Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Original Characters

Additional Tags:

Outing, Social Media, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Episode 6, No Spoilers For The Long Game, My First Fic (this show has infected me), Podcast, POV Outsider, Fluff and Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort

Language:

English

Series:

Part 1 of SnailMail33 Cinematic Universe, Part 1 of SnailyMaily HR fics

Stats:

Published: 2026-03-01 Words: 7,103 Chapters: 3/3

A view from the other shore

Summary

November 2017. A blurry video of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov kissing is shared on twitter by an anonymous user.

Notes

CW for implied homophobia. There is implied harassment in response to the video. This has been omitted because I don’t want to write it and you don’t want to read it.

Chapter 1: Enhance

November 2017

Hockey Fan @anon8364918

A shaky video of a lake with no sound. The camera pans to a large modern lake house and zooms in to the shoreline, becoming a little blurry. A man is visible walking down to the lake, towards the camera, dressed only in swim shorts and shoes. He is recognizable as Ilya Rozanov. Another man is behind him, obscured from view. The video cuts to Rozanov swimming in the lake. The image is now much clearer. The second figure is sat on a rock behind him. His outline is visible but the shadows hide his features. Rozanov swims towards him and the camera zooms again. He steps up towards the second figure as the white balance adjusts to the shadows. We see the back of Rozanov’s head as he kisses the man fondly, but the other man’s face is partially obscured. We can only see his tousled dark hair and his right cheek. The video cuts out.

Raiders Forever @ethanfrost4
Is that @rozanov81? This is not how I expected my Tuesday morning to start

mikey @mikeymike
@ethanfrost4 No way that’s Rozanov, he’s literally famous for how many women he sleeps with

Raiders Forever @ethanfrost4
@mikeymike Either that’s my captain or he has a long lost gay twin

Jennie @rozwife
What is going on???? I am trying to eat my breakfast in peace?????

Jennie @rozwife
Who is this man he is kissing????? It should be me 😭😭😭

Jennie @rozwife
screaming crying throwing up

Boston Star @starnewsboston ✔️

BREAKING NEWS: Ilya Rozanov, Captain of the Boston Raiders, caught on camera with MYSTERY MAN at lake house.

LetsGoRaiders @ryandmatthews
@starnewsboston what the fuck

Tom @tommyjames
@starnewsboston I don’t believe this for a second. The guy is a Russian playboy, not gay.

Alex Burton @bostonalex
@starnewsboston I watch my captain score a hat trick against the Centaurs, I go to sleep, and when I wake up he’s gay now???

Gracie @hollanovtruther
@starnewsboston I don’t know how to be normal about this

Carla @carladknight82
@starnewsboston I’m sure this sucks for him but this is hot as fuck

Gracie @hollanovtruther

Wait

Gracie @hollanovtruther
NO BUT WAIT

Gracie @hollanovtruther
I think I need to lie down

Gracie @hollanovtruther
HEAR ME OUT

Gracie @hollanovtruther
I am 90% sure that is Hollander

Hollander4Ever @Lara24
@hollanovtruther you are insane

Matt💙❤️ @MetroMattie
@hollanovtruther girl you have literally lost the plot

Hollander4Ever @Lara24
@hollanovtruther leave @shanehollander alone!

Gracie @hollanovtruther
@lara24 I’m not saying that is his cottage, but I’m not saying that is not his cottage youtube.com/watch?v=g0WmiI2QUw0

Matt💙❤️ @MetroMattie
@hollanovtruther Okay I also need to lie down

Matt💙❤️ @MetroMattie
@hollanovtruther @Lara24 do I need to do a wellness check??

Boston Star @starnewsboston ✔️

BREAKING NEWS: location of SCANDALOUS GAY ROZANOV CLIP is cottage of Montreal Metros’ Captain SHANE HOLLANDER

Attached images of cottage from leaked video and Shane’s cottage tour.

Boston Star @starnewsboston ✔️
Identity of MYSTERY MAN suspected to be Rozanov’s long-time ARCH-RIVAL, Shane Hollander.

Jennie @rozwife
@starnewsboston WHAT?????

Raiders Forever @ethanfrost4
@starnewsboston what the actual fuck??

Gracie @hollanovtruther
@starnewsboston you cannot be real?? my delusions are not a credible source. Leave them alone weirdos!

Hollander4Ever @Lara24
@hollanovtruther you are literally the biggest weirdo here…

Gracie @hollanovtruther
@Lara24 girl get out of my mentions??? you can’t even see his face, I am straight up jumping to conclusions and they put me on blast????

Gracie @hollanovtruther
@Lara24 and yeah ofc I want this to be real, but if it is this is so fucked up

Kurt @kurtisincanada
@starnewsboston there could be a million houses that look like this. This could be in Russia for all we know

Jennie @Lara24
@kurtisincanada he literally had it custom built. there are no other houses that look like that

Jennie @Lara24
@kurtisincanada I don’t want it to be true but…
Attached images comparing cottage in leaked video to Shane’s cottage tour, with similarities labelled.

Raiders Forever @ethanfrost4
@Lara24 Holy shit.

Boston Star @starnewsboston ✔️

EXCLUSIVE: Rival romance exposed. Photo forensics confirms ILYA ROZANOV and SHANE HOLLANDER in leaked video. Full story: bostonstar.com/a/awcwo8c374dho8

Raiders Forever @ethanfrost4
@starnewsboston okay there is no way that isn’t Hollander. What the hell is happening??
Attached image of analysis from the article. The zoomed image of the obscured man’s face matches Hollander’s features exactly.

Gracie @hollanovtruther
@starnewsboston this should be like christmas for me but I don’t know how to react

MLH @MLH ✔️

It has been brought to our attention that an unverified video was shared this morning which has caused online harassment towards two MLH players. We will be holding a press conference tomorrow 4PM EST to address the situation.

Shane Hollander @shanehollander ✔️

I have been made aware of rumors circulating due to an unverified video shared this morning. Following legal advice, I will be present at the @MLH press conference tomorrow.

Ilya Rozanov @ilyarozanov ✔️

I have been made aware of rumors circulating due to an unverified video shared this morning. Following legal advice, I will be present at the @MLH press conference tomorrow.

Gracie @hollanovtruther

Guys I’m scared.

Gracie @hollanovtruther
Rozanov is Russian.

Gracie @hollanovtruther
this isn’t fun anymore

Chapter 2: No questions please

Chapter Summary

At the hastily arranged press conference, Shane and Ilya make an announcement.

November 2017

Despite the last-minute arrangements, the Ottawa Centaurs’ press room was crammed. Sports journalists and gossip magazines fought for a view of the lonely table; elbows had been getting pointier for every minute that had passed since 4PM. The backdrop, which two nights previous had burned sponsor logos onto every frame of the live pressers for the Raiders vs Centaurs game, had been hastily covered by a heavy velvet curtain.

The side door opened. The headline acts entered to an onslaught of camera flashes, their eyes remaining affixed on the two vacant chairs center stage. Rozanov took his seat first, glaring a fiery rage directly towards the camera, streaming live to rapt eyeballs across two countries. Hollander was not far behind, looking like he might be reacquainted with his breakfast at any second. A handful of officials, managers and media personnel followed and stood to the side. No one looked happy to be there.

Shane took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He retrieved some small cards from his suit jacket. “Thank you for coming. This won’t take long, and we won’t be taking questions,” he started, reading from the cards. “Ilya Rozanov and I are in a relationship.”

All the air in the room was sucked out in one collective gasp. The media personnel glared from their corner, settling the journalists back to silence.

“This is not something we wanted to announce publicly at this stage, but it was disclosed without our consent,” he continued without looking up from his cards. “We have consulted with our lawyers and are pursuing routes to justice for this breach of our privacy. This relationship has been ongoing for some time and has never affected our actions on the ice. We intend for this to continue.”

Shane put down his cards and looked up. The brief glance was enough to capture his deer-in-headlights expression. He turned towards Rozanov, who had remained still throughout. His jaw was clenched with all his might, and heavy bags accompanied his thin-lipped grimace. This was a man who could snap at any second. Shane nudged him gently and the glare softened slightly. Shane handed him the cards.

Rozanov spoke, his voice thick, “I hope you are happy you have your big scoop. I would like to share some things that have happened since I was in this room two days ago.” He cleared his throat, rubbing his nose with his free hand. “I have lost both my agent and my manager. They were both Russian. Luckily, I was already in the process of getting a new agent,” he glanced over at the gaggle of people by the door,“so this problem should be fixed soon. The Russian national team have informed me that, unless I deny all rumors and issue a statement condemning homosexual activities, I must return all prizes and medals I earned from international competition. I do not intend to comply with this.

“As far as I am aware, no action can be taken against me that would prevent me from traveling home to Boston for our game tomorrow night. But I have been advised that, for my safety, I can never return to Russia, or to any country that would honor a Russian arrest warrant.

He paused, lowering the cards and looking up at the camera. “I do not believe the person that did this intended to put my life in danger. I believe they thought they had hot gossip about big celebrity. Yes, I am big hockey superstar, but I am also a person. A person from a country where this is not a scandal, it is a crime. This has already had a big impact on my life and I am sure this will only make it worse. We are looking to legal solutions to identify the person who is responsible.” Rozanov’s face finished the sentence for him: and I will break every bone in their body and burn their entire life to the ground if I ever find out who they are.

“I am proud to play for Boston. I love living in Boston. I am glad to live in a country where loving someone of same sex cannot put you in prison. I love Shane. And I just want to play some good fucking hockey.” He spit out the last few words, slamming the cards onto the table.

Shane, who had been staring at Rozanov’s left elbow for his entire speech, snapped back into his recognizable media persona. Leaning toward the microphone, he said, “Thank you. We ask for privacy at this time.”

Rozanov stood to attention and marched straight out of the room, almost beating the onslaught of camera flashes and desperately shouted questions from the flock of journalists present. Hollander was not far behind him.

Chapter 3: Malone in the Zone

Chapter Summary

A transcript of a podcast episode released in December 2017. Since his relationship with Shane became public, the Boston Raiders have allowed Ilya to defer press making this his first interview since the news dropped of their relationship.

Chapter Notes

** Plucky music introduces the Malone in the Zone podcast **

Erin (bright female voice): Hello and welcome to a very special episode of the Malone in the Zone podcast with me, Erin Malone, my brother -

Brad (warm male voice): Brad Malone, and my wife -

Kayla (mellow female voice): Kayla Malone. This week we are thrilled to be joined by a very exciting guest: monster on the ice, full time chirp champion and Captain of our very own Boston Raiders, Ilya Rozanov. Ilya welcome to the pod!

Ilya: Thank you for having me.

Erin: We know you’re the talk of the town at the moment – everyone is trying to sit you down for 20 questions – so we’re equal parts shocked and excited that you’re joining us today on our little family pod.

Ilya: I’m happy to be here.

Brad: We should probably say – for any new listeners – the three of us grew up on hockey and have been Raiders fans since before we could walk. Me and Kayla actually met at a Raiders game!

Kayla (laughing): Ewwww gross!

Erin: Yeah so we’re long time Rozanov fans.

Brad: Ugh Erin stop fangirling.

Erin: Oh shut up Brad, you’re literally captain of the Rozanov fan club.

Kayla (to Ilya): I’m pretty sure Brad loves you more than me.

Brad: Hey!

Erin: No because that’s straight up true.

Kayla: Genuinely was worried for our marriage when I found out you swung that way.

Brad: Kayla! Oh my god I’m so sorry, we will cut this.

Ilya (laughing, a little nervously): No is okay, not like it is secret anymore, although I don’t think you’re my type sorry...

** Raucous laughter erupts from the two women **

Erin (wheezing): Holy shit Brad, your face!

Kayla (cackling): As if you could ever compete with Shane Hollander.

Erin: Not with the worst stick handling in your beer league team.

** Kayla snorts with laughter **

Brad (exasperated): We’re literally less than 2 minutes in this has to be a record.

Ilya: You play?

Brad: Yeah defenseman. Not been anything serious since high school but it’s a good time.

Ilya: Is good, your team?

Brad: It’s just for fun really. We have a few kids who didn’t make the college teams who are pretty nifty on skates and then a bunch of old farts like me. I’m too old to care much about winning now, I just love the game – gonna keep playing until my knees give out.

Kayla (laughing): So maybe two more weeks?

Brad: I’ve got nothing on Erin though, she was always the whizz kid growing up.

Ilya: Is true? You are good?

Erin: I’m decent, played at college.

Brad: She’s being modest, she’s very good - 1^st line centre for BU.

Kayla: Could’ve gone pro.

Ilya: Really? For Boston Pride?

Erin: Maybe. Probably in Canada or maybe the Blades, but got a rough meniscus tear senior year so it was never really on the cards.

Ilya: Ah that is sad.

Erin: Nah it’s okay, I mean maybe at the time yeah, but I have a few friends that went pro and it’s tough – the pay isn’t great so they’re always working. I have a lot more fun now just playing for a local league I think.

Ilya: Yes that is not good about the pay, is not fair.

Kayla: Preach!

Ilya: No is very stupid! You don’t pay players, you won’t get the best players.

Brad: They’re still good to be fair. We go to see quite a lot of Boston Pride games and they have some great players.

Erin: And so many hot gay players!

Ilya (laughing): Yes that part is good, MLH could learn some things.

Erin: The international stuff is probably the most exciting part of the women’s game at the moment, but obviously that is super competitive.

Ilya: Was similar in Russia. Growing up I mean. I don’t think I would have come to America without the Russian team

Brad: I mean, literally! You came over for the Prospect Cup right?

Ilya: Well, Canada, but yes. In 2008, before the draft.

Erin: I remember that, you were a beast, was huge news when you were drafted. I think the whole hockey scene in Boston went nuts.

Ilya: Yes I remember.

Kayla: That must have been a lot of pressure. For your first season I mean.

Ilya: Pressure was not new for me. Was more from Russia for me I think.

Erin: Ah yeah I can’t even imagine. Must have been scary coming here on your own?

Ilya: Not really. Is annoying speaking English but I like Boston. Good city, good people. And there were other reasons I wanted to leave Russia. Could be scary there too.

Erin: Wow yeah. It’s so sad to think about how dangerous it is to be gay in some places.

Ilya (shifting): That too, yes. Is okay in some parts, people can stay out of trouble. But it has been getting worse I think, since I moved here. It is not safe for me there now.

Erin: That’s so awful. My wife is from Spain and, as much as Boston is her home now too, I can’t imagine how painful it would be for her if she could never go back. I’m sorry.

Ilya: Is difficult. But yes, Boston is my home now. Since my father died there is not much for me in Russia.

Brad: Oh man of course, what a tough year. I’m sorry for your loss.

Ilya: Thank you. Yes, it is a lot. But there are good things too. I have new family now. And, although we did not plan for people to find out this way, my team have been good. They are like brothers. Don’t always say the right thing but they try, and they are learning. Is nice for them to know me properly after all these years.

Kayla: I was going to ask how they have been, I’m glad they have your back.

Erin: I’m so sorry some internet troll took away your chance to come out to them. That’s such a personal moment they took from you.

Ilya: Thank you. Is okay. It is good they know now, but yes I would have preferred to tell them myself. Maybe if Russia was different I would have told them a long time ago.

Erin: You think so?

Ilya: Well, maybe that and also if I was not with Shane…

Brad: God yeah, how did that part go down with the boys?

Ilya: I think more complicated. I think for some of them it is worse that he is Metros player than, you know, him being a man.

** they laugh **

Ilya: We both know it is a crazy situation. Honestly, we have not quite got our heads round it either. And Shane’s mom is a huge Metros fan so me being the Raiders captain was not so great for her.

Brad: That’s crazy, I didn’t know the rivalry was that serious to some people!

Ilya: Oh is very serious. We have to beat them.

Erin: It’s crazy that even the MLH’s homophobia can’t compete with the Boston/Montreal beef

Brad: Wait so you still hate the Metros?

Kayla: Brad don’t be a child!

Brad: What?

Ilya: No is okay. I don’t hate them, but they are the team I want to beat the most. The practice before those games is always the craziest. Everyone is like – I don’t know how you say – like hungry dogs?

Erin: Frothing at the mouth? Chomping at the bit?

Ilya (laughing): Yes, we chomp at the bit.

Kayla: Even though its Hollander?

Ilya: Especially because it’s Hollander.

** laughter erupts **

Kayla: How has it been for him? With his team I mean?

Ilya: Ah… sadly Boston is better than the Metros in many ways.

Erin (quietly): Oh no…

Brad: Those assholes! I mean he might be a Metros player but he’s still Shane fucking Hollander! Any team would be lucky to have him, gay or not.

Kayla (to Ilya): Sorry, I had no idea.

Ilya: Yes they are lucky to have him. If it doesn’t change, I wouldn’t want him to stay there but you know, he does not want to be on another team.

Brad: Fuck the Metros!

Ilya (seriously): Fuck the Metros. It has been very hard for him, that we had no control. That is the worst part; I hate seeing how much it hurts him. People can be so cruel. At least in Russia, you could pretend it was because of the politics, people had no choice. But I thought Canada would be better.

Erin (sadly): Not in the MLH.

Ilya: No.

Brad: We should get him down to Boston! We’d love him here and then, you know, would be good for you too I guess?

Kayla: No way Boston can afford Hollander! If we had Hollander and Rozanov the rest of the team would have to be paid less than the women!

Ilya: Is true. And we already have an excellent centre.

Brad: The best in the league!

Ilya: Yes.

Brad: Well, just get Marlow to bust him up again, tank his value so we can trade for cheap.

Erin: Oh my god Brad!

Kayla: So your grand plan to get Hollander to come to Boston, so that he can feel safe, is to have a Boston player beat him up? Jesus Christ you’re an idiot.

Ilya: Yes I think maybe we won’t do that. Marly still feels terrible for the first time. And I don’t think Shane would want to come to America. I thought maybe New York once Hunter finally transfers to a nursing home. I think they have been okay with him there and is not too far from Boston.

Erin: Yeah that would be good.

Ilya: But he is Canadian boy, I don’t think he would want to leave Canada. Also I don’t know exactly how it has been in Montreal. I hope things just calm down and then he can stay and be okay. He wants to stay. Would be nice for us to be in the same country though. Before the video, we were thinking I would have to go to Canadian team to get safe passport.

Brad: What?!

Kayla: Leave Boston?!!

Erin: Okay I am now homophobic.

Ilya: Before! And only because of passport!

Erin: That was a joke to be clear, but seriously we can’t lose you.

Ilya: Is complicated, being in different countries when my passport is a bit of a problem.

Brad: Will you be able to play in Canada? It’s only been US games the past two weeks right?

Ilya: Yes, probably. My people have told me it should be fine. They have talked to the border people from Canada and the US so I am okay to travel for games.

Erin: What can Russia actually do? While you’re over here?

Ilya: I don’t know. I was hoping I would not find out. I think they can try to say I am criminal or mess with my passport. It is all complicated at the moment, we are figuring things out.

Erin: That’s so scary. The whole immigration and visa process is horrible here, we’ve had so many problems over the years. Anna, my wife, has had to fill out so many stupid expensive forms and that’s not even to become a citizen!

Ilya: It is tricky. But I have people to help me. I don’t want to have Russian passport anymore but I want to stay in Boston if I can.

Kayla: Okay now I feel bad for getting mad, that is heavy.

Erin: Yeah I feel like all the politics and immigration stuff has really gone straight over people’s heads in this. Like the person who posted that video legit put you in danger. It’s not just some dumb hockey drama, this is real life!

Brad: What an asshole!

Ilya: Asshole.

Erin: I hope they can figure something out for you soon. Like they should literally just give you a citizenship so you can play for the US team.

Brad: Oh my god you’re a genius!

Kayla: That would be soooo sick!

Brad: Fuck! Rozanov on Team USA! Let’s goooo!

Erin: That would really stoke the rivalry with Hollander.

Ilya: Would be fun. Maybe a little, I wish I could still play for Russia, it is my country still you know. But I don’t think they want me as I am now.

Erin: Then they don’t deserve you at all.

Brad: Preach!

Kayla: Fucking too right.

Brad: Russia can suck my fat balls.

Erin: Ew Brad gross

Ilya: I am not sure that is allowed in Russia.

Brad: Oh yeah shit sorry.

Kayla: Fuck I’m still so mad at the Metros what the hell is wrong with them? I knew they were the worst I think I might actually hate them now.

Erin: Yeah what bullshit.

Ilya: Is not all of them. Shane has very good friends there. Pike and JJ have been good.

Erin: I’m glad he has some support.

Ilya: Me too.

Kayla: Do you think there are other gay players? Like we’ve gone from none to three in less than a year so surely there has to be more right?

Ilya: Not three.

Kayla: No? You, Hunter, Holl –

Ilya (interrupting): I am not gay. I like women.

Erin: Shane dated Rose Landry too. I’m pretty sure only Hunter has said he’s gay.

Kayla: Fuck sorry. Yeah you’re right, I meant like LGBT. Do you think there are any more LGBT players than the three of you?

Ilya: I don’t know. Maybe. But we can be very good at hiding. And I do not think we should try to find them if they don’t want to be found.

Erin: I’s so sad. Being closeted sucks.

Brad: Oh fuck off Erin you used to make your Barbies kiss when you were 6 you’ve never been in a closet in your life.

Kayla: Hey making your Barbies kiss does not make you gay.

Erin: Yeah, Brad. What do you know? I’m the token gay on this podcast.

Kayla: Yeah be a good ally and shut up.

Erin: But yeah, honestly I was very lucky. Our family is great, and it’s pretty hard to stay in the closet in women’s hockey – I think we even got some of the straight girls questioning things. I’ve heard so many horror stories about men’s locker rooms it’s awful.

Ilya: Yes it is not great. Locker room depends on the team. I have a “thick skin” so it does not bother me what people say. Shane finds it hard, and there are probably more that are like him. Probably lots who stopped playing because they did not want to be gay hockey player.

Brad: It’s just all so dumb. Like why do people care?

Kayla: Men are fucking weird.

Erin: Now that I can agree with.

Brad: Hey!

Kayla: Uggghh fine. Not all men.

Erin: For listeners, Kayla has just rolled her eyes so hard I thought they’d get stuck.

** They chuckle **

Brad (nervously): So Rozanov. I have a question.

Ilya: Yes?

Brad: It’s probably dumb.

Erin: It always is.

Kayla: Literally.

Brad: Like … do you guys just have insane standards now or what?

Ilya: What?

Brad: You and Hollander! Like if you guys didn’t work out for whatever reason, how the fuck do either of you find anyone that matches up with Shane fucking Hollander? Or Ilya fucking Rozanov?

Kayla: That’s actually such a good point, you guys are both on another level. Absolute power couple.

Ilya: I hope that will not be a problem.

Erin:Yeah Jesus Brad, breaking them up already?!

Kayla: I guess you’re stuck together forever.

Ilya (softly): I hope so.

Brad: This is so fucking cute I’m gonna throw up.

Kayla: How did you guys hide this? You’re straight-up smitten!

Erin: Yeah that is crazy! Like you should go into acting or something.

Ilya: Was too crazy for people to imagine, not hard to hide really. Shane is very private and I am "scary Russian" so no one asks about these things.

Kayla: I bet if we go back and rewatch clips it will be so obvious.

Ilya: Maybe.

Erin: Yeah I rewatched the last All Stars game last week and you guys were not being subtle I don’t know how we missed it.

Ilya: That was fun. Was nice not being rivals for once.

Kayla: I’m gonna rewatch all of your interviews in a new light as soon as I get home.

Brad (laughing): Yeah we should watch the whole of last season again to see if we can figure out when this started.

Ilya: You might need to go back further than that.

Kayla: Wait what?

Brad: Really? How far?

Kayla: What about Rose Landry? I thought they were dating.

Ilya: If you say so…

Erin: You really don’t have to share anything you don’t want to. It’s your business.

Ilya: No is okay. I am sick of hiding. We have only been official for a few months, but this has sort of been going on pretty much the whole time.

Brad: What do you mean “the whole time”??

Kayla: Yeah Rozanov, what the fuck?

Brad: “The whole time” you have been playing? Like since 2010?

Erin: There’s no way.

Ilya: Yes pretty much.

Brad: What??!!

Erin: Hollander and Rozanov have been together this whole time?

Ilya: Not the whole time really. And not really together. But it started then, and has been, ah, on and off.

Kayla: This is insane.

Brad: My brain has exploded.

Kayla: This is so cute I might cry.

Erin: And so sad…

Kayla: God yeah, you had to hide for seven years? Jesus Christ, I actually will cry. Is a relief? To not have to hide anymore?

Ilya: I think it could be. I hope so. Depends what happens now. There was a reason we were hiding.

Erin: It must be scary. I really hope things work out for you both.

Ilya: Thank you, me too. We just want to play some good fucking hockey is not that complicated.

Erin: Too right.

Brad (wistfully): Seven years??

Erin: What’s he like? Shane. When he’s not being Mr Hockey.

Ilya: *chuckles* Mr Hockey, I will remember this one. Well, he is obviously very boring and very bad at video games.

** They laugh **

Ilya: No he is great. He is not so perfect like he pretends to be, no he is even better. And his family is great too. I am very lucky.

Kayla: I’m literally gonna cry.

Erin: So you’ve met the parents?

Ilya: Yes. They have been very supportive of both of us, especially the past few weeks.

Brad: They’ve got two sons now.

Ilya: Yes.

Kayla: Oh my god I can’t take any more of this someone ask a dumb question please.

Erin: Good thing I brought … the cup!

Brad: Oh come on, not this.

Kayla: Oh yes perfect!

Ilya: The cup?

Brad: For new listeners, and Rozanov, when we were cleaning out dad’s garage two years ago, Erin found my hockey camp “most improved player” trophy from when I was like 6 years old -

Erin (laughing): “Most improved”!

Kayla: How bad must he have been before?

Brad: - and now she likes to use it for question roulette.

Kayla: It’s fun!

Erin: You’ve been outvoted Brad, this is a regular segment now.

Brad: This is so embarrassing…

Erin: So, Rozanov, do you want to do the honors?

Ilya: Okay?

Erin: Just pick a random piece of paper from this priceless trophy and read out the question. There are some random ones and then some I added for today.

Ilya: Okay… This is nice trophy, not as big as mine but… “Who is your favorite player to chirp?”

Brad: Oh that is a good one.

Erin: See I told you!

Ilya: Do I answer it?

Erin: Yeah we all answer it!

Ilya: Ah okay. This is difficult question. There are so many good answers…

Erin: My favorite is Brad.

Brad: We don’t even play each other anymore!

Kayla: My favorite is Brad too.

** Both women laugh **

Brad: I’m being bullied. My favorite is one of the college kids in my league. He’s an unbelievable player but thinnest skin around it’s so easy.

Erin: So you like bullying children.

Brad: He’s a fully grown adult.

Erin: Kevin? He’s 5’9 in skates!

Brad: Still fully grown.

Ilya: This is not a good look for you Brad.

** The two women burst into laughter **

Erin: This is why he's my favorite to chirp.

Ilya: I see this.

Brad: Come on Rozanov, you have to have a favorite. Your chirps are legendary!

Ilya (considering): I think maybe Scott Hunter is fun. Or Hayden Pike.

Erin: You’re like the only player who could chirp Scott about gay stuff too now.

Ilya: *gasp* I did not think of that. You are very smart.

Brad: You’ll get murdered!

Kayla: Yeah no way the Admirals will let you get away with that.

Ilya: If they beat me up, they are homophobic.

Erin: In college the lesbians were vicious to each other on the ice. Kaycee’s nickname was pillow princess for years because she kept lurking by the crease to cherry pick in our first season.

Kayla: *laughing* I forgot about that!

Erin: But yeah, I don’t know if the MLH is quite ready for that yet.

Kayla: Maybe play it by ear.

Erin: Would be so fucking funny though.

Brad: Pike is a great choice. He’s like one of those yappy dogs.

Ilya: Yes is very funny. Or maybe like rabbit, he has so many children. I don’t know how Montreal’s 15^th best player can afford all these diapers.

** They burst into laughter **

Erin: Brad you get to pick the next question because we were mean to you.

Brad: Great now I get pity paper. Okay... “Appetizer or dessert?”

Kayla: A classic.

Erin: Dessert. Every time.

Kayla: Really?

Ilya: Same for me.

Kayla: You’re a dessert guy?

Ilya: Yes I like sugar.

Erin: I love being right.

Brad: I’m a dessert guy too!

Kayla: Please stop trying to flirt with our guest.

** Ilya laughs **

Brad: Hey! I’m literally just answering the question!

Kayla: Suck up.

Erin: Brad is a cookie fiend to be fair.

Kayla: Yeah that’s true.

Erin: Ilya – can I call you that?

Ilya: Yes of course.

Erin: Ilya, what is your favorite dessert?

Ilya: Hmm I think maybe honey cake?

Kayla: Ooo that sounds lovely. I’ve never had a honey cake.

Ilya: It is popular in Russia, tricky to find it here.

Erin: Ah shame I would love to try it, I love honey. And cake.

Kayla: Is it this? I just googled Russian honey cake. It’s called mee-doe-vick?

Ilya: медовик, yes.

Kayla: Wow I’m not good at Russian! It looks delicious.

Erin: Let me see – ooo I need to try that. What is the filling?

Ilya: It is like sour cream.

Kayla: Oh interesting.

Ilya: Not exactly, but is similar.

Erin: Can you get it anywhere in Boston?

Ilya: I don’t know. I have seen it once in a European grocery store but was all in plastic and I don’t want bad медовик from a factory.

Erin: Yeah I guess it’s best homemade? Or from a bakery?

Ilya: Either is good, but homemade is best. Like my mother made.

Brad: Ugh mom cake is the best.

Erin: I’ll have to find a recipe – do you have one?

Ilya: No, I don’t bake.

Kayla: If you come on the pod again, maybe we’ll try and make you some.

Erin: Yeah and then you can tell us if we did it right.

Ilya: I would like that. I have not had it in many years.

Brad: God I really want cake now.

Erin: Is that what you miss most about Russia? The cake?

Ilya: I missed медовик when I was still in Russia. I have not had it since my mother died. But I think probably yes I miss the food. The vodka too but it is not too hard to get Russian vodka here. Russian food uses some ingredients you can’t get here easily so even if I was a very good cook, it would be tricky. I did miss the clubs – clubs in Boston are nothing compared to Moscow – but Scott Hunter’s boyfriend showed me some places in New York which might be even better.

Brad: You’ve been out with Scott Hunter?

Erin: Oh the New York gay scene is wild.

Ilya: Is good time yes. Too fun for old man Hunter but he is cradle snatcher so his boyfriend is fun.

Kayla: You went out with Scott Hunter’s boyfriend without him?

Ilya: Yes was fun. His friends showed me some great clubs. Shane and Scott went home probably to read hockey books because they are boring I don’t know.

Erin: It is nice that you guys have each other. Has it been helpful?

Ilya: It was good to not be the first to come out. But I think Hunter was easier to accept for a lot of people because he was not with another player and, you know, he got to choose it. So the reaction has been quite different for us. It is nice to have someone else who understands, even though he is 1000 years old. He has been very supportive and there are lots of Admirals players and fans who have been very good to us. Is also good that his boyfriend is not a hockey player, he is just a normal guy.

Kayla: A stupidly hot normal guy.

Ilya: *chuckles* maybe yes. But Shane I don’t think knew any other gay people. And I don’t know many people who live here who don’t play hockey. So was nice to meet Kip and his friends who are just normal. It is not so weird for them to be gay. I think it was good for Shane to see that. To show him he has not done anything wrong.

Erin: I think a lot of straight people don’t really understand how much it affects someone to be raised in a community like that, where being queer feels wrong. Like I think they can understand the external effects: having to hide, having to lie to people, not being able to do things in public like go on dates and stuff. But I don’t think they really think about how much those ideas are internalized. I don’t want to speculate what either of your experiences are but I can imagine a lot of gay men and boys who play hockey think a lot of horrible things about themselves. Maybe even worse than what they hear in the locker room. So yeah, I hope that’s not what either of you are dealing with, but I’m glad you have some “normal gays” to make you feel not so wrong.

Ilya: Brad your sister is very smart. It is not genetic.

Kayla: You are absolutely correct again.

Brad: I thought this week I’d have someone on my side for once.

Erin: Why would you think Rozanov would have such terrible taste?

Brad: He is dating a Metro.

Erin (laughing): Brutal!

Ilya: That was a good one, well done Brad.

Erin: Okay I think we have time for one more.

Kayla: Hey I never got to answer! I like appetizers the most.

Brad: Boooo.

Ilya: Yes, booo. You are just like my Shane. Eat only boring bird food and no candy.

Kayla: No I just like tasty savory things more than tasty sweet things.

Erin: You are wrong but we still love you.

Brad: You’re on thin ice though.

Kayla: It’s not that weird!

Ilya: It is.

Kayla: Okay fine whatever. Gimme that stupid cup. “Current favorite albums” does that mean like current albums? Or current favorites?

Erin: I think current favorites.

Brad: Yeah I think we can include old albums too.

Kayla: Well I’m a swiftie so this is easy, Reputation.

Erin: Yeah I could have guessed that.

Brad: That is my current least favorite album, I’ve heard it way too many times against my will.

Kayla: Hey, you said you liked Ready for It?

Brad: Yeah that one’s okay.

Erin: Have you listened to that St Vincent album yet?

Kayla: Is that the one you were pestering me about at the Sharks game?

Erin: Yeah

Ilya: Is this Christian music?

Erin: *snorts* absolutely not. St Vincent? It’s like alternative pop?

Ilya: I have not heard this.

Kayla: Oh here we go.

Erin: She’s so good! I loved her last album but this one is even better. It’s called Masseducation and it’s INCREDIBLE.

Kayla: I promise I will listen to it, my playlist is just entirely Taylor Swift right now.

Ilya: I will check it out.

Brad: I’m not going to lie, my appetite for any kind of pop has been fully used up this month. I just want my aux back for five minutes.

Kayla: It’s not my fault I don’t want to listen to your screamo.

Brad: It’s not screamo it’s metal.

Kayla: I still don’t understand the difference.

Ilya: You are a fan of metal yes?

Brad: Yeah and my favorite album is always going to be Master of Puppets.

Ilya: All the Finnish guys love metal, they are always ruining my playlists with it.

Erin: What’s on your playlists normally?

Ilya: Mostly rap, is good for training.

Kayla: Like hip hop? Like Drake?

Ilya: Absolutely not. Marly keeps trying to add this to our gym playlist, I have had to remove his speaker privileges. No, I like a lot of hip hop, and mostly our team playlists are a bit of everything so that they are good for everyone. But I like Russian rap the most.

Erin: That’s cool! Do you have a favorite album or artist?

Ilya: Ah, I am not sure it is something you would like.

Brad: It can’t be worse that listening to Reputation again.

Kayla: Hey!

Ilya: There is a rapper I like called Skryptonite. He did a very good album a couple of years ago.

Erin: What is it called?

Ilya: Дом с нормальными явлениями. I don’t know in English. Maybe “house with normal appearance”? Or maybe “normal energy”, I am not sure how to translate.

Erin: Do you have a favorite song from it?

Ilya: That is tricky. It is best all as one. And my favorite changes a lot. I think it was Я не улыбаюсь but now I don’t know.

Kayla: What’s that about?

Ilya: Я не улыбаюсь? It means “I don’t smile”. I’m not sure how to explain. Ah, it is about hiding feelings? It is about a lot of things.

Brad: I can see why you liked that one.

Erin: And why you might need a new favorite.

Ilya: It is still a very good song. Shane does not like it. Too noisy.

Kayla: What music does he like?

Ilya: He likes other people to choose it.

Erin: Yeah I could see that.

Ilya: But as long as they do not choose the wrong songs.

Erin: Of course.

Kayla: Well I think it’s probably time to wrap this one up.

Brad: I love that we had an actual hockey legend on our hockey podcast and barely mentioned hockey the whole time.

Ilya: I talk about hockey too much.

Kayla: So do we!

Erin: Ilya, it has been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for joining us and being so open. I don’t know why everyone acts like you are such a big scary Russian when you’re actually delightful.

Ilya: They are scared because they are bad at hockey.

Brad: Hell yeah!

Kayla: Yes thank you for choosing to share your experiences with us and not sugar-coating what must be some really difficult circumstances.

Erin: From one queer hockey player to another, I’m so thrilled to welcome you to the fold, and I hope the rest of the world catches up soon.

Ilya: Thank you. There were many things I wanted to say but I did not want the media to tell the story. They say too much already. Thank you for letting me share here.

Erin: It was our pleasure.

Kayla: You’re welcome back any time. Next time I will make your honey cake!

Ilya: That would be nice.

Erin: And if any other players want a real conversation instead of the same four questions, please get in touch!

Kayla: Yes! We would love to have you on!

Brad: Although there’s a good chance we won’t talk about hockey much.

Kayla: Probably not at all.

Erin: Okay Malones, see you next week!

** The Malone in the Zone theme plays again to close the episode **

Chapter End Notes

Ahhh I've come back to so much love thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed this! I have never written fanfic before so it is wild to me that anyone has read something I have written.

I probably won't write more of this story, but might write more HR fic if inspiration strikes again. Thanks again for all the lovely comments ❤️