating hard in his chest — he felt more like he was walking the gauntlet to his death than walking into a club filled with hot men laughing and dancing and having fun. The music was so loud and the bass was thumping so hard, he didn’t know if it was his heart or just the vibrations running through him. 

He needed to get a grip. And a strong drink.

Shane’s usual drink was a ginger ale, and if he was feeling wild, a light beer. But from what he could hear at the quieter bar he found all the way in the back of the club, almost everyone was ordering vodka cocktails or tequila shots, and the last thing Shane wanted was to stand out. 

“What can I get you, cutie?” The bartender asked Shane, making him blush. God, how was he going to get through this night?

“Um… a vodka soda, please,” he cleared his throat, “With lime if you have it?”

“I think I can manage that,” the bartender winked at him and Shane felt a shiver run down his spine. Right. He was here for a reason. And that wink was enough to get some blood rushing to his very neglected dick.

This bartender, Shane couldn’t deny, was really hot, and much more Shane’s speed than some of the more glitter-clad guys on the dance floor — wearing a white tank top that showed off his muscular arms and low-slung jeans that showed just a peek of tanned skin above the waistband. His hair was wavy and blond, and faintly reminiscent of…

“Open or closed?” The bartender asked, handing Shane his drink.

“Huh?” Shane asked, the question interrupting his dangerous train of thought.

The bartender rolled his eyes and said with a laugh, “Do you want to keep a tab open or close it out, baby?”

“Oh, uh, open, I guess,” Shane shrugged. Why was this random guy calling him baby turning him on even more? He needed to fucking relax.

He turned around to lean against the bar and watch the scene in front of him, taking a big sip and shuddering at the burn of the vodka going down. Was there any soda in this at all?

Bright colorful lights were flashing everywhere, bodies pressed and moving together, looking sweaty and very suggestive to Shane’s mostly innocent eyes. There were a few groups of women around — it looked like maybe bachelorette parties if the veils told Shane anything — but it was mostly men. 

Shane was used to being around men, most of his life was spent surrounded by boys, then men, that’s just how it was as a hockey player. His teammates, coaches, a majority of the team staff — all men. But this was entirely different than anything he’d ever experienced. There were men making out on the dance floor, for god’s sake. Shane was overwhelmed, felt so out of place, and if he wasn’t so damn horny, he’d just run away. This felt like a huge mistake, but he couldn’t let this opportunity go. He needed to get Rozanov out of his system, and there had to be at least one guy here who could do that.

“First time?” Shane looked over his shoulder to see the bartender eyeing him with a spark of humor in his gaze. He had sharp cheekbones that caught the light and full lips that felt all too familiar.

“Uh…?” was all Shane could say in response, confused and blinded by his beauty.

“First gay bar?” 

“Oh,” Shane was definitely blushing again, and he hoped it was too dark in here to be noticeable. “Uh, yeah. How’d you know?” He grimaced. This was humiliating. 

The bartender leaned forward on his elbows, and Shane fully turned back to face him, enjoying the way his forearms flexed. “I’ve been doing this long enough to know that look in your eyes. Like you want to run away but also like a hungry man at a buffet.”

“God, you can see all of that on my face?” Shane ducked his head. 

“Couldn’t help but notice. I haven’t been able to stop looking at you,” the bartender smirked at him, and Shane’s stomach fluttered. He blinked and saw a flash of a crooked smirk and hazel eyes. 

“Uh, is that a good thing?” Shane asked, shyly.

“Very good,” The bartender surveyed him and then said, “I’m Matt, by the way.”

“Oh, um, I’m Shane,” Shane stuck out his hand, then cringed and pulled it back. 

“You’re cute, Shane,” he replied, a broad grin stretching across his face, revealing dimples. Yeah, he was very hot, Shane couldn’t deny that. “Can I get you another drink, on me?”

“No, no, let me pay,” Shane insisted. He hated getting free drinks when he had so much money to spend.

“No, let me buy you a drink, Shane,” Matt dragged his eyes up and down Shane’s body again, and it clicked.

“Oh! Oh, yeah. Sure. Thank you,” Shane smiled shyly and tried not to freak out. This guy was flirting with him. A guy was flirting with him in public and Shane was letting it happen. Shane was encouraging it. Shane was… going to flirt back?

When Matt handed him the drink, Shane let his fingers slide over his, and Matt held his gaze as he chewed on his lip. Did that count as flirting?

“I need to go grab something from the back room…” Matt trailed off and pointed to a dark hallway to Shane’s right. “It’s down that way. And I might be there for a little while.”

Fuck. Was this really happening?

Shane cleared his throat. “Do you… do you need any help… in the back room?” He asked, trying to be chill, but unable to suppress the tremble in his voice. 

“You know what?” Matt licked his lips. “I really do.” 

Shane shot back the rest of his drink while Matt walked away, throwing a wink over his shoulder. Looking around to make sure no one was going to catch him sneaking into an employee-only area, Shane followed. 

It was definitely his heart beating out of his chest now, not the music. It was quieter back here, but Shane still felt the thumping beat coursing through him. He was going to do this. He was going to hook up with a random guy. A random guy with golden wavy hair and muscular arms and sharp cheekbones and full lips… and fuck, Shane had a type apparently.

Looking around in the dark hall, Shane suddenly felt a hand grab his wrist and pull him against a wall, and saw in the faint light that it was Matt. He ran a hand through Shane’s hair and Shane shivered, and searched Matt’s eyes, desperate for some guidance.

“Have you ever done this before?” Matt asked, hand playing with the hair at the nape of Shane’s neck.

“No, this is my first gay club, remember?” Shane huffed a shy little laugh.

“No, I mean, like, hook up with a guy. Have you?”

“Oh,” Shane swallowed hard. “Uh, yeah, I have.”

“Oh thank god,” Matt laughed and in the next second his mouth was on Shane’s.

It felt… strange. Not bad, necessarily, just foreign. And wet, very wet. He was using a lot of tongue, kissing hard and fast and Shane was struggling to keep up. Shane dragged his hands up his biceps to his broad shoulders and that felt nice. Okay, yeah, this could be good. But that really was way too much tongue. 

He pulled back, breaking the kiss. Maybe less kissing would be better? Shane tried to remember what Rozanov had liked… then reminded himself to stop thinking about him. He was done with Shane, and Shane had to be done with him. But he had learned a few things from Rozanov that he could probably put to good use now. 

Shane dropped to his knees. 

“Fuck,” Matt whispered. “You’re eager, aren’t you?”

Shane had been accused of being eager before, but this was a different kind of eager. With… fuck it, with Rozanov, he was eager to touch and kiss and feel him everywhere, eager to taste him and hear his moans and Russian dirty talk. Right now, Shane was just eager to get things moving so he could go back to his hotel.

“Mmm,” Shane agreed, nuzzling the hard length in Matt’s jeans, then reaching for his zipper. “Can I?”

“Please,” Matt rasped, running a hand through Shane’s hair. 

Shane pulled out his cock and got to work. It was smaller than Rozanov’s, and Shane was easily able to take him all after a few short sucks.

“Damn, okay cutie has a mouth on him. Fuck.”

Shane didn’t hate the praise, and he sucked harder.

“Oh shit, I’m gonna come,” Matt finally whimpered after a couple more minutes, and Shane was so relieved. He realized he was going to have to swallow though, because this guy had to get back to his fucking job after this. Well. Shane braced himself and choked it down, feeling so disgusting and wondering why this was so hard to do when last time he was with Rozanov…

Shane pulled off with a pop and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand while he stood up, and Matt immediately sunk down to his knees. Shane felt kind of bad that he wasn’t fully hard yet, but that changed quickly as soon as his cock was out and in Matt’s hand, then his mouth.

This was better, at least. The wetness and too much tongue worked for a blowjob. Shane looked down and saw the full lips and sharp cheekbones, sunk his fingers into the golden wavy hair, and for a brief moment, as he inched closer to the edge, it felt like…

“Fuck, Rozanov,” Shane moaned softly before coming hard down Matt’s throat. He squeezed his eyes shut, so ashamed of the words that had just tumbled out of his mouth. 

“What did you say?” Matt asked as he licked the last of Shane’s cum from the corner of his mouth, brow furrowed.

“What?” Shane acted like he didn’t hear the question, but Matt got to his feet and asked again.

“It sounded like you called me something when you were coming, but I didn’t understand,” Matt said, pushing up close and squeezing Shane’s ass.

“Oh,” Shane ducked his head. “I dunno, just like nonsense, it felt so good.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked, kissing Shane’s neck.

“Yeah,” Shane lied. He pulled away until he was able to get out from between the wall and the man pressing him against it. 

Shane’s stomach was starting to churn, the combination of vodka and disgust with himself overwhelming him.

“I uh… I’m sorry, I have to…” Shane stuttered at the very flushed and confused looking guy in front of him. “I have to go. Early morning. Um… thank you, uh, that was… yeah, thanks.”

And before Matt could say anything else, Shane darted back down the hall and into the club, which had gotten louder and busier somehow. He pushed through the crowd of sweaty bodies until he finally reached the door and took a long breath of fresh air. As fresh as it could be in the smog, anyway. Pulling out his phone, Shane called himself a car to take him back to the hotel. It was early enough that the other guys would probably still be out partying, despite their early flight in the morning.

Walking down the sidewalk to get away from the drunk people milling around outside the club, Shane felt tears prick the corner of his eyes. What the fuck was he thinking? Why did he think he could just do this? Hook up with a random man and feel okay after? He was deluding himself. This was impossible. And the awful feeling creeping up and lodging in his throat told him that it wasn’t just because it was a guy, it wasn’t just because hooking up with random strangers made Shane feel dirty. It was because, in the back of his mind, there was only one person he wanted it to be. And it never would be again.

***

Present Day

“So… now you know.” Shane sighed, eyes squeezed closed to try to block out the shame that had crawled its way out of the little corner of his mind where Shane usually kept it locked away. “When he was down there, you know… doing what he was doing, I said your name. All I was thinking about was you.”

“Oh, Shane,” Ilya looked like he was torn between pity and laughter.

“Ilya, stop,” Shane burrowed down into the bed until he was completely under the covers. “I only told you that to make you feel better, I don’t want your pity. Or your teasing!”

Ilya pulled the duvet off of Shane and draped himself over his husband instead. 

“Sorry, sorry, you are right. Was very nice of you to tell me how you couldn’t get me off your mind even when another hot man was sucking your dick.”

“Fuck you,” Shane tried to be angry, but he couldn’t when he looked at Ilya’s smiling face. That’s what he had wanted, right? To make Ilya smile and take away his dream-induced fears?

“How about I blow you now, you can say his name. Make it even,” Ilya laughed as he kissed his way down Shane’s chest and stomach.

“How about you blow me and I say your name, and we never talk about this ever again?”

“Deal,” Ilya grinned up from between Shane’s legs. “I love you, Shane. I loved you even then.”

“I know, Ilya. I loved you too. Still do.”