Preface
Guard Your Man
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/83364461.
- Rating:
- General Audiences
- Archive Warning:
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Category:
- M/M
- Fandoms:
- Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
- Relationship:
- Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
- Characters:
- Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Scott Hunter (Game Changers), Carter Vaughn, Hayden Pike, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau
- Additional Tags:
- Hockey Fights, Social Media, Mentions of Real Hockey Players, Slight Cannon divergence, Most of them work from a timeline perspective, Some of them do not, Please don't judge me, It's mostly just the fans kinda catching on that the rivalry is a marketing thing, and that Hollanov are probably friends behind the scenes, tweets and images embedded, Fluff, Episode: s01e05 I'll Believe in Anything (Heated Rivalry)
- Language:
- English
- Stats:
- Published: 2026-04-18 Words: 9,751 Chapters: 1/1
Guard Your Man
Summary
In Hockey, when a fight breaks out, all other players pair off with a player on the opposite team to prevent anybody else from entering the fight. It's a form of self policing to prevent a 2 on 1. Players guard their man to stop unfair play.
Or
Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov always pair off during fights. It's apparently a tradition, and the fans can't get enough of it.
Notes
This all started with my own tumblr post and snowballed a lot.
Thank you to ao3 user @starskin for her work skin that allowed the tweets! So please make sure you allow for creator's style. (Although if there are accessibility issues I can be very easily convinced to do a second chapter with the exact same content and none of the HTML)
I am an AI hater through and through, and I can't draw, so enjoy my shitty photo edits of Shane and Ilya in actual screen caps from hockey games that I have watched (mostly Rangers games because I am for better or for worse a New York fan).
Guard Your Man
Fight number 1: October 2010
The first time Ilya is actually on the ice when a fight breaks out during his MLH career, is in a game against Montreal. They’re tied 1 to 1, and Boston has the puck in Montreal’s zone. If they can just get the puck to Ilya he has an opening to get them ahead. Unfortunately, the Boston Raiders are not that smart yet. They don't really know how to use Ilya, especially not against Shane Hollander. Instead of playing like actual professionals, an asshole D-man on Ilya’s line, Sorokin, decides to trip Montreal’s goalie in the crease. Ilya’s made some dirty plays, but he knows that you never mess with a goalie, especially not one as dramatic as Miitka. Miitka takes a dive, and Montreal’s captain immediately throws a punch.
It’s almost instinctive for Ilya to skate closer to the action, but before he can move an inch he feels something holding him back.
“Stay out of it, Rozanov,” Hollander whispers, just loud enough for Ilya to hear.
Ilya looks back at him, about to push off Hollander’s hand, when he sees Marleau and Pike holding each other against the boards. Across the ice, the rest of the linemen are paired off, watching the fight with various levels of interest. It seems this fight won’t escalate past a one on one. And Ilya knows there is a zero percent chance that hockey’s stupid golden boy is going to fight him.
The whole thing is relatively boring until Montreal’s captain lands a nasty punch to Sorokin's jaw. Ilya immediately smiles. Good. That dick may be on his team, but he needed to be taken down a peg. He might think he’s clever saying his bigoted bullshit in Russian, but Ilya knows everything that goes on in his locker room. One day Sorokin is going to cross a line, and Ilya will happily make sure everyone on the team gets their pound of flesh.
He finds himself laughing when he hears Hollander mumble “Jesus Christ,” at a particularly nasty hit. It’s the closest Hollander has ever come to cursing in public, and it’s the most delighted Ilya has ever felt in his presence.
The fight ends when Montreal’s captain knocks Sorokin’s tooth out. Ilya laughs, and Shane lets out an embarrassing yelp as the missing tooth skitters towards his skates. It makes Ilya laugh even harder.
The game continues normally, if a bit uneventfully, after the blood gets cleaned off the ice. With their best D-Man out for the rest of the game, Montreal (Shane Hollander specifically) is able bring the score up to 2-1, where it stays.
Ilya blames Sorokin and his stupid face for the loss. And, even though it makes no sense, he blames Sorokin for the fact that he doesn’t actually get to see Hollander after the game.
Man In The Crease
@MITCPodcast
Rivals Hollander and Rozanov leave the fighting for their teammates in first MLH game against each other.
9:43 PM · Oct 11, 2010
2.8K Retweets 530 Quote Tweets 12.5K Likes
Dunkin Deez Nuts
@sh1ping0ff2B0ston
Not Rozanov laughing at his own teammate losing a tooth
10:30 PM · Oct 11, 2010
26 Retweets 1 Quote Tweets 302 Likes
Grayson @BrewSki · Oct 11, 2010 Replying to @sh1ping0ff2B0ston
Rumor is Sorokin is a dick, and all the Russian players have confirmed it
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Dunkin Deez Nuts @sh1ping0ff2B0ston · Oct 11, 2010 Replying to @BrewSki
Rozanov also seems like a dick so this tracks
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I am Josh
@HimTortons
Hollander looking at that fight the way my 6 year old looks at literally any vegetable
10:22 PM · Oct 11, 2010
8 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 567 Likes
Callie
@CalliePax02
They’re just babies WTF????????
10:13 PM · Oct 11, 2010
10 Retweets 22 Quote Tweets 1.3K Likes
George Is Here
@BarTenderGeorge
You just know Rozanov wanted in on that
10:45 PM · Oct 11, 2010
102 Retweets 26 Quote Tweets 1.4K Likes
ITS HOCKEY SEASON
@getYourPhil
Of course Mitty is a dramatic bitch. Sorokin didn’t do shit.
12:31 AM · Oct 12, 2010
27 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 1.5K Likes
Red Blooded Canadian Male @wad3wils0n · Oct 12, 2010 Replying to @getYourPhil
Sorokin literally tripped him. Its on video and was reviewed by BOSTON refs
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ITS HOCKEY SEASON @getYourPhil · Oct 12, 2010 Replying to @wad3wils0n
Mitty is famous for overreacting
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Red Blooded Canadian Male @wad3wils0n · Oct 12, 2010 Replying to @getYourPhil
then Sorokin is an idiot for going near the guy who will take a dive to get somebody else benched. Stupid games stupid prizes and all that jazz
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Cole @detCole3 · Oct 12, 2010 Replying to @getYourPhil
I mean, even the Boston fans are pretty happy to see that guy get punched
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Igor
@IggiePlaysHockey
Those children should be in school
11:45 PM · Oct 11, 2010
2.4K Retweets 463 Quote Tweets 16.1K Likes
Wes
@Pige0nMan
These two idiots can’t do anything apart, first their draft, then their scoring race, now their first MLH fight.
6:38 AM · Oct 12, 2010
14 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 40 Likes
Hayden Pike
@realHaydenPike
I have a new favorite Shane picture 😂😂😂
11:22 AM · Oct 12, 2010
4.3K Retweets 500 Quote Tweets 16.7K Likes
Hollander? I Barely Know Her @puckitup · Oct 12, 2010 Replying to @realHaydenPike
He actually took the time to crop Ilya out of the photo. The haterizm in this man is unmatched.
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Rob
@bahaBlasted
Sorokin loses a fucking tooth and all you guys want to talk about is this dumb rivalry?
2:25 AM · Oct 12, 2010
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Red Blooded Canadian Male @wad3wils0n · Oct 12, 2010 Replying to @bahaBlasted
They're girls who want to fuck the hot hockey guys, give them a break, let them have fun
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Julia has warped tour tickets @MichaelRomance · Oct 12, 2010 Replying to @wad3wils0n
Some of the girls want the hot hockey guys to fuck each other.
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Rob @bahaBlasted · Oct 12, 2010 Replying to @MichaelRomance
Blocked
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Fight number 2: November 2011
The fight breaks out less than a minute into the third. Shane is so focused on getting the puck from Rozanov that he’s not even really sure what started it. All he knows is that JJ is punching Connors, and people are starting to pair off. He and Rozanov are nowhere near the fight, but Rozanov still wraps his arm around Shane’s waist to keep him in place.
Shane bristles at the contact. It’s too familiar, especially in front of a sold out game. He tries to pull further away, back away from the fight so people know he isn’t trying to join the scrum, when Rozanov tightens his grip.
Shane flinches when Rozanov leans in closer.
“We will make this interesting yes? Whoever’s teammate wins gets to come first.”
Shane jerks back and stares at him. Rozanov simply offers him a sly grin.
JJ loses. It’s not even a contest.
Without JJ on the ice, the Raiders eke out a win.
Three hours later Shane can’t stay mad because he is having the single hottest sexual encounter of his entire life.
Hollander? I Barely Know Her
@puckitup
My kingdom to know what ilya said to have shane hollander stare into the camera like this.
7:50 PM · Nov 3, 2011
103 Retweets 54 Quote Tweets 1.2K Likes
Hayden Pike @realHaydenPike · Nov 3, 2011 Replying to @puckitup
In my experience with Shane, it could have been literally anything.
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Hollander? I Barely Know Her @puckitup · Nov 3, 2011 Replying to @realHaydenPike
HAYDEN PIKE?????
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Red Blooded Canadian Male
@wad3wils0n
Hollander looks like he wants to blow up Rozanov with his mind It’s taking me TF out
7:51 PM · Nov 3, 2011
73 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 826 Likes
I am Josh
@HimTortons
Shane Hollander RN:
7:56 PM · Nov 3, 2011
65 Retweets 36 Quote Tweets 914 Likes
Wes Brooks
@TheWesBrook
I gotta say, excellent mental strike from Rozanov
7:59 PM · Nov 3, 2011
21 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 94 Likes
Zara Clarion
@ZaraFromThatBand
guys hear me out....
8:02 PM · Nov 3, 2011
4 Retweets 0 Quote Tweets 22 Likes
Topher Bella @TopherFromThatBand · Nov 3, 2011 Replying to @ZaraFromThatBand
No
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Zara Clarion @ZaraFromThatBand · Nov 3, 2011 Replying to @TopherFromThat Band
You're no fun
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Grayson
@BrewSki
Guess what Ilya was saying, funniest answer gets 11 bucks on Venmo
8:35 PM · Nov 3, 2011
254 Retweets 89 Quote Tweets 479 Likes
Lola Loves Shane @shanesFreckles · Nov 3, 2011 Replying to @BrewSki
They’re shutting down Canada Dry
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Zack @nightwingingit · Nov 3, 2011 Replying to @BrewSki
I’m the original author of my immortal
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Jude Builds Computers @judeMelrose · Nov 3, 2011 Replying to @BrewSki
I’m calling about your car’s extended warranty
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Wes @Pige0nMan · Nov 3, 2011 Replying to @BrewSki
If you or a loved one is suffering from mesothelioma you may be entitled to compensation
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Spence Has a Sword @spenceeeeee · Nov 3, 2011 Replying to @BrewSki
I’ve put a goose in your locker room
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Fight Number 3: January 2012
Ilya knows that Carmichael is about to get punched in the face before it even happens. He had said something gross, but not particularly abnormal for a chirp, about Jackie Pike. Ilya knows exactly 3 things about Hayden pike: He’s somehow Hollander’s best friend, he’s, at best, the 15th ranked metros player, and he’s crazy about his wife. Even Ilya “Rage-Baiter Extraordinaire” Rozanov isn’t dumb enough to say anything about her to his face.
Hayden predictably drops his gloves, and packs a harder punch than Ilya expected. Within seconds everyone is pairing off. Ilya startles a little when Hollander skates over to him from more than 20 feet away, where he could conceivably pair off with Connors. He’s even more stunned when Hollander casually slings an arm across his shoulders.
They texted about this for hours the last time they paired off for a fight. Ilya had insisted that nobody would actually make the connection that they were fucking. It had staved off Hollander’s panic attack long enough for them to return to their stunted attempts at flirting, but he didn’t actually think Hollander would take it to heart. The man was apparently filled with surprises.
“Hollander,” Ilya says as a greeting, as they watch Pike land a pretty impressive punch.
“Rozanov,” Hollander says back. Ilya can hear the smug grin on his stupid hot face. “20 Bucks says Hayden wins.”
That catches Ilya so off guard that he bursts out laughing. So Mr Hockey wants to be funny. Ilya can work with that.
Pike does win the fight. But the Raiders still win the game.
Ilya doesn’t give Shane $20; he annoyingly doesn't even get to see him after the post-game press.
Svetlana Vetrova
@Sveta
Girl! No man is that funny!
9:48 PM · Jan 22, 2012
314 Retweets 28 Quote Tweets 1.5K Likes
Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81 · Jan 22, 2012 Replying to @Sveta
You had to be there.
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Lip Reader Girl
@ireadlips
Shane said “20 bucks says Hayden wins.”
10:06 PM · Jan 22, 2012
481 Retweets 121 Quote Tweets 2.7K Likes
Addie @AddieDraws · Jan 24, 2012 Replying to @ireadlips
Those bitches can’t lie to me forever. I know they’re friends.
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Grayson @BrewSki · Jan 22, 2012 Replying to @ireadlips
Does Rozanov have to pony up or does the hatty make them even?
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I Am Josh @HimTortons · Jan 22, 2012 Replying to @ireadlips
I thought Russians were supposed to have *good* senses of humor
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Ilya Rozanov
@rozanov81
which is more annoying for hollander? 20 dollars in American pennies, or giant novelty cheque? need to know before I send to him
11:42 AM · Jan 24, 2012
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Shane Hollander @hollander24 · Jan 24, 2012 Replying to @rozanov81
I will never give you my mailing address.
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Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81 · Jan 24, 2012 Replying to @hollander24
I have my methods
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Svetlana Vetrova
@Sveta
Stop asking if Ilya is in the mob! Do you think a man that laughs at jokes that stupid could possibly be a Bratva?
3:22 pM · Jan 24, 2012
314 Retweets 28 Quote Tweets 1.5K Likes
Banned From Yelling Practice
@elizziebeth13
Biggest rivalry in the NHL and its millionaires who aren’t old enough to drink betting $20 over their idiot teammates
11:13 PM · Jan 25, 2012
81 Retweets 56 Quote Tweets 3.4K Likes
Wes
@Pige0nMan
Is this illegal sports betting?
12:13 AM · Jan 25, 2012
37 Retweets 12 Quote Tweets 654 Likes
Hayden Pike
@realHaydenPike
Shane just dropped a bunch of American pennies off at my house?
6:25 PM · Jan 28, 2012
725 Retweets 381 Quote Tweets 6.2K Likes
Red Blooded Canadian Male @wad3wils0n · Jan 28, 2012 Replying to @realHaydenPike
I think we’re learning in real time that hockey robot Shane Hollander is actually hilarious.
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Fight number 4: December 2012
Shane knew exactly what his team had planned for this game. Last time they played Boston, Shane had been laid out. He was fine now, but his inability to move his wrist properly took him off the ice for a full game. He had kind of hoped that Theriault would put their 3rd line up for this, but he cared about ratings. And apparently, so did LeClaire.
Rozanov had skated up with a smug grin. “You going to play their stupid game Hollander? Or you plan on keeping your teeth.”
Shane just glared. He wasn’t going to let Rozanov get him riled up. Not in public at least. “I’m the only one on the ice who has all of them left.”
Rozanov grins at that. “Oh so the boring Canadian decides to be funny.” He taps his stick against Shane’s.
The ref skates up before Shane can respond, silencing both of them. Shane can feel the tension rising both on the ice, and in the stands. They all know it’s coming. Even the Refs look ready to skate away at a moments notice.
The puck drops, and Comeau flies for Marleau. JJ and Connors drop their gloves. Within seconds everyone is throwing punches, and crashing closer to center-ice. Even the goalies are slowly skating towards the fray. In a fit of self preservation (Shane really does not want to lose a tooth), and maybe the desire to not be punched by the guy he very much would like to spend a couple hours with tonight, Shane grabs Rozanov around the waist and yanks him towards the boards.
“Hollander what the fuck?”
“I’m not hitting you.”
“Is a fight on your behalf!” Rozanov is wiggling in his grip even as they slide further away from the scrum.
“I don’t care!” Shane shouts, right as Rozanov gets in his face. It's enough to jostle his helmet off.
The next moment could definitely be described as the weirdest moment of Shane’s hockey career so far. One second, they are nose to nose, probably looking to everyone in the audience like they are about to throw down, the next Rozanov is licking a stripe up the side of Shane’s face. It is so unexpected, and so unbelievably gross, that Shane laughs a little before he shoves Rozanov away as hard as he can.
“What the fuck?”
“Maybe you fight me now?” He was smiling. Not the stupid smug grin, but an actual genuine smile. God Shane wants to punch him.
“No!”
“So we play 1 v 1 when our lines get ejected? Maybe first time we get to play good hockey then.”
Shane feels his fists tighten against his will. But before he can move, the whistles pierce the air.
They are the only two who don’t get benched. Shane’s rage fuels a hat trick, which leads to a very satisfying win (one that probably would have been a lot more fun if he hadn't ended the night alone in a hotel room).
Man In The Crease
@MITCPodcast
RAT KING! RAT KING! RAT KING!
9:18 PM · Dec 2, 2012
488 Retweets 121 Quote Tweets 3.2K Likes
danny @redsyoursocks · Dec 2, 2012 Replying to @MITCPodcast
The mind games this man plays
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Red Blooded Canadian Male @wad3wils0n · Dec 2, 2012 Replying to @MITCPodcast
Somebody should check Hollander for venereal disease.
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Victor St-Simon @stSimonHockey · Dec 2, 2012 Replying to @wad3wils0n
At this point just get him tested for rabies.
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Red Blooded Canadian Male @wad3wils0n · Dec 2, 2012 Replying to @stSimonHockey
VICTOR ST-SIMON??????
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I Am Josh
@HimTortons
Who has the meme about hollander killing rozanov?
9:37 PM · Dec 2, 2012
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Red Blooded Canadian Male @wad3wils0n · Dec 2, 2012 Replying to @HimTortons
Got you King
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Laney
@IlyaMyLove
Does hollander know how many people DREAM of being licked by that man???
9:41 PM · Dec 2, 2012
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Ilya Rozanov
@rozanov81
Hollander didn’t want to fight me because he is too afraid to lose his teeth :(
11:35 PM · Dec 2, 2012
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Svetlana Vetrova @sveta · Dec 2, 2012 Replying to @rozanov81
Maybe you should be *more* afraid to lose *your* teeth
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Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81 · Dec 2, 2012 Replying to @sveta
:(
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Carter Vaughn
@vaughnieNYC
Still better than the time Rutuu bit me!
11:57 PM · Dec 2, 2012
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Brad Marchand
@bMarchand63
HEY THAT'S MY MOVE!
1:03 AM · Dec 3, 2012
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Red Blooded Canadian Male
@wad3wils0n
NOT THE GOALIES SQUARING OFF
1:39 AM · Dec 3, 2012
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Julia has season tickets
@MichaelRomance
Im starting a rumor #hollanov
2:30 AM · Dec 3, 2012
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Lola Loves Shane @shanesFreckles · Dec 3, 2012 Replying to @MichaelRomance
You know what… I see it
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Grayson @BrewSki · Dec 3, 2012 Replying to @MichaelRomance
Jules, your mind is a fascinating place
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Hollander? I Barely Know Her @puckitup · Dec 3, 2012 Replying to @MichaelRomance
Let me know when the Ao3 link is live
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Grayson
@BrewSki
Glad Shane decided not to fight, can you imagine a Boston Montreal game without the only 2 good players.
11:20 AM · Dec 3, 2012
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Luke Daniels @FiddleOfGold · Dec 3, 2012 Replying to @BrewSki
The goalies would have either had the most boring game of their lives or they would have been screaming, there is no in between.
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Dunkin Deez Nuts
@sh1ping0ff2B0ston
They should have let them play a 1 on 1 while everyone else served their penalties, it would have been funny
11:28 AM · Dec 3, 2012
41 Retweets 22 Quote Tweets 491 Likes
Lip Reader Girl @ireadlips · Dec 3, 2012 Replying to @sh1ping0ff2B0ston
Seems like Ilya agrees with you on that one.
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wes @Pige0nMan · Dec 3, 2012 Replying to @sh1ping0ff2B0ston
Not ESPN’s official account retweeting this
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ESPN
@ESPN
At 4 seconds in, this is the third fastest fight in MLH history, first is still held by the Admirals against New Jersey at Madison Square Garden 2 years ago.
12:00 PM · Dec 3, 2012
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Carter Vaughn @vaughnieNYC · Dec 3, 2012 Replying to @ESPN
That fight was still better than the time Rutuu Bit me!
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Scott Hunter @captScottHunter · Dec 3, 2012 Replying to @vaughnieNYC
You had 2 black eyes and a broken nose
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Carter Vaughn @vaughnieNYC · Dec 3, 2012 Replying to @captScottHunter
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Fight number 5: March 2014
The fight was stupid, and boring, and stupid old Scott Hunter was holding Ilya back. Ilya stared blankly as St-Simon took a hit to the jaw. The other paired off players seemed to be watching in mild interest, but Ilya’s distracted, still thinking about Svetlana’s observations at the Olympics. Did Boston really have a shot at a cup this year? Could he FINALLY hold one over on stupid perfect Shane Hollander?
He’s so caught up he doesn’t catch what Scott Hunter says to him. He catches a joking tone, but not much else. “What?”
“I asked if you were going to lick me too?”
“Don’t worry. Is reserved for hot players only,” Ilya says blankly. It’s probably too much, too bold. Scott Hunter is, admittedly, a good hockey player because he’s perceptive. But it’s far kinder than anything else one of his teammates would have said, and as captain he is at least trying to foster a slightly less bigoted community.
“Fuck you, Rozanov.”
“Line is very long, sorry.”
“I bet the line to club you with a hockey stick is longer,” Scott mumbles under his breath.
Ilya fights to keep up his bored expression. The old man is deciding to be a little funny today. “Shane Hollander is first. Take it up with him.”
The fight breaks up shortly after that. And Ilya is able to drag a win out of Boston. A win that cinches their playoff spot, and dooms New York all in one go.
Man In The Crease
@MITCPodcast
Scott Hunter caught chirping Ilya Rozanov for licking Shane Hollander last month.
9:00 PM · Mar 6, 2014
641 Retweets 122 Quote Tweets 6.7K Likes
Dunkn Deez Nuts @sh1ping0ff2B0ston · Mar 6, 2014 Replying to @MITCPodcast
I have never seen that Russian man smile less
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Julia has season tickets @MichaelRomance · Mar 6, 2014 Replying to @MITCPodcast
They both want out of there! Free them.
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ack med @JetsFanSadly · Mar 6, 2014 Replying to @MITCPodcast
Of course NY loses in their own home to the Rat king, Just End The Season
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Julia has season tickets
@MichaelRomance
He misses hollander they are never beating the best friends allegations
9:20 PM · Mar 6, 2104
43 Retweets 12 Quote Tweets 212 Likes
I am Josh @HimTortons · Mar 6, 2014 Replying to @MichaelRomance
This feels so obvious in retrospect, of course our hockey robot captain is best friends with the only player good enough to rival him
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Daisy (Go Admirals!) @LazyDaisy · Mar 6, 2014 Replying to @MichaelRomance
Yes? They’ve known each other since they were 17, were we seriously buying the rivalry thing? Am I out of the loop?
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Laney
@IlyaMyLove
Seeing him not even crack a smile while he chirps Scott Hunter but he laughed *like that* at Shane's 20$ chirp. I see you Ilya Rozanov.
9:26 PM · Mar 6, 2014
72 Retweets 21 Quote Tweets 352 Likes
Grayson
@BrewSki
Every time I see Rozanov on the ice with somebody who isn’t Shane Hollander, I start to believe the Hollanovs a little bit more.
9:31 PM · Mar 6, 2014
51 Retweets 18 Quote Tweets 128 Likes
Yes That's My Legal Name
@BenDover
If this is the father and the son, does that make hollander the Holy Spirit?
9:42 PM · Mar 6, 2014
81 Retweets 26 Quote Tweets 238 Likes
Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81 · Mar 6, 2014 Replying to @BenDover
Is true because Scott Hunter is old.
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Julia has season tickets
@MichaelRomance
Cliff Marleau just liked a tweet about Hollander and Rozanov being best friends. MARLEAU. FATHER WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
9:42 PM · Mar 6, 2014
23 Retweets 14 Quote Tweets 87 Likes
Banned from yelling practice
@elizziebeth13
They should let Scott Hunter hit him with a zamboni, as a treat!
10:14 PM · Mar 6, 2014
31 Retweets 9 Quote Tweets 124 Likes
Dunkin Deez Nuts @sh1ping0ff2B0ston · Mar 6, 2014 Replying to @elizziebeth13
like when you give a dog chocolate before you put it down?
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Fight Number 6: December 2014
Shane knows that Ilya is the one grabbing him before he even has to look. Every single fight between a Boston player and a Montreal player goes the same way. Shane smiles at the familiar feeling of Ilya’s arm resting on his shoulder. JJ and Connors are fighting yet again, and the only people who don’t seem particularly bored by it are the goalies.
“Rozanov,” Shane greets, feeling the corners of his mouth twitch up ever so slightly, “fancy seeing you here.”
“Is tradition at this point, yes?”
Shane’s smile turns into wince when JJ’s helmet flies across the ice, but that seems to be as dramatic as this is going to get.
“We should start a fight,” Ilya says after another lack-luster punch from JJ.
“What?” Confusion ripples through Shane. He's aware that after the summer their texting has been more playful, but this actually feels like a joke that Shane is supposed to be in on for once.
“We should start our own fight. Would be far more entertaining, and I want a Gordie Howe.”
Shane actually laughs at that. Ilya only has an assist to his name right now. It may have been a magnificent pass but 1/3 is a far cry from a hat trick of any kind. “You would need to score for that Rozanov.”
“Is only second period. I have plenty of time.” Ilya playfully shoves Shane. “This counts.”
Shane holds his ground, but fails to stifle a laugh at Ilya’s baiting nudges. His laugh, seems to set off Ilya too. They stay like that for the rest of the fight, smiling, and gently shoving each other.
Ilya does end up scoring on the next play, tying the game. He finishes out his Gordie Howe while Shane is in the box for goalie interference.
Shane's score after the game is a hell of a lot more memorable though.
ESPN Transcript:
Miller: In a game that seemed scripted to be as entertaining as humanly possible, you’d think the fans would actually talk about the hockey. 6 - 5 is an unprecedented score, with Hollander getting a hat trick, and Marleau getting 2 goals within 1 minute of each other.
Callahan: Or at least you’d think they’d talk about one of the three fights. But no, all eyes are on Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander laughing with each other in the background.
Miller: According to eagle eyed fans, it seems that Rozanov was trying to bait Shane into a fight, saying he wanted a Gordie Howe
[Entire panel laughs.]
Callahan: I think Rozanov is barking up the wrong tree with Hollander.
Wells: Try saying that to Scott Hunter and see how he feels.
Johansson: We talk a lot about the rivalry between Hollander and Rozanov, but it is nice to know that off the ice the two seem friendly. It’s lonely at the top, especially for players that young.
Laney
@IlyaMyLove
Spot the difference.
8:22 PM · Dec 13, 2014
42 Retweets 13 Quote Tweets 209 Likes
Lola Loves Shane @shanesFreckles · Dec 13, 2014 Replying to @IlyaMyLove
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Julia has season tickets @MichaelRomance · Dec 13, 2014 Replying to @IlyaMyLove
Ilya desperate to get into a fight with his best friend, I can’t!
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Laney
@IlyaMyLove
How much money do you think I’d have to pay the MLH to let Hollanov do color commentary on a game together? I have 18 bucks
10:37 PM · Dec 13, 2014
36 Retweets 12 Quote Tweets 818 Likes
Laney @IlyaMyLove · Dec 13, 2014 Replying to @IlyaMyLove
I feel like Hollander would spend the entire time trying his best to call a good game, while Rozanov does everything in his power to keep Hollander’s attention.
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Lola Loves Shane @shanesFreckles · Dec 13, 2014 Replying to @IlyaMyLove
Girl I love your vision, I have 22 bucks to donate to your cause
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Grayson
@BrewSki
OOOOh grrrr big scary Russian MY ASS
8:31 PM · Dec 13, 2014
14 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 188 Likes
Red Blooded Canadian Male @wad3wils0n · Dec 13, 2014 Replying to @BrewSki
is the stoic hockey robot in the room with us?
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Banned From Yelling Practice
@elizziebeth13
I hate how endearing I find these idiots. Boston athletes don’t deserve rights.
10:51 PM · Dec 13, 2014
41 Retweets 11 Quote Tweets 484 Likes
Wes @Pige0nMan · Dec 13, 2014 Replying to @elizziebeth13
You’re gonna have to deal until Scott hunter starts scoring again
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Banned From Yelling Practice @elizziebeth13 · Dec 13, 2014 Replying to @Pige0nMan
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Julia Has Season Tickets
@MichaelRomance
We know they’re having fun, but if they got into a real fight I can guarantee they’d both end it missing teeth.
11:02 PM · Dec 13, 2014
58 Retweets 32 Quote Tweets 751 Likes
Grayson @BrewSki · Dec 13, 2014 Replying to @MichaelRomance
Then at the post game they’d be smiling their asses off probably
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Julia Has Season Tickets @MichaelRomance · Dec 13, 2014 Replying to @BrewSki
you are correct to have said that
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Hollander? I Barely Know Her
@puckitup
I'm starting a rumor
11:09 PM · Dec 13, 2014
69 Retweets 26 Quote Tweets 378 Likes
danny @redsyoursocks · Dec 13, 2014 Replying to @puckitup
can you hollanovs be a little less delusional for like 10 seconds.
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Hollander? I Barely Know Her @puckitup · Dec 13, 2014 Replying to @redsyoursocks
Girl, look at them
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Jude Builds Computers
@judeMelrose
I have brain worms
1:26 PM · Dec 14, 2014
213 Retweets 98 Quote Tweets 1.4K Likes
Laney @IlyaMyLove · Dec 14, 2014 Replying to @judeMelrose
And they're doing the lord's work
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Ilya Rozanov
@rozanov81
What is Ra Ra Rasputin and why does Marly keep calling me that?
11:22 PM · Dec 15, 2014
1.5K Retweets 981 Quote Tweets 18.9K Likes
Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81 · Dec 15, 2014 Replying to @rozanov81
This song is very fun. Thank you internet.
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Fight Number 7: February 2015
Goalies don’t fight. They will drop their gloves as a threatening joke, or shove people in defense, but they don’t just start punching each other. Ilya likes to joke that that is the only reason he isn’t a goalie. In fact, the last goalie fight recorded on Boston’s Ice was when Ilya was 3, and the last one in the league was 2 years ago between New Jersey and New York in an all out scrum.
Tonight the goalies are at center ice brawling, so for the first time all season, Ilya is watching the fight. Everyone on the team is. He’s vaguely aware that Shane is there with an arm slung around his waist, but that’s more background noise than anything else. Until Shane, boring hockey robot Shane, shouts “Go for the knees!”
It pulls Ilya’s attention from the fight for a moment. Then, as if everyone was just waiting for permission, the chirps and yells start echoing from across the ice. Garbled yells of things like “Bite him!”, “Go for the Jaw.”, “Kill his ass!”, and “Fuck him up!” fly directly towards the goalies, egging them on even more. For the first time in a while, a fight that Ilya isn’t a part of is exhilarating. So he shouts along with them, and lets the levity he feels last well after Shane leaves his bed.
Grave Man
@benvoliYO
GOALIE FIGHT! (Feat: My emotional support pixels in the back left)
10:56 PM · Feb 22, 2015
57 Retweets 22 Quote Tweets 485 Likes
Lola Loves Shane @shanesFreckles · Feb 22, 2015 Replying to @BenvolYO
Besties who root for rival teams.
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I am Josh
@HimTortons
I think this is like the third time Ive ever seen Hollander smile
6:16 PM · Feb 22, 2015
17 Retweets 6 Quote Tweets 91 Likes
Zack @nightwingingit · Feb 22, 2015 Replying to @HimTortons
No, I'm pretty sure he and Rozanov have paired off for at least 4 or 5 fights.
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Julia Has Season Tickets
@MichaelRomance
Did… Did hollander chirp somebody? Did baby finally egg on a fight?
6:28 PM · Feb 22, 2015
38 Retweets 9 Quote Tweets 214 Likes
Red Blooded Canadian Male @wad3wils0n · Feb 22, 2015 Replying to @MichaelRomance
I mean he did fight Scott Hunter that one time. I get what you’re saying but that very much is a thing that happened.
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Hayden Pike @realHaydenPike · Feb 22, 2015 Replying to @wad3wils0n
We still don’t know what started that one. I think it was a fluke.
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Wes
@Pige0nMan
Are Ilya and Shane boyfriend coded?
6:28 PM · Feb 22, 2015
38 Retweets 9 Quote Tweets 214 Likes
Jill @swawesome · Feb 22, 2015 Replying to @Pige0nMan
Girl no. Hockey players are all evil don’t let their pretty faces and giant baby eyes distract you.
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Wes @Pige0nMan · Feb 22, 2015 Replying to @swasome
You are so right! Thank you queen!
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I am Josh @HimTortons · Feb 22, 2015 Replying to @Pige0nMan
There is only one kind and good hockey player and his name was Tim Horton.
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Dr. Evan Connors
@EConMan
First goalie fight in two years and all anybody can talk about is Hollander and Rozanov, what has this league become?
10:56 PM · Feb 22, 2015
57 Retweets 22 Quote Tweets 485 Likes
Dunkin Deez Nuts @sh1ping0ff2B0ston · Feb 22, 2015 Replying to @EConMan
That seems par for the course for their entire careers TBH
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Jude Builds Computers @judeMelrose · Feb 22, 2015 Replying to @EConMan
I think that might just be your algorithm buddy. Maybe get off AO3 for a sec
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Fight Number 8: March 2015
Shane just wanted this fight to be over so they could play some actual fucking hockey. Comeau had said something, probably something homophobic, or racist, or gross, and got himself punched. It had to have been bad considering Carter Vaughn was doing the punching. Carter is nice, probably the nicest person that Shane has met in the league. He's always quick with a smile, sportsman like, and genuine. He’d even pulled Shane aside his rookie year to let him know that if the diversity questions (or micro-aggressions passing as “kind” comments) got to be too much, he could always reach out. It takes a lot to get him to fight on his own behalf. So Comeau had to have said somethng bad.
Shane is being guarded by Scott Hunter, who looks just as annoyed with this as Shane feels. They stay silent until the refs finally break the fight up and give their penalty assessments.
“Hollander, call off your fucking dog,” Scott Hunter says, not making eye contact.
“You think I haven’t tried?”
“You’re the captain, kid. Try harder.” Scott Hunter skates away after that.
Shane has no intentions of getting in a fight on the ice. But he might need to get into one on the locker room once he finds out what Comeau actually said.
Red Blooded Canadian Male
@wad3wils0n
My man Hollander is straight up dissociating
7:22 PM · Mar 6, 2015
68 Retweets 35 Quote Tweets 496 Likes
Hayden Pike @realHaydenPike · Mar 6, 2015 Replying to @wad3wils0n
I think he's plotting Comeau's murder right there.
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Sorren Miitka @MittyBaby · Mar 6, 2015 Replying to @realHaydenPike
Who hasn't at some point?
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Sammy
@FilmedInToronto
You think he sees the same ghosts as Quinn Hughs, or does he have different ones?
7:22 PM · Mar 6, 2015
12 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 56 Likes
Bruh. @canucklehead · Mar 6, 2015 Replying to @FilmedInToronto
You can’t say shit like that. Some teenage girl is gonna write a 10K Quinn Hughs’ Ghosts X Shane Hollander’s Ghosts coffee shop AU
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Sammy @FilmedInToronto · Mar 6, 2015 Replying to @canucklehead
Yeah and it will be spectacular WTF
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Daisy (Go Admirals!)
@LazyDaisy
I’ve never seen two people who want to be in a room together less… Like Shane, honey, did he try to flirt with your mom or something?
9:47 PM · Mar 6, 2015
45 Retweets 6 Quote Tweets 183 Likes
Grayson @BrewSki · Mar 6, 2015 Replying to @LazyDaisy
Somebody had to
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Red Blooded Canadian Male @wad3wils0n · Mar 6, 2015 Replying to @LazyDaisy
I’ve seen Mama Hollander, Shane’s probably used to it.
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Dunkin Deez Nuts @sh1ping0ff2B0ston · Mar 6, 2015 Replying to @wad3wils0n
Yo @hollander24 Is your mom happily married, or just married?
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I am Josh @HimTortons · Mar 6, 2015 Replying to @sh1ping0ff2B0ston
David Hollander seems like a kind man. Don’t do this to him.
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Banned From Yelling Practice
@elizziebeth13
Scott Hunter should also be allowed to hit him with a Zamboni
8:48 PM · Mar 6, 2015
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Banned From Yelling Practice @elizziebeth13 · Mar 6, 2015 Replying to @elizziebeth13
I’m talking about Comeau in this case, but honestly? Hollander? You’re on thin fucking ice.
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Carter Vaughn @vaughnieNYC · Mar 6, 2015 Replying to @elizziebeth13
That’s how hockey works generally.
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Banned From Yelling Practice @elizziebeth13 · Mar 6, 2015 Replying to @vaughnieNYC
Not Carter vaughn being funnier than me on my own posts. I need to lie down.
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Lola Loves Shane
@shanesFreckles
He misses his bestie that’s so cute.
9:47 PM · Mar 6, 2015
36 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 65 Likes
Laney @IlyaMyLove · Mar 6, 2015 Replying to @shanesFreckles
Please, that is the face of a man who is dealing with Ilya Rozanov astral-projecting to bother him.
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Fight number 9: January 2016
Ilya and Shane are behind the net when an all out brawl breaks out. It’s a tangle of limbs and uniforms inching closer and closer to the net, making Miitka look like a bug trapped under a cup. They're also inching closer to Ilya, who has no intentions of injuring himself when he has a whole 8 hours to spend with Shane later tonight.
In his attempt to escape the fray, he ends up skating directly towards Shane, who catches him with open arms. A small part of his brain begins screaming that this is the first time they’ve hugged. 6 years of sleeping together and their first hug is an over dramatic slam to get out of a fight.
Shane hits the boards with a soft 'oof' but is able to keep them both upright. “Jesus Christ, this is ridiculous.”
Ilya smiles. Shane could be talking about pretty much anything at the moment, and he would be right. They watch the rest of the fight like that, holding on to each other so they don’t get dragged into the mass of players.
They’re the only two people on the ice who don’t end up getting ejected from the game. And the refs still won’t let them play a one on one!
Laney
@IlyaMyLove
It’s like a hockey princess movie LOL
6:23 PM · Jan 11, 2016
51 Retweets 28 Quote Tweets 731 Likes
Lola Loves Shane @shanesFreckles · Jan 11, 2016 Replying to @IlyaMyLove
Shane Hollander Disney prince would actually go insane
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Laney @IlyaMyLove · Jan 11, 2016 Replying to @shanesFreckles
If Shane gets to be a prince, I need Ilya in a Bond movie
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Lola Loves Shane @shanesFreckles · Jan 11, 2016 Replying to @IlyaMyLove
Your mind is brilliant.
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Julia Has Season Tickets @MichaelRomance · Jan 11, 2016 Replying to @IlyaMyLove
I always thought Shane Looked like a young Keanu Reeves, put him in John Wick.
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Svetlana Vetrova
@sveta
Finally Shane’s desire to keep all of his teeth is rubbing off on you.
7:16 PM · Jan 11, 2016
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Svetlana Vetrova @sveta · Jan 11, 2016 Replying to @sveta
I saw it the second I pressed post. Do NOT say anything Ilya.
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Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81 · Jan 11, 2016 Replying to @sveta
:(
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Dunkin Deez Nuts
@sh1ping0ff2B0ston
One day they will just let them play a 1 v 1 and it will be awesome.
7:46 PM · Jan 11, 2016
92 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 531 Likes
Julia Has Season Tickets
@MichaelRomance
He wanted Huggies
8:02 PM · Jan 11, 2016
19 Retweets 11 Quote Tweets 167 Likes
Grayson
@BrewSki
Rozanov seeing the fight get closer
8:19 PM · Jan 11, 2016
27 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 94 Likes
Red Blooded Canadian Male
@wad3wils0n
His survival instinct is unparalleled
6:31 PM · Jan 11, 2016
102 Retweets 56 Quote Tweets 894 Likes
Fight Number 10: December 2016
Shane doesn't fucking understand. He knows he and Ilya aren't doing this any more. He knows that he's happy spending time with Rose. He knows that this is a stupid fucking fight between two rookies in the middle of a boring and bad game with zero points on the board.
So, why is he so heartbroken that Ilya is paired up with Hayden, of all people, when they're standing only 10 feet apart? Why does seeing Ilya's blank stare make Shane want to scream?
Why does it hurt this much to be doing the correct thing?
Julia Has Season Tickets
@MichaelRomance
What? Hayden and Marleau? I've seen Rozanov cross the ice to tie up Hollander and they're just 2 feet away staring at each other?
8:19 PM · Dec 2, 2016
18 Retweets 7 Quote Tweets 65 Likes
Death Noting
@lightImAGay
Did they break up?
8:19 PM · Dec 2, 2016
11 Retweets 17 Quote Tweets 67 Likes
Dunkin Deez Nuts
@sh1ping0ff2B0ston
Where the hell were they this game?
8:22 PM · Dec 2, 2016
35 Retweets 11 Quote Tweets 104 Likes
I am Josh @HimTortons · Dec 2, 2016 Replying to @sh1ping0ff2B0ston
Probably avoiding each other more than playing.
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Lola Loves Shane
@shanesFreckles
Why does ilya rozanov look like he needs a hug?
8:22 PM · Dec 2, 2016
22 Retweets 9 Quote Tweets 143 Likes
Laney @IlyaMyLove · Dec 2, 2016 Replying to @shanesFreckles
So does shane
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Lola Loves Shane @shanesFreckles · Dec 2, 2016 Replying to @IlyaMyLove
They're right there. They have free will, they can hug each other!
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Hollander? I Barely Know Her
@puckitup
Shane and Ilya during that fight:
10:10 PM · Dec 2, 2016
83 Retweets 12 Quote Tweets 281 Likes
Rose Landry
@RoseLandry
Good Game Shane!
10:45 PM · Dec 2, 2016
691 Retweets 847 Quote Tweets 28.1K Likes
Grayson @BrewSki · Dec 2, 2016 Replying to @RoseLandry
Was It Though???????
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Red Blooded Canadian Male @wad3wils0n · Dec 2, 2016 Replying to @RoseLandry
Miss Landry, all of your brothers play hockey, you know damn well this was a bad game.
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Fight Number 11: January 2017
The All Star game is supposed to be for fun. The older guys had told Ilya not to fight his first year, and he listened. He's been to every All Star since his rookie season, and he hasn't seen a fight break out.
But right now, 7 All Star games later, the Tavenir brothers are fighting. They're clearly having the time of their lives punching each other, seeing as both of them have bloody smiles on their faces. This is the first season in their careers where they are playing against each other, and they've been taking full advantage of that fact. The All Star Game is apparently no different.
Players start to pair off, and Ilya doesn't even think as he skates towards Shane and wraps his arms around him.
Shane gives Ilya the same bashful look that he did when Ilya kissed his helmet earlier. It makes him want to say his room number right then and there. Now that he knows what that word 'compatible' means for sure, he knows he has a shot.
Somebody from further down the ice, their goalie from New York, shouts at them, "Hey assholes! You're supposed to tie up people from the OTHER team."
Shane breaks out into a blinding grin. Fuck he's beautiful.
"Sorry Hank!" Shane shouts back, not bothering to push away from Ilya, "Force of habit!"
Hank laughs in response, but lets them be. Part of Ilya knows that what they are doing is bad etiquette, but he always guards Shane. He's Ilya's man, not anyone else's.
Ilya looks up from Shane's freckles to see two players from the West team leaning against the bords. Ilya is pretty sure that they played on the same line in the juniors, and are 'rivals' now. They seem to be fine guarding each other.
Smith, the player from LA, looks back at Ilya and laughs. "Don't worry dude, nobody's gonna take him from you."
The sarcastic comment about Rose Landry is on the tip of his tongue. But Shane laughs again, and that's all Ilya can even think about.
Landry Stan First Person Second
@AllieOoop
God they're adorable.
9:38 PM · Jan 18, 2017
48 Retweets 12 Quote Tweets 211 Likes
Reluctant Admirals Fan Now
@meeekaaaa
If I were Ottawa, I'd kill all of my cap space to get both of them playing on the same team. With a half way decent goalie they would be unstoppable.
9:38 PM · Jan 18, 2017
81 Retweets 33 Quote Tweets 572 Likes
Rose Landry
@RoseLandry
I knew they'd forget they were on the same team, I just figured it would be in a different context.
10:10 PM · Jan 18, 2017
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Dunkin Deez Nuts
@sh1ping0ff2B0ston
Fuck they play well together.
10:04 PM · Jan 18, 2017
98 Retweets 62 Quote Tweets 1.3K Likes
Cliff Marleau @AltCapMarley · Jan 18, 2017 Replying to @sh1ping0ff2B0ston
It's because they're obsessed with each other.
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Dunkin Deez Nuts @sh1ping0ff2B0ston · Jan 18, 2017 Replying to @AltCapMarley
Marleau WTF?????
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Grayson
@BrewSki
The East's first line was Hollander, Rozanov, Vaughn, Karlsson, and Leddy, with Lundqvist in the goal? The West team had no chance.
10:22 PM · Jan 18, 2017
45 Retweets 29 Quote Tweets 312 Likes
Red Blooded Canadian Male @wad3wils0n · Jan 18, 2017 Replying to @BrewSki
Hunter, Crosby and Ovechkin on the *second* line is insane.
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Julia Has Season Tickets @MichaelRomance · Jan 18, 2017 Replying to @AltCapMarley
Did you see the people Boston and New York *didn't* send? I'm so sorry west, they did you dirty.
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Lola Loves Shane
@shanesFreckles
I missed them pairing off for fights
10:22 PM · Jan 18, 2017
57 Retweets 27 Quote Tweets 352 Likes
Laney @IlyaMyLove · Jan 18, 2017 Replying to @shanesFreckles
I think that might be the cellie after Hollander scored?
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Lola Loves Shane @shanesFreckles · Jan 18, 2017 Replying to @IlyaMyLove
Girl, I just rewatched both, and I genuinely couldn't tell you where this cap is from. They really said #hollanov twice today
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Julia Has Season Tickets
@MichaelRomance
They literally tied up other players for one (1) game and we're all acting like wives of WW2 soldiers.
10:48 PM · Jan 18, 2017
73 Retweets 18 Quote Tweets 426 Likes
Red Blooded Canadian Male
@wad3wils0n
Smith To Rozanov
10:48 PM · Jan 18, 2017
73 Retweets 18 Quote Tweets 426 Likes
Daisy (Go East!) @LazyDaisy · Jan 18, 2017 Replying to @wad3wils0n
That's Rozanov's emotional support rival thank you very much.
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Molly
@LAKingMe
Who picked this year's All Star theme? Is somebody on the Kings having an affair with your wife? Is that why you did the west coast so dirty??????
9:38 PM · Jan 18, 2017
81 Retweets 33 Quote Tweets 572 Likes
Jill
@swawesom
Ilya's inability to not hug shane during fights leading to 2 long standing rivalry tie ups at the all star game is objectively hilarious.
11:02 PM · Jan 18, 2017
12 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 48 Likes
Banned From Yelling Practice
@elizziebeth13
Unfortunately I've grown fond of these idiots... It's a shame Scott Hunter is going to hit them with a zamboni when we get back to regular playing.
11:11 PM · Jan 18, 2017
42 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 90 Likes
Fight number 12: February 2017
JJ and Connors are fighting yet again, and Shane is about 10 seconds away from asking if it’s over a girl. There has to be something to this. It’s not like their fake rivalry is a major selling point for the sport or anything. Ilya skates up to him from half way across the rink with a smile, casually pinning him against the boards. It feels more like the cellies from the All-Star game than guarding a man for a fight. The whole thing makes Shane kind of giddy.
“You think they are trying to be better rivals than us?” Ilya asks.
“I think it might be over a girl.”
“Boring answer. Just like this fight.” Ilya takes off his glove, making Shane think that he is going to try to get his Gordie Howe again. Instead Ilya shakes his fist lightly. “Scissors, paper, rock.”
Shane laughs, a genuine belly laugh, because Ilya is wonderful and Shane can actually finally admit that to himself. “Ok.”
Ilya wins round one and two, but Shane soon figures out that Ilya has some semblance pattern. Soon they are 11-6 Shane, and other players are taking notice. Marleau is laughing at them. A Boston rookie has convinced Hayden to play sticks with him, and the goalies seem to be playing I-Spy across the ice. The whole thing is so childish, and so much fun. Shane likes having fun with Ilya.
The fight gets broken up when Ilya wins his 10th game. “Now I go score the same number of goals.”
“You’re such an asshole.”
“Yes, is why you like me.”
Shane can’t help the smile on his face as Ilya skates away. Hayden simply rolls his eyes at Shane's goofy expression.
“The fight was really that boring to you?” Hayden asks, as if he had been paying any attention at all. He starts pulling Shane back to their face-off positions.
“Aren’t they always?”
Hayden looks over to JJ, who is still fighting with Connors through the walls of the penalty box. “It has to be over a girl right?”
“Definitely,” Shane agrees, staring past Hayden at the Boston bench. He has a flash thought about the end of the season. Maybe Ilya would like to stay state side for a little bit before going home to Russia.
Yuna Hollander
@mamaHollander
This might be my favorite photo of Shane in a game.
7:38 PM · Feb 13, 2017
142 Retweets 83 Quote Tweets 950 Likes
Hayden Pike @realHaydenPike · Feb 13, 2017 Replying to @mamaHollander
That’s definitely a framer.
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Addie @addieDraws · Feb 13, 2017 Replying to @mamaHollander
Mama Hollander, you need to tell us if they are friends!
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Jude Builds Computers @JudeMelrose · Feb 13, 2017 Replying to @addieDraws
If you can come up with an alternative I’d love to hear it.
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Addie @addieDraws · Feb 13, 2017 Replying to @JudeMelrose
SHHHHH Don’t summon the hollanovs.
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Julia Has Season Tickets
@MichaelRomance
He’s not allowed to be that adorable and that good at hockey, somebody make him calm down.
7:52 PM · Feb 13, 2017
48 Retweets 34 Quote Tweets 260 Likes
Grayson @BrewSki · Feb 13, 2017 Replying to @MichaelRomance
which one are you talking about this time?
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Julia Has Season Tickets @MichaelRomance · Feb 13, 2017 Replying to @BrewSki
you know what? dealers choice TBH
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Laney
@IlyaMyLove
They’re just boys together
8:27 PM · Feb 13, 2017
8 Retweets 5 Quote Tweets 47 Likes
Lola Loves Shane
@shanesFreckles
Ilya approaching Shane to play games the way my dog runs up to the neighbor’s five year old. That’s best-friendism right there.
8:45 PM · Feb 13, 2017
12 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 59 Likes
Dunkin Deez Nuts
@sh1ping0ff2B0ston
Not the goalies who punched each other last year playing fucking I Spy
7:52 PM · Feb 13, 2017
18 Retweets 28 Quote Tweets 190 Likes
I am Josh @HimTortons · Feb 13, 2017 Replying to @sh1ping0ff2B0ston
Pike and Knight playing Sticks
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Dunkin Deez Nuts @sh1ping0ff2B0ston · Feb 13, 2017 Replying to @HimTortons
Marleau and Miller making bets on all these stupid playground games. This is peak hockey right here.
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Jensen
@notTheSupernaturalGuy
My kingdom to know what the final rock paper scissors score was.
7:52 PM · Feb 13, 2017
91 Retweets 45 Quote Tweets 2.9K Likes
Cliff Marleau @AltCapMarley · Feb 13, 2017 Replying to @notTheSupernaturalGuy
It was 13-10 Hollander. Roz was more butt hurt about it than Hollander scoring more goals than him.
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Cliff Marleau @AltCapMarley · Feb 13, 2017 Replying to @AltCapMarley
I’m not kidding. He will not let it go. It is becoming all of our problem.
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Rose Landry
@RoseLandry
Shane this is too adorable! WTF!
8:19 PM · Feb 13, 2017
891 Retweets 945 Quote Tweets 12.9K Likes
Hollander? I Barely Know Her @puckitup · Feb 13, 2017 Replying to @Rose Landry
The greed of men, first he bags Rose Landry then Ilya Rozanov? That one admirals fan is right. Scott Hunter should get to hit him with a Zamboni
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Fight number 13: April 2017
Ilya is aware that Pike started the fight by charging at Marleau. The brawl breaking out is happening more in his periphery. All he cares about right now is getting to Shane, even if it means mowing over a ref or paramedic to do it.
He’s seen Shane get hit before. Fuck, he had been on the ice when Shane took a dive and sprained his wrist a couple of years ago. But, all of those times Shane got up. Right now Shane is lying on the ice and he’s not fucking moving. The brawling is happening around Ilya, and all he can do is try to guard his man.
He makes it to Shane before the paramedics get there, and Shane still isn’t fucking moving. Ilya wants to scream. Instead he starts begging. “Shane. Shane get up.”
A minute passes, and Shane still doesn’t move. “Shane are you ok! Shane!”
The paramedics come out, and Ilya has the insane thought that he needs to block them.
“Rozanov out of the way.”
“Is he ok?” Ilya shouts, not moving from his spot next to Shane.
The paramedic actually pushes him, forcing him to skate back. “Back to your bench Rozanov!”
“Just tell me if he’s fucking OK! Please. PLEASE! Shane!”
Eventually he's close enough to the bench for somebody to reach out and pull him in by the back of the Jersey. Ilya really doesn’t care who.
“Roz, are you ok?” LeClaire asks, putting a hand on Ilya’s shoulder. It sounds distracted. Probably because all eyes are still on Shane Hollander being pulled off of the ice on the fucking back board.
“They won’t tell me anything,” Ilya whispers. It's too emotional, too much. LeClaire can probably tell that Ilya's heart is smashed on the ice right where Shane got hit.
LeClaire sighs. “I’m going to make a phone call.”
Ilya figures out, later, after he’s seen the love of his life in a hospital bed laughing and asking about the cottage, that LeClaire is the reason he’s an approved visitor. He’ll make sure to thank him later, when the earth starts spinning at a normal speed again.
Man In The Crease
@ MITCPodcast
Holy shit
6:02 PM · April 9, 2017
581 Retweets 281 Quote Tweets 5.9K Likes
I am Josh @HimTortons · April 9, 2017 Replying to @ MITCPodcast
No news from the metros yet
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Red Blooded Canadian Male
@wad3wils0n
Ok i think the Hollanovs might have convinced me.
6:09 PM · April 9, 2017
52 Retweets 21 Quote Tweets 213 Likes
Grayson
@BrewSki
My sister and I are at the game. You could hear Rozanov yelling from the stands.
6:23 PM · April 9, 2017
36 Retweets 47 Quote Tweets 358 Likes
Julia Has Season Tickets @MichaelRomance · April 9, 2017 Replying to @BrewSki
The only word we could make out was "Shane".
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Hollander? I Barely Know Her
@puckitup
He was screaming and begging to know if Shane was ok. Did anybody tell him???
6:23 PM · April 9, 2017
22 Retweets 14 Quote Tweets 89 Likes
Hollander? I Barely Know Her @puckitup · April 9, 2017 Replying to @puckitup
I am legit more invested in Rozanov getting an update than us
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I am Josh @HimTortons · April 9, 2017 Replying to @puckitup
At this point I’m more invested in Rozanov getting an update than the fucking Metros
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Lola Loves Shane
@shanesFreckles
He was guarding his man.
11:20 PM · April 9, 2017
87 Retweets 54 Quote Tweets 379 Likes
Laney @IlyaMyLove · April 9, 2017 Replying to @shanesFreckles
Shut up why is that the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard anybody say?
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Dunkin Deez Nuts
@sh1ping0ff2B0ston
I don’t think I’ve ever seen somebody look so lost on the ice. This is nuts
6:15 PM · April 9, 2017
28 Retweets 32 Quote Tweets 158 Likes
Yuna Hollander
@mamaHollander
Update on Shane. He has suffered a broken collarbone and a concussion, and will be out for the rest of the season, but will make a full recovery. We would like to thank you for privacy at this time.
11:35 AM · April 10, 2017
782 Retweets 591 Quote Tweets 9.4K Likes
Yuna Hollander @mamaHollander · April 10, 2017 Replying to @mamaHollander
We would also like to thank Ilya Rozanov for being a sportsman like captain and a very good friend. Shane was very happy that you came to visit.
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Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81 · April 10, 2017 Replying to @mamaHollander
Of course! I had to make sure that he didn't try to get into the fight.
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Afterword
End Notes
Thanks everyone for reading! This was my first attempt at coding for a fic, and it is so different than the type of programming I do in my day to day life. It was a fun, and also time consuming. Coming up with these fake people (some of which are characters from other things I've been writing) has been such a joy, and I love them all so very much. I also had much fun including myself and some of my friends as little side characters.
Yes I did make little back stories for some of my twitter characters:
- Grayson and Julia are brother and sister.
- Julia got into hockey to hang out with Grayson when MCR broke up. Julia has now seen MCR 7 times since the reunion and has tickets for 3 shows this summer, she is now a well adjusted adult with a very high paying full time job.
- Grayson and Red Blooded Canadian Male, both end up moving to NY for work. They meet randomly and fall in love. Their twitter stuff is revealed on their 3rd date, which is a NY/Ottawa hockey game. Julia reads all of their twitter interactions as her wedding speech.
- Dunkin Deez Nuts will eventually punch somebody in the face for daring to suggest that Ilya and Shane throw games for each other. His bloody knuckles will end up being his profile pic, Ilya sends him a signed jersey. It is his prized possession.
- Lola and Laney meet in real life and end up becoming best friends.
- Josh is in fact a Tim Hortons Regional Manager. One time he served Hayden Pike a coffee, it is still his favorite story to tell.
Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!