The Many Titles of the Group Chat

Kingfisher remodel

(Scott added Rozanov to the chat)
Eric

Why tf is Rozanov in our renovation chat?
Scott

Because he's been texting me contributions non stop since he found out we bought the bar and I am TRYING to focus on camp
Kyle

Isn't he also supposed to be at camp?
Ottawa does not start for another week

I am bored
Kip

Don't you have like, actual friends in Ottawa?
They are all fucking their wives and I am bored

Except for Harris he is busy making social media campaigns for the new rookie
Eric

Oh shit I forgot you guys got Haas
Kip

Who?
Eric

Swiss kid, 2nd overall draft pick
He is good in theory

Ottawa still does not vibe tho
Scott

Also he's bored bc Hollander had to go straight to camp and other than Price none of the other coaches are around
Max and Leah live in BC and the timezones are a bitch

We are watching a movie tonight though so fuck you I have friends
Kyle

We're also your friends

What tf are your ideas tho?
I have list of hockey-diet-friendly ingredients

Hollander eats like a bird

Or a cow
Kip
lol

So mostly it is things he could eat/drink bc if he'll eat it then p much every other performance diet is covered

We discovered this during camp last year when his mother was trying to figure out catering for the coaches
Kyle

I've got a partial list of mocktails I've been testing on Eric if u want a peak?
Eric

And we'll pass your food along to our kitchen staff
Also I have a lot of hockey shit in boxes if you want any

Mostly pucks and sticks and shit from Boston

There's probably some shit you could use in there tho
Kyle

When's New York in Ottawa?
I will check

Oh we have pre-season game in a few weeks

Hunter we will suck this is your warning
Scott

As opposed to Ottawa normally?
🖕

Kingfisher remodel

Lundin is going to be in New York next week, make sure you grab him
Kyle

??
Scott

Lundin was a player for LA, came out and went back to Sweden
Crowell's fingers are all over that pie
Kip

That's three different terms of phrases but honestly they work so well for Crowell's icky-ness
Kyle

Rancid vibes.
Eric

Agreed
He told Shane not to come out
Eric

Like

In plain English?
He does not speak another language so yes.

In plain fucking English.
Scott

Fuck
Kyle

Is he okay?
Rattled, mtl does not entirely have his back

So long as they do not have to think about it they don't care

Theriault makes "normal occasional homophobic comments"
Kip

The normal amount is none
Scott

Does he need anything?
Not that he will ask for

Just

Keep an eye out for him

Living up to his own standards is going to destroy him someday

What is word?

Burning?
Kyle

Burnout?
Yes that.

This does not help.

Our agent is very not pleased but there were no records of what was said
Kip

He's not gonna say something?
Eric

He can't
Scott

He's a free agent the end of this season taking aim at Crowell would tank his career

Even if he'd won every Cup in the last decade
👆

Hunter should call him? Maybe?
Scott

Will do
Kyle

Hey Ottawa plays New York in December right?
I expect very good mocktails

And beer

And food
Scott

Can we put him on a not allowed list?
Eric

Scott you only own half the bar and you only have a quarter of the vote here
Kyle

I like Ilya
🥰
Kip

Just because you have to punch him every time you see him doesn't mean he's a bad person
Scott

I do not!
Someone did a tally on Twitter

I have given you the most black eyes out of any NHL player

🖕
Scott

🖕

Kingfisher remodel

I am bringing Barrett

Be. Nice. Hunter.
Scott

Why tf are you bringing Troy fucking Barrett to my bar?
Eric

No I'm seconding that question
Why the fuck do you think?

He's working through some shit and you two can help him feel normal about it
Scott

Working through some shit?
Hunter

Use your fucking brain
Kip

No I'm a little bit lost too
How do half of you have graduate degrees and another quarter has a fucking Harvard education
Kyle

Oh my god guys

Ilya I am sorry they're being obtuse
Eric

I'm still lost
Kyle

What's a great defence mechanism to keep people from looking too close at your personal life?

Be a massive fucking asshole to everyone
And be best friends with an even bigger fucking asshole

He is learning, though.

And he is good person, I think
Scott

If he does anything I'm kicking you both out
If he is asshole I will kick his ass outside the bar and you can watch
Scott

Fuck it

Fine
Eric

If he'll even walk into a gay bar
You have good food

And sports people

He needs to spend time with sports people 1) not on his team and 2) not fucking assholes like Dallas fucking Kent
Scott

Fuck Kent
Kyle

With a fragile glass cactus :)
This is why I like you Kyle

I am stealing that for my arsenal
Kyle

Ofc

See u soon!

Kingfisher remodel

(Ilya added Troy Barrett to the chat)
Kyle

Ah our favourite reformed asshole
Troy Barrett

Why am I in a remodeling text thread?
Eric

Because Ilya had opinions
Kip

I know that is so hard for you to believe
Troy Barrett

Ilya Rozanov? Opinions? Never
Scott

😆
He even emojis like old man
Scott

🖕
Troy Barrett

Ty for the pin btw
Kyle

Of course!

Did your apple farmer like it?
BARRETT!
Troy Barrett

Shut up Rozanov
Kyle

???
YOU GOT HARRIS A PIN?!

AND YOU DID NOT TELL ME?!
Kip

Omg is there lore?
Troy Barrett

No
YES
Eric

Oh?
Troy Barrett

It's nothing Ilya is blowing things out of proportion
I AM BLOWING THEM TO THE CORRECT PROPORTION
Kyle

Idk my guy, you seemed to be pretty into this apple farmer
HE IS NOT APPLE FARMER! HE IS CENTAURS SOCIAL MEDIA GUY!

CHIRON IS HELPING ME MATCHMAKE
Eric

Who tf is Chiron?
Troy Barrett

Oh dear fucking lord
[Chrion.jpg]

[Chrion1.jpg]

[Chrion2.jpg]

[Chrion3.jpg]
Troy Barrett

The team dog

Ilya's a little obsessed
Eric

A little?
[Chrion4.jpg]

[Chiron5.jpg]
Kip

Awwww he's adorable!
He is best boy!

Wiebe lets us have him on the ice after good practices!
Troy Barrett

Ilya really needs his own dog
I am never home
Troy Barrett

Yeah where tf do you even go?

Bood said you go to like, two grill nights a year

And you're NEVER at Monks after games
I have things to do
Kip

Oooooo secrets from Mr. Rozanov?
Kyle

Are you secretly a spy?
Fuck no

Fuck Russia
Scott

You literally have an ugly ass bear tattoo for Russia
Yes before 2012

Then it became for Boston.
Troy Barrett

2012?
Many bad laws passed

My home is unrecognizable to me most every day, it has gotten worse and worse

So fuck Russia, I have not been back since my father died
Kyle

Mood
Eric

Wait where tf did the bird come from then?
Troy Barrett

There's a team pool on what it's for

He got it after two seasons w Ottawa so it's not that
Scott

Two is a weird number of seasons
Kip

Do we at least get a super secret hint for taking your suggestions on the menu?
No
Eric

Oh come on

Scott's not gonna be around long enough to figure it out
Scott

Fuck you Rozanov do you see what you've done
😈
Kip

It's okay babe

You're aging very gracefully
Scott

I hate it here
Then leave
Scott

THIS IS MY BAR CHAT ASSHOLE
(Ilya changed the chat name to Old Man Scott + Others)
Eric

Man am I glad I don't have to play against you anymore

Ottawa made you feral
Correction

Having a good fucking line made me feral
Kip

Yeah you guys are actually gonna swing the playoffs this year

P much guaranteed atp

Old Man Scott + Others

Troy Barrett

[Ilya_Sore_Loser_Mario_Hospital_Visit.mp4]
Kip

Ilya are you

Bragging about beating sick kids at Mario Kart

In a fucking hospital?
Yes
Scott

Oh my god he's such an asshole
Troy Barrett

The kids love him for some fucking reason
I am great with kids!

You can ask Price! Or Pike! Or any of the coaches at the summer camp!
Troy Barrett

I somehow doubt Pike lets you around his kids
Thats what you think

[Pike-lings_and_Ilya.jpg]

[Twins_Birthday.jpg]
Eric

Are you wearing a feather boa and glitter?
Have you never heard of a dress code Bennett?
Kip

Awwwwww
Kyle

Awwwwwww!
Troy Barrett

I am doubting Pike's parental fitness now
You should

He buys toys "for the kids" that are really for him

Then he leaves them out for his wife to trip on and sprain her ankle

And then he panics and calls emergency babysitters in

And then the Pike-lings have time with their favourite Uncle Ilya while Jackie chews Pike out for over-reacting
Scott

That is a very specific scenario to pull out of thin air Rozanov
Troy Barrett

Why tf are you one of the emergency babysitters you live in Ottawa
Is only two hour drive

Less than to the Pike's

And he was very worried
Kyle

And Ilya is a very good friend
I AM a very good friend thank you for noticing Kyle!
Kyle

Any time babes
Eric

Why didn't he call Hollander?
He was busy with Yuna doing some ad campaign or something

I lost track of which one

Rolex gave him v fancy watch tho

And he has a lifetime supply of Reeboks atp
Troy Barrett

At least he's getting the campaigns?
Scott

They're a pain you do not want to do them
Kip

Oh no, people think you're hot and a good role model and want you to be the face of their products how horrible
Scott

You just like when they give me fancy chocolates
Kip

Yep
Hollander does not get fancy chocolates

He gets birdseeds.
Eric

Dude you gotta stop shitting on the performance diet
[No_Bugs_Bunny.gif]

Old Man Scott + Others

Scott

Holy shit are yall okay?
We're okay

No one's injured

I thiiiiink I saw Barrett sneak into Harris' room though
Kyle

👀👀
Cross fingers and toes
Eric

You know I almost want to ask if you engineered a full fucking engine failure on a plane just to get Troy and his not-apple-farmer together
I am not that desperate yet
Kip

Fingers and toes crossed!

Glad you're all okay!

Old Man Scott + Others

Troy

Have any of you guys come out to an asshole parent before?
Is he still here?

I can punch him
Eric

Nope, sorry
Kyle

Mine weren't exactly the greatest but I don't think it was the gay thing so much as the whole scandal that happened
Scott

And Kip's parents rule
We should have them meet the Hollanders

They also rule
Scott

You doing okay Barrett?
Troy

I will be

Posted the coming out video
Kip

!! Lemme go watch it!
Is v good, Harris is wizard!
Kyle

Oh my god it's so good!
Troy

Harris edited the whole thing
Scott

I'm proud of you Troy
Eric

Ditto

Welcome to the club!
Troy

P great club ngl
Kip

Awwww it's so good!
Kyle

Seriously if your boyfriend's ever in NYC you gotta bring him by

He sounds so sweet!
Troy

He is
Scott

You okay if I share your post to my story?
Troy

Go for it

Thanks for sharing all the other stuff btw
Scott

You're doing really fucking important work, Troy

The homophobia is one part of the big fucked up mess that is hockey culture

The rape culture misogyny is a whole other fucked up part of this dying rat king
Troy

Wtf is a rat king
Kip

Rats tails get tangled together and it's like, really gross
Eric

Which is why I prefer to compare it the toxic shit in hockey to Cerberus
Troy

Yeah no that's more apt
Kyle

Now go kick Toronto's ass, k?
Troy

Oh you fucking bet we are

I've got the freshly out, told my asshat dad to stuff it, vindicated confidence 

No fucking way we lose
Scott

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Old Man Scott + Others

Troy

I apologize in advance for what's about to happen
Kip

???
SHUT UP AND LOOK AT MY DOG

[Anya.jpg]

[Anya1.jpg]

[Anya2.jpg]
Kip

OH

MY

GOD!!!
Kyle

A BABY!!!!
Her name is Anya!

Some fuckwad abandoned her in the middle of nowhere in Canadian winter!
Kyle

Who tf would do that?!
Troy

It happens way too much out by Harris' family's farm

They found her tied up to a fence

A vet lives a couple farms over tho and she's all good

And she's gonna be spoiled shitless by Roz
Kyle

As she deserves!
As! She! Deserves!

I have spent so much money already

I am getting her sweaters

And pretty collars

And bows for her little ears

She is such a perfect doggie
Scott

Proof Ilya Rozanov has a heart; he's about to spend millions of dollars on a dog he's had for a day
Troy

Two days

I held him back for two days
Kip

Jail for Troy
Kyle

Jail for a thousand years
Troy

Don't quote Miette at me

Harris' parents insisted he take a full 48 hours with her to make sure she was a good fit
There is hotel for dogs in Ottawa
Eric

Like a kennel?
Troy

Oh fuck
No.

Hotel.

For.

Dogs.
Troy

Do not press it

I beg you

This same conversation has happened no less than 23 times in the locker room today
She is perfect baby girl and everyone must know this
Kip

You better have videos
Scott

Troy.
Troy

I said sorry!
[Anya_squeaky_toy.mp4]

Old Man Scott + Others

(Ilya Rozanov left the chat)
Scott

???
Kyle

Oh fuck
Scott

?
Troy

It's everywhere, the main video has 1.5 million views already
Scott

Someone explain please?
Troy

It feels... Icky
Kyle

Someone just outed Hollander and Ilya
Scott

Wdym and?

Hollander's basically already out and Ilya's Ilya
Troy

As in

They're together

Making out

On video
Kyle

Caught in 4k
Scott

Oh fuck
Troy

I'm driving to his place but the video was taken yesterday in Montreal so I don't think he's here

Fuck wtf am I supposed to say to the team chat here?
Scott

You tell them to shut the fuck up and stop gossiping and let Ilya speak up if he feels like it

And maybe remind them that he's extra fucked here with the whole Russia thing
Troy

Yeah

Thanks
Kyle

Anyone heard from either of them?
Troy

Pike went over this morning to let them know

He didn't realize
Scott

He should've checked
Troy

I don't think he checks anything

He's known for years apparently
Scott

Years???
Troy

Idk just

Relaying information as I get it

Hang on
(Troy added Ryan Price to the chat)
Troy

So I can stop playing telephone
Ryan Price

Mind if I add some more?
Scott

Go for it
(Ryan Price added Leah Campbell, Max Riley, Baldwin, and Lundin to the chat)
Ryan Price

So I can stop repeating myself

They've been together for the better part of a decade 

Until about an hour ago the only people that knew were Shane's parents, Hayden, me and Fabian, Rose Landry, and Ilya's friend Svetlana

Obviously I don't have to explain why that circle was so damn small
Scott

Wait

The better part of a decade?
Ryan Price

P much their whole career, from what I can gather

Direct questions with them got weird
Leah Campbell

Anyone know where they are?
Troy

Ottawa has an away game, we're supposed to leave this afternoon
Baldwin

A couple of the people I know in the corp side of the league said Crowell's fucking livid
Scott

Fuck Crowell
Kyle

Fuck Crowell
Kip

Fuck Crowell
(Eric changed the chat name to Fuck Roger Crowell)
Troy

Ilya's house is dark, no car in the driveway

I can't stick around to wait fuck

Hang on
(Troy added Harris to the chat)
Max Riley

How's your team handling it?
Troy

They're really fucking worried about them both
Ryan Price

JJ's asking if I knew but uh

In a... Not very nice way?
Troy

I thought he was chill w Hollander being gay?
Ryan Price

He was???

Idk he seems like, personally offended
Lundin

A lot of people probably will be

This is a world different from the rest of us
Leah Campbell

God I do not envy yall rn

We may not have a professional women's league yet but at least everyone knows women's hockey is hella gay
Harris

Okay hi I'm gonna go Future Comms Director here

To be crystal clear: anyone asks anyone here for a comment, team member, friend, esp any journalist, the answer is no fucking comment. 

Maybe without the swearing unless they get demanding
Cens HQ reached out to their agent to see if she has anything for us and atp there's not much

Yuna's also not answering texts so idk if she's seen it yet
Ryan Price

I'll call her

Or maybe Max? If she sees it's one of you guys on the west coast she'll answer
Max Riley

🫡 on it
Scott

Already had three requests for on the record comments
Harris

And once you turn them down hard the rest of you will start getting trickling in requests.

We hold the line here and hope they're okay
Eric

Just got confirmation from Wiebe

Crowell ordered them both benched
Troy

Why tf are you texting my coach?
Eric

Bc we're two old fucks who played hockey

He reached out when I retired
Leah Campbell

Max got ahold of Yuna, she didn't know

Wasn't awake yet

David's trying to call Shane but it's just going to voicemail
Scott

Okay Harris I know you said stay quiet but
Harris

No buts Hunter

We shut the fuck up until they tell us what they're doing

If you want to do something just... Idk post pictures of you guys and your partners/at pride parades or something

Nothing outright

And do not post without filtering your comments to keep their names out of it

We don't want speculation breeding and we don't want Crowell deciding this was one big gay conspiracy theory and tossing everyone out
Baldwin

He's gotten away with it before
Lundin

At least they're more recognizable than we ever were
Harris

Which makes them the perfect people to turn into examples

Sorry. I'm catastrophizing
Leah Campbell

David got ahold of Shane.
Kyle

Thank fuck
Lundin

Is he okay? Are they together at least?
Leah Campbell

They were

Ilya's driving back from Montreal

Shane's driving in for practice

God mtl are such fucking assholes
Kyle

??
Ryan Price

Hayden just texted that they apparently had a separate team chat without Shane, him, and JJ in it. Him and JJ were just added to it.
Troy

Fucking hate them
Harris

Don't text and drive

But yes

Fuck montreal
Scott

Oh my god
Kip

Fuck what now?
Scott

No nothing bad just

Ilya told me to call Hollander and I never did cause shit got too busy

He told me like, three times a year to call Hollander
Harris

It seemed like a guy just being supportive

It's not your fault
Troy

I think I made things worse actually

After we went to the Kingfisher in Dec he told me he's bi and I started to put things together

I think it freaked them out
Ryan Price

Oh fuck yeah probably
Baldwin

Not your fault, you couldn't have known any of this shit would happen
Kip

Oh my god Ilya had ideas so Shane would be able to be at the Kingfisher comfortably
Kyle

Holy shit

Like, half the mocktails are his suggestions!

[Kingfisher_Mocktails.jpg]
Kip

Yeah those blue highlighted ones are the ones he suggested
Ryan Price

He doesn't drink ginger ale
Leah Campbell

You know who famously drinks ginger ale and buys the cranberry ginger ale in bulk whenever it's out though?

Shane Hollander
Kip

Oh my god that's kinda adorable

Fuck Roger Crowell

(Troy added Ilya to the chat)

(Ilya added Jane to the chat)
Oh it uses my contact name for him
(Jane changed their name in the chat to Shane)
I approve of the name

He is big fucking asshole
Shane

I'm sending a backup copy of the recording from our meeting w said asshole to all of you I have emails for

Just to be safe

Please don't listen to it though
Scott

You recorded the meeting?
Shane

The meeting was in Montreal, it's legal here
Ryan

That's so fucking smart
My fiance is genius yes
Kip

YOUR FUCKING WHAT
Leah

YOUR WHAT
Lundin

YOUR WHAT
Baldwin

YOUR FUCKING FIANCE?!
Kyle

OH MY FUCKING GOD?!?!
Shane

This is why I mute group chats
Scott

Congrats Shane
I do not get congratulations from my very best friend Scott Hunter?
Scott

And the asshole's back
Shane

Oh it never stops

Ever
Troy

Okay Ryan said you guys have been together for the better part of a decade???
Ryan

Sorry
Shane

You're all good Price dw
Summer before rookie year

Also in this chat full of queers why is Haas not here?
Ryan

Because this is the unintentional chat full of queers

It was Ryan Price Does Not Want To Play Telephone To Seven Different Groupchats chat

Just

Most of them are queer
Kyle

Queers of a feather flock together
Eric

Okay but seriously are you guys okay? Is there anything we can do to help?
Shane

We're gonna be posting some photos and a statement to our instagrams if you want to share it

Our agent is a fucking angel
Also we are getting married some time in July and all of you are invited

Lundin I will fly your ass to Canada from Sweden myself if I have to
Shane

By which he means he will buy you plane tickets
If you let me get my pilot's licence
Shane

No
Would be useful
Shane

Ilya you almost died in a plane crash a month ago
Two months ago

And almost is not dead
Ryan

Thank fucking god I don't have to just talk to Pike now

Yes this is what they're like

All the time
Shane

Sorry
Don't apologize it is normal
Troy

Ilya nothing about you is normal
Scott

I second that statement
Kyle

Thirded
Max

Fourthed
Leah

Fifthed
I cannot believe I am being so betrayed
Shane

Sixthed
[Shane_Sleep_w_Anya.jpg]
Leah

Oh my god you got a dog?!
Troy

Oh no
Scott

Not again
Kyle

Whatever you do do not ask about the dog hotel
Anya! She is best girl! You will meet her this summer!

She is flower girl in wedding.

Chiron needs suit too
Harris

I will make sure he has a bowtie but he hates shirts and you know that
(Shane changed the chat name to Gay Hockey is Better Than Straight Hockey)
(Ilya added Luca Haas to the chat)
Leah

Okay crisis over mostly

Yall know how to reach me but if I have to deal with this chat for the rest of my life I will keel over and die
Scott

This was supposed to be a chat talking about renovating a fucking gay bar
Max

Ha!
(Leah Campbell left the chat)
(Max Riley left the chat)

Gay Hockey is Better Than Straight Hockey

Kyle

I'm being held hostage here

Until I send this video

Yes he's been cut off already

[Vaughny_#ally.mp4]
Shane

Oh my god

Is he having a breakdown about loving gay people?
Scott

Yes
Eric

This happens fairly frequently

He's "gotta make sure" we know
Kip

Every time he gets drunk
Haas

I think it is sweet
Lundin

I second that
Please tell me you have more

I need chirp fuel
Shane

No you don't
Scott

You really don't
Haas

Please don't
Troy

Seconding the please tf do not

Carter's chill

We like Carter
Yes it is Hunter we are so so on
Scott

🖕
Kip

Shane do you understand their friendship?
Shane

Nope

Gave up trying to like

Five years ago
Kip

Great

Cool

Lmk if I have to get offended
Shane

Will do

Also you and Kyle should tag along next time the Admirals play in Ottawa

The Museum of History is really fucking cool 
Troy

The only things to do in Ottawa are museums and Centaurs games
Harris

And gay bars
Shane

And random politicians showing up at gay bars
Harris

Yeah that was a weird thing to see
Ryan

?
Baldwin

Dude I'm also lost
The Ottawa boys are being defensive over their home town

And talking abt the time Trudeau showed up at our local gay bar and played #ally

At least he dressed nice
Shane

Yeah there've been a couple who tried to do the ally thing in the Ottawa gay bars and showed up in like

Whole ass suits
Harris

Omg remember when that one Quebec MP showed up and got so confused
Shane

I remember the pictures on the front page!

He looked like fucking bambi
Harris

It was so fucking funny

He got adopted by drag queens

Poor guy didn't know what was happening
Ryan

Gotta love the drag queens
Scott

Keeping lost baby gays safe since time immemorial 
He even texts like an old man
Scott

🖕

Gay Hockey is Better Than Straight Hockey
Baldwin

Hey when's Ottawa in Van City next?
Troy

Two weeks, why?
Baldwin

I'm yoinking you all

My brother's got a gig at a gay bar and he's worried the place is hitting that part of the gay bar life cycle
Shane

That part?
Baldwin

1) New gay bar opens 2) girls start showing up and being respectful cause they don't wanna get hit on 3) straight guys start showing up to hit on the girls 4) straight guys get offended when gay guys hit on them at a gay bar and drive them out 5) gays flee for another bar

There's been problems w some straight guys thus far

Figure if a bunch of famously gay hockey guys show up it'll send a bit of a clearer message
Harris

See I don't mind when the girls show up it's the dudebros that follow
Scott

The Kingfisher has enough dudebros that are regulars that they're used to getting hit on atp

It's like we've accidentally trained them into being ally dudebros
Kip

Oh it wasn't an accident

Clarkson turned a guy down nicely and I comped his drink and his buddies realized if they're nice abt it we give them a free drink
Kyle

Works great
Eric

Though the dudebros at the Kingfisher were already pretty chill in the first place given that we own the place
We land in Vancouver on the 13th, game on the 14th, then free day on the 15th where we're supposed to be travelling

Wiebe's okay with it if we don't travel w the team tho so that's two possible days

I'm down for both
Shane

So long as no one expects me to dance I'm down
Troy

Do not challenge Ilya
Shane

Ilya knows I don't dance
Shane doesn't dance until he's drunk

And then he's like an awkward baby loon

Very endearing
Shane

Ilya
Shane
Harris

Oooo can I tag along?
Baldwin

Ofc!

And obv the invite stands for the rest of yall too

Ottawa just has a huge concentration
Haas

Gayest team in the league 😄
Scott

We're playing each other for the Pride Night in New York this year
Harris

OH FUCK YEAH THEY POSTED IT

Christina and I have been working on some cool shit for this announcement brb
Troy

Ugh now Harris is working

I was getting sleepy morning cuddles

Fuck you Hunter

Kip hit your husband for me
Kip

That's abuse
Eric

I'll get him for you
Troy

ty Eric
Eric is my favourite Admiral for a reason
Eric

Uh huh and it's totally not bc I'm also bi
Solidarity!

You saying I am not your favourite Centaur?
Eric

IDK Haas is p neat
Haas

☺️

You are also very neat Eric
Shane

Okay everyone's favourite Centaur is Haas
Very true
Troy

Yep

Can verify
Baldwin

Agreed

Don't change teams you're stuck w Ottawa now
Haas

Okay!
Eric

Admirals and Centaurs are like Narnia
Scott

???
Eric

I forgot you don't watch movies
Once a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen of Narnia

Once a Cen/Ad, always a Cen/Ad
Eric

Damn Roz getting the reference was not on my bingo card
Shane

He's a massive nerd
Ryan

Can confirm

He once read a theoretical physics paper on the plane when we both played for Boston
Was trying to practice English

I have many bullshit words from hockey I want to read smart words

And the paper was in English and Russian
Scott

Jfc
Shane

He's also really fucking smart

It's hot
Harris

Damn don't suppose Ilya knows anything abt computers?

Gen's is being fritzy and we're on too tight of a deadline for it to get looked at professionally rn
Will give it a look when we come in

I fixed Shane's playstation when Hayden sat on it
Shane

He did

And made it not overheat
You just had to clean it
Shane

Yeah but doing that meant taking it apart
Lundin

Seems like poor design
Shane

Right?!
Anyways, excited to finally make it to the Kingfisher!
Kip

Fuck yes!
Ilya even made sure we’d have stuff for you
Shane

Wydm?
Kyle

[Kingfisher_Menus.pdf]
P much everything you could have on ur performance diet is bc he made sure of it
It's not that big of a deal
Just making sure he had a place there too
Shane

Fuck I love that man so fucking much
Tell Wiebe we’re going to be late to practice
Harris

👍

End Notes

Hi yes I have decided I love textfics and this is now a problem oops.