Preface
I'm Straight! (you were not yesterday)
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/79295216.
- Rating:
- Teen And Up Audiences
- Archive Warning:
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Category:
- M/M
- Fandom:
- Heated Rivalry (TV)
- Relationship:
- Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
- Characters:
- Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, many OCs, Hayden Pike, Scott Hunter, Rose Landry, Carter Vaughn, Svetlana Vetrova
- Additional Tags:
- Social Media, Texting Fic, Established Relationship, Coming Out, Coming Out Attempts (Gone Wrong), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Not Canon Compliant, Internet Discourse, ilya is a chronic flirt and shane is hc'd as straight by Everyone, author has not read the books and would appreciate it if you leave out spoilers in the comments, please, Crack, Boston is Bruins but Montreal is Metros because it actually only has to make sense to me, Shane Hollander Is a Menace
- Language:
- English
- Stats:
- Published: 2026-02-11 Completed: 2026-08-05 Words: 15,849 Chapters: 15/15
I'm Straight! (you were not yesterday)
Summary
Shane and Ilya decide to come out by building up their public friendship and slowly starting to hint at a relationship.
One of these men is chronically read as straight and the other is Ilya Rozanov.
Lily: you need to be more obvious
Jane: I was obvious.
Lily: *shared a link*
Jane: Oh. Fuck.
A Cooling Rivalry: Hollander and Rozanov Soft-Launch Their Friendship
It's a sight that should be unheard of: the Montreal Metros' #24 and the Boston Bruins' #81 photographed in the same group at a party, laughing at the same joke. For most of their careers, they could only be found in the same room when their jobs forced it. They've had a mutual hatred both personal and professional, both between their teams and individually. A year ago any fan would've called a potential friendship between the NHL's two star players impossible. But with the recent actions the two men have been taking, the idea's starting to get more and more likely.
Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander have spent the last few months "soft-launching their friendship" as internet fans have put it. At a recent event, they were seen socializing with similar people, leading to them even hanging around in the same group once or twice, something they haven't done their entire careers. Since then, a TikTok has been posted of them sharing a friendly wave, they've stopped making their usual snarky remarks about the other, and have even begun trading compliments in separate interviews.
It seems they're getting more comfortable with each other, something never guaranteed but not uncommon as rivals age and settle into their careers. Within a year, they could honest to god be friends, something no hockey fan had ever dreamed of before this.
In a move causing even more Internet buzz, in Rozanov's recent comment relating to Hollander, he decided to take a comedic turn.
"Of course I know [Hollander] personally. I get to know all of the guys I hate-f***."
—Rozanov
One of our editors, a scholar of Rozanov's career and a diehard Bruins fan isn't surprised in the slightest. "These guys are finally putting the beef to rest," he said. "And this comment in particular is what cemented to me that this isn't PR or anything like that—it's real.
"When Rozanov hates someone, he's arrogant and insulting. When he genuinely doesn't care, that's the only time you'll see him acting polite. But when he really likes a guy, it's going to be constant, incessant ribbing. If he's joking about Hollander, he's been over for dinner."
The online response has mainly shared this opinion, however, some fans have concerns that the comment instead signals a rejection of the friendship rumors, in a flippant and classic Rozanov way.
Hollander has not responded to Rozanov's recent comment, making it unclear if he's seen it yet or not. Regardless, Hollander has stayed professional, stating in a recent interview that Rozanov "is a player he has a lot of respect for, on and off the ice."
Jane: *sent a screenshot*
Jane: How is that not flirty?
Lily: oh
Lily: No.
Jane: What?
Lily: so lucky you already have a man
Jane: 😠
Iz @childofhollanov
hollanov hatefucking CONFIRMED?!?!?!
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
he fucking hates us 😭
>> Iz @childofhollanov
😭😭
Iz @childofhollanov
that fuckass article i promise you none of their actual fans said theyre softlaunching a FRIENDship
> Rizza @hockluvnlife
Is that not what theyre doing?? I think its cute 😥
>> Iz @childofhollanov
open your mind rizza they are kissing on the mouth
>>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
🤯
>>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
god if only 😭😭😭
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
the way Rozanov is literally making fun of us atp idk if im offended or proud 🥲
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
if he's making fun of you it means he knows hollanovs exist 🤔
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
dont feed my delusions the grippy socks are already calling me 😭😭😭
Lily: *shared a link*
Lily: still sure we don't just say it?
Jane: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
Jane: THEY CUT AROUND IT.
Jane: I SPECIFICALLY SAID "BEST PLAYER. BEST BODY TOO. ATHLETIC AS FUCK." AND THEY CUT AROUND IT.
Lily: what the fuck why
Lily: they're more invested in you being straight than you were
Jane: I hate this.
Lily: we can just announce it.
Jane: I guess but no.
Jane: I don't want it to be a big deal like it was with Scott Hunter. If we just ease them into it, maybe it won't even be news.
Lily: shane
Jane: Ok, it'll be news, but still.
Lily: is fine we do it your way I like flirting publicly
Jane: You tone it down and I'll tone it up, alright?
Lily: o7
Jane: What does that mean?
Lily: a salute o7777
Jane: What?
Lily: oh and best body don't think I forgot
Jane: Looking back on it I may have been slightly exaggerating.
Lily: shane.
Jane: You and I both know there's a lot of hot players in the league.
Lily: so you disagree with best body
Jane: Potentially.
Lily: a shame .I was going to fuck you about it
Jane: I'm sorry.
Jane: Wait.
Jane: Please.
Oz @montreallygay
"the best player" hollander are you a metros fan or not stand UP
> Rizza @hockluvnlife
tbf he was specifically NOT allowed to give any of the titles to himself
>> Oz @montreallygay
ok?? still mustve been at fucking gunpoint to give it to rozanov
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
he's just proud of his boyfriend 🥺
>> Oz @montreallygay
don't even joke i would never forgive him 😭
>>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
homophobe.
>>>> Oz @montreallygay
girl what im literally gay
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
there fully friends now do u live under a rock
>> Oz @montreallygay
rozanov made ONE JOKE and hollander said two things that were BARELY compliments and now theyre secret best friends ok. literally why would they fucking hide that. they hate each other just as much as their real fans do.
>>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
"why would they keep their friendship secret" 🫠🫠
Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
shane and hayden are dating and the only one who knows is there two best friends me and ilya rozanov
> Iz @childofhollanov
happy for you 🥲
> Rizza @hockluvnlife
no cuz i dont even care abt shipping but im already obsessed with the idea of them being besties
>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
platonic hollanov will cure the world of all evil
Iz @childofhollanov
hollander openly praising rozanov?? "best player, athletic as fuck" ohhhh i prayed for days like these
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
he stated objective facts. baby the bar is on the fucking floor 😭
>> Iz @childofhollanov
T-T
>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
poor hollanovs its rough out here for them
>>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
not a day goes by where im not reminded how much better it is to be a shayden
>>>> Iz @childofhollanov
god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers 😌
Lily: I swear I wasn't even trying to flirt this time
Lily: they take everything I say and make it gay. like you but opposite.
Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
oh god someone check on iz immediately
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
@fifthchildofshayden @fifthchildofshayden @fifthchildofshayden
Iz @childofhollanov
is he actually fucking with me.
Iz @childofhollanov
@realrozanov81 do you hate me specifically?
> Rizza @hockluvnlife
i'm so confused isn't this good for you? 💔
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
she is feeling many different emotions.
Ela @bostonqueeenof
Why rozanov's "gay jokes" are homophobic, a 🧵
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
dude what 😭😭😭
>> Ela @bostonqueeenof
Read my fucking dni hollanovs aren't fucking welcome here
>>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
i'm not even a hollanov???
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
ive been gone for a day whats happening why is the tl in flames
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
he said WHAT
[clip begins]
*Ilya Rozanov sits behind a metal table, fidgeting his fingers and shifting his weight restlessly. One hand is resting on the table, a straps on his fingers connected to wires leading off-screen.*
Interviewer (off-screen): You've been speaking oddly nice about Hollander recently. What do you really think of him?
*Rozanov shrugs, fidgeting and looking down at the table.*
Rozanov: I just think he is good guy. Good at hockey. Nice and boring. Will make good father to children.
*Cut to a man sitting next to a lie detector machine. He nods.*
Man: He's telling the truth.
[clip cuts]
Jane: Why would you say that?
Lily: everyone is implying the my. I meant children. just in general. not my children.
Lily: well that too
Jane: Shut up.
Jane: Ilya, that is so fucking bad. You're lucky we're not trying to hide it anymore holy shit.
Lily: sorry 😢
Jane: It's ok but Jesus, tone it down, alright?
Lily: …
Lily: have you thought
Lily: is actually fucking hilarious
Jane: No. It's not.
Lily: *sent a screenshot*
[image of an article from a gossip site. headline reads: Rozanov's Gay Unrequited Crush On Hollander (Yes We're Serious)]
Jane: Fuck.
Jane: It kind of is.
Chapter End Notes
if you comment ya tebya lyublyu
Rizza @hockluvnlife
wait omg who's topping @fifthchildofshayden @nmbr3shayden
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
shane
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
Shane.
Rizza @hockluvnlife
who's topping @childofhollanov @gaylove2481
> Iz @childofhollanov
rozy's wife
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
Iz
>> Iz @childofhollanov
well this is awkward
>>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
i meant in hollanov wtf 😭😭😭😭
Iz @childofhollanov
by the way will make good father to children. will make good father to children by the way. by the way Ilya Rozanov wants Shane Hollander to be the FATHER OF HIS CHILDREN
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
somebody free me
fern @fifthchildofshayden
fuck they really are friends shane reeled him all the way back in
> Iz @childofhollanov
we're halfway through their enemies to friends to lovers arc !!
↻ Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
i can't tell if he loves hollanovs or hates them but he definitely knows you guys exist
Rozanov @realrozanov81
yes the rumors are true me and Hollander have waved and I am hilarious
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
hollanders leash is tight but rozanovs happy to be on it
> Iz @childofhollanov
@hockluvnlife your answer to the top/bottom question
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
^^^
Lily: I tweeted
Lily: youre happy
Jane: Yes. ❤️
Lily: ❤️❤️
Rizza @hockluvnlife
why are we all unianimously agreeing shane hollander is a top? he kinda gives bottom energy to me
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
so are you a shayden or a hollanov
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
no
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
tbh i see hollander as verse but rozy's a bottom so he'll just top for his man
> Iz @childofhollanov
wait have we converted you????!!!!! Rizza's a shipper???
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
do not spread this rumour
Lily: I am going to do something.
Lily: it will be funny and you will not be mad.
Jane: Are you fucking manifesting?
Jane: Don't you dare do whatever it is I promise you I will be pissed.
Lily: 😘
Jane: ILYA.
[Video posted by @bostonhockeyofficial on TikTok]
*Ilya Rozanov stands at the edge of the rink while other Bruins players continue practice in the background. Text on the screen reads: What advice do you have for young hockey players?*
Rozanov: The trick is before shooting you dedicate your goal to hot person you must impress. When you make it then they love you and when game's over have sex with you.
Camerawoman (off-screen): What if you miss?
Rozanov: Do not miss.
Camerawoman: Can you give us a demonstration?
Rozanov: Yes. This is for hot man Shane Hollander. If I make it we have to fuck.
*Rozanov grabs his hockey stick and a puck and skates towards the net. The Bruins' goalie notices him and prepares for his approach. Rozanov shoots. The goalie blocks it.*
*The video punches in to a closeup on Rozanov's face. He looks surprised and devastated.*
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
are…are we even the delusional ones anymore?
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
the real delusional shipper is ilya.
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
RIGHT??? IS HE *ACTUALLY* DOWN BAD??????
Iz @childofhollanov
rozanovs actually so real bc i too would wake up one day almost ten years into my rivalry with shane hollander and suddenly realize hes the hottest man alive and all my previous goals would be forgotten
> Rizza @hockluvnlife
that vid didn't shake you as much as the children comment?
>> Iz @childofhollanov
the man said he wanted hollander to be the father of his children i have come to terms with the fact he actually genuinely is head over heels for hollander irl
>>> Ela @bostonqueenof
kill yourself
>>>> Iz @childofhollanov
why are you violating your own dni 😭😭
Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
shaydens what do we do now im having a crisis over the fact hollanovs are being fed better than us
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
shayden are in love and settled down ilyas crush doesnt matter you cant homewreck true love
>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
imagine hes not even into shane he just hates hayden that much
>>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
wouldnt put it past him
↻ Rozanov @realrozanov81
@hollanderofficial
Rozanov Updates @updatesofrozanov
Rozanov has been liking random users' vaguetweets about unrequited and forbidden love. *screenshot attached*
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
WHAT RHE FUCK IS HAPPENING
> Iz @childofhollanov
No baby you actually have to talk to him. Like what you do with girls but this time with a guy. You are not going to woo him over twitter. I believe in you sweetie.
↻ Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
is it hollanov? worse.
Rozanov @realrozanov81
@hollanderofficial
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
NOBODY could've predicted unrequited love hollanov
fern @fifthchildofshayden
ive lost all respect for him now hes such a loser
> Iz @childofhollanov
you have hated the bruins since the day you were born you never respected rozanov
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
both can be true
>>> Iz @childofhollanov
no they cant????
Rizza @hockluvnlife
let him cook shane hollander will fold eventually
> Iz @childofhollanov
rizza the hollanov?!?!?!?
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
i said no such thing
Lily: we are still dating yes?
Lily: you do not now hate me
Jane: *sent a link*
Rozanov Shoots His Shot (And Misses):
The full story of Ilya Rozanov trying (and failing) to woo his rival, Shane Hollander.
Jane: I love you, we're still dating.
Jane: But I may have to reconsider calling tonight since you missed that shot.
Jane: Bad hockey is a turn off.
Lily: I win tonight and fix
Jane: Text me after you do.
Lily: yes
Chapter End Notes
comments fuel me
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
I understand speculation is fun, but the reality is you don't know us so the things you come up with are always going to be way off base. The truth is Rozanov is honestly a wonderful man, and there is no unrequited anything. We feel the same way about each other and always have.
↻ Iz @childhollanov
it was fun while it lasted 😔😔☹️
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
I understand speculation is fun…
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
rip unrequited hollanov you were too beautiful, too young
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
im thinking about becoming a shane hollander anti
> Iz @childofhollanov
nooo i love him so much but why does he have to ruin hollanovs hopes and dreams 💔
Rizza @hockluvnlife
confession???
> Iz @childofhollanov
how is that possibly what you got from that 😭
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
how is it not????
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
now i get what they mean when they say delusional shippers
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
im not a shipper i just have eyes 😭😭😭
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
oh fuck hollander is going to break my babys heart without even realizing it 😠😢
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
no seriously how does he not know ilya has been flirting with him??
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
hes only got eyes for hayden doesnt even notice other men
>>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
REAL
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
guys i think he does know i think hes flirting back
Rizza @hockluvnlife
why does nobody listen to me
> Ela @bostonqueenof
felt that
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
oh heeeyyyyyyy i dont think you want to be here..
↻ Iz @childofhollanov
rizzas a shipper confirmed.
Rizza @hockluvnlife
oh heeeyyyyyyy i dont think you want to be here..
> Rizza @hockluvnlife
no
Jane: "Hollander gracefully reels things back into professionalism, making a statement for the more excitable fans that both his and Rozanov's feelings are platonic."
Jane: Fuck this.
Jane: I give up.
Lily: why dont we just announce it 😭
↻ Rozanov @realrozanov81
yes speculation is very fun. please speculate. 😘😘🤨🤪
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
I understand speculation is fun…
> Iz @childofhollanov
dont you worry rozanov we will absolutely continue to speculate o7
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
this is about how well i handle rejection too mate 😞
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
please tell me youre not british
> Rizza @hockluvnlife
also dont worry babe i dont think that was rejection i think he was flirting. shoot your shot!
>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
🥳🤩😎 ok
>>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
WHAT
Rizza @hockluvnlife
AM I HALLUCINATING AM I IN A COMA IS MY LIFE A SIMULATION
Rizza @hockluvnlife
somebody say sike PLEASE say sike right now what the actual FUCK
> Ela @bostonqueenof
so sorry Roz involved you in his weird joke thing 😕💛
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
girl how and why are you still here????
↻ Iz @childofhollanov
RIZZA WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO
Rozanov @realrozanov81
🥳🤩😎 ok
> Rizza @hockluvnlife
I DONT KNOW 😭😭😭
Rizza @hockluvnlife
if they actually get together bc of me i wont know what to do with myself
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
if they never get together im blaming you for rushing my slowburn
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
oh god no this is too much pressure 😖
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
im ahbr (assigned hollanov by rozanov)
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
dont lie you were a hollanov way before that
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
i could smell it on you
>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
???
>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
wait is THIS why you havent followed me back?????
Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
this is why i cant stand straight men making gay jokes
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
like rozanov has to be gay right?? hes coming out right?? hes got a huge crush on hollander right??? or is he just lmaoing
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
was going to retweet but then you said lmaoing
>>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
sorry
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
im quaking in my boots waiting to see what happens next
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
hayden tells rozanov to back off from his man
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
no ❤️
>>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
check dms ❤️
>>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
WHAT
Jane: Do you think maybe we should've told Hayden?
Lily: oh fuck
Lily: shit
Lily: i don't think about your lame friend
Jane: He's my friend. Don't be mean Ilya.
Lily: language barrier
Jane: No it fucking wasn't!
Lily: what did he say
Jane: *sent a link*
Hayden @hpikemetros4
hot hockey take: harassing players off the ice is fucking cowardly and using homophobia to do it is even more cowardly.
Lily: that is so fucking hilarious
Jane: No it's not.
Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
defend your mans honor hayden!!!
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
homophobia though?? 😭
>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
i dont know im just happy to have more shayden again
↻ Rozanov @realrozanov81
my hot take: bisexual men flirting with love of their life isnt homophobia
Hayden @hpikemetros4
hot hockey take: harassing players off the ice is fucking cowardly and using homophobia to do it is even more cowardly.
> Iz @childofhollanov
did rozanov just come out?????
> fern @fifthchildofhollanov
the girls are fighting
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
proud of you sweetheart
> Iz @childofhollanov
also "LOVE OF THEIR LIFE" ?????
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
he's so down bad
>>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
i cant believe this is actually real 😭
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
are you not going to congratulate rozanovs coming out @irlhollanovcreator ?
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
i am far too scared to interact with that man on here ever again. but welcome to the club rozanov 🩷💜💙
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
great day to be a bi 😎🩷💜💙
Shane: What are you doing?
Hayden: I am so fucking confused.
Shane: Don't get mad at Rozanov.
Hayden: how was I supposed to know he was bisexual?!
Shane: It wasn't homophobic either way.
Hayden: gay people disagree with you
Hayden: *sent a screenshot*
Shane: You based this off a twitter thread?
Shane: I don't even think she's gay.
Hayden: either way he's being weird to you. Someone's gotta say something.
Shane: He's not being weird Hayd it's fine. If I want him to stop I'll tell him to stop.
Hayden: you're actually friends?!
Hayden: I thought that was PR shit!
Hayden: when were you going to tell me about this?!
↻ Hayden @hpikemetros4
You fucking traitor
Ela @bostonqueenof
Hayden Pike's biphobia problem, a 🧵
> Ela @bostonqueenof
Read my dni
Chapter End Notes
here’s my tumblr btw if you wanna chat about this there
Scott Hunter @scotthunter
@realrozanov81 thank you for joining the out hockey players club, it was getting lonely in here. I know better than anyone how difficult and terrifying it is to take a step like that in our world. You are so brave and strong, I'm so proud of you.
> Vaughny @realcartervaughn
Couldn't have said it better ❤️
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
i already know this
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
I will steal your kip grady now
>> Scott Hunter @scotthunter
I take back everything I just said. Hands off Rozanov.
>>> Rozanov @realrozanov
I understand your fear do not worry I am only interested in one man @hollanderofficial @hollanderofficial @hollanderofficial
>>>> Iz @childofhollanov
rozanov i cant keep defending you 😭
>>>> Iz @childofhollanov
flirt OUTSIDE of twitter im begging you hollander cant kiss you via the internet
Scott Hunter: Congrats man
Rozanov: sorry not interested
Scott Hunter: Fuck off
Scott Hunter: Is Shane okay with it?
Rozanov: what do you mean shane
Rozanov: no I didnt ask hollander permission to be bisexual
Scott Hunter: Ha
Scott Hunter: Roz don’t freak out, I haven’t said anything to anyone and I absolutely won’t.
Scott Hunter: But I do know about you guys. I have known. I was in the room next door your first all star
Scott Hunter: You’re loud.
Rozanov: you want more
Scott Hunter: ?
Rozanov: *sent a voice message*
Scott Hunter: Oh my god Rozanov. I will never in my life press play on that message what the fuck is wrong with you
Scott Hunter: Please tell me you didn’t actually send audio of you two fucking
Rozanov: if I say I didn’t you will listen?
Scott Hunter: You couldn’t pay me to take that risk
Scott Hunter: Jesus christ I just wanted to make sure Shane is fine with your public flirting thing. Since, you know, more eyes on you two in this way is going to make it more likely they find out about him
Rozanov: yes he’s fine
↻ Rozy's Wife 🩷💜💙 @gaylove2481
awwww gays supporting gays 🥹🥹🥰🏳️🌈
Scott Hunter @scotthunter
@realrozanov81 thank you for joining the out…
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
this is the best timeline
>> Rozy's Wife 🩷💜💙 @gaylove2481
FR
>> Iz @childofhollanov
^^
Oz @montreallygay
im a proud member of the LGB(ER)TQIA+ community 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
what is the E and the R?
>> Oz @montreallygay
Excluding Rozanov
↻ Hayden @hpikemetros4
Struggling to find myself on here??
Ela @bostonqueenof
DNI: -racist, homophobe, transphobe, etc
-anyone anti-roz pre flirting, pro-roz post flirting and pre coming out, or anti-roz post coming out
-anti hockey
-pro nfl/mlb/nba/nhl
-gaylors or hetlors
-“hollanov” shippers 1/?
> Vaughny @realcartervaughn
I don't know what half of this means
>> Hayden @hpikemetros4
I had to look up so many words
> Ela @bostonqueenof
anti roz pre flirting
> Ela @bostonqueenof
blocked for violating dni
↻ fern @fifthchildofshayden
hayden log OFF
Hayden @hpikemetros4
I had to look up so many words
> Iz @childofhollanov
😭😭
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
someone needs to confiscate his phone 💔
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
@hollanderofficial
Scott Hunter: Are you okay with the flirting thing Rozanov's been doing?
Shane: Didn't he already tell you I am?
Scott Hunter: Yeah I just wanted to make sure
Scott Hunter: So he already told you I know about you guys?
Shane: He did.
Scott Hunter: Are you okay with that?
Shane: It's not like I can stop you from knowing if I'm not.
Shane: Sorry I mean yeah we're trying to come out now anyway so it's fine.
Scott Hunter: As in you both are?
Scott Hunter: When are you going to start trying to?
Shane: Fuck you.
Scott Hunter: ?
The Silence Is Deafening—Is Hollander a Homophobe Or Just Uncomfortable?
After Rozanov's coming out, fans wonder what Hollander has to say, and if his current silence is an indication of homophobia—or simply an expression of discomfort as Rozanov openly pursues him despite his own disinterest.
Jane: *sent a link*
Lily: lol
Lily: you are interested yes?
Jane: Very interested.
Lily: 😚
Jane: …
Lily: 🤨?
Jane: I’m going to do something funny and you won’t be mad.
Lily: wait no this sucks
Lily: shane
Lily: im sorry i did this
Lily: please tell me what
Lily: Shane.
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Congratulations @realrozanov81 on coming out. Very brave and impressive! As a straight man I support you. 🙂
> Iz @childofhollanov
oh.
> Rozy's Wife 🩷💜💙 @gaylove2481
the ROUGHEST friend zone i have EVER seen shane hollander when i catch you
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
oh its so over 😔
> fern @fifthchildofhollanov
so now we're just saying things
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
shane you cant be str**ght what about your beautiful wife hayden
Iz @childofhollanov
rozanov coming out as bi but at what cost 😔 (hollander coming out as str8)
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
i blame the hollanovs you guys ruin everything
>> Iz @childofhollanov
why are you dating one then?? 🧐
>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
they are?!?!?!?
Rozy's Wife (hollander anti) @gaylove2481
this is the worst day of my life
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
unrequited hollanov back on the menu 😭
Lily: ah I see
↻ Rozanov @realrozanov81
support me like how? to be real ally you must kiss me on lips
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Congratulations @realrozanov81 on coming…
> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Really?
>> Iz @childofhollanov
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING
Chapter End Notes
edit: I regrettably had to take away the “still friends with someone who was into dsmp in 2020” from Ela’s dni bc i realized that would date this FIRMLY post 2020 oops
Chapter 5
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
guys help Ela fucking followed me im so fucking scared
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
how does this even happen
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
idfk !!!! 😭
> Iz @childofhollanov
personally i would block her and/or follow back
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
"and"??????
Iz @childofhollanov
oh god help me theyre at it again
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
interview? i dont see new tweets
>> Iz @childofhollanov
insta
[image of Shane Hollander in a cafe, looking down at his phone and smiling]
_ilyaroz
shooting my shot!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍🏒🍑
[image of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov sitting at a table with two coffees between them, looking at the camera and smiling stiffly]
shanehollander
nothing better than a coffee date with a new friend @_ilyaroz ❤️
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
what have i done what is this monster i have made
Rozanov @realrozanov81
he sent me a heart quickly what does this mean
> Rozy's Wife (hollander anti) @gaylove2481
i hate to say it but i saw that post rozy hes friendzoning you HARD
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
at least theyre friends?
>>> Rozy's Wife (hollande… @gaylove2481
fuck my baka life
↻ Rozy's Wife (hollander anti) @gaylove2481
hey @realrozanov81 im an ally i can prove it i can prove im an ally i can i volunteer please let me prove it
Rozanov @realrozanov81
support me like how? to be real ally you must kiss me on lips
> Rozy's Wife (hollander anti) @gaylove2481
@irlhollanovcreator help me out he listens to you
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
no im not @ ing him for you
>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
with great power comes great responsibility
>>>> Rozy's Wife (hollande… @gaylove2481
fake friend
Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
im having trouble keeping the shayden faith after recent events in my mind shane is either straight or closeted even to himself and in love with ilya
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
OR he could be closeted even to himself and in love with hayden
>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
were so back
Scott Hunter: 1. Have you changed your mind about coming out and 2. Have you informed Rozanov
Shane: No.
Scott Hunter: Then what the fuck is going on
Scott Hunter: Am I missing something?
Rozanov: leave my beautiful man alone you will not steal him
Scott Hunter: I'm not trying to steal him
Scott Hunter: Kip thinks you guys are joking?
Rozanov: yes you must be several generations younger to understand i think
Scott Hunter: 🖕
Scott Hunter: Don't you think these jokes might make it harder for Shane to come out though?
Scott Hunter: Can you guys stop fucking ghosting me?
Rozanov @realrozanov81
men you are all so pretty but please stop throwing yourself at me now that im bi im still not interested unless youre second best professional hockey player in league
> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
I'm confused. You're only interested in yourself?
>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
what are you doing this friday
>>> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
I have a game.
>>>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
ok then after 👨❤️💋👨✅
>>>>> Rozy’s Wife (hol… @gaylove2481
how is this my life
Iz @childofhollanov
the way i cant fucking tell if shane is in on the joke or just that oblivious
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
I have a game.
> Oz @montreallygay
rip my rivalry, fuck pr stunts
Ela @bostonqueenof
hollander leading rozanov on instead of rejecting him even tho he KNOWS rozanov is canonically bi is homophobia btw
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
"canonically"
>> Ela @bostonqueenof
blocked for violating dni
Rozy's Wife (hollander anti) @gaylove2481
noooo she finally got theodoree
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
i worked so hard to hold the line 😢😢😢
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
are we all blocked by ela now then?
>> Rozy's Wife (hollande… @gaylove2481
check rizzas followers
>>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
theres no fucking way
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
enough games @gaylove2481 @childofhollanov which one of you is dating fern
> Rozy's Wife (hollander anti) @gaylove2481
definitely not me
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
🤨
> Iz @childofhollanov
you know we're not the only hollanovs in existence right
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
youre the only ones fern talks to
>>> Iz @childofhollanov
theyre entire life is not all on the internet 🙄
Vaughny @realcartervaughn
Congratulations Hollander and Rozanov!
> Hayden @hpikemetros4
Delete this
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
oh no that's notttt what's happening
> Iz @childofhollanov
vaughn do you know something i dont
↻ Vaughny @realcartervaughn
Sorry guys I guess I'm just stupid 😅
Vaughny @realcartervaughn
Congratulations Hollander and Rozanov!!
> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
I don't think you're stupid!
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
do not let internet fool you hollander is madly in love with me
>> Oz @montreallygay
you WISH
>> Rozy's Wife (hollande… @gaylove2481
if only 😭
>> Iz @childofhollanov
the DELUSION is CRAAAZY
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
yes rozanov keep manifesting !!!
fern @fifthchildofshayden
hayden hating on hollanov yet again i know thats right
Hayden @hpikemetros4
Delete this
> Iz @childofhollanov
he'll be so sad when he finds out his love for shane is unrequited and hollanov is real
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
keep dreaming 🙂↔️
Ela @bostonqueenof
moots? 🥹🙏
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
guys help Ela fucking followed me im so fucking scared
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
ok 😭😭😭😭
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Stay tuned. Big announcement incoming! @reebok
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
reebok will announce what weve hooked up many times over the years?
>> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
No that's not what I'm announcing this time.
>>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
so when? 😢🙁💔
↻ Iz @childofhollanov
doctor help hes out again
Rozanov @realrozanov81
reebok will announce what weve hooked up many times over the years?
Hayden: please tell him to stop
Hayden: if I have to see one more fucking post of Rozanov flirting with you I'm going to lose it
Shane: you are homophobe still?
Shane: bad idea one of your million children have to be gay
Hayden: give Shane his phone back before he has a panic attack
Hayden: also who is this?
Hayden: wait
Hayden: DOES ROZANOV HAVE YOUR FUCKING PHONE
Shane: want to see what would be my lock screen if i could
Shane: *sent a photo*
[image of Shane and Ilya embracing. Shane sits on Ilya's lap and grins at the camera while Ilya kisses his cheek]
Hayden: BAD JOKE
Hayden: BAD PRANK
Hayden: NOT FUNNY AT ALL
Hayden: delete your weird photoshopped photo and give Shane his phone
Shane: not photoshop
Shane: now stop your stupid whining
Shane: you will call shane and I will give phone and you will NOT be bad about this you will be nice or your children will be orphan
*incoming call from Hayden Pike*
Chapter 6
Chapter Notes
thank you commenter for reminding me of the world building I had neglected in previous chapters sometimes I forget you guys do not have all of the context I have created in my head.
Hayden @hpikemetros4
What the fuck is my life
> Vaughny @realcartervaughn
You good man 😃?
>> Hayden @hpikemetros4
NO.
Jane: *sent a screenshot*
Lily: I told you he will be fine
Jane: Actually fuck you.
Lily: you act like we didnt talk about it.
Jane: You didn't let me emotionally prepare.
Lily: you mean panic and freak out no I didnt youre welcome
Lily: you are okay and good still?
Jane: Yeah. I feel sick but I'm fine. It went fine so.
Lily: thought you said good before. you mean fine?
Jane: You're just looking for an excuse to hate Hayden. It went good.
Lily: I don't need excuse I already do
Lily: just wondering if I need to make orphans
Jane: Please don't. They'd go to me and I'd have to retire from hockey to look after them.
Lily: you don't want to be my stay at home wife ☹️
Jane: I wouldn't be your housewife I'd be a single mom. You'd be in fucking jail.
Lily: i would write letters and you could have my money
Jane: Tempting.
Jane: But no sex.
Lily: phone sex
Jane: That's not how that works.
Jane: Anyway none of the kids should be orphans, they don't deserve that.
Jane: And Jackie has nothing to do with your hatred of Hayden but she'd be murdered too if you're making orphans. That's not fair.
Jane: And Hayden is my friend I don't want him to die please.
Lily: saved most unimportant for last thank you
Lily: fine I will not murder so you can still have your sex and hockey
Lily: and for innocent women and children
Jane: Thank you.
Lily: 😇
fern @fifthchildofshayden
hayden having an entire crisis but not sharing with the class :////
> Iz @childofhollanov
no cuz im so curious
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
he just found out you cant get someone pregnant with anal and now hes wondering how shane was able to have his children (shane lives in omegaverse rules)
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
WHAT. THE FUCK.
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
i love whatevers wrong with you
arther @shaywhatumean
in case you needed yet another reason to fucking hate ilya rozanov, here's one. fuck him for shoving shane back into the closet by freaking him out with his stupid fucking joke. idfc if he's bi he's a disgusting homophobe
> Giulia @shaydengirlypop
poor shane seemed so uncomfortable with all of the jokes 😕
>> arther @shaywhatumean
and hayden's the ONLY one who cared
> Hannahhhh @hannahtheshayden
"idfc if he's bi" no cuz he literally probably not. probably made that shit up just to get away with this psychological warfare shit
>> arther @shaywhatumean
😶
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
hollander is literally obviously in on it tho??? like he maybe is even into rozanov now. maybe hes giving him MORE courage to come out
>> arther @shaywhatumean
this is why I can't stand you delusional fucking hollanovs. shane has MULTIPLE CHILDREN with hayden but he wants to fuck ilya because of your weird fucking enemies to lovers kink? ok. shayden wouldn't have to be in the closet if people like you wouldn't keep making up randomass stories about their personal life instead of LISTENING TO WHAT THEY TELL US. you guys are fucking weird.
Iz @childofhollanov
RIZZA NO. DO NOT VENTURE OUT OF OUR BEAUTIFUL VILLAGE UNPREPARED AND UNARMED
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
what the fuck is wrong with him ?? 😭
>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
oh god rizza i forget we were your introduction to hollanov and shayden. we should have warned you
>> Rozy's Wife (hollande… @gaylove2481
that is. in fact. what it's like out there.
>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
WHAT 😭😭😭😭
>>>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
why do you think we basically ONLY interact with each other on here ;-;
>>>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
what the fuck fandom did you guys get me into 🥲
Rose @roselandry
Excited to be going back to Montreal for the next X Squad movie !!! 💜💜
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
no bad idea stay there
>> Rose @roselandry
???
Rose: Did rozanov just threaten me?
Shane: He just says weird shit online sometimes don't worry about it.
Rose: Ok I guess
↻ Iz @childofhollanov
rozanov STOP THIS BEHAVIOR
Rozanov @realrozanov81
no bad idea stay there
> Rozy's Wife (hollander anti) @gaylove2481
why did it never occur to me that roz would be jealous of rose
>> Iz @childofhollanov
LITERALLY
>>> Rozy's Wife (hollande… @gaylove2481
fanfiction incoming
>>>> Iz @childofhollanov
Godspeed. 🫡
fern @fifthchildofshayden
sometimes i fear a love as good shaydens doesn’t and cannot exist and then she takes me on a date and i remember mines literally better than theirs <3333
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
date with who 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
your ignorance sickens me
>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
TELL ME 😭😭😭😭
Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
confession i kind of miss ilya being the villainous homophobe in all of my shayden imaginations instead of the evil ex
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
actually real
> Iz @childofhollanov
you shaydens sure are something
Recent interview with Hollander, transcription:
Interviewer: Rozanov recently came out via his very public flirting with you. You expressed your support for his bisexuality, but do you have any other thoughts to share on the situation?
Hollander: There's room for everyone on the ice. Especially men who can make other men blush. Throws them off their game.
Interviewer: Your ex girlfriend Rose Landry used to come to your games when she could. Has you ever blushed and gotten thrown off your game?
Hollander: No, and that's why you've gotta love Rozanov. He helped me learn very quickly how to play well even while flustered. More players should prioritize keeping their hockey consistent while hot people flirt with them.
Interviewer: [laughing] Noted.
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
flustered he said flustered mark my words that man is starting to fall
> Iz @childofhollanov
PLEASE that is all i want and need
Rose: *sent a screenshot*
Rose: Rozanov told you to kiss him on the mouth to be an ally and you said really????
Rose: What the hell did I miss??
Shane: I don't know I thought it was funny.
Rose: Someone said to look at rozanovs twitter
Shane: Please don't scroll his twitter.
Rose: You know you can't stop me
Rose: Holy shit
Rose: Is this guy in love with you
Rose: Please message him please
Rozanov @realrozanov81
ok no more fun and games me and Hollander have been kissing and other things since before rookie season and dating for a while now
> Iz @childofhollanov
god no hes writing his own fanfiction hes down BAD
Rizza @childofhollanov
too good to be true too good to be true too good to be true too go—
> Rozy's Wife (hollander anti) @gaylove2481
SAME i wish i could believe it for but a moment 🥲
> Ela @bostonqueenof
someone should call someone rozanov might be in psychosis im genuinely worried😕💔
>> Rizza @childofhollanov
oh! ok 😀
Rozanov Moved On From Pretending To Be In Love With Hollander, Now Pretending To Be In a Relationship With Him
Lily: *sent a link*
Lily: well
Jane: Scott Hunter was right.
Lily: no do not say things like that
Lily: is just more time to make funny jokes online now. we can always kiss later in front of cameras
Jane: You look ridiculous now.
Lily: is ok I am anyway
Jane: True, true.
Lily: no do not agree
Lily: bad boyfriend
Jane: 😇
Lily: 😒
Lily: divorce 😒
Jane: That's not the right word in English. Not how you translate половое сношение.
Lily: five minutes I will be there
Jane: DO NOT SPEED.
Lily: yes yes
Lily: also no more google translate for you
Jane: 🙁
Rose @roselandry
I ship it! Hollanov forever
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
wrong + youre evil + I hate you
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
nevermind I searched what ship and hollanov means
>> Rose @roselandry
Worry not we are on the same team
>>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
yes
>>> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Rose is a bruins fan now? 😧
>>>> Rose @roselandry
😆Ew no + Message him!!!
Chapter 7
Scott Hunter: Shane I'm going to be honest, I think you need to take a moment to think this through.
Scott Hunter: Obviously Rozanovs having his fun not giving a shit about anything
Scott Hunter: But if you guys keep this up no one will ever believe you're being serious when you actually try to come out.
Shane: Noted.
Scott Hunter: Shane I'm being completely fucking serious.
Shane: We don't need you to fucking babysit us holy shit.
Scott Hunter: Hollander, calm the fuck down.
Scott Hunter: I'm just giving you my perspective. You need more people's input on this than just Rozanov
Shane: Oh yes because he is the one forcing me to do everything got it.
Scott Hunter: You're being a fucking child you know that's not what I meant
Lily: do you think maybe we just tell now
Jane: *sent a screenshot*
Lily: nevermind forever
Lily: we never stop
Jane: I would rather die at this point than do what 80 year old Scott Hunter wants.
Lily: yes
Lily: fuck that old man
Rozanov @realrozanov81
[image of three texts]
get a man like this 😍😍😍
> Rose @roselandry
Shane?????
>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
👨❤️👨👨❤️👨👨❤️👨👨❤️💋👨👨❤️💋👨👨❤️💋👨👨❤️💋👨👨❤️💋👨👨❤️💋👨👨❤️💋👨👨❤️💋👨👨❤️💋👨
>>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
what i'm hearing here is polyamory
>>>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
shaydens we're so back
Hannah @hannahnov
what we know about #phonenumbergate ->
> Hannah @hannahnov
Rozanov seemingly received texts from someone saying "I would rather die at this point than do what 80 year old Scott Hunter wants." (Rozanov replies, "yes / fuck that old man")
>> Hannah @hannahnov
Rozanov claims/implies this text is from Hollander. If true, this would be confirmation the two have each other's phone numbers
>>> Hannah @hannahnov
Evidence it is Hollander: they're publicly friends now; they're joking around in public, likely in private too; basically the only actual fight of Hollander's career was between him and Hunter, they've definitely had some sort of beef at some point.
>>>> Hannah @hannahnov
And it matches very closely with Hollander's texting style (capitalization, punctuation.) Doesn't necessarily match /what/ he says though.
>>>>> Hannah @hannahnov
Evidence it isn't Hollander: he and Hunter are friends; the fight was years ago, they were friends before and friends after; Rozanov makes fun of older players' age, Hollander doesn't, he treats them with respect
>>>>>> Hannah @hannahnov
Rozanov has been sprinkling in lies with the truth in his pursual of Hollander, could easily be another lie
>>>>>>> Hannah @hannahnov
Conclusion: we still can't be sure whether Hollander and Rozanov have each other's numbers or not. There's plenty of evidence they might, but equally as much evidence Rozanov just made it up.
↻ Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
"Rozanov makes fun of older players' age, Hollander doesn't" but what about that lip reader's vid of the fight? that should go in evidence it IS Hollander, no?
Hannah @hannahnov
Evidence it isn't Hollander: he and Hunter are friends; the fight was years ago, they were friends before and friends after; Rozanov makes fun of older players' age, Hollander doesn't, he treats them with respect
> Hannah @hannahnov
if you see that as reliable evidence I can't fucking help you you're LOST.
>> Holli @hllnvisreeel
literally cuz hollander would never say half the shit that faker said he did
>>> Hannah @hannahnov
yupppppp
Rozy's Wife (hollander anti) @gaylove2481
Rizza COME BACK HOME 😭😭😭😭
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
talking with them is so entertaining though
>> Rozy's Wife (hollande… @gaylove2481
ah so they havent sent death threats yet
>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
girl what
fern @fifthchildofshayden
i'm 100% certain those texts were in fact from shane and my source is i really want them to be
> Rozy's Wife (hollander anti) @gaylove2481
REAL
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
ur still a shane anti :////
>>> Rozy's Wife (hollande… @gaylove2481
but those texts are making me consider coming back to the light..
Iz @childofhollanov
us metros and bruins may have our differences but we can all come together under our lord and savior shane hollander and agree new york fucking SUCKS
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
hopecore
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Me and my good friend (yes, friends) Ilya Rozanov went on a run this morning, then shared a @orangecreme
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
do not try to put me in your brands i am a good christian boy i save this behavior for marriage not just boyfriends
> Hayden @hpikemetros4
what has the world come to
>> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
😒
>>> Hayden @hpikemetros4
Love is love
> Vaughny @realcartervaughn
Friends! Never thought I'd see the day!
>> Iz @childofhollanov
the way them fucking was a less surprising idea to you
> Rose @roselandry
Omg it's happening!!
>> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
What is?
>>> Rose @roselandry
It pisses me off people are going to see this and assume you're unaware instead of funny
>>>> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Unaware of what?
>>>>> Rose @roselandry
Shane you can't keep getting away with this 😭😭😭🤣
Iz @childofhollanov
@hollanderofficial do you mean (yes, friends) in a we're not enemies way or in a i know you guys are shipping me way???? THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW
> Iz @childofhollanov
@hollanderofficial SHANE WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY SHARED WAS THERE ONLY ONE CAN DID YOUR LIPS TOUCH DID YOU FUCK
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE 😭😭
Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
HAYDEN IS JEALOUS WERE SO BACK WERE SO BACK
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
were so back?? ive been here the whole time??? why do you keep leaving???
>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
im sorry i have such little faith
>>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
barely even a shayden atp smh smh
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
idk if it helps but my tarot deck said hollander wants to kiss rozanov 👀👀👀👀
> Ela @bostonqueenof
wait really??
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
did it also tell you it's going to be colder in the winter than it is in the summer.
> Iz @childofhollanov
the sky is blue, water is wet,
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
no way because I asked a pigeon, a toddler, and a rock and they all said he wants to kiss HAYDEN. currently 3 vs 1 :/
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
replying is optional 😔😭
Rozanov @realrozanov81
"yes, friends." hm. odd to me he says this when we did so much kissing and fucking after game yesterday
> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
You wish.
>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
did you not say you wish I never stop last night?? I am getting mixed signals
>>> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Come over tonight?
>>>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
yes
>>>> Iz @childofhollanov
HOLLANDER PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
Scott Hunter: Is this fucking foreplay?!
[image of a room full of people in formal wear in the background while in the foreground Ilya Rozanov kisses an annoyed but blushing Shane Hollander's cheek]
_ilyaroz
me and my boyfriend and boring people and cool charity 😍😍😍😛
[image of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, each with an arm around the other's shoulder, in front of a wall declaring information about the charity]
shanehollander
me and @_ilyaroz and lots of other awesome players support @hockeyagainstICE Show your support as well with a $5 donation!
Scott Hunter @scotthunter
Do not drink with Rozanov Dont do it bad idea
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
not my fault you are lightweight
>> Vaughn @realcartervaughn
He's not even a lightweight what did you do to him lmfao
Hayden @hpikemetros4
@beautifulnycvenues WHY DO ALL YOUR FUCKING BUILDINGS HAVE SUCH HIDDEN BATHROOMS
> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Why are you snooping through the building instead of asking someone for the bathroom? 🫤
>> Hayden @hpikemetros4
@beautifulnycvenues @beautifulnycvenues @beautifulnycvenues FIX YOUR FUCKING BATHROOM PROBLEM PLEASE
Vaughny @realcartervaughn
I just saw something I wasn't meant to see 😅
> Hayden @hpikemetros4
welcome to the club pal it fucking sucks in here
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
no I think people hide better things not meant for you to see
>> Vaughny @realcartervaughn
Wait really?
Rozanov @realrozanov81
everybody with freckles you can tear them off now sorry you'll never do them right and good enough as hollander give up now
> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Aw thanks. ❤️
>> Iz @childofhollanov
hollander wake the fuck up HE IS FLIRTING WITH YOU
Vaughn: To be absolutely clear I am happy for you guys
Rozanov: of course. two hottest men in world fuck each other and love each other. is best news. who wouldn't be happy
Vaughn: For sure!
Vaughn: So um 😅 did you really *want* me to walk in?
Rozanov: not available for threesomes sorry
Rozanov: deeply monogamously in love with each other
Vaughn: THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT SORRY
Vaughn: Just that was you guys intentionally coming out? I didn't assume that in the moment since you guys looked so surprised
Rozanov: no was not plan that would be stupid plan
Rozanov: but we know people go into rooms at events
Rozanov: we would not kiss in such obvious places if we still care about getting caught
Vaughn: Ah ok gotcha.
Rozanov: hollander would have already interrogated you and blackmailed you and threatened your family
Vaughn: God 😅
Vaughn: I get it for sure but it's hard and terrifying to imagine sweet Shane doing that
Rozanov: well probably he would have me do it for him
Rozanov: he has a reputation and things
Vaughn: For some reason it doesn't surprise me that Rozanov would threaten people for Shane lol
Rozanov: I would do whatever for shane
Vaughn: Holy fuck that's so sweet
Rozanov: blocking you now
Vaughn: No wait! I didn't mean it! You're still big and mean and scary
Rozanov: yes very big
Vaughn: lmao
Oz @montreallygay
i figured it out. hollanders such a good ally he thinks he publicly has to be friends with rozanov since he's the only out bi guy in the league. it fucking sucks but at least i get it
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
or idk maybe he just literally is friends with him because there's no reason to lie about this
>> Oz @montreallygay
i can and will ruin your fucking life if you don't keep your stupid fucking opinions to yourself
Holli @hllnvisreeel
It's so heartwarming to see hollander and rozanov finally having the courage to be open about their relationship!!! ❤️💙💛🖤
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
you think they're already in a relationship?
>> Holli @hllnvisreeel
Yeah look at my pinned they got secretly married at 16
>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
i agree its possible they might already be dating but married at 16 seems like a little bit of a stretch
>>>> Holli @hllnvisreeel
Ok not my fault you're literally fucking stupid there's actually so much evidence it's insane but sure be willfully obtuse idc
Hayden @hpikemetros4
hey @realrozanov81 I have a long list of men I would sacrifice and give you their numbers if you stop it with shane
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
I hope everyone who loves you abandons you forever and decides to hate you I hope you break your face in hockey and can no longer play or get laid and your tragic career finally ends I hope after very long and lame life you die cold and unhappy
↻ Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Okay that's enough you're pissing me off.
Hayden @hpikemetros4
hey @realrozanov81 I have a long list of men I would sacrifice and give you their numbers if you stop it with shane
↻ Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
MY shane hollander on MAIN?!?!??!???
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Okay that's enough you're pissing me off.
> Iz @childofhollanov
shayden divorce arc 🥰🥰🥰
fern @fifthchildofshayden
SHAYDEN DIVORCE ARC ;-; ;-; ;-;
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
😭😭😭😭
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
I MISS THE DAYS WE WERE FED BETTER THAN HOLLANOVS WHAT IS THIS FUCKING ECONOMY
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
ilya really knows how to ruin everything
Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
considering becoming a hollanov in these trying times
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
YES JOIN US
> Iz @childofhollanov
its never too late to get better 🥹❤️🩹
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
i will never kiss a mouth that speaks like this
>>> Iz @childofhollanov
WAY too late
Rose Landry (!) (shane's gf): Stop trying to sabotage my hollanov dreams it's pissing me off
Hayden: what the fuck
Rose Landry (!) (shane's EX): Shane cares about you asshole! If you keep being so loudly against it I fear he'll never have the courage to kiss rozanov
Rose Landry (!) (shane's EX): Do not take my yaoi away from me
Lily: do you think they finally understand
Lily: *sent a link*
MULTIPLE SOURCES CONFIRM: Two Men Kissing At Charity Event Last Night — Were They HOLLANDER AND ROZANOV?
Jane: We’ll see LMAO.
Chapter End Notes
by the way i made an angsty ilya edit if you’re interested in that it’s on tumblr or tiktok ptI ptII
Chapter 9
Chapter Notes
there is Russian in this sorry in advance to Russian speakers I did my best but there will be mistakes on account of I do not know a single word of Russian.
Unknown: you must date Ilya.
Unknown: please you must is very important.
Hollander: Not fucking funny Rozanov. You almost gave me a panic attack, I thought my number leaked.
Unknown: not Ilya but number not leaked.
Unknown: Rose’s friend don't worry.
Unknown: so how do you feel about Ilya?
Unknown: Shane Hollander do not ghost me :(
Shane: Don't give out my number please.
Rose: Awww come on 🥺
Shane: I'm serious.
Rose: I know 😔
Rose: I won't give it to anyone else promise
[snippet of Man In The Crease’s latest podcast episode]
“It was Hollander and Rozanov! It was Hollander and Rozanov! Do you not hear yourselves? You sound like twelve-year-olds. Your two favorite hockey players are kissing because what? They were at the same party and you can’t understand their online banter without making it gay?”
“They have confirmed that two men were kissing though—”
“Oh really, and have we just forgotten that Hunter was there? Did I just stress-hallucinate him winning the cup and getting MVP? Of course two men were kissing, but it’s no secret who they were—it’s Hunter and his boyfriend. Obviously!”
“You know what? I think you’ve convinced me.”
“That it was Hunter?”
“No, that we hallucinated him winning the cup and getting MVP.”
“Yeah, see, that makes much more sense, doesn’t it?”
Iz @childofhollanov
man in the crease WHY are you talking about hollanov i actually enjoyed your fucking podcast 😭😭
> Rozy’s Wife @gaylove2481
at the end of the day they’ll always be straight men
>> Iz @childofhollanov
ughhhhhhh how can they be so BLIND
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
No guys, it was not Scott Hunter and his boyfriend, it was not me and Rozanov, it was actually Rozanov and Scott Hunter’s boyfriend.
> Scott Hunter @scotthunter
Don’t worry me and Shane gave our permission
>> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
I would literally never.
>>> Scott Hunter @scotthunter
Me either 😂
>>>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
you are so lucky i do not want kip
>>>>> Scott Hunter @scotthunter
Except Kip literally does not want you so I don’t know why you keep pretending he does
>>>>>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
is not true everybody wants me 😉😝😘
arther @shaywhatumean
#hollanovkiss is the stupidest shit i’ve seen in my entire life THANK YOU man in the crease for pointing it out
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
hey so hunters bf literally wasnt even at that event idk why everyone wants to be willfully obtuse about this
>> arther @shaywhatumean
me when i make things up on the internet
>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
no unlike you guys i have a source [link]
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
THEY FUCKING BLOCKED ME LMAO 😭
> Ela @bostonqueenof
who did
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
…why
>>> Ela @bostonqueenof
so i can block them too
>>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
awwww 😭 ill dm you
Rozanov @realrozanov81
ok best place to take hollander on date go
Rozanov @realrozanov81
wow you guys do not know my boyfriend at all nevermind
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
his life is not just hockey you know. well it is a little but still. shame
Sveta: ты наконец признаёшь, что запал на Холландера и вместо того чтобы написать мне…
Sveta: …ты публично унижаешься, чтобы привлечь внимание какого-то мужика?
Ilyusha: не хочу об этом говорить
Sveta: что случилось с Джейн?
Ilyusha: мне нужен только Холландер
Sveta: ой, Илюша…
Sveta: дай мне его номер
Ilyusha: ни в коем случае
Sveta: фу!
Theodoree @nmbr3hollanov
hello fellow hollanovs help am i doing this right?
> Iz @childofhollanov
no you’re not the number 3 hollanov you’re at least after hollander, rozanov, and rizza
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
and rose landry!
>>> Rozy’s Wife @gaylove2481
and rozanovs secret wife (me)
>>>> Theodoree @nmbr3hollanov
i have so much to learn 😭
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
fucking traitor
>> Theodoree @nmbr3hollanov
MY CHILDREN NEED TO EAT
Ela @bostonqueenof
scroll #hollanovkiss if you need a good block list
> Ela @bostonqueenof
THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO KEEP THE KISS QUIET WHY ARE YOU AS A GROWN ADULT POSTING ABOUT IT
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
sorry 😕
>>> Ela @bostonqueenof
no bestie you were just clearing up misinformation I’m talking about people who are prying into their business instead of letting them have their first kiss in peace!!
Scott Hunter: I think it may be time for me to step in and give you the Rozanov is the guy Shane chose and you need to accept that talk
Pike: what you have one drink with rozanov and now you’re like best friends?
Scott Hunter: It was more than one drink unfortunately
Scott Hunter: A lot more
Scott Hunter: But during that conversation, I realized we’ve been thinking about this wrong. In a way that’s really unfair to Shane
Pike: enlighten me
Scott Hunter: We’ve been treating this like Rozanov picked Shane and now they’re together
Scott Hunter: Therefore failing to understand that Shane chose Rozanov
Scott Hunter: So he must be the kind of guy that wants Rozanov instead of anybody else.
Pike: gross gross gross
Scott Hunter: Which means he’s not this naive angel child we’ve been treating him like
Pike: ugh i fucking knew that part too
Pike: or i kind of knew it. i guess this shane is a little new to me
Scott Hunter: Also responding gross to their love is definitely a homophobic thing to do.
Pike: great now i’m homophobic AND biphobic?
Scott Hunter: Those things do usually go together actually
Pike: i don’t hate gay people you and Kip is fine. shane being gay is fine. i just hate him and rozanov specifically
Scott Hunter: Ok but that’s not NOT homophobic
Scott Hunter: Find a class on this actually it’s not my job
Pike: THEY HAVE ALLY CLASSES?
Pike: THANK GOD
Rozanov @realrozanov81
ready to play hard against metros tonight as the result determines in what way me and hollander will fuck
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
@realrozanov81 You should meet me in the locker room after the game.
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
👀👀👀🍆🍆?????
>> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Yes.
>>> Iz @childofhollanov
just another tuesday i guess
Chapter 10
Rozanov @realrozanov81
do you think shane would love me if I was a worm
> Marlow @actualmarlowbruins
he'd be fuckin stupid not to
> Vaughny @realcartervaughn
Everybody would love you if you were a worm just like everybody loves you exactly as you are right now
> Rose @roselandry
He would take such good care of his Rozanov worm I promise you and I would help
> Scott Hunter @scotthunter
He would never stop loving you and you'd be the best worm in the world at hockey
> Hayden @hpikemetros4
what the fuck is happening in these replies
> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
What is this question? I don't love worms.
>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
not even if it's me????
>>> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
No you'd be a worm. I don't love worms.
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Did I say something wrong? He won't talk to me.
> Rose Landry @roselandry
SHANE 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
>> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
It's okay I fixed it.
>>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
we came up with worm plan in case and then had much sex
>>>> Rose Landry @roselandry
Glad to see you guys made up?? Lol 😆
>>>>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
mostly still isn't quite perfect though
>>>>>> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
I don't fucking care how or when you became a worm I would not have worm sex with you.
>>>>>>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
don't fall in love with your heroes ☹️☹️💔
Rose's friend?: Shane Hollander are you still ghosting me.
Rose's friend?: Shane Hollander has Ilya genuinely asked you out before?
Rose's friend?: do you think he's just joking about being into you? i don't think so.
Rose's friend?: why are you still not answering?
Rose's friend?: you are so scared of me.
↻ Iz @childofhollanov
dont you worry rozanov you have taught me this lesson WELL with the way youve been acting
Rozanov @realrozanov81
don't fall in love with your heroes ☹️☹️💔
> Rozy’s Wife @gaylove2481
right like its cute fs but also the secondhand embarrassment is…
↻ Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
idk what answer he expected this is objectively a horrible question to ask hollander
Rozanov @realrozanov81
do you think shane would love me if I was a worm
> Iz @childofhollanov
true but i really wanted him to say yes 😕
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
i bet he'd love hayden if he was a worm
Theodoree @nmbr6hollanov
hollanov hcs:
-they work out together
-there super sweet and supportive of each other
-not rly competitive i think it's cuter if there not
-best friends for years before getting together
-help each other with random life shit like moving n picking up from airports
-super sweet but kinda vanilla sex
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
did…did you just make hollanov shayden??
>> Theodoree @nmbr6hollanov
no i swear i didnt
> Iz @childofhollanov
sweetie you cant just call your shayden hcs hollanov hcs and call it good
>> Theodoree @nmbr6hollanov
these were never supposed to be shayden guys i worked so fucking hard on these too they took so fucking long 😭😭😭😭
> clove @hllnvtruther
vanilla sex? you should die 😄
>> Theodoree @nmbr6hollanov
and this is why they invented the block button 😀
Hayden @hpikemetros4
I understand I have not always been the best ally, and I'm sorry for that, but I am committed to learning and growing, as all of us should be. Queer Theirstories has been a great resource to help me learn more about the LGBTQ community and what I can do to help them.
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
hayden AND shane come out as straight…coincidence??? or are they KISSING???
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
fuck i wish theodoree was stronger i have no one to talk to about this now
> Ela @bostonqueenof
we are all learning and growing and it takes guts to be open and vulnerable about it. Thank you for taking accountability, apology accepted <33333
↻ Hayden @hpikemetros4
HER HIGHNESS HAS UNBLOCKED ME LETS GOOOOOO 😎😎😎😎
Ela @bostonqueenof
we are all learning and growing and…
> fern @fifthchildofhollanov
hayden pike of the montreal metros why the fuck do you give a shit about the opinion of twitter user Ela Bostonqueenof
>> Iz @childofhollanov
can we please cancel him over this
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
why is this kinda heartwarming
> Ela @bostonqueenof
as long as you stay doing good in this world you will remain unblocked
>> Hayden @hpikemetros4
🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡
[clip of interview posted to YouTube]
*Ilya Rozanov opens his phone. The interviewer and prompt on the screen tell him to call his most recent contact and say he's been arrested and needs bail.*
*Rozanov presses a button and his phone starts to ring. After it's answered, he puts on an exaggerated sultry tone.*
Hollander: Hello?
Rozanov: Shane Hollander, oh no, I am in jail in handcuffs what will you do? Shane Hollander I am at your mercy there is only one bed and I am in handcuffs.
Hollander: You're actually in jail, Ilya?
*Rozanov pauses, seeming surprised by Hollander's unamused answer, then doubles down.*
Rozanov: Mm I will do anything to be bailed out Hollander. You can do whatever you want with me.
Rozanov: I am conveniently naked and in handcuffs.
Hollander: No you’re not.
*Rozanov falters.*
Hollander: So you're lying to me.
Rozanov: Well I—I'm not trying to—
Hollander: You're okay?
*Rozanov hesitates.*
Rozanov: Yes, Shane, I'm okay.
Hollander: Not in jail.
Rozanov: Not in jail.
Hollander: Good luck with the interview.
Rozanov: Thank you.
*Hollander hangs up.*
[clip ends]
Iz @childofhollanov
SHANE HOLLANDER THE DOM THAT YOU ARE
Iz @childofhollanov
the first names??? the FIRST NAMES??? pack it up guys we're done here
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
me when i actually literally genuinely created irl hollanov
>> Iz @childofhollanov
all hail our lord and savior rizza
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
so what do we do here now that hollanov is real
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
THEYRE WHAT
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
bitch youre going to hell for getting me excited like that that interview was NOT hollanov confirmation
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
im tired of this grandpa
Hayden: i am sorry for my recent behavior shane
Hayden: this rozanov shit isn't something new i know that. just because its a part of you i haven't seen before doesn't mean its not a part of you
Hayden: i’m the one who became best friends with a guy who really fucking likes rozanov. that’s more of a knock against me than anything
Hayden: no but seriously, actually, i am totally okay with it and happy for you two
Shane: It's okay I get it, I'm just glad you figured out how to be okay with everything. It can't be exactly easy since it was Rozanov. Can't imagine what finding that out was like.
Hayden: no you cannot.
Hayden: but it doesn’t matter. anyone you love is someone i like, end of story.
Shane: You're a really good friend Hayden.
Hayden: thanks buddy
Hayden: also did you know people ship us?
Shane: Huh?
Rozanov: you are in love with my boyfriend
Hayden: fuck off dude ew
Rozanov: oh you do not know. good. nevermind then.
Hayden: is everyone in love with shane to you?
Rozanov: most people
Rozanov: is good for me
Rozanov: I must stay the best for him
Hayden: good
Rozanov: yes
Rozanov: is good thing for you you are not trying you do not have a chance
Hayden: ok? good?
Rozanov: shane needs far more interesting sex than you can provide
Hayden: OK THATS ENOUGH I DONT NEED TO HEAR THIS
Hayden: AND THIS IS SOLELY BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT ANY OF SHANES SEX NOT BECAUSE I HAVE ANY AVERSION TO GAY SEX
Hayden: besides the aversion that comes from being straight
Hayden: i do not want it personally but im happy for those who do
Rozanov: what the fuck are you talking about pike
Hayden: im an ally
Rozanov: ok
Rozanov: i understand you want me with shane now because you have realized if i am not taken man i will give your wife her first orgasm and your marriage will end tragically you are a smart man
Hayden: is it biphobic to block you?
Rozanov: yes
Hayden: fuck
Chapter 11
Chapter Notes
there’s a lot of russian in this one i trust yall to know how to work google translate (again, apologies to people who actually speak russian for how bad my attempts at writing it may be)
Lily: do you think if we have sex on statue of liberty the world will find out ilya rozanov and shane hollander are madly in love
Jane: Probably not.
Lily: we wouldn’t get caught
Jane: Even if we did they’d find some reason to say it was platonic.
Lily: you would say is best friend behavior and everyone would say yes ok makes sense
Jane: Yeah probably.
Jane: You’ve landed then?
Lily: yes
Lily: but we cannot meet til a little later
Lily: sveta wants me for catching up and getting lunch
Jane: Ok.
Lily: aw he is so jealous
Jane: No I’m not.
Jane: Rose wanted to take me to her friend’s dance performance today too. So it works out.
Lily: oh ok you are going on dates with rose landry again
Jane: You’re going on a date with Svetlana!
Lily: let’s keep being angry and jealous
Lily: will make sex tonight very good
Jane: That’s stupid Ilya.
Lily: yes but is true 🥵🥵
Jane: Fine.
Rose: You still want to do this?
Svetlana: yes. texting hollander will not work :(
Rose: Yeah I guess I should’ve expected that
Rose: But don’t worry this definitely will
Sveta: where are you asshole?
Ilyusha: уже еду блин
Sveta: ты так по мне скучал
Ilyusha: конечно
Rose: Are you on your way?
Shane: Of course.
Shane: You said to be there at 1.
Rose: I know sorry I’m just excited
Svetlana: I have Ilya.
Svetlana: we are on the way.
Rose: Great! Shane just showed up we’ll be right behind you !!!!
Lily: shane
Lily: I am trapped in closet
Lily: sveta betrayed me
Jane: Is this metaphorical?
Lily: no
Lily: please help
Svetlana: he’s in.
Rose: Great, I’ve almost got Shane in too
Svetlana: …
Svetlana: …
Svetlana: almost as in when?
Rose: Oh my god Svetlana he WONT FUCKING COME
Svetlana: haha
Rose: Yeah ok I should’ve thought harder about that one
Rose: I mean I have been there 😔
Rose: But seriously
Rose: We were almost there and now he’s trying to run away for some reason
Rose: I told him SO LONG IN ADVANCE about this
Rose: And now he’s making up random lies trying to get out of it
Rose: His “friend needs help” oh I’m sure
Rose: We’re SO CLOSE TO THE DOOR HELP
Svetlana: hm ok I’ll come over to you and push him in.
Rose: That’s not exactly what I had in mind we can find another way right?
Svetlana: it worked.
Rose: It did work
Sveta: я доставила тебе твоего любимого 😘
Ilyusha: я с тобой больше никогда не разговариваю ужасная злая предательница
Rose’s Friend?: now you must talk or flirt or whatever.
Hollander: Oh my god there’s no fucking way.
Rose’s Friend?: nice to meet you I am Svetlana.
Ilya Rozanov: ok what the fuck is this
Svetlana: we think you two should spend some time with each other.
Rose Landry: Not just internet flirting, not just for events or brand deals
Shane Hollander: You’re fucking dead to me.
Rose Landry: I’m sorry Shane! This is for the greater good!!
Ilya Rozanov: so which are the rules? you let us out when we declare love or when we orgasm?
Shane Hollander: Jesus Christ Ilya that won’t be happening.
Ilya Rozanov: is very bad lie
Rose Landry: So he’s Ilya now 👀
Shane Hollander: Fuck off.
Rose Landry: Don’t worry Shane you don’t actually have to get together or anything we just want you to get closer
Svetlana: physically preferably but emotionally works too.
Ilya Rozanov: it is impossible not to be physically close
Ilya Rozanov: closet is tiny
Ilya Rozanov: we are fucking six foot and jacked
Svetlana: how horrible for you.
Rose Landry: We’ll let you out soon, promise.
Rose Landry: Just talk
Rose Landry: We’ll give you space.
Svetlana: speak for yourself I want to hear.
Svetlana: you may want to come back.
Rose: Why?
Svetlana: oh my god.
Rose: ???
Svetlana: Rose Landry. Ilya and Hollander are making out
Rose: WHAT
Svetlana: do we want them to have closet sex or no?
Rose: What??
Svetlana: if we don’t open the door now I think they will have closet sex.
Rose: Fuck okay
Rose: What the actual fuck
Svetlana: not that I didn’t trust in the plan,
Svetlana: but I didn’t expect this to work so well.
Svetlana: not so quickly.
Rose: Me either 😭😭😭
Rose: Who is this Shane ???? 😭😭😭
Svetlana: i’ll wait for you to come back and then we will let them out.
Rose Landry: Shane you asshole why the fuck would you not tell me about you two??????
Rose Landry: Like preferably an entire fucking year ago but also at any point in the last few weeks??
Svetlana: Илюша, ты трусливый ребенок, ты что, думаешь, быть посмешищем всего интернета намного менее позорно, чем просто серьезно признаться, что ты безумно влюблен в прекрасного человека, который любит тебя в ответ?
Ilya Rozanov: да
Ilya Rozanov: ты меня вообще знаешь?
Shane Hollander: I don’t know Rose I was just used to hiding it I guess so I never really thought about telling you whenever we talked.
Shane Hollander: And then it was kind of funny so I kept not telling you.
Ilya Rozanov: true is funny
Ilya Rozanov: но я не стесняюсь его, Света. я стесняюсь себя за то, что позволил себе быть любимым, но это не имеет значения. потому что я хочу любить Шейна Холландера громко, чтобы весь мир видел
Ilya Rozanov: это он думает, что смешно никому не рассказывать
Svetlana: это не объясняет, почему ты не сказал мне
Ilya Rozanov: ты страшная
Svetlana: трус 😒
Rose Landry: Oh my god Rozanov 🥺🥺🥺
Shane Hollander: You speak Russian?
Rose Landry: No but I know how to use google translate
Shane Hollander: You can’t do that it’s cheating.
Rose Landry: You’re seriously not too curious to just translate it?
Shane Hollander: That kind of feels like a betrayal of trust.
Ilya Rozanov: my boyfriend is not a cheater 😤
Ilya Rozanov: it’s ok I will teach hollander russian and one day he can go back and know what we say
Rose: “Boyfriend” holy shit !!!
Rose: God you guys are so cute
Rose: We all need to go on a double date sometime
Svetlana: double? 🤨
Hannah @hannahnov
why twitter user Rizza @/irlhollanovcreator is problematic, a 🧵
> Hannah @hannahnov
she speculates about real people’s sexualities and whether real people are top or bottom (people who are openly straight no less) *screenshots attached*
>> Hannah @hannahnov
+ she lied about “not being a hollanov” for a long period of time in order to get around people’s dnis *screenshots attached*
>>> Hannah @hannahnov
+ gross parasocial behavior. she baited rozanov into replying to her and now claims she “got hollanov together” and pretends she’s somehow twitter friends with rozanov now *screenshots attached*
>>>> Hannah @hannahnov
+ she violates random twitter users privacy as well, trying to figure out who they’re dating even though they obviously are trying to keep it private (i have this user blocked but even they don’t deserve this shit) *screenshots attached*
>>>>> Hannah @hannahnov
not to mention her friends on here (@/gaylove2481, @/childofhollanov, @/fifthchildofshayden, @/nmbr6hollanov) have been open hollanov shippers since long before rozanov and hollander were okay with it AND Shayden secret marriage truthers (not sure how those even work together but ew)
>>>>>> Ela @bostonqueenof
wait what.
Ela @bostonqueenof
@irlhollanovcreator is that true?? youre friends with those people?
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
yes? i thought you knew 😭😭
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
they really arent bad Ela i think youd like them
>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
you could unblock them and give them a second chance like you did for pike
[@bostonqueenof has blocked @irlhollanovcreator]
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
help i miss feeling fear for my life every time i decide to tweet 😢
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
maybe i need to start gambling.
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
or maybe you need a hobby
> Iz @childofhollanov
Rizza i love you but theres no way youre feeling genuine sadness over being blocked by the girl who hates literally all of our guts
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
you dont know her like i know her
>>> Iz @childofhollanov
girl you literally do not know her 😭
> Theodoree @nmbr6hollanov
5/5 blocked youre one of us now !!
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
yay.
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
☹️☹️☹️
[image of Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, Rose Landry, and Svetlana Vetrova taking a selfie together in a car.]
_ilyaroz
trapped with the two best people in the entire world and also mediocre actress
^roselandry
how many times do I have to tell you I'm a hollanov!!
^^_ilyaroz
fine. a slightly ok actress. little better than average.
^^^roselandry
🥹🥹🥹
^lindsaysarosebabe
WAIT ilya rozanov x rose landry????? 😍😍😍
^^_ilyaroz
instagram ban this person
[image of Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Rose Landry, and Svetlana Vetrova at a table together at a restaurant. Hollander sits next to Rose Landry and across from Rozanov.]
shanehollander
Double date. ❤️❤️ ❤️❤️
^rosebabygina
HOLLAROSE ARE BACK TOGETHER NOBODY FREAK OUT STAY CALM
^^realestrosebabe
I'm actually crying tears of joy rn
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
@irlhollanovcreator hollanov posted
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
who even cares anymore
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
help i cant find it
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
insta lmao
Theodoree @nmbr6hollanov
double date? so what im hearing is shane, ilya, hayden, and jackie are in a polycule
> Iz @childofhollanov
youre not very good at pretending to be a hollanov
>> Theodoree @nmbr6hollanov
actually fuck you 😭 im trying 😢
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
where do i apply to be jackie in this situation please
>> Theodoree @nmbr6hollanov
if i knew i wouldnt be telling you id be signing up 😔
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Yoga is seriously really awesome I think everyone should try it at least once especially if you're an athlete.
Rozanov @realrozanov81
waking up is such beautiful thing. birds chirping sun shining beautiful perfect morning
> Iz @childofhollanov
ok? good for you?
fern @fifthchildofshayden
hey guys did you see hayden posted?
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
anyone?
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
i didnt know it was possible to hate ilya rozanov as much as i do
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
is it just me or are hollander & rozanov basically exclusively posting at the exact same time? very coupley vibes no???
> anna @shaydenshaydenshay
kill yourself
> Nate @montrealontop
Kill yourself.
> Allia @girlwithbones
kys ❤️🥰
↻ Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
agreed + holy shit girl the replies 😭 im so sorry 😢💔
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
is it just me or are hollander & rozanov basically exclusively posting at the exact same time? very coupley vibes no???
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
that fucking thread im gonna murder someone
>> Iz @childofhollanov
so hot when u get like this
Jane: How are you feeling about everything? You want to stop the joke and announce it or keep going?
Lily: is no longer funny to you?
Jane: Ilya I asked how you were feeling don't try to turn this around.
Lily: is fine
Lily: is funny
Lily: we can keep going
Lily: but if you want to stop we should stop
Jane: And if you want to stop we should stop.
Lily: you are not saying if you want to stop or no
Jane: Neither are you.
Jane: And I asked first.
Lily: I did already say is fine
Jane: I didn't ask if it's fine if we keep going I asked if you want to.
Lily: I want to do what you want
Jane: Jesus fucking Christ Ilya.
Lily: sorry
Lily: ok
Lily: maybe is getting a liiiiiitttle boring
Lily: but is still fun
Jane: Why don't we announce it then.
Lily: but you said you did not want to
Lily: you want people to slowly catch on
Jane: Любовь they are never going to catch on.
Jane: At this point we're just putting off the inevitable.
Lily: not fair to speak your perfect russian to get me to agree
Lily: ok you can announce
Jane: Why don't you announce it?
Lily: ME?!?!?
Lily: you want ME to announce our love!!!!
Lily: is this proposal??
Jane: No Ilya as much as I love you, it's too early for that.
Jane: Also fuck you I'd propose way fucking better than this.
Lily: you would 😍☺️🥹😚😘🥰😉🤩😫😖🥵🤯🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆💦💦
Jane: Were all of those emojis necessary?
Lily: yes is everything i'm feeling
Lily: very necessary
Jane: Wait actually yeah that's kind of nice.
Lily: yes I am nice unlike you unwilling to propose 😀🥲🤪😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😤☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️😞😞😞😞
Jane: Not yet.
Jane: Eventually, absolutely.
Lily: shane is fine just joke
Jane: Ok but I'm not joking.
Lily: Shane Hollander wants to marry me okay
Svetlana (Evil): Shane Hollander why is Ilya calling me in tears?
Svetlana (Evil): oh it's happy tears nevermind.
Svetlana (Evil): good work.
Hollander: Tell him to call me after.
Svetlana (Evil): yes ma'am 🫡
Hollander: Ma'am?
Svetlana (Evil): yes, Hollander?
Svetlana (Evil): Shane Hollander if you ghost me again I will block you.
Hollander: 😑
Svetlana (Evil): call my Ilyushka.
Shane: Thanks Rose that was pretty good advice.
Rose (Evil): The wonders of Google translate 🤩
Shane: Cheater. 🫤
Rose (Evil): Shut the fuck up babe I literally just saved your marriage
Shane: What is it with everyone and marriage today? We're not married.
Rose (Evil): And why is that?? You need to wait another ten years?
Shane: We haven't been dating for ten years Rose we basically just started.
Rose (Evil): Ok? Make up for lost time then??
Shane: Sorry I want a boyfriend for a little longer I'll have a husband for the rest of my life.
Rose (Evil): Shane I love you so fucking much 😭❤️
Shane: I love you too. ❤️
↻ fern @fifthchildofshayden
@irlhollanovcreator babe are u ok you barely touched your who is fern dating crumbs
Iz @childofhollanov
so hot when u get like this
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
yeaahhhh so twitter is not exactly a fun place for me atm :(
>> Fin @shaydndefendr
good. deactivate.
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
WAIR but ARE you two dating?????
Chapter End Notes
the way I sat on this fucking chapter for so long trying to figure out how to write the second half only to realize that it should be split into two chapters anyway 🤦♂️
Iz @childofhollanov
yes it's true, i am the mysterious hollanov dating fern @fifthchildofshayden 😌
> Iz @childofhollanov
@irlhollanovcreator
> Theodoree @nmbr6hollanov
wild you had to announce this cuz i can't remember a time you guys started hiding it lmao
>> Iz @childofhollanov
we didnt! but then rizza was new and just hadnt realized yet and we thought it was funny to try to make her figure it out
>>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
but then she didnt. so.
>>>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
tbf ive been here for WAY longer and i had no fucking clue 😭😭
>>>>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
i literally call her babe???
>>>>>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
you both call literally everyone babe
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
thank you guys for taking pity on me i was not going to figure this out
>> Iz @childofhollanov
😘
>>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
👩❤️👩💏
>> anna @shaydenshaydenshayy
leave twitter babe or I will make you 😁
Rozanov @realrozanov81
vegas is so nice for letting me play there when we all know I will destroy their team. very kind and hospitable to allow such humiliation to occur in your own city.
> Vaughny @realcartervaughn
I know a trip to Vegas is something fucking else with Rozy
>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
not so much fun now my heart belongs to only one man 😍😍😍😍😍😍 @hollanderofficial @hollanderofficial @hollandrofficial
>>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
I will probably be boring tonight jerking off in hotel room on call with him 😍😍
>>>> Oz @montreallygay
get a fucking hobby rozanov
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
ok assholes! since you're here and not going away, i'll give you something to actually get mad at. so here's why hollanov are absolutely, 1000%, in real life, dating. 1/6
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
i doubt i need to prove that rozanov has been flirting with hollander, since you do have eyes that work on occasion. but he is NOT flirting as a fucking joke, and here's why. he CAME OUT over this even though he's RUSSIAN. 2/6
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
he's overtly constantly PURSUING hollander PUBLICLY. yes roz loves bits but he doesnt commit to them like this, he lets it go when they stop being funny. ppl were over the joke a month ago and instead of slowing down, he's getting worse with it. tell me that man isnt in love. 3/6
>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
and i'll be honest it is WILD to me that you guys cant see that hollander absolutely returns roz's feelings. if he was actually uncomfortable HE WOULDNT INTERACT WITH IT. that's what hollander does. 4/6
>>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
hollander literally barely uses the internet as it is but somehow he's responding to basically half of roz's posts, always ones that are overtly flirting with him. and he's not fucking stupid, he's PLAYING DUMB. which is literally a FLIRTING TACTIC 5/6
>>>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
rozanov is obviously flirting with hollander. hollander is flirting back. theyre together all the time now. theyre friends now. hollander SAID they were on a double DATE. if you cant put the pieces together youre fucking stupid. 6/6
> Hannahhhh @hannahtheshayden
the way you literally said russians cant be gay like its nothing 😃
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
the way you did all that mental gymnastics to get that out of what i said 😃
> Giulia @shaydengirlypop
why have you kinda convinced me 😅
>> Hannah @hannahnov
your actually fucking stupid if you agree with them on this
> arther @shaywhatumean
ah so this is why they call hollanovs delusional they really truly are.
> bella @oceanispiink
no fucking clue who these men are but yeah I agree they probably are kissing
> Lindsay @thefirsteverrosebabe
weird af you as a straight girl are fantasizing about a straight man dating someone he's made it super clear he's not into. he's not ur fetish babe.
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
GIRL WHO SAID IM STRAIGHT WTF. yall just make shit up ig
>>> Hannahhhh @hannahtheshayden
girly this is literally what you are doing. just making shit up 😭😭😭
fern @fifthchildofshayden
we got a cute new shayden head bump gif last night and i have literally no one to talk to about this now
> Iz @childofhollanov
sorry for stealing theodoree
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
its actually not ok T-T
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
new hollanov fanfic with updated lore: *link*
> Iz @childofhollanov
i will be reading this the SECOND i get off work
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
ooh ok do i need an ao3 acc to read?
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
no its open to guests dw babe
>> anna @shaydenshaydenshayd
stay tf off ao3 we dont want weirdo creeps like u on there ❤️❤️❤️
Hannah @hannahnov
so are we just not going to talk about rizza @/irlhollanovcreator lying about her sexuality to escape accountability?
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
girl i have BEEN SAYING im bi
>> anna @shaydenshaydenshayde
me when i make shit up
>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
STOP MAKING ALTS JUST LET ME FUCKING BLOCK YOU
>> arther @shaywhatumean
yeah so actual bi people are bi all the time not just when its convenient for them. i know ur a rozanov fan so it might be hard for u to understand this
Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
fine i didnt want to do this, i didnt want to abuse this power, but you leave me no choice. @realrozanov81 tell these losers im right
> Nate @montrealontop
oh my fucking god you actually think your friends with him 😭😭
> anna @shaydenshaydenshayden
worst secondhand embarrassment ive ever had this is actually fucking sad
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
@realrozanov81 any second now 😃
any…any second.
>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
well fuck
>>> Theodoree @nmbr6shayden
why did i at this point actually believe you had this power 😔
>>>> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
it worked once !! 😞
> Hannahhhh @hannahtheshayden
you actually need to be banned from the internet
> arther @shaywhatyoumean
@ ing rozanov like it will actually do something holy shit 😂
Rozanov @realrozanov81
best friendship is the best we love straight allies like hollander
> Rozanov @realrozanov81
ah yes and here you are my good friend @irlhollanovcreator
[image attached: a photo of Hollander and Rozanov kissing on the lips, both flipping off the camera.]
Rozanov @realrozanov81
do not listen to the haters, me and shane are deeply in love.
> Scott Hunter @scotthunter
It's true, I've been unfortunate enough to share a hotel room wall with them
> Vaughny @realcartervaughn
It's true and actually extremely sweet to see ngl
> Hayden @hpikemetros4
It's true I had to go on a whole character arc about it
> Rose @roselandry
It's true I still have yet to have a boyfriend who's actually straight
> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
It's true, he's really fucking hot.
↻ Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
HOLY SHIT ROZANOV YOU DIDNT EVEN WARN ME TO SIT DOWN FIRST WHAT THE FUCK
Rozanov @realrozanov81
ah yes and here you are my good friend @irlhollanovcreator
If You Haven't Looked At Shane Hollander's Twitter Bio In The Last 24 Hours, You Should Now. Spoilers: He Declares Himself Ilya Rozanov's Boyfriend.
Chapter End Notes
Bonus:
Lily: there is random girl on internet
Lily: people are bullying her because she thinks we are dating
Jane: Ok that's too bad.
Jane: It'll be fun for her when you announce she's right lol.
Lily: yes
Lily: her pinned tweet informs me that we are close personal friends this is good to know
Lily: Shane.
Lily: Shane.
Jane: Yes?
Lily: I know how I will announce
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
@irlhollanovcreator WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK
> Rizza @irlhollanovcreator
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>> Iz @childofhollanov
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!
Rosebabe Hollanov @bothrtruuuu
IT HAPPENED
meg @hollandersprincess
IVE CRIED SO MANY TEARS OF JOY
Lexx @hollinovinluv
HOLLANOVS WHAT DO WE EVEN DO WITH oURSELVES NOW
hollanova @hollllonova
they hated jesus because he spoke the TRUTH
> Rosebabe Hollanov @bothrtruuuu
our lord and savior Rizza
Kenzie @hollanovsbastardson
war is over
> meg @hollandersprincess
the only casualties being 900 million shaydens
El :) @hollanovwins
my sister was a shayden i cant wait to see her SOB when i tell her
> jamie @boygirlwhocries
video it pls
Hannah @hannahnov
Let it be known i was a irlhollanovcreator fan DAY ONE
Westley @hockwyisgay
TATTOOING "ah yes and here you are my good friend" IMMEDIATELY
Ela @bostonqueenof
do you guys think its ok to dnf a book? i usually dont but the one im reading sucks so i might idk..
Iz @childofhollanov
it's been hours and i havent stopped staring at that picture
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
i keep going back and forth between the picture and shane hollander's bio
>> Iz @childofhollanov
REAL
> Rizza @hockluvnlife
is it weird to get emotional looking at it
>> Iz @childofhollanov
no, not at all + THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE HOLY SHIT + why arent you following me anymore 😭😭😭
>>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
i am following now, sorry new account. i was getting thousands of followers all the sudden and got scared. im sick of being twitter famous
>>>> Iz @childofhollanov
real af
↻ Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
wait fuck i know this reply was a million years ago and i might be overthinking this BUT he specifically put two dicks but three sets of eyes DOES THIS MEAN THERE WAS A CUCK
Rozanov @realrozanov81
👀👀👀🍆🍆?????
> Iz @childofhollanov
as much as i could never get behind shayden, hayden was definitely the cuck.
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
fuck you forever and ever #myshayden are IN LOVE and MARRIED >:((
>>> Iz @childofhollanov
😘❤️❤️
>>> Theodoree @nmbr6hollanov
ok but even if they were in love and married they would be so into ilya cucking hayden
>>>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
well yes but dont tell this to the hollanovs they've had enough wins today T-T
> Rizza @hockluvnlife
personally i dont think the three eyes mean anything other than ilya emphasizing the fact that he is interested. like even if he had put only two pairs of eyes, in context neither would be shanes, theyd still both be his.
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
fair 😔
>>> Theodoree @nmbr6hollanov
girl wants to be the cuck
>>>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
so badly 😭😭😭😭😭😭
>>>>> Theodoree @nmbr6hollanov
SAME 😭
Rozanov @realrozanov81
@hollanderofficial are you so happy now lyubov you can tell everyone your love for me
> Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Yes. ❤️
>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
😍😍😍😍😍😍
↻ Rizza @hockluvnlife
Holy shit guys this is real. its actually fucking real. its REAL ITS REAL ITS REAL ITS RE
Shane Hollander @hollanderofficial
Yes. ❤️
> Iz @childofhollanov
this is the first time in my entire career i have seen a shanemoji that actually seemed genuine
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
rozanov is such a good influence on him!
>>> Oz @montreallygay
This is the first time this sentence has ever been constructed in any language.
Theodoree @nmbr6hollanov
…is this a safe space?………..
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
your a shayden
> Iz @childofhollanov
youre secretly still a shayden
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
you want to return to the light of shayden
> Rizza @hockluvnlife
we still love you even though youre more of a shayden person :))
↻ Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
holy fuck how did yall ALL know 😭😭😭😭 + yeahhh especially now that hollanovs actually REAL i realized i litraly just prefer shayden which makes absolutley no sense but idkkkkk
Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
…is this a safe space?………..
> Iz @childofhollanov
idk it makes sense to me. you like the ship better. horrible taste but
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
WELCOME HOME YOU WERE SO MISSED T-T
>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
shayden for fuckiing life
>>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
crying actual tears of joy
Ela @bostonqueenof
if boston loses this next game im gonna kms
> Ela @bostonqueenof
+ does anyone know how quickly google updates game stats? i dont wanna be on here if the game will be spoiled for me & i cant watch it cuz i dont wanna monetarily support the nhl
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
not the nhl unable to decide whether to completely ignore this or completely milk it PICK A FUCKING SIDE BITCH
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
no cuz how the hell did they do both???
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
"dont worry we do still hate gay people, but we do love money"
>>> Iz @childofhollanov
free us
>>>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
free HOLLANOV holy shit 😭
fern @fifthchildofshayden
updating my first #shayden fic :]
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
It feels so good to be home 😭❤️
> Hannah @hannahnov
how r u supporting shayden when hollanov is literally confirmed 😒
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
babe i started shipping shayden based off one promo video 3 years ago. hayden has had a wife and kids this entire fucking time. i promise you this ship has literally fucking nothing to do with me thinking theyll actually get together lmfao
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
Now I KNOW those stalkery accounts are evil and bad and we hate them. but also HOLY SHIT HOLLANOV GOING HOME TOGETHER HOLLANOV GOING HOME TOGETHER HOLLANOV LITERAALLY LIVE TOGETHER IM GOING TO FUCKING CRY AND EXPLODE AND DIE
Iz @childofhollanov
good morning hollanov is real <3
Iz @childofhollanov
good afternoon hollanov is real <3
Iz @childofhollanov
good night hollanove is real <3
Iz @childofhollanov
good morning hollanov is real <3
↻ Ela @bostonqueenof
??? have i missed something ???
Kasia @katarzyna53
my sister who's OBSESSED with hockey has said literally nothing about the ilya rozanov shane hollander thing should I be concerned? even *I* know about it. (is she homophobic?? 😭😭)
> Kasia @katarzyna53
YOU DONT KNOW????
Chapter End Notes
thank god for version history bc i thought i lost literally half of this and the update probably wouldve taken another fucking month out of the grief i would have felt
Rose (Evil): Holy shit how is LIFE bitch
Shane: It's fine.
Rose (Evil): Is this the horrifically concerning shane fine or the over the moon exploding with joy shane fine????
Shane: Both I think.
Rose (Evil): Fuckkkk
Rose (Evil): Makes sense tho
"Hollanov" Romance Shocks The World: The Secret Hollander and Rozanov Have Been Keeping From Everyone
In a turn of events no one could have predicted, hockey's two bigggest stars Shane Hollander of the Montreal Metros and Ilya Rozanov of the Boston Bruins have come out as gay and in love with each other.
Yes, that sentence sounds like the sort of thing your thirteen-year-old niece would tell you while you laugh and roll your eyes, but today it's actually true.
[image attached]
So how on earth did we get here? The answer is short: we're not sure. Hollander and Rozanov have been tight-lipped after the announcement, refusing to answer near hundreds of very important questions such as how something like this could have even started.
While the beginning of their relationship remains a mystery, it's clear they've been in a relationship for some time. Perhaps a year or longer.
Why didn't they come out? Likely fear. As accepting as America is, there still exists homophobic individuals whose mean words and glares can be hard to handle, especially for men so new to their sexuality.
Too scared to share their romance with the world, they made gay jokes online—no different than the sort you'd hear in a locker room—in order to hide their relationship in plain sight. But when the public reacted with only love and positivity, these jokes inadvertantly gave the two the courage they needed.
With little fanfare, Rozanov announced his relationship with Hollander in a tweet, and Hollander confirmed it with a small change to his Instagram bio.
While of course everyone is supportive and accepting of their relationship, serious hockey fans are worried about this means about the future of their rivalry, and even the future of the league itself. Will Hollander and Rozanov be able to continue to play against each other? Have their feelings gotten in the way of games in the past? Will they in the future? Learn more in our article: The End of Hockey As We Know It? The Issue With "Hollanov"
Ela @bostonqueenof
booking a therapy session right the fuck now hollanov is real and came out and i fucking missed it wtf
> Rizza @hockluvnlife
you whaAT
Ela: did u make a new acc to get around my block
Rizza: no it's cuz my old acc blew up. i'll dni if u want
Ela: no thats ok. you gave rozanov the courage to come out so
Ela: i won't block you unless u really deserve it
Rizza: yay :)
Rizza: i missed u
Ela: <3
Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
the CLIFFHANGER????? fern you are evil pls update soon pls ill be good
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
:}
>> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
EVIL
> Iz @childofhollanov
believe it or not i also await their update
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
wtf?
>>> Iz @childofhollanov
look im against shayden morally politically ethically and spiritually. but the fic is good.
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
holy shit u were right @childofhollanov wtf
> Iz @childofhollanov
SEE?
> Iz @childofhollanov
@fifthchildofshayden
fern @fifthchildofshayden
i have this superpower where i convert hollanovs into shaydens even after hollanov is literally real
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
im not a SHAYDEN i have an extension that changes hayden's name to rozanov.
>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
banning u from my fic
Rozanov @realrozanov81
new car 🔥🔥🔥
> Nate @montrealontop
cool also thanks for ruining hockey forever
>> Rozanov @realrozanov81
how many stanley cups does your boyfriend have 🤔
Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
is this a safe space to say i gen had been assuming @childofhollanov and @fifthchildofshayden were siblings
> Iz @childofhollanov
what the actual fuck 😭
>> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
do ur usernames not imply your half siblings?
>>> fern @fifthchildofshayden
youve ruined my entire life
Rizza @hockluvnlife
be honest did you love me more when i wore the irlhollanovcreator username with pride
> fern @fifthchildofshayden
its ok we all make mistakes the important thing is youre growing <3
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
I do not appreciate your humor.
> Rozy's Wife @gaylove2481
no actually your fighting random people on the internet era was so secondhand stressful for me im happy you made a new acc 😭
> Theodoree @nmbr3shayden
live your life babygirl
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
and you know what i will
> Iz @childofhollanov
i miss the username but i understand. that acc is basically unusable now
Ela @bostonqueenof
queer people are objectively better at hockey. rozanov, hunter, hollander.
Rozanov @realrozanov81
how many stanley cups does your boyfriend have 🤔
> Hayden @hpikemetros4
Wait…wait a second…
> Rizza @hockluvnlife
thats why theyre mad.
>> Ela @bostonqueenof
ah i see
Lily: it was worth it yes?
Lily: or do you regret it
Jane: 90% of everyone has been a complete fucking asshole about it and I still feel fucking amazing so yeah I think it was worth it.
Lily: Shane I can't tell if it's a compliment 😭
Jane: Call me and find out.
Lily: 😍😍😍😍😍😍🍆!!!!!
Rizza @hockluvnlife
is now a bad time to announce ive never actually been to a hockey game irl?
> Ela @bostonqueenof
maybe if youre in boston sometime we could go to a game?
>> Rizza @hockluvnlife
@childofhollanov @fifthchildofshayden @nmbr3shayden @gaylove2481 we're invited!!!!!!!!!!
>>> Ela @bostonqueenof
oh. all of you.. ok.
Chapter End Notes
I'll have you know I have a whole thing in my head for what happens with Ela and Rizza after this.
I genuinely put zero thought into any of the ocs in the first chapter I was just coming up with names and usernames and now they're all so distinct and special and important to me lol. Also thank you guys so much for caring about them 😭 I know a lot of times ocs in fics can be painfully boring to read about so I'm glad y'all had the patience for mine.
On that note, thank you for all of your support and comments and kudos and everything! Thank you guys for coming back for the updates and thank you for sharing my humor and inflating my ego. AND NOTICING things!! Every time I write these I'm like "huh I wonder if they'll notice this part" and there's always someone who does, it's absolutely delightful. If you look at my other works you'll notice I'm used to responding to every single comment and this was the first time there were genuinely too many for me to even try. And it was delightful!! I promise even though I didn't respond, I read, enjoyed, and savored any comment you left me. I get high off them.
I have a new ongoing fic, Hayden the Hollanov Fairy Godmother. It's not a chatfic or socmed, but I think it's fun, so check it out and see if it's your cup of tea! And here is my tumblr if you wanna hop over and send me an ask :)
Afterword
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