Preface

unknowingly knowing
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/78582891.

Rating:
Mature
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories:
F/M, M/M
Fandoms:
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
Relationships:
Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Scott Hunter, Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike & Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros Team Ensemble, Cliff Marlow & Ilya Rozanov, Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble & Ilya Rozanov, Hayden Pike/Jackie Pike, Connors/Mitty
Additional Tags:
Romantic Comedy, Fluff, Texting, Drunk Texting, Fluff and Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Autistic Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander Walks Ilya Rozanov Like A Dog, Soft Ilya Rozanov, WAG Ilya Rozanov, WAG Shane Hollander, who knows where I was going with this, none of that homophobic shit here thanks, Long-Suffering Hayden Pike, Oblivious Hayden Pike, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, baby im going to need a shot, Fanwork Creator Knows Nothing About Hockey, creator is australian and clueless about distance, Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros WAGs Group Chat (Game Changers), Texting Fic
Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of The Many Things of Hollanov
Stats:
Published: 2026-01-30 Updated: 2026-08-30 Words: 61,229 Chapters: 57/?

unknowingly knowing

by birdy1171

Summary

- Marlow Has Added Jane to the Conversation -

Marlow: Please don't tell Roz

Jane: O.O

 

- Hayden Has Added Lily to the Conversation -

Lily: What the fuck is this?

Hayden: Oh-

 

I do not give permission for this work to be used or published elsewhere, even changed to work with a different shipping or fandom.
I do not give permission for this work to be changed through the use of AI/ChatGPT.
Any show of this will be reported.

Notes

Scratching an itch about the texting fic formats, but also coming out of fanfic retirement (it's been five years and one degree later).

I have fuck all hockey knowledge, live in Aus and cannot be assed trying to learn a sport.

Probably a little OOC for Shane not immediately blocking the numbers and freaking out, but let me have this.

I tried to find book-accurate team member names, but gave them random nicknames to save myself some grief - don't come at me.

Chapter 1: Jane Meet Boston, Boston Meet Jane

Chapter Summary

I did not think I would have to make this known but here we are:

A comment was posted today about putting this fic through ChatGPT to adjust it to a preferred ship to then post it and credit me as inspiration.

I feel the need to clarify here: I do not give permission for this fic to be reposted, to be used in such a manner as stated above, to be fed into AI based programs or to be blatantly misused.

I post here because I want to share enjoyment, if I find this person follows through with what they commented a report will be made and I will consider taking the fic down.

 

I do not support the use of AI in this context, I do not give my permission for my work to be used in this context. The comment is still up and on this chpater unfortunately as I await their response to being informed of my non-consent.

If you are this person or have considered similar, please note I am versed enough in the terms and conditions of this site and legal terminology to know where I stand as an author of this work.

- Bears Minus Cap -

Marlow: If he flashes those fucking scratches one more time today I'll puke.

Connors: thank fuck its not just me

St-Simon: nah dude, all of us are about to pull hair out, Roz got no shame

Marlow: 🤮

Marlow: Has anyone actually met the chick or is this just the random hookups still?

Carmichael: I caught him doing the grin he denies Marly, its Jane for surreee.

Connors: Mr. Russians do not blush sure likes this girl

St-Simon: surely someone has seen her? even once?

Marlow: Never confirmed dating, never brought her to any event, never even seen on a date with her

Carmichael: a very intense fuck buddy thing then

Connors: call me crazy

Connors: but

Marlow: You're crazy

Connors: shut the fuck up Marley, I didnt even say anything

Carmichael: 🤨

St-Simon: 🤨

Marlow: 🤨

Connors: wow, feeling the love

Connors: anyway, what if someone happened to SEE her number and we just HAPPENED to send her a text

Marlow: Cap will either kill us with drills or will ACTUALLY kill us

St-Simon: my knees arent made for that brutality

Carmichael: found it

Connors: HOW

Marlow: that was too fucking quick Mick

St-Simon: RIP our asses

Carmichael: I did the heavy lifting, Marley you add her

Marlow: fuck off, why me?

Connors: cause i'm already in line of fire for coming up with it, Mick did the dirty work of getting the number

Marlow: and old man St-Simon over there?

Connors: exactly that, old

St-Simons: OI

Marlow: fine fine, Mick send me the number

Marlow: you better hope she doesn't snitch to Roz or we're allll toast

- Marlow Has Added Jane to the Conversation -

Marlow: please dont tell Roz

Jane: O.O

Jane: What is this?

Connors: sorry to be weird, we're Roz's teammates!

Jane: and who is we? exactly?

Jane: Disregard that, doesn't matter

- Jane Has Left the Conversation -

Connors: BOO noo

Carmichael: we're fucked fucked aren't we?

St-Simons: again, RIP our asses and our knees.

Marley: fuck

-.-.-.-

- Connors Has Changed Group Name to Danger Zone -

Marlow: are you high connors?

Connors: no, i'm prepping for the apocalypse cause its been two days and not a peep from Roz

Carmichael: maybe Jane didnt say anything to him

St-Simon: nice girl, lets leave her alone then

Connors: but... one more try wouldn't hurt

Carmichael: already going down for the first time

Connors: i will go down with this shipp

Marlow: seriously, Connors did you sniff something? remember they drug test us yeah?

Marlow: and someone else can add her back if, I already tried

Carmichael: fine

- Carmichael Has Added Jane to the Conversation -

Jane: Oh god not again

Connors: wait!

Connors: please

St-Simon: if you'd like to leave dont feel like you've gotta stay

Marlow: 100% tell us to fuck off if need be but we just wanted to talk

Jane: about what exactly?

Connors: Cap

Jane: did something happen to Rozanov?

Carmichael: you call him Rozanov?

Jane: we've known each other for a while, we were never first name friendly

Connors: ...is that a sex thing or?

Marlow: CONNORS

Jane: big questions from someone who I could snitch on

St-Simon: oohh def Roz's girl

Jane: not his girl

Carmichael: oop

Marlow: Jane we should probably apologise and leave you in peace

Jane: hmm

Jane: I'll stay on one condition

Connors: yes

Carmichael: yes

Marlow: yes

St-Simon: yes

Jane: Ignoring how eager that was

Jane: I wont tell Rozanov if you don't

Carmichael: huh? like we'd openly admit to stealing the number

Jane: thanks for confirming how you got my number

Carmichael: fuck

Jane: He'd actually take you out for this, and while the Voyagers tend to hand you your asses, better it be for skill, not cause the captain is in jail

Connors: OH SHES A VOYAGER'S GIRL

St-Simon: explains a bit

Carmichael: ITS TREASON

Marlow: Roz is actually going to off us

Jane: 😉

Chapter 2: Boston

Marlow: Jane

Connors: Jane

St-Simon: Jane

Carmichael: Jane

Jane: what?

Connors: please, please we beg, when are you seeing Cap next?

Jane: why?

Marlow: cause if we have to run one more fucking drill old man St-Simon will collapse 

Jane: St-Simon isn't that old is he?

St-Simon: my knees argue otherwise 

Jane: there's a joke in there

Carmichael: HAH

Carmichael: no but really we're dying here please send help

Jane: isn't this your whole job?

Connors: Jane please 😭

Jane: hmm, I'll see what stick is up his ass

Marlow: thank you

 

.-.-.-.

 

Connors: Jane what on gods beautiful green earth did you say??

Marlow: He's never been that quick to wrap a practise 

St-Simon: home sweet hommeee

Carmichael: Jane?

Jane: sorry was busy fixing your problem

Connors: aye?

Jane: Rozanov on the phone when he left?

Carmichael: how'd you know?

Jane: sent him a picture, thank me later

Connors: AYEEE JANE

Carmichael: holy fuck

Marlow: someone give this woman a medal

St-Simon: crying happy tears rn

 

 

 

.-.-.-.

 

Connors: Montreal is going down downnn 

Jane: had to be in this chat aye?

Carmichael: still cannot believe Roz is seeing a voyagers girl

Marlow: kinda fits him though, he likes to antagonise literally everyone 

Jane: I'd try to argue in his defence but no you're correct

Jane: He likes to be an ass

St-Simon: so how does this work? Do you guys only see each other when hes in Montreal?

Jane: I travel for work, so sometimes other cities you play in matches where I am.

Connors: so when he plays more like a beast then normal....

Jane: you can thank me

Carmichael: AYEE

Carmichael: and if voyagers happen to win? What he sulks?

Jane: ...

Connors: 👀

Marlow: 👀

St-Simon: 👀

Carmichael: 👀

Jane: then I get some extra fun from it

Marlow: fucking hellll

Connors: I KNEW THE LAST NAME WAS A SEX THING

Marlow: you're gross Connors

Jane: hm, kinda close

St-Simon: JANE

Jane: see ya

 

-.-.-.-

 

Carmichael: have a good night Jane 😭

Connors: Captains about to get his shit rocked

Marlow: gross, gROSS

St-Simon: Jane... any mercy here?

Jane: no, have fun looking at his back later

Marlow: 🥲

Chapter 3: Boston II

Jane: do me a favour

Marlow: of course, this seems serious to ask us

St-Simon: everything okay?

Jane: discretely slap Rozanov upside the head for that hit

Jane: dumbass is going to get himself stuck to that bench

Connors: have we ever said we love you?

Jane: settle children

Carmichael: not around for this game Jane?

Jane: sadly no, work stuff, so I'll settle for one you idiots to do it for me

Marlow: what did we do

Jane: you've lost to which team tonight?

Connors: annndd shes got a point

Connors: seriously, def Roz's girl

Jane: again, not his girl

St-Simon: without prying, but 100% prying, why is that?

Marlow: 👀

Carmichael: 👀

Connors: 👀

Jane: I would think I was added to a WAGs chat with how nosey you are

Jane: we've never talked about it so

Jane: doesn't change

Marlow: want me to slap him twice for funsies?

Jane: I'd love to say yes but its mostly me so that's hypocritical 

Connors: ooft

Jane: night boys

 

.-.-.-.-.

 

Carmichael: heads up

Jane: ??

Carmichael: Caps in a mood today, like foul

St-Simon: my ass still hurts from that practise 

Jane: Dude I'm starting to think we share a fuck buddy with how often you say Roz makes your ass hurt

Marlow: sweet fucking jesus

Carmichael: shots fired

Connors: did y'all fight or something, parents are moody today 🥲

St-Simon: ☠️☠️

Jane: We did not fight thank you, I'll check in though

Jane: thank you

Carmichael: no problems boss lady 🙂‍↕️

Jane: how many concussions have you had put together again?

Marlow: ...ooft 

St-Simon: Roz does not have a peaceful moment with you does he?

Jane: you think we see eachother for a "peaceful" time?

Connors: nah they're doing the nastyyy

Marlow: what did you sniff this time Connors?

Jane: very committed to knowing his captains sex life, maybe its you I share him with 

Carmichael: Jane def missing Roz cause she's taking no prisoners 

Jane: careful or you're included in that

Carmichael: ☠️

 

-.-.-.-.-.

 

Jane: thank me later

St-Simon: eh?

Carmichael: holy fuck

Marlow: I wish I was blind 

Connors: JANE YOU ANIMAL

St-Simon: OH I SEE NOW

St-Simon: GROSS

Connors: CAN CAP EVEN WEAR A SHIRT

Carmichael: I dont know if we should be grateful his mood is gone or horrified cause its Jane has him down bad

Jane: dont piss him off please and thanks, we have dinner plans later

Connors: A DATE

Marlow: perhaps a bit of conversation on that label?

Carmichael: or Roz is getting lucky again

St-Simon: god help us

Jane: 😌

Marlow: at least hes being nicer 😭

 

 

-.-.-.-

 

Carmichael: hypothetically

Jane: what

Carmichael: sheesh shes blunt 

Carmichael: anyways

Carmichael: can we see what you look like

Connors: yes please

St-Simon: jesus you do beg like children 

Jane: no ❤️

Carmichael: mannnn why not

Marlow: ignore him, hes digging for things to bug Cap on

Jane: cause Roz doesn't have me as a screensaver for reasons

Jane: if you wanted actual dirt just ask

Connors: WHATS ROZ LIKE IN BED

St-Simon: you're a foul creature Connors

Connors: she said ask

Jane: you think hes bossy in practise 

Jane: should see him at home

Marlow: home?

Connors: home aye

St-Simons: hmmm

Carmichael: i take one shit and miss Jane admitting Roz lives WITH HER

Jane: jesus christ

Jane: phrasing with you people 

Jane: i meant in general good God

Connors: BOOO

Marlow: we kinda guessed he'd be bossy anywhere 

Jane: oh innocent dude

Marlow: eh?

Jane: there's Rozanov bossy in general 

Jane: you dont think he gets those scratches from being nice 

Carmichael: i might go back to the toilet to puke

Connors: somehow Jane confirming it makes it worseeee

Jane: you asked

Connors: lesson learnt 

St-Simon: hypothetically 

Jane: not this shit again

St-Simon: rude, anyway, hypothetically, is there a game soon he doesn't know you can make it too?

Jane: nope he knows my schedule like I know his

Carmichael: wE areNt toGeThER

Jane: i know who your missus is, dont go there pal

Carmichael: SHEESH

Connors: OOP

Marlow: ignore him

Jane: no problems there

Carmichael: Jane you wound me

Jane: you sure you play hockey with that weak pride?

Marlow: 👀

St-Simon: oh damn

Connors: fight fight fight

Carmichael: Roz your not girl is mean as fuck

Jane: xoxo

Connors: GOSSIP GIRL

Marley: im requesting you get a drug test this time

 

Chapter 4: Lily Meet Montreal, Montreal Meet Lily

Chapter Summary

Here comes Ilya/Lily scarring the Voyagers into an early grave!

Chapter Notes

Y'all your comments have me in fits of tears at 1am, I am wheezing AHAH.

The love on this fic is so warming.

 
Did we want voyagers drama when they learn who Lily is or did we wanna keep it funny? I'll dust off my hurt/comfort writing skills if the people want it.

There will be some angst soon cause we're on the approach to tuna melt d-day.

- Operation Captain -

Drapeau: okay listen up

Pike: its too early for this

JJ: what even is "this"?

Comeau: another chat? Really?

Mitty: why me 😭

Drapeau: cause you lot are still in the locker room too

Drapeau: anyone see Holzy's face?

Pike: did you hit your head?

Mitty: oh wait no Hay, hes right

Mitty: Caps got a little grin goin on over there

Hayden: fuck me not again

Comeau: again???

Mitty: Aye??

Drapeau: spit it out pike

Hayden: not a word of this to Shane

Hayden: or we may all get stuck on a diet and the training run from hell

JJ: yeah yeah got it

Hayden: Holzys got a fuck buddy

JJ: PARDON

Mitty: Cap?? Never

Comeau: i call bullshit

Drapeau: Saint Hollander??

Hayden: fuck he might take me out, yes for a couple of years i think

JJ: and her name issss?

Hayden: I spied the contact name before, its Lily

Mitty: he didnt tell you?

Drapeau: does Holzy tell anyone anything? 

Mitty: point taken

Comeau: hey Hayden

Hayden: what?

Comeau: feel like doing a recon mission 

Hayden: your out of your fucking mind Comeau 

Drapeau: awh come on please

Mitty: risky business 

Hayden: maybe

 

 

-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: you fuckers better cover my ass

Hayden: if he ever finds out

Drapeau: LEGEND PIKE

Comeau: holy shit he did it

JJ: didnt get scarred for life did ya?

Hayden: no comment

Mitty: 👀

Comeau: 👀

JJ: 👀

Drapeau: 👀

Hayden: they sext more then I do with my wife

Drapeau: AYE CAPTAINS GOT GAME

Comeau: who knew he had it in him

JJ: adding her or not Pike?

Mitty: hopefully she doesnt tell Holzy 

Hayden: about to find out

 

- Hayden Has Added Lily to the Conversation -

Lily: what the fuck is this?

Hayden: oh-

Drapeau: damn thats an entrance 

Lily: who the fuck is this?

Mitty: hi! We're Holzys teammates 

Comeau: we were a bit curious 

JJ: about whos kept our captain down bad

Lily: are you so in love with captain you steal his phone? 

Lily: should have known, voyagers are sneaky

Hayden: talking like that sounds like your not a fan

Lily: Boston, what is the saying, born and raised?

Drapeau: holy. Fuck.

Comeau: aint no way

JJ: so when he gets all harsh on the ice in Boston

Mitty: im shook

Lily: yes, you can thank me for happy, well kept captain 

Lily: now fuck off

Hayden: no wait!

Lily: why?

JJ: we can tell you things about Holzy for fun

Comeau: if you stay and let us know a bit more about him

Drapeau: pleasseee

Mitty: 🙂

Lily: hmm

Lily: tell Shane and I cut your dicks off ❤️

Hayden: yeah im gonna need to know how you two get along

 

 

-.-.--.-

 

Lily: Your team can thank me in morning prayers

Lily: see easy, thank you God for giving captain girl who gives good head. Goodnight!

Hayden: brb puking

Drapeau: DAMN LILY

Comeau: should I be horrified or thankful 

JJ: grateful, captain just took that game out like a weapon 

Mitty: secret weapon Lily

Lily: 😉

Chapter 5: Montreal

Chapter Notes

The consensus is to keep this as a crack fic so CHAOS IT SHALL BE.

In essence, Lily gets to be our sex positive queen and Jane is about to have these boys doing her dirty work.

 

Youre comments are amazing, I love it so so much.

Please enjoy!

JJ: Lily

Comeau: Lilllyyy

Drapeau: Lily

Drapeau: Lily 

Drapeau: Lily 

Lily: fucking what now? 

Lily: You need hockey tips? Hit puck, score goal, everyone's happy.

Hayden: good grief

JJ: ouch

JJ: but nooo

Comeau: we had a question about Holzy

Drapeau: if you'll provide the answer 

Mitty: please

Lily: Mitty gets to ask

Drapeau: WHAT WHY

Lily: cause hes good boy who knows his manners

Mitty: kiss my ass Comeau 

Comeau: she has favourites already 😭

Hayden: shane is absolutely going to kill us

Lily: no no, you misunderstand

Lily: Hollander is the only favourite cause hes good in bed

Lily: rest of you fight for 12th place 

Comeau: my fucking eyes BURN

Mitty: 🥲

Hayden: JESUS LILY

Drapeau: fucking christ

JJ: i regret my life choices leading me here

Lily: no wonder your single

Lily: cannot woo a girl to save life

JJ: HEY

Lily: the question?

Comeau: right right

Comeau: are you officially Holzys girl?

Comeau: cause there's a WAGs chat begging for an additional member from Shane

Lily: sick of your flings entering and exiting the chat Drapeau?

Drapeau: WHY AM I CATCHING STRAYS

Lily: you are the stray

Hayden: ☠️☠️☠️

Mitty: ☠️☠️☠️

Lily: no, im not Holzys girl

Lily: officially anyway 

Mitty: ...and unofficially?

Hayden: ??

Lily: Your captain is best fuck of the year

Comeau: BLEACH, WHERE IS THE BLEACH

Hayden: I cannot room with this man anymore 

Lily: good idea, single room means easier to fuck him

Drapeau: Hayden just screamed out loud

Comeau: Holzy thinks Hayden has hysteria 

Mitty: he looks green

JJ: wait do you guys fuck in the shared rooms?

Hayden: on gods green earth, say no

Lily: no

Lily: we get nice hotel

Lily: so he can be loud 😌

Mitty: Hayden's legging it to the toilet 

Lily: he got a crush on Hollander or something?

Drapeau: just questioning his roomies secret sex life

JJ: send this man help

Lily: Pike maybe, leave Hollander, hes exactly where he wants to be 😉

Comeau: wait where is Holzy??

Drapeau: i didnt see him leave the locker room

JJ: his stuff is gone

Mitty: just looked, cars gone too

Hayden: oh be fucked

Lily: Your captains about to be

JJ: LILYS IN MONTREAL Y'ALL 

Lily: dedicate your next win to me boys

Lily: hes a happy man

Lily: unofficially

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: hey Lily 

Lily: what now Pike

Hayden: sheesh

Hayden: have you talked to Shane today?

Lily: no 

Lily: why?

Drapeau: could you send him a sext or photo or something 

Drapeau: we beg of you

Mitty: jesus christ Drapeau 

Comeau: Holzy is going to have no team left standing after this practise 

JJ: I can feel the blood in my legs pooling

Lily: Pike how do you have all these kids 

Lily: with that poor excuse of stamina 

Hayden: OI

Lily: poor voyagers

Lily: captain has too much stamina 

Lily: and they cant handle it

Drapeau: what and you would?

Lily: where you think he learned to increase it

Mitty: AHHH NOPE

Hayden: gross

Comeau: where did Saint Hollander go

JJ: was he ever around 

Drapeau: disgusting 

Drapeau: but on that topic

Drapeau: how long exactly have you been seeing each other

Lily: define seeing each other

Lily: changes timeline

Hayden: IS IT OFFICIAL NOW

JJ: IF YES WHY IS CAPTAIN GRUMPY

Lily: boys and theyre bad English

Lily: i meant do you count fucking and leaving or fucking and talking 

Comeau: Lily why ☠️

Lily: I fix captains attitude, kisses

Hayden: what?

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: suddenly 

Hayden: that last text makes sense

Lily: cant practise with hard on

Lily: pictures are very fun 

Mitty: CAN someone please trade me out of this chat 

Lily: 😘

Chapter 6: Boston and Montreal Meet Tuna Melt D-Day

Chapter Summary

Our Boston and Voyagers boys are about to see the miscommunication of the century.

Which will last about five minutes our time.

But both teams are about to feel the burn from heavy practise and unbridled pent up emotions from our favourite constipated Captains.

Chapter Notes

Babe's wake up, they hit the pentagon- oh wait no, its just the break up of the situationship of the decade.

 

I aim to please and update like my ass is on fire.

 

That being said, ya girl needs her drama.

 

St-Simon: Roz is 100% seeing Jane tomorrow.

Connors: is the Russian blushinnn 

Marlow: can see it from here boys

Carmichael: oh jaannneeeee

Jane: yeah yeah, shut your traps, I'm seeing him tomorrow 

Connors: its our off week, which city is he meeting you in

Marlow: 👀

Carmichael: 👀

St-Simon: 👀

Jane: Boston, its his place

Jane: ah fuck

Jane: I said nothing assholes 

Marlow: holy

Marlow: fuck

St-Simon: OH hes definitely down bad

Connors: HIS OWN PLACE

Carmichael: we are hardly there and WE'RE HIS TEAM

Jane: you suck his dick too then?

Marlow: SHEESH

Marlow: Jane has teeth

Carmichael: im thinking we can say officially Roz's girl soon

St-Simon: shut the fuck up Mick!

Marlow: Mick

Connors: oh fuckk

Jane: its not that thanks but your easy to rile up

Carmichael: deflection 

Carmichael: shes good 

Carmichael: I'll give her that

Jane: have a good weekend boys

Jane: dont call your captain unless someone's lost a limb

Jane: on second thought even then, he has piss all medical knowledge 

Jane: dont call

Connors: GET IT JANEEE

Marlow: dear fucking lord

 

 

-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: Lily 

Comeau: Lily dearrrr

Drapeau: Lil Lily

Lily: call me that again and I'll snip your balls 

Drapeau: d a m n

JJ: any chance ur the reason captain just ducked out from his room 👀

Mitty: I saw him leg it to an uber 

Hayden: he looked quite happy with himself

Lily: I'm home for once so yes

Lily: if you interrupt for anything other then literal death

Lily: you will need casket 

Comeau: Holzy must have a fear kink or something 

Comeau: you're fucking terrifying 

Lily: or maybe he listens well enough I dont need threats 🙂‍↕️

Drapeau: you know what

Drapeau: Holzy is down bad

Drapeau: and I cant blame him

Mitty: go get laid dude, you're moping is weird 

Drapeau: AYE

Lily: Mitty you learn well

Lily: very proud 

Hayden: 100% Mitty is the favourite child

Lily: kisses 

 

-.-.-.-.-.

Lily: Hollander 

Lily: Hollander please

- One Missed Call from Lily -

Lily: at least tell me your back okay

Lily: Hollander 

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: Lily what the fuck happened 

Comeau: woah what's going on

JJ: Hayden?

Drapeau: eh?

Mitty: Is Shane okay?? He nearly took me out on his way in running

Hayden: Lily???

Hayden: Lily if you dont answer im calling

Hayden: Shane is crying in the bathroom 

Drapeau: what the fuck

Lily: dont loose your balls

Lily: bad conversation 

Lily: apologies boys 

Mitty: are you okay?

Lily: I messed up and pushed too much

Lily: he freaked and ran

Lily: thank you for telling me he got back

Lily: goodnight 

Hayden: what no

Comeau: Lily???

Drapeau: holy shit

Mitty: fucking hell

Hayden: can someone tell coach Shane is sick with food poisoning and will be out of tonight's dinner

JJ: yeah sure bud

Hayden: I hope ur okay Lily 

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Connors: Jane?

Marlow: Connors not now

Connors: no I wanna check in

Connors: somethings wrong with Roz

St-Simon: he seems in his head 

St-Simon: not himself after seeing Jane

Carmichael: Jane are you okay??

Jane: its my fault

Jane: I ran

Jane: too real to quick and fucked up

Jane: im sorry

Marlow: woah hang on

Marlow: im sure its nothing talking cant help with

Connors: Jane are you okay??

Carmichael: try calling him Jane

St-Simon: Jane?

Marlow: fuck

 

 

-.-.-.-

 

- Message Deleted -

- Message Deleted - 

- Message Deleted - 

Jane: I'm sorry

- Your message has been deleted - 

Chapter 7: Boston and Montreal

Chapter Summary

Okay okay, just a smidge more angst I promise.

I'm making a change though cause I'm already off the plot - we still see Rose but it goes differently.

 

Boston is playing therapist.
Montreal is doing damage control.

Chapter Notes

Can you tell its a Saturday for me and I dont have work?

I couldn't leave you hanging like that.

 

- Cap and Jane -

Marlow: new chat Mick?

Carmichael: yup, we need to figure out how to help Roz and his girl.

Connors: our parents are getting a divorce 😭

Marlow: not helping 

St-Simon: honestly could just do with a sign a life from her

St-Simon: its shit we dont have an address or anything to check

Connors: feel like snooping through a phone again Mick?

Carmichael: fuck no

Carmichael: its a miracle he didnt catch me the first go

Marlow: we already shot ourselves in the foot with this cause we cant ask him direct

St-Simon: I cant do another game like that

St-Simon: he looked about ready to either loose teeth or take out someone else's 

Connors: ouch on a fucking loss too

Carmichael: okay so we just keep trying to check in then?

Marlow: yep

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: Lily... are you okay?

Hayden: we swear we wouldve said something 

Drapeau: im honest to god shocked

Comeau: who knew Holzy was on that road

Mitty: Dude 

Comeau: sorry

JJ: he is sad though 

JJ: not normal captain 

Mitty: he doesnt get happy looking at his phone

Hayden: unless he admits it, I call bullshit

Lily: I have seen photos, I am not side piece 

Lily: If he wishes to move on with her

Lily: leave it

Hayden: no 

Comeau: absolutely not

Drapeau: not an option 

Lily: I said fucking leave it

Mitty: Lily, we dont think what happened was okay

Mitty: he got spooked, but the press is full of shit most of the time

Hayden: I'll talk to him

 

-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: Shane

Hayden: bud please we gotta talk

Shane: ??

Hayden: Rose? Really?

Shane: what's wrong with Rose? What's going on?

Hayden: Dude you were all smiley for Lily, dont even argue, you come back in tears then what?

Shane: I dont want to talk about it

Shane: nothing happened 

Hayden: Shane

Hayden: ?

Hayden: fuck

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Marlow: hey Jane, you've not left the chat so I hope you do read these

Marlow: just checking in

Connors: come baccckkkk we miss youuu

Carmichael: Dude

St-Simon: ignore them

Jane: im sorry if you were worried, and for messing with his mood

Marlow: hey, look, shit happens, both of you are adults 

Carmichael: are you okay though 

Jane: im fine

Connors: bullshit 

St-Simon: Connors!

Connors: Roz is miserable, Jane isn't doing good either, you can tell

Marlow: ...

Jane: we'll talk, maybe, at some point 

Connors: ☹️

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Drapeau: holding up okay Lil lilly?

Lily: sad doesn't mean I wont snip balls 

Drapeau: ayee there she is

Mitty: sad though 😭

JJ: I still think media is talking shit

Hayden: second that

Comeau: maybe hes just being an idiot 

JJ: he will see sense soon

Lily: he is not stupid

Lily: if he is happy

Lily: so be it

Hayden: fucking hell 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Jane: im sorry

Jane: so so fucking sorry 

Jane: i didn't pay attention 

Lily: are you drunk 

Jane: drinking kinda 

Jane: please

Lily: go home Hollander 

Lily: go see girlfriend 

Jane: girlfriend?

Jane: shes not?

Jane: hello?

 

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Lily: I will regret asking this

Hayden: ???

Comeau: 👀

Drapeau: 👀

JJ: 👀

Mitty: 👀

Lily: who the fuck left Hollander in a bar?

Hayden: hes where? 

Mitty: by choice?

Lily: he texts me confused who his girlfriend is

Lily: so I ask again, who the fuck left him there?

Drapeau: he is a grown man

Comeau: fuck who doesn't drink like ever 

JJ: there's a bar down the street from the hotel, care for a trip gentlemen? 

Hayden: already outside

Mitty: we'll get our boy Lily

Mitty: thank you

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Jane: I'll repeat myself a lot here

Jane: I'm sorry 

Jane: for running and for last night 

Lily: quit getting lost and it'll help 

Jane: I need you to know, we aren't dating 

Jane: Rose and me

Jane: No one bothered to correct tabloids cause they fade anyway 

Jane: shes just a friend 

Jane: who knows 

Lily: knows?

Jane: not you specifically

Jane: but me and the idea of you

Lily: All-stars game

Lily: we talk then

Jane: okay 🙂

 

 

Chapter 8: Boston

Chapter Summary

Divorce arc over?

 

Boston gets a treat.

Chapter Notes

I cannot stop with updating this.

I love these characters too much.

 

Enjoy.

- Cap and Jane -

Carmichael: so she doesnt feel bombarded 

Carmichael: BUT WHAT A FUCKING PLAY FROM ROZ AND HOLLANDER 

Marlow: did you guys see that big old smooch to Hollanders head?

Marlow: Roz is flying today

St-Simon: its some beautiful hockey 

Connors: he seems happy as out there

Connors: wait

Connors: you dont think? 

Marlow: surely she wouldve said

St-Simon: ...one way to know

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Connors: JANNNNEEEE

Connors: JANE ARE YOU BACK

Marlow: CONNNORS

Marlow: TIME OUT

Marlow: IMMEDIATELY 

Carmichael: well so much for subtle 

St-Simon: fuck what if it wasn't Jane or something 

Carmichael: well this is awkward 

Jane: hi boys 

Connors: MOOOMMM

Connors: SHES HERE

Jane: you need therapy kid

Jane: like a lot of it

Connors: ☹️

Marlow: how are you Jane?

Jane: better, a lot better

St-Simon: sorry to drop that on you

St-Simon: Roz just seemed back to himself in the All-Stars game and we thought

Carmichael: maybe y'all were back to it

Marlow: jesus christ Mick

Jane: your missus must reallllyy love you for other qualities Mick 

Jane: not sure what

Jane: but something 

Carmichael: O U C H

Marlow: oh shes a lot better

Jane: I appreciate the concern about the question though 

St-Simon: shit so not with Roz, we're so sorry

Marlow: fuck sorry Jane

Connors: oh god

Connors: sorry

Carmichael: Jane?

Jane: sorry sorry, got distracted 

Jane: dont apologise 

Carmichael: ...distracted?

Marlow: fuck are you working?

Jane: erm

Jane: no

Jane: not exactly 

Connors: fuck off we have a step parent 

Marlow: CONNORS

- Marlow has Removed Connors from the Conversation - 

Marlow: and he can stay out

Carmichael: holy shit

St-Simon: Jane if your with someone we'll fuck off

Marlow: dont forget about us though, we think your cool

Carmichael: yeah! Don't have to be doing the nasty with Roz just to be friends aye

Marlow: will remove you next Mick

Carmichael: rude 

Jane: well yes there's someone 

St-Simon: we're happy for you

Marlow: tell him he'll have half the Bears roster taking him out if he hurts you

Carmichael: ^^^

St-Simon: even Roz, he'd go swinging I bet

Jane: now thatd be a sight

Carmichael: like the idea of ur ex fighting ur new man aye?

St-Simon: DUDE

Jane: you can add Connors back now btw

Marlow: must I?

Jane: And no it'd be a sight watching half the bears roster AND Ilya trying to swing at himself 

Marlow: am I reading that right

St-Simon: she called him Ilya 

Carmichael: ...can I say it now?

Jane: you said he played well yes?

Jane: someone had to give him a pregame fuck and it sure as hell wasn't gonna be some random in fucking Tampa 

Jane: thank you very much

Marlow: HOLY FUCK THEY'RE BACK

St-Simon: OH MY GOD

Carmichael: WE'RE SO BACK BABY

Marlow: oh fuck Connors 

- Marlow Had Added Connors to the Conversation -

Connors: finally 

Connors: OH 

Connors: MY

Connors: FUCKING

Connors: GOD

Connors: NO MORE DIVORCE ARC

Jane: yes yes children, no more shared custody 

Jane: sorry for Ilyas week with you, sure those trainings were rough 

Connors: you have no idea

St-Simon: girl i nearly died

Carmichael: RIP my ass

Marlow: I might shed a tear 

Connors: wait if your Mom

Connors: does that make Ilya Daddy?

Marlow: CONNORS FOR FUCK SAKES

Carmichael: ew ew eW

St-Simon: there is something WRONG WITH YOU

Jane: yes

Jane: but dont tell him because he'll be more insufferable 

Jane: my back hurts as it is

Connors: OH MY FUCKING GOD AAAHHH

Marlow: OH GOD WHY

Carmichael: ATTA GIRL JANE

St-Simon: holy shit 

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Marlow: you absolute God send of a woman

St-Simon: he better put a ring on it

Connors: or the Bears gotta hire you

Carmichael: I can actually feel my legs post that training 

Jane: I'll tell him to go harder then 

St-Simon: OH god please dont 

Jane: oops sorry

Jane: wrong context

Connors: OH CHRIST

Marlow: AYE

Carmichael: I might cry and its not from happiness 

St-Simon: you said it

Carmichael: JANE MADE IT ABOUT FUCKIN ROZ

Jane: awh poor boys 

Jane: bit too graphic for you?

Jane: thought you were more aware then that

Marlow: aye now

Marlow: we just wanna be nice to Roz's lady

Carmichael: is it like offical offical? 

Jane: no

Connors: BOOO

Jane: not yet

Jane: but we're more exclusive then before so less miscommunication 

St-Simon: proud of you both for talking 

Jane: better sex too

Carmichael: AH

Marlow: I need a drink and a priest 

Jane: a kink there Marley?

Connors: WHO IS SHE

Carmichael: OOFT

Jane: xoxo

Chapter 9: Montreal

Chapter Summary

Montreal boys get to celebrate then wish they never learned to read.

 

Pretty babies we're so back.

Chapter Notes

Heyyyyyy babies.

 

Guess whos back *again, someone take the coffee away cause im still going*

 

I still have a bit more to put other there for this fic but I wanna write more so maybe I make one like this for when Ilya moves to Ottawa?

Or a full length fic with texting for something?

Who knows but let me know if thats a cool idea for ya.

Hayden: that pass-

Hayden: the power play with Rozanov 

Hayden: holy fuck Shanes on fire

Comeau: Holzy is back 🙌 

Drapeau: and we're gonna feel it when he's home

JJ: he does not look so sad now

Mitty: by chance...

Mitty: anyone heard from Lily

Comeau: you dont think....

Drapeau: surely we wouldve noticed 

Hayden: unless she's in Tampa? With Him?

JJ: do we even dare?

Drapeau: fuck yes we do

Comeau: back to the chat

 

-.-.-.-.-.

 

Comeau: Lilllyyy 

Drapeau: Lil lil

Lily: you both masochistic 

Lily: seem to want me to snip snip balls

Hayden: well thats a good start

Lily: to what? Alleyway vasectomy?

Mitty: LILY

Lily: MITTY

JJ: why is Mitty a favourite damn it

Lily: good boy who knows his manners

Lily: have said this

Hayden: anyway

Hayden: without prying

Lily: if you didnt pry, we would have never spoken Pike

Hayden: touche 

Comeau: Are you and Holzy fucking again?

Mitty: a bull in a fucking china shop that one

Lily: 👀

JJ: no denial?

Drapeau: oh? 

Hayden: oh?

Comeau: oh?

Mitty: oh?

Lily: he played well yes? 

Hayden: mmhm

Hayden: so?

Lily: 😉 captain is well kept once again boys

Drapeau: SHES BACK

Comeau: BEAST HOLZY IS BACK

Hayden: POWER COUPLE

JJ: AYE AYEE

Mitty: NO MORE AWKWARD MOPEY HOLZY

Lily: he was upset?

Hayden: it felt like watching a kicked puppy 

Lily: he does have puppy eyes 

Lily: pretty when he begs

Comeau: LILY WHAT THE FUCK

Drapeau: I'm seeing jesus rn

Mitty: I forgot how blunt she is with sex with our captain 

Hayden: 🥲🥲

JJ: ...gross

Lily: you act like prudes

Lily: yet Hayden has mini army of children 

Lily: rest of you are whores 

Lily: minus Mitty

Lily: he is good boy

Comeau: AYE

Drapeau: yeah no rebuttal here

JJ: offended ☠️

Hayden: fucking stop calling me out

Lily: then let me talk about Shane Hollander in my bed in peace 

Lily: pretty boy 

Drapeau: 🤢🤢

Comeau: We cant even tell Holzy his girl is vile

JJ: he would kill us

Lily: Shane is too nice for this

Lily: I'll do it for him

Mitty: power dynamics here are wild

Lily: yes, I tell, he listens, we both have good night 

Hayden: someone pass me the fucking bleach 

Hayden: please 

Comeau: v o m i t i n g

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Lily: I expect a big thank you boys

Hayden: aye?

Comeau: 👀

Drapeau: pardon?

JJ: scuse me?

Mitty: oh my god

Hayden: what??

Mitty: Captain never ends practise that swiftly 

Mitty: but I saw him on his phone before we got dismissed 

Drapeau: LILY YOU DOG

Comeau: SEXTING HIM WHILE HES RUNNUNG PRACTISE 

Hayden: oh good lord

JJ: shes an evil genius 

JJ: must be studied 

Lily: kisses boys 

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Mitty: so Lily

Lily: yes?

Mitty: is it official?

Drapeau: 👀

Comeau: 👀

JJ: 👀

Hayden: 👀

Lily: nosey nosey boys

Lily: but no, not officially 

Hayden: BOO

Hayden: not this shit again

Comeau: come onnnn

Drapeau: do y'all like to hate fuck or something?

Lily: started like that

Mitty: OH DAMN

JJ: IT WAS A HATE FUCK?

Comeau: HOLZY DID A HATE FUCK

Drapeau: yikes

Hayden: back to the point

Lily: we are taking it slow 

Lily: no rush

Lily: but talking 

Hayden: oh thank fuck

Comeau: our lord heard our prayers 

 

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Lily: prepare to loose tonight boys

Lily: Boston will crush you

Hayden: feeling the love Lily

Drapeau: 🖕

Comeau: 🖕

Mitty: Lily 😭

JJ: yikes

Lily: ❤️

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: Lily call me when you see this

Hayden: Shanes hurt

Hayden: Lily?

 

Chapter 10: Boston and Montreal

Chapter Summary

...sorry for the cliffhanger

 

We're back but its starting with Boston's view just before and after Shanes unfortunate meeting with the floor.

 

Marlow darling, so sorry for the guilt your gonna get but I've got something planned for you.

Chapter Notes

Hey hey babies, how are weeee

Can't promise a hysterical post frenzy of 9 chapters again but can promise I'm caffeinated and going.

 

Carmichael: prepared for your team to get thrashed Jane?

Jane: you mean see them win and then get victory sex? Yes.

Marlow: and to think she left this chat once in absolute fear of talking to us.

Connors: when do we get to tell cap we've talking to his not girl

St-Simon: after they get married and I'm retired thanks

Jane: for that no wedding invite for you

Marlow: 👀👀👀👀

Connors: Mom and Dad at the alter?

Jane: you wish, sorry child, still a bastard for now

Connors: I'm holding you to the for now thing

Connors: you have a roster of bastard children here wanting to be legitimate 

Jane: xoxo

St-Simon: Roz is gonna kill us

Carmichael: a worthy demise if it means we've got the power couple

Jane: 🙂‍↕️

 

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Connors: Jane I'm not sure if you watched the game

Connors: Roz is a mess, so is Marley

Carmichael: we've got Marley, but Roz booked it out of here

St-Simon: if hes come to you, please look after him?

St-Simon: Jane??

Connors: fuck I hope she doesnt know Hollander 

Carmichael: oh fuck

Carmichael: that or Roz is with her already

St-Simon: Marley will text later, hes spooked right now.

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: Lily I'm serious 

Hayden: are you okay?

Comeau: did she answer your call?

Hayden: right to voicemail 

Drapeau: fuck

JJ: maybe phone is on mute or she's talking with Holzys parents? 

Hayden: I dont think they know about her, I haven't seen his parents call anyone

Mitty: Lily?

Lily: hello sorry

Lily: no his parents dont know

Lily: Pike is he breathing on his own?

Hayden: holy shit Lily

Hayden: yes, yes sorry he's not on a vent or anything 

Hayden: in surgery though

Lily: for what? His head? 

Hayden: collarbone, he'll be out rest of the season probably 

Drapeau: fucking hell

Comeau: poor cap

JJ: better then a fractured face 

Lily: Concussion?

Hayden: highly likely, will know more when hes awake 

Hayden: Lily do you want to come here? 

Lily: I cannot

Mitty: in a different city? 

Lily: No I'm here but I cannot come in

JJ: why?

Comeau: He'd appreciate seeing you I'm sure

Drapeau: official or not 

Hayden: Lily please

Lily: would not be appropriate 

Lily: too much people do not know 

Lily: he did not choose this

Mitty: how about Hayden sends the address and room number? 

Mitty: you can visit if you feel up to it and know if anyone else is there

Lily: maybe

Hayden: I just sent it to you, I'll let you know when people aren't here

Hayden: He was asking for someone before he went out

Lily: went out?

Hayden: fuck sorry, he was unconscious in the ambulance 

Lily: oh

Drapeau: he's gonna be okay 

Comeau: probably going to be high as fuck later today

Comeau: but hes okay

JJ: he is strong, he wont let this stop him

Mitty: Lily?

Hayden: poor girl

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Lily: please be okay

- Your Message Has Been Deleted - 

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: I convinced his parents to go back and get some sleep

Hayden: I need to go change as well

Hayden: He was awake for a little too

Hayden: If you want to go Lily, he'll be on his own for about two hours 

Hayden: please go

Hayden: not to speak for Shane or pressure you but I think you mean more to him then his awkward ass can express 

Lily: Pike

Lily: Thank you

Lily: ...he means more to me too

Hayden: 🙂

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Captain: Marley

Marlow: hey cap, are you okay??

Captain: I am asking you first

Marlow: I haven't heard anything on Hollander 

Marlow: god is he okay??

Captain: He's okay, broken collarbone and concussion but is okay

Captain: It was a legal hit and you did not mean it

Marlow: thank you

Marlow: if you see Hollander, tell him I'm sorry 

Captain: I will

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Marlow: He's okay

Marlow: Roz messaged me, broken collarbone and concussion but okay 

Marlow: fuck I thought I broke his back

Carmichael: buddy the sport is dangerous 

Carmichael: Hollander is the most relaxed player ever

Carmichael: he'll probably apologise for stressing you out

Connors: no stress buddy 

Marlow: yeah

St-Simon: we've all had a collision or two which is hard to get past

St-Simon: you both hit at an awkward angle but its okay

Marlow: Has Jane responded at all?

Marlow: fuck what if she's made I ruined the night 

Connors: she hasn't but I highly doubt you upset her

Carmichael: probably busy with Roz

Carmichael: who looked like a mess 

Connors: oddly enough, you'd think Hollander was his friend with that reaction 

St-Simon: they've been in this world together since before being drafted 

St-Simon: wouldnt be surprised if they were actually friends 

Marlow: true 

Marlow: fuck me 

Connors: I'm coming over buddy, better you have company right now 

Marlow: sounds good 

Connors: mom can scold us later for being nosey 

Carmichael: you gotta stop calling her that 

Connors: never 🙂

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.

 

Hayden: thank you

Lily: ???

Hayden: I know you visited Shane

Hayden: he's all loopy saying he saw his Lily

Lily: oh

Lily: yes I came in

Hayden: He had to tell himself to shut up at one point, kept stumbling over your name

Hayden: sounded like he said "Illy" 

Lily: yes well

Lily: brain is scrambled 

Hayden: ...want the video?

Lily: ...he never knows you have this or show me

Lily: yes?

Hayden: 😉

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Jane: hey boys

Jane: sorry for the spook 

Jane: Marlow you did nothing wrong

Marlow: oh my god Jane 

Connors: MOM

Carmichael: there she issss

St-Simon: all okay Jane?

Jane: yeah sorry, I'll be real, tripped and smashed my phone 

Jane: currently using a temporary 

Jane: wont respond a lot till its all replace 

Marlow: oh thank god

Marlow: you're not mad at me?

Jane: no dude, not at all

Jane: talk to you boys soon 

Marlow: 🙂

Connors: BYE MOOOMM

Carmichael: someone sedate that kid please

St-Simon: Roz is going to deck him for calling his girl Mom

 

 

 

 

Chapter 11: Boston and Montreal

Chapter Summary

Now I know we allll want cottage shenanigans, but we do need to address the catalyst as to why we get that far.

Please enjoy our chats reaction to the very brave Scott Hunter - this is going to give a bit of a preview on how I've changed some vibes here.

 

Its OOC, this I know, but im here for the crack fic vibes and being a twat because someone is gay is not happening.

I think it important to note, I was unsure if I wanted to use the Voyagers drama in this and have decided on a different route.

I cannot express enough how important it is for me to have some good media where the fears of coming out aren't fulfilled.

But the chaos shall continue - just a different way and more entertaining.

Chapter Notes

My darlings, I am caffeinated, inhaling a massive bowl of ramen, and using this to relieve some nerves about starting my new job tomorrow.

I love and appreciate all of you, your comments have been overwhelming and beautiful.

(P.s. if there is something you'd like to see, a scene or joke you think will fit, please tell me, I want this to be media for the people reading, not just myself)

Connors: I was hoping it was our year

Connors: but wont lie, having down time is nice

Marlow: yeah till Roz comes back from Russia and beats our asses back into shape

Carmichael: is he the same masochistic with you Jane or are we just unlucky 

St-Simon: someone muzzle him, he's had too many drinks already 

Jane: the only masochistic thing he can pull out of his ass with me is how many rounds in a night 

Jane: he knows better then to try it

Carmichael: OH DAMN

Connors: MOM

Jane: yes son?

Connors: omg im their son

Connors: 😭😭

St-Simon: has Jane had a few?

Jane: 😌

Marlow: I haven't known peace since I met Roz and then I meant his not girl and suddenly I'll never know peace again

Jane: watch the game Marley 

Jane: and pretend you dont know that much about your captains sex life

Carmichael: to be fair we dont know toooo much 

Jane: is that a prompting request or a thankful statement? 

St-Simon: Janes response just feels like a threat 

Connors: any answer is wrong 

Marlow: someone make a bunker 

Jane: 😌✨️

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: cup night boyssss

Hayden: and Lily

Lily: 🖕

Comeau: touchy touchy

Drapeau: upset Boston didn't get in there?

Lily: we made it further then you did

Mitty: ouch

Lily: not you Mitty 

Lily: you did good

Mitty: 😊

JJ: and the rest of us?

Lily: battling it for 15th on the player ranking 

Hayden: SHEESH 

Hayden: we dropped three 😭

Lily: you'll drop till off the roster if not careful 

JJ: she is deadly tonight 

Drapeau: take cover boys

Lily: yes I am bogeyman 

Lily: will convince Shane to jump ship 

Lily: and Mitty

Lily: rest of you drown

Comeau: o u c h

Hayden: wounded 

JJ: 😭😭

Drapeau: RIP

Mitty: gameeee timeee

Lily: let us hope dinosaur Hunter does not fall on ice

Lily: old man

Comeau: not even Hunter is safe ☠️☠️

Drapeau: Lily remembers that one fight Holzy had with Hunter 

Comeau: and wont let her man down 

Lily: Hunter all bark bark

Lily: now shush

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Marlow: holy 

Marlow: fuck

Connors: did not expect that

Carmichael: he just full kissed a dude

Carmichael: on the ice

St-Simon: I dont think there's a fucking braver thing to do 

Connors: how the fuck has he managed to not shank someone over some of the comments that get thrown out there

Marlow: i think we need to learn to check ourselves a bit

St-Simon: agreed

Jane: you're not angry?

Marlow: angry?

Connors: shocked yes but God not angry

St-Simon: that man looks like hes been holding that in for a while

Carmichael: okay over there Jane?

Jane: I've seen worse reactions to coming out in sports

Jane: its good to know Ilyas team isn't an unsafe place 

Marlow: ...has there been an unsafe place for you?

Jane: no no

Jane: a cousin plays in high contact sports 

Jane: hes gay and doesn't think his team would respond well

Carmichael: poor dude

St-Simon: well if you and roz ever put it together, bring him to the family events 

Connors: yeah!

Jane: you would not know how much he'd appreciate that 

Jane: have a good night boys

 

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Comeau: i did not expect that

Hayden: holy fucking hell

Mitty: this is insane

Drapeau: no words

JJ: fucking christ 

Lily: Hunter has balls

Lily: I'll give him that

Comeau: I didnt think anyone like that played and would come out

Drapeau: his team must be reeling

JJ: you think they feel odd?

Lily: and why should they?

Comeau: pretty big secret Lily

Lily: surprised and shocked yes

Lily: should they feel badly about him?

Comeau: eh?

Mitty: she means should they be mad he hid it

Lily: yes

Hayden: I'd be upset because it meant he didn't feel safe with his team

Hayden: you should feel safe with your team at least

Drapeau: I think Holzy would keel over if he thought someone wouldnt feel safe with him

JJ: he tried to make everyone welcome 

Lily: and the rest of you?

Hayden: ???

Drapeau: huh?

Comeau: Lily are you good?

JJ: this feels a bit more then normal threatening 

Mitty: I mean fair 

Mitty: how often do people throw slurs out about being gay for the game

Mitty: she might know someone personally impacted by it

Lily: Mitty again is good boy

Lily: If I found out from Shane you were not okay with gay people 

Lily: no where to hide

Hayden: sheesh

Drapeau: point made, cant blame you for the emphasis 

Comeau: I think you'd have to beat Holzy to the hit first 

Mitty: Captain would rather quit then let that happen 

JJ: we've been lectured on types of chirps before 

JJ: scary captain mode

Hayden: Hunter is gonna need this kind of support 

Hayden: might need to talk to Shane about sending a message from the Voyagers team 

Lily: reach out yourself

Lily: support is better personal then statement from team 

Lily: dont be stupid 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Jane: I can pick you up from the airport 

Lily: I will send flight details 

Jane: I can't believe you're coming

Lily: Dinosaur Scott Huntet made some things clear

Lily: See you soon Shane

Jane: see you soon Ilya

Chapter 12: Boston and Montreal

Chapter Summary

Babies, sweet babies, we have made it to the cottage.

 

Shenanigans are guaranteed.

These chats are about to get their shits rocked.

Chapter Notes

Again I love you all, thank you for the well wishes with work, it went very well.

 

The insanity of how many hits, comments and kudos' this fic has gotten in so little time. I treasure all of it, even if I cant respond to everyone.

Stay safe, much love, let's get into this.

 

Connors: mom

Jane: yes son?

Connors: ...I love that you've just accepted this

Jane: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Jane: someone has to parent you, obviously Ilya let's you run rampant 

Connors: 😍

Marlow: im not sure if this is sweet or concerning 

Marlow: you imprinted on Roz's not girl like a baby duck

Carmichael: let's call it sweet and move on

St-Simon: Connors we had a plan here

Connors: OH RIGHT

Jane: hmm?

Connors: is cap with you by a potential chance 

Connors: and not in Russia like normal 

Carmichael: 👀

St-Simon: 👀

Marlow: 👀

Jane: if you breathe a word of this

Jane: to anyone 

Jane: you'll wish it was Ilya who knows you blabbed 

Jane: got it?

Marlow: yes ma'am 

St-Simon: heard loud and clear 

Carmichael: not a peep from me

Connors: understood 

Jane: hm

Jane: he is with me

Jane: for two weeks

Connors: holy

Connors: shit

Marlow: Jane, dear, and dont shoot me for calling you this, sweetheart thats um

Carmichael: what the fuck girl

St-Simon: that's rather domestic for casual with conversation 

Marlow: please tell me you're talking about being official with that vibe

Marlow: or I might break and tell Roz to man up

Jane: we're gonna talk

Jane: I think

Marlow: YOU THINK

Carmichael: GIRL

Connors: NAH

St-Simon: this cant go on forever, its already been back and forth for what

St-Simon: like two years?

Jane: HAH

Jane: two years he says

Marlow: pardon

Carmichael: how long has this been happening 

Connors: HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN AN UNKNOWNING BASTARD CHILD

Jane: ur adopted 

Jane: doesn't count

Connors: fair play

Carmichael: STOP DEFLECTING WOMAN

Jane: wanna repeat that?

Carmichael: sorry ma'am 

Jane: better

St-Simon: Jane

Jane: ugh fine

Jane: the "feelings", kicked in around when u started the chat

Jane: just fucking a bit longer 

Marlow: how long is a bit

Jane: well

Carmichael: woman

Jane: listen 

Connors: uh-huh

Jane: um

Marlow: waiting for a reason here

Carmichael: go on

St-Simon: all ears

Jane: fuck off 

Jane: its complicated 

Carmichael: fuck me dead she did not

Marlow: she did

Jane: what??

Connors: mom, dear, this isn't covered by the word complicated 

Connors: its a different stratosphere 

Jane: big word son

Connors: thanks

Connors: ..wait

Jane: ANYWAY

Jane: if we talk

St-Simon: when**

Jane: fuck u

Jane: after that

Marlow: cause it is happening 

Jane: did I not just say shut up

Jane: I'll explain

Carmichael: holding you to that

Connors: no take backs!

Marlow: we have the text proof

St-Simon: dont deflect Jane, actually talk

Jane: yeah yeah

Jane: talk later boys

Marlow: Roz more interesting?

Jane: very

Jane: and he just got out of the shower 

Jane: fuck hes hot

Marlow: yuckkk

Carmichael: such a simple statement 

Carmichael: yet so gross

Connors: bleh

St-Simon: Jane?

Connors: nah shes gone

Carmichael: to get it on with our captain 

Marlow: 🥲

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: blatantly 

Hayden: i need to know

Lily: you hit ur head Pike?

Hayden: are you with Shane on his so called silent retreat 

Lily: why?

Hayden: Lily please 

Hayden: its one fucking thing for what i just heard

Hayden: but if that boy is with someone else I need to kick his ass

Lily: HA

Lily: like what u heard Pike?

Hayden: SO YOU ARE THERE

Hayden: OH MY GOD YOU WERE THERE

Hayden: NO

Hayden: OH GOD

Hayden: tell me you weren't 

Hayden: GOD BLEACH

Hayden: I NEED BLEACH

Lily: he sounds very pretty no?

Hayden: AH

Hayden: puking 

Hayden: fuck off you were

Lily: go on Pike

Lily: say it

Hayden: I will not

Lily: you have half a team roster in kids

Lily: dont be prude

Hayden: 🥲

Lily: you heard your best friend get head 

Lily: how unfortunate for your timing 

Hayden: LILY

Hayden: WHY

Lily: you called at bad time

Hayden: HE ANSWERED 

Hayden: WHY WOULD HE ANSWER 

Lily: okay okay

Lily: he was not occupied when you call

Lily: hes just too good

Lily: to keep hands off of

Hayden: CHURCH

Hayden: IMMEDIATELY 

Hayden: F O U L

Lily: have good night Pike

Lily: ur best friend certainly is 😉

Hayden: 😭

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: so Lily is at the cottage

Hayden: with Shane

Comeau: HOLY SHIT 

Drapeau: WE ARENT EVEN ALLOWED THERE

Mitty: oh theyre about to be official official 

JJ: wait

JJ: DID YOU MEET LILY

Drapeau: BRO

Comeau: UNFAIR 

Mitty: mannnn

Hayden: NO NOT UNFAIR

Hayden: I didnt meet her

Hayden: just heard her

Comeau: eh?

Drapeau: you good over there Pike?

JJ: why is that so bad sounding 

Mitty: ...no way

Lily: once again

Lily: Mitty is smart boy

Hayden: I need therapy 

Hayden: or a hole to fall into

Comeau: im sorry confused 

JJ: me too

Drapeau: yup

Lily: for whores

Lily: you are very clueless

Comeau: OI

Drapeau: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

JJ: OH

Lily: there we go

Drapeau: the fuck are you babbling about Pike

Comeau: fuck off I just understood

Lily: another one

Drapeau: SERIOUSLY WHAT

Mitty: Hayden "heard" Lily

Mitty: not spoke too

Drapeau: yeah?

Drapeau: she talked in the background or something?

Hayden: oh my fucking God

JJ: bro

Mitty: Dude

Comeau: ffs Drapeau 

Lily: someone help this boy

Drapeau: ????

JJ: HAYDEN HEARD THEM HAVING SEX

Drapeau: NO

Hayden: YES

Hayden: someone body slam me into the boards please

Hayden: now

Lily: you lie Pike

Hayden: I DO NOT

Lily: we were not having sex

Lily: I just give good head

Mitty: LILY

Comeau: DIRTY DOGS

JJ: F O U L

Drapeau: AAHHH

Hayden: 🤢

Lily: kisses boys

JJ: not with that foul mouth youre not

Lily: MWAH

Mitty: 🥲

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

St-Simon: not to pry

St-Simon: but have y'all talked yet

Connors: you know its bad when even hes nosey 

Marlow: mmhm

Carmichael: jaaannnneeeeeeeeee

Connors: Jane?

Marlow: everything all good?

Carmichael: maybe they're fucking 

St-Simon: Dude

St-Simon: gross

Marlow: have SOME decorum 

Marlow: please

Carmichael: ugh fine

Connors: Jane?

St-Simon: fuck I hope nothing happened 

Marlow: if we pushed too much we're sorry

Carmichael: shit

Connors: ...😟

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Jane: hey

Jane: sorry for radio silence

Jane: some stuff happened 

Jane: needed phone down

St-Simon: dont apologise for being an adult

St-Simon: are you okay?

Connors: JANE

Connors: please say you're okay 😭

Jane: yeah, yeah im okay

Marlow: ? Not very convincing 

Carmichael: Jane did something go wrong??

Jane: no um, well just awkward truths 

Jane: my Dad walked in on us

Jane: not exactly how I planned that introduction to go

Marlow: oh fuckkk

Connors: nnoooo

Carmichael: sweet lord

St-Simon: dad and child's worst nightmare 

Jane: yeaahh and it was before we'd talk so 

Jane: awkward 

Marlow: ...before you talked?

St-Simon: meaning you have talked or need too?

Carmichael: not to be prying assholes 

Connors: but it kinda needs to be talked on now

Connors: you're dad met him

Jane: I'm aware, he was kissing me against the door

Carmichael: yikes

St-Simon: Jane

St-Simon: did you talk?

Jane: yes

Jane: yeah we did

Marlow: oh Jane 

Carmichael: thats not a very comforting response 

Connors: I'll deck him if he ran out on you after that

St-Simon: I am deadass about to call him 

St-Simon: he can fucking explain it

Jane: NO 

St-Simon: why not

Marlow: I think he needs to hear it Jane

Marlow: he shouldn't have left you after that

Jane: fuck, no, okay sorry I'm just still reeling

Jane: he didnt leave

Jane: hes asleep on my couch

Jane: we were watching a movie and he crashed

Jane: food coma

St-Simon: I'm not hearing that you talked 

Jane: well it is text 

St-Simon: Jane

Jane: sorry

Jane: we talked I promise 

Carmichael: and?

Connors: 👀

Marlow: 👀

Jane: not bastard children anymore 

Connors: OH MY GOD

Connors: THEYRE OFFICIAL

Connors: OFFICIALLY ROZ'S GIRL

Connors: OFFICIALLY MOM AND DAD

Carmichael: HOLY SHIT THATS AWESOME

Marlow: congrats Jane thats so sweet

Marlow: couldn't think of a better girl for him

Jane: thank you 

Jane: yeah haha, no better girl for that one

St-Simon: you'll be good partners

St-Simons: proud of you two

Jane: 😊

Connors: EEEEKKKK

Jane: ...okay now im asking

Jane: has this kid ever been drug tested???

Connors: heyyy 😭

Carmichael: yes

Marlow: yes

St-Simon: yes

Jane: and he passed???

Marlow: surprisingly 

Carmichael: somehow

St-Simon: probably rigged it

Connors: so mean to me 😭

Jane: with love kid

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Comeau: made anyone else wish they didnt have ears yet Lily?

Drapeau: jesus

Hayden: 😭😭

JJ: I might join Hayden to church 

Mitty: lord

Lily: If I tell this chat something 

Lily: can I trust you shut the fuck up

Lily: not a hint

Lily: not a peep

Lily: or breath to anyone or even Shane that you know?

Drapeau: OH MY GOD ARE YOU PREGNANT 

Mitty: YOU CANT JUST ASK A WOMAN THAT DICKHEAD

Hayden: DUDE

Hayden: my wife would smite you for that

JJ: SHEESH WHO RAISED YOU

Drapeau: sorry Lily 😭

Drapeau: got excited

Drapeau: even I can admit Holzy would have cute kids

Hayden: man has a point 

Mitty: awwhh Cap as a Dad? 

Mitty: thats sweet

Comeau: awwwhh

JJ: Lily?

Drapeau: oh fuck are you???

Hayden: do you need anything 

Hayden: my wife has like a grocery store of different tests I can drop off

Hayden: is Shane freaking out??

Mitty: Lily?

Lily: AHAHA

Lily: sorry sorry

Lily: I cant respond quickly enough

Lily: suddenly I am pregnant 

Hayden: you're not??

Lily: oh god no

Lily: no mini shanes 

Comeau: oh god I was freaking out there

Drapeau: I was about to take myself on a walk in the forest for that

Lily: ...yet

Hayden: WOAH

Mitty: PARDON

Comeau: AYE?

Drapeau: REPEAT THAT

JJ: SCUSE ME

Lily: HA

Lily: you boys are easy

Lily: can promise, no babies

Hayden: fucking hell 

Mitty: what's up then Lily?

Drapeau: yeah please 

JJ: 👀👀👀

Comeau: what's the secrettttt

Lily: Your captain is officially a well kept man

Hayden: ....did I really hit my head?

Comeau: OMG

Drapeau: FINALLY

Mitty: WOOHOO

JJ: FUCK YEAH

Lily: very exciting yes

Hayden: how'd it happens?

Lily: ha

Lily: his dad walked in on us

Lily: we had family dinner

Lily: I called him boyfriend 

Lily: happy night

Hayden: OH NO DAVID

Comeau: HOLY FUCK

Drapeau: awkwarddddd

Mitty: YIKES 

JJ: SHEESH

Lily: night night boys

Lily: boyfriend needs a good fuck before bed

Lily: good for sleep

Hayden: 😭😭

 

 

Chapter 13: Boston

Chapter Summary

Darling deaaarssss, our Boston's Boys did not forget that someone promised a timeline once it was official.

Chapter Notes

I ammmm homeeeeee

 

Babies, I see your comments while at work and have to refrain from cackling.

 

As we approach the "Discovery" I must pose the question, I have the ability and ideas to follow the cannon outing and reveal - minus the original dickhead metros cause I like my boys happy

 

or

I can spin a less traumatic, more fun way thats just for the chats and let them go public public in their own way. Potentially still using some aspects of the original plot line.

Hayden, Babe, we're looking at you.

 

Let me know ur opinionssss.

 

As always, much love, KISSES, MWAH MWAH.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

 

St-Simon: Janee

Marlow: Jannnnneeeeeee

Carmichael: Jannnieeee

Connors: let me boys

Connors: MOOOOMMMM

Jane: what 

Jane: who died

Jane: what's on fire

Connors: shit you really are a mom

Jane: Dude

Connors: 😊

Jane: smh

Jane: also Mick, call me that again

Jane: and you'll doing so many loops on the ice you'll wish you had no legs

Carmichael: uggghh fine

Carmichael: Connors calls you mom and its all cute

Connors: im fucking adorable

Marlow: debatable 

Connors: HEY

Jane: be nice to ur brother 

Marlow: girl

Jane: HA

St-Simon: what the fuck is wrong with all of you

St-Simon: seriously 

Jane: is someone actually dying

Jane: or am I being pestered 

Carmichael: pestered 

Marlow: you owe us

St-Simon: a timeline

Connors: of you and your boooyyyffrriieennddd

Jane: fuck

Jane: was hoping you'd forget that

St-Simon: never 

Marlow: nice try

Carmichael: pfft as if girl

Jane: ...sometimes I wonder Mick if your in a WAGs chat in disguise with the way you talk

Carmichael: yeah no argument there

Carmichael: its fun though 

Jane: whatever floats ur boat I guess

St-Simon: Jane

Jane: god fine

Jane: so the feelings bit, told you already, about two years being aware of it

Marlow: mmmhmm

Connors: yeeesss

Carmichael: go onnnn

Jane: I need to preface, we have known each other a long time

Jane: like a while

St-Simon: which translates to roughly when?

Marlow: specificssss

Jane: now listen

Jane: do not judge me

Connors: we'd never 

Carmichael: nothing you could say would make us judge you for this

Marlow: we promise 

St-Simon: go on

Jane: I met him back in 08'

Carmichael: except that

Marlow: Holy. Fuck.

Connors: you've known him longer then ANY of us and he's been here since his draft 

St-Simon: you've been dodging talking for real

St-Simon: since 2008?

Jane: well no

Jane: kinda

Jane: we just met in 08

Jane: stuff didnt really start till 2010

Jane: then the casual stuff started

Marlow: thats 7 years Jane

Connors: I can't process that

Carmichael: it took 7 years????

St-Simon: Jane are you okay?

Jane: yeah 

Jane: you just dont reallllyy think about the timeline

Jane: until someone asks

Carmichael: girl honest to god

Carmichael: thats fucking insane 

St-Simon: I think she knows that Mick

Jane: listen its not something so tragic and dramatic dude

Jane: we saw eachother a only a few times a year so it wasn't like I lived with the guy

Marlow: yeah okay in that view 

Jane: I was expecting more yelling 

Connors: no one is sad or upset rn?

Jane: no??

Connors: perfect

Connors: CAUSE HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Carmichael: ALMOST TEN FULL YEARS

Marlow: AND YOU ONLY JUST TALKED

Marlow: thats more unintentional commitment then most marriages 

St-Simon: Marleys got a point there

Jane: listennn

Jane: hes hot

Jane: and I wasn't exactly thinking with my frontal lobe

Carmichael: and Roz was 100% thinking with his dick for some of that

Jane: good grief please never tell him I told you

St-Simon: lips are sealeeedddd

Marlow: waaaitttt

Marlow: Janes officially a WAG

Carmichael: JANE IN THE WAG CHAT

Jane: this feels like a WAG chat

Connors: can we pass ur number to them?

Jane: no

Jane: we're not really telling people 

Jane: realllly on the down low

St-Simon: tell me this man is not telling you to stay a secret 

Jane: no! My work, um I'm in a really narrow minded job

Marlow: oh fuck off, they dont think a woman can have a boyfriend and be successful??

Connors: BOOO

Carmichael: thats fucked fucked

Jane: yeah something like that, just keeping it private for now

St-Simon: but you felt okay telling us?

Jane: ...I mean yeah

Jane: was I not meant too?

Marlow: fuck no no

Carmichael: its fucking cool

Connors: Mom no 😭

St-Simon: just hoping we didnt ya know

St-Simon: trample on your parade 

Jane: has anyone told you boys that you're sweet?

Connors: awwwhhh moooommm

Marlow: smh, this kid

Jane: xoxo 

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

 

- Jane Has Sent One Image Attachment - 

Jane: was anyone going to warn me about this man's socks?

Jane: anyone???

Marlow: oh god Rozzy

Connors: Dad no 😭

Carmichael: is that even still, you know, in one piece?

Jane: NO

Jane: ITS GOT MORE HOLES THEN A SPONGE

St-Simon: I love that we're acting like every man on this team doesnt have a pair like that

Jane: FOUL 

Jane: ALL OF YOU

Jane: IM BURNING IT

Marlow: AHAHAH 

Carmichael: is she actually going to burn it?

Jane: YES

- Jane Has Sent One Image Attachment - 

Jane: 🔥🙂

Connors: holy fuck

St-Simon: she's deadass got those socks over an open fire

Marlow: suddenly 

Marloe: Roz is not the scary one

Carmichael: RIP Caps balls

Carmichael: they're long gone by now

Connors: they're actually by the fire ☠️

Connors: and she sends a casual smile like its not crazy 

St-Simon: ...what did Roz say

Jane: he saved his precious "sock" 

Jane: for now anyway 

St-Simon: making a clean man out of Roz?

St-Simon: not happening 

Jane: hes gonna have to leave them Boston if he ever wants them safe

Jane: disgusting 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

- Jane and Cap -

 

Marlow: anyone else actually loving that Jane is full on showing us her personality with Roz

St-Simon: its sweet 

Connors: she seemed lonely 

Connors: very anxious aside from the dirty jokes 

Carmichael: and now she's trying to burn Cap's demon socks and is showing us photos

Marlow: such character growth 🥹

St-Simon: y'all 

St-Simon: look at her recent photo 

Carmichael: ...she fucking got them in the fire 🤣

Connors: oohhh Caps gonna be pissed 

Marlow: for like two seconds 

Marlow: hes a softie 

Carmichael: RIP his whore days, hes a kept man

Marlow: no one do anything 

Marlow: man is exactly where he wants to be

St-Simon: burnt socks and all

 

Chapter End Notes

I dont normally do end notes, I threw in the thing about the socks cause you cannot tell me Ilya is not the type to have some gross ass pair to wear at home and Shane just about screamed in fear of it.

Chapter 14: The Reveal Part I

Chapter Summary

May the odds be ever in your favour boys.

Cause the consensus was go for crack and fluff so no traumatic outings here but rest assured, chaos will ensue.

Chapter Notes

Hey sweethearts, I'm going to try and respond to comments from last chapter but there is over 120 of you so it might take a Minnie.

I'm sitting in my big girl job trying to not giggle at these comments. The love from them is beautiful and some of the things shared have me sniffly.

Sorry for no double update, this one took a bit to write and ya girl was going power speed.

Babies stay safe, this is part I of II for the reveal.

You are ilya saying gimme kiss and I am giving said kiss, so MWAH MWAH.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Jane Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Jane: new socks for this creature I call a boyfriend 

Jane: the rest were sacrificed with a cleansing ritual outside

Carmichael: Rozzy out here being cleaned up

Carmichael: and he cant even argue about it

Connors: RIP Dads ability to keep his gross laundry 

Carmichael: I have a wicked idea 

Marlow: thats never a good sentence

St-Simon: oh god what

Jane: ...what did I start?

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Jane: boys

Jane: what the fuck

Carmichael: HEHE

Connors: TEHE

Marlow: let the record show Jane

St-Simon: we were against it to begin with

Jane: yeah to begin with

- Jane Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Jane: wanna tell me why the fuck Ilya is telling me hes confused on why

Jane: his entire team

Jane: BOUGHT HIM NEW SOCKS

Connors: HEHEHE

Carmichael: come onnnn

St-Simon: its a little funny

Marlow: I swear to god hes never been so confused

Jane: if this links back to me

Jane: I will actually take you all out

Connors: for ice cream? 😊

Jane: for headstone shopping

Jane: you can pick your own

Connors: 😭

Carmichael: ☠️

Marlow: Ooft 

St-Simon: ouch

Jane: ....anyone get a video of him getting bombarded with socks?

Connors: I GOT A TIME LAPSE

Jane: this is why youre my favourite 

Carmichael: IT WAS MY IDEA

Marlow: officially the first lady of the bears is picking favourites 

Marlow: and it aint captain 

St-Simon: smh

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Connors: Mooooommmm

Jane: yes

Jane: what did you break

Connors: nothing

Carmichael: yet

Connors: snitch

Marlow: smh

St-Simon: never known peace

Connors: stfu

Connors: ANYWAY

Connors: cause u and cappy are finallllyyy together 

Jane: hmmm

Connors: can we potentially see what you look like OR something of you and cap

Carmichael: pleeaassseeeee

Marlow: Id say dont beg but im curious too

St-Simon: only if u want too

St-Simon: itd be cool

Jane: not of me specifically

Jane: but um, you'd wanna see photos of us?

Connors: yeah!! We wanna see Rozzy boy happy and obviously he is with you

Marlow: hes a softie at heart

Jane: okay give me a sec

Connors: OMG

Connors: 👀

Marlow: 👀

Carmichael: 👀

St-Simon: 👀

- Jane Has Sent Three Image Attachments -

Jane: the first one is him trying to navigate my kitchen, he was not impressed with where I put things

Marlow: okay one, what a fucking kitchen 

Marlow: two, LOOK AT HIS FACE

Carmichael: IS HE POUTING

Connors: CUTE 

St-Simon: im with Marlow, thats a cool ass kitchen 

Jane: thank you, I designed it!

Jane: I like my architecture 

St-Simon: I may call you when I do my house reno

Jane: Roger that

Jane: the second image is pretty self explanatory 

Jane: he fell asleep mid movie again

Carmichael: is he laying on you there?

Jane: yes

Connors: im gonna cry this is too cute

Jane: Last one, but that's um, that's him trying to explain cyrillic to me

St-Simon: are you learning Russian?

Jane: trying too, shits difficult 

Marlow: you're voluntarily learning his native language that is notoriously tricky?

Jane: have been for a little bit! 

Jane: was a surprise for him.

Carmichael: holy fuck

Carmichael: if that aint love, dont know what is

Connors: for real im teary

St-Simon: its nice to see him so loved

Jane: I do

Jane: love him that is

Marlow: 😭

Carmichael: 😭

St-Simon: 😭

Connors: 😭

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Jane Has Sent One Photo Attachment -

Jane: note to self

Jane: dont let Ilya be alone with paint, it will go everywhere 

Carmichael: how the fuck does that even happen

Jane: no idea

Marlow: brother in christ ☠️

Connors: is that paint in his eyebrow??

Jane: y u p

St-Simon: jesus christ 

Jane: RIP my fucking carpets 😭

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Carmichael Has Sent One Attachment -

Carmichael: texting ur man by any chance Jane?

Marlow: 👀

Connors: 👀

St-Simon: 👀

Jane: enjoy your game tonight boys

Jane: should do well with what I sent him xoxo

Carmichael: LEGENDARY ICON

Connors: AYEEEE

Marlow: I cant even saw gross cause it works

St-Simon: hes been classically conditioned with sexting ☠️☠️

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Jane: so um

Jane: I was talking with Ilya

Connors: HIIII

Carmichael: oh?

Marlow: 👀

St-Simon: go on

Jane: may have accidentally 

Jane: snitched on myself ☠️

Carmichael: OH?

St-Simon: go on 👀

Marlow: about what?

Connors: ...wait

Jane: ....the chat

Marlow: oh god

Carmichael: oh fuck

St-Simon: oh fuck me dead 

Connors: RIP us

Jane: im so sorry

Jane: it just kinda came out

Jane: he was responding to my Mom for me and well

Jane: he asked

St-Simon: im impressed we all kept it in that long

Connors: ...we have training tomorrow

Carmichael: F U C K

Marlow: oh god no

St-Simon: R I P  U S

Jane: sorry boys ☠️

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.- 

 

- Rozzy Has Created a New Chat - 

Rozzy: someone want to fucking explain to me

Rozzy: why you've had secret group text with Jane

Rozzy: for two fucking years 

Connors: WE'RE SORRY

Carmichael: DON'T KILL US PLS

Carmichael: LOTS TO LIVE FOR

Marlow: Cap we honest to god meant no harm

St-Simon: in hindsight we shouldn't have, it was an invasion of privacy 

Connors: MICK GOT THE NUMBER

Carmichael: DUDE

Carmichael: WHAT THE FUCK

Connors: IM SORRY

Marlow: talk about team loyalty 

St-Simon: ....cap?

Rozzy: I need to talk to him for a minute 

Rozzy: wait

Connors: oh hes so pissed that hes fucking up the pronouns again 😭

Carmichael: there is no saving us now

St-Simon: we will not survive this next training 

Marlow: hope you have your wills written boys

Connors: I'm too young to die 

St-Simon: Roz?

Marlow: we're sorry

Rozzy: shut up

Rozzy: if we tell you something 

Rozzy: can you promise to shut your mouths?

Connors: you and Jane??? Of course

Carmichael: we really fucking owe you but we would regardless 

Marlow: Roz is everything okay??

St-Simon: what's going on? 

Rozzy: Jane wants to tell you

Rozzy: say one bad thing

Rozzy: no team you get traded too will be far enough away to hide

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Jane: hey boys

Jane: you all okay?

Marlow: im shitting bricks

Connors: Mom can you tell dad we're sorry 😞 

Carmichael: he may actually kill us

St-Simon: he said you wanted to tell us something??

Jane: fuck, yeah, I do

Jane: shit this is more difficult then I thought

St-Simon: breathe and take your time

Marlow: what's up Jane?

Connors: we're all virtual ears

Carmichael: stuck with your four plus kids forever now

Jane: god I hope so

Jane: fuck this, okay I'm gonna show you a photo and I need you not to freak out

- Jane Has Shared One Image Attachment -

Jane: you said you wanted to know what I looked like/me with Ilya 

Marlow: youre not fucking with us right?

Carmichael: no joke?

Connors: honest to literal god?

St-Simon: fuck me dead boys

St-Simon: Shane, nice to see you

Jane: please dont be mad

Carmichael: oh god Shane, no

Connors: shocked yes, but fuck we cant be mad

Connors: have you seen how happy you make Cap??

St-Simon: we care because we love him 

St-Simon: care he can be himself 

St-Simon: not about who its with

Carmichael: you two must be tired of it, hiding 

Carmichael: youre safe with us 

Jane: This is Roz, Shane will be back in minute 

Jane: needs to blow his nose 

Connors: oh mom 😭

Connors: wait are you still okay with me calling you that 

Jane: I'm back

Jane: oh my god Connors, yes, its fine

Jane: if youre still okay with me

Connors: MOOOOMMMMM

Jane: 🙂

Jane: Marlow?

St-Simon: hang on

Connors: ???

Carmichael: ???

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

St-Simon: Shane

St-Simon: can you call Marley please 

Jane: is he okay?

St-Simon: hes realising when you "broke your phone" and not responding it was actually because you were recovering from the injury he caused 

Jane: oh fuck

Jane: brb

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Shane: dont you ever think like that again

Shane: or apologise 

Shane: got it?

Marlow: thank you for not hating me

Shane: never

Shane: now go text the chat before dumb and dumber have a conniption

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Carmichael: holy fuck

Carmichael: wanna know what I just realised 

Shane: what???

Carmichael: Shane Hollander is actually a getting sex freaky with our captain 

Carmichael: to get us out of training 

Shane: HA 

Marlow: oh my god

Marlow: we not only know about OUR captains sex life

Marlow: we know about the Voyagers captains sex life

Connors: holy shit

Carmichael: is bashing each other into the boards foreplay or something 

St-Simon: wtf is wrong with you Mick

Marlow: Shane???

Connors: could use a denial rn Mom

St-Simon: oh for fuck sakes

Shane: well I did promise no more lies

Shane: xoxo 😘 

Carmichael: NASTY 

Shane: works in your favour no?

Carmichael: AAHH

Connors: he aint wrong

Marlow: ☠️

St-Simon: you are all getting drug tested next time, fuck me dead.

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Rozzy: you made him happy

Rozzy: will not kill you

Rozzy: but you will do sit ups for as long as I say

Rozzy: for stupid chat

Rozzy: 😘

Marlow: ☠️

Connors: ☠️

St-Simon: ☠️

Carmichael: ☠️

Chapter End Notes

End notes are also fun.... sorry for the spliting of parts... kinda 😉.

 

I went soooo far OCC and off plot for this, but to me, this is what I wished they got.

Chapter 15: The Reveal Part II

Chapter Summary

Reveal Part II

Now I need to give a warning here, this is the lesser crack part of the fic because while they are OCC, Shane is scared of telling his team. That's a bit I can't change, its deep routed in his character.

As promised, I am not leading you astray, I have some angst planned but I promise you, these boys aren't getting anything but love.

But its not ignorance or insults, its being scared of an outcome you didn't know was possible.

(Ilya does get to give a good threatening spiel though dont worry)

Shane is a character I could pull apart on so many levels and relate too.

They are special to me, as I know they are to you.
I am privileged to share my special with yours.

How beautiful hey? (Wont lie, had my little playlist for this fic going and I got teary)

Chapter Notes

BABIES

YOUR COMMENTS - I LAUGH, THEN CRY, THEN LAUGH AGAIN.

 

I wasn't sure I'd get this out today BUT I am caffeinated, I have downed another massive bowl of ramen and I LOVE YOU.

MWAH MWAH.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Comeau: BOSTON IS GOING DOOOWWNN

Drapeau: 🥳🥳🥳

JJ: SEND EM PACKING

Hayden: GAME DAY GAME DAY GAME DAY

Mitty: Lily is sitting here all quiet rn

Lily: Lily is thinking that she gets to fuck your captain happy REGARDLESS of game

Lily: unfortunately for you

Lily: you do not

Drapeau: YUCK

Comeau: THATS LIKE INCESTY 

JJ: CAPTAIN IS A BROTHER

Mitty: Ew

Hayden: fucking hell Lily

Hayden: one day

Hayden: all I ask for, to not hear that you fuck my best friend

Lily: hmmm

Lily: no

Lily: have a good loss boysss

Drapeau: BOOO BOSTON FAN

Comeau: BOOOO

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Lily: how did that loss feel boys

Hayden: shut upppp

Drapeau: dont be so smug

Comeau: you were getting laid regardless 😭

Mitty: my back hurtsss

Lily: use deep heat and lay down Mitty

Mitty: okeeyyy 🫡🫡 

Hayden: yet when I complain 

Lily: Your wife birthed all four kids

Lily: you can deal

Hayden: fair point 

JJ: even though we lost

JJ: Captain could not hide his happy little run into the showers to get out of here quicker 

Hayden: yeah hes moving quickly 

Hayden: oh fuck

Drapeau: Hayden you fucking idiot 

Mitty: oh we're fucked

Comeau: Lily heads up

JJ: captain knows 

Lily: about chat?

Lily: fuckkk

Lily: HOW

Mitty: SHANE SAW THE NOTIFICATIONS ON HIS SCREEN

MITTY: AND HAYDEN DIDNT SEE HIM LOOKING WHEN HE OPENED THE CHAT TO RESPOND 

Hayden: DID NO ONE WANT TO STOP HIM SMACKING ME

Mitty: TOO BUSY RUNNING FOR IT PIKE

Drapeau: SNOOZE YOU LOOSE

Comeau: HES FUCKING TAILING ME

JJ: RUN BOYS RUN

Mitty: IM LOCKING CAR DOORS

Hayden: LEG IT FASTER YOU DICKHEAD 

Lily: oh you are sooo fucked

Lily: wait

Lily: ...so am I

Hayden: HA YOURE SCREWED TOO LILY

Drapeau: NO POST GAME LAY FOR YOU 

Comeau: HOW DOES HE MOVE SO QUICK EVEN POST GAME

Mitty: WHO KNOWS

Mitty: JJ MOVE QUICKER OR IM LEAVING WITHOUT YOU

JJ: WAIT HES LOOKING FOR ME

JJ: IM HIDING BEHIND A WALL

JJ: MAKING BREAK FOR IT

Lily: he is calling me

Lily: RIP my ass boys 

Hayden: AAAHHH

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: Lily... did you survive?

Mitty: my fucking legs hurt 😭

Drapeau: YOUR LEGS? MY EAR HURTS, HE FLICKED ME

Hayden: HE SMACKED ME

Comeau: I dont think I've ever seen him move so quickly

JJ: like a fucking demon

Lily: I live

Lily: I got my full government name

Lily: but still very good post game sex

Lily: I win 

Hayden: GROSS GROSS GROSS

Drapeau: fucking heelllll

Comeau: cant even say its unexpected now

Mitty: everything is foreplay to them

JJ: 🤢🤢🤢

Lily: MWAH

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Lily: what the fuck did you do

Hayden: fuck we're so sorry

Comeau: is he with you?

Drapeau: please fucking say he drove to you and not into some fucking ditch 

Lily: What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Do.

JJ: we were messing around 

Mitty: Rozanov please 

Mitty: Did Shane come to you or not 

Lily: How 

Mitty: we were messing around

Drapeau: Shanes phone was unlocked

Drapeau: we went to spam you with photos now he knew about about the chat

Comeau: we saw youre name

JJ: we put it together 

JJ: and asked

Lily: did you fucking go off on him for this??

Lily: were you such dickheads he drove to me sobbing 

Lily: hes having a fucking panic attack on couch

Lily: I ask one more time

Lily: what did you do

Drapeau: we thought it was a joke for like one minute 

Comeau: then we saw his face

Comeau: fuck it was like a dear in the headlights 

Hayden: Rozanov is he laying down or sitting 

Hayden: he cant breathe if hes laying down

Lily: I fucking know how to help him Pike 

Mitty: we didnt say anything 

Mitty: thats what we did wrong 

Mitty: we stared in shock and then he was out the door 

Hayden: I wish I had gotten to his fucking keys before he did

Hayden: just fucking lucky you're off this week and here

Lily: you promise me, you said nothing to him 

Lily: you dont want to send him out?

Hayden: oh god no

Comeau: we love Shane

Drapeau: this changes nothing we promise 

JJ: he is captain, our friend 

Mitty: please tell him that

Lily: I will when he stops crying 

Lily: if he tells me you're lying

Hayden: I'll let you into the locker room to deck us

Hayden: I swear it

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Ilya: if you insult him, make him cry, out him or even so much as look funny

Ilya: entire bears roster will make a drive

Hayden: wait your team knows?

Mitty: ..how long have they known?

Ilya: couple of weeks, turns out Shane got added to a similar chat by them too

Mitty: oh

JJ: he did not trust us...

Drapeau: fuck how bad did we let him down

Comeau: hes never been very open but

Hayden: fuck Shane

Mitty: wait so when Scott Hunter came out

Comeau: oh fuck thats why you grilled us

Drapeau: Shane couldve used any fucking leeway if we had just been notably supportive 

Drapeau: but we're fucking stupid and didn't do shit

JJ: is this why he looked so sad?

Mitty: oh Shane

Ilya: he had hoped you could talk

Ilya: but it never came up in way he could 

Ilya: not directly your fault 

Drapeau: is he okay?

Ilya: hes fucking terrified 

Hayden: hang on

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: you didn't want to tell me?

Hayden: wait no, fuck

Hayden: I'm not mad I promise, just at myself

Shane: im sorry 

Shane: please dont blame yourself, it just wasn't safe

Hayden: no I am angry at myself, because you didn't feel safe Shane

Hayden: that's fault on me, on the team

Hayden: you did everything so right for this place 

Hayden: and we couldn't even give you a safe space to say hey I love someone 

Hayden: fuck can I come over 

Hayden: I need to apologise to your face 

Shane: I'm all snotty but yes

Hayden: I've got four kids bro, you were my practise child if anything

Hayden: we love you and all your snot 

Shane: he is snotty again

Shane: door is open 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Mitty: Ilya, how's Shane?

Drapeau: we sent messages but dont wanna overwhelm him

Drapeau: again 

Comeau: Im pretty sure Hayden came over, did it go okay?

JJ: ...Rozanov?

Ilya: hi, yes sorry

Ilya: Shane is sleeping 

Ilya: so is Pike

Drapeau: oh thank god that went okay

Comeau: can we see? Please

Comeau: I dont think I can sleep with the image my heads come up with 

JJ: me too 😞

- Ilya Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Ilya: comfy on couch

Ilya: they talked, very snotty but okay

Ilya: my threat still stands 

JJ: of course 

Drapeau: we'll make it up to him

Comeau: we promise 

Mitty: Ilya?

Ilya: yes?

Mitty: give him a hug for us?

Ilya: ...wait till hes okay to give the okay

Ilya: you can give one yourself

JJ: He'd be okay with seeing us?

Drapeau: fuck im not cuddly but I will attach myself to his ankle at this point 

Comeau: I dibs the other ankle 

Ilya: 🤨

Ilya: you mind hands 

Ilya: I will ask when he wakes

Mitty: 🙂

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Marlow: Roz told us what happened Shane

Connors: are you okay?

Carmichael: I've got a rental bus on standby, we'll leg it to Montreal 

St-Simon: luck of having a to go bag

Shane: this is Roz

Shane: he is snotty again, wait 

Shane: sorry boys, just um

Shane: thank you

Connors: is it appropriate to ask if when we get to meet you officially I can give you a cuddle

Shane: yes I would accept a hug

Carmichael: DOG PILE

Shane: oh dear lord

Marlow: team sleep over at the Hollanov house?

Shane: the fuckin what house

Connors: Hollanov!

Carmichael: ship name for you and rozzy

Shane: boys stay off the internet 

Shane: please 

St-Simon: never 

 

Chapter End Notes

Also I have a little surprise coming up soon - hehehehe

 

Can't wait to see what you think of my surprise.

Chapter 16: Boston

Chapter Summary

Tiny filler chapter now everyone is aware of everyone.

Part one of my surprise wi be up soon!

(Yes there is multiple parts and yes I'm worried you won't like it but HAHHA oh well)

Chapter Notes

In true Australia fashion... im awake cause there's a fucking huntsman spider on my fucking bedroom wall right where I sleep....

Im watching you, fucking demon.

But I feel bad killing it so its a stand off.

I will loose.

 

KISSES, MWAH

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- the boys -

Rozzy: Listen up

Marlow: 🫡

Carmichael: 🫡

Connors: 🫡

St-Simon: 🫡

Rozzy: Shane is going to text you soon with a question 

Rozzy: you will be nice

Rozzy: if he comes back anxious

Rozzy: I will make you regret 

Rozzy: yes?

Marlow: got it Cap

Carmichael: Roger that cap

Connors: understood 

St-Simon: noted.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Shane: So

Shane: I had a question 

Connors: hi moooommmm

Shane: hi Connor 

Shane: did you end up getting that book I gave to Ilya?

Connors: yesssss, thank you

Connors: I was gonna buy it but the shipping was gonna take 600 years cause of travel 😭

Shane: no problems :)

St-Simon: what was your question?

Shane: RIGHT

Shane: um

Marlow: all okay dude?

Carmichael: IM IN ATTENDANCE 

Shane: okay okay good everyone's here

Shane: would you, by chance 

Shane: say no if you want too

Shane: I mean I'd like you to agree but I dont want you to feel pressured 

Connors: mom

St-Simon: Shane

Marlow: Shane

Carmichael: Shane

Shane: yes?

St-Simon: ask away yeah?

Shane: right

Shane: would you, potentially, feel up to coming to Ilyas the night after ur next game?

Shane: I have a bi week so I'll be ya know in town

Shane: for like dinner 

Shane: but again if you have plans or dont want too or aren't feeling up to it

Connors: DINNER AT THE PARENTS HOUSE 

Carmichael: oh hell yes

Marlow: fuck yeah

St-Simon: sounds awesome

Shane: wait really?

Shane: you'd want too?

Connors: on god, of course 

St-Simon: we'd like to meet you properly 

Shane: but we've met before?

Marlow: sweet summer child

Carmichael: we've met you as Hollander, Captain of the Voyagers, absolute beast on the iced

St-Simon: not as Ilyas Shane 

St-Simon: not as you, your regular self, off the ice

Connors: we've been trying

Carmichael: aka bugging 

Connors: Rozzy to organise this 🥳

Shane: oh

Shane: well 

Shane: yay

Connors: what should we bring?

Shane: huh?

St-Simon: for dinner

Shane: ohh, well yourselves 

Marlow: has anyone ever said you're sweet Hollander?

Shane: ...maybe

St-Simon: we can bring like a salad or

Shane: OH

Shane: Ilya would be better to ask

Shane: I'll tell him to text you 

Connors: I'm so excited holy shit

Carmichael: see y'all next weekend

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Rozzy: good boys

Marlow: should I be relieved or grossed out by that

Carmichael: relieved 

Connors: ^^^

St-Simon: both is agreeable 

Rozzy: 😉

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Rozzy: p.s., Shane prefers ginger ale over alcohol 

Marlow: 🫡

Connors: 🫡

Carmichael: 🫡

St-Simon: 🫡

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Shane: Ilya just informed me he did not specify a time

Shane: any time after 5:30pm is good to arrive from

St-Simon: how he is anywhere on time

St-Simon: is beyond me

Connors: notoriously does not have a watch

Shane: your telling me

Shane: I bought him an alarm clock for this reason 

Marlow: someone has to keep your man in check 

Carmichael: yet I'm late and its end of the worllddd

Connors: yeah cause your later is like end of practise just came around 

Carmichael: it was one time 😭

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Connors: I had a question 

Shane: fire away

Connors: ...hypothetically, could I pinch ur couch?

Connors: I just realised Cap and I actually live a small drive apart 

Shane: of course!

Shane: pls don't drive uncomfortable 

Shane: did you need a lift or?

Connors: all good to get there! 

Connors: thanks momm

Shane: :)

Carmichael: no fair, I wanna crash at the Hollanov house too

Shane: seriously stay off the internet would you

Shane: youre all welcome to stay 

Marlow: really?

St-Simon: 👀

Marlow: HOLLANOV SLEEP OVER

Shane: cancelling dinner

Connors: NOOOO

Shane: smh, yes you're all welcome to stay,  but PLEASE stop saying Hollanov 

Shane: Ilya wont shut up about it

Marlow: 😉

St-Simon: is Rozzy all good with us staying?

Shane: he can deal 

St-Simon: ☠️

Shane: I basically live there part time

Shane: so

Marlow: ayeee Shanes got Cap on a leash 

Shane: huh?

Carmichael: WALK HIM LIKE A DOG SHANEY

Shane: Dude what are you on

Connors: he means Ilya is that down bad you could say jump and hes already 10 feet in the air 

Shane: you all confuse me sometimes 

St-Simon: ignore them 

St-Simon: see you idiots in a bit 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Rozzy: you all looked stupid on my couch

Rozzy: but you made Shane happy

Rozzy: so thank you

- Rozzy Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Connors: we're fucking cute

Carmichael: awwhh look at us all comfy on Rozzys couch

Marlow: Shane fully decked out the living room

St-Simon: your boy is a good one Roz

Rozzy: I know

Rozzy: also Connors

Connors: ?

Rozzy: we will talk about calling Shane Mom another time

Connors: ☠️

St-Simon: ☠️

Marlow: ☠️

Carmichael: ☠️

Marlow: told you he'd mention it 

Connors: shut the fuck up

 

 

 

Chapter End Notes

P.s. I lost track of the spider, then found it, its gotten closer to me, I might burn the house down

Chapter 17: Montreal

Chapter Summary

Right-o

Montreal Meet Ilya
Ilya Meet Montreal

Play nice.

Chapter Notes

Spider update: woke up and he was on the roof, directly above my head, for who knows how long.

Action taken: screamed, did not move him.

Potential action: consider if it is a foe or friend who just wants to read the fanfics too - highly possible, if he proof reads my chapters, he can stay

I have dubbed him spider-nov cause he can be a pain in my ass but hes kinda cute.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

 

Mitty: are you like pressed on us not calling you Ilya or do you prefer Rozanov?

Ilya: you can call me Ilya 

Hayden: wait really?

Drapeau: did not expect that

Ilya: I meant Mitty

Mitty: HA

Mitty: suck it boys

Mitty: I'm the favourite

Ilya: well you're my favourite 

Ilya: pretty sure Connors has dibs on Shane

Hayden: aye?

Hayden: hes MY best friend??

Ilya: 😉

Comeau: still an ass I see

Ilya: still single I see

Drapeau: you walked into that one 

Comeau: ☠️

JJ: how do we go about this 

JJ: is still a little different now we know its you and not a girl 

Ilya: you do not change a thing around Shane 

Ilya: got me?

JJ: ofc dude that's a given

Mitty: I cannot make him cry again

Mitty: I'd keel over

Ilya: he loves you, do not stress 

Ilya: rest of you fight for least favourite children sometimes 

Hayden: OI

Hayden: he was essentially Jacks and I's practise kid

Ilya: oh so youre a grandfather now then?

Hayden: pardon

Comeau: huh

Drapeau: YOU HAVE A KID

JJ: AYE

Mitty: 👀

Ilya: HA

Ilya: so stupid

Ilya: my team essentially see him as parent

Hayden: jesus fucking christ 

Hayden: dont scare me like that

Ilya: not my fault you scare easy Pike

Hayden: 🖕🏻

Mitty: god help us

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya Has Sent One Image Attachment-

Ilya: see

Ilya: they love him

Hayden: ...I want to be mad about this

Hayden: but oh my god hes socialising

Drapeau: oh my god he can host

Comeau: hes been holding out on ussss

JJ: when do WE get to come over

Mitty: ☹️

Ilya: next time

Ilya: was a lot for him to organise this 

Mitty: true 

Mitty: last time someone suggest he host a team dinner

Hayden: he went white as a ghost 

Drapeau: nearly puked 

Comeau: a final scares him less

JJ: he is strange boy

JJ: but a lovable one

Hayden: but seriously 

Hayden: when do we get to come over 

Ilya: When Shane wants to 

Ilya: youre loud 

Drapeau: what if we promised to be calm

Ilya: he would die from awkward

Ilya: he wants you to be yourself

Ilya: but he is overwhelmed

Comeau: never did I think Ilya Rozanov would be telling us how to interact with Holzy

Drapeau: yet here we are 

JJ: twilight zone 

Mitty: whenever hes ready 🙂

Ilya: this why youre the favourite 

Hayden: HEY

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Ilya: if you overreact and worry him

Ilya: bad things 

Hayden: huh

Drapeau: not this again

Comeau: ☠️

JJ: 🫡

Mitty: got it

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Shane: Im sorry it's taken so long 

Shane: but I was hoping to have you over this weekend for dinner 

Shane: with Ilya...

Hayden: will be there!

Drapeau: dinner at Holzyyyyysssss

Comeau: fuck yeaahhh

JJ: we've done it boys

JJ: Holzy is hostinggg

Mitty: dont fucking spook him

Shane: im not a fucking deer??

Hayden: buddy

Hayden: 🤨

Shane: okay fine

Shane: I'm a bit anxious 

Shane: fine a lot dont even start 

Drapeau: youre fine bro

Comeau: what timmmeeeee

Shane: 6pm

JJ: we'll bring a nice wine 

Mitty: and a ginger ale

Shane: 🙂

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden: Rozanov 

Ilya: Pike

Hayden: killing me here but

Hayden: Thank you

Ilya: not that I'm going to refuse thanks

Ilya: but why? 

Comeau: for taking care of Shane 

Drapeau: we all were kinda worried he'd be alone 

JJ: hockey is his life, sometimes too much

Mitty: everyone had something to go too 

Hayden: other then his parents, sometimes it just seemed he was on his own

Ilya: how you mean?

Ilya: he talked to you yes?

Hayden: yeah of course 

Hayden: always came to ours, hes my kids god father for christ sakes 

Drapeau: but there was this gap

Mitty: just a bit of a wall 

Comeau: maybe it was cause he was hiding this part of his life or something 

JJ: we felt like we missed him

Ilya: oh

Ilya: and this is my fault?

Hayden: no fuck

Hayden: we do really suck at this 

Mitty: we're thanking you 

Mitty: cause we know now he wasnt on his own for most of it

Mitty: regardless of whatever it was 

Ilya: oh

Ilya: well um

Hayden: didnt think you'd ever be speechless 

Ilya: fuck u Pike 

Hayden: there he is

Ilya: promise though 

Comeau: ??

Ilya: will always look after him

Drapeau: good 

Mitty: all we ask for 

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Mitty: question 

Mitty: what did you mean when you said Connors has dibs on Shane?

Drapeau: I was wondering this too

Comeau: yeah curious 

JJ: you said they see him like parent 

Hayden: yeah how does that work??

Ilya: ...well

Ilya: When Mom and Dad love each other very much

Hayden: OH MY FUCKING GOD SHUT UP

Drapeau: NOT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

Drapeau: or would it just be the bees? 

Mitty: UM PARDON

Comeau: IVE HEARD THIS BEFORE NOT FROM YOU THANKS

JJ: HOW IS THAT RELEVANT 

Ilya: HAHA

Ilya: still so sensitive 

Ilya: when they thought Shane was a girl

Hayden: oh you pulled that to your team too then 

Ilya: yes pay attention 

Ilya: Connors had taken for some unknown reason to calling "Jane" Mom as a joke

Ilya: no longer Joke

Ilya: he imprinted on Shane like baby duck

Ilya: quack quack 🦆

Hayden: I dont know if thats concerning or the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard 

Ilya: quite cute 

Mitty: He'd kill us if we called him that

Comeau: swiftly and cleanly 

Drapeau: He'd get away with it

JJ: then feel bad and confess 

Hayden: cause hes a sweetheart 

Ilya: 🤨

Ilya: sometimes I wonder if you were not married Pike

Ilya: that'd you'd kiss my boyfriend 

Hayden: something is wrong wrong with your head

Comeau: aye look if I had to kiss a guy Holzy isn't a bad option 

Drapeau: still feels incesty 

Ilya: I will off you and not feel bad 

Comeau: ☠️

Mitty: Shane is kinda parental 

JJ: He'd be a good dad

Ilya: agreed 

Hayden: 👀

JJ: 👀

Mitty: 👀

Comeau: 👀

Drapeau: 👀

Ilya: again

Ilya: one response and you think someone is pregnant 

Hayden: ☠️

Drapeau: listen

Comeau: we have no arguments here

Mitty: we did react like that before 

JJ: is it too late to blame our many concussions 

Ilya: yes

Ilya: you just stupid 

Ilya: minus Mitty

Hayden: i give uP

Mitty: 😊

 

Chapter End Notes

I try my best not to show favouritism between the chapter distribution between teams cause I want everyone to get along but Shane and the Bears is just good man.

Soz Montreal boys, but to be fair, the only reason I like you rn is cause I'm the one writing you - your official counterparts are wankers xoxo

Chapter 18: Boston Meet Montreal, Montreal Meet Boston

Chapter Summary

A well requested and or predicted part of the surprise, but there's multiple parts of my plans so please enjoy!

 

😉

Chapter Notes

I must start off, this fic got over 100k hits the other day, while I was at work and I got fucking teary because pardon me? 😭

I love you all so so much, y'all mean the world to me!

 

Spider-nov update: went to bed with him slighty down the wall nead my head, woke up and hes gone.

Cannot find him anywhere, not sure I wanna look too hard.

I cant even say I won this stand off cause Where. Did. He. Go.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- The Children - 

 

- Ilya Has Added Nine Participants -

Ilya: talk

Ilya: behave

Ilya: don't stress Shane out

Hayden: what the fuck is this

Connors: did he do to us

JJ: whay we did to them

Carmichael: appears so yep

Marlow: ...well hi I guess 

Drapeau: sup

Comeau: 👋 

Mitty: so 

St-Simon: the fuck are we meant to talk about 

Connors: the parents?

Hayden: so you actually call Shane Mom??

Connors: yes

Connors: judge me at ur own risk 

Connors: I know where I sit on the favourite scale

Mitty: I think you and I are gonna get along 

Connors: 👀

Comeau: well there's a dangerous mix

Carmichael: fucking hell

Drapeau: so again, what was the point of this??

JJ: who knows 

Marlow: pack bonding cause our captains have been doing the nasty for so long that we are essentially a blended family??

Hayden: yeah that sums it up

Hayden: wait do you KNOW how long they've been together?

St-Simon: you dont???

Mitty: did we really scare him that much?

Drapeau: fuck

Hayden: okay so team apology, take 3

Comeau: jesus christ 

JJ: maybe we send gift basket 

Carmichael: how the fuck has neither of them told you?

Connors: to be fair we did have to bug the shit out of him for it

Marlow: a true point

St-Simon: not our story to tell boys 

Hayden: oh come on

St-Simon: hes your best friend and he wont tell you the timeline of his relationship?

St-Simon: you wanna start on that right now?

Hayden: ...right

Marlow: anyWAY

Marlow: anyone else about to die at another sex story?

Comeau: dont complain 

Drapeau: we get Rozanov's version of events 

JJ: he is blunt 

Mitty: a bit gross

Carmichael: good grief you've never had Shane make a sex joke about Roz then

Marlow: shits foul

Hayden: none of you can complain

Hayden: about anything 

JJ: HAHA OH YEAH

St-Simon: what?

Comeau: wanna explain Hayden 

Hayden: 😭☠️

Mitty: Hayden was stupid, called Shane will he was at his cottage and copped an earful of him getting head from Rozanov 

Marlow: NO

Connors: FUCK OFF

St-Simon: those foul mother fuckers

Carmichael: I'd take my own eardrums out

Hayden: I need therapy 

Connors: wait guys

Connors: was this chat to make us play nice

Connors: or

Mitty: a distraction so we'd leave the other chats alone so they could fuck in peace? 

Mitty: yeah I worked that out when he added us in

Hayden: FOR FUCK SAKES

Marlow: oh jesus christ

Comeau: DOGS

Drapeau: nastyyyyy

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Marlow: hypothetically 

Carmichael: 👀

Connors: 👀

St-Simon: 👀

Hayden: 👀

JJ: 👀

Comeau: 👀

Drapeau: 👀

Mitty: 👀

Marlow: we use this chat to bug the fuck out of Roz into organising a COMBINED teams dinner

Hayden: Marlow you fucking genius 

Ilya: me again 

Ilya: no 

Ilya: kisses 

Hayden: FUCK SAKES

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Connors: Mitty and I have discovered something

Mitty: quite the fun fact

Carmichael: ah fuck they're connecting

Hayden: about to be chaos 

St-Simon: what did you figure out?

Marlow: Im intrigued 

Drapeau: do spill

Mitty: Roz and Shanes relationship 

Connors: Had predated One Directions formation and has lasted past their break up

Mitty: Hiatus 

Connors: brother its been nearly three years

Mitty: shhh

Marlow: not what I expected im gonna be honest 

Comeau: what drugs did you take

JJ: no they got a point

Hayden: what fucking point is there from that

Connors: we made a playlist :)

Mitty: its pretty good :)

Hayden: something is very wrong with you

Ilya: you leave them alone

Ilya: and send playlist please 😊

Connors: okie dokieeee

Mitty: link is sent

St-Simon: how has anyone in this fucking chat passed a drug tested

Hayden: who fucking knows

Drapeau: pure dumb luck

Comeau: good grief 

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

 

Marlow: I have wondered, why isn't Shane in this chat too

Comeau: cause he spooks like a baby deer

Drapeau: terrified child

Mitty: runs for the hills

JJ: scary on ice, scared off of it

Carmichael: jesus go for the neck why dont you

St-Simon: hes not that jumpy 

Hayden: I tried to bring up the Rose incident once and he booked it from the room

Connors: ooft

St-Simon: he's just a bit awkward 

Marlow: unless hes talking about Roz

Carmichael: doesnt shut up then

Mitty: I got him talking about Roz once, I dont think hes ever said so many words in one conversation not Hockey related 

Mitty: an odd bus trip lemme tell you

Hayden: He's a sweet dude, sometimes a bit oblivious but you know, can't fault him

St-Simon: does he know you call him a baby deer 

Comeau: yes

Drapeau: yes

Mitty: yep yep 

JJ: is his contact name

Hayden: hes very aware 

Connors: dont be mean to mom :(

Mitty: hes called himself a baby deer dont worry Connor 

Mitty: we wouldn't if he found it offensive 

Connors: :)

Mitty: :)

Marlow: I wonder if they talk about us like we're actually their kids

Marlow: or at minimum those two

Marlow: cause fuck we play into it

Connors: I'm telling you, if you just causally called him mom he wouldnt blink 

Drapeau: sometimes I wondered if he does blink 

Comeau: he stares off into space sometimes 

Mitty: if he looks blank, watch your ass

Hayden: usually means a new drill is on the way and its RIP the thighs 

JJ: captain is scary when focused 

St-Simon: did he tell you what he did to Rozzy's socks?

JJ: 👀

Comeau: 👀

Drapeau: this isn't a sex story is it?

Carmichael: GROSS 

Marlow: nah dude

Marlow: this shits funny ☠️

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Hayden Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Hayden: someone come get this boy, he is blushing 

Marlow: awwwhh look at him

- Connors Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Connors: someone else is looking mighty fond atm too 👀 

Carmichael: HA 

Drapeau: I didnt know Rozanov was capable of looking so fond

Comeau: I gotta admit that's adorable wtf

JJ: sweet 

Mitty: awwhh

St-Simon: they compliment eachother 

St-Simon: its nice to see

Connors: have a good game Mittyyyyy

Mitty: thankk youuuuuu

Comeau: and the rest of us?

Connors: boooo

Drapeau: daaamnnn

Hayden: even the favourites have favourites

St-Simon: common thing 

Marlow: figures 

Chapter End Notes

My weary old directioner heart had it pointed out to me they did indeed start seeing eachother before 1D was a thing and long after they weren't so I had to include AHAHA.

Chapter 19: Text Chats Meet Phone Calls?

Chapter Summary

I mean some conversations HAD to be over the phone yes? Well, guess we get to see those too 😉
(Plus one live moment cause its too golden)

 

Here is the second part to my surprise plans - moments in time that were verbal conversations.

A slight timeline detour as we revisit some moments.

Chapter Notes

Now this isn't text format, im not changing my main format to this but it was fun and different. Please let me know if it sucks though HAHA.

 

This is coming out a wee bit earlier then planned cause I saw this fucking adorable comment about two friends reading this fic together and how can I not provide.

 

As always sweet loves, MWAH I GIVE KISS.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Connors bit the tip of his tongue while balancing his phone precariously in his locker. Side stepping quickly, he could see that his Captain would be right in frame for their little surprise.

"Hey Captain!" Marlow called out, sing-song tone sweet and giggly. "We have a small surprise!"

Ilya looked up from his phone and squinted at his players. The usual face of what the fuck.

"Yes?" 

Carmichael produced the first pair of socks.

"You know, just in case you needed a new set!" Mick said cheerily, shoving the pair into the Captains lap and moving out of grabbing distance.

Marlow was next in line, dropping a decorative pair in the mans lap. These ones had the Bears logo on them.

"What the fuck is this?" Ilya asked, confused and contemplating if his team got a collective concussion last game. "Did you hit heads?"

Connors all but skipped over to give his pair of socks over, these ones had little ducks on them and were sky blue.

Eventually the whole Bears roster had handed over a different pair to the Captain who looked more and more like he was wanting to quit and go home.

"There is something wrong with each of you." He said, accent thick.

Connors grabbed his phone and made for his escape to the carpark. Not wanting to risk Ilya deciding his new sets of socks were handy missiles.

Ilya however sat confused, now piled under multiple sets of socks, phone in hand.

He pulled up his texts with Shane, unable to stop the soft smile pulling at his lips.

Lily: something is wrong with my team

Jane: huh??

Lily: they all bought me socks??

Jane: eh?

Lily: socks Hollander, like the ones you wrongfully executed 

Jane: you mean rightfully disposed of

Lily: ☹️

Jane: they were disgusting Ilya

Jane: but when you say they ALL bought you socks?

Lily: I mean look

- Lily Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Jane: ...jesus

Lily: very confused 

Jane: yeah, so strange 

Jane: sorry brb

Lily: will call me when you get home yes?

Jane: of course xx

Lily: xx

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Marlow felt like he was either going to be violently sick or pass out.

Jane was Shane.

Shane had been Jane the whole time.

When Jane had 'broken' her phone and been off-line, it was actually Shane recovering from his injury.

The one Marlow fucking caused.

Fuck.

His phone buzzed insistently from the chat. He wanted to reassure Shane, nothing was the matter with this.

He just couldn't get the feeling of colliding with the man out of his head.

He could've permanently injured him.

His phone buzzed again, but not from a text, but an incoming call.

- Jane - 

Oh fuck him. Fuck the whole thing.

Against his better judgement, Marlow answered.

"Hello?" Marlow felt his voice crack as he spoke.

"Vincent said you'd be freaking out." Shane fucking Hollanders voice carried through the phone, soft and unsure. "Are you?"

"Kinda."

"But why?" 

Was he playing dumb or just unaware why Marlow felt like he needed to headbutt a wall.

"Because I could've broken your back Hollander." Marlow croaked, "or worse."

"Hey," Shane interjected softly, "that didn't happen."

Marlow wanted to scream, "but what if it did? And I seriously hurt the one person my friend seriously loves. I hurt you."

A huff came through the phone and Marlow could hear Shane moving around.

"Hollander?"

"Answer me honestly here, did you skate into me with full intention of making me eat shit?"

"Fuck no!" Marlow yelped.

"There you go then." Shane said back, again in this soft tone. "No harm done."

"I broke your collarbone." Marlow whispered, "I felt awful enough when I heard but now knowing everything, I just can't help but think you should hate me. Why don't you hate me?"

Shane let him finish his ramble before sighing, "inherently, its dangerous to play hockey. Everyone gets whacked around eventually."

"But I-"

"Cliff Marlow, shut the fuck up."

Marlow couldn't help but snap his mouth closed. 

"I don't hate you, I was terrified you'd hate me." Shane admitted, nibbling on his lip, "but assuming that you don't-"

"Fuck no."

"My point stands then, don't let this eat at you alright? Ilya will tell me if you do, then I'll have to get him to give you a lecture and that's a horrid punishment aye?"

Marlow laughed weakly, to hell with it all, Shane really did sound like a Mom.

"Thank you." 

"Anytime Marlow. Now go shower, you probably smell." 

"Oi!" 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

"Hey captain!" Vincent called out, "phones ringing."

Ilya turned from his conversations with Mick to shuffle over.

The smile that the captain out on told everyone around him who was calling.

"Put him on speaker!" Connors called out as Ilya went to answer the phone.

A collective agreement sung out as Ilya waved at them. There was this giddy feeling in his chest, that his team would accept this so openly.

He could love Shane this openly.

Ilya put the phone on speaker and immediately regretted his life's choices.

"Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov." A very annoyed sounding Shane came through the speaker, "what the literal hell!"

The locker room went silent and Ilya thought he might have a stroke.

Full government name.

Ilya checked the insistently buzzing chat because obviously something had gone wrong.

Fucking Hayden Pike and his stupid ass.

"Listen, I can explain." Ilya laughed nervously, watching as his team shuffled closer in curiosity, despite him going to wave them off. "I was going to tell you."

"Tell me! Tell me you had the same chat with my own team!" Shane huffed out. "You just about burst a blood vessel when you saw mine!"

The locker room was suddenly very very loud again. His team protesting at the harsh sit ups they had to do in apologies for stealing the number.

"What the fuck Cap!" Mick yelled out in betrayal "my legs were dead after that!"

Ilya laughed and turned back to his phone, taking it off speaker.

"Promise was going to tell you," Ilya said in this gentle tone which had the room settling to listen.

"Mmhm, sure thing." Shane muttered, but not sounding half as annoyed as before. "You're gonna have to make it up to me."

"Whatever you want." Ilya responded.

"Risky promise Rozanov." Shane laughed. "But first, I need to find my rogue team."

"Huh?"

"They took off running, as if I can't see them booking it to Mitty's car- JJ get your fucking ass back here!"

Ilya had to laugh, the yelling from Shane was so relaxed and settled. It eased a knot in his chest.

"I see you soon yes?" Ilya whispered softly.

Shane paused his tangent, "yeah, I'll see you in about an hour." 

Ilya didnt cate his whole team nearly took him to the floor in a group pile and teasing.

The smile wouldn't budge.

He had his home.

 

Chapter End Notes

Shane did catch his rouge team and his rogue team got the mum lecture of a century.

Back to the regularly scheduled programing and format next chapter!

Chapter 20: Boston and Montreal

Chapter Summary

Miscellaneous chaos babies, this is miscellaneous chaos.

Chapter Notes

Still no sight of Spider-nov, I fear either a cat ate him or hes retreated into the depths of my house.

Last part of my surprises (for now) will be out next butttt, here's some fun misc crack fun.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Connors: Mom I have a question 

Shane: fire away

Marlow: I have my own question 

Connors: I asked first wtf

Marlow: too bad

Marlow: what happens if we ALL start calling Shane Mom

St-Simon: Im not calling Shane Mom

Marlow: but if we did

Carmichael: what happens 

Connors: 👀

Shane: uh

Shane: go for it?

Shane: I guess 

Marlow: you have just given me permission to start something here

Carmichael: new headline "Bears Roster Calls Montreals Shane Hollander Mom on the Ice"

Shane: do not call me that on the ice 

Marlow: booo

Connors: awh man :(

Shane: you'll give some middle aged white man who played one round of junior hockey and now stares us down in his basement a heart attack if they caught that on recording 

St-Simon: your oddly specific sometimes 

Carmichael: and it oddly works 

Carmichael: that was the perfect visual 

Shane: blessing and a curse 

Connors: can I ask my question now please 

Shane: sorry Connor, continue 

Connors: :)

Connors: next team dinner, can u bring Mitty pls

Connors: and thanks 

Shane: should I be concerned?

Marlow: only for your sanity dude

St-Simon: best not to question it

Carmichael: they've become like an evil duo 

Connors: hes my friend :(

Shane: sure, cant see why not

Shane: fuck no I can see why not, cause I bring one, I gotta bring them all

Connors: exactly 

Marlow: you evil genius

Carmichael: played you like a fiddle Hollander 

St-Simon: evil child 

Shane: finneee

Connors: YAAYY

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Marlow: you all better kiss Connors ass for the stunt he just pulled

Carmichael: classical favourite child manipulation tactics 

St-Simon: work of art

Connors: thank you, thank you

Hayden: what u do?

Comeau: 👀

Drapeau: 👀

JJ: 👀

Mitty: AYE DID IT WORK

Connors: YEP

Mitty: HELL YEAH

Hayden: again... what u do?

Carmichael: Shane agreed they'll host a team dinner

St-Simon: for both teams at once

Drapeau: holy shit

Comeau: OUR Holzy? Agreed to host? All nine of us?

JJ: the evil children are magic 

Hayden: I cannot believe this 

Connors: ✨️✨️

Mitty: a beautiful power move by Connors there

Connors: you came up with it 

Mitty: we are just that good

Hayden: fuck off not another set of demons 

St-Simon: this may become a problem 

Connors: 😉

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Ilya: Shane has informed me, to tell Mitty and Connors, and the rest of you idiots to be here by 6pm

Comeau: not the blatant favouritism 

Drapeau: ☠️

Ilya: I say seriously now

Ilya: if you dumbasses fuck this up

Ilya: hell to pay

Hayden: youd think with the amount of times he threatens us itd be less intimidating 

St-Simon: actually it just gets worse

Marlow: cause you know damn well hes serious 

JJ: scary mother fucker

Mitty: Connors still want a lift?

Connors: yes pleeaasseee

Carmichael: then there's that randomness 

Drapeau: another thing to ignore 

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Marlow: does Shane look like hes about to keel over to anyone else or just me

Hayden: hes freaking out

Drapeau: lots of people 

Comeau: he'll be right in a minute 

JJ: needs to feel the chaos 

Mitty: then hes good

St-Simon: poor dude has moved that one bowl of salad three times 

Carmichael: whoever is left in the kitchen, can y'all flag Rozzy down 

Connors: on it

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Connors Has Sent Three Image Attachments -

Connors: assss promised 

Connors: the family photos 

Hayden: wait thats kinda cute

Drapeau: LOOK AT HOLZYS LITTLE FACE

Comeau: lowkey new lockscreen 

Marlow: awh

St-Simon: even Rozzy is grinning for real there

JJ: still cant believe we got all 11 of us in one shot 

Mitty: magic

Carmichael: bets on next time we go there

Carmichael: its framed and on the wall

Connors: 😭😭

Ilya: thank you boys 

Hayden: without making it obvious that we're all on our phones rn

Hayden: does Shane look like he wants to ask something 

Ilya: he does

Ilya: one second

Connors: that was the most awkward way to ask if people were staying the night

Marlow: hes getting much better at the socialising 

Drapeau: so proud of him

Mitty: I love we all collectively agreed and all somehow had clothes ready in case they offered 

JJ: look at captain go with the set up

Carmichael: he makes a wicked sleepover set up 

Carmichael: feel like im 13 again at a mates house 

Ilya: he nests like bird 

Ilya: makes him feel better, more helpful 

Hayden: bless his fucking cotton socks 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Comeau: AND THEY MADE US BREAKFAST 

Drapeau: starting to see why Connors calls Shane Mom now

Connors: told ya

Mitty: its so sweet

JJ: I feel like I could nap for 6 years 

JJ: food coma

Hayden: currently am sprawled on my couch

Hayden: cannot move

St-Simon: I feel spoiled 

Marlow: we should send a gift basket 

Carmichael: brb writing a card

Connors: let's alllll send cards

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Shane: why the fuck did I just get NINE thank you cards in my letterbox 

Shane: are you guys okay??

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Mitty: you left ur hoodie in my car dude ☠️

Mitty: how? Who knows

Connors: ah shit that's where it is HAHA

Connors: I'll grab it from ya next time I see you

Mitty: I can give it to Shane to pass along to Ilya if you need it back quicker?

Mitty: I probably wont see you for a bit cause we dont play eachother for a while 

Connors: hang on to it for me 

Connors: we'll catch up beforehand 

Mitty: cool 🙂

Connors: 🙂

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Ilya: you are cute in my kitchen 

Ilya: fussing like house wife

Shane: 🤨

Shane: ur acting like it wasnt to prevent ur kitchen from burning down

Shane: how many hockey players does it take to make dinner?

Shane: 11 apparently 

Ilya: I take offence to this

Shane: you nearly dropped a stack of plates

Ilya: ...I take back

Shane: mmmhm

Ilya: come to bed?

Shane: 5 minutes

Ilya: okie 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Marlow: dude 

St-Simon: what's up

Marlow: you knew before the rest of us did

St-Simon: pardon??

Marlow: I was going back in the chat when Shane was still ya know, Jane

Marlow: you stopped using gender specific words for things 

St-Simon: oh that

St-Simon: I didnt know know 

St-Stimon: had a slight suspicion Jane was a dude 

Marlow: now how the fuck

St-Simon: call it hunch

St-Simon: did not fucking know itd be Shane Hollander 

Marlow: no one fucking guessed that one lemme tell ya

 

 

Chapter End Notes

Also I see y'all shipping Connors and Mitty in these comments and im giggling - Did I create a ghost ship HAHA

 

Did I play it up cause funny? Yes, yes I did 🙂‍↕️

Chapter 21: Jane Meet Boston WAGs, Boston WAGs Meet Jane

Chapter Summary

HEHE

Couldn't ignore how funny these chats can be between Jane/Lily and the actual WAG chats.

 

Please note I came up with these womens names cause I cannot remember or find these potential partners name HAHA.

There's others on the team that aren't in the chat so they're wives and girlfriends would be here as well.

Chapter Notes

We have concluded the Spider-nov saga unless I see him physically return... 😔

 

👀 I see y'all 👀 with connors and mitty 👀 y'all liked that snippet didnt you 👀

See the end of the chapter for more notes

 

Marlow: please know

Marlow: it wasnt us

Carmichael: mom promise it was NOT us

Carmichael: I didnt think he'd ACTUALLY do it

Connors: oh we're all screwed 

St-Simon: I WASNT EVEN THERE

Shane: what

Shane: did

Shane: you 

Shane: do

Shane: 🤨

Carmichael: Beck was talking with Rozzy

Carmichael: Joke got made in earshot of her

Connors: cause Marley has a big mouth

Marlow: HEY

St-Simon: oh you dumb fucks

Shane: repeating myself here

Shane: wtf

Shane: WAIT

Shane: YOU DID NOT

Carmichael: IM SORRY 

Connors: 😭

Marlow: 😭

St-Simon: STILL NOT INVOLVED I SWEAR

Shane: Fuck

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Beck Has Added Jane to the Conversation -

Beck: Hiii Jane

Beck: hope this is okay

Beck: boys let it slip while I was around Roz had a girlfriend and we couldn't not add you

Jane: oh um

Jane: hi?

Louise: oh shes shy 🤭 

Emily: ROZ HAS A GIRL?

Ella: HOLD THE FUCK ON

Ella: who wins betting pool?

Jane: sorry the what?

Beck: sorry girl, the WAGs chat had a bet on whether Roz would ever have an addition here ☠️

Jane: ....

Louise: sorry that's probably offensive as fuck

Jane: cant blame you, he was a whore

Emily: oh-

Ella: I LOVE HER ALREADY

Jane: I'll brb 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Shane: you boys are damn lucky Mick's girl confirmed the story

Shane: or your all sleeping in the shed next time

Carmichael: god bless that woman

Marlow: Mick tell her thank you 😭

Connors: thought we were done for

St-Simon: YOU were done for

St-Simon: I was pissing 

Shane: gross

Shane: who actually handed my number over though?

Carmichael: well

Marlow: um

Connors: listen he said not to blab 

St-Simon: Rozzy folded like a cheap lawn chair in the shed you bring out twice a year for family events 

Shane: Ilya.

Carmichael: RIP captain 

Connors: was good knowing you

Marlow: may he rest in pieces 

St-Simon: gone too soon ☠️

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Shane: Ilya

Shane: Grigoryevich

Shane: Rozanov

Ilya: ...

Ilya: listen

Shane: you aint getting nothing for WEEKS for this one

Ilya: no 😭

Shane: smh

Ilya: how I fix?

Shane: 🤨

Shane: you better learn to beg cause I aint changing my mind

Ilya: 👀

Shane: horny bastard 

Ilya: you looovveee me

Shane: for some reason 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Jane: back sorry 

Beck: did you just chew out Roz for handing the number over with no warning?

Jane: awh how'd you know?

Ella: shes a fucking legend 

Emily: 👀👀

Louise: is he pouting?

Jane: yep

Jane: and he gets to repent for the next two weeks

Ella: HA

Beck: shes an icon 

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Beck: so Jane

Ella: do you and Roz live together?

Jane: ahh no, not right now

Jane: we both travel with work so

Emily: ooo girl whatcha do for work?

Beck: oh Roz told me this one

Beck: sports photography!

Jane: hahaaa yep

Louise: ooh cool

Ella: is that how y'all met? 

Jane: yeahh through work

Beck: cuties

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Shane: sports photographer?

Shane: really?

Shane: that's what you came up with???

Ilya: I mean you do take photos 

Ilya: best I come up with on the spot

Shane: and if they ask to see my "work"?

Ilya: I know you have camera 

Ilya: show photos you took in summer 

Shane: those are NOT family friendly asshole

Ilya: HAHA

Ilya: now who is horny one

Ilya: the ones when I was skating?

Shane: oh

Shane: fucking hell

Ilya: cute boy

Shane: still not getting any

Ilya: BOOOO

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Ella: do you have an instagram with your pics Jane?

Jane: no sorry

Emily: oh thats interesting 

Beck: how do you get clients?

Jane: private sourcing, they um reach out?

Louise: ooohhh

Emily: girlie takes photos of rich people 

Jane: yeahhh 

Beck: are you coming to his next game?

Ella: omg pls say yes

Emily: would be so so cool

Louise: pleasseeee

Jane: sorry girls

Jane: work has me in another state 😭

Beck: booo

Emily: just be Roz's personal photographer 

Ella: 😏😏

Louise: 🤭

Jane: 👀

Beck: OH YOU DO TAKE PHOTOS OF HIM DONT YOU

Louise: oh you lucky bitch

Ella: I know our men be hot as well but damn Jane 😭

Emily: any youd like to shareeee 

Jane: one second

- Jane Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Beck: okay I was expecting some shirtless pic

Beck: not of him looking like a soft puppy

Emily: OH LOOK AT HIS LITTLE SMILEEE

Ella: looking at you by chance Jane?

Louise: awwwhh my heart 

Jane: yeah he's sweet

- Jane Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Jane: then sometimes hes just hot

Beck: HOLY FUCK

Emily: BACK MUSCLES HELLO

Ella: GET IT GIRL

Louise: DAMNNNN

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Carmichael: Shane

Shane: yes?

Carmichael: are you sending the WAGs chat shirtless photos of Roz

Carmichael: by chance?

Marlow: OH

Connors: PARDON ME

St-Simon: oh jesus christ, never hearing the end of this one

Shane: 😊

Carmichael: DUDE 😭

Marlow: smh 

Connors: mom wtf 😭

St-Simom: "shanes innocent" my fucking asshole 

Shane: who's fucking ur asshole Vincent? 👀

St-Simon: sometimes I regret this chat

Marlow: HAHA

Carmichael: ☠️☠️☠️

Connors: OOOHHH

Shane: you do not

Shane: y'all love me too much

St-Simon: that we do

Connors: LOVE YOU MOOOMMM

Shane: you too boys 

Marlow: I go cry now

Carmichael: 😭😭😭

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Ilya: what you say to my team?

Ilya: they are dramatically throwing themselves 

Ilya: on me

Ilya: and muttering about you

Shane: reminded the children mom loves them 

Ilya: you have too much fun with this

Shane: you love it too

Ilya: ....

Ilya: shush 

Chapter End Notes

Connors and mitty rn is my fun ghost ship HAHA, no confirmations here they'd actually go anywhere, ors just fun.

 

Unless its a riot in the comments, then I must provide what is wanted of course 😉

Some of your comments have gone on my list of things to cover.

Chapter 22: Shane and Ilya Meet Life's Moments

Chapter Summary

Okay I lied, I had more live scenes to add because why not?

I wanted to show these bits cause there's the realness for a minute, then there's the crack family.

A beautiful person posed a good question on whether actual Mitty and Connors had pre-existing partners, I'll be honest folks I search the internet and my brain - 404 error, could not find - pls correct me if wrong.

 
Also you may notice soon this fic becomes a Part I because I have ideas of things I wanna write but it all doesnt fit in this crack lala land I've made.

(The hurt comfort fic writer in me is barking to come get out but this fic is meant to be crack so not too much angst aka Tuna Melt D-Day)

Chapter Notes

Spider-nov update: found him, in my fucking shower, on my shaving cream, as I sat on the floor to shave.

Ive never thrown a bottle quicker.

 

Smh.

Fuckin straya for ya.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Shane and Hayden Post Reveal -

 

"Shane, you need to sit." Ilya tried to gently coax him back to the couch, "wearing hole into the floor will not help."

Shane grimaced and stopped in the middle of the living room.

Fuck this.

Fuck it all.

Just behind his parents finding out, his team knowing unintentionally haunted him in his sleep. These boys who'd he'd know for years, played with, captained and watched grow.

He'd been there, for marriages, for the birth of his god children. 

Been some of the first people to meet his god children actually. 

The Pike family was an extension of his, when he didn't have Ilya, or his parents, he had Hayden. Jackie and the kids.

Would he loose that? Would Hayden be angry?

He said he wasn't.

People can lie? 

The thought made his already frozen body be struck with a dreadful chill.

He was so cold, but sweating like he had a fever.

A hand slipped alongside his neck and to the back of his hair, playing with his shirt.

"Breathe yes?" Ilya said firmly, but not coldly, "that's all you must do now."

Shane jabbed his teeth into his lip harshly, no more crying.

"Aye." Ilya chirped, "you are like puppy, I take away one thing, you chew another."

"Shut up," Shane muttered, laying his head into the crook of Ilyas neck. "Please, just-"

A knock at the door cut Shane off and Ilya tensed, holding him tighter. 

Neither moved for a moment. 

"Shane? Shane hey, its Hayden, please open the door." Haydens strained voice carried over the entryway. "Buddy please."

Ilya moved first, squeezing Shane's shoulders and moving to let Pike in.

Shane could hear them, soft murmurs of something danced past his ears but he couldn't comprehend it.

He steeled himself for this conversation and turned to face his best friend.

The sight had hum ducking his head again, eyes blurring with tears.

Hayden was no better, eyes red rimmed, looking every bit nervous and upset.

He'd upset his best friend.

Shane tried to mutter out some words, some explanation, nothing came out.

Hayden swooped forward, grabbing Shane tightly, his own shoulders shaking from tears he hadn't cried yet. 

"Fuck I'm so sorry, please believe I'm sorry." Hayden muttered, pulling back to hold Shane tightly by the shoulders. "No one is mad at you, no one hates you."

"Are you sure? You can be mad." Shane said quietly.

Hayden's heart cracked a bit at how small Shane sounded. How resigned he was to receive hatred and scorn.

Where had they gone wrong?

He could feel Rozanov's eyes burn holes in the back of his head. If he didn't fix this, Hayden knew he might leave in pieces.

"Shane, hey look at me," Hayden tried lightly shaking his best friends shoulders again, "no one is angry with you."

"I'm sorry."

Hayden hugged hin again, harder then ever before.

Shane hugged him back with equal force.

 

 

 

- Ilya and Shane, Someone Remembers -

 

They settled comfortably in bed; Shane curled securely into Ilyas side. Limbs intertwined, Ilyas arm tucked around the back of Shanes shoulders.

Ilya breathed deeply, nose tucked into Shane's hair, revelling in the comforting, mundane, smell of the shampoo he uses. 

Simple things, it was simple things like this.

He considered for a moment, back in the cottage, in a barely awake haze, if Shane had been a gift from his Mother.

Not an apology, but a gentle confirmation she still kept a watchful eye on him.

Shane was his reprieve, his salvation. 

He did not pray much, if ever anymore.

But as he held the love of life, he considered this to be his way of devout worship. 

He couldn't help the small smile he pulled as Shane wiggled in his sleep, seemingly trying to get as close and physically possible to Ilya.

How could he have ever denied this?

Every piece of Shane, he loved more then life itself.

Even the mans oddities and his absolute hatred of Ilyas gross hockey socks.

Ilya settled in.

Then tensed.

"The socks." Ilya said aghast, "it was you."

Shane fumbled upright, "what are you fucking on about?"

"The socks Hollander, the shit pile of socks." 

Shane made a face which portrayed his utter confusion but as Ilya stared him down with certainty, it clicked.

The Bears bombarding him with socks.

Shane fell back into the bed cackling.

Ilya let himself soak that beautiful noise in, the genuine laugh that Shane had was music.

He then took no mercy and pounced on his boyfriend.

 

 

 

- Let's Talk About the Mom Thing -

 

Shane could feel Ilyas arms twist around his waist as he waved off the last car containing his boyfriends players.

"Hmm, went better then you thought, yes?" Ilya whispered into his neck, "you had no reason to panic."

"Don't make fun of me," Shane grumbled, "I just wanted them to enjoy the night."

Ilya slowly begun swaying them.

"They already like you Hollander, no need to fuss." Ilya said, "is quite cute."

Shane could feel a flick of heat rush up his neck, making his ears flush.

Slowly they made there way back into Ilyas home. Shane had one more day before he had to fly out to the next city. 

They'd make the most of it, they always did.

"We did need to talk though." 

Shane stopped mid step, initially going to the kitchen but diverted himself to the lounge. 

A fond smile snuck in at the memory of everyone crowded in there, watching TV and genuinely enjoying the night.

"Hmm?" Shane answered, folding a blanket to keep his hands busy.

Ilya looked serious for a moment and Shane wondered if he'd missed something.

"Why the fuck does Connors call you Mom?"

Shane snorted, of all things.

"What? Is very important question." Ilya said, mocking a hurt tone, "one might think you baby-trap me Hollander. A son I was not aware of!"

Genuinely laughing now, Shane had to sit down next to Ilya for steadiness.

"Who taught you what the fuck baby trapping meant?" Shane asked breathless, "can you even baby trap someone when its a grown adult that's said child?"

"Ha! You admit it!" Ilya sounded vindicated, "Connors was some secret love child."

"Ah, yes, its been such a burden to hide my child." Shane mocked. "It was a joke that just stuck I guess.'

Ilya grumbled some unintelligible Russian and Shane flipped on the couch, throwing his legs into Ilyas lap. The latters hand quickly began rubbing small circles on his shins.

"What are you jealous your player seems to like me more?" Shane teased.

Shaking his head, Ilya leant back on the couch and contemplated his words.

"Is cute, he follows you around like a little duck." Ilya explained, "just did not think he'd call you Mom out loud."

"Should I ask him to call you Dad to even the scale here?" Shane questioned, eyes fluttering closed.

Ilya stared at him deadpan. 

"You mock me."

"You make it easy."

Ilya squawked in offence and shifted to lay atop Shane.

In the quiet of the morning, Shane felt consciousness slip away, but he couldn't miss Ilya muttering.

"You'd make good Dad one day."

Chapter End Notes

Maybe Mitty and Connors with happen, maybeeeee they wont. Y'all give me too much power of control here.

Chapter 23: Montreal and Boston

Chapter Summary

Montreal and Boston, time to meet the wonderful oddities of Shane Hollander through Ilyas eyeballs.

Chapter Notes

Can anyone explain to me quickly in the comments a very very, and I cannot express this enough, very, simple bit of Hockey so I can include some on the ice things please 😭

Girlies I tried googling it, I tried watching hockey's for dummies, but I have not a single athletic bone in this body of mine.

Like if this is someone's hyper-fixation, baby I want you to info dump on me please.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Lily and the Montreal Boys - 

 

Ilya: Pike

Ilya: Pike

Ilya: h a y d e n  p i k e

Hayden: dude 

Hayden: its 1am

Hayden: the fuck you want

Drapeau: this chat is yap yap yapping 

Drapeau: and y'all need to shush shush shush it

Ilya: mute it

Mitty: why are you awake??

Hayden: I did fall asleep but was a victim to having my phone under my pillow so Rozanov woke me up

Comeau: the hell is going on

JJ: did someone keel over or?

- Ilya Has Sent One Image Attachment  -

Ilya: someone stop him 

Hayden: ....is he doing a puzzle??

Mitty: at this hour??

Drapeau: odd child

Comeau: and you woke us up for this why?

JJ: what's the puzzle of?

Ilya: thats the thing

Ilya: he was asleep

Ilya: shot up and went to kitchen 

Drapeau: and he just sat down for a puzzle?

Mitty: tbh, a very Shane thing to do

JJ: he has many Shane tendencies 

Hayden: was the puzzle the goal of the kitchen trip or?

Comeau: well I doubt Holzy was after a midnight snack

Ilya: I was brave and asked what he was doing 

Mitty: 👀

Comeau: 👀

JJ: 👀

Drapeau: 👀

Hayden: 👀

Ilya: he says "I figured out why the corner bits did not match" 

Ilya: help I date old man

Hayden: hes YOUR old man now

Mitty: have fun

Comeau: one of Shanes oddball moments 

Drapeau: it happens 

JJ: night nighttt

Ilya: he has requested help

Ilya: but he is too cute to deny

Ilya: 😭

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Mitty Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Mitty: thought you'd like to see this one

Ilya: what on earth?

Mitty: he was on the floor tucked under the bench so he could crack his back

Mitty: then just decided it was comfortable 

Hayden: I think hes asleep?? 

Comeau: ...do we just let him?

Drapeau: I mean practise has wrapped up but we don't have a bus coming for about 20mins

JJ: we draw on him?

Ilya: you let him sleep

Ilya: ....but take photos

Hayden: he must be exhausted to be sleeping here and not noticing us crowded around him

Ilya: you are like pigeons 

Ilya: noisy hoot hoot

Mitty: even me? :(

Ilya: not you Mitty :)

Mitty: :)

JJ: scorned again 

Drapeau: we always seem too surprised when he shows the blatant favouritism 

Ilya: not my fault you learn slow

Comeau: ☠️

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

- Ilya and Shane -

 

- Ilya Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Ilya: why is all labelled?

Ilya: you forget english??

Shane: its so I know what's in them?

Shane: is that weird?

Ilya: no

Ilya: but this would not happen if you left things in the packets

Shane: it looks nicer! 

Ilya: 😔

Ilya: mr designer, I cannot find my cereal 

Shane: so dramatic 

Shane: hold on I'm coming 

Ilya: 😏

Shane: on second thought 

Shane: you can find it yourself 

Ilya: noooo

Ilya: 😭

Shane: 😊

Ilya: cheeky 

Shane: and just out of the shower 

Ilya: cereal can wait

Ilya: do not get dressed 

Shane: move quick then 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Boston Boys -

 

Ilya: I do not pay attention 

Marlow: we know 

St-Simon: not a new fact Rozzy

Ilya: 🤨

Ilya: to our merch press release 

Ilya: idiots 

Carmichael: oop

Connors: lucky for you Cap

Connors: I do

Ilya: this why you Shanes favourite 

Ilya: he is useful one

Connors: whatcha need

Ilya: the hoodie strings

St-Simon: like a hoodie without them?

Ilya: eh?

St-Simon: we have a crew neck?

Ilya: no needs hood

Connors: I mean you can take the string out?

Marlow: what's up Cap?

Ilya: no no, need the hoodie strings

Carmichael: did you loose the one from yours?

Ilya: kind of

Connors: you all good Cap

Ilya: tell Shane I told you

Ilya: and I make you do sit ups till next game day

St-Simon: you dont need to make that threat every time dude

Marlow: we love Shane

Carmichael: 👀

Connors: is mom okay?

Ilya: he is fine

Ilya: he chews the hoodie strings when stressed and the ones on my hoodie are gross

Connors: that might be the sweetest thing you've considered doing 

Marlow: our boy is all grown up 😭

St-Simon: look how far hes come

Carmichael: man whore to husband 

Ilya: 🤨

Ilya: sit ups for you

Carmichael: fuck

Marlow: just him?

Ilya: all of you

St-Simom: damnit 

Connors: ....I'll tell mom your being mean

St-Simon: oh my god

Marlow: he did not

Carmichael: holy shit

Ilya: ...

Ilya: lucky bastards

Marlow: OH MY GOD

Carmichael: IT FUCKING WORKED

St-Simon: DEAD

Connors: HOLY SHIT IT WORKED

Ilya: can someone just answer my question

Connors: oh yeah, ask the product team, they'll send you replacements

 

Chapter End Notes

Spider-nov is hiding under a towel rack after I lacrosse threw the can of shaving cream he scuttled on to while my naked ass tried not tl slip and die.

 

Also does it feel like I'm over drawing the life of this fic or do I just keep going till I got nothing left?

Chapter 24: Boston and Montreal Meet United Front

Chapter Summary

Its a game dayyy

 

If that chap title scares you....

Good senses babe.

 

I kidding, I kidding... kinda, here's some agnst and comfort I promise, then right back to crack cause at minimum there is two more characters we need to join the mix... for now.

Chapter Notes

Thank you to everyone who commented some hockey things, im starting to understand some bits (I swear to god I'm gonna end up ACTUALLY watching this sport and then I'll be a real problem)

Anyway, enjoy, MWAH

 

Spider update: found a new one, its bigger, it jumped at me ☠️

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Shane and Ilya -

 

Ilya: play good game

Ilya: I see you tonight 

Shane: do I get a reward for winning?

Ilya: When have you not Hollander 🤨

Shane: just checking

Ilya: cheeky

Shane: 👀

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.

- Lily and the Montreal Boys -

Mitty: you need to call Shane 

Hayden: Ilya please answer your fucking phone

Comeau: I cant believe that just happened 

Drapeau: he cant possibly know

Hayden: I doubt it, hes just a wanker 

Hayden: fucking hell, Ilya answer your phone 

JJ: fuck hes not calming down

Hayden: fuck this im calling him, I'll be back

Mitty: can someone call his Mom??

Comeau: on it

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Ilya: thank you Pike

Ilya: I took long to answer because reception is shit

Hayden: its okay

Hayden: youre here though, close to us?

Ilya: yes

Hayden: I'll drop him off to you then, he can't drive like this

Ilya: okay, get him in the car, I'll keep talking to him

Hayden: Roger that

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

 

- Jane and the Bears - 

 

Marlow: Shane are you okay?

St-Simom: we were watching the game

Connors: he's a dead man fucking walking 

Carmichael: aye calm down

Carmichael: you'll stress him out

Shane: Connor its okay

Marlow: woah hang on

St-Simon: it was not okay

Shane: I overreacted and now people are asking questions 

Carmichael: tell them to kiss concrete 

Marlow: you have nothing to blame yourself for 

Connors: Shane?

St-Simon: still there man?

Marlow: fuck

Carmichael: someone call Roz

St-Simon: already calling

Connors: ...Shane?

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

- The Children -

 

Ilya: update here so not repeating 

Ilya: he is with me, he does not have phone

Hayden: fuck did he leave it somewhere??

Ilya: no I took it

Ilya: he was spiralling 

Comeau: I may just beat the shit out of Kent

Drapeau: get in line buddy

Mitty: coach is fuming 

JJ: media team is in tizzy

Ilya: not my problem 

Carmichael: is Shane still awake?

Ilya: yes but hes not talking 

Hayden: fuck that happens sometimes 

Hayden: he'll come back to himself

Ilya: I know this

Ilya: have known this since we were 18 Pike

Ilya: this is different 

Hayden: fuck I forget that

Hayden: shit not the time, sorry

Comeau: is there anything we can do?

Drapeau: we'll do it no questions 

JJ: anything for him

Mitty: Ilya?

Ilya: support him, I dont know how but

Ilya: hes scared 

Marlow: we'll handle it

St-Simon: focus on your boy

Carmichael: time for another chat dudes 

Mitty: anyone talked to Connor?

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Mitty: hey are you okay??

Mitty: youre not in the chat and thats not like you 

Connors: I'll freak someone out with the way I want to talk right now

Connors: I feel so violent 

Mitty: Connor its okay

Mitty: that fuck stick went after probably the kindest player in the league, but also someone you care about 

Mitty: its okay to be pissed 

Connors: I'm more then pissed though 

Connors: why cant they be happy and public? 

Connors: cause theyre are fuckers like Kent around and now Shanes gonna be more terrified to be open 

Mitty: wanna know something?

Connors: ?

Mitty: I used to be jealous of you

Connors: huh?

Mitty: when I found out that Shane was comfortable with you lot, that you knew before us, it was like getting a bucket of ice tossed on me

Mitty: one of my good friends, my captain

Mitty: he felt so unsafe with us that he ran out 

Connors: he loves you, he was scared but

Mitty: I know that now 

Mitty: but at the time it was a wtf moment 

Mitty: but you helped him so so much

Connors: Shanes hard not to love on 

Mitty: agreed

Mitty: but hes also still an adult too 

Mitty: hes scared right now yes but, what he'll need is support, not vengeance 

Connors: I still want to beat the shit out of Kent though 

Mitty: we all want a turn 

Connors: where are you hauled up for this weekend then?

Mitty: want me to come over?

Connors: only if your like, somehow in the area 

Mitty: if I said the four of us are already in Montreal?

Connors: fuck off you aren't

Mitty: not lying

Mitty: with it being end of season for us, we'd planned to come up 

Connors: but how??

Mitty: super powers sweetheart, its my specialty ✨️

Connors: fuck off

Mitty: lmao, that got you to laugh I bet 

Connors: potentially 

Mitty: care for a visitor 👀

Mitty: all good if not, we did book a hotel 

Connors: ...dump the other three and get over here

Connors: I remember you had a hoodie to return no?

Mitty: nah mine now

Connors: AYE

Mitty: we'll trade

Connors: a bear wearing a voyagers hoodie and a voyager wearing a bears one

Connors: what a sight

Mitty: even better they have our names on em

Connors: photo op

Connors: how far away are you? 

Mitty: eh about 20 minutes by uber 

Connors: see you soon

Mitty: dont spiral

Connors: yeah yeah

Mitty: watchin u

Connors: 👀

Mitty: 👀

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Scott Hunter -

 

Hunter: hey

Hunter: so this might be awkward as fuck but I wanted to check in, I saw the replay of what happened 

Shane: oh um

Shane: hi yeah sorry, some stuff got said, I overreacted and have caused shit now

Hunter: did you want to talk about what happened?

Shane: not to be rude but why?

Hunter: because you don't fight, doesnt mean you can't, but its not you

Hunter: he obviously said something to you

Shane: you've seen the videos

Hunter: I have, but I dont think they show what happened 

Shane: ...anyone ever tell you that youre perceptive but odd?

Hunter: yes 

Hunter: Kip tells me daily 

Shane: how is he?

Hunter: good, working hard

Hunter: dont deflect though Hollander 

Shane: he called me a slur

Hunter: he's always been a horrid person

Hunter: should've hit him harder 

Shane: I'll be sure to tell Kip you said that

Hunter: dont worry, he said that too when he saw it

Hunter: if you wanna talk about it, or anything else Shane, just text

Shane: I appreciate it

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Connor -

 

Shane: dont go beating anyone up 

Connor: ...why not

Shane: because I said so 

Connor: 🤨

Shane: and because I dont need you getting into trouble for me

Connor: finneee

Connor: are you okay?

Shane: I will be, promise 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Boston Boys - 

 

St-Simon: I'm asking here, not Shane specifically 

St-Simon: what the fuck did Kent say to get a Shane to right hook him

Ilya: you do not say that you know to Shane

Carmichael: Shane said people were now asking questions 

Marlow: was it about you somehow?

Connors: that or its racial 

Ilya: partly, kind of both, mostly homophobic 

Ilya: I will not repeat exact 

Ilya: but very known slurs 

Carmichael: jesus fucking christ 

Ilya: he is scared people know he is gay now

Connors: this is fucked

Marlow: I feel unwell 

Carmichael: have you been online at all?

Ilya: no

Connors: might want to have a look 

St-Simon: people are pissed but not at Shane bud

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Children -

 

Ilya: hi its Shane, I'm okay, calmed down and not having the meltdown of the century 

Ilya: sorry to have worried you

Hayden: dude you gotta stop apologising 

JJ: Kent should chew concrete 

Marlow: Still saying we should all rent a bus and jump jim

St-Simon: I'll drive

Comeau: fuck yeah group trip

Drapeau: snacks anyone?

Carmichael: ✨️👀✨️

Connors: onwards

Mitty: we might need a body bag

Ilya: no violence, jesus christ, what is with the murderous tendencies 

Connors: he fucked with Mom

Connors: he goes

Ilya: good grief 

Hayden: wait so, Shane you knew about this chat, why aren't you in it?

Ilya: I did not, Ilya coughed it up 

Ilya: Roz here, he means he bullied it out of me and I feared for life

St-Simon: aka, Roz folded like a cheap lawn chair again 

Ilya: you can do laps Vincent 

St-Simon: Im right

Ilya: shut the fuck up

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

- Shane and Mitty -

 

Shane: wanna know what I heard 

Mitty: 👀

Shane: someone is having a sleepover 

Shane: with Connor 👀

Mitty: no idea what your on about Captain 

Shane: you wouldnt lie to me

Shane: would you Miitka

Mitty: oh dude come on

Shane: ☺️

Mitty: smh, youre a menace 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Connor -

 

Shane: oh connooorrr

Connor: no mom

Connor: Mit said you would do this

Connor: nope

Shane: HA so he is with you

Connor: fuck

Connor: I cant even be mad because this obviously is making you laugh 

Shane: my son is smart 

Connor: oh you wound me, using that now 😭

Shane: :)

Shane: you two should come over for dinner 

Connor: okie dokie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter End Notes

I know I said minimal agnst but I had to have a fist fight in here SOMEWHERE

Also I'll be real the Aussie in me wanted to use the c word so badly but these characters would not HAHA and I've made this OOC enough

 

Also Hi Scott, I had planned for him to come in earlier but got distracted by the kids chat being yappers - he will be back again (with Kip cause I love Kip).

Also also, I cant fucking find Mittys first full name anywhere, I had to revert to the wiki page for Miitka 😭

Chapter 25: Boston and Montreal Meet Everyday Chaos

Chapter Summary

Please ignore my dumb fuck ass in the last chapter, it was meant to be Connor going to Mitty but I got distracted by them, listen I got one objective here and geography aint it.
(I will fix it soon LMAO)

The consensus has told me Mittys first name may be Soren so we'll be rolling with that unless told otherwise.

Anyway, here's the new chap, the filler chap of all fillers, pls dont take me out for it not being actual plot LMAO
Plot? What plot?

Oh right, we'll get our beloved Ottawa boys soon.

Chapter Notes

Psst remember that playlist I mentioned?

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2nZumOwOZrjJQPNStE7ZFL?si=h38gJC9TTuGCOV-MYl1S_A&pt=2ade685cb75f6a2dfca07b948e456384&pi=ycqbGBC-QPS3W

 

Here ya go - lemme know if it doesnt work - its like my POV of the Hollanov arc in music.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

 

- Connor and Mitty -

 

Connor: so I had an idea

Mitty: either really good or really bad

Connor: oi

Mitty: I say with love of course 

Connor: sure asshole

Connor: anyway

Mitty: 👀

Connor: you know that photo we got with the hoodies?

Mitty: erm

Mitty: which one?

Connor: the ones of the backs of them and we're pointing 

Connor: what one were YOU thinking of

Mitty: moving on

Connor: HA

Connor: we should post it and watch the chaos unfold 

Mitty: the beginning of the end for the teams unfriendly rivalry?

Connor: means when Mom and Roz eventually make an appearance 

Connor: not so so shocking 

Mitty: have I ever told you that you're an evil genius 

Connor: yes but you can tell me again

Mitty: you got a praise kink or something 

Connor: yes

Mitty: OH

Connor: HAHA

Mitty: give a man a heart attack fucking hell Connor

Connor: awwhhh come on, not even a little funny

Mitty: ...okay maybe a little

Connor: 😊

Mitty: anyway, the photo?

Connor: is this you agreeing?

Mitty: 😉

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

 

- The Children -

 

St-Simon: the media teams are going to shank you both

Connors: tehe

Mitty: whatever do you mean by that 

Mitty: we're angels

Marlow: angels of the 6th ring of hell you mean

Drapeau: the regretful demom children of Hollanov 

Comeau: Holzy still hates that Marlow told us about that

Drapeau: even better

JJ: what if we allll posted stuff

Carmichael: the man has a point 👀 

Hayden: surely we all do

St-Simon: this is how the media team suddenly has enough pull to bench us all

Connors: pleaassseeeee

Mitty: pretty pretty pleasseee

St-Simon: ffs fine

Ilya: and you say I fold like cheap lawn chair Vincent 

Ilya: what is that word

Ilya: oh yes

Ilya: hypocrite 

St-Simon: kiss my ass Roz

Ilya: Shane here 

Ilya: asking again, you sure you dont also fuck my boyfriend Vincent?

Hayden: I-

St-Simon: not this shit AGAIN

JJ: how often does he ask you that ☠️

Drapeau: the fact he DOES ask that

Comeau: we were fooled to think that man was a humble virgin 

Hayden: I cant be surprised I've seen how they talk to each other

Ilya: Still Shane

Ilya: been fucking him longer then I knew any of you, so your mistake, not mine 😊

Comeau: ICK

Drapeau: MAN

Hayden: Shane please 😭

JJ: I go see priest now

St-Simon: fuckers thats tame

Marlow: I considered therapy one time

Carmichael: he is seamless 

Connors: nothing new

Mitty: why am I the only one NOT shocked

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Jackie, Hayden and Shane -

 

Jackie: Shane, Hun, wanna tell me why my husband has a Boston Bears shirt?

Shane: I'm just as confused by that statement

Hayden: aye dont throw me under the bus here dude

Hayden: wanna explain to my wife pls

Shane: explain what???

Hayden: Shane, brother, dear sweet summer child

Hayden: not my story to yap here but shes my wife and I'd like her not to kill me

Hayden: she thinks im having a mental breakdown 

Shane: Oh

Shane: OH

Jackie: seriously is Hayden having a conniption

Shane: no no, so um, im seeing someone

Jackie: PARDON

Jackie: sorry that was rude

Jackie: thats so good hun! What's their name?

Shane: so this is where it gets tricky

Hayden: and it will explain the shirt I promise 

Jackie: hayden shh

Shane: its Ilya

Jackie: oh Shane

Jackie: thats wonderful sweets 

Jackie: its not explaining the shirt?

Shane: OH YEAH

Shane: well I befriened Ilyas team and hes kinda befriended ours 

Jackie: howd they even start talking?

Hayden: we dont to go into that

Shane: oh the boys took his number from my phone thinking it was a girl and made a chat to talk for about two years before we actually started dating without telling me

Hayden: dude

Jackie: Hayden. Pike.

Shane: what?

Jackie: Shane, Love, this is so good for you and I'm so so happy

Jackie: Hayden you better have kissed this beautiful mans ass for pulling that shit

Jackie: how invasive!

Shane: its okay Jackie we talked about it

Hayden: he said its okay I swear 😭

Jackie: oh fucking hell is this why you drove to Shanes in an absolute state?

Hayden: when we found out it was Rozanov yeah

Jackie: Hayden!

Shane: promise, everything is all good

Shane: did you wanna meet him?

Jackie: omg of course I do

Jackie: the kids will probably love him, another human tree to climb

Shane: hes good with kids so

Jackie: thinking of kids aye Shaney? 👀

Shane: ...kinda 

Jackie: oh fuck did not think you were serious 

Jackie: wanna babysit with him sometime? 

Shane: He'd probably love too

Hayden: I might faint 

Shane: shut up

Jackie: I gotta know alllll the details 

Jackie: you're still coming for dinner yes?

Shane: wouldn't miss it

Jackie: perfect you can tell me everything

Hayden: do I get to know??

Jackie: you're on kid duty, the adults need to talk

Hayden: heeyy

Shane: 😊

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Connor and Mitty -

 

Connor: miiiiitttttttyyy

Connor: mit mit

Connor: mitttttt

Connor: oh for fuck sakes

Connor: Soren Miitka 

Connor: answer your damn phone 

Mitty: jesus christ who died

Mitty: are you okay??

Connor: huh that worked 

Mitty: ???

Connor: I'm bored 

Mitty: dude I will block you

Connor: no you wont

Mitty: you're how old again?

Connor: why so mean today 😭

Mitty: sorry sorry

Connor: ☹️

Connor: for this your contact name changes 

Mitty: eh?

Connor: 😉

- Connor Has Changed Mittys Contact Name to Sweet Cheeks - 

Sweet Cheeks: what the fuck

Sweet Cheeks: how do I change it back

Sweet Cheeks: Connor

Sweet Cheeks: Connor oi fix this

Connor: HA

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Connor -

 

Shane: Connor

Connor: yes mom?

Shane: why is Mitty messaging me asking how to change a contact name

Connor: not sure mom

Shane: mmhm

Shane: definitely because you didn't change his contact 

Connor: i know nothing 

Shane: sweet cheeks was it? 

Connor: ....well I mean

Shane: Connnor 

Connor: finnneee

Connor: come on its funny 

Shane: yes it is

Shane: but have some mercy on poor Miitka and help him here hmm?

Connor: 🙃

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Connor and Sweet Cheeks -

 

Connor: I have been informed I must take mercy on your old man soul 

Sweet Cheeks: finally 😭

Sweet Cheeks: hey hang on

Connor: hehe

- Connor Has Changed Sweet Cheeks Contact Name to Pretty Boy -

Connor: is that better?

Pretty Boy: Connor Connors, I will drive from Montreal and kick your ass

Connor: ooo that aint a threat 

Pretty Boy: Connor!

Connor: ugghh fine

- Connor Has Changed Pretty Boy Contact Name to Soren -

Connor: party pooper

Soren: my first name?

Connor: well yeah, you've got me set to Connor now so figured itd be okay

Connor: is cool if not, I'll actually fix it for you 

Soren: no um, it can stay 

Connor: oh cool

Soren: cool

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

- Mitty and Shane -

 

Mitty: so question

Shane: 👀

 

 

Chapter End Notes

I'm being haunted by fucking Saskatchewan now I swear to god I keep seeing it at work and in music - these damn queer men be haunting my ass till this fic is finished.

We got Jackie!!
(Svetlana is next promise, Ilya needs his bestie and I love when her and Shane cause chaos together)

 

What did Mit Mit ask Shane I wonder 🤔

Chapter 26: Boston and Montreal-ish Interval (you'll get what I mean)

Chapter Summary

Hi so if this is not your cup of tea, you can skip it, its not central or whatever.

 

For funsies.

 

Because I love y'all so much.

Chapter Notes

I had a whole other chapter planned out, getting Sveta here and it was a full thing - this will be next I swear.

Then I get this notification that a lovely, beautiful reader DREW Mitcon (Sonner? ConMit? Who fucking knows, work with me here) and I couldn't not write this.

Cause ya know, we gotta see the hoodie switch happen yeah?

Seriously, the drawing was fucking gorgeous and I cried in public like a baby because holy shit??

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Connor: soooo

Soren: soooo

Connor: officially we're not in a season

Soren: mmhm

Connor: are you being dull on purpose here

Soren: yes

Connor: Soren :(

Soren: sorry sorry, its easy to annoy you

Soren: very fun too 

Connor: well fine then, guess you DONT want to come to Boston for a week 🙄 

Soren: wait no

Soren: yes I do

Soren: Connor?

Soren: 😭

Connor: you too are easy to rile up

Soren: ASSHOLE I PANICKED FOR A SECOND 

Connor: good 😊

Soren: you mean that though?

Connor: I wouldn't have asked otherwise dude

Soren: when can I make the trip?

Connor: 👀

Soren: 👀

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

He was not a nervous flier, in fact he found himself sleeping more often then not when flying with his team. 

A peace in the chaos of his hockey family.

However, as the flight reached its last half an hour before descent, Soren Miitka could do nothing but fidget in his seat.

He wasn't nervous.

Was he?

Changing the song playing for the tenth time, he muttered a few curse words. Tight plane spaces suddenly overwhelming.

Definitely not nervous.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Soren: just getting to the gate

Soren: where did you park? I'll come find you

Soren: Connor?

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Connor did not take himself for a large man. He was fit physically, but did not loom over people the way others did on his team.

So it surprised him when jumping on Miitka had him swaying and taking a moment to plant his feet.

"Dude what the hell!" Miitka yelped, "trying to assassinate me at the terminal gate?"

Dropping his legs back to the floor, Connor let one of his hands that held tightly to Miitka's hoodie linger for a moment probably longer then allowed.

"You think I was going to let you shuffle to my car like an ushered celebrity pretty boy?" Connor asked back, head tilting.

Miitka bit down a swear, the fluffy mess of Connors hair dipped as he'd tilted his head.

"You spend too much time with Rozanov." 

That has Connor grinning, "well he is my captain."

"Let's go before we attract more states, asshole." 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

- Shane and Connor -

 

Shane: Connor

Connor: yes mom?

Connor: why do a lot of our conversations start like that?

Shane: because youre a menace 

Connor: fair

Shane: anyway

Shane: did you steal Miitka by chance 

Connor: ...no

Shane: you wouldnt lie to me

Shane: now would you Connor?

Connor: ..no..

Shane: so Soren Miitka is not the one you got spotted tackling like an NFL player?

Connor: um

Shane: just be careful, we do need him for next season 

Connor: I will return him in one piece 😊

Shane: 👀

Shane: now what would you be doing where he might not be in one piece 

Connor: nope, byE

Shane: be safeee 

Connor: gross

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

"Was that Shane?" 

Connor tilted himself back around the corner leading to his kitchen from the lounge. 

"Yeah just being his usual, well, Shane self." 

Miitka laughed, "he so made a sex innuendo didn't he?"

Connor felt his face go pink, "no idea what you're on about buddy."

"Buddy? Oh I'm wounded, I've been demoted." Miitka gasped, clutching his controller to his chest, "do you switch hoodies with everyone you call buddy?"

"Is that a way to ask if I'm a man-whore?" Connor asked seriously.

Miitka looked like he'd met his maker for a moment and went to recent it but stopped short when he saw the laugh Connor was holding back.

"Fuck you!" 

It was a weak swear and Connor continued his path to the kitchen, laughing as he went.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

He didn't want to say it was awkward.

But fuck him, there was this odd awkwardness that seemed to creep in when it got quiet. 

Not a strangling awkward, but a vulnerable one. Something waiting to be said or done but christ help him, Miitka couldn't work out what.

At least that's what he told himself.

He didn't know.

Couldn't?

"You okay?" 

Connor.

Connor and his oddly soft voice, infecting accent on certain words and calm eyes.

He had kind eyes.

Was he staring? Shit.

"Yeah sorry, I think I get used to flying for games so I get all mentally hyper so when I'm not doing that its got me all spacey." He explained, cheeks warming as he realised Connor caught him staring. 

Nodding in understanding, Connor leant back on the couch and subconsciously pressed his face into the collar of his hoodie. It was too easy, to start nibbling on the collars fabric.

"If you chew a hole in my hoodie, you owe me a new one Connors." Miitka said, poking Connor's cheek affectionately, "hungry?"

He stared down at the hoodie and realised he had indeed been nibbling on Miitka's hoodie. Because of course he was. 

Connor tilted his head back up to suggest something for dinner but the thought didn't make it very far. 

Miitka was staring at him, eyes flicking over his face as he waited for a response.

Was he close? Connor couldn't tell, maybe he was going crossed eyed to look at the faint, faint freckles on the one side of Miitka's face.

Suddenly the softly playing TV wasn't there.

The humming of the fridge from the kitchen was non-existent.

They just stared. 

Miitka had never been very good at graceful, or helping himself. So when he felt the gentle weight of it, he tapped Connor on the nose and shuffled to the kitchen.

Connor realised how hard he'd be gripping the couch as he watched his friend leg it to the kitchen. 

He was hoping it wasn't an escape attempt because he'd fucked it up. God he did not want to fuck it up.

Miitka rested his head on the fridge door and tried to remember to breathe.

What was it that Shane had said? Oh right, scared Mitty, sometimes you do it scared.

Yeah Miitka was fucking terrified. 

"Hey, um, I'm sorry if that was weird." Connor said softly.

Miitka just about fell on his ass, yelping in fear having not heard Connor shuffle up next to him.

It broke whatever tension had bubbled in and they couldn't help but laugh. 

They sat on the floor of the kitchen, backs against the cabinets and the lingering huffs of laughter loosening the air. 

Connor, deciding he didn't really give a damn, leant his head on to Miitkas shoulder. 

"So, we can try and cook something, though I've been told my cooking ability could hospitalise an army." Connor explained, suddenly on a tangent, "I'd beg to differ but Vincent is firm on that, so ordering in is also an option, the menus are on the fridge- hmm? Oh."

Miitka, in a surge of either admirable bravery or a different dimension of stupid, slipped at hand along Connors jaw and kissed him.

It was a gentle kiss, a soft press of of hesitation. 

Miitka pulled back and stared wide eyed, "fuck, Connor I'm, well fuck I'm not sorry but I didn't mean to just do that."

Connor caught on to the bravery and slipped into Miitka's lap, hands pressing to the sides of the mans face.

"Jesus Soren, you don't know how badly I wanted to do that before." 

"You? Oh, um, shit I didn't actually think past kissing you."

Connor could feel the blush growing on Soren's face under his hands. The adorable flush of pink creeping in as he tried to come up with some intelligent to say.

Well fuck intelligent thoughts Connor decided and kissed Soren again. This time with a bit more force and a bit more teeth then intended.

Soren's hands slipping under his hoodie, gripping at his waist told Connor he didn't mind. Not a bit.

Dinner could wait.

Fuck, the whole world and its needs could wait.

Connor pulled back and felt a rolling heat over his shoulders as Soren tried to follow. Connor dodged him and tucked his face comfortably into Soren's neck, where the collar of his own Boston Bears hoodie rested, and nibbled at the soft skin.

Soren's hands gripped him tighter and Connor would do a lot of things to hear the pitched sigh that the other let out again. 

Smiling, Connor realised he'd happily stay there om his kitchen floor till his legs went number if it meant Soren Miitka would stay too.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

- Ilya and Mitty -

 

Ilya: did you kiss him yet?

Ilya: I'd like to win bet

Mitty: pardon you?

Ilya: OH YOU DID

Ilya: When? Cause Shane may have beat me

Mitty: you betted??? 

Ilya: oh fuck you actually did

Ilya: good for you

Mitty: you're strange Ilya Rozanov, very strange 

Ilya: yes yes

Ilya: now was it this morning or this afternoon cause Shane had this morning down

Mitty: ....you win

Ilya: HA

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

- Shane and Mitty -

 

Shane: you couldn't have done it like an HOUR earlier?

Mitty: Captain ☠️

Shane: you don't get to ruin my fun here

Shane: Mr. Group Chat with the Captains Suspected Mrs.

Mitty: ...good point

Mitty: thank you for the advice though, it worked

Shane: lived experience buddy, lived experience 

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

- Shane and Connor -

 

Shane: are you alive?

Connor: mom I think I love him

Shane: oh jesus

Shane: god give me strength 

Shane: this was NOT in the parenting book

Connor: 😍

Shane: fucking hell kid

 

Chapter End Notes

HEHEHEHE

(I honest to god hope this was something nice and its liked, if not just ignore the whole chapter and we can pretend I didn't write it)

So I kinda lied, I didnt write the moment where they switched hoodies, just them making out on the kitchen floor IN the hoodies ✨️👀✨️

Chapter 27: Boston Meets Revenge (and Shane Meets Svetlana)

Chapter Summary

HEY HEEYYYY

I did not expect the absolute tidal wave of love on that last chapter holy shit.

Cause I love y'all so much for that, can confirm, there's a draft project rn just for those two geese.

I also have two drafted for Shane and Ilya.
 

What did Mitty actually ask? Maybe you find out here, maybe not.

 

ANYWAY, let's meet Sveta (finally) and see Kent get bent on the ice like a twistie 🥰

Chapter Notes

I can seem some of y'all looked at the playlist, sweeties 😍

I have revived my tumblr so if anyone wants that to chat or something - @shipping-at-2-am

Also! The tumblr for the fanart is @wilmvandrr - please got check out the TWO (holy shit they made two and I love them) they have made for this fic.

Support and love on them please cause holy shit its beautiful and I'm putting it on my wall 🥹💞

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- The Children -

 

Drapeau: aye Boston Boys

Comeau: do us a favour 

JJ: squish Kent 

Hayden: preferably bleeding 

Mitty: or out for the foreseeable future 

Marlow: well that got violent 

Connors: was already the plan 🫡

St-Simon: will take the time in the box for this

Carmichael: he'll regret showing up

Ilya: dead man

Comeau: atta boys

Drapeau: beautiful 

JJ: and no one tells Captain we coordinated 

Hayden: no loose lips or we all suffer

Mitty: he's gonna know about two minutes in

Connors: worth the rage, Kent is a twit 

Ilya: Hollander will put us all time out

Ilya: might as well get good hit in

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

 

- Jane and The Bears -

 

Shane: what the literal hell

Shane: was that

Shane: you are ALL in the sin bin

Shane: STOP GOING FOR HIM

Shane: you are so sleeping outside next time

Shane: regret it all when you see this 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Shane -

 

Shane: we talked about this

Shane: call me when you can 

Shane: so in the shit

Shane: you're lucky you look attractive 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

-  Jane and The Bears -

 

Connors: mom

Connors: are you mad?

Marlow: ...we had the best intentions 

St-Simon: clean game was the idea

Carmichael: please dont make us sleep in the shed 😭

Shane: you're lucky you can still come over

Shane: I'm not mad

Connors: oh god dont say it

Marlow: may not recover if he goes for it

St-Simon: mercy?

Carmichael: he's gonna say it

Shane: I'm just disappointed 

Connors: well shit 😭

Carmichael: yep right in the gut

St-Simon: I should not feel as scolded as I do right now

St-Simon: my wife is wondering why I look shameful 

Marlow: brb drinking my shame away 

Shane: silly, stupid, big boy hockey players 

Shane: smh 

Connors: 😭😭

Shane: a media report just came in

Shane: Vincent, YOU BROKE HIS NOSE

St-Simon: it made a very good crunch noise 

Shane: oh my god

Marlow: I take credit for the black eye though 

Shane: no!

Shane: we do not take credit for this

Shane: oh my god

Connors: 😊

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

 

- Connor and Soren -

 

Soren: now that was a satisfying game to watch

Connor: oh you did watch!

Soren: okay, 1. Wouldn't miss watching Kent get bent on the ice like a bit of cardboard

Soren: 2. Ofc I watched, you were playing

Connor: oh..

Connor: well um

Soren: are you blushing?

Connor: shut up

Soren: 👀

Connor: stop it

Soren: I didn't say anything 

Connor: I know what ur thinking 

Connor: I'm on a bus full of teammates 

Soren: and what am I thinking Connor?

Connor: NOPe

Connor: you're being muted 

Soren: am I though?

Soren: or are you just gonna stare at the screen and go even more pink?

Soren: Connor?

Soren: I'm right aren't I?

Connor: I may actually block you

Soren: you won't

Connor: this is why we can't have nice things Miitka

Soren: well I have a nice thing 

Connor: ACK

Soren: did I say you looked hot?

Connor: SOREN

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Svetlana and Ilya -

 

Sveta: Ilya

Sveta: care to tell me why you suddenly are out to kill Toronto's centre?

Ilya: he is dick

Sveta: uh huh

Sveta: nothing to do with his attack on Hollander?

Ilya: you are crazy

Sveta: mmm

Sveta: how's Jane?

Ilya: Sveta 

Sveta: Ilyaaa

Sveta: I thought we were past denial phase 😔 

Ilya: denial?!

Sveta: sweet baby Ilyushka

Ilya: I block you now

Sveta: can I have his number?

Ilya: crazy woman

Sveta: borringggg

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Shane -

 

Ilya: I have question

Shane: will you admit conspiring to have the whole Bears roster flatten Kent into the ice was a bad idea?

Ilya: no

Shane: worth a shot

Shane: what's your question 

Ilya: about Svetlana 

Shane: hm?

Ilya: she would like your number 

Shane: huh?

Shane: why?

Shane: does she know Jane is me??

Ilya: because she likes to torture me

Ilya: she knows Jane is really a man

Ilya: not you

Shane: ...

Shane: would you feel comfortable telling her it's me?

Ilya: I would not unless you said okay

Shane: not the question Ilya 

Shane: do you want to tell her?

Ilya: ...

Ilya: yes

Ilya: she is best friend, lile family, I trust her

Shane: then tell her

Shane: and she can have my number 

Ilya: ???

Ilya: why?

Shane: because you should be able to tell friends too

Shane: my best friend knows, my parents know

Shane: you should tell her if you want too

Ilya: oh

Ilya: I call you

Shane: okay

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Shane: I love you

Ilya: ya tebya lyublyu

Shane: tell her yeah?

Ilya: okie

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Svetlana and Ilya -

 

Ilya: play nice

Ilya: he is shy 

- Ilya Has Shared One Contact to the Chat -

Sveta: I will be very nice 

Sveta: 😊

Ilya: I regret everything 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Svetlana and Shane -

 

Svetlana: well hello pretty boy

Shane: oh, um, hello

Svetlana: oh you are sweetheart

Svetlana: have Ilya wrapped around pinkie 

Shane: I wouldnt say that

Svetlana: I do

Svetlana: you are nervous yes?

Shane: yes

Svetlana: and if I have embarrassing childhood stories of Ilya?

Shane: 👀

Shane: not so nervous 

Svetlana: I like you already 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Ilya: what you tell him?

Ilya: he will not stop laughing at me

Sveta: nothing nothing

Sveta: just baby Ilyushka stories

Ilya: Svetlana 

Sveta: kisses xoxo

Ilya: !!!

 

Chapter End Notes

Last chapter was the most commented on ever so the darlings will continue to be included in this story too cause y'all seem to like it as much as me 😍

Also so sorry to the people who thought they went crazy for seeing chap 27 and not 26 - my bad, I forgot to rearrange the chapters before positing lmao.

Chapter 28: Boston and Montreal Meet The News

Chapter Summary

Babes the outages are killing me, im writing in my notes app and I send my thoughts to the team working hard to get it back up and running for us.

Bless their cotton socks.

 

ANYWAY HI
WELCOME TO THE NEXT INSTALMENT OF CRACK.

Chapter Notes

Did I write Shane angst in my notes while the site was down thats around 1400 words.... yes.

Yes I did.

Because I need therapy 🥰

If your subscribed to the series this fic was added too, you'll know when that and the Ilya centred fic I'm writing comes out!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- The Children -

 

- Hayden Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Hayden: aint not fucking way

Hayden: AINT NO FUCKIN WAY

Drapeau: oh sweet baby jesus 

Comeau: naahhhh that's a joke

JJ: what the fuck

Mitty: I dont think its a joke

Connors: we fucking wish it was

Marlow: tears have been cried

Carmichael: I might puke again

St-Simon: I get the reason but fuck me dead

Hayden: what the fuck is worth going to OTTAWA of all places dude

Ilya: for Shane

JJ: holy shit

Hayden: dude

Mitty: makes sense now fucking hell

Drapeau: is Shane gonna leg it next

Comeau: DONT PUT THAT THOUGHT OUT THERE

Ilya: yes was my master plan

Ilya: with Mitty too

Mitty: AYE I GET TO COME TOO?

Hayden: you better not holy shit

Hayden: did Shane know?

Ilya: yes

Drapeau: I was about to ask how he held on to that secret 

Drapeau: then I remembered 

Ilya: it is miracle you do not have 10 bastard children 

Ilya: how do you remember anything with dumb head

Drapeau: deserved ☠️

JJ: back to the point 

JJ: RIP the bears, sorry boys

Carmichael: we were doing so well 😭

Marlow: im crying again 

Connors: man this sucks

Connors: couldn't Mom come to us 😭

Hayden: no

JJ: nope

Comeau: ur not having him 

Mitty: not our Captain too 😭☠️

Connors: why cant we share 😭

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

- Sveta and Ilya -

 

Sveta: care to explain?

Ilya: I love him Sveta 

Sveta: enough to go to shitty team?

Ilya: working progress 

Sveta: 😔

Sveta: no matter, I just watch voyagers game

Sveta: pretty boy will win 

Ilya: Sveta!!

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

- Svetlana and Shane -

 

Svetlana: you keep winning the games

Svetlana: Ilyushka will be loosing 😔

Shane: ...yeah fair

Svetlana: HA YOU ADMIT IT TOO

Shane: I suggested it offhandedly and he went with it 😭

Shane: I love him too but damn 

Shane: an adjustment period for this one

Svetlana: better be nicest Canadian team ever 😤 

Shane: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Svetlana: you better, as it is said, put a ring on it Hollander 

Shane: planning too

Svetlana: oh

Svetlana: ебать

Shane: yeah I was gonna talk to you about it

Svetlana: why me?

Shane: you're what he has as family that isn't tied to me or his team

Shane: ...would we be able to work out you coming here?

Svetlana: I had been worried, when he told me about Ottawa 

Svetlana: Ilya loves with his whole self, I worried it would not be matched by anyone 

Shane: that's understandable 

Svetlana: before you get in that pretty head

Svetlana: I mean I do not worry now I know he is with you

Shane: oh

Svetlana: thank you

Svetlana: now when are you asking so I can plan my flights 

Shane: 😊

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.

- Marlow and Shane -

 

Marlow: hey shaney

Shane: still not sure where that came from

Shane: but anyway, what's up?

Marlow: I had a favour to ask

Marlow: about Connor

Shane: yeah of course

Marlow: he wont say it, but hes nervous you wont want to talk to us/him as much once Rozzy leaves 

Shane: does he really think that?

Marlow: nothing you did

Marlow: He's just gotten attached to you 

Shane: thank you for telling me

Shane: but just cause Ilya is leaving doesnt mean he wont, or I wont, be talking to you like normal

Marlow: thanks buddy

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

- Connor and Shane -

 

Shane: Connor 

Connor: hi 

Shane: you know you're not getting rid of me that easily, right?

Connor: ???

Shane: Marlow told me, you dont have to worry

Shane: I dont talk to you because you were on the same team as Ilya 

Shane: I talk to you because I like you

Connor: oh 

Connor: mom 😭

Shane: besides, someone has a very particular relationship with my goalie 

Connor: 👀

Shane: you cant lie to me about that

Shane: its like looking at a mirror 

Connor: without the ten years of drama

Shane: it wasnt drama

Connor: you legit have a miscommunication troupe, dont even

Shane: a what??

Connor: I NEED you to read the books from the list I gave you 

Connor: you need education on this

Shane: I dont really read those genres but I'll give it a go

Connor: 🥳

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

- Connor and Soren -

 

Connor: is your front door a key or a pass code 

Soren: eh?

Connor: humour me

Soren: oh gates a passcode 

Soren: door is a key

Connor: right right

Connor: ...if I was sending you something 

Soren: Connor are you high

Connor: no 😭

Connor: just how would one get said package past the gate before you get home

Soren: um well, usually my post goes to a place where I pick it up from if im not home so

Soren: I can give you that address?

Connor: fuck this is too difficult 

Soren: Connor?? Are you okay?

Connor: im outside of your fucking high tech gate damnit 

Connor: was trying to sneak in 😭

Soren: OH 

Soren: OHHH

Soren: wait hold on, I'll text you the code 

Connor: thank you

Soren: spare key is in the lock box, same code but reversed to get it out

Soren: get inside and warm

Soren: I'll be home as quickly as I can

Connor: you're trying to bar me from stealing another hoodie aren't you

Soren: I would usually refute that 

Soren: but sweetheart, I'm on minimal hoodies left now 

Soren: have mercy 😭

Connor: too late 

- Connor Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Soren: ...

Soren: fuck 

Connor: 😉

Soren: 15 minutes 

Chapter End Notes

I couldn't not give you SorCon? MitCon? Whatever, couldn't not give you them while you wait so nicely for their spin off.

Gotta feed the children.

MWAH.

So... Ottawa chat fic anyone? 👀 (I went from no energy in writing/life to new job, four new fics, enjoying the fuck out of it all again and I have you all to thank for it, it means more to me then you know)

Chapter 29: Jane Meet Ottawa, Ottawa Meet Jane

Chapter Summary

Now the Cens take the stage, we gotta do a throw back to Miss Jane cause they dont know Shane like the Bears do 😭

I see your requests for the Cens to be in the Children chat, I can confirm that's happening but if in that chat time someone doesnt say a lot remember im breaking up a convo between 13 kids and Ilya ☠️

ENJOY, MWAH.

Chapter Notes

We are BACK BACK.

 

Thank you for the love on the second addition to my little misc series - My Good Name is a Shane centred fic in a more canon setting but baby girl gets to say fuck you more 😘

Also my christ the chapter count is getting hiGH.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Shane and Connor -

 

Shane: Connor

Connor: yes mom?

Shane: did being your mom not warrant a warning?

Connor: eh?

Connor: what's wrong??

Shane: started reading one of the books on the list you gave me

Connor: yeah?

Connor: im not sure what would've warranted a warning 

Shane: I'll give you a minute 

Connor: um

Connor: OH

Connor: OH GOD

Shane: mmhm

Connor: I FORGOT ABOUT THE SEX

Shane: not that im a prude or anything 

Shane: but Connor I was reading this on the BUS

Connor: OH SORRY

Shane: HAYDEN READ IT OVER MY SHOULDER

Connor: oopsie?

Connor: like you said, ur not a prude

Shane: but I didnt need to know what sex scenes YOUR reading 

Shane: not when your cuddled up to my goalie 😭

Connor: WHELP

Connor: pay back for the back scratches we were all witness too

Shane: 😭

Connor: do you see what I mean by miscommunication troupe now?

Shane: dont talk to your mother like that

Connor: AHAHAH YOU DO GET IT NOW 

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cens - 

 

- Bood Has Added Rozanov to the Chat -

Bood: welcome welcome 

Haas: hi hi

Hayes: this is still too fucking wild

Dykstra: cant believe it

Rozanov: hello

Bood: so Rozanov 

Rozanov: you can call me Roz

Bood: even better

Dykstra: why the fuck did you come to this team?

Haas: dude!

Hayes: subtlety aint you're strong point brother 

Rozanov: is okay, it worked better for me

Bood: vague but a fair explanation to people you just met

Bood: you seem media trained, Harris will loooveee you

Hayes: Ilya Rozanov? Media trained?

Haas: that doesnt seem like the right statement 

Dykstra: load of shitttt

Rozanov: media training hates to see me

Rozanov: I'm just careful 

Rozanov: sometimes

Bood: 👀👀👀

Dykstra: dude you are nosey as

Hayes: says you?? 

Haas: pot meet kettle

Dykstra: oi

Rozanov: 👀

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Bears and Rozzy -

 

Marlow: come baaaacCcKkKk

Carmichael: they wont love you like ussssss

Connors: PLLLEEEAASSEEEE

St-Simon: this shit sucks asss

Rozzy: I am aware 

Rozzy: did you watch the game?

St-Simon: yeah...

Marlow: tough watch Rozzy

Carmichael: you'll get em fixed up

Connors: should've stolen Mom and stayed here 

Rozzy: you have very funny imagination 

Rozzy: Shane? Playing for Boston?

St-Simon: yeah that was never happened 

Connors: BOOO

Connors: not with that attitude it wasnt 

Marlow: how is it, being closer to him?

Rozzy: amazing 

Carmichael: despite our whinging 

Carmichael: we are really happy for you and Shane getting to be closer 

Rozzy: he misses you too boys 

St-Simon: awh you miss us as well rozzyy

Rozzy: shut up Vincent 

St-Simon: you big softie

Rozzy: I fly back, kick ur ass 

Carmichael: there's our rozzy

Connors: not OUR fucking Rozzy now 😤 

Carmichael: dude I think ur gonna have to let Connor stay over for a week to make it up to him

Rozzy: as if he was not already in my house? All the time? When shane was here?

Connors: Mom wanted me there :)

Rozzy: you, what is it called?

Rozzy: "yapping" with my boyfriend 

Rozzy: big headache 

Connors: you love meeeee

Rozzy: Shane took you in like wet stray dog

Rozzy: am I meant to leave you outside?

Connors: R U D E

Carmichael: ☠️☠️

Marlow: OOFT

St-Simon: hes gonna tell Shane you said that rooozzzz

Rozzy: he would not

Connors: too lateeee

Rozzy: you stay on porch next time 

Connors: no I wont 

Rozzy: :o

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Shane -

 

Shane: Ilya Rozanov did you call Connor a wet stray?

Ilya: little snitch

Shane: you did not!!

Ilya: he kind of is

Shane: dont be mean to him 

Shane: he's sad you left 

Ilya: !!!

Ilya: he can be brat??

Ilya: I respond and I am bad guy??

Shane: yes

Ilya: 🤨

Shane: leave my son alone 

Ilya: unbelievable 

Ilya: no peace in my own home 

Ilya: with the ugly throw pillows 

Shane: I'm telling Sveta you called her pillows ugly 

Ilya: .... 

Ilya: ебать

Shane: xoxox

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Sveta and Ilya -

 

Sveta: you dont like my pillows? 

Ilya: I hate you all 

Sveta: Ilya 

Ilya: 😭

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cens -

 

Dykstra: now I have another question 

Hayes: two? In one day?

Bood: careful he'll fall over

Roz: is this normal for him

Haas: no

Dykstra: AYE

Dykstra: anyway 

Dykstra: is there a new addition to the WAGs chat as well Roz? 

Bood: actually Cassie has been on my ass about that 

Dykstra: so has Caitlin

Hayes: dont even, Lisa pounced on me as walked in the door like an ambush 

Hayes: she thinks Roz moved here too be closer to a girl 

Haas: Roz?

Roz: sorry sorry, was doing dishes 

Roz: um, not for the WAG chat but there is someone 

Roz: they are shy, so no WAG chat

Roz: yet

Bood: holy shit Lisa was right??

Bood: actually Cassie said it too

Dykstra: Caitlin is gonna f l i p

Haas: are you secretly married 👀

Roz: oh no ha

Roz: not married 

Bood: do we get to meet this mystery person orrrr

Bood: cause I host a killer fucking house party 

Roz: they have busy schedule, long distance 

Haas: ah man that's rough 

Dykstra: yeah this shits hard with my wife being here while im gone, couldn't imagine if we both had fly in and fly out schedules 

Hayes: that's cool though Roz, its good youre happy

Roz: thank you :)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Mini Cens Chat -

 

Bood: I did, potentially a very dumb thing

Hayes: not new

Dykstra: what now

Haas: is Harris going to need to play catch up?

Bood: so Roz left his open with a contact up 

Haas: you did not

Dykstra: HE JUST GOT HERE

Hayes: hes gonna kill us

Bood: IT WAS RIGHT THERE

Haas: oh my god you stole the persons number didnt you

Bood: I PANICKED 

Dykstra: PANICKING IS DROPPING THE PHONE WHEN HE CATCHES YOU SNOOPING

Dykstra: NOT JOTTING THE NUMBER DOWN

Bood: 😭😭😭

Bood: do I just toss it??

Haas: YES

Hayes: maybe

Dykstra: um

Haas: WHAT DO YOU MEAN MAYBE

Dykstra: I mean we could

Haas: oh god

Hayes: what if we use it for good

Hayes: and plan a surprise for Roz??

Bood: omg wait yes

Bood: maybe he wont take me out for it

Haas: he absolutely still will

Bood: right so im a dead man walking 

Bood: might as well then

Hayes: 👀

Hayes: 👀

Haas: jesus christ 

Haas: 👀

 

- Bood Has Added Jane to the Chat -

 

Bood: so hi

Jane: again??? How does his happen twice 😭

Hayes: omg wait

Haas: not the response I expected 

Dykstra: 👀

Chapter End Notes

OKAY SO I WENT ROUGE AGAIN, THEY KNOW OF A JANE INSTEAD OF BEING NO NO CLUELESS TO ILYA HAVING SOMEONE CAUSE THIS WAS MORE FUN.

SUE ME

PLS DONT

CANT GIVE YOU SORCON? MITCON? IF IM BROKE AND IN COURT (I would so post chapters while in court)

 

Other fics in my draft update -

Ilya centred hurt/comfort is nearly done.

I need input on the spin off tho - do y'all want text format, a mix like this one became or just usual writing 👀

Chapter 30: Boston, Montreal and Ottawa (They Don't Meet Just Yet)

Chapter Summary

Hi babieesss

Please note the chats here are chugging the timeline along so I'm sorry if its confusing, lowkey im confused on what month it is so im just trying to mirror some events like when Barrett gets picked up, to when what used to be Shane and Ilya getting outed etc.

 

However im unmedicated, I will fight a god, I want all my gay ducks in a room so therefore fuck the timeline, its all happening now 😌✨️

Obvi as previously stated, they are not getting outed in such a manner and Montreal aren't a certain c word I will not use because my Mama raised a selectively polite daughter.

Chapter Notes

For those wondering for an update on spider-nov, it is with mixed emotions I announce I found the crispy body of the intruder in the corner of the bathroom.

RIP Spider-nov or whoever you are, better not be a different spider cause then where the fuck is the first one.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- The Cens and Rozzy Mystery Partner -

 

Bood: again??

Dykstra: this has happened before??

Hayes: im confused 

Jane: oh um

Jane: Ilyas old team pulled this too

Jane: though it was before we were dating officially so it was a bit more covert mission 

Haas: o.o

Jane: he didnt mention giving my number out though...

Bood: well um

Hayes: Bood took it

Jane: seriously how the fuck does this happen twice

Jane: RIP you, he doesnt need to be captain to make that a problem 

Haas: is he going to be mad?

Jane: im gonna take a stab and say your Luca?

Haas: yeah

Jane: you'll be fine

Jane: Bood ur dead man

Bood: f u c k

Hayes: how long have you guys been together?

Hayes: since we're already on the chopping block for this

Jane: hmm, well it depends 

Bood: on?

Jane: together in general terms or like official official 

Dykstra: y'all were fuck buddies weren't you

Haas: DUDE

Jane: he aint wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Haas: OOP

Hayes: okay so what's the full timeline here

Jane: better sit down boys

Bood: 👀👀

Jane: met in 08', started sleeping together in 2010, started dating dating in 2017

Jane: and now we're here 

Bood: holy

Hayes: fuck

Dykstra: im gonna need details, a timeline on a board and a beer

Haas: now that's a story we all wanna hear 

Bood: that was a oddly methodical explanations 

Bood: how many times have you explained that timeline 

Jane: too many 

Haas: so did you get along with his Boston team?

Jane: yeah they're lovely guys 

Hayes: hopefully you like us as well

Bood: we aint Boston but we're homey 

Dykstra: homey and Bood cooks a mean dinner

Jane: I think you're good too

Haas: yaaayy

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya -

 

Shane: Ilya we need more plates

Ilya: why? We just got new plates?

Shane: we dont have enough for everyone :(

Ilya: what do you mean?

Shane: you're team, plus my team and Boston team? 

Shane: we don't have that many plates

Ilya: ....

Ilya: sweet Canadian golden boy

Shane: dont tease me this is serious 

Ilya: easy fix?

Ilya: we buy more plates?

Shane: can you order the same plates?

Ilya: does that matter?

Shane: yes???

Ilya: okie okie

Ilya: I will order the plates 

Shane: thank you

Ilya: when did we decide we'd have all three teams in one house again?

Shane: just in case :)

Ilya: ...I am ordering new plates for a just in case dinner

Shane: yes :(

Ilya: 🤨

Shane: Ilyaaa

Ilya: fine fine 

Shane: :)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Cens and Mystery Rozzy Partner -

 

Bood: so how did y'all meeett

Jane: through work 

Hayes: wait did you work for Boston??

Haas: oop 

Dykstra: roz and a staff member huh

Jane: oh no! Sorry um

Jane: my work meant I met him

Bood: are you like a spy or something 👀

Haas: ignore him

Hayes: too many concussions 

Bood: well that's just rude

Jane: ...I'm a sports photographer

Dykstra: actually that makes a shit ton of sense 

Haas: awh cute

Hayes: oh you'd love to meet Gen then

Hayes: awesome lady 

Jane: shes the photographer for the Cens yes?

Bood: awwhh Jane's learnt the staff already 🥹

Jane: I mean yeah, Ilya talks about everyone a lot 

Hayes: hell does he?

Haas: :o

Dykstra: still can't believe he signed with us tbh

Dykstra: strange move 

Bood: dudeeee

Bood: you gotta stop being so cynical 😭

Hayes: dont look a gift horse in the mouth

Haas: I think its awesome 

Dykstra: well that's cause Roz was your idol and you lowkey had a crush on him child 

Haas: heeeyyy

Jane: wait that's sweet 

Jane: getting to play with him now

Bood: you're 100% Canadian cause what is this sweetness 

Jane: yeahhh fine

Jane: Montreal located yes

Hayes: ohhhhh that's what he meant by closer 

Bood: would you move to Ottawa?

Hayes: omfg dude you can't ask shit like that

Jane: no its okay

Jane: possibly, it'd be a lot to work out with my job so I can't just up and do it

Jane: but there isn't a lot I wouldn't do for Ilya so

Dykstra: I'm not teary what do you mean

Bood: I told Cassie I have allergies 

Hayes: oh my heart

Haas: that was beautiful 😭

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Bears and Shane -

 

St-Simon: sooO

St-Simon: Rozzy made captain 

Shane: very proud of him

Connor: he was ALREADY captain here

Shane: he's never living this down is he

Connor: nope

Shane: fair shout

Marlow: ignore him

Marlow: we are really of him

Carmichael: they seem to be cleaning up well with him there

Carmichael: would not be helping his ego

Shane: not a bit

Carmichael: I wanted to ask though 

Shane: hmm?

Carmichael: would you ever consider moving teams? 

St-Simon: big question Mick

Marlow: shit

Connor: 👀

Shane: I think I'd move to Ottawa to live

Shane: teams is, well fuck I'd go anywhere for him 

Shane: it would hurt though 

Shane: I honestly dont know how he did it, how I ever match or repay him for being the one to make that sacrifice so we could be closer

Connor: oh Shane 

St-Simon: you know you made the first show that he wanted to match right?

Shane: huh?

Carmichael: he told us a little bit about his family but not a lot 

Carmichael: you in your ever loving soul saw his hurt and came up with a charity. For his Mom.

Shane: that's a bit different 

Connor: it isn't, you never knew if you'd be able to tell anyone you were dating, but you wanted to do something which honoured his Mother and him, without question

Marlow: he teared up, telling us about it and that you'd come up with the idea 

Marlow: dont you ever think he doesn't know you love him Shane Hollander 

St-Simon: or we'll all be making a drive

Shane: oh

Connor: in the words of Roz, are you snotty again?

Shane: ...shut up

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Shane -

 

Shane: how's Barrett settling in?

Ilya: he is not what I expected 

Ilya: more scared 

Shane: maybe he wasnt actually that buddy buddy with Kent 

Ilya: I think you are right

Ilya: it is hard to tell so early

Shane: maybe he just needs a good captain to give him a hand

Shane: maybe a friend 

Ilya: you are too nice for this world

Shane: dont lie

Shane: you softie 

Ilya: I do not know what you mean

Ilya: Cannot read English 

Shane: 🤨

Ilya: mwah

Shane: you are lucky I love you

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cens -

 

- Bood Has Added Barrett to the Chat -

 

Bood: welcome welcome 

Bood: again I suppose

Bood: forgot to do this earlier sorry dude

Barrett: uhh

Barrett: what exactly is "this"?

Ilya: this is the team chat for the non-official stuff

Hayes: essentially where everyone gossips like a WAG chat 

Barrett: oh

Haas: feel free to mute

Haas: some of us yap yap yap

Bood: r u d e

Dykstra: is it when you admit its you that doesnt shut the fuck up?

Bood: and to think I was brining you lunch 

Dykstra: you already gave me the container 

Bood: f u c k

Hayes: dumbaassss

Barrett: well this is interesting 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Barrett -

 

Ilya: you can talk to these guys

Ilya: very good men

Ilya: no judgement 

Barrett: thank you, for what you said today

Ilya: just be good teammate and you will get good back

Barrett: no problems there cap

Ilya: and about Shane 

Barrett: pardon?

Ilya: Shane Hollander

Ilya: Нет on questions 

Barrett: that feels oddly significant but not on the plot list just yet

Ilya: that was strange English 

Barrett: you are strange in general 

Ilya: ...

Ilya: ✨️😌✨️

Barrett: you'd seriously thrive in a WAG chat cap

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Children -

 

Marlow: did anyone see the fucking news?

JJ: we were with Shane

Drapeau: Comeau and I weren't, what's going on?

Comeau: is everything okay?

St-Simon: Cens plane did an emergency landing, someone said something went wrong 

Connors: has anyone heard from Ilya??

 

Chapter End Notes

IM SO SORRY I DID IT AGAIN 😔

 

(Not really this was the plan)

 

....how was your day?

Chapter 31: Shane and Ilya

Chapter Summary

*shuffles up holding out the chapter like peace offering*

 

...heyyyy.... how you doing....

 

I think I've redeemed myself from the cliff hanger...

Chapter Notes

(Still not sorry, lmao, im mean)

 

MWAH

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- The Bears and Jane - 

 

St-Simon: Shane? Shane please answer buddy

Marlow: have you heard from him at all?

Connor: Shane please 

Carmichael: fuck I know the report said they landed fine but

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Children -

 

Hayden: Shane spoke with Ilya, him and the team are okay

Hayden: shaken and all needed a very strong bottle of liquor but okay

Marlow: oh thank fuck

St-Simon: fucking hell

Carmichael: god imagine if we never talked, we'd all be in the dark about Roz and Shane would be on his fucking own right now

JJ: I feel unwell

Drapeau: that shit shouldn't be able to just happen

Comeau: im with JJ, I feel queasy 

Mitty: they should postpone all the games tbh that was fucked 

Connors: they won't but Jesus

Ilya: hello children, am alive

Ilya: be nice to Shane, he is upset 

Ilya: but be nice to each other, not a good day but it is okay

Carmichael: get some rest rozzy, we'll talk soon!

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Bears and Rozzy -

 

Ilya: privately I need to tell you

Ilya: Im okay, no one was injured 

Carmichael: fuck dude 

St-Simon: you got no idea how grateful we are that you're okay

Marlow: was shitting bricks there for a second buddy

Connors: how's Shane?

Ilya: scared, he is asleep but I am worried for him

Connors: I asked Mitty, they're all staying with him 

Ilya: thank you

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal and Ilya -

 

Ilya: huh guess we never changed that chat name

Ilya: not important 

Ilya: Connors said you were all with him?

Hayden: kinda, hes in his room asleep, obviously you were on the phone

Comeau: we're camped out in the living room

Drapeau: we aint leaving cap till we can get him to you 🫡

JJ: are they cancelling your game?

Ilya: they've rescheduled it and worked out bus transport 

Ilya: all things considered 

Mitty: yeah that's fair enough 

Mitty: no plan travel for a little bit

Ilya: I'll be in Ottawa first but

Hayden: we have an off week

Hayden: we'll meet you in Ottawa with Shane

Ilya: we?

Mitty: oh we're all coming 

Ilya: eh?

Comeau: well Shane should not be driving 

Drapeau: and well

Mitty: I think we all would prefer to physically see everyone's okay 

Ilya: oh

Ilya: damn Shane was right about plates 

Hayden: I have no idea what that means but he probably was

Hayden: hes a planner 

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Soren and Connor -

 

Soren: are you okay?

Connor: I think I nearly cried when he replied 

Connor: fuck Soren 

Soren: he's okay, his team is okay

Connor: I don't think my brain will believe it till we see him 

Soren: ...what if you can?

Connor: huh?

Soren: they cancelled the games in light of what happened 

Soren: literal shock they did but wont question it

Soren: we're driving Shane to Ottawa once the Cens bus in

Soren: meet us there?

Connor: ...can I bring the Boston lot too? They'll wanna see him too

Soren: cant see why not, we can ask Shane and book a hotel so they have some space 

Connor: I love you and your brilliant brain 

Soren: 🙂

Connor: let us know when Rozzys arrival date is for Ottawa and we'll coordinate 

Soren: get some sleep Connor

Connor: hug mom for me

Soren: already did 

Connor: 🥹

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cens and Roz's Mystery Partner -

 

Jane: are you boys holding up okay?

Dykstra: I think I shit my pants literally 

Hayes: shaken but okay

Bood: puked in a bush right after not gonna lie

Haas: I wanna go home tbh

Jane: oh Luca 

Haas: I'll be okay but no planes for me for a bit thanks

Jane: are you alone or are you boarding?

Haas: I had my own place I was renting 

Jane: go with Ilya okay? 

Jane: or anyone please, do not go home on you're own

Bood: I think he would need to fight us off shoving him in one of our cars 

Hayes: honestly 

Dykstra: I think the plan was everyone go home to their family 

Haas: then Ilya said he wanted everyone at his house in a day or so after so people can just settle 

Jane: a good idea

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Shane -

 

Shane: I love you

Ilya: ya tozhe tebya lyublyu

Shane: you're team

Ilya: they are okay

Shane: no I know

Shane: I know 

Ilya: what is wrong?

Shane: Hayden wanted to drive me to you...

Ilya: yes?

Shane: plus the team...

Ilya: oh

Shane: and I pressed on Mitty (he has the resistance of a wet paper towel)

Shane: bears wanna come too 

Ilya: oh

Shane: I can tell em to go away for a bit if that is too much

Ilya: its strange sometimes to know that they all care so much

Shane: they love you Ilya (yes even Hayden dont even start) 

Shane: I love you 

Shane: I love youre new team, they treat you so well

Shane: but that doesnt mean you need to see people right now if you dont want too

Ilya: my team wants to come to my house to get together for a few hours

Shane: we can plan to arrive after they'd have left?

Ilya: Please say no, if this is too much

Ilya: but I would want you here when I get here

Ilya: I need to see you

Shane: then Ill be there

Ilya: my team?

Shane: will know and will be happy

Shane: I nearly lost you, I dont care now

Ilya: okie

Ilya: see you soon

Shane: see you soon 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Hayden secured the car into park and looked at Shane for a moment.

"I'm gonna go meet the boys at the hotel to dump our crap, you just text us when you're ready for more people yeah?" 

Shane stared at him for a moment and Hayden could see the years which have moved by that had aged them both, but it was Shane's eyes. 

The big brown eyes which were misty with tears again but looking at him with such care and thankful love.

Hayden felt his throat tighten for a minute.

His gentle friend deserved happiness.

"Go on." Hayden said softly, nodding to the door. 

Shane nodded and silently slipped out of the car and practically bolted to the door.

He gave Hayden one more glance before slipping inside.

Ilya hadn't been at the door waiting, Shane was hoping he got some sleep.

The house was quiet, and curled on the couch was Ilya, gripping his phone to his chest like he fell asleep reading Shanes updates.

Shane crept forward but stepped on the one creaky floorboard and Ilya shot up like a man possessed.

They stared at each other for a moment before they were both moving. The force of them colliding had them breathless.

Ilya gripped Shane's waist with as much strength as his arms would allow. 

Shane held his arms around Ilay's neck and shoulders, head tucked safely into his neck and cried quietly.

Ilya went to pull them to the couch but Shane gripped him harder.

"Don't, not yet." Shane whispered, "I need to know you're real." 

"Okay, okay we stay right here." Ilya agreed, swaying them as they stood, "I'm here, you're here."

Shane moved his head enough to press his face against Ilyas, with his eyes closed at first, as if he was scared when he opened them it would've been a dream.

Ilya watched him as much as he could from the angle and when Shane's eyes fluttered opened, damp and red rimmed, Ilya felt the breath dragged out of his lungs.

His Shane, his beautiful, nit-picky, oddly specific, wonderful Shane. 

"Marry me?" 

Ilya did not expect that.

"Shane?"

Shane moved his hands to frame Ilyas face and map the features. 

"I've been scared before Ilya, worried about people knowing, about public perceptions and backlash." Shane spoke with this assurance Ilya was surprised to hear right now. "But in those moments I wasn't sure if you were okay? I was fucking terrified, my new worst nightmare is not being able to get to you. If you had-" 

Shane's voice broke and tears fell freely, Ilya mimicked his hold and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. 

"I wouldn't be allowed to show it, how much I need you or love you." Shane continued, "I can't do that again Ilya, I won't."

Ilya could feel himself shaking. 

"I would not ask that of you, but is this question because of this?" Ilya asked carefully.

Shane shook his head, his beautiful eyes still red with tears.

"I've thought on this for a while, this made the big scary world more real but less important." Shane explained, "no one else, I don't one anyone else but you."

Ilya cried with him freely now, eyes moving to every feature.

"Yes." 

"Yes?"

"Da, yes, yes let's get married." 

Shane sobbed and fell into his chest, clutching Ilyas shirt.

This time Ilya shuffled them to the couch there was no resistance. They lay curled around eachother on the couch for some time, crying softly.

"So, we need to get ring yes?" Ilya asked, lips pressed to Shane's hair, "how does this work?"

"Oh, wait here." Shane said softly and Ilya had to restrain himself from whining.

Shane shuffled into their bedroom and returned with a small box. Settling back into his spot alongside Ilya, he handed the black leather box to him.

Ilya opened the lid and inside, nestled in the soft velvet was two rings, both a thin bands but one was silver, one was gold.

The silver had a diamond inset, and Ilya could see an engraving inside the band, in his handwriting sat the cyrillic translation of 'I Love You'.

The gold band had a white gold line running through the middle and it also had an engraving. This time in English, in Shane's handwriting, reading 'I Love You'. 

"Oh." Ilya was speechless.

"I got you one in gold so it matched your Mother's necklace." Shane explained, "I figured the handwriting was pretty obvious." 

Ilya pulled him into a gentle kiss and slipped to the floor, kneeling in front of Shane and slipped the silver band on his finger.

Shane followed him and mimicked the action.

They'd be okay.

The world was scary and terrifying but they would be okay.

Chapter End Notes

HOPE Y'ALL SEE WHY THIS UPDATE TOOK A DAY, I HAD IT PLANNEDDDD

 

The teams meet next babes.... how will they take the news 👀

Chapter 32: Boston and Montreal Meet Ottawa, Ottawa Meet Boston and Montreal

Chapter Summary

You may have noted an update to this fic re Chapter 1; a statement was added to there to indicate my position on the use of my work with AI and redistribution.

I love my readers here dearly, it saddens me we are at a point where comments like the one made are ones I have to consider.

I love you all, I love the engagement with this fic and wish you all the best.

(Before I could post this bit, they deleted their account so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, don't state you're gonna steal work if you dont want a response telling you I understand T&Cs and have done enough law classes to know which ones you were breaking)

Chapter Notes

Moving on from the note aboveee

Did we like the engagement? Aint no one can tell me Mr. Plan It All Hollander didn't have proper rings.

Anyway, a third installation to my Hollanov crazy has been posted - Ilya centred hurt/comfort fic, which is part III of the series this fic is under.

 

MWAH MWAH.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

 

- Sveta and Ilya -

 

Sveta: Ilya 

Ilya: I'm okay

Ilya: I'm sorry I should have called sooner then I did

Sveta: No

Sveta: No you did nothing wrong 

Sveta: how are you doing? Not this "okay" bullshit 

Ilya: Really, am okay

 

- Ilya Has Sent One Image Attachment -

 

Ilya: surprise 

Sveta: Дерьмо 

Sveta: oh Ilya 

Sveta: your Mama would be very excited Ilyushka

Ilya: I miss you

Sveta: I'll plan to come to boring Canada soon 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Svetlana and Shane -

 

Shane: I'm so sorry

Shane: I didn't even think to call you

Sveta: You were getting to him

Sveta: that is best reassurance I could get

Shane: not an excuse, he's your family

Sveta: Shane Hollander, ever the sweetheart 

Shane: :(

Sveta: do not stress 

Sveta: but that is silly thing to say because you will

Shane: you know me a little too well for someone I've not actually met in person 

Sveta: Ilya likes to talk when he's not playing tough 

Shane: ..oh

Shane: did he tell you?

Sveta: yes

Sveta: the rings, they are beautiful 

Shane: I'm sorry it kinda went different then the plan and I really wanted you to be here for him

Sveta: I think it probably went better then you had stressed about

Sveta: yes?

Shane: yes

Shane: would you still want to fly in when we had planned? 

Shane: still a surprise for him 

Sveta: of course, I need to tease him in person 

Shane: :)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cens -

 

Ilya: a heads up

Ilya: my partner is here too

Bood: ofc, I was hoping they'd get to Ottawa for you

Haas: how are you doing Cap?

Ilya: will be okay

Ilya: who did you go home with Haas?

Dykstra: he's with me

Ilya: good

Hayes: wait so we get to meet them 👀

Bood: 👀

Barrett: 👀

Dykstra: 👀

Haas: 👀

Ilya: yes yes

Ilya: you all are like puppy 

Ilya: eager, tails wagging 

Barrett: thought this was a known fact? 

Haas: Bood is essentially a golden retriever 

Ilya: I just ask you don't get all crazy 

Dykstra: dude its you're Partner, not a mythical creature 

Bood: and its your house, you want us out we go 

Ilya: honestly Luca may not get to leave

Haas: huh???

Ilya: they have habit

Ilya: you will see

Haas: im confused 

Hayes: just roll with it, Captain's partner probs will take one look at you're baby face and think oh youre my kid now

Ilya: that

Ilya: he does that

Haas: oh

Haas: okie dokie

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cens and Roz's Mystery Partner -

 

Bood: question 

Jane: for me?

Hayes: yess

Jane: fire away

Bood: kinda two

Jane: yes?

Dykstra: omfg he takes too long, can we add Barrett?

Bood: oi

Jane: go ahead?

 

- Dykstra Has Added Barrett to the Chat -

 

Barrett: hello?

Hayes: do not tell Roz

Barrett: ???

Jane: they stole my number 

Bood: BORROWED

Jane: you gonna give it back or something?

Bood: 😭

Haas: Jane is Captain's partner 

Barrett: oohhh 

Barrett: hello

Jane: hiya

Jane: how are you holding up?

Barrett: I'm okay, will be good too see everyone when its not post incident 

Dykstra: speaking of

Haas: Captain mentioned something 

Jane: ...👀

Hayes: oh hell yes it is happening 

Haas: he did say not to get all crazy

Dykstra: excited is a better word to use then

Jane: it'll be really nice to meet you all properly 

Jane: but I second what he said, please dont go all crazy 

Haas: 👀

Hayes: 👀

Barrett: 👀

Bood: 👀

Dykstra: 👀

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Smaller Cens -

 

Bood: of all the things I thought could've happened 

Dykstra: Shane McFuckin Hollander???

Haas: ignore that

Haas: THEYRE ENGAGED 

Barrett: I am now realising I dodged a massive bullet 

Hayes: eh??

Barrett: ...I contemplated asking Roz for Shane's number for like two seconds ages ago 

Hayes: oh you lucky fucker

Bood: never tell him that

Barrett: on a god above and below, that's going to my grave 

Dykstra: waittttt

Dykstra: we know before his old team and Shane's team??

Bood: HA FAVOURITE KIDS

Haas: this is about to be messsyy

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Bears and Shane -

 

Connors: we're on our waaayyyyy

St-Simon: separately apparently 

St-Simon: aye Connor

Connors: stfu

Shane: I need exactly one guess to know what that means

Marlow: Shane, Connor is obsessed with your goalie 

Carmichael: make it stooppp

Carmichael: he doesnt shut up

Shane: I mean it's a little cute

Connors: actually its very cute thank you

St-Simon: how are you and Roz doing?

Shane: we're doing good 

Shane: actually, a lot better then expected 

St-Simon: oh?

Shane: wait just one min

Shane: okay okay hes cool with me showing you

Carmichael: 👀

Marlow: 👀

Connors: 👀

St-Simon: 👀

 

- Shane Has Sent One Image Attachment -

 

Shane: surprise?

Connors: OH MY FUCKING GOD

Marlow: IS THIS REAL

Carmichael: HOLY SHIT

St-Simon: DID NOT EXPECT THAT-

Shane: to clarify, I proposed, we didnt get married just yet

Connors: IM CRYING

Marlow: IM CRYING TOO WTF

Carmichael: SO GLAD WE'RE IN A FUCKING UBER

St-Simom: CONGRATULATIONS 

Shane: thank you 😊 

Connors: OH MY GOD WE WILL LITERALLY BE LEGITIMATE CHILDREN NOW

Carmichael: AYEEEE

Marlow: CELEBRATIONS 

St-Simon: still not calling him mom

Connors: BOOOOO

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal and Ilya -

 

Ilya: news

Ilya: who is in attendance 

Hayden: we'll be there in maybe half an hour?

Ilya: no now

Hayden: right okay

JJ: am hereeee

Drapeau: 👀

Comeau: 👀

Mitty: yes? 

Mitty: would this have anything to do with why Conner yelled at his phone like a minute ago???

Ilya: yes 

 

- Ilya Has Sent One Image Attachment -

 

Mitty: HOLY SHIT I GET IT NOW

Mitty: AAYYYEEE

Comeau: DID YOU GET FUCKING MARRIED???

Hayden: DUDE WHAT THE FUCK

JJ: HUH

Drapeau: YOU WERE ALONE FOR LIKE HALF A DAY THAT WAS QUICK???

Ilya: this feels like the era where you though I was somehow pregnant 

Ilya: Shane proposed, not married yet

Hayden: looking back that assumption was so so very dumb

Hayden: BUT HOLY FUCK 

Ilya: swear jar

Hayden: fuck off, no, not you too

Ilya: I tell Shane to tell your wife

Hayden: dude!

JJ: HAYDEN WHO CARES

Drapeau: SHANES GETTING MARRIED

Comeau: MR ALL BY MYSELF IS GETTING HITCHED

Mitty: FUCKING MIRACLE 

Ilya: :)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Children -

 

Connors: well fuck this chat is about to be a lot bigger 

Hayden: too many kids

Drapeau: coming from Hayden 

Hayden: OI

Comeau: how did they manage this crazy for nearly 10 years again?

Mitty: your timeline is a bit off if we're going from when they met to now

Marlow: relationship starting to now

JJ: like fuck buddies to now?

Carmichael: or dating to now??

St-Simon: jesus christ

Connors: rozzzzzzaaaaanooovvvvvvvvv

Connors: iiiillllllyyyaaaaaaaaa

Connors: oh for fuck sakes

Connors: D A D

Ilya: what child, what???

Connors: huh that worked

Mitty: that should not have worked

St-Simon: for fuck sakessss

Ilya: what do you want at this hour?? 

Ilya: you are downstairs, what do you want??

Connors: r u d e

Connors: are you adding the cens?

St-Simon: oh good grief 

Marlow: send heLp 

Hayden: this will be interesting 

 

- Ilya Has Added Five Participants to the Chat -

 

Ilya: now shush

Bood: what is this 👀👀👀

Hayes: oh this makes sense oddly 

Barrett: eh??

Dykstra: interesting interesting 

Haas: is this how Shane felt?

Connors: probably 

Hayden: Wait

JJ: did you?

Marlow: oh my god I think they did

Carmichael: Roz you gotta start locking your phone 

St-Simon: did Ilya know?

Drapeau: better he doesnt 

Comeau: well he knows now

Mitty: RIP

Bood: well fuCk

Ilya: AGAIN

Ilya: YOU DID THIS TOO

Hayes: Luca you're up

Haas: WHAT WHY

Haas: BOOD TOOK THE NUMBER

Bood: HEY

Hayes: yeah but youre the baby of the family 

Ilya: HELLO??

Haas: we're sorry cap but we just wanted to work out a surprise for you

Haas: we didnt know "jane" was Shane 

Ilya: ...hmmm

Ilya: fine

Ilya: goodnight 

Connors: Luca, you and I are gonna be friends 

Carmichael: ah fuck here we go

Mitty: now THIS is entertainment 

Chapter End Notes

I hope this met expectations, I had a lot of fun writing it this way.

ALSO HOLY HELL??? OVER 300K HITS?? PARDONNN

My lovesss

With my two short fics out, the next one queued is my wee spin off for our SorCon boys 🥹

Also please note I'll be editing over the next few days so apologies if it sends a bunch of notifications HAHA.

Chapter 33: Boston, Montreal and Ottawa

Chapter Summary

I wrote this between watching a play through of the new Resi Evil and playing my finances like a big girl.

 

Mwah

Chapter Notes

Guess what... we have found spider-nov 2.0... in my kitchen, yaaayyy

But it gets better.

We had a baby brown snake in my hallway last week, thats the 2nd one in two months.

 

Im burning this place to the ground.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Connor and Luca -

 

Connor: why hello younger sibling

Luca: 👀👀👀

Connor: welcome to the adopted crew 

Connor: its a fun time

Luca: wont lie, absolutely thought you calling Shane, Mom, was a joke 

Luca: then I realised it wasnt a joke

Connor: he's oddly maternal 

Connor: cant help it

Luca: I think its fun

Luca: do you call Roz Dad or?

Connor: when I need too

Connor: that's a wild card I use only in extreme measures

Luca: I'm writing this down

Connor: deadass, you message Shane and call him Mom 

Connor: he won't question it

Luca: he wouldn't mind? 

Connor: oh you're a sweetie too 

Connor: seriously though, if you need anything, or just wanna talk to someone 

Connor: aside from me obviously 

Connor: message Shane or Ilya

Connor: they'll look after you

Luca: :)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

 

- Luca and Connor -

 

Luca: ...mom?

Shane: oh

Shane: yep okay, you're child number 2

Shane: what can I do for you?

Luca: tbh just wanted to see if that worked

Luca: you responded quicker then I thought 

Shane: its like a bat signal 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya -

 

- Shane Has Sent One Image Attachment -

Shane: so does this mean you baby trapped me this time? 

Ilya: ...

Ilya: shut up

Shane: HA

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Connor and Soren -

 

Soren: did seeing them in person help?

Connor: more then I can explain 

Connor: but holy shit? 

Soren: I know

Soren: theyre getting married 

Connor: it felt inevitable 

Connor: but holy shit

Soren: wanna be my date to the wedding?

Connor: what did you have someone else lined up?

Connor: was that not a given 😔

Soren: I was TRYING to be CUTE

Connor: O H

Connor: then yes

Connor: would love to be your date 

Soren: :)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

 

- The Cens -

 

Bood: is it a conflict of interest

Bood: for Ilya and Shane to be on the same team?

Ilya: we aren't?

Bood: humour me

Haas: hypothetically speaking no

Haas: as long as Captain doesnt have anything to do with Shane signing or the terms 

Bood: good to know

Ilya: why??

Dykstra: he wants to woo Shane to join Ottawa 

Ilya: Boodram why are you woo woo my fiancé?

Bood: WAIT

Bood: he means convince Shane to move teams

Bood: happy and married thank yoU

Ilya: I watch you

Bood: fml

Haas: I dont think Montreal wants to loose him

Dykstra: if they're smart they'll lock him down with long term contracts 

Hayes: if they were smart, they'd lock him in the supply room and let him out for training and games 

Ilya: he does not like socialising much

Ilya: he'd probably suggest it

Barrett: he was okay the other night though?

Ilya: he wanted to socialise then

Ilya: you try to make him be social and he will space out until he is home in his slippers 

Ilya: he is old man

Barrett: O.O

Hayes: cant blame him

Hayes: people flock to him like lost sheep 

Hayes: and he stands there but mentally, he's gone with the wind

Ilya: yes

Haas: that must suck

Ilya: he is okay

Haas: :)

Bood: back to my point 

Ilya: as much as I agree

Ilya: he would not leave Montreal 

Ilya: unless we agreed on good reason 

Barrett: you made the move though?

Ilya: yes

Ilya: made most sense

Ilya: may change later 

Bood: holding on to that 

Haas: would be cool 

Hayes: love that we're all acting casual as if we wouldn't commit a crime to play on the same team as Hollander

Dykstra: Ilya your man is lusted after 

Ilya: he is beautiful 

Ilya: would be lie if people did not

Ilya: but also

Ilya: 🔪🔪

Dykstra: oop

Haas: was waiting for that

Bood: good lord

Barrett: there's the murderous tendencies 

Hayes: ☠️

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cens and Roz's Mystery Partner -

 

Hayes: well that doesn't work anymore

Bood: one sec

 

- Bood Has Changed the Chat Name to The Cens and The Shane Hollander -

 

Shane: it did not need to be my full name

Dykstra: indeed it did

Shane: 😔

Haas: still cannot believe we had dinner with you

Shane: so the whole engaged to Ilya is whatever 

Shane: but actually having dinner with me is what's got you?

Haas: yes

Shane: fair shout I suppose 

Barrett: kinda make sense though 

Barrett: Roz has this weird sense with people hiding shit 

Barrett: like a sniffer dog

Shane: he behaves like one 

Hayes: 🤨

Hayes: that ain't some weird sex thing is it?

Shane: Luca cover your eyes

Haas: oop 

Haas: 🫣

Hayes: e w

Shane: you said it not me

Bood: n a s t y

Dykstra: we should count ourselves lucky

Dykstra: Carmichael showed me some of the texts from their chat

Barrett: I do not need to know about their sex life thanks 

Shane: xoxo

Chapter End Notes

Filler chapters are fun chapters 😌

 

My loves I have a couple of things left of my list but it's looking like we might be nearing our last stage of this fic 😔 (sobbing, throwing up, pitching a fit)

 

As we come to this time, is there anything you'd like to see?

Chapter 34: Ottawa ft. Connor and Hollanov

Chapter Summary

Hi lovliesss

This is some Ottawa moments from the meet up featured Connor cause I love him 👀

Again a bit of a filler, the next plot stage will proceed next chapter 🫡

Chapter Notes

I had a couple of ideas for our SorCon spin off, but what there stuff you wanted for them?

 

There's a 4 installation to this collection, its a mother hen Shane fic focusing on Luca mostly. Tehe.

So hello new friends I met in the tiktok comments, MWAH.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"They'll be here in about five minutes." Ilya said, sticking his head around the corner, "Are you sure?"

Shane looked up from his spot on the couch, mid text to the Boston team.

"Positive." 

Ilya leant against the wall and watched him for a moment, seeing the slight glimmer of Shanes ring reflecting in the light.

It felt surreal.

It wasn't something he'd really considered possible for himself. Resigned to love quietly, away from view. 

Now though, he could love Shane in view. His own version of loud.

A knock on the door broke the calm.

Shane raised an eyebrow at him.

"Maybe quicker then five minutes." Ilya said with a cheeky smile, "do you want to answer it or just be here?"

Shane shook his head, "I'll be in the kitchen, see them first, settle. Then let the crazy take off."

Ilya laughed and headed to his front door, hearing Shane fold the blanket he was using behind him.

Time to be loud. In plain sight.

Gathered on his front steps was majority of the Ottawa team, some partners had come along too. 

"Aye Captain!" Hayes yelled from the back of the group, "can we come in?" 

Ilya tilted his head side to side in fake consideration, "if you must." 

Stepping aside, the team shuffled in and made themselves at home in the living room. Ilya had already opened up the doors to the outdoor patio and lawn so the kids who had come along could run around. 

"So captain," Bood started, sliding up next to him and turning him toward the group, "in true Roz style you choose now of all times to introduce your partner."

"Yes yes, you're more impatient then the children." Ilya laughed

Bood made an offended squawking noise and shoved his shoulder.

Ilya smiled softly for a minute but looked a bit more fearful then the team had expected. A gentle hush fell over them again.

"Just, don't loose your sense yes?" Ilya requested and then nodded to the doorway leading to his kitchen.

A doorway which had Shane shuffling around, uncomfortable with the large set of eyes now staring at him.

"This is Shane, my fiancé." Ilya said and moved around the couch to usher him out into view. "Shane this is the team."

It quiet for maybe one minute total despite it feeling like forever before it was broken. 

By Luca Haas of all people.

"Oh my fucking god its Shane Hollander." 

Ilya barked a heavy laugh at the rookie and nudged Shane in a gentle check-in.

Shane gave him a soft smile.

"Oh my god theyre so fond its almost gross." Hayes yelled from his spot on the couch.

"Shut up, its so cute." Lisa said, shoving her husband.

"Alrighty so we aren't just staring," Cassie said, moving to the kitchen, "why won't we start up dinner so the children don't go feral."

That seemed to break the wave of shock and people moved across the outside space and kitchen.

"Wait a fucking second!" Dykstra called out eventually and got a prompt smack from Caitlin for swearing with the kids around. "You didn't say boyfriend Rozzy, you said Fiancé!"

Shane answered this time, "I proposed this morning."

"Oh we're celebrating tonight!" Hayes 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

"So I gotta ask." Hayes said, standing next to Shane who was leaning against the bench, "when the Bears went all on feral on Kent?"

"Yeah they went on the war path." Shane confirmed, "I told them to leave it but they didn't take too kindly to what was said."

Hayes nodded in understanding, "I can't say the Cens wouldn't go for blood if it happened again."

"Well then let's hope everyone learns to keep their mouths shut." Shane replied.

He thought on that for a moment, the community he had built without realising it. The people who had gathered around them, giving a home within the sport both himself and Ilya feared to loose. 

It was a rare find, he was aware of that. It made him think of Scott Hunter, who gave him and Ilya an opening.

He needed to message Scott, he wanted to extend this comfort to someone who had opened the door.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Ilya had been waiting for this particular introduction all day. 

He finally, finally got to see it happen. Hands firmly on Connor's shoulder He steered him past the lounge area where the rest of the teams mingled and to the kitchen where he knew his target was.

Baby of the team, Luca Haas.

Who currently looked like a deer in the headlights seeing his Captain approach him with another player firmly in his grip.

Luca, after coming to know his Captain, could very confidently say he was a little strange sometimes.

"Baby duck, meet baby duck." Ilya said proudly, "this why people have multiple kids, they entertain each other."

Then promptly left the room.

Luca felt bewildered but it wasn't too out of the normal for Rozanov. Connor also didn't appear too freaked out by it.

"Good to see he hasn't dulled." Connor said, "wish I could say he was less strange before."

Luca laughed, "I'm going to take a stab and say you're the one who called Shane Mom?"

Connor grinned, "in the flesh, and by Rozzys introduction, you're the newest adopted child." 

"Apparently?" Luca replied, still confused, "how does that even get decided?"

"Shane sees younger player, Shane adopts younger player, suddenly younger player has a hockey mom."

"I do not!" Shane called out as he walked past the kitchen, "you said it first."

"Ignore that, he lies." Connor responded. 

Luca grinned, "so what? I bug him from Ottawa's end with mom questions and you do it from Boston?"

"Yes. Exactly this." Connor grinned back, "oh this is going to be so much fun." 

"God help us." Shane groaned.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Bood squished himself on to the couch next to Hayes and turned to him grinning.

"What the fuck did you sniff?" Hayes asked, making a face. "You look like a horror movie kids toy with that smile."

"First of all, rude." Bood complained, "second of all, I had a plan."

"Someone get Cassie." Hayes responded, dodging Boods hand going for the back of his head. 

"Shut up would you, listen, if Roz and Hollander are married." Bood explained, "how long do you think it'd take to convince Hollander to sign to the Cens?" 

Hayes looked at him like he grew a second head, "you wanna try and convince Shane Hollander, Montreals Prince, to move to the Cens?"

 "Technically speaking, they stole Ottawa's Prince when they drafted him." Bood said in a tone that told Hayes there was no talking the stupid out of him. "So we'd just be brining him home."

"Quick sniffing things Bood."

"You're so mean to me."

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Eventually the house was quiet, the Boston and Montreal Boys returned to their hotel, and the Ottawa team all migrated home.

Shane and Ilya lay sprawled on the couch.

"I love them all dearly," Shane started, sounding out of breath, "but that was a lot of people."

Ilya groaned in agreement, but then rolled so he faced Shane more directly, taking in the sight of him, boneless on the couch.

"Yes, but you did so well." Ilya said softly, "you were open, you shared something private and did not freak out." 

"I'm surprised I didn't, if I'm being honest." Shane replied, "maybe it was knowing you were there."

"I am always going to be there." Ilya replied.

Shane bit his lip to keep it from wobbling, the meet up had been a good distraction. An intended distraction, but the thought of how close he was to loosing Ilya, it was still real in his chest. 

Ilya shuffled in and held Shane tightly, having a similar thought. 

"It didn't happen." Ilya soothed, "this is real."

"Its real." Shane repeated, "we're getting married."

"Yes. Yes we are." Ilya sounded so light, "I couldn't imagine it better."

Shane was quiet for a moment, then sat up and softly cradled Ilyas face. 

"I had an idea. You can tell me if I'm crossing a line, or being stupid."

"You are not stupid." Ilya cut in, "boring hockey player, but you are not stupid."

Shane gave him a knowing look.

"I was thinking we get a memorial plaque made, for your Mom." Shane suggested shyly, "we can set it up at the wedding, I know its not the same as her actually being there but its like her memory is involved." 

"You and her, you would have been good friends." Ilya whispered, a reminder to Shane of him talking about his Mother when they were at the cottage. "My thoughtful Shane."

Shane lay back on Ilyas chest, holding on to his shirt tightly. 

No matter the changes, the fears and challenges, nothing would take this peace from them. 

It was always theirs.

 

Chapter End Notes

To make sure you read this today:

You are loved, you are good and you deserve all the nice things.

 

Mwah.
(Yes that last bit made me teary)

Chapter 35: Many Friends

Chapter Summary

Okie dokie, this is a bit of a Shane focus chapter as you'll see.

Now I must pose a question, I've got three ways I can do what you might call the final arch (I say this, but who knows, I might just continue this forever HAHA)

Based on a vote is how we'll go, so the options are:

- I wrap it up nicely but openly so no specific ending for now.
- I whip out my angst writing (throw a brick but I promise its with a kiss) and then comfort the hell out of you.
- Go even further AU, off plot and my own events you genuinely would not know what I had planned.

Chapter Notes

Lemme tell you, despite my above question, I've got a fuck off length list of things you guys have said you'd like to see and I'd like to write.

This thing is gonna be like fucking 50 chapters.

So as long as people enjoy it, I'll be here, writing me fics.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Voyagers -

 

Hayden: so how's the wedding planning 

Drapeau: is this gonna be like the next royal wedding?

Comeau: Canada's royal wedding 

JJ: I mean it's Canada's Golden Boy so probably 

Mitty: does this make use the royal guard or royal relatives?

Shane: it makes you all fucking crazy 

Shane: Y'all are nosey nosey 

Mitty: oh come onnnn

Mitty: not even a small detail here?

Hayden: pleeaasee

JJ: dont hold out on usss

Shane: 🤨

Shane: from the team who stole a number from my phone, had a group chat with 'lily' for ages, and asked about my sex life?

Shane: we wanna go there?

Hayden: ☠️☠️☠️

JJ: right in the chest

Drapeau: you can hear his disappointed tone through text 

Comeau: its deadly 

Mitty: o u c h h h

Shane: mmhm

Shane: mind your manners 

Shane: anyway

Hayden: 👀

Shane: we were thinking of using the backyard at Ilyas place in Ottawa 

Shane: no risk of unwanted spectators 

Mitty: oh that's gonna look sick

Drapeau: anyone unwanted shows up

Comeau: gets three rosters taking them into an alleyway 

Shane: who taught you such violence 

Comeau: Rozanov 

Drapeau: Rozanov 

Hayden: Rozanov 

JJ: Rozanov 

Mitty: Rozanov 

Shane: smh

Shane: might kill him before we even make it to the wedding 

Hayden: now who's violent 

Shane: oi

Hayden: I'm running now

Drapeau: dude go quick 

Comeau: he's fast dude

JJ: oh take down

Mitty: and Pike hits the parking lot gravel, Hollander on his back

Drapeau: anyone get that on video?

Comeau: its sending now

JJ: someone send it to Rozanov 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal and Ilya -

 

- Comeau Has Sent One Video Attachment -

 

Comeau: and here we see a wild Hollander in his natural habitat 

Comeau: taking Pike out like he's a beanbag 

Ilya: he is very attractive 

Ilya: also very fast

Drapeau: why I was thinking we'd get any other reaction 

JJ: y u c k

Mitty: you'd think you'd have learnt by now

Hayden: dont joke, my ass hurts

Ilya: oh so Pike is bottom

Hayden: WHAT THE FUCK

Ilya: 👁👄👁

Ilya: what?

Ilya: am wrong?

Mitty: SPAT MY FUCKING SOUP OUT

Comeau: OOP

Drapeau: Hayden being called out part 367

JJ: such a simple claim

JJ: yet Hayden reacts like its truth ☠️☠️

Ilya: 😌

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Scott -

 

Shane: now its my turn to come across as strange but hi

Scott: how have you been?

Shane: good, great actually

Shane: how are you? And Kip?

Scott: very well, he's with me and says hi

Scott: what's up though?

Shane: I dont wanna sound like probably a bunch of other people here, and its been a long while since you came out but

Shane: thank you for being that brave, it um, it helped me a lot

Scott: oh Shane 

Scott: you don't have to thank me but its good to know it actually did help in a way

Scott: can I ask, do you have a partner?

Shane: yeah, I do, what made me reach out now actually 

Shane: we're getting married

Scott: !!!

Scott: holy fuck congratulations 

Scott: can I tell Kip, he's looking at me like I grew a second head

Shane: yes, of course 

Scott: Hi hi, Kip here, holy shit! That's awesome 🥳

Shane: :)

Scott: we 100% need to meet, I think we'd get a long great

Scott: if you want to as well, you can bring your fiancé! 

Shane: I'd have to ask him but pretty sure he'd agree 

Shane: I think

Scott: Hold on I'm sending your number to myself, Scott is getting sulky 

Scott: I'm back, and I was not

Shane: 👀

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Kip and Shane -

 

Kip: hello hello

Kip: oh this is so cool

Shane: Scott is trying to say he wasn't sulking 

Kip: lies 

Kip: he's a big sook

Shane: ☠️

Kip: now, when are you playing Scott next 👀👀

Shane: 👀

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Rose and Shane -

 

Rose: hello stranger 

Rose: are you alive 😭

Shane: yes

Shane: hi sorry

Rose: I swear if I didn't text first you'd forget about me

Rose: 😔😔

Shane: I'm sorry :(

Shane: I have some news 

Shane: if that will redeem me

Rose: 👀👀👀

 

- Shane Has Sent One Image Attachment -

 

Rose: holy

Rose: fuck

Rose: YOU ACTUALLY ASKED

Rose: YOU DIDN'T FREAK AND NOT DO IT

Shane: r u d e

Rose: 🤨

Shane: okay fair

Rose: mmhm

Rose: did he like the ring?

Shane: yes

Shane: thank you again for helping me find the designer 

Rose: I live to please 💁‍♀️

Shane: obviously youre invited yada yada

Rose: well now I'd hope so

Rose: I'm the one who told you're sad ass to talk to him

Shane: a n y w a y

Rose: 👀

Shane: I might get you to talk to Ilyas friend to help with the outside design 

Shane: I can do the physical layout but design wise I got nothing 

Shane: Ilya is about as helpful as a wet paper towel here too

Rose: oh brilliant 

Rose: 100% gimme her number 

Rose: ✨️😌✨️

Shane: I might regret this

Chapter End Notes

ALSOOOO

SORCON SPIN OFF IS NOW LIVE

ENJOY

TITLE: DOUBLE TROUBLE

Chapter 36: Sveta, Montreal and Boston

Chapter Summary

We had a Shane centred chap and now we have one for Ilya :)

 

I'm getting the general consensus that this is a keep going till I cannot anymore kinda fic *happy with that jack, I love this fic*

And the consensus us mostly go full AU rogue, minimal bricks if any and make it crack.
I got you babe, dont worry.

Chapter Notes

If you'd allow me to take a small sappy moment though:

I'm being genuinely honest when I say I had a right cry reading the comments for last chapter and the SorCon spin off.

I had lost writing for so long, it slipped from me and it was a really hard time.
Then I start this thing on a whim, and the love this has had? The beautiful comments and little corner of a community it made just brings me to happy tears.

Thank you for helping me find that joy again. Thank you.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Montreal and Ilya -

 

JJ: dude

JJ: what did you do

Hayden: it WAS you

Ilya: ...

Ilya: so hes still mad?

Mitty: mad?

Drapeau: nah buddy he's cranky

Comeau: like needs a nap but had jet-lag cranky 

JJ: what did you doooo

Hayden: cause he's about to take us out as well

Ilya: I may have 

Ilya: switched the labels on some containers to see if he'd notice....

Hayden: what the fuck

Ilya: ....he noticed

JJ: B R O T H E R

Ilya: I have plan wait

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Connor and Ilya -

 

Ilya: call ur mother 

Connor: eh?

Ilya: call Shane and make him not cranky

Connor: oh what did you do

Ilya: not the point

Connor: (ーー;)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Connor - 

 

Connor: mooommmmm

Shane: hmm?

Connor: did Roz annoy you?

Shane: ....did he say to call me?

Connor: yes

Shane: brb my lovely son

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya - 

 

Shane: get my son do to ur dirty work again

Shane: I'll get Rose to teach me how to cover my freckles with foundation 

Ilya: ！！(゜ロ゜ノ)ノ

Shane: xoxo

Ilya: this is warfare 

Shane: this is retribution 

Ilya: (ｰдｰ)

Shane: who showed you those

Ilya: show me what

Ilya: my emojis? 

Ilya: jealous? ( *´・ω)/(；д； )

Shane: stop

Ilya: (^з^)-☆

Shane: blocking you

Ilya: o( ﾟДﾟ)o

Shane: am I marrying a child?

Ilya: hm

Ilya: you are older, maybe you are creep

Shane: ...I will divorce you

Ilya: HA you would not

Shane: wanna try?

Ilya: ...

Ilya: I stop

Shane: mmhm

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Boston and Roz -

 

Ilya: check email

Marlow: 👀

Carmichael: 👀

St-Simon: 👀

Connors: 👀

Ilya: （´ 3｀)

Connors: AHH ITS THE INVITES

Carmichael: ooh these are lovelyyyy

St-Simon: this is such a full circle moment

Marlow: to think we went from stealing a number to getting their weddings invites 

Carmichael: dude shut up I'll cry

Connors: 😭😭😭

St-Simom: you did good Roz

St-Simon: we're really excited for you

Ilya: thank you boys

Ilya: even though, still stupid you went into my phone

Marlow: considering it happened twice, I think we can say its partly your fault for bad security 

Ilya: I will take that invite back

Marlow: o.o

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Sveta and Ilya - 

 

Sveta: have you decided on a suit colour?

Ilya: um

Sveta: Ilya! 

Sveta: I sent the swatches last week!

Ilya: some of these look the same

Sveta: I will pretend you didnt say that

Ilya: sveeettaaaa

Sveta: 😔😔

Ilya: ugh fine 

Ilya: hmm, either the grey in the bottom left square 

Ilya: or the dark blue

Sveta: Navy Ilya, its Navy

Ilya: blue is blue

Sveta: трахни меня

Sveta: so regular black suit is a no?

Ilya: we were black suit for work stuff

Ilya: this is not work stuff

Ilya: I wanted too ask

Sveta: yes?

Ilya: Shane has Pike as a best man

Ilya: would you stand up with me?

Sveta: oh Ilya

Sveta: you silly man, of course 

Ilya: thank you

Sveta: I'm proud of you 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Hayden and Ilya -

 

Pike: so

Rozanov: yes?

Pike: this went a lot easier in my head

Ilya: are you trying to confess love for Shane

Ilya: he will not be runaway bride 

Pike: dude

Pike: shut up

Pike: also I'll him you said he was the bride

Ilya: yeah yeah

Pike: anyway, it's about Shane

Ilya: he is okay?

Pike: yeah he's good

Ilya: then?

Pike: jesus its like talking to a wall

Pike: I wanted to tell you that what you've done for Shane, I appreciate it

Ilya: eh?

Pike: myself, his parents, the team

Pike: we've told you before, we got worried he'd just end up on his own 

Pike: without us realising he kinda did for a bit

Ilya: oh

Pike: you already do now but I mean in that long run 

Pike: You'll take care of him?

Ilya: yes

Ilya: he is safe with me

Pike: that's all I ask

Pike: he can take care of himself, hes not some helpless idiot 

Pike: but he's kind and doesnt speak up 

Ilya: I know

Ilya: promise, he will be okay 

Pike: :)

Ilya: still think youre in love with him

Pike: one moment dude, you couldn't do one moment 

Ilya: no 

Chapter End Notes

The wedding creeps closer 👀

And yes rest assured, you're getting a live wedding scene because I also argue these silly hockey men DID write their own stupid vows.

My aim is to cry writing them, so fair warning.

 

Also spidernovs relative was above my head while I made ramen, send HELP

Chapter 37: Let's Plan a Wedding

Chapter Summary

More wedding planning and details im changing/adding are revealed.

- St-Simon, Shane and Ilya -

 

St-Simon: another chat?

St-Simon: everything okay?

Shane: everything's all good

Shane: we just had a question 

Ilya: yes question 

St-Simon: fire away I guess

Shane: hypothetically, if we were to ask you to do a thing 

Ilya: hes trying to ask if you'd marry us

Shane: yeah

St-Simon: as in officiate it?

Ilya: I remembered you said you did course 

St-Simon: holy shit yes I did, like years ago 

St-Simon: started as a dare then just decided why the fuck not

Shane: ..so would you want too?

Shane: its all good if not, like no pressure

St-Simon: Shane 

Shane: yes?

Ilya: 👀

St-Simon: it'd be a fucking honour 

Shane: oh 

Shane: :)

Ilya: (*^▽^)/★*☆♪

St-Simon: something is very wrong with you Rozzy

Shane: I've tried to tell him

Ilya: rude

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Kip -

 

Kip: still all good for tonight? 

Shane: ofc 

Shane: we're just leaving now, should be about 20 minutes 

Kip: Scott's gonna die when he realises 

Shane: I'm still shocked you worked it out

Kip: please 

Kip: I've seen you two play each other

Kip: if it wasnt love it was a rivalry fuck

Shane: o.o

Kip: oh we are so talking about this whole timeline 

Shane: 🫡

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Scott -

 

Scott: there wasnt ANY other nice men?

Scott: NONE at all?

Shane: probably 

Shane: but I like this one

Scott: oh sweet summer child

Scott: I think I had a coronary 

Shane: sorry

Scott: you are not

Shane: I am not

Scott: 😭☠️

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Rozanov and Hunter -

 

Rozanov: did we kill you 

Hunter: just about

Hunter: like happy for you dude

Hunter: but jesus christ did not expect that 

Hunter: warn a man??

Rozanov: no 

Rozanov: more fun this way

Hunter: 🥲

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Rose and Svetlana -

 

Rose: okay they got Vincent as the officiant 

Svetlana: finally 

Rose: Shane's suit is on its last tailoring 

Svetalana: Ilya picked a colour eventually so his is done

Rose: we've got the candles 

Svetlana: worked out the food

Rose: fuck we're good at this

Rose: if I ever quit acting we could run a business together 

Svetlana: 👀

Svetlana: yes

Rose: although 

Rose: I dunno just feels like we're forgetting something?

Svetlana: hmm

Svetlana: we'll go over the list again 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane, Connor and Mitty -

 

Mitty: 👀👀

Connor: oohHh we got a new chat

Connor: this is perfect

Connor: why didnt I make this sooner

Shane: actually I was surprised this didnt exist already 

Shane: there is too many chats 

Shane: anyway not the focus here

Mitty: whats up cap

Connor: 👀👀

Shane: so as I've come to learn over the years 

Shane: you need witnesses for signing the marriage certificate 

Mitty: holy fuck

Shane: would you two be our witnesses?

Mitty: h o l y f u c k

Mitty: ofc

Mitty: cap I'd be honoured 

Shane: 😊

Shane: connor?

Connor: sorry sorry

Connor: mom 😭

Shane: oh my god are you crying?

Connor: no 

Shane: I'm calling you wait a sec

Connor: 😭😭

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Soren and Connor -

 

Soren: are you okay?

Connor: yeah

Connor: theyre getting married and I just got all overwhelmed 🥲

Soren: right so you're gonna be bawling at the wedding 

Soren: I'll bring tissues 

Connor: stfu 

Connor: you'll cry too, dont even

Soren: shhh

Connor: its amazing how far they've come with this

Connor: I love weddings theyre so fun

Soren: so you'd wanna have one?

Soren: a wedding I mean

Connor: you better not propose over text 😤 

Soren: oh my god 

Soren: Connor

Connor: joking joking

Connor: but yes, I'd wanna have a wedding 

Connor: ...would you?

Soren: if its too you, yes

Connor: oh

Soren: are you crying again?

Connor: fuck you 😭

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya -

 

Shane: Ilya 

Shane: oh my fucking god, Ilya

Ilya: what??? 

Ilya: whats wrong Hollander its 3am??

Shane: vows

Ilya: to sound like a Canadian 

Ilya: eh?

Shane: Ilya we have to write the vows

Ilya: now how did we forget this?

Shane: we have time like its not bad

Shane: but how did we forget that

Ilya: just want to marry you that bad

Ilya: Vincent says words, I kiss you, happy day

Shane: 🤨

Ilya: I will write good vows ✍️ 

Shane: better

Chapter 38: It's Wedding Day

Chapter Summary

We've made it my loves, time to get hitched ✨️😌✨️

 

You know starting this, I thought oh we'd get to All Stars and leave it there ☠️

Please enjoy my version of the Hollanov Wedding, where there was no fear of who was coming to support them. Where Shane had the team behind him that he deserved. Where Ilya got to have something there to remind his Mama would always be at those big moments too.

I love weddings, I think its beautiful to get to gather on the invite of a couple to celebrate just how much they love eachother.

Chapter Notes

Now I ain't saying this is tear worthy, but I tried.

I can't say I have ever been more aware that I've gone OOC here but fml these two love each other so much and I wanted it said.

 

Quick note, the italicised words are in Russian. I do not trust google translate enough here and I only speak English (and even then, not bloody well lmao)

I couldn't write the whOLE wedding.... yet (yes I'm tempted to do a separate one shot style wedding run through)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Boston and Shane -

 

St-Simon: I'm heading off now, Connors, Marlow and Mick will drive Ilya there soon with Svetlana 

Connors: Mit said Mom and Co are doing their final touches

Carmichael: how you feeling bud?

Marlow: 👀

Shane: like im going to throw up

Shane: but in a good way

Connors: how far we've come 😭

Shane: don't I'll start crying 

Carmichael: this is amazing 

St-Simon: nearly time buddy, see you soon 

Marlow: hope everyone brought tissues

Shane: :)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Yuna and David -

 

Yuna: are you boys on the way?

David: on the road now, maybe 10 away

David: how's Shane?

Yuna: teary but ready

David: what a day eh?

Yuna: our boys 🩷

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya -

 

Ilya: ya tebya lyublyu

Shane: I love you too

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Svetlana and Rose -

 

Rose: I cannot believe we nearly forgot the chairs 

Svetlana: we do not speak of it

Svetlana: they will never know 😌✨️

Rose: thank god for connections 

Rose: or we'd all be standing 

Svetlana: in these heels? 

Rose: good god no thank you

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal -

 

Hayden: all set outside, just getting people to chairs 

Mitty: Connor said theyre just about here

Drapeau: I got tissues

Comeau: fuck the garden is awesome 

JJ: time for a fucking wedding boys

Shane: thank you

Shane: for everything 

Drapeau: shut up Captain 

Drapeau: youre our boy

Comeau: ain't ever getting rid of us

Hayden: Ilya just pulled up boys

Mitty: lets goooo

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Vincent handed the small microphone to Shane, whose hands trembled. 

"Anyone who knows me, knows hockey. My life, my job and all I could focus since I could walk if you ask my parents." Shane started, voice a little wobbly, but found a pace when a few chuckles followed. "Maybe it was a fault line, but for as long as I've been in this world, I've been tethered to you."

Ilya held his gaze, Shane found he didn't need to read off the little card now.

"When we first met, you gave me the most asshole impression," Shane explained, gaining some chirps of agreement from all three teams. "But that was something I quickly learnt to be a front. Yes, you knew how to chirp and pick fun, but the person I came to know was observant. Patience without knowing you showed it. Thoughtful without overdoing it."

Shane looked up and blinked the tears away, willing his throat not to close. He could do this.

"The Ilya I came to know may not have been the one a lot of people did. Something I think my parents don't want to admit, but something my team will, is there was this thought I'd be on my own. 

"Maybe that was a fear I shared too, at one time. But when we finally pulled our heads above the water line, I knew I had worried for nothing, like usual.

"There's a simplicity with you, a genuine knowledge I don't need to calculate ten steps ahead. I may not be calm all of the time, I might be fussy but I promise to not let you sit alone. To return the quiet thoughtfulness and observance you give. To be the one you need on good and bad days."

Ilya ran a hand up Shane's shoulder to his face and used his thumb to swipe the tears away, but Shane could see the mans eyes were watery too.

"For those who may have seen the memorial chair, there is a wonderful woman who could not be here today. Ilya, the man you are, the man I love is who your Mom would be proud of. I know that and I hope you do too."

Shane paused, chewing his lip hard to keep this composure for just a little longer. Ilya though, he looked at him with such a wide-eyed wonder, like he'd happily kneel and yell it to the sky about how much he loved Shane.

"Thank you for believing we could, and not letting my head sink under it all. Forgive my accent, but to make sure you know I say it in your language too. I love you, Ilya, my world."

They were both a mess of silent tears now, and Ilya pressed their foreheads together to take a moment before taking the microphone to say his own vows.

"I do not pretend to have the same way with words. What I can say is endless but it's in my head. I didn't know when I got up that morning, all the way at the beginning, that I would meet one of the most important people in my life.

"I would not want to lie, but I think I knew that first day, that you would be that person the moment you tried to shake my hand." Ilya's voice was rough, but in the way which showed the full force of his emotions.

"I am not the nicest man, I will be loud, I will have habits which piss you off, but I will always be here. However, if you burn more of my socks, we may have a problem Hollander." 

The gathered group of loved ones cackled.

'You all laugh, but you did not witness the purge of my laundry, very bad, he showed no mercy." Ilya whined, looking at the arrangement of guests.

"It was a mercy to put those socks out of their misery Rozzy!" Marlow yelled out and Ilya flicked the finger at him.

Clearing this throat, he turned back to Shane with a soft smile.

"I think those who know me, know I don't do things in half measures. Shane you are the best thing I have achieved to win in my life. No cup, no team, no award or speech could ever be more to me then you.

 "I have learnt many hard lessons, maybe too early in life, maybe too quick. Then I see you, I see how you tick and move through it, and I do not regret it for a moment. It gave me you.

"I meant it when I said she would love you, like I do. You give me a piece of her back in a way I could not describe in English."

Shane tangled Ilyas free hand with his own and held it to his lips. 

 "Maybe simple vows are easier, I cannot say all that I promise to do for you. Shane Hollander, my boring hockey player, Mr. Real Estate, solnyshko. Never change, please, my beautiful Shane." 

The whisper in Russian was more for the two of them in quiet promise then a public proclamation.

"I knew it then, and I know it now. Forever, it will be us moving through life. My reason and light." 

Ilya handed the microphone back to Vincent but the latter waited to continue. Giving the two a moment to compose themselves and hold on to the special bubble they were in. 

"So glad we all brought tissues," Vincent said with a tearful voice, "but it is with the greatest honour, and the beautiful power of an online course, that I now pronounce you Husband and well, Husband. Yes Roz, that does mean you can now kiss him."

Ilya hardly waited for him to finish speaking before cradling Shane's face and kissing him.

Maybe others would remember the clapping, wiping their eyes or the flutter of a camera shutter.

What Shane and Ilya would remember is eachother, the pressure of the official kiss. 

Though, it wasn't that they'd ever need a wedding to show it. They were the required part to eachother, the final piece which made the world go around. 

Chapter End Notes

To be sure you read it today; you are loved, you have a place and a reason.

I hope you all have or find the space in which you flourish, where you have your sunshine and happy.

 

Thank you for be apart of my space to have that.

(Weddings make me sappy, sorry not sorry)

Chapter 39: Hollanov Meet The Public, Kind Of?

Chapter Summary

Let's set up the grand reveal babe's

 

Also I have been informed I lied in my previous chap notes... apparently the vows were worth some tears HAHA oops.

Anyway, I'm gonna write a wedding one-shot to give majority of the day

Chapter Notes

The authors curse nearly got my ass today babes.

I was driving my brother to school, going 100km/hr uphill in a rural area and my car decided then and there to go into limp mode (she died).

My roadside assist sent the tow truck to the wrong place.

I was then informed the service place was not told by roadside the car was coming, they couldn't look at it for four weeks and they dont do long term loan cars.

Had to pull out the big guns... and call my mum in, who promptly sorted it - suddenly they had time on the 14th and Roadside had organised a loan car.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Sveta and Ilya -

 

Sveta: are you going public???

Ilya: eh?

Sveta: you get seen with ring on dumbass 

Sveta: do you not have Twitter? 

Ilya: ...fuck

Sveta: 🤨

Ilya: well there goes gentle reveal 

Sveta: silly man

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya -

 

Shane: ...could be worse?

Ilya: could be worse

Shane: but now I gotta see the list of potential women they think you're married too 

Ilya: Shane it was an accident 

Shane: I'm kidding 

Shane: no need to stress, I'm the one married to you 

Shane: ain't no one else getting to see anything

 Ilya: o.o

Ilya: are you drunk? 

Shane: oi

Ilya: ( 〃▽〃)

Shane: I take it back

Shane: they can have you

Ilya: 　ﾟ　ﾟ ( Д 　)

Shane: seriously who showed you those because I need to have a talk 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal and Ilya -

 

JJ: 100% was always gonns be Roz who accidentally revealed he was married first 

Hayden: smh, it took ONE month

Drapeau: longer then I expected 

Drapeau: I betted two weeks post wedding 

Comeau: my bet was they didnt even get past the first day 

Mitty: Connor and I bet a month so I think we win

Ilya: you all are banned from my house 

Ilya: Mitty you will stay on porch

Mitty: (ToT)

Hayden: IT WAS YOU WHO SHOWED HIM THOSE 

Mitty: I did no such thing 

Ilya: it was Connor

Hayden: no actually, that makes sense

JJ: so what are you gonna do?

Ilya: two options, ignore it or address it 

Ilya: both have problems 

Drapeau: do what feels best dude

Ilya: that would be telling world it was Shane who I married

Ilya: not a current option 

Comeau: :(

Hayden: I'm sorry man, its gotta be rough

Ilya: we manage 

JJ: someone save the date

JJ: Hayden and Rozanov had a civil moment

Comeau: someone tell Holzy

Drapeau: we've hit the twilight zone

Hayden: okay now you are banned from MY house 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya -

 

Shane: so

Ilya: so

Shane: what do you want to do?

Ilya: whatever you feel best with

Shane: Ilya

Shane: that's not what I asked

Ilya: ...

Ilya: I think I will always want to be allowed to be honest about you

Ilya: but that is not my choice to make

Shane: what if we start here?

Ilya: hm?

Shane: Don't deny the rumours 

Shane: Let Mom make up a statement for you that confirms it

Shane: then some of the Cens and Boston boys could post some vague photos 

Ilya: mmhm

Ilya: then what? World knows I'm married, would you be okay with it being half a secret?

Shane: I'm not done

Ilya: (._.)

Shane: then so does my team 

Shane: and so do I

Ilya: this feels like many steps 

Shane: shh

Shane: then I get seen with my ring too

Ilya: oh

Ilya: Shane

Shane: I refuse to not ever be out with you

Shane: we've sorted your citizenship so no one can do a thing 

Ilya: your teams management?

Shane: they can fucking try me

Shane: you come first

Ilya: I'm calling you

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Yuna and Shane -

 

Shane: If I were to change teams...

Yuna: If they give you a reason too other then just wanting it, they'll be under so much paperwork it'll look like a lawsuit 

Shane: :)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal -

 

Shane: I want to be transparent 

Shane: if higher up get pissy because of who I married, I can't stay

Shane: God knows I thought I'd be here my full career, but they don't get to try me on this 

Shane: not my husband 

Hayden: we'd be crushed to loose you

JJ: but you'd have the full support of the team

Drapeau: they better fucking watch it

Drapeau: or we'll all walk out

Comeau: I second this

Mitty: dont need to tell me twice

Shane: I dont expect that of you

Hayden: Shane

Hayden: you were able to pull this team together into such a unit that its gotten three fucking cups under your Captaincy 

Hayden: that and you're our brother?

JJ: we will not let them get away with it

Drapeau: lets see their skinny asses try and sway a team of hockey players 

Comeau: aint gonna work

Shane: thank you

Mitty: we got you Cap

Mitty: as a team should

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

 - Soren and Connor -

 

Soren: I'm not sure how much you know

Soren: but Shane is talking with the higher ups once they get more public

Connor: yeah he's mentioned it

Connor: think it'll go okay?

Soren: its 50 50

Soren: they'll either not give a fuck and make him sign a disclosure of relationship 

Sorem: or they'll be fucking awful and Shane will leave 

Connor: oh Soren

Soren: I'm scared Connor

Soren: this sets a bit of a tone for the future 

Connor: now listen 

Connor: if they fuck this up, that'll be their loss

Connor: and if in the future, we make a disclosure, then we already know what we're working with

Soren: I guess

Connor: not saying your fears arent valid

Connor: but lets make a plan if the need arises 

Soren: I can work with that

Connor: maybe I can persuade you to Boston 👀

Soren: n e v e r 

Connor: (´ﾛ｀ﾉ)ﾉ

Connor: Mom he shits on my team 😭

Soren: Shane shits on your team

Connor: ...shut up

Soren: xxx

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Rose and Shane - 

 

Rose: sO

Rose: you decide to get papped with the ring and not tell me the plan (..)

Shane: IM SORRY

Shane: PROMISE

Shane: actually it was the plan but not this early fml

Shane: was meant to be AFTER more photos got posted and a little bit after his statement 

Shane: not the next damn day ☠️

Rose: oh you sweet boy

Rose: but also, fucking unfortunate 

Shane: christttt

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Boston and Shane -

 

Carmichael: how are you doing buddy?

Shane: they called and scheduled a meeting

Shane: I'm puking in my toilet 

St-Simon: oh Shane

Marlow: technically you dont have to tell them anything 

Connors: its none of their business if you got married or to who

Shane: you're right but I can't keep hiding 

Shane: its killing me

St-Simon: well Boston would have the budget for you 

Marlow: I did not think Vincent would be the shameless one here ☠️

St-Simon: just saying 

Connors: thatd be fucking cool as

Carmichael: ignoring that we lost roz so he could be closer to Shane???

St-Simon: ah damn

Shane: appreciate the sentiment Vinnie 

St-Simon: now I told you that story in confidence 

St-Simon: dont go using it against me now

Shane: xoxo

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Shane - 

 

Ilya: call me right after, yes?

Shane: as soon as I'm out of the building I'll call I promise

 

Chapter End Notes

👀👀👀

 

...

Im so sorry but I can't stop with the cliffhangers HAHAHA oops

Chapter 40: Montreal Management Meet Shane Hollander

Chapter Summary

...I can't even say sorry for the cliff-hangers anymore, I like them too much HAHAH

 

Montreal Management, time to really meet your star player.

Chapter Notes

I promise no bricks were harmed in the making of this chapter.

Maybe my sanity, maybe me thinking back to my law classes to remember if we went over contract law, but then remembering that has no impact here cause different countries. So I yanked on my psychology degree instead to play emotions.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

It wasn't particularly cold in the coach's office, but Shane could feel a shiver creeping down his spine as Theriault stared at him from across the desk. Their PR manager, Marcel, leaned against the wall behind him like a mimicked enforcer. 

"So you got married?" Marcel asked, cracking the silence, "Not something you wanted to share with any of us?"

"I told who I wanted to," Shane replied calmly. 

"It looks a little bad when the star player gets married, and the team account doesn't even post a congratulations." Marcel tried to reason.

"My marriage isn't a PR issue."

"Enough." Theriault butted in, "It's not the main reason we called you in; Marcel can chew you out later for it."

Marcel made a spluttering noise at the dismissal but shut up when the coach turned to look at him.

Shane knew that look; it was the one which said shut up and cooperate. He'd been on the end of that look before.

Theriault turned back to Shane and studied him. Shane had been under his term at Montreal as coach the entirety of his young career; he had assumed the laser focus the young man had would make it easier to guide and shape him as a player. This new public assumption would not fit with this.

"The issue is, Hollander, that there is this odd little rumour that because your wedding seems to have randomly coincided with Rozanov's," Theriault explained, as if it were a simple concept to be fixed. "Really, what would settle everything is a quick post about your new wife and move along."

"No." Shane's answer was simple.

"No?" Theriault repeated back.

Shane shrugged, "No, it's not the public's nor Montreal's business who I married, and I'm not a social fix-it because you don't like gay people."

Marcel began uttering out defences for the request and against the statement.

Theriault stared at him quietly instead, looking for a weak point or a way in.

"Unless," The coach said carefully, "It's not a rumour then?"

"Am I contractually obligated to disclose my spouse's identity to the team in any capacity?" Shane asked, not flinching. 

"That answers my question." Theriault responded, "I'm surprised in you, Shane, I expected better."

"No, you expected a straight man." Shane responded, eyes narrowed now, "And at the possibility of that being wrong, you pull rank."

"I expect Hollander that you show me the respect owed as your coach." Theriault snapped. "We have two options here."

"Which are?" Shane asked. 

"Both start with getting over this contractual bullshit; it's not something you can hide behind." Theriault said, "The first result is you release a statement stating you got married and it was a happy accident, it was the same time as your rival."

"No."

"Or, we take a look at your place here." 

There it was. The bit Shane had expected to hear but was hoping he wouldn't, that maybe there was a pocket of time where he could be himself honestly, in all parts of his life. 

Shane sighed and leaned back in his chair, instinctively running his teeth into his bottom lip.

"You could have a full career here, Shane," Theriault said smoothly, like he was closing a massive deal, "A retired number at the end of it, good standing, and maybe brought in later down the track to trial a coaching run. All of that stays on the table if you just be a good lad and do as you're told."

Shane dug his fingers harshly into the soft skin of his wrist, willing himself not to say something stupid. 

Theriault looked at him with a fake smile, like he had assumed he'd won already and Shane would bend.

"I wonder how public perception would go if they found out you threatened me because of who I married." Shane said simply, "I wonder more how Montreal's legal team would see it, if I came in with my own lawyer per my rights, and divulged unfair treatment due to sexuality. I do really wonder, how exactly that would go."

"Don't fuck this up for yourself for Rozanov of all people, Shane, don't fuck it up because you are this."

"What I am is a married man, a hockey player, and obviously smarter than you because I know the game." Shane replied simply, leaning forward, "Don't say my Husband's name, don't think you have a leg to stand upon, and don't think you get to shove me around for being gay."

"So it's true then, you confirm it?" Marcel asked, already pulling his phone from his pocket.

"Release a statement on my behalf for this team without my approval, Marcel, and my manager will bury you in so much paperwork you'll quit."

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Hollander?" Theriault snapped, the careful tone he'd been keeping finally gone, "This hiccup isn't worth your career, it isn't worth this insane attitude or burning bridges."

Shane leaned forward like he was sharing some big secret, "Call my Husband a hiccup again and see what happens. If any bridges burn, it's on you, not me."

"Where will you go? The guys won't have you when they find out."

Shane tilted his head, and a smile pulled on his lips, "They already know."

The office was silent aside from the buzzing AC.

"If you want me out, I'll go, but don't think you'll have a cooperative team left waiting. They back their Captain, the fans who want us winning will tear you to shreds for it. My name speaks on its own; the Cen's made an open offer, and other teams make open offers." Shane continued, "You might be the coach, but I'm the one playing the games, making the bonds that win, what do you have?"

"I don't know you, I don't know what this is, but it's not you, Hollander." Theriault sneered.

Shane huffed a laugh and stood, "Fight about it all you want, Theriault, but I have my standing, don't make a gamble you won't survive on."

"Is that a threat?"

"I'm not that stupid to say that on record," Shane responded, hand on the door handle.

"This was off the record," Marcel said weakly. 

Shane cast a look over his shoulder and pulled his phone from his pocket. "You really think I came in unprepared?"

"That's not legal-" Marcel tried to protest.

"One-party consent says otherwise," Shane said simply, "I choose him, every time, if you intend to trade or send me out, Coach, make it official, not a bad attempt at coercion."

Shane clicked the recording to an end and stared at the two men in the room, looking less confident than before.

"Think on it carefully, coach, I'd hate for you to be labelled a homophobe and be blamed for the Cen's having both Ilya and me on one team." Shane said lightly before looking serious, "That was a threat, by the way."

Shane closed the door behind him, the click echoing in the small office.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya - 

 

Ilya: how did it go?

Ilay: Shane?

Ilya: solnyshko please

Ilya: are you driving, please do not drive upset

Shane: hi sorry, im not driving 

Shane: I'm sitting in my car

Shane: it went about as well as you can expect 

Shane: I think he'll push them to drop me

Ilya: oh solnyshko

Shane: I recorded it

Ilya: ...you recorded it?

Shane: on my phone, I wanted proof I think

Shane: that if he goes too far, I can prove it wasnt me

Shane: they could call me difficult, they could go for my reputation 

Ilya: if he tries anything, he'll wish he retired years ago 

Ilya: can I hear it?

Shane: you want too?

Ilya: I want to know if I need to punch your coach 

Shane: well now you arent getting it

Ilya: boo

Shane: Ilya

Ilya: fine fine, no punching 

Shane: 🤨

 

- Shane Had Sent One Audio Attachment -

 

Ilya: ...I take back what I said

Ilya: I will punch his teeth out

Shane: Ilya

Ilay: Shane

Ilya: fine 

Ilya: ...you sound very hot though

Shane: (￢_￢)

Ilya: HA YOU USE THEM TOO

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cens and The Shane Hollander - 

 

Shane: can someone please check in on Ilya 

Bood: it went bad didn't it?

Shane: well it wasn't sunshine and daisies though 

Hayes: fucking assholes

Haas: :(

Shane: it'll be okay Luca, promise

Haas: its shitty as hell

Barrett: Shane please don't let them hide you away in some dark corner 

Barrett: please don't let them

Shane: they don't get to win 

Dykstra: If you want out 

Dykstra: get your manager to call Ottawa 

Dykstra: we want our boy home 

Shane: thanks bud

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal - 

 

Shane: I'll probably know by the end of today

Shane: but I have a gut feeling they'll drop me 

Hayden: bud

Shane: its okay

Drapeau: no its fucking not

Drapeau: we don't want to loose you

Comeau: its insane that this is where we are at nowadays 

JJ: we should storm the building 

Shane: no one is storming the building 

Shane: after that conversation boys I'm not sure I can stay

Mitty: Shane?

Shane: essentially I could not work with him now, not without it being an uphill fight every day

Hayden: fuck man, what did he say to you

Shane: he said its as diplomatic as possible at the start

Mitty: and then?

Shane: it did not stay very diplomatic 

Shane: I think Marcel might hate me now

JJ: the PR guy?

Shane: I might have made a not so subtle threat 

Drapeau: what the fuck did he say for you to go there

Comeau: had to be messed up enough for you to be pissed about it

Shane: its recorded 

Hayden: holy shit

Shane: if it goes to shit, this could turn ugly

Shane: I'm sorry

Mitty: Do not apologise 

Hayden: fuck that

Hayden: we're coming over

JJ: you shouldn't be alone right now 

Shane: doors open

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Boston - 

 

St-Simon: are we making a trip?

Shane: I want to say no

Shane: but I think you would regardless 

St-Simon: you'd be correct

Marlow: are you okay?

Shane: I'm tired Marley, just tired 

Carmichael: do you think they'll try to trade you?

Shane: honestly I think they might just drop me

Carmichael: oh Shane

Shane: I said what I needed too

Connors: Mom, are you safe there? 

Shane: yeah but not happy 

Connors: then its not worth it

Shane: if it were that simple 

Connors: it is

Connors: get out and be happy 

Shane: I'll work it out

Connors: work it out or suffer through it?

Carmichael: Connor hold on

Shane: no he's right 

Shane: I need to be real about it 

Marlow: you've got three teams behind you Shane 

St-Simon: give them hell Shane

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Mitty - 

 

Mitty: Shane what did he say

Mitty: please I need to know

Shane: Soren are you alone?

Shane: I'll send it to you because you deserve to know it

Shane: but not if your alone

Mitty: I'm coming to yours later with everyone else

Shane: come over now, we can sit down and talk about it

Shane: I don't want to leave you in this Soren, you arent alone

Mitty: I'll be 20 minutes 

Shane: drive safely 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Connor and Shane - 

 

Connor: is he going to be okay there

Shane: Soren will be okay, I promise 

Shane: he isnt their golden goose, he won't cop it 

Connor: and the team will have his back?

Shane: they wouldnt let anything happen to him Connor

Connor: I'm sorry 

Shane: Do not apologise for being concerned or scared 

Shane: you should question this

Connor: I love him mom

Connor: I can't let him be unsafe 

Shane: it'll be okay

Connor: and for you?

Shane: I'm waiting to see what they say on it and I'll go from there

Connor: Can I say something?

Shane: of course 

Connor: you put up with a lot of bullshit, you could've ignored us, instead you befriended us

Connor: you let me call you Mom but then actually took me in like family 

Connor: I didnt have a lot of that, and then suddenly I could call you and it felt like I did 

Shane: Connor

Connor: I'm not done

Connor: you deserve to keep playing but to be playing happy 

Connor: be happy Shane 

Shane: love ya kid

Connor: love you too Mom

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Shane sat on his couch and stared at the ceiling. 

It was draining, having to be so direct and bordering on a cruelty he didn't want to use. He wanted a good relationship with his coach; he wanted to stay and play out his career here. 

Sometimes what you want and what you need do not coexist. 

Shane was sick of not being able to coexist with general happiness. There had always been something chewing on him, always making the good in his life be challenged. 

Maybe it wouldn't matter what the outcome of Theriault's decision would be.

Maybe leaving was his best option; it wasn't running or shameful to not let yourself be in a bad situation. It wasn't his fault that protecting his safety and peace was more important than keeping someone else comfortable. 

Other people's comfort when it came to simply existing in the same space was not his responsibility. It was theirs.

His phone buzzed from the couch, and he answered without looking.

"Hi, baby, are you okay?" His Mother's soft voice came through the speaker.

He wouldn't admit that his lip wobbled, "I'm tired, Mom."

"I know, baby, I know." Yuna said softly, "I got a call from legal."

"What's the verdict?"

"If you want to agree to not divulge what happened in the office, they will keep their mouths shut, and you can continue with renewing your contract as normal." Yuna said carefully, "Now, I think they're a bunch of-"

"Mom." Shane cut her off softly.

"What do you want, Shane?" Yuna asked, "Not what you think others expect."

Shane thought of his team, his brothers. He thought of Ilya, of his beautiful Husband. He thought of the fans, the public backlash and the security he would face. 

Then he thought of himself.

He thought of his younger self and the others who move silently in a professional world that doesn't welcome them.

"I want out." Shane said strongly, "I want to sign with the Cen's."

It was the most sure Shane had felt about anything other then his vows to Ilya.

Chapter End Notes

To summarise:

We got badass Shane, we got soft Shane, we got Mom Shane all in one chapter.

I love that I started this with the full intention of only crack but then I got back into it properly, and I pulled this out of my ass.

Word count for this was 2,407 words ☠️

Chapter 41: Ottawa Meet Your New Player

Chapter Summary

Time to tell the Cen's Christmas came early this year.

Chapter Notes

Also rest assured even when this fic does end, I have another one in the works already HAHA

So right now in the drafts is:
-Wedding One-Shot
-Long WIP project

Although I have a list of potential one-shot ideas (like four atm varying from angst to crack to more badass Shane), I am far from done post in this fandom.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Cens and The Shane Hollander -

 

Dykstra: check in time

Bood: Cap said it was rocky but said you'd tell us what went down un your own time

Haas: only if your comfortable 

Shane: it was hard 

Shane: things were said 

Hayes: was it worked out?

Shane: a choice was made 

Barrett: oh Shane 

Hayes: ???

Shane: I'm leaving Montreal 

Bood: holy fuck

Haas: I'm sorry I think I read that wrong

Dykstra: we've hit the fucking twilight zone

Barrett: Shane

Shane: wasnt a choice made lightly but

Barrett: it never is

Shane: can you guys do me a favour and go to Ilyas? 

Bood: of course

Dykstra: Haas I'll pick you up

Haas: Roger that

Barrett: easy

Hayes: be there in 10

Shane: no questions??

Bood: nah if someone on the team needs us

Bood: we just go

Shane: oh

Shane: good to know

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

The team arrived rather quickly at their Captain's house, sensing Shane needed them to check on Ilya.

What they hadn't expected was for Shane himself to open the door, eyes red-rimmed. 

"Whoa, dude," Dykstra said carefully, "are you okay?"

Shane nodded and ushered them inside, where Ilya was shuffling around the kitchen. This wasn't the atmosphere they had expected. How they knew this place was lively, it was a picture of a warm home and safety.

"Shane wanted to explain in person what happened and why he's decided to leave," Ilya said eventually, after they'd all settled in on the couch. "His team know already, they know why."

Barrett had a suspicion where this was going, but he kept the thought to himself. If he was wrong, it might corner Shane into an awkward position.

"It might be easier to let you listen to this first," Shane said softly, placing his phone down on the coffee table, "then go from there."

Bood caught Barrett's gaze, both looking equally as concerned.

Shane pressed play, and his own voice came through the speaker. Quickly, the team found they could identify Montreal's coach and who was noted as the team's PR head in the background.

The conversation played through, and Barrett had to keep his fingers curled against his jeans to stop himself from lashing out physically. Hayes, Dykstra and Bood didn't look any better, all holding a murderous look in their eyes. 

The recording ended, and the room held a tense silence.

"What the fuck is wrong with people?" Luca asked, voice small.

Shane patted his shoulder and cleared his throat.

"It would be one thing to have sent that to you on a chat, but it felt better to talk in person," Shane explained, "I needed you to know that this could just turn around and bite me, that I have these issues which won't be tidied with a pretty bow."

"You don't need to defend yourself for someone else's wrongdoing," Dykstra said carefully.

"Where will you go now?" Bood asked.

Ilya and Shane looked at each other for a moment; Ilya held Shane's hand tightly before turning to his team.

"He spoke with Wiebe this morning, with the upper management." Ilya explained, "But we wanted to ask you first."

"Holy shit," Hayes whispered.

Barrett realised then his hunch had been right.

Shane tilted his head and said in a wobbly voice, "Think Ottawa might want me home?"

"Holly, I'm gonna hug you now," Bood said before launching forward in a laughing heap, "Oh, I could kiss you right now, we are so getting that cup."

Ilya smacked Bood on the back of the head, "You will not kiss him, now get off."

Shane, with the most awkward smile, pushed Bood off his lap carefully.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal - 

 

Hayden: coach is pissed

JJ: his own fucking fault we're at this point 

Drapeau: I can't look at him

Mitty: this is fucking ridiculous 

Comeau: Shane you sure you don't wanna just oust him as coach???

Shane: sorry boys

Mitty: we're proud of you for being strong enough to leave

Shane: how did everyone react? I wasn't able to give the full team a heads-up

JJ: planning the coup d'état of the century

Hayden: may be the first time someone jumps a coach in the lockers

Shane: play stupid games, win stupid prizes 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Children -

 

Connors: how's it going...

Drapeau: I want to quit 

Comeau: I want to transfer 

Hayden: I'd like to go head first into the boards at this rate 

St-Simon: oh good lord

Marlow: I'd say welcome to the club but you've got your own party going on there

Hayden: thank you Cliff, we weren't aware 

Carmichael: I'm surprised you lot didnt put in a complaint to the board 

JJ: don't tell Shane

Hayden: but we are

Mitty: he's about to go out in a name-breaking downfall 

Ilya: toast him and feed to the birds 

Ilya: tweet tweet 

Hayden: maybe if we pay one of those etsy witches...

Comeau: now how the fuck do you know about that

Drapeau: better yet, why?

Hayden: Jackie may have searched them up after Shane played the recording 

Ilya: How can I pay the etsy witch?

JJ: omg what if we ALL pay the etsy witch?

Mitty: this man about to meet his maker ☠️

Connor: hey ho, time to fucking gO

Carmichael: so I found one online with good reviews 

Ilya: (^з^)-☆

Ilya: gold star for Mick

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Bears and Shane - 

 

Shane: if you are planning a felony in that chat

Shane: we will have problems 

Connors: but moooommm

Shane: but nothingggg

Connors: boO

Shane: dont play 

St-Simon: promise no felonies 

Shane: you agreed to quickly Vin

Shane: that means there is a plan for something else 

Marlow: this man is too smart sometimes 

Shane: no criminal activity 

Carmichael: and if its not criminal?

Shane: ....

Shane: go for gold 

Connors: HELL YEAH

Shane: baby im gonna need you to take that drug test 

Connors: I thought we got past this (；ＴДＴ)

Shane: yeah no

 

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cens -

 

Haas: so I guess we have a new addition to add?

Ilya: my son is so smart 

Haas: Captain we've talked about this

Ilya: we did

Ilya: I ignore 

Haas: (;-;)

Bood: I still can't believe it

Bood: I'm crying 

Dykstra: the stolen Ottawa prince is returning 

Hayes: he's coming hoommmmeeee

 

- Ilya Has Added Shane to the Chat -

 

Shane: holy shit its actually happening 

Barrett: welcome welcome 

Shane: and you are sure this is okay?

Bood: if you EVER question that we want you here 

Bood: I'll tell the WAGs

Shane: 👁👁

Hayes: oh that's a threat and a half 

Dykstra: my guy he is not bluffing 

Shane: not risking that 

Haas: ...but does this mean we wont see the other teams as often?

Shane: oh god no they'll still be coming dont worry

Haas: yay

Ilya: see you like your siblings 

Haas: I can't escape this parental acquisition can I?

Shane: sorry kid

Shane: but no

 

Chapter End Notes

Also re the WIP idea... if y'all give me permission to include your user names that would be rather helpful.... 👀👀

(Hint hint, it's got social media features)

Chapter 42: 3 Teams Plus One Game Equal Big Feelings

Chapter Summary

First Cens game with the Husbands of Hockey ✨️

Chapter Notes

Thank you for the love on the last two chapters, I was really proud of them and it was so good to see that people liked it.

For everyone hes given me permission to use their user names, thank you! Promise all are going to be for good purposes! Aka crack comments.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Montreal -

 

Comeau: im gonna need to be sedated 

Drapeau: we lost THAT PLAYER

Hayden: brb gonna go for a walk in the woods

JJ: brb gonna go commit a felony 

Mitty: is it too late to put a transfer request in?

Hayden: unfortunately 🥲

Shane: this feels a bit dramatic 

Comeau: DRAMATIC?

Comeau: you just played one of the most beautiful games of hockey seen by man

Comeau: and we have to suffer that its not with us anymore cause of a haggard toad? 

Shane: ...damn

Drapeau: fucking stupid ass coach opening his fat ass mouth 

Hayden: ruining my yeAR 

Shane: okay okay I get it

Mitty: we arent done

Mitty: Y'ALL TELLING ME WE IN SOME UNIVERSE COULDVE KEPT SHANE AND MAYBE GOT ILYA

Mitty: IF WE DIDNT HAVE A BIGOT WITH A CLIPBOARD

Shane: okay so im sensing some big feelings here

JJ: I want to be deported 

Shane: dude where

JJ: to a ward at this point 

Shane: can someone pls check on JJ

Hayden: we're all at mine

Hayden: suffering 

Shane: oh

Shane: you watched my game together?

Drapeau: oh this has been in the calendar since we got the schedule 

Mitty: wasn't missing it

Mitty: I had Connor in facetime, the bears watched as a group too

Hayden: shane?

Comeau: better you hes snotty again

Shane: stfu Comeau 

Comeau: HA I WAS RIGHT

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Boston and Ilya - 

 

St-Simon: looking pretty fucking good Roz

Rozzy: he plays so good

Marlow: All of you man, you've yanked that team into a machined unit 

Carmichael: could not look away that game was electric 

Connors: seeing you and Mom play on the same team was like watching All-Stars again

Connors: fucking awesome 

Rozzy: cant describe how good it was to play with him again

St-Simon: bet its better knowing you're not exactly trying to hide it anymore 

Rozzy: terrifying but amazing 

Marlow: we miss you rozzy

Connors: but this was pretty much worth our loss

Carmichael: cant argue there 

Rozzy: will be even better getting to beat you with my husband (///ω///)♪

Carmichael: oh gross wait

Marlow: we have to witness the foreplay IN PERSON WITH THEM ON THE SAME TEAM

St-Simon: is it too early to forfeit 

Connors: mercy roz, please 

                                     ＼(_ _)

Rozzy: hmmm

Rozzy: no

Rozzy: he's too pretty not to look at

Rozzy: good ass too

St-Simon: fuck sakes

Marlow: T_T

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Scott and Shane - 

 

Scott: you guys killed it out there

Shane: thanks :)

Scott: happy with the new team?

Shane: I was shitting it

Shane: but it was awesome 

Scott: keep playing like you own it Kid

Shane: we will 

Scott: also Kip is asking if you're still on on for dinner next time you're down here?

Shane: ofc

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Cens -

 

Bood: if anyone ever tries to steal you from this team

Bood: I will get Haas to bite their ankles 

Haas: wtf why me

Bood: you're one of their feral children 

Bood: and Connors may not be able to fly in that quickly for the job 

Haas: 🥲

Shane: Luca isnt biting anyone 

Shane: I hope???

Haas: promise I'm not

Ilya: no one is taking my husband anywhere 

Hayes: settle it down Roz

Hayes: he just got here

Ilya: 🔪🔪

Shane: can we have one conversation where you dont threaten violence on my behalf?

Ilya: no (*^ω^)

Shane: 🤨

Ilya: ...fine no violence (for now)

Shane: better then nothing 

Barrett: Shane 'Walk em Like A Dog' Hollander proof 

Dykstra: rozzy is whipppeeddd

Shane: do I even wanna know

Haas: the people who think ur married think Roz is walked like a dog by you cause he only listens to you

Shane: oh

Shane: then yes, he's walked like a dog and hes happy to be here

Ilya: is true

Hayes: MY EYES

Dykstra: DAMN HOLLY

Bood: OH

Haas: i did not need that confirmation 

Barrett: RIP any peace we once had, its now long gone

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Esty Witch Bonus -

 

Lila: girl

Lila: remember how I said I got a curse request for some random hockey coach

Eloise: yeah?

Lila: I just got 8 more 

Lila: all for the same coach

Eloise: o.o

Eloise: what coach??

Lila: the one for the voyagers, Montreal I think

Eloise: OH MY GOD

Eloise: HES THE ONE WHO FUMBLED SHANE HOLLANDER

Lila: who??

Eloise: the one you ranked 11/10 when I had you rate random hockey players 

Lila: OH THAT ONE

Lila: girl no wonder people are pissed, he's hot as hell

Eloise: and played fucking good hockey girl

Eloise: lowkey everyone thinks hes married to Rozanov 

Lila: the Russian with the curls yes? 

Eloise: shes learning (*^▽^)/★*☆♪

Lila: babe what if the people requesting me are the players ☠️☠️

Eloise: omg imagine ☠️

Lila: ....girl it might be one of these requests says MY coach 

Eloise: ....

Eloise: better buy more candles 

Lila: I might need to talk to them about group rates 

Eloise: new market unlocked 

Eloise: pissed off hockey players 

Lila: one of these is in Russian 

Eloise: omg hollanov rise uP

Chapter End Notes

I couldn't not include the esty witches 😤✨️

Chapter 43: 3 Teams and Some Chaos

Chapter Summary

Okay okay, last one for this weekend HAHAHA

Maybe

 

Sorry the witch thing is too funny

Chapter Notes

Yes we're time jumping during this lmao sorry, a legit time frame does not exist to me.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- The Children -

 

Carmichael: okay hands up

Carmichael: who else paid the etsy witch 

Mitty: me

Connors: me

JJ: me

Hayden: me

Marlow: me

Comeau: me

Drapeau: me

JJ: me

St-Simom: me

Ilya: me as well

Carmichael: ....fuck shes good

Ilya: we keep her on speed dial 

Mitty: still cant believe it 

Connors: im throwing a party 

Hayden: I think I cried tears of relief 

Drapeau: who told Shane?

Ilya: I did

Ilya: he is having hard time with it

Hayden: tell me he's not blaming himself 

Ilya: he's just upset it came to this

Mitty: tell him we're all a lot safer with that fucker out of here

Carmichael: its big news though 

St-Simon: our coach essentially said good riddance, apparently he was an ass to deal with across the board 

JJ: should we send the witch friend a tip?

Marlow: a fucking big one 

Ilya: yes

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal -

 

Hayden: any chance you wanna come back now 😭

Mitty: the fans may carry you back

Comeau: lord pleaseeee

Shane: apologies boys

JJ: damn 

JJ: this sucks

Drapeau: hope you boys kissed that cup last time we had it

Drapeau: cause that was the last times we're seeing it 

Shane: oh come on now

Hayden: with you AND Rozanov on one team???

Hayden: aint no one else touching that cup with a ten foot poll 

Shane: its been one singular year 

Mitty: one year too long 😭

Shane: you see me nearly once a month minimum 

Mitty: we used to see you practically every week

Shane: hmmm

Shane: I've been meaning to ask 

Shane: why is Ilya giggling about a witch??

Hayden: ...

Comeau: no reason

Drapeau: none at aLL

JJ: hes lost his marbles 

Mitty: not a clue

Shane: you did not

Hayden: o.o

Shane: DID YOU PAY ONE OF THOSS ETSY WITCHES TO CURSE HIM

Mitty: whatever gave you that idea...

Shane: SOREN MIITKA 

Mitty: IT WAS THE BEARS IDEA

Shane: we'll be talking about this next dinner 

Hayden: ah fuck

Shane: swear jar

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Bears and Shane -

 

Shane: which one of you suggested it

Carmichael: fucking snitches 

Shane: im telling your wife that you hired a witch to curse my old coach into loosing his career 

Carmichael: EVERYONE PAID

Shane: all of you paid???

Connors: DUDE

Shane: Connor Connors did you pay a witch???

Connors: ...no

Shane: dont lie to me

Connors: 😭😭

St-Simon: whats going on?

Shane: Vincent St-Simon did you encourage this as well???

St-Simon: I plead the fifth 

Shane: I swear to god

Shane: Marlow stop lurking I know you helped too

Marlow: dont yell at me 😭

Shane: I cannot believe this 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya -

 

Shane: you are not encouraging any further use of fucking witchcraft 

Ilya: ...it worked?

Shane: Ilya!

Ilya: :(

Shane: stop encouraging my children into cursing people 

Shane: ...what the fuck has become my life

Ilya: very good since you met me

Shane: you can sleep on the couch

Ilya: ( ｡ﾟДﾟ｡)

Shane: Anya can sleep with me

Ilya: this is betrayal 

Shane: this is punishment 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Svetlana and Rose -

 

Rose: did Ilya message you that hes in the dog house yet?

Svetlana: he just told me

Rose: ...do we tell Shane we also paid the etsy witch?

Svetlana: no

Rose: (　＾ω＾)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Connor and Soren -

Soren: are you in trouble too 😭

Connor: he called me and gave me a ten minute lecture about ethical use of practises I dont follow and cursing people 

Soren: lucky you, im getting his rehearsed lecture in person

Connor: oh babe

Connor: good luck with that one

Soren: what support is that!

Connor: I'll pick you out a nice casket 

Soren: Connor!

Connor: would you like to pick your procession music? 

Soren: I'm actually going to smack you

Connor: 😏

Soren: I swear to god

Connor: your hot when you swear 

Soren: I'll tell Shane you asked about sticking pins in a voodoo doll

Connor: o.o

Connor: you aint ever sleeping with me again if you do

Soren: 🤨

Connor: fine that's a bluff

Soren: that was never going to work

Connor: *sigh* my boyfriend is just too good looking 

Soren: suck up

Connor: well actually 

Soren: Connor!

Connor: tehe 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Etsy Witches Bonus Part II -

 

Eloise: did you actual go through with it and curse the coach 

Lila: why?

Eloise: babe he just got the sack and the literal commissioners representative had to make a statement 

Lila: oh

Lila: well I mean they all paid so

Eloise: wonder if they tipped you

Lila: lmao let me check, probs not

Eloise: you never know

Lila: girl

Lila: they tipped me

Eloise: ...

Lila: I didnt think you could physically tip that much o.o

Eloise: oh you definitely had actual hockey players paying you for that curse 

Lila: do I like give them a thank you candle or?

Eloise: omg yes send them candles

Lila: pfft imagine they post photos of the candles 

Eloise: HA

Chapter End Notes

MWAH

You cant say I dont provide for my readers (it's an apology for the bricks thrown and cliffhangers)

Chapter 44: Boston and Montreal

Chapter Summary

Finalising the Etsy Witch Chaos... for now 👀

 

BIG NEWS

If your reading this, a new chapter for the SorCon spin off is out

AND

First chapter of my new fic, Mentioned You, is out now!

Go see if there are some familiar users 👀 (I wanna include everyone, so I'll rotate)

Chapter Notes

I wrote three chapters for three different fics tonight because the fucking car place pissed me off so bad I nearly screamed.

Then my dishwasher leaked.

Then the bread was mouldy.

I said some very offensive words.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- The Children - 

 

JJ: DID ANYONE ELSE GET A CANDLE??

Marlow: YES

Carmichael: I think our etsy witch sent us thank you candles 

Connor: its so pretty wtf

Mitty: smells amazing 

Hayden: ...did we all get the same colours or?

St-Simon: well mines blue 

Hayden: ooh nope, different colours then

Drapeau: dude this is cool

Comeau: I'm starting to understand what the ladies are talking about

Comeau: these make the space all nice

Mitty: one candle?

Comeau: ...I might be buying more

JJ: okay but if we all buy some candles?

Marlow: she might block us ☠️

Ilya: oh good we all got candles then

Ilya: I have to hide mine

Ilya: or Shane will see

Hayden: RIP he'll sniff it out

Carmichael: he'll sense a disturbance in the decor 

Connor: I give mom half a day

Mitty: nah Connor, give him the hour from when he gets home

Ilya: I will update when he works it out

Ilya: (/o＼)

Hayden: I still cant comprehend the asshole on the ice texts like this

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya -

 

Shane: Ilya 

Ilya: ...yes?

Shane: why is there a random purple candle in the living room?

Ilya: what purple candle?

Shane: Ilya

Shane: I'm looking right at it

Ilya: how you find it??

Ilya: I hid it

Shane: behind a picture frame that the candles is taller than

Shane: on the bookshelf

Shane: that I built and decorated?

Ilya: ...it was a gift?

Shane: ARE YOU BUYING FROM THE ETSY WITCH AGAIN

Ilya: IT WAS A PRESENT 

Shane: FROM THE ETSY WITCH?

Ilya: yes (..)

Shane: good lord 

Ilya: is pretty, no?

Ilya: like my pretty husband

Shane: oh no

Shane: you aint "my pretty husband"-ing your way out of this one

Shane: smh

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Children -

 

Ilya: spotted immediately 

Ilya: send heLp

Hayden: no 

Hayden: xoxo 

Ilya: ...

Marlow: oh-

Drapeau: well Pike is gonna die

Comeau: bye bye Pike

Mitty: nice knowing you Hayden 

Connors: that was bold

JJ: such high risk for so little reward 

Carmichael: RIP

St-Simon: tis the end of him

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Esty Witch Bonus Part III -

 

Lila: g i r l

Eloise: yeeaasss

Lila: I just got a candle order 

Lila: the note?

Lila: "thank you for the candles, my friends and husband are very grateful."

Eloise: G I R L

Lila: did I become the NHLs etsy witch

Eloise: Girl I think you did

Lila: does that mean I have to actually watch it now?

Eloise: Y E S

Lila: f u c k

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Theriault and Shane -

 

Theriault: hope your fucking happy Hollander 

Theriault: you cause a bunch of shit and fuck off

Shane: If you're done, thanks.

Shane: Any contact you want to have with me can go through my manager.

Theriault: This is spineless of you Hollander 

Shane: No its called professionalism, something you sorely lack.

Shane: Have a shitty day.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya -

 

Shane: he messaged me

Ilya: can I run him over now?

Shane: no

Shane: ....

Shane: maybe

Ilya: I'll hold you to that

Ilya: are you okay?

Shane: just sucks

Ilya: I know moy lyubimyy but he is gone now

Ilya: lucky not hit by my car

Shane: if he ever gets hit by a car and someone sees this you'll be suspect number 1

Ilya: they'd never catch me

Shane: sure thing 

Ilya: you have no faith in me?

Shane: to be a criminal on the run?

Shane: no

Ilya: (/--)/

Shane: I love you 

Ilya: Я тебя люблю

Chapter End Notes

MWAH

Chapter 45: World Meet Hollanov, Hollanov Meet World

Chapter Summary

Its timmmmmeeeeeeeee

 

Thank you for the love on me spamming you with three different fic chapters 🥹

Chapter Notes

I had to sit in my car and have a scream because people annoy the shit out of me (to quote myself from on these frustrating phone calls, 'To make sure I understand and for the record, you are telling me to keep the car against a contract and then hope I'm not liable because head office go home at 5 pm and no one calls e back?').

buT this made me feel better.

 

I will say, I did just realise I could use my Tumblr to yap to you between updates lmao, also that you can post videos there so maybe you can listen to my crazy out loud 🤣

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Shane and Ilya - 

 

Ilya: your sure? 

Shane: yes

Ilya: they kind of guessed anyway 

Ilya: its okay if you don't want too

Shane: I want too

Shane: We get to choose how we do this, this is how

Ilya: should we tell the teams first?

Shane: hmmm

Shane: nah

Ilya: who are you

Ilya: and what have you done with my Shane?

Shane: well that's offensive 

Shane: I can be fun

Ilya: you misunderstood 

Ilya: you are fun

Ilya: you are not drop a bomb for shits and the giggles 

Shane: 😗

Ilya: OR USE THE EMOJIS

Ilya: someone had stolen my husband 

Shane: your husband is about to lock you out of the bedroom if you dont let up

Ilya: so mean to me

Shane: illyaaaa

Ilya: I am weak man

Ilya: Cannot resist you

Shane: well I dont see you in here so?

Ilya: coming now

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Shane bit at the skin around his thumb for what felt like the fiftieth time in the past ten minutes. It didn't have to be now; it could be later, but then it was lost time. 

They had lost enough time.

"Shane," Ilya chided gently, pulling the attacked thumb from his teeth, "Will do you no good to eat your own finger off."

 He gave his husband a deadpanned stare before letting it slip to a more vulnerable gaze. 

"It will change everything," Shane said nervously, watching as Ilya seemed to tense, thinking Shane was changing his mind. "But I think I'm over waiting for that change to happen."

"We hit post and throw phones into the fire, like you did to my poor socks." Ilya responded, dodging the pillow Shane tried to smack him with, "Anya, help! Your dad attacks me!" 

Anya looked up from her bed and then promptly rolled over, straight back to sleep.

"Traitor." Ilya gasped, offended, "Hollander, you have turned our daughter against me."

Shane had to laugh now, moving around to sit between Ilya's legs, resting his back against his husband's chest. If he was going to have the confidence to do it now, he needed to be able to feel Ilya, have the physical reminder that it was okay.

Ilya hooked his chin over Shane's shoulder, moving his hand to hold their phone next to each other. A mirrored image selection and statement caption for each lay was drafted and ready to go. 

The image itself was black and white, from their wedding day and showing Shane resting his head on Ilya's shoulder. Both showing soft smiles, tired from the day but content. Yuna had taken the photo at the end of the evening.

The statements read differently, both wanting to have their own personal touch. This wasn't a business post or a team production. 

This was two men, two people. 

Showing they had made a legal commitment to each other.

In love, reflecting on a day surrounded by loved ones in complete peace.

Shane had felt the burden of being a representative of minorities for the length of his career. He knew the importance of visibility. This would be visibility.

It would also be private, because they had chosen how to do this.

They had chosen the photo, the caption and the date.

This was their own decision.

Shane kissed Ilya's cheek and nodded.

At the same time, they hit the little button to make the post. Once confirming it had been successful, both devices were set to silent and dropped carefully on the rug below the bed.

Ilya wrapped his arms tightly around Shane's middle, nose tucked into his neck and listened to his Husband's steady breathing. There was no panic, no fear or devastating retribution.  

Shane moved one hand up to curl into Ilya's hair, looping the curls around his fingers in an idled motion. His other hand lay firmly atop Ilya's.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

@shane_hollander: A lot of news has circulated recently. Speculating about a further reason for my decision to leave Montreal, as initially it had been quoted as a mutual decision based on what I wanted for my career. However, in light of recent news regarding management changes, in continued questions and just a general desire to be open, I'd like to clear it up.

I recently married my long-term partner, and while we had planned to keep it lowkey for a while, his natural ability to take the spotlight shone through when he was seen wearing his wedding ring. Naturally, I had to continue this and one-up that news frenzy by being seen wearing my own ring a week later. 

To be clear, for as long as I have had a professional career, I have loved Ilya.

There is not a game seen or played where I have not, in some way, loved him.

If you would like to believe otherwise, that isn't my business. 

@ilyarozanov I love you.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

@ilyarozanov: My love, my husband.

I do not need to explain myself, nor does Shane. 

However, we believe in the importance of visibility, of being free to be ourselves and enjoy our lives. He is one of my biggest supporters, my biggest inspiration. My beautifully boring hockey player who challenges me in every way to be the best.

@shane_hollander You are my pride, and I am forever in debt to you for what you have given me. 

....might have been on purpose to be seen with my ring, how could I not show this man off?

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's -

 

Barrett: god above and below guys

Barrett: tell me Harris knew (ToT)

Shane: dont worry we spoke to him first 

Shane: he helped us pick the photo!

Barrett: oh thank god

Barrett: thought I was going to need to console a dying coms director ☠️

Ilya: we like Harris

Ilya: would not do that to him

Bood: bulllshiiittt

Bood: you are media training worst nightmare 

Shane: hes right

Ilya: !!( ; ﾛ)ﾟ ﾟ

Ilya: betrayal 

Dykstra: okay but that aside

Dykstra: what a wicked fucking photo??

Shane: its a good one :)

Haas: its so cute!

Ilya: thank you son

Haas: I cant even say anything cause that's too exciting 

Shane: acting like you dont call me mom

Haas: ...that's different 

Ilya: sure

Hayes: sooOoO

Hayes: party?

Bood: YES

Ilya: bring Chiron yes?

Ilya: Anya misses her friend 

Barrett: ofc

Dykstra: omg your old teams are going to be spewing about missing this

Shane: I think theyre trying to storm Ottawa 

Bood: they can pry you from my cold, dead hands Holly

Ilya: 🔪🔪🔪

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Boston and Shane -

 

Connors: M O M

Connors: SHANE HOLLANDER

St-Simon: okay we agreed to do this calmly 

Marlow: NAH IM WITH THE KID

Marlow: HOOLLLANNDDEERRR

Carmichael: o.o

Shane: ....heyyy

Connors: IM REALLY PROUD OF YOU

Connors: BUT WHY DIDNT WE GET TOLD U WERE COMING OUT AS THE HOCKEY HUSBAND

Shane: surprise?

Connors: AAAHHHHH

Marlow: WE FOUND OUT LIKE COMMON FOLK FROM THE TOWN CRIER

Shane: maybe its Marley who needs that drug test

St-Simon: or a nap

Carmichael: we're so proud of you though

Shane: thank you

St-Simon: how are you coping with it?

Shane: I honestly feel better

Shane: its out because I wanted it to be

Shane: not my business what the world yaps about now

Carmichael: hes all growned up 😭

St-Simon: and to think this started cause Mick risked his ass stealing a number 

Shane: what a ride

Marlow: fuck off I'll cry 

Shane: dude

Shane: I swear you cried more then Ilya at our wedding 

Connors: he absolutely did and absolutely is bawling rn

Shane: thank you

Carmichael: for what dude?

Shane: cant 100% say for certain Ilya and I would've gotten to here without you

Shane: so thank you

St-Simon: oh

Connors: pardon me, now Im crying 

Carmichael: awwwhhhh 

Marlow: 😭

Connors: Vinnie is tearing up

St-Simon: im not

Connors: Im looking right at you

St-Simon: stfu 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal and Ilya -

 

Hayden: y'all are gonna give me a heart attack before my children do

Ilya: how tragic 

Hayden: (ーー;

Mitty: this is awesome Ilya 

Ilya: thank you Mitty

Ilya: see, he is good boy

Hayden: I give up

Drapeau: DOES THIS MEAN WE CAN ALL POST WEDDING PHOTOS NOW

Comeau: PLEASE I HAVE MANY DRUNK PHOTOS

Ilya: yes 

JJ: Holzy did not okay that 

Ilya: no

JJ: RIP, enjoy the couch

Ilya: worth it 😌

Mitty: look after our boy?

Ilya: always

Chapter End Notes

I make it a habit to say on any chapter which looks at parts of the story that deviate to make it more welcoming -

You are loved, you are the sunshine, it's okay to be the sunshine.

Chapter 46: Everyone Meets a New Part of the Internet

Chapter Summary

Now this was going to be a bit of a rock in the window chapter, not a brick, but a rock.

However, had an idea that made me laugh and this was born so yall are safe... 👀

 

Xoxo duckies

Chapter Notes

I had a tough week, but I'm here because here is a happy place.

I wanted to update my fics sooner, but I had to acknowledge I was struggling and took some time out instead.

A positive though, I'm going to see a Noah Kahan concert this year and I'm going feral about it (tickets were secured then my week went to shit)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Luca and Connor -

 

Luca: I am showing you this in full confidence it will not be traced back to me

Luca: yes?

Connor: I got you brother of mine

Luca: guess what I found 

Connor: 👀

Luca: turns out the fans are more excited about Hollanov then we thought

Connor: eh?

Luca: two words

Luca: Fan. Fiction.

Connor: no

Connor: omg no fucking way

Connor: is there actual-

Luca: y u p

Connor: Do I wanna know how you found this

Luca: no

Luca: no you do not

Luca: 😗✌️

Connor: they have no idea the level of menace you are

Connor: and I love it

Luca: spread the word?

Connor: im two steps ahead of you 

Luca: 🫡

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Bears - 

 

Connors: my source will not be revealed 

Connors: but youre NEVER gonna guess what was found

St-Simon: I fear for my sanity 

St-Simon: I will call Shane

Marlow: spill 

Carmichael: does this make use accessories to this???

Connors: yes it does

Carmichael: fuck me

St-Simon: I. Will. Call. Shane.

Connors: hehehehe

Connors: there's fanfics for them

St-Simon: oh for fUCK sakes Connor

Marlow: HAHAHAHAHA

Marlow: IM DYING WHY IS THERE SO MANY

Carmichael: brb bleaching my eyes

Carmichael: what these fuck are these tags 

St-Simon: nope that's it

St-Simon: I'm calling youre mother 

Connors: ...like my biological one or

St-Simon: IM CALLING SHANE AND HE CAN HAVE YOU 

St-Simon: too old for this shiT

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- St-Simon and Shane -

 

St-Simon: come get you're kid

St-Simon: I dont want him

St-Simon: ive got grey hairs Shane

St-Simon: and its not age related lemme tell you right now

Shane: woah wtf happened??

Shane: Vincent, are you good??

St-Simon: no 

St-Simon: hes too insane to not be on drugs

Shane: oh god what did he do

St-Simon: have a lovely look

 

- St-Simon Has Sent One Image Attachment -

 

Shane: ...

Shane: what the fuck is a fanfic?

St-Simon: oh god Shane 

St-Simon: ask your husband, im not doing this 

St-Simon: then come collect your demon spawn 

Shane: o.o

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya -

 

Shane: Ilya

Ilya: yes?

Shane: do you know what fanfic is?

Ilya: ...

Ilya: who told you this?

Shane: ???

Ilya: do not search 

Ilya: no google yes?

Shane: Ilya what 

Shane: hello??

Shane: fine im asking Connor

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

 

- Shane and Connor -

 

Shane: Connor 

Connor: Mom

Shane: whats fanfic and why are you terrorist Vincent with it?

Connor: ... 

Connor: well you see

Shane: 👀

Connor: might be easier if I call you 

Shane: okay that's worrying

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Connor threw a mental prayer out to the world for the conversation he was about to have with Shane.

How the fuck did he end up here in life?

"Can you please explain what the hell is going on?" Shane asked when the call connected, "Ilya isn't responding, and I've Vincent telling me to collect my demon spawn of a child."

"First of all, rude, I'm not demon spawn." Connor replied, mocking offence, "Second of all, your husband is a whimp."

Shane laughed, "Seriously, what is this shit about a fanfic?"

"Are you sitting? You might want to sit." Connor said, "Actually, grab your laptop and sit, it'll be easier."

"You are never beating the drug allegations, you know this, right?" Shane responded, but Connor could hear him collecting the computer and settling down, presumably on the couch. "Okay, computer is open. What am I doing?"

"Click the link I just sent to you, if you have messages synced to your computer."

"Hold on, I'm putting on speaker." Shane said, sounding concentrated, "Right, it's loading- what the fuck is this?"

"This is fanfics that people have written."

"Connor."

"About you." Connor finished, tone jumping up an octave to restrain his laughter, "Creative, right?"

Shane made a confused noise, "People are writing fake things about me? Is this with Ilya? Connor, what is going on?"

"Okay, calm down, no need to faint on me, Mom." Connor interrupted the spiral of concern, "It happens a lot with books, movies and sometimes, in your case, real people."

"Oh my god, I'm going to pass out." Shane said, before letting out a noise similar to a squawk, "Connor."

Connor waited for a moment, letting the silence hang before replying with a soft, "Yes?"

"What the fuck, is smut?"

Connor decided then, it was probably best for him to take a leisurely walk in the woods and stay out there.

"That's a real kink? Connor Connors, what the fuck!"

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Connor -

 

Shane: I wish I didnt ask

Connor: its a little flattering no?

Shane: there's things on here I didnt know existed 

Connor: ...fair point 

Shane: that's enough internet for me

Shane: for the next decade 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Connor -

 

Ilya: if you tell your mother what fanfic is

Ilya: I skin you

Connor: o.o

Connor: ... too late?

Ilya: Connor. 

Connor: IT WAS LUCA

Ilya: o.o

Connor: oh god

Ilya: Luca?

Ilya: sweet baby Luca??

Connor: I said nothing 

Connor: you didnt see that 

Ilya: one son is snitch

Ilya: the other is online too much

Ilya: why does Pike have so many kids

Ilya: stressful 

Connor: ....am I in trouble?

Ilya: yes

Connor: 😭😭

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Luca -

 

Ilya: Haas

Luca: that snitch

Luca: I did nothing 

Ilya: Luca Haas

Luca: oh god 

Luca: nope 

Luca: I tap out 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cens -

 

Luca: HELP HELP HELP

Luca: ASSISTANCE NEEDED

Bood: ???

Dykstra: whats wrong??

Shane: Luca?? Are you okay??

Shane: Are you safe??

Luca: Captain full named me and Im in trouble 

Shane: Ilya Rozanov stop scaring him

Shane: oh my god

Barrett: Ilya I'd start running if I was you

Hayes: this might be the end of Captain 

Bood: here we go, get popcorn lads

Ilya: snitch

Shane: Ilya

Ilya: he told connors about the fanfic stuff

Shane: Luca?

Luca: YOU CANT CALL ME A SNITCH THEN SNITCH

Ilya: YES I CAN

Shane: ???

Bood: this is perfection 

Dykstra: what the fuck is fanfic

Hayes: im too old for this

Barrett: Harris saw this and is now choking to death on laughter 

Luca: ....

Ilya: dont you dare

Dykstra: omg is he going to

Bood: he might pull the card

Hayes: someone get screenshots for record 

Barrett: does he dare

Luca: Mom Ilya is being mean to me

Bood: DARE HE DOES

Dykstra: and how does the captain or holly response?

Barrett: uh, guys? 

Ilya: I have been informed I must apologise 

Ilya: sorry haasy 

Luca: :(

Barrett: lmao what did Shane say

Ilya: he smack me upside the head 

Shane: scaring our rookie smh

Shane: hes a baby player, be nice

Ilya: I have been betrayed 

Shane: you're old 

Shane: suck it up

Ilya: (ノ´Д｀)ノ

Ilya: why you speak to me like this

Shane: see above 

Bood: I love this

Hayes: isnt Holly older? 

Shane: Wanna go Wyatt? 

Hayes: oop nope

Hayes: ＼(_ _)

Shane: uh huh

Bood: when the fuck did we all become so scared of Holly

Shane: 🤨

Bood: understood 

Luca: :)

Shane: :)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Connor - 

 

Connor: ...

Connor: did you get in trouble?

Ilya: stfu 

Connor: :o

Connor: r u d e

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Children -

 

Connors: so I mightve pissed Roz off

Connors: sorry in advance 

Hayden: oh good fucking lord dude

Hayden: what noW

Marlow: someone 

St-Simon: Connor

Connors: ...

Carmichael: shows Shane what fanfic was

JJ: the fuck is that 

Comeau: I hate that I know what THAT is

Drapeau: someone get the holy water 

Mitty: so none of get to know peace 

Mitty: gotcha

Hayden: aye that's YOUR boyfriend causing this

Mitty: indeed 

Connors: heyyy

Ilya: all stupid 

Ilya: it was well hidden 

Ilya: now he knows 

Ilya: *sigh*

Connors: Come on its a little funny

Ilya: 🤨

Connors: I'll shut up now

Mitty: what fanfics did you show him exactly?

Connors: their tag for their ship name

Mitty: oh god

Hayden: oh his poor brain 

 

Chapter End Notes

Remember there's nothing wrong with taking rest, and if you are struggling, please, please reach out.

Talk to someone, dont sit quietly, you're worth so much more then what a bad time might say.

Chapter 47: Team's Meet an Announcement?

Chapter Summary

Hey ho, new chapter lets goooo

 

Only a couple more that I have actually planned out 😭

 

My heart 🥹

Chapter Notes

Also y'all should be scared someone reminded me about hanahaki fics

And now im so so tempted

 

Also I got a new section of my tattoo sleeve done and damn six hours on my stomach? Not for the weak.

Much love xoxo

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Rose and Svetlana -

 

Rose: so Shane asked me something today

Svetlana: 👀

Rose: my opinions on some girl names

Svetlana: !!!

Rose: surely he wouldnt tell me that way

Svetalana: if that blonde boy did not remember to tell me at ALL

Svetlana: Shane will be a widow 

Rose: you know what girl 

Rose: that's fair

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and The Bears -

 

Shane: hey I'm taking a vote

Shane: which of these colours is better?

 

- Shane Has Sent Three Image Attachments -

 

Carmichael: whats it for?

Connors: 👀

Shane: repainting one of the guest rooms

St-Simon: dont have painters for that?

Shane: Ilya and I wanted to do it ourselves 

Shane: more personal

Marlow: hmMmm the baby yellow is cute 

Connors: I agree with Marley 

Shane: interesting

Shane: thanks 

St-Simon: 👀

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Bears -

 

St-Simon: i cannot be the only one who thought that looked like nursery colours 

Connors: omfg it does 

Marlow: o.o

Carmichael: he wouldnt be THAT blatant 

Carmichael: he stresses about everything 

Connors: I dunno he's been really chill recently 

Marlow: Didn't he just get your opinions on new sheets Connor?

Connors: well yeah cause I stay there a lot so 

St-Simon: sounds like they're making it more homey 

Carmichael: holy shit 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Montreal -

 

Ilya: oi

Ilya: Shane is sending dinner night info

Ilya: respond 

Hayden: he acts like we can't read 

Ilya: I am unsure if you can

JJ: someone's in a bad mood

Ilya: (ーー;

Mitty: you all good?

Ilya: not much sleep

Comeau: please tell me this isn't a leeway to a sex joke

Drapeau: not this early in the morning thanks

Ilya: no, house is busy 

Mitty: busy?

Ilya: you will see

Hayden: well thats ominous 

Hayden: but also hey I am raising four kids, I can read

Ilya: confirming that I will ask Jackie for parenting advice thank you

Hayden: why would you need parenting advice?

Mitty: ...aint no way

Mitty: noisy house??

Drapeau: omfg

Comeau: no way they didnt mention it

JJ: 　ﾟ　ﾟ ( Д 　)

Hayden: fucking pardon 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Hayden and Shane -

 

Hayden: tell me you didnt acquire a child and not tell me

Hayden: Shane???

Hayden: heeeyyyy

Hayden: this would be a time I really need you to respond buddy

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane, Connor and Soren -

 

Connor: mom

Connor: mom please we need confirmation or a denial here

Soren: stress level? High

Soren: boyfriend? Losing hair 

Soren: hotel? Trivago 

Connor: moOOOmMMMm

Soren: holy shit they really arent responding 

Connor: i swear to god if there is a whole ass human child

Connor: Soren I'll faint

Soren: I'll faint first 

Soren: so if Shane is ur mom

Soren: does that make him my mother in law?

Connor: yes

Soren: jesus 

Connor: makes Ilya your father in law

Soren: (,,・д・)

Connor: dont you just love me

Soren: yes

Soren: but jesus 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's -

 

Luca: dinner tonight is gonna be good

Barrett: do they know?

Ilya: no

Ilya: surprise 

Shane: Ilya is being a pest about it

Shane: said we should wait 

Hayes: omg so only we know? 

Ilya: yes

Shane: I mean we play on the same team 

Shane: would be hard to hide her

Bood: she's adorable 

Bood: makes Cassie want one

Hayes: dont even, my household is in debate on it

Luca: she's so tiny

Shane: Connor and Soren are gonna be pissed you met her first

Luca: I'm not the youngest anymore 😭

Ilya: you love you're new baby sister 

Dykstra: can we get another photo pls and thanks

Barrett: Harris would love to make a little collage for you

Shane: I'll send some photos to him

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Org Children - 

 

Hayden: are they responding to anyone 😭

Connors: n o p e

Mitty: seriously did they have a kid???

Comeau: they gotta stop doing this to us

Comeau: my heart might give out

Carmichael: but like

Carmichael: Hollanov baby?

Carmichael: its fine, I'll just die

St-Simon: you're fucking weird 

St-Simon: but I agree, too old for this surprise stuff

Hayden: I might pass out

Hayden: I thought we were clear on the potential random pregnancy when we found out Lily = Ilya

Mitty: omg remember when we didnt know 

Mitty: and thought Shane was freaking out cause Lily was pregnant 

Marlow: thats hysterical 

JJ: Holzy would pass out

JJ: he likes to plan

Hayden: Jackie said it was possible omfg we arent crazy 

Hayden: I needed her to say no

Comeau: well fuCk

Marlow: only one way to find out

Marlow: see yall tonight 

Drapeau: here we go again 

Connors: last time they were like this

Connors: they got engaged

Hayden: worst possible time to bring that up

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Org Children -

 

Hayden: I feel fucking stupid 

Marlow: we all do

St-Simon: yeaahhh

Drapeau: in hindsight 

Comeau: we should've worked that one out

Mitty: I think they're still laughing at us

Connors: I feel personally offended 

JJ: I think I died and came back

Carmichael: all of that stress 

Hayden: for it to be a fucking dog

Mitty: in their defence

Connors: its a puppy

St-Simon: Ilya is 100% behind this one

Ilya: you are correct

JJ: man

Ilya: should I be concerned you jump to pregnancy so quickly?

Connors: in our defence, Shane was showing us very nursery like wall colours 

Ilya: they are calming 

Mitty: smh

Hayden: how did we fall for this

Hayden: t w i c e

Ilya: just because you want army of children 

Ilya: does not give me magical ability to get Shane pregnant 😒 

Hayden: OH GROSS

Mitty: yuckk

St-Simon: Rozanov ☠️

Marlow: p u k i n g

Ilya: what? 

Ilya: I try but no

Connors: E W

Drapeau: someone take me out back

Comeau: brb about to go wash my eyes out with soap 

Marlow: NASTY

Carmichael: never-ending Ottawa can keep you

St-Simon: foul behaviour 

JJ: he is disgusting 

Connors: I'm telling Mom you said that

Ilya: (　ﾟ 3ﾟ)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya -

 

Shane: Ilya

Ilya: Shane

Shane: stop telling them sex related things 

Ilya: you told them sex things 

Shane: when I had never met them and they didnt know it was me

Shane: now I have dinner with these people

Shane: one is essentially my son

Shane: another by default, a son in law

Shane: stop

Ilya: (ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻

Ilya: cannot have fun in this house 

Shane: no fun eh?

Shane: guess im going to sleep then

Ilya: (ﾟДﾟ≡ﾟДﾟ)ﾞ?

Ilya: no

Shane: then get upstairs already and stop terrorising the children 

 

Chapter End Notes

You should know, y'all nearly got a cliffhanger HAHA

Chapter 48: Type of Couple Hollanov Is

Chapter Summary

Heeeyyy did someone say more crack please?

We're back with another crack filled chapter but this time, how our fine furry friends see Hollanov.

Chapter Notes

Someone said bring it on for the Hanahaki fic so guess what I'm planning out 😗✌️ (bout to dust of those angst writing skills)

 

Posting update: Mentioned You and Double Trouble should get new chapters soon xoxo (my internet is crashing out and whenever I try to format Mentioned You it lags like a c- bitch, it lags like a bitch)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Hayden and Marlow -

 

Marlow: I have literally been dying to ask this 

Marlow: but never have

Hayden: ??

Marlow: the 'we weren't dating but we broke up saga'

Hayden: oh god don't remind me

Marlow: SHANE WAS A MOPE THEN TOO?

Hayden: miserable

Hayden: like looking at a kicked, wet, shivering puppy

Marlow: Roz was like a toe stub away from the breakdown of a century

Hayden: he told us Shane was in a BAR

Hayden: we had to execute a rescue mission

Marlow:  we couldn't tell Roz we knew why he was acting like he was

Marlow: so we walked on egg shells lemme tell you 

Hayden: ever nearly slip and tell him?

Marlow: Connor got half a joke out about being strung up on an ex

Marlow: while Roz was DRIVING US

Hayden: oh god

Marlow: damn near swerved the car

Hayden: I think I tried be forceful for once

Hayden: Like sat Shane down, intervention style

Hayden: and his fucking lip WOBBLED

Marlow: enough to make anyone fold

Marlow: he's just too nice

Hayden: till he's pissed off

Marlow: fuck no

Marlow: then its duck for cover 

Hayden: unless you are Rozanov

Marlow: unless you are Rozanov

Marlow: horny fucker

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Org Children -

 

Ilya: I am getting divorce

Marlow: pardon?

Hayden: eh?

JJ: I will torch your car

Drapeau: we did not LOSE Shane Hollander

Drapeau: for you to divorce HIM

Comeau: rolling my damn sleeves up

St-Simon: roz Montreal will storm Ottawa

Connors: Mom gets full custody 

Ilya: (¬_¬ )

Ilya: he put zucchini in the fucking brownies 

Connors: on second thought

Comeau: sleeves are down

Hayden: shane wtf

Marlow: c r i m i n a l

St-Simon: actually you can't taste it

Ilya: WAS IT YOU

Ilya: WHO GAVE HIM THE IDEA

Carmichael: and this is how old Man St-Simon dies

St-Simon: no

Ilya: I am watching you

Mitty: I think I just witnessed the fastest switch-up a team could have on a player who was their captain, known to man

Connors: Soren if you tell me rn that you'd put ZUCCHINI in the brownies 

Connors: I will break up with you

Mitty: 1. gross I would never

Mitty: 2. no you wouldn't

Connors: watching you

St-Simon: would you STOP

St-Simon: fuck its like watching younger Roz and Shane

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Connor, Luca, and Soren - 

 

Luca: does Shane ever look

Luca: I dunno off in lala land?

Soren: is he watching a replay or just staring at a wall?

Luca: a wall

Luca: I think?

Connor: what's Ilya doing?

Luca: ah

Luca: that makes sense

Luca: he just left to shower

Soren: gross you're seeing Shane work out how quick he can drive them home

Luca: why are they so  g r o s s 

Connor: Mom is nasty 

Connor: I remember once, waayyyy back when we didn't know Jane = Shane

Connor: we begged 'Jane' to fix Rozzy's attitude

Connor: did not realise we were begging Shane Hollander to sext him

Luca: HA

Soren: I can't even say wtf is wrong with your team

Soren: we did the same with 'Lily'

Connor: awh

Connor: weren't we just destined to be

Luca: then there's you two 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Scott and Shane -

 

Scott: can you come and get your husband

Scott: please

Shane: ???

Shane: we literally JUST left to go to the store?

Scott: he is feral

Scott: I swear about to chew my furniture 

Shane: oh that

Shane: he needs enrichment, have a fun time

Scott: Shane!

Shane: he'll be fine

Shane: just dont give him an energy drink, or he really, really won't stop the old man jokes

Scott: you tell me this NOW

Shane: ...

Shane: see you in an hour

Scott: Shane, I actually don't know your middle name, and that surprises me, Hollander!

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Troy and Harris - 

 

Harris: so you know how I had Shane and Ilya do an interview?

Troy: yeah

Troy: oh god

Harris: yeah im doing editing right now and you need to read some of this transcript 

- Harris Has Sent One Video Attachment - 

[Shane and Ilya, seated on matching stools]

Shane: is any of this going to be usable?

Ilya: what do you mean?

Shane: well this one says 'He can bend me-'

Ilya: Fu-

[Bleep] 

Troy: o.o

Troy: okay you can say no because it'll be double work for you

Harris: hm?

Troy: make a copy that we get to see and the edited one for the public 

Harris: I like how your brain works sometimes 

Troy: not always?

Harris: is it always working?

Troy: touche

Harris: it gets better

- Harris Has Sent Two Video Attachments - 

Ilya: He does have best ass

Shane: Rozanov I swear to god

[Bleep]

 

Shane: [gasps] divorce 

[Bleep]

Harris: they shouldn't be this funny

Harris: we cannot use any of this

Troy: for the public*

Harris: 🥲

- Harris Has Sent Two Video Attachments - 

Ilya: Pike is-

Shane: Ilya!

[Bleep]

 

Shane: this one says you can't fight all of them at once for me

Ilya: I could if I didn't want to avoid deportation 

[Bleep]

Troy: well that one definitely can't be used

Harris: you think?

- Harris Has Sent One Video Attachment - 

Harris: this one is my favourite

Ilya: oh I know this one

Ilya: would you love me still, if I was a worm?

Shane: no 

Ilya: [Russian Cursing]

[Bleep]

[Screen cuts back moment later]

Shane: after some thinking, I change my answer 

Ilya: thank you

Shane: I would leave you outside 

Ilya: [Incoherent yelling]

[Bleep]

Troy: whoever said Hollander wasn't a comedian needs their head checked

Troy: hes fucking hilarious 

Harris: this is just what we got audio of

Harris: hes got Ilya schooled 

Harris: dont help Ilya though

Troy: he's exactly where he wants to be

 

Chapter End Notes

For those who are reading Double Trouble 👀 Sorry in advance 💞

Chapter 49: Luca Meet Parenting

Chapter Summary

Hey girl heyyyy, so I wrote half this tipsy in an uber

Have fun with it

Chapter Notes

A slight note, though, I was writing a section I thought I'd include in the wedding fic and ended up making myself cry for about twenty minutes. Full snotty, needed many tissues crying.

Ooops

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Ilya and Luca - 

 

Ilya: who you texting?

Luca: captain your in the same room as me?

Ilya: I know

Ilya: so who would you be texting 

Luca: I have friends outside the team 

Ilya: none you make you heart eyes

Luca: heart eyes??

Ilya: okey 

Luca: okay?

Ilya: I ask Shane

Luca: no!

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Shane -

 

Ilya: beautiful husband

Shane: what did you break

Shane: and how did you break something, youre sitting right next to me

Shane: why are you texting me anyway?

Ilya: many questions 

Ilya: not the point

Ilya: look at little baby haas 

Shane: okay?

Shane: hes texting?

Ilya: i forget you cannot compute 

Ilya: he is making heart eyes

Shane: okay first, rude

Shane: second, as much as I hate to admit

Shane: you might be right

Ilya: I am always right

Shane: you want to start that argument right now?

Ilya: ....

Ilya: no

Shane: as I thought 

Ilya: back to haasy!

Shane: so what if hes smiling? Let him be

Ilya: do we have to give him the talk?

Shane: Ilya 

Shane: wait shit, what if he hasn't had that talk

Ilya: see, I ask good question 

Ilya: we might have too

Shane: I'll get the parenting book

Ilya: still not sure why you bought that

Shane: have you met Connor?

Ilya: cannot argue 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Luca -

 

Ilya: is it a boyfriend?

Luca: what?

Ilya: girlfriend?

Ilya: partner?

Luca: are you okay?

Ilya: you are deflecting 

Luca: I am concerned you got concussed and we didnt notice

Ilya: i ask your brother 

Luca: jesus christ

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Connor -

 

Ilya: did your brother mention a partner???

Connor: who? Luca?

Ilya: awh you know your family 

Ilya: yes Luca 

Ilya: unless my husband has stashed another son somewhere 

Connor: he's not mentioned anyone to me

Ilya: hmmm

Ilya: he is making heart eyes at his phone

Connor: omg really

Ilya: YES

Ilya: see you see its big deal

Connor: Mom said to leave it alone didnt he

Ilya: yes

Connor: want me to see if he'll tell me?

Ilya: this proves you are my son too

Connor: :)

Ilya: :)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Connor and Luca -

 

Connor: so

Luca: nope

Luca: go away

Connor: awh come onnnn

Luca: so Ilya didnt send you to snoop

Connor: nope

Luca: bullshit

Connor: I offered 

Luca: ...

Luca: asshole

Connor: so there is someone 

Luca: im telling Mom

Connor: ( ; ﾟДﾟ)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Connor -

 

Connor: mission failed

Connor: and he's telling mom

Ilya: we are fucked

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Luca and Shane -

 

Luca: they're harassing me

Shane: I wish I could be clueless and ask who

Shane: but they're my not so subtle idiots so 

Shane: what are they yapping on about?

Luca: they're convinced I'm seeing someone

Shane: okay

Shane: and I'm assuming its a no and you've told them as such

Shane: but they wont shut up?

Luca: pretty much

Shane: can I ask a question?

Luca: ...

Luca: sure

Shane: is there someone?

Luca: Mom!

Shane: what? just a question, means I can help better if I know

Luca: smh

Luca: I'm not dating anyone

Shane: ..but there might be someone you like?

Luca: is it that obvious?

Shane: to myself and Ilya? very 

Shane: but that's because of a few reasons

Luca: Like?

Shane: 1. we spent too long acting like idiots who couldn't admit we actually liked each other 

Shane: 2. you were kinda making heart eyes

Luca: omfg

Shane: and 3. it was just a hunch, I'm not normally right on these things

Luca: give yourself a point this time then I guess

Shane: Luca

Luca: sorry

Luca: I don't know what I'm doing

Shane: and that's okay

Shane: did you wanna talk about it?

Luca: maybe

Shane: how about this, if you want to or need to, you just send me a message

Shane: I'll be right there

Luca: thank you

Shane: and I'll get my overeager husband to back off

Luca: oh thank god

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Older Cens -

 

Ilya: very grateful we have a chat without the rookies

Ilya: I need help

Shane: you're so dramatic

Ilya: so mean to me

Hayes: whats going on

Bood: 👀

Ilya: baby haasy has a crush

Barrett: oop

Shane: you THINK He has a crush

Shane: you're assuming

Ilya: same difference

Shane: no

Bood: I mean he was giving his phone gooey eyes

Ilya: see!

Shane: jesus christ 

Dykstra: I fear I am too old for this

Shane: we are

Ilya: stfu

Shane: 🤨

Ilya: ...not you?

Shane: you must love our couch

Bood: Cap is gonna have the worst old man back pain at this rate

Dykstra: at this rate he's getting a divorce 

Hayes: can we keep Holly in the divorce?

Ilya: excuse you

Barrett: risky admission Hayes

Hayes: Holly isnt the one yapping his head off about a rookie having a crush on someone sO

Ilya: you can do sit ups

Hayes: fml

Bood: back to Haas

Ilya: yes!

Ilya: we should help

Bood: ooo

Barrett: here we go

Shane: you will not

Shane: you will let that boy exist in peace

Ilya: booo

Bood: sorry cap

Bood: Holly has final say

Ilya: I am the captain?!

Shane: And you're MY husband

Shane: sit you're ass down 

Shane: jesus christ 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Shane -

 

Shane: so I talked to Luca

Ilya: I plead the fifth 

Shane: you're a Canadian citizen 

Shane: you can't plead the fifth here

Ilya: shit

Shane: anyway

Shane: let the kid breathe

Ilya: ⚆_⚆

Shane: I'm pulling the husband privilege here, you can't repeat this

Ilya: cruelty 

Shane: do you want to know?

Ilya: finE

Shane: he might be working out some feelings he's not used too

Shane: so let him have the space on it, you overbearing mother hen

Ilya: coming from you?

Shane: the couch has your name on it

Ilya: (x_x)

 

 

Chapter End Notes

Time for a reader vote:

Is Luca going to end up seeing someone?

 

Also, I had another section of my tattoo sleeve done this weekend, and holy hell, the ink sac is massive

Chapter 50: Meet Crack Crazy

Chapter Summary

50th chapter day!

 

This one took a while cause I had lots of little ideas and wasnt sure what way to go. Then I remembered its crack and it can go in every direction so lmao this one is all over the place.

This one also showcases some of the socmed format I use in in Mentioned You!

Chapter Notes

I honest god to thought chapter 50 would be the last...

Nope

 

Still got some ideas to go lmao, thank you for sticking around. Thank you for over 600k hits. Thank you for being here.

Also I noticed I actually read it all wrong and St-Simon's name is VICTOR not VINCENT as I've been calling him... oopsie? Whelp he's Vincent now, I like it better HAHAH

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Twitter -

 

↳ The NHL Official Account @NHL_Official

You asked, we delivered. Here's a compilation of some of the most requested players mic'd up (we are sensing a theme here, and we had a lot of censoring to do, boys) 

[Video Attachment: Different clips of players on the ice and in the locker room, video captions showing quotes]

[Clip showing Shane watching his team from the boards]

Shane Hollander: These kids are going to be the reason I go grey

 

[Clip of Ilya behind two other players who were moving slower than him]

Ilya Rozanov: Would you move your fuckin-[Bleep]

 

[Clip of Soren in the goals, moving side to side]

Soren Miitka: In my little creeaaseeee oh sh[Bleep] fuc[Bleep]

 

[Clip of Vincent watching Connor spin in circles]

Vincent St-Simon: Someone test this kid, not sure for what, but something will show up

 

[Clip of Hayes sitting on a bench, watching Shane and Ilya talking]

Wyatt Hayes: At what point can I tap out cause these two eye fuc[Bleep] 

 

[Clip of Connors on the bench before his shift]

Connor Connors: There's an axolotl on the pink stairs

 

[Clip of Hayden during a warmup] 

Hayden Pike: I am in mis-er-yyyy

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Baby Boston WAGs Chat -

 

Beck: omfg I forgot about this version of the Chat

Ella: omg Jane are you still here 😭

Louise: surely she knew about Shane and Ilya 

Emily: girl I am so sorry we didnt message you sooner 

Emily: this mini WAGs chat just kinda died 

Beck: well yeah cause the world imploded 

Ella: maybe she changed her number

Jane: holy shit I forgot about this chat

Louise: SHE LIVES

Ella: hey girl

Beck: how have you been?

Ella: you could've told us that you and Roz broke up 💔 

Jane: omfg Beck, did Mick not explain? 

Beck: huh?

Jane: you might commit a war crime 

Louise: 👀

Jane: Hi so I'm actually Shane 

Jane: "Jane" was a cover 

Beck: my husband is a USELESS MAN

Louise: I'm going to take out this whole team

Beck: I was at your fucking wedding

Beck: And I had no idea you were Jane

Ella: in hindsight I feel dumb

Jane: in everyones (not the men) defence

Jane: we only spoke a few times 

Emily: point taken

Jane: and I stand by my previous statement 

Jane: Ilya was a bit of a whore 

Beck: HAHAH

Louise: I cannot fathom that you're Shane Hollander and you talk like this

Jane: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ella: this is perfection 

Emily: omg can we please talk more

Jane: yeah of course 

Beck: still going to kill my husband 

Jane: I'd say film it but that too is a crime 

Beck: ruining all the fun 

Louise: Shane Hollander, the WAG Icon 

Jane: ✨️😌✨️

Emily: Oh I love you

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Boston - 

 

Carmichael: I have been informed that any monumental information must be given to Beck first

Carmichael: As I cannot be trusted to distribute the information accordingly 

St-Simon: you got your ass handed to you as well?

Carmichael: 🥲

Shane: oops

Connors: HAHAHAHAH

Marlow: suddenly glad I'm single

Marlow: wait im the only single one ☠️

Connors: operation get Marley a girlfriend 

Shane: with how well you're usual plans go?

Shane: maybe he should just get a dating app

Connors: ....fair enough 

Marlow: well I had my club buddy

Marlow: but Hollander made a married man out of him 🥲

St-Simon: we should give him a medal for that one

Carmichael: agreed

Shane: normally I'd say no a medal is not needed because I just love him

Shane: but he just tracked mud through the house

Shane: so hand it over

Marlow: jesus christ Rozanov 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Etsy Witches - 

 

Lila: I cannot believe I'm agreeing to go to a game

Eloise: awh come on

Eloise: it'll be fun

Lila: for you

Eloise: we get to see the hockey team who bought you're candles 

Lila: okay we have absolutely zero proof of that

Eloise: we also have nothing to disprove this theory

Lila: christ above 

Lila: tell you what though, whoever it was has kept ordering candles so

Eloise: bless 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Etsy Witches -

 

Eloise: you gotta admit that was fun

Lila: yeah okay fine, it was cool

Eloise: SHE ADMITS ITTTT

Lila: (ーー;)

Eloise: lmao you should expand and make hockey team candles

Eloise: match your market babe

Lila: babe I dont even know who the market is

Lila: will admit though havent had sales like that since that girl and her friend group bought stuff in bulk cause her boyfriend cheated with the sister the night before the wedding 

Eloise: heinous behaviour 

Lila: legit

Lila: lol imagine if one of them buy the new bundle I just dropped cause that one I speak to the buyer directly to decorate the candle 

Eloise: 👀👀👀

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Org Children - 

 

Ilya: Pike.

Carmichael: oh boy what did you do

Hayden: wtf nothing?

JJ: seems like you did

Ilya: which one of your beautiful children came over sick

Hayden: okay maybe I did do something 

Ilya: how sick did they get?

Hayden: oh god

Hayden: oh god I'm so sorry

St-Simon: ?

Hayden: we had dinner with them just before we knew the kids were sick...

Hayden: with a stomach flu

Ilya: I may reverse over you

Ilya: with that fancy car you kept looking at

Marlow: wait hold on

Marlow: when did YOU see them?

Hayden: like a week ago?

Mitty: IT WAS YOU

Ilya: we saw everyone.

Hayden: oh

Mitty: I'm staring at Connor who is currently curled under a blanket

Mitty: I've downed so much cold and flu I'd be unfit to drive 

Connors: kids germs are no joke omfg I feel like shit

Ilya: so does Shane

Connors: mom :(

Hayden: sorry...

St-Simon: my wife will take me out if we get sick 

Marlow: stocking up on meds brb

Drapeau: the great NHL plague is about to begin

Comeau: hope y'all survive 

Drapeau: dude we went to their house too

Comeau: f u c k

Ilya: everyone ignoring half of you on same team/same space as Pike?

JJ: damn you Pike 

JJ: not the kids, innocent angels

Pike: bro!

JJ: not even a warning (ToT)

Connors: is mom okay?

Ilya: eh

Connors: ????

Mitty: please do not stress him out off his face on cold and flu

Ilya: he's camped on couch, not happy but not bad bad

Hayden: yet

Ilya: eh??

Hayden: we all had that phase then that night 

Hayden: vomit central 

Ilya: (ー_ー;)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Hayden -

 

Shane: you're children are a light in my life

Shane: but holy fuck these kid germs are no joke

Hayden: really sorry buddy, we wouldn't have come over if we knew

Shane: no dont apologise, it happens 

Shane: ...how long exactly did this last for you?

Hayden: ehh maybe 5 days?

Shane: fuck me

Hayden: |ﾟーﾟ)ﾉ

Hayden: we're not telling fans I took out the golden husband of hockey with a stomach flu

Hayden: right?

Shane: Harris will let you know if they make a declaration of war, we have an interview next Monday

Hayden: ooft

Shane: 'ooft' is right 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Jackie -

 

Jackie: electrolytes 

Jackie: do not forget them

Shane: thanks Jackie

Jackie: I cannot believe we got you sick

Jackie: I dont think youve been sick the entire time I've known you

Shane: like a cold here and there 

Shane: but not this 

Jackie: leave it to the Pike Children to cover that

Shane: theyre a unique lot

Shane: I say lovingly 

Jackie: thats the nice way to put it

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Connor and Shane - 

 

Connor: are you alive 

Shane: getting there 

Shane: no brink of death 

Connor: oh thank god

Shane: are you okay?

Shane: Soren mentioned you were both dosed up on meds 

Connor: I think we missed the stomach flu but just caught the literal flu

Shane: oh buddy 

Connor: I miss breathing through my nose 

Shane: we've all been there 

Connor: uggghhh

Shane: have you been sleeping?

Connor: trying too 

Shane: might be time to whip out the vicks in the bowl and towel over the head trick

Connor: I always feel like im water boarding myself 

Shane: I know but unless you wanna continue with blocked sinuses 

Shane: worth it 

Connor: :( fineee

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Mitty and Ilya -

 

Mitty: hey is Shane feeling better by chance?

Ilya: yes he was lucky 

Ilya: one of those quick bugs

Mitty: yeah so Connor was not so lucky 

Mitty: he's got the migraine from hell

Ilya: oh no

Ilya: he is asking for Shane?

Mitty: trying not too but I can tell

Mitty: would Shane be up for the drive? We're in Montreal 

Ilya: I think you would have to lock the doors to keep him out

Ilya: will let you know when we are on the road

Mitty: I wont tell him till you get here so he doesnt stress about you making the drive judt for him

Ilya: no wonder he stick to shane

Ilya: same stress 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Soren met them at the door and ushered the pair inside. Shane only needed to be pointed down the hall, having been in home Soren's many times before, to know where to go find Connor.

"You would think that Shane was his literal mother." Ilya laughed softly, then winced at the sound of Soren's cough. "And we are getting you doctors appointment, off we go."

The protest never made it out of Soren's mouth as Ilya steered him to the couch.

Shane opened the door to the bedroom as quietly as the hinges would allow and found a lump curled under the covers, a slight tremble giving away that Connor was awake.

"You should've called me," Shane chided softly, sitting next to Connor and placing a hand on his shoulder, "You look like shit."

"Thanks, Mom, I really didn't notice." Connor croaked back, smiling weakly. "M'head hurts."

"I know, have you showered?"

"No, too bright." 

Shane sighed, "I'm going to keep the lights off in there, but the door open so the bedroom light keeps it safe."

It was a slow process, but eventually Connor was showered, dressed in new clothes and back into bed. Shane seated within arm's reach after a sad little noise Connor unwillingly let out as he tried to excuse himself from the room to give him some peace to sleep.

"Thank you for coming."

"Always Kid."

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Connor -

 

Shane: next time you let him call me to start off with

Connor: :( 

Shane: I'm not mad at you, I just worry

Connor: okay 😭

Shane: now go back to bed

Connor: ugggh fine

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's Chat -

 

Dykstra: okay so Hollanov got over their flu stint

Bood: did anyone here get too close?

Hayes: nope

Barrett: negative

Haas: ah shit

Bood: NO BABY HAAS NO

Barrett: RIP another one bites the dust

Haas: I mean I feel fine right now?

Dykstra: false sense of security dude

Haas: fuck

Ilya: you call if you feel sick

Haas: I will be fine

Shane: you call if you feel sick

Haas: okay

Hayes: HA

Shane: I will tell your wife you are bullying the baby

Hayes: I am shutting up

Ilya: and you give me shit

Bood: because you're whipped 

Ilya: ...(*￣０￣)ノ

Shane: you have no argument

Shane: he is right

Ilya: ...( ＿ ＿)ノ｜

Barrett: Harris wants to know if you'll be okay for monday?

Shane: yeah we're okay, all clear now

Barrett: 🫡

Bood: now I have a question

Dykstra: fuck here we go

Bood: so mean to me T.T

Bood: anyway, who is gets added to the WAG chat out of Shane and Ilya?

Dykstra: actually I wanna know this, I retract my previous statement

Barrett: Harris wants to know as well

Haas: should they like switch out like a custody arrangement?

Hayes: whoever retires first?

Shane: I actually have no idea how to answer that

Ilya: Shane is still in the Boston WAG chat

Shane: true, you were never in the Montreal one though

Shane: that I am aware of?

Ilya: no the men are useless and did not think to add Lily

Ilya: such shame

Bood: either of them would do well 

Bood: hm

Hayes: maybe they have a WAG chat with Shane and one with Cap?

Shane: too many chats

Dykstra: how many do you handle at this point?

Shane: I lost count :/

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Luca and Ilya -

 

Luca: um hey Cap

Ilya: sick?

Luca: yeah 😭

Ilya: we will be there in an hour

Luca: can you ask Shane about the soup

Ilya: yes yes we bring the soup

Luca: thank you

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya -

 

Ilya: Haasy is sick

Shane: figured it would happen, I'll be home in like 10

Ilya: get things for the soup he likes?

Shane: already did xx

Ilya: I marry a house husband

Shane: you married someone who is going to kick your ass if you call him a house husband again

Ilya: (。﹏。)

Ilya: such violence Hollander

Ilya: what is this

Shane: kiss my ass Rozanov

Shane: be home soon

Ilya: drive safe moya lyubov

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

 

- Twitter -

 

↳ The NHL Official Account @NHL_Official

Admin was informed some players went down with a stomach flu... so here's some of their best mic'd up! (and some we can't explain but admin got permission to post) 

[Video Attachment: Different clips of players on the ice and in the locker room, video captions showing quotes]

[Clip showing Luca between Shane and Ilya]

Luca Haas: I have parents, but these two are also my parents

 

[Clip showing Bood chasing Ilya]

Zane Boodram: Get back here Rozanov or I'm telling Shane about that night!

Ilya Rozanov: Kiss my as[Bleep]!

 

[Clip showing Connor waving at Shane from the bench]

Connor Connors: Hi Mommm!

Shane Hollander: Hi kid

 

[Clip showing Marlow spinning in circles during warmup when Vincent comes to him]

Cliff Marlow: I am surrounded by idiots 

Vincent St-Simon: you are the idiot 

 

↳↳ Connor Connors @conconnors

     I will not be taking any questions at this time, Shane is Mom

↳↳ Shane Hollander @s-hollander

     @conconnors that does not help a single thing

Chapter End Notes

I loovVveEEe yoUUUuuuU

Chapter 51: Red Carpet Crazy

Chapter Summary

So I had a whole ass other chapter in the works but we got photos of Hudson and Sophie and I just HAD to use it as inspo.

#jealous ilya is that fish from the barbie movie argue with the wall xoxoxo

Chapter Notes

I huddled in the corner of my break room and wrote this HAHA

Someone is gonna catch me one day and I'm gonna have to try not reveal myself.... although I thought my supervisor found this account last week and my soul left my body.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Shane and Rose -

 

Rose: Have I said that I love you recently

Shane: did you think you'd have to beg me???

Rose: yes

Shane: *gasp*

Rose: Shane Avoid Socialising Hollander

Shane: yeah okay fair enough

Shane: but seriously, I get it, carpet walks are awkward 

Rose: I just dont wanna do it alone, I'm presenting so no other cast mates are with me

Shane: ew no 

Shane: ofc its no issue

Rose: im surprised your very dramatic husband didnt kick a fuss

Shane: nearly did

Shane: then showed him the outfit you sent 

Shane: that shut him up for a bit

Rose: if you creased those clothes for distraction sex Hollander-Rozanov I will beat you up

Shane: no fancy clothes were harmed in the convincing of my husband 

Shane: promise 

Rose: delightful 

Rose: ...does the makeup artist need to cover hickies?

Shane: erm

Shane: nope we're good

Rose: good as in there arent any 

Rose: or good as in they arent in visible locations

Shane: I plead the fifth

Rose: you're Canadian Hollander 

Shane: shh

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- 

 

- Ilya and Shane -

 

Ilya: have fun

Shane: wish you were here

Shane: its for Rose but I still prefer you with me

Ilya: I know, but it will be quick

Ilya: then you are home and can show me outfit for real

Shane: you are not ripping the buttons on this shirt

Shane: I like this one

Ilya: (-_-;)

Ilya: I will take shirt off very carefully 

Ilya: yes?

Shane: thank you

Ilya: how attached are you to the pants?

Shane: Ilya.

Ilya: booooo

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's -

 

Dykstra: how long till we get a cap meltdown?

Bood: hmm

Haas: T Minus 2 minutes 

Haas: he just opened his phone 

Hayes: RIP he's going to keep over

Barrett: ...more like rip Holly's sanity 

Bood: good point

Ilya: I am in this chat?

Ilya: are you dumb?

Ilya: in the same room?

Bood: ah fuck wrong chat

Dykstra: oops

Haas: whelp

Barrett: whats your emotional status currently rozzy? 

Ilya: eh?

Barrett: good enough

Barrett: check instagram 

Ilya: you are very strange 

Dykstra: y'all might wanna start going to your cars

Ilya: what the fuck is this

Haas: too late

Ilya: Shane Hollander-Rozanov

Barrett: oh damn

Bood: you know I dont think I've ever seen Ilya pull a full name on him

Haas: ha... divorce arc?

Bood: haasy ☠️

Dykstra: cap??

Hayes: RIP holly

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Boston and Shane -

 

Connor: hes gonna loose his shiiitttt

St-Simon: I can see the steam coming from his ears from Boston 

Marlow: yo holzy u alive man?

Carmichael: run shane runnnn 

Connor: mom ☠️😭

Marlow: ur an orphan now buddy

Connor: rude

St-Simon: he might be right ☠️

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal and Ilya -

 

Hayden: HA

Hayden: having a good night rozanov?

Mitty: you have a death wish dude

JJ: I think its funny

Drapeau: ehhhh bit risky admitting that

Comeau: whats going on??

Mitty: remember shane mentioned Rose needed a date to her award show?

Comeau: yeahhh?

Drapeau: simple fool check Twitter 

Comeau: brb

Comeau: OH

Comeau: HAHAHAH ROZ IS GONNA BE STEAMING

Hayden: SEE

Mitty: he looks fantastic but people are holding on to it for dear life cause he went WITH Rose

Mitty: and are just drooling over him in general

Ilya: Pike, I will deal with you another day

Ilya: I have husband to deal with 

Mitty: good luck Shane ☠️

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Shane -

 

Shane: I've just gotten in the car

Shane: my flight is at 8 tomorrow 

Shane: Ilya?

Ilya: Shane 

Shane: why are you full naming me in a group chat?

Ilya: why you look like this without your husband 😭

Shane: omfg

Shane: you saw the whole outfit before I left

Ilya: not the same

Shane: 🤨

Ilya: you all pretty and over there

Ilya: I am here 

Ilya: (￢_￢)

Shane: are you jealous???

Ilya: no

Shane: yes

Ilya: no

Shane: yes

Ilya: no

Shane: Ilya Rozanov-Hollander 

Ilya: yes 

Shane: so you are jealous 

Ilya: no I was responding to my name

Shane: uh-huh

Ilya: yes-huh

Shane: Ilya 

Ilya: yes?

Shane: I love you

Ilya: ...

Ilya: my big weakness you use against me (ToT)

Shane: um excuse me

Ilya: Я люблю тебя 

Shane: better 

Shane: are you actually upset in a way we need to talk or just pouting 

Ilya: I do not pout!

Shane: okay so pouting 

Ilya: (,,・д・)

Shane: I'll be home tomorrow xx 

Ilya: get some sleep xx

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's -

 

Shane: Team Poll please

Bood: HE LIVES

Haas: HELLOO

Shane: does Ilya pout, yes or no

Ilya: our team will know correct answer 

Bood: yes

Dykstra: yes

Hayes: yes

Barrett: yes

Ilya: 　ﾟ　ﾟ ( Д 　)

Ilya: haasy?

Shane: Luca?

Haas: ....

Haas: yes

Shane: HA

Ilya: betrayal 

Shane: you can ask Boston and Montreal to weigh in if you'd like

Ilya: (--)

Shane: thats what I thought 

Bood: Cap was, once again, walked like a dog

Shane: see you all next training, sorry I missed this one

Dykstra: so so worth it to see this go down

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Soren and Connor -

 

Soren: you think Shane is alive?

Connor: Mom has Roz around his pinkie finger

Connor: its Roz we gotta worry about here

Soren: damn youre right

Connor: usually am

Soren: 🤨

Connor: sometimes 

Connor: also if we have to do another awards night and I dont get to stand with you for at least ONE picture when you're all dressed up

Connor: I'm breaking up with you 

Soren: okay drama queen 

Soren: no need to threaten me

Connor: promiseeee

Soren: yes I promise 

Connor: perfect

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Rose and Svetlana -

 

Svetlana: you looked fantastic 

Rose: awh thank youu

Svetlana: and you had pretty boy arm candy 

Svetlana: perfect 

Rose: lmao Ilya is probably loosing his shit right how

Svetlana: he is

Svetlana: then they will do their freaky shit and be fine 

Rose: HA

Rose: oh jealous sex, what a fun thing 

Svetlana: 👀

Rose: 👀

Svetlana: we need another wine night 

Rose: ✨️🍷 yes🍷✨️

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal and Shane -

 

Hayden: sooo

Hayden: how was your night

Shane: your subtlety is so bad even I can see it 

Mitty: DAMN

Comeau: just in case anyone needed a reminder that Holzy bites

Drapeau: our sassy (ex)captain 

Hayden: o u c h

JJ: subtlety of hand grenade this one

Hayden: wow I'll see myself out

Shane: you just wanna know if Ilya was pissed off dont you

Hayden: let a man gossip in peace would you buddy?

Shane: 😒

Hayden: come onnnn

JJ: why do I feel like we'll regret asking this

Comeau: almost like we dont learn 

Drapeau: potentially 

Mitty: oh 100% we havent learnt and hes about to say something nasty 

Shane: oddly self aware 

Hayden: 👀

Hayden: why are you calling me?

Mitty: oh

Drapeau: well that cant be good

JJ: Alive Pike?

Comeau: either Shane is having a gossip or is scaring his best friend into silence

Hayden: rozanov took the phone and facetimed me

Mitty: oh no

Hayden: that is TOO MANY HICKIES SHANE HOLLANDER

Shane: Hollander-Rozanov*

Hayden: apologies 

Hayden: SHANE HOLLANDER-ROZANOV

Comeau: AHAHAHAHHA

Drapeau: its the blow job call all over again

Hayden: DOUSE ME WITH BLEACH

JJ: told you not to ask

Shane: in my defence I said not to call you but he read the messages so

Shane: thats on you buddy

Hayden: 😭

Mitty: how come you dont use his middle name?

Hayden: huh

Hayden: actually have you ever told me your middle name?

Shane: nope

Hayden: can you?

Shane: nope

Hayden: bruh

Shane: ✨️elusive✨️

Mitty: never thought id ask Shane this

Mitty: but what did you sniff?

JJ: probably whatever Connor does

Mitty: nah that's just my connor

Mitty: cant replicate that crazy

Shane: such a lovely boyfriend you 

Mitty: 😍

 

Chapter End Notes

My regularly scheduled choas to continue next time xoxo

Chapter 52: Hollanov Meet Puppy Interview

Chapter Summary

Shane told Hayden they had an interview... welcome to the interview!

Chapter Notes

Also Hi Hello the wedding fic is now live! For those who have read it... lmao so sorry. It's titled 'I'd Withstand All of Hell, Just to Hold Your Hand'.

For those who are going to read it! ...hope yall like it :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

 

"Hi, I'm Shane Hollander." Shane starts, tilting his head at the camera.

Ilya grins at him and holds up one of the puppies in his lap, "And I'm Ilya Rozanov, and we are doing puppy interview!"

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Troy and Harris - 

 

Harris: lmao guess what

Troy: hmm?

Harris: that isnt a guess :(

Troy: you saw a bird shaped cloud again

Harris: no! Wish I did though

Harris: we filmed the hollanov puppy interview today 

Troy: omg

Troy: did Ilya kidnap all the dogs?

Harris: damn well tried too

Harris: ive never seen Shane so read to sign divorce papers in his life 

Troy: you should see them in the locker room

Troy: permanent deadpan, stare at the invisible camera, contemplating life choices that led him there look while Roz yaps his head off 

Harris: remind me to look back through the mic'd footage again 

Troy: lmao

Troy: did they behave?

Harris: watch these clips and itll answer your question dearest

 

Ilya: we will take them all home, yes?

Shane: no?

Ilya: oh so you hate me

Shane: I will drive home without you

Ilya: you say this yet you never do

 

Shane: okie dokie next question 

Ilya: Oh, you are so cute, no, don't bite your brother 

Shane: Ilya, it's your turn

Ilya: I have priorities, Hollander 

[Camera zooms in on Shane making a deadpan face]

 

Troy: holy shit 

Troy: why are they so unintentionally funny?

Troy: like be hot and play hockey or be hot and be funny 

Troy: pick a problem 

Harris: HAHAHA

Harris: you would not believe the amount we had to cut cause it was either Ilya not paying attention, them bickering, or them being so sappy its awkward for everyone else

Troy: no I can believe it

Troy: smh these dudes

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

"Potentially the only way to make him act media trained is bringing in puppies."

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's - 

 

Hayes: Can we request next time there's a team interview we all get puppies?

Bood: the fans would die, hot men and puppies?

Bood: perfect mix

Ilya: we will put it on the list

Shane: you have minimal impact on that list??

Ilya: shhh

Shane: any of you want a captain to sleepover? 

Ilya: (,,・д・)

Shane: kidding 

Shane: ...kinda

Haas: can we do another team sleepover...

Ilya: awh baby haasy 

Haas: neverminndd 

Ilya: you will accept eventually you are the baby

Shane: he accepts it when its convenient 

Dykstra: smart kid

Ilya: he is my son, ofc he is smart

Barrett: are you sure hes your kid then? 

Ilya: bag skates. all of you.

Hayes: fucking damnit 

Shane: you THINK thats happening 

Shane: it is not

Ilya: I am captain?

Shane: 🤨

Ilya: ....yes shane

Shane: 😌

Bood: S I M P

Ilya: stfup 

Bood: so ruDE

Shane: im starting to think the wag chat would be less work then you lot

Dykstra: wounded Holly, I am wounded 

Hayes: is he wrong tho?

Barrett: no hes not

Dykstra: is Harris in the wag chat then 👀?

Barrett: I mean yeah 

Bood: maybe its Holly that needs to go in the wag chat

Shane: so I can tell your lovely wives how much of a pain in the ass you all are?

Haas: does that include me?

Shane: no

Haas: yay

Hayes: he has favourites and its obvious 

Dykstra: favouritismmmmmmm

Shane: muting chat, night night

Ilya: wait bed? 

Ilya: Hollander you are not going to bed??

Ilya: Shaaannnneee

Bood: go flirt in your private chat

Hayes: the baby is in this chat cap

Dykstra: watch it

Haas: pls dont start sexting in this chat

Haas: I will cease to exist 

Bood: why do you know what sexting is?

Haas: im not an infant???

Bood: Ilya ur kid is talking about sex

Ilya: pardon

Ilya: p a r d o n

Haas: now you've done it 😭

Bood: HAHA

Shane: leave him alone Ilya

Ilya: SHANE HE IS TALKING ABOUT SEX

Shane: are you forgetting how old we were when we first hooked up??

Ilya: AH

Dykstra: oh the famous timeline 

Barrett: a great topic of discussion 

Ilya: Luca have you had the talk?

Ilya: do we need to give the talk?

Shane: Ilya, come to bed and leave him alone

Haas: brb salsa dancing out a window 💃 

Bood: HAHAHA

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

"Ilya, what the fu-"

"Do not swear in front of the puppies, Shane."

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Luca - 

 

Shane: if you do need to talk about anything 

Luca: oh my god no

Luca: no 

Luca: nope

Shane: nothing to be embarrassed about!

Luca: Shane, I appreciate you so so much

Luca: but I'd rather chew on a concrete slab then talk to you about my sex life

Shane: alright alright 

Shane: offer is there though

Luca: T.T

Luca: this definitely is not a regular team experience 

Shane: definitely not but eh

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Rose - 

 

Rose: the puppies were so cute!

Shane: it was super fun

Shane: Ilya had to be detached from them 

Rose: lmao no surprises there

Rose: Sveta betted a 20 he tried to take three home

Shane: what did you bet?

Rose: 20 on 5 pups

Shane: Sveta owes you a 20

Rose: YES

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Rose and Sveta -

 

Rose: you owe me a 20 babe

Rose: confirmed 

Sveta: fuckk

Sveta: or I buy good wine and we have girls night

Rose: done ✔️ 👏

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

"We take them home."

"We have a dog."

"She needs siblings."

"We are not taking them all home."

"My husband hates me."

"Ilya."

"Shane."

"One dog."

"One dog, he says." 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Shane - 

 

Ilya: so

Shane: no we cannot bring all of the puppies home 

Ilya: boOooOO

Shane: I love you more then I can explain

Shane: but no

Ilya: :(

Shane: maybe we can look for a friend for Anya in the off season and we can do it correctly?

Ilya: :)

Ilya: this is acceptable compromise 

Shane: oh thank god

Shane: I really thought they'd have to lock you out of the shelter 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Boston and Shane - 

 

Connors: why tf is watching them with a bunch of fucking puppies that cute??

Marlow: they're grown men but also oh so sweetie pie

St-Simon: 🤨

St-Simon: sometimes your weirdness is endearing and it makes me wonder why youre single

Marlow: backhanded compliment but I'll take it

St-Simon: and sometimes it answers my question as to why

Marlow: heeeyyy

Carmichael: Old man St-Simon strikes again 

Shane: was it entertaining?

Connors: it was awesome

Connors: man I want a puppy 🥲

Shane: dont look at me

Shane: you have a boyfriend now thats a him issue

Shane: im fencing off my husband from adopting about 10 of those puppies

Connors: you right though

Connors: sorrrreeeennnnnn

St-Simon: still think he needs to do a mandated drug test every week

Shane: probably 

Connors: :o

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

"Harris can you take the dogs before he kidnaps them all?"

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal and Ilya - 

 

JJ: be honest Rozanov

JJ: how hard did you beg Shane for one of those puppies?

Hayden: dont start him off 

Mitty: im curious if Shane caved

Ilya: my efforts were valiant 

Ilya: to no success 

Drapeau: boOoO

Comeau: gotta try harder dude

Hayden: here we go

Ilya: I have ideas to convince him

Drapeau: such as?

Hayden: NO

Ilya: 😗

Comeau: walked right into that one and he didnt even have to say anything 

Drapeau: bleh

Mitty: self inflicted mental image 

JJ: *sigh

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Harris -

 

Shane: hey quick question

Harris: yess? 👀

 

 

 

Chapter End Notes

How many dogs do you think Ilya tried to fit in the car?

Chapter 53: Bringing Back The Internet

Chapter Summary

HA so I made myself upset while working on a new fic idea - so y'all get this while I work on that.

MWAH

Chapter Notes

Y'all should fear what I'm working on if angst gets to you... whooops

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Shane and Luca - 

 

Shane: so I may have made a grave error

Luca: oh?

Shane: I got curious about this fanfic business

Luca: oh. really? 

Shane: yeah so I went looking

Luca: mmhmm

Shane: you will not guess what I found

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Connor and Luca - 

 

Luca: RED. ALERT.

Connor: ???

Luca: SHANE SAID HE FOUND SOMETHING CAUSE HE WENT BACK TO LOOK AT THE FANFICS

Connor: you don't think he found your old account do you?

Luca: THAT'S WHAT I THINK HAS HAPPENED

Connor: HAHAHAH

Connor: rip that's awkward

Luca: oh my god I'm gonna die

Connor: I'll write you a great eulogy

Luca: BRO

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Luca - 

 

Luca: what did you find?

Shane: I did not realise people think I have slept with half of the hockey players??

Luca: OH

Shane: why what did you think I meant?

Luca: nothing

Luca: they don't think you HAVE slept with them

Luca: lowkey they wish, cause you were voted hottest in the league like 5 times 

Shane: ohhh

Shane: well I hope Ilya doesn't see this

Luca: oh good grief

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Big GC - 

 

Ilya: what the fuck is a 'shayden'?

Luca: oh god he found it

Hayden: pardon you?

Barrett: the fuck is you on about now?

Connors: yo Pike you better lay low

Hayden: why??

Barrett: I asked Harris

Barrett: 'Shayden' is the ship name people use for you and shane

Hayden: be fucking forreal

Ilya: THAT is what it is?

Bood: now you've done it

Mitty: rip the peace we had

Comeau: lmao Pike better get in a bunker

Drapeau: tis the end of Shayden

Hayden: ITS NOT MY FAULT??

Ilya: are you SURE you do not want my husband

Ilya: they are very convinced

Hayden: I was also VERY convinced my best friend was fucking a girl named Lily

Hayden: SO

Carmichael: HA

St-Simon: that's still wild to me

Hayden: weren't you fooled too by the Jane thing?

St-Simon: no that you thought Hollander was completely straight

St-Simon: at MINIMUM we all thought he was bi

JJ: this feels like a can of worms

Ilya: what are you on about?

Marlow: Shane is like THE go too answer if anyone asks a hockey player if they HAD pick a man to call hot 

Ilya: I do not like this

Hayes: you lot are gonna get us ALL killed

Luca: the capitalising is killing me a little

Bood: wait so is it only Hayden he got shipped with (aside from Cappy)

Ilya: o.o

Dykstra: this feels like a Luca question

Luca: I hate you all

Connors: OH I can answer this one

Mitty: Do I even wanna know why you can answer this one?

Connors: ... no

Connors: ANYWAY

Connors: I have found the following

Barrett: proceed with caution 

Connors: runner up to Shayden, we have ShanexMarlow

Marlow: pardon me

Connors: ShanexBarrett

Barrett: I'm gonna build a bunker anyone coming with?

Connors: anddd

Mitty: oh god here we go

Connors: ShanexRose

St-Simon: probs could've left that one alone

Ilya: betrayed by the fellow gays

Marlow: I'm straight???

Hayden: I have a literal wife and children

Connors: has never, in the history of men, stopped anyone

Dykstra: man has a point

Barrett: I get a pass, I have a boyfriend and it is NOT Shane

Ilya: hmm

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Hayden and Shane - 

 

Hayden: please tell your crazy fucking husband we have never kissed or fucked in our lives

Hayden: thanks

Shane: the fuck?

Hayden: I am not explaining further

Shane: I swear I will never know peace

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Jackie and Shane - 

 

Jackie: whatever is going on in that group-chat

Jackie: keep it going, I have never felt so entertained

Shane: I think they're battling over who has more fanfics written about them with me

Jackie: HAHA

Jackie: even fucking better

Shane: you scare me sometimes

Jackie: oh sweetie, you would die in a WAG chat

Shane: I've been in a WAG chat, you're just terrifying 

Jackie: awwwhh

Shane: not a compliment

Jackie: 😈

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Hollanov and The Pikes -

 

- Jackie has added 3 Participants to the Chat - 

 

Shane: not another one

Ilya: oh this makes it easier to yell at Pike

Hayden: Jackie why

Jackie: I have a serious question

Ilya: proceed

Jackie: Hayden. Shane.

Jackie: are you surreeeee you never once even did like a drunk kiss

Shane: someone shoot me

Hayden: NO

Ilya: positive? I watched edit, you look longingly at my husband

Jackie: you do give him puppy eyes babe

Hayden: I do not!

Shane: can I leave now?

Ilya: Nooo 

Shane: 🙄🙄🙄

Jackie: don't ruin my fun Shane Hollander-Rozanov 

Shane: omfg fine

Hayden: Can we please, for my life and sanity, agree I have never kissed, looked longingly at or wanted my best friend???

Jackie: hmm

Shane: I mean you did call me your work husband once

Jackie: AHA

Ilya: ⚆_⚆

Hayden: when??

Hayden: oh wait

Hayden: no I remember this, it was before I had tequila shots

Shane: Indeed

Hayden: still means nothing

Ilya: my husband is just too hot for this world

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's - 

 

Bood: I have a request of behalf of the WAGs

Bood: One of our Hollanov men must be given as tribute to the chat

Bood: or a riot may occur 

Shane: one day

Shane: I ask for one day of peace

Haas: Cap would be too powerful with the WAG info

Hayes: he is married to Shane Hollander though

Ilya: is it truth

Shane: are we forgetting that I am married to THE Ilya Rozanov?

Shane: like hello? only player to match my stats? your captain?

Ilya: (✿◡‿◡)

Barrett: I vote Shane goes

Dykstra: the women wanna pretty him up 

Shane: pardon

Ilya: my husband is already pretty 

Haas: Cassie is the one who did his eyeliner that one time

Ilya: they may have him

Shane: ILYA

Ilya: mwah

Bood: ITS SETTLED

Shane: UM NO

Hayes: YES

Haas: YES

Barrett: YES

Dykstra: YES

Ilya: YES 

Chouinard: YES

Shane: now where the fuck have you been Nick??

Chouinard: you all talk to much and we have like 8 version of this fuck ass chat

Chouinard: but I fear this required a vote cause my wife has been asking too

Shane: fml

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's WAG Chat - 

 

- Cassie Has Added Shane to The Chat - 

 

Cassie: we have our tribute 

Caitlin: PERFECTION WE GOT PRETTY BOY

Shane: uhh

Caitlin: Roz is hot stuff, you are pretty boy

Shane: right, okay

Lisa: don't mind her, shes nuts

Lisa: but welcome welcome

Cassie: tis a pleasure

Cassie: I've been told this is not your first WAG chat Hollander?

Lisa: 👀

Shane: Boston WAGs got there first

Shane: but they thought I was a woman then so it was a little different

Harris: I love that story

Shane: Harris!

Harris: Shanee!

Lisa: we need a WAG night with you there

Caitlin: Shane Hollander-Rozanov + Wine = fun stories

Caitlin: Is my guess

Shane: I'm not the biggest drinker but I guess cause its offseason..

Lisa: FUCK YEAH

Cassie: perfection 

Selena: wait I'm late who did we get?

Selena: AWH SHANE

Selena: perffect

Shane: Nick's wife yeah?

Selena: yes!

Lisa: guess who else is here but hasn't yet spoken (cause it's rare)

Shane: who?

Cassie: The Icon Herself

Caitlin: the amazing

Harris: Stunning

Selena: Ella Wiebe, aka Mrs. Coach Wiebe

Lisa: our biggest informant

Ella: but shh, it's a secret 😉

Shane: holy shit

 

 

Chapter End Notes

Plot? What plot? I'm just writing bullshit at this point cause its fun HAHA

I came up with Wiebe's wife's name cause to mg knowledge there isnt a canon one.

I love you all, maybe I'll figure out how I wanna conclude this fic, maybe I won't.

New fic announcement coming soon! My SocMed fic and SorCon fic both have chapters in the works ✨

Chapter 54: Reporters Meet The Husbands

Chapter Summary

I've been thinking a lot about how differently either Ilya or Shane may show protectiveness for each other once they are out publicly - how maybe one might assume, due to his good nature re the public (Media Training loves to see Shane), that he would be 'easier' to probe for details cause Ilya is a known charming menace who will, in a charming little tone, tell you to go fuck yourself.

So we take a look at how both might react in different scenarios (✿◡‿◡)

Chapter Notes

I'm hoping to have a chapter for Double Trouble soon but the content it's covering, I wanna do it right so it's taking some time lmao

 

Also just adulting in general has kept me busy.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

 

↳ Daily Celebrity Crazy @DCC_Account

Sources leak confrontation between Shane Hollander-Rozanov in press conference interview - click link in our bio to find out more - press gone too far?

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Harris and Shane - 

 

Harris: well that was a shit show

Shane: Id like to say im sorry

Harris: you so arent 

Harris: and you shouldnt be

Shane: ....how mad are they?

Harris: fans? Drooling over you

Harris: management is a bitttt disgruntled on how much was heard

Harris: media is quaking in their boots that The Shane Hollander is going to go for the neck again 

Shane: well shit

Harris: whats shit is I didnt get to see it 😔✨️

Shane: ....Haas got it on video, he started recording when he noticed it going to shit

Harris: ATTA BOY

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Harris and Haas - 

 

Haas: can I distribute you this or does it need to be you?

Harris: ...If someone asks, I didnt know you were gonna post it, you told me later 

Harris: yes?

Haas: 🫡

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's WAG Chat - 

 

Caitlin: soooo

Caitlin: can we talk about it?

Shane: if we must

Cassie: awh man give us something

Shane: they talked shit about Ilya, I told them to eat shit

Lisa: defend your man Shaney

Ella: My lovely husband watched the footage back Shane.

Shane: ...

Ella: He says you could've been meaner about it.

Ella: I said you should've ditched the water bottle at them :)

Harris: ICCONNSSSS

Selena: Bitch slap em into the boards 

Shane: I'm pretty sure that's assault

Selena: and?

Shane: you scare me sometimes

Selena: :D

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Montreal Boys - 

 

Drapeau: oh I missed bitchy holzy 

Comeau: look at himmm goooo

Mitty: eat em up eat em up 

Hayden: shedding a tear, what a beautiful ass kicking

JJ: GET EEEMMM

JJ: VIOLENNNCCEEEE

Shane: -.-

Shane: usually I'd be telling you to shut up

Mitty: but this time?

Shane: ...

Shane: I have no objections

JJ: FUCK EM UP 

Drapeau: we been missing bitchy holzy man

Hayden: you know how fun it was when you would just randomly drop some insulting ass line 

Hayden: deadpan face, then go back to whatever you were doing?

Comeau: he'd be lacing up his skates, look up and drop stat info like he has the whole league memorised

Mitty: was spectacular 

Shane: 😗✌️

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's - 

 

Haas: may I present

Haas: the most ICONIC lines of that verbal beat down?

Bood: proceed young one

 

- Haas Has Sent One Video - 

 

[Camera moves from pointing at the floor to the table set up where Shane is sitting]

Shane: Repeat that?

Reporter #1: oh sorry, can you not hear us well?

Shane: No, just wanted to see if you were stupid enough to say it again

Reporter #1: Mr Hollander that

Shane: Hollander-Rozanov, I am married

Reporter #1: right of course

Shane: Obviously you would know that, you reached out maybe three times to do a report on the wedding, we declined each request 

Shane: or do you just feel comfortable acknowledging I married a man when it up's your views?

Shane: not that there is many to speak of anyway 

 

Hayes: sweet jesus that's-

Haas: IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER

 

- Haas Has Sent One Video - 

 

[Camera has zoomed in on Shane, who looks mildly unimpressed]

Shane: Did anyone have any real questions?

Reporter #2: Do you think the switch of teams has impacted your game play?

Shane: How so?

Reporter #2: Would you say playing with your husband has made you a bit more prone to fights?

Shane: Just because I don't have a history of fighting, does not mean I can't. However if you paid attention to any news other then the gossip blog you run, you'd know that being an open gay hockey player tends to incur some less tasteful comments then normal.

Report #2: Oh.

Shane: Did anyone come here with actual questions? Or are you all hoping I crack about my own marriage and ability to play my sport? If that's the case, we are finished. Indirectly, or directly, attack Ilya again, you'll hear from our lawyer. Question my abilities to play the sport I am quite literally employed to play is dumber then the money grab titles you'll give the clips from this interview.

 

Dykstra: I have never been so grateful that you thought to record something Haasy

Ilya: I may kiss you baby Haasy, Shane would not tell me exactly what he said

Shane: because it was stupid

Shane: I can't believe Haas actually posted it

Haas: Hockey god's as my witness, I was not sitting on this one

Hayes: this is brilliant

Bood: Holly got teeetthh

Shane: Don't fucking call my husband stupid and don't get shit on - simple enough

Shane: you'd think they'd fucking learn by now

Shane: but noo, I'm the unreasonable one

Ilya: Someone catch me, I may faint from how hot my husband is

Haas: ew

Bood: someone cover Haasys eyes

Barrett: I have spent the last 15 minutes trying to get Harris to stop reposting edits 

Barrett: he can't stop laughing

Barrett: ...catch anything else Haasy?

Haas: glad you asked 

Shane: oh you didn't

Haas: :D

Shane: fuck

Ilya: ⚆_⚆

 

- Haas Has Sent One Video - 

 

[Camera drops down but comes up again to show Shane getting up to leave and someone calling out]

Reporter #3: Shane! Shane, any final comments?

Shane: No. 

Reporter #3: You have called out a few people here, anything else you'd like to confront?

Shane: I pity whoever has to deal with your bullshit on a everyday basis. 

Reporter #3: Surely this isn't a display of professionalism.

Shane: Surely the fact your websites stats have dropped at a steady 12 percent per year, for the past five years, because you can't report an accurate story says more about you then me, but sure, lets talk professionalism. 

 

Barrett: Harris is dying again

Bood: GO BITCHY SHANE GO

Dykstra: what actually fucking triggered this insanity??

Ilya: they said stupid things, Shane decided it was enough 

Haas: oh that undersells it

Haas: there was supposed to be someone there to filter the questions prior, the reporters ignored them, then when Ilya needed to take 5 cause the translator was getting switched. They descended on Shane as if he'd jump on some opportunity to shit on Ilya.

Shane: play stupid fucking games, win stupid fucking prizes

Ilya:  😍😍😍😍

Haas: can we talk about how easily he spat out those facts???

Haas: like hello? Does he just have an arsenal of stats ready to go?

Ilya: yes

Ilya: for players too

Shane: its useful 

Ilya: highest hockey IQ remember?

Bood: wait players too?

Barrett: like every player???

Shane: yes

Ilya: yes

Dykstra: hot damn

Ilya: he does not need to throw punches, he just tells player his weakness and skates away 

Ilya: cheeky little shit

Shane: 🤷‍♂️

Shane: not my fault they suck

Shane: You don't win cups playing hockey playing like shit

Bood: oh I love this man

Ilya: 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

Chouinard: me again, should've thrown a chair Holly

Chouinard: okay bye bye

Shane: you AND your wife scare me

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

↳ Daily Celebrity Crazy @DCC_Account

Seems like its a marriage of a protective nature - Link in bio - See moment reporter gets an earful from Ilya Rozanov-Hollander for poorly worded comment.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Bears and Ilya - 

 

Connors: what in the ever loving fuck even was that question

Carmichael: that reporter was fucking asking to get beat

St-Simon: normally i'd disagree but in this case

Marlow: Roz has more self restraint there then I've ever seen him have

Ilya: fucking lucky there were cameras 

Ilya: calling Shane horrid name to my face?

Ilya: death wish

Connors: you and mom protecting each other in the press 😍

St-Simon: I say we boycott 

Marlow: hell yeah brother

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Big Kids Chat - 

 

Mitty: please

Mitty: please tell me someone has the unedited clip to hear the full thing because what the fuck

Haas: ask and you shall receive 

Connor: oh my little brother is an icon

Hayden: 👀

 

- Haas Has Sent One Video - 

 

[Record plays showing hallway where players are trying to get through, some reporters are there asking questions. Ilya stops when one of them says something not caught by the audio]

Ilya: Repeat that, yes you, repeat it.

Reporter: Oh um, I asked what it was like being married to Hollander.

Ilya: I may speak English as second language but my hearing is not shit, repeat it. 

[Reporter appears to stutter, camera gets closer as other reporters back off]

Ilya: Repeat it, go on.

Reporter: Hollander is reported to be less sociable, with his recent conference interview coming out, is he actually that robotic to live with?

Ilya: Ha. You are stupid yes? I think you try to be very funny but you are actually very stupid. Oh you are so brave yes? To ask that of me?

Reporter: Um.

Ilya: I tell you big secret yes?

Reporter: Uh, yes?

Ilya: I don't give a shit about image, talk about my husband again and you loose job.

 

Haas: and end scene

Carmichael: we love a good Roz smack down moment with the media

JJ: He said 'I will end your career' with a sweet little smile

Drapeau: demon

Hayden: you got that right

Ilya: cannot hit him into boards, this was next best option

Bood: Roz doesn't throw a gauntlet down for a duel, he goes right for execution 

Hayes: full, clean swing of the axe

Connors: heads be rollingggg

Mitty: into a basket, and into a river

Haas: watch it as it floats by the other reporters in a warning style 

JJ: watch as Roz waves as it floats away

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Harris and Ilya - 

 

Harris: I love the both of you

Harris: but you give me a lot of work to do

Ilya: ...well

Harris: you aren't sorry, don't even

Harris: ...

Harris: be meaner next time

Ilya: :D

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.- 

 

- The Cen's WAG Chat - 

 

Selena: how flustered did you get watching that clip back Shane?

Shane: no comment

Selena: HA

Caitlin: o h you so jumped him when he got home

Shane: reminding the court, Mrs. Wiebe is in here

Ella: Mrs. Wiebe sees and hears nothing 

Cassie: Shane, go make out with your husband on everyones behalf pls

Shane: If I'm making out with my Husband, its for MY benefit only, thank you Cassie

Lisa: BOOOO

Cassie: BOOOOO

Selena: BOOO

Harris: BOOO

Shane: Harris!

Harris: they be right though

Ella: Go kiss your husband Hollander-Rozanov

Selena: OOP

Shane:☠️☠️☠️☠️ 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.- 

 

↳ Daily Celebrity Crazy @DCC_Account

Hockey reporters in hot water with recent issues - see full story through link in bio - appears players are boycotting interviews to stand with the Hockey Husbands. 

Chapter End Notes

What did we thinkkkkk

Is it OOC? Yeah probably but this whole thing is OOC - let me have bitchy Shane thanks xoxo
 

I had fun writing this one, my spin on Protective Hollanov (and good practise for um, others fics...)

Chapter 55: Shanebug

Chapter Summary

I keep seeing people posting stuff re 'shanebug' and I start kicking my feet cause it's so cute - so here is some shanebug moments :D

 

Also we got our sassy boy last chapter - now we get fond baby

Chapter Notes

So in my infinite wisdom (I have none) I started writing chapters across the place and got myself stuck lmao - so my plan is the following - update this fic, then Double Trouble then Mentioned You.

I'm hoping to time the last few chapters of this fic with the release of my next WIP - but that is a non-text based fic so it takes a wee bit longer to get together.

I love you all, the support has been insane and seeing the end on the horizon makes me teary.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

- Montreal and Ilya- 

 

Ilya: pike

Hayden: yes?

Ilya: did you know?

Hayden: how, after all these years, I thought you would provide any context, is really my own fault

Hayden: did I know what???

Mitty: mom they're fighting again

Drapeau: someone get shannneee

Comeau: fight fight fight

JJ: I want to know what the question is referring too cause you stole our captain

Ilya: cry about it

Ilya: his nickname, why did no one tell me his nickname???

Hayden: I am so so fucking confused right now

Mitty: I mean you knew we call him Holzy???

Ilya: not that one

Ilya: your children pike, they called him shanebug

Ilya: what is this???

Hayden: oh that

JJ: You let Rozanov babysit???

Hayden: he is annoyingly good with kids

Ilya: (✿◡‿◡)

Mitty: OMG SHANEBUG IS BACK??

Ilya: MITTY YOU KNEW??

Ilya: BETRAYAL

JJ: it started as a joke

Drapeau: his mom spilt that was what they called him as a baby

Comeau: so when he did something, ya know

Mitty: cute

JJ: We called it a Shanebug moment

Ilya: :O

Mitty: he legit hates it I swear so probably why he never mentioned it

Hayden: but my kids know what it is cause they heard me say it

Hayden: so the girls pull it out when they want something from their dear uncle shane 

Comeau: dude your kids are evil sometimes

Drapeau: masterminds

Hayden: I'm well aware

Ilya: I have been deprived 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya - 

 

Ilya: shanebug

Shane: No.

Ilya: Shane. Bug. :D

Shane: Divorce.

Ilya: D:

Shane: xoxo

Ilya: this is unfair

Ilya: I tell Yuna

Shane: Ilya!

Ilya: （￣︶￣）

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Hollanders Chat -

 

Ilya: Yunnnaa

Yuna: what's up sweetheart?

Ilya: No one told me about Shanebug :(

David: He has tried to ban us from using that now

Ilya: so rude

Yuna: I made the mistake of saying it in earshot of his team, he was a very grumpy bug then

Shane: Mom.

Shane: Mom, please.

Yuna: what? you were grumpy

Ilya: I must know all of the Shanebug stories

Shane: I will block you

David: I have a photo album somewhere

Shane: Dad!

Ilya: :D

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Children - 

 

Mitty: we are passing on the mantle to Ottawa for this

JJ: Pay close attention

Drapeau: it is very important

Comeau: regarding Shane

Hayden: notes next to be taken

Bood: ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

Barrett: 👀

Haas: ⚆_⚆

Hayes: ⊙﹏⊙∥

Dykstra: stressed, but continue 

Hayden: let Montreal tell you a tale

Mitty: of the mythical Shanebug

Connors: Oh I am sat for this one ✨

St-Simon: Connor, drug test, Monday.

Connor: rats.

Marlow: that was a given.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's - 

 

Dykstra: RUN RUN RUN

Barrett: now why the fuck would tell him we knew

Bood: FUCKING MOVE FASTER HAYES OR IM LEAVING YOU

Hayes: HES CHASING ME HELP

Hayes: HES CATXHUG UP

Haas: running so fast he can't spell

Hayes: HELP HEALP HAP

Ilya: I wonder if they will give us security footage of this

Haas: if you ask Wiebe maybe 

Ilya: smart

Bood: HES GOT HAYES IN A HEADLOCK

Bood: CAPPPP HELLLPPP

Dykstra: THIS IS NOT VERY SHANEBUG OF YOU HOLLY

Haas: are you forgetting he can read this back?

Dykstra: FUUCCKK

Barrett: update, Holly has Dykstra and Hayes down

Barrett: Bood is trying to back away but has been spotted

Barrett: I didnt think Bood could run that fast

Ilya: he may as well surrender 

Haas: Shane's gonna catch him

Chouinard: WAGs have been informed their husbands may not make it back

Ilya: HA

Haas: dont laugh too much Cap

Ilya: ???

Haas: Mom is coming back inside 

Haas: hes got his "Ilya Rozanov-Hollander what the fuck did you do" face on

Ilya: this is how I die

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Children - 

 

Hayden: rookie move telling him you knew about Shanebug without it being a Shanebug moment

Hayes: shut up pike

Bood: how the fuck is he so fast

Dykstra: fucking speed demon

Mitty: lmao remember when he tackled Hayden in the parking lot?

Comeau: HA YEP

Connor: now that one is a good story

Haas: we got footage of Shane hauling Dykstra and Hayes around

Drapeau: shareee

Haas: if you send us the clip of Hayden getting tackled :)

JJ: Done

Hayden: d u d e

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's - 

 

Ilya: is everyone there?

Bood: yeah cap, where are you guys?

Ilya: we've got coffee

Bood: for yourselves??

Ilya: yes bood, Shane and I will be drinking a hockey teams worth of caffeine 

Bood: well that cant be good for you

Hayes: did you crack your head on the pavement?

Ilya: Shane wanted to get everyone their coffee order

Dykstra: Shane knows our coffee orders?

Ilya: he has them in his notes app

Haas: awwhh

Barrett: niccee

Bood: is this what Montreal would call

Bood: a Shanebug moment?

Haas: omg it is

Haas: wait let me ask Mitty brb

Ilya: 👀👀

Haas: confirmed Shanebug moment

Dykstra: AWWHH WE GOT ONE

Hayes: YAAAYYY

Shane: I will takes these coffee's back

Haas: D:

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- St-Simon and Shane -

 

Sr-Simon: sooo

St-Simon: shanebug aye?

Shane: shut the fuck up

Shane: winnie vinnie 

St-Simon: low blow dude

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's WAG Chat -

 

Cassie: Shannnneeee

Shane: whats up?

Cassie: I need you to like, stop being so cute with kids

Shane: huh?

Caitlin: the family fun day photos came out

Shane: ohh

Cassie: like fucking parDON

Lisa: she's got a point

Selena: can we talk about how when the little girl tripped into his leg?? And he just?? Set her upright with a little pat to the head???

Shane: was I supposed to let her fall????

Harris: she means it was sweet 

Shane: oohhhh

Selena: clueless man ☠️

Harris: oh you have given me an ideaaaa

Shane: ????

Shane: Ella help me

Ella: You'll be fine

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Twitter -

 

↳ The Centaurs @Centaurs_Official

 

We went back in the archives (Thank you to Momma Hollander for the dates) and found this cutie! #shanebug #shanehollanderishome

 

[Image Attachment: Baby Shane, in Centaurs Jersey, a ladybug painted on his cheek]

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Harris and Shane -

 

Shane: dude

Harris: (^-^)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Children - 

 

Hayes: I require examples 

Hayes: favourite shanebug moment

Hayes: gO

Comeau: stress um

Drapeau: I got a picture of him eating sorbet ans spacing out 

 

- Drapeau Has Sent One Image Attachment -

 

Drapeau: like come on

Hayes: 1. IM SAVING THAT

Hayes: 2. perfect 

Ilya: new screensaver 

Haas: awwhh

Hayden: he sits with Arthur on his lap, nose to nose and they just stare, quietly, for like 10 minutes 

Ilya: I am having heart attack

Marlow: Hollander and Kids?

Marlow: rip rozzy 

Mitty: catch him in casual clothes and mentally not on time to the schedule he made, he shuffles on the spot till he can leave the convo

Connors: mom will book it the minute he's able

JJ: lowkey I wanna know

JJ: now that Rozanov knows of the elusive shanebug

JK: if he has anything 

Bood: surely hes remembered something at

Haas: 👀

St-Simon: well now im curious too

Carmichael: rooozzzaannnooovvv

Ilya: 👀👀👀

Ilya: I have the most important story

Hayes: im taking notes

Barrett: atp I think he has a list on his phone 

Ilya: I do not open door quick enough and I was given angry kitten face shanebug 😤 

JJ: when was this ☠️

Drapeau: 100% it was the hook-up era

Hayden: ☠️☠️☠️

Ilya: possibly 

Mitty: lmao wait 

Mitty: Connor remember this one?

Connors: omfg is iT

Mitty: I think so

Ilya: shane told you this?

Connors: he told us a lot at the wedding

Bood: im confused

Dykstra: what do you guys know?

Mitty: Scott Hunter was next door to Ilyas room

Hayden: y'all did not-

JJ: omfg

Drapeau: whorreessss

Comeau: 🥲🥲🥲

Barrett: HA-

Ilya: unfortunately true 😔

Connors: do you think Hunter knew? Or ever thought?

Ilya: that it was Shane? No

Ilya: that heard things and could not make eye contact next day with me? Yes

Hayden: oh dude gross

Ilya: shane does not know that

Ilya: you do not tell

Barrett: yucckk

Chapter End Notes

Shanebug you will be the end of me I swear to god

 

I'm really sorry how MIA some fics have been and I've been in updating :(

Chapter 56: Hollonov Meets Haircut

Chapter Summary

WELL I did have a different chapter planned but this buzz cut did have to be addressed in the characters realm.

Chapter Notes

I am hereeeeeeee and I loooovveeee youuuuuuuuuuu

See the end of the chapter for more notes

 

- Shane and Ilya - 

 

Shane: Ilya.

Ilya: yes?

Shane: What did you get up too today?

Ilya: this feels aggressive 

Shane: Answer my question

Shane: Husband.

Ilya: (・・;)

Ilya: No, no I dont think I will.

Shane: Ilya Hollander-Rozanov 

Ilya: bye bye

Shane: Ilya!

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- New Cen's Chat -



Ilya: As your captain 

Ilya: YOU SAY NOTHING 

Haas: dont ask me to lie to mom 😭

Bood: DUDE HES GONNA TAKE US OUT TOO IF WE HELP U

Hayes: UR ON UR OWN BROTHER

Barrett: dude what if he assembles the wags/saps chat?

Ilya: ！！(゜ロ゜ノ)ノ

Dykstra: did he whole ass make a new chat without Shane to try and get us to cover for him???

Ilya: yes

Dykstra: dumbass

Ilya: I will smack you

Dykstra: not if Holly gets you first

Ilya: ⊙﹏⊙∥

Bood: all in favour of giving Holly screenshots and saving our asses??

Hayes: YEP

Barrett: lmao yep I choose life

Dykstra: bruh wont catch me saying no to avoding an ass whoopin

Ilya: ...baby haasy?

Haas: sorry cap

Ilya: BETRAYAAALLLLLLLLL

Ilya: Out of the will

Haas: wait I was in the will?

Ilya: NOT ANYMORE

Haas: D:

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Bears and Ilya - 

 

Marlow: Bro did you actual do it

Marlow: im cackling 

Connors: no way 

St-Simon: will believe it when I see it

Carmichael: lmao bet you Shane was not impressed when he saw you do it

Ilya: so about this

Marlow: omfg you didn't give Shane the heads up did you brother

Connors: DUMB DUMB

St-Simon: not that you gotta ask before you SHAVE UR HEAD but maybe give your routine loving husband A HEADS UP would be smart

Carmichael: ROOKIE MOVE

Marlow: NOVICEEEE

Ilya: I am being bULLIED

Connors: humbled***

Ilya: fUck YoU

Marlow: bet you Shane aint fuckin you for this one

Connors: you have full confidence he aint hiding in your pantry Marlow when you sent that

Marlow: I checked the pantry first

Connors: HAH

St-Simon: lmao Godspeed Ilya

Carmichael: was lovely knowing youuuuuuuu

Ilya:  (￣0￣)/

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya -

 

Shane: you can't hide forever

Shane: I want to see if you actually did this

Ilya: I am invisible 

Ilya: Not here

Ilya: please leave message after beep

Ilya: BEEEEEPPP

Shane: you and I both know you don't listen to voicemails for one

Shane: two, you would never send me to voicemail

Ilya: (*/ω＼*)

Shane: THREE

Shane: let me see if you actually did this

Ilya: ..AI?

Shane: noPe

Ilya: you cannot catch meeee

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's WAG Chat - 

 

Cassie: Anyone else's husband prepping for dooms day?

Caitlin: oohh yep

Shane: did you see the pictures?

Lisa: who hasnT

Harris: I know no peace in this job

Shane: if it makes you feel better Harris

Shane: I got no heads up either 😒

Harris: *gasp*

Lisa: ohhhhhhh Ilyaaaaa

Caitlin: you gotta mention if you gonna shave your head my guy

Selena: oh shaney boy

Shane: I liked his curls :(

Shane: do not get me wrong - he's pulling it off

Shane: but curls :(

Harris: has he shown you yet?

Shane: dodging me like the plague 

Selena: ROZANOV

Selena: smh this man

Ella: He's in the parking lot, talking with my husband and probably stalling.

Ella: Do with that what you will.

Shane: I an buying you a very expensive bottle of wine Ella.

Ella: Red is preferrable. 

Shane: Hey Selena

Selena: yessss?

Shane: you live closest to me 

Shane: yeah?

Selena: Indeed 

Selena: ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

Harris: pls dont make my job harder

Shane: neevvverrrr

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's - 

 

Chouinard: lmao heads up Cap

Ilya: ....

Chouinard: Selena just went to your house

Chouinard: giggling

Ilya: Shane

Ilya: Shane what did you do

Shane: :)

Shane: nothing dear

Haas: ohhhh boy

Bood: here we go

Hayes: battle of the husbands

Barrett: better get home cap

Ilya: ⚆_⚆

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Soren and Connors - 

 

Connor: bets that Shane puts him in a wig

Soren: nah nah 

Soren: bet is that Shane does something to rile Ilya up as punishment

Connor: trueeee

Connor: hey Soren

Soren: yeah?

Connor: you know you dont need permission to do anything for youself

Soren: yeaahh??

Connor: great

Connor: shave your head and I WILL glue your hair back on

Soren: well there goes my summer plans

Connor: not funny

Soren: ( ＾ω＾ )

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Svetlana and Ilya - 

 

Svetlana: you did not tell Shane???

Ilya: oops?

Svetlana: I will help him hide the body

Ilya: щ(ʘ╻ʘ)щ

 

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Rose and Shane - 

 

Rose: soooo

Rose: what do you thinkkkk

Shane: :( curlssss :(

Rose: ooft Ilya good luck man

Shane: :((((

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Montreal - 

 

Drapeau: brrooo

Comeau: hope you told Holzy beforehand

Mitty: he did not

Hayden: HAH STUPID

Ilya: shut up Pike

JJ: RIP

Ilya: you are ALL uninvited from next BBQ

Mitty: even meeee

Ilya: -.-

Mitty: :)))

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Chouinard - 

 

Ilya: your wife scares me

Chouinard: ...what did she do?

Ilya: she hides my Shane's freckles 😔😔😔

Chouinard: HAHAHA

Chouinard: oh you got off light she could've helped him go nuclear 

Ilya: ....remind me what wine she likes please

Chouinard: 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Ilya - 

 

Ilya: freckles :((((

Shane: curls :((((

Ilya: I am sorry I did not tell you

Shane: You can do whatever you damn well please with your hair baby

Shane: just warn me 

Ilya: :D 

Ilya: freckles come back now?

Shane: ohh no

Shane: you can sit with this one

Ilya: booooo

Shane: although I will say

Shane: your head is like a sensory board now

Ilya: seeeee

Ilya: benefits

Shane: but what am I meant to pull on now? :(

Ilya: whY would you tell me this oH

Ilya: e v i l

Shane: :)

 

Chapter End Notes

hehehe

Chapter 57: Wisdom Teeth and Car Shenanigans

Chapter Summary

We're back and ready for cracK - also dont mind me I gave first names to the other cen's rookies lmao

Chapter Notes

....announcement at the end of the chapter

See the end of the chapter for more notes

 

- The Hollanders - 

 

Ilya: Am taking Shane to emergency room

Ilya: Puck got him to side of face yesterday but it has not stopped hurting

Ilya: he said it was "fine" but they now think tooth was cracked

Yuna: Oh jesus

David: Concussion?

Ilya: Not that they think

Ilya: Just broken tooth 

Yuna: Did he pass out?

Ilya: No, was awake the whole time after 

David: Need us there son?

Ilya: not for now, but if you could take care of Anya

David: No worries

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Wiebe and Ilya - 

 

Wiebe: How is he doing?

Ilya: Bit of pain, they said he needs the teeth taken out

Wiebe: I figured they would

Wiebe: Let us know any updates or if you need anything okay?

Ilya: Will do coach 

Wiebe: He's going to be okay Ilya

Ilya: Yes 

Ilya: Will feel better once he is back home

Wiebe: Do you need someone to come sit with you?

Ilya: No

Ilya: Maybe

Ilya: not sure

Wiebe: I can come or I can send the rookies to keep you company 

Ilya: ...

Ilya: You please

Wiebe: On my way

Wiebe: Won't tell the rookies that one

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's - 

 

Bood: any update on Holly?

Hayes: Wiebe said Cap told him the teeth have to come out

Dykstra: fucking ouch man

Haas: How did it even happen?

Barrett: Cap said he woke up feeling a bit shit, which fair he got a puck to the face yesterday, but the pain just got worse 

Haas: fuuckkk

Ilya: They are taking his teeth out at the moment

Ilya: tooth was fractured 

Ilya: I will fracture the players face next time to see how he likes it

Bood: ...I'll pretend we didn't see that for plausible deniability 

Barrett: its gonne be obvious when it happens anyway

Bood: lmao watch them put him on IR for our next game together just to be sure

Hayes: he's probably shitting his pants knowing he cracked Holly's tooth

Haas: poor Shane

Bood: ooft been there, they give you some good meds for it tho so he shouldn't feel bad after

Dykstra: at least it was a home game so he can go right home after

Ilya: yes

Bood: Keep us posted Cap

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Ilya and Montreal - 

 

Hayden: he doing okay?

Ilya: loopy but home

Ilya: with two less teeth

JJ: o u c h

Drapeau: at least it wasnt cause they were infected

Comeau: omfg true

Comeau: remember when that happened to Mitty?

Mitty: do not remind ne

Mitty: I actual thought it was the end of me 

Ilya: big bruise though for Shane 

Mitty: ooft yeah 

Hayden: did it break skin?

Ilya: small but yes

Hayden: big ouch

Ilya: he is off in the lala land

JJ: more or less compared to when his collarbone was broken??

Comeau: 👀👀👀👀

Ilya: more

Hayden: oh now this we gotta see

Mitty: omfg yes please

Ilya: tell him I sent a video

Ilya: and I'll send you running

Drapeau: yeah yeah

Drapeau: send the video rozanov 

JJ: Least you can do SINCE YOU STOLE HIM

Ilya: 😏😏😏😏

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Rose and Shane - 

 

Shane: rroooosseeee

Shane: rossieeeeee

Shane: :((((

Rose: Oh Jesus they have you on the good painkillers if you are calling me Rosie

Rose: How are you feeling babe?

Shane: :D

Rose: Not bad then?

Shane: they took my teeth

Rose: Yeah hun they were broken

Shane D:

Shane: stole them

Rose: The dentist?

Shane: mmhm

Rose: Okay Babe ask your husband to ask for them at your check-up

Shane: you are so smart

Rose: and you are adorable

Shane: am not

Shane: am hockey player

Rose: okay sweet pea

Shane: (*/ω＼*)

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's - 

 

Shane: am live

Shane: weee

Bood: oop-

Hayes: good to hear Holly

Shane: but this is a text??

Hayes: oh jesus

Haas: ...is he high?

Ilya: very

Shane: no :(

Ilya: yes

Shane: no

Ilya: yes

Barrett: well thats gonna go on forever

Dykstra: pfftttt

Shane :((((

Dykstra: awh cap you made him sad

Ilya: do not say that

Shane: ...

Shane: (˘･_･˘)

Ilya: if he cries again i will run you over

Haas: again?

Ilya: nature documentary was a bad choice on my part

Haas: oooftttt

Bod: need anything cap?

Ilya: a tranquiliser

Bood: ..for you or Holly?

Ilya: eh

Ilya: either or

Shane: rude

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Shane and Boston - 

 

Shane: we beat youuu last timmeee

St-Simon: oh he is high as a fucking kite rn

Marlow: this is too good

Shane: stole ya captainnnn

Connor: omfg

Carmichael: I can't even be mad about the reminder

Shane: :D

Connor: you good mom?

Shane: yes

Shane: they stole my teeth 

Connor: rude

Shane: yes

Shane: rude

Shane: how rufe

Shane: rufe

Shane: r u d e

Connor: ☠️☠️☠️☠️

St-Simon: someone tell rozzy to get his husband to bed

Shane: no

Shane: can't take him to bed

Shane: face is bloody

Shane: not the hot way :(

Carmichael: HA

Marlow: set yourself up for that one dude

St-Simon: whY do I bother

Shane: ur old

St-Simon: fml

Connor: now who needs the drug test

Marlow: still you

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- The Cen's Rookies - 

 

LaPointe: Haasy has Cap given the go ahead?

Haas: He said Shane's a little less loopy now and we can drop in for an hour

Holmberg: fuck yeaahhh

Young: who's drivinggggg

LaPointe: me dipshit

LaPointe: you dont have a licence 

Young: ...(*￣０￣)ノ

Young: slander

Young: but you right tho

Haas: smh anyway

Haas: see you idiots soon

Holmberg: ....can we stop for milkshakes?

LaPointe: am I just an uber to you 😑😑

Holmberg: yes

LaPointe: b r u h h h 

Haas: oh shut up you want one too dont lie

LaPointe: f i n e

Young: I have the BEST IDEA

Haas: ah fuck here go 

Young: ::>_<::

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Twitter

 

↳ Luca Haas @haasyluca

Going on a trip in our favourite rocket ship (to visit our Shane to make him feel better)

[Video Attachment: Phone placed in holder on the dash, LaPointe the drivers seat, Luca in the passenger seat, Holmberg and Young in the back. All holding milkshakes. LaPointe plays with the radio before the intro song to Sofia The First begins to play, all four boys singing loudly along.]

↳↳ Erik Holmberg @berggyE

    @haasyluca petition for drives with the rookies being an official segment on our youtube account

    ↳↳↳ Gabriel LaPointe @pointeg

            @berggyE unless YOU are paying for the GAZ in MY car 😑

↳↳ Louis Young @young_louis

     @haasyluca we are the best hockey choir in the league 

↳↳ Ilya Rozanov @ilyarozanov

     This is why we do not leave you unsupervised for long.

↳↳ Zane Boodram  @zbood

     Boys. You are off key, what is this? 

↳↳ Shane Hollander @shane_hollander

     Look at the babiesss 

    ↳↳↳ Luca Haas @haasyluca

          @ilyarozanov is Shane meant to be on his phone

          ↳↳↳  Ilya Rozanov @ilyarozanov

                   no 😔

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

- Harris and Haas - 

 

Harris: Luca. Haas.

Haas: WHY ME

Harris: First one to respond.

Haas: Mother fucker

Harris: Wtf are you doing posting this 😔😔

Haas: Wanted the fans to see we were on our way to help Holly...

Harris: BY POSTING A VIDEO OF Y'ALL SINGING THE INTRO SONG TO SOFIA THE FIRST???

Haas: Yeah! :D

Harris: C O P Y R I G H T 

Haas: Oh D:

Harris: oh my gooodddd

Harris: all of you

Harris: giving me GREY HAIR

Haas: ...

Haas: (✿◠‿◠)

Haas: you love us

Harris: u g h

 

Chapter End Notes

Made you laughhh (I hope)

Now I make you cry (maybe)

Despite having said it many times before and then contradicting myself... it is with very very mixed emotions I can announce this fic will conclude at chapter 60. I've road mapped the ending and I hope to god you guys like it and I do this fic justice.

I'll give more of a emotion filled spiel come the last chapter but I cannot honest to god thank any of you enough for the engagement, the love and the joy you guys have given this fic and myself.

This will not be the end of my fic posting! I still have Mentioned You, and a current longform WIP which should be released as this fic ends.

This does also mean I am announcing the next chapter of Double Trouble will be its last too.

I love you all, thank you for what you have done for me and giving me the enjoyment of writing back - I've actually started planning non-fanfic pieces again and hope to do something with it eventually.

Keep being the sunshine, the world needs it.

Afterword

Works inspired by this one
5 times connor asked his mom (i.e. shane) for help + 1 time shane asked connor for help by thepurveyoroflatenightreading
Genom eld och vatten by emusclarinet
shane and connor: the sequel nobody asked for by thepurveyoroflatenightreading
snapshots of connor's first christmas with the hollanders (& ilya) by thepurveyoroflatenightreading
scott hunter’s very confusing nhl awards afterparty experience by thepurveyoroflatenightreading
excerpts from the phone of luca haas as he slowly lets himself be adopted by shane hollander by thepurveyoroflatenightreading
Snap shots (from the outside) by Chem_Narwhal
yuna and david hollander get to meet the rest of the grandchildren by thepurveyoroflatenightreading
scott hunter gets the answers to questions he didn't even have before by thepurveyoroflatenightreading
christmas with mom and Ilya by Steve_the_mighty
I'm Just Happy You Still Call by im_normal_about_everything

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