Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Hayden Pike & Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike & Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Jackie Pike, Yuna Hollander, Scott Hunter (Game Changers), Rose Landry

Additional Tags:

Social Media, Texting Fic, Epistolary, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, News Media, Chaos Puppy Ilya Rozanov, Not Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Secret Relationship, Crack, Hayden Pike & Ilya Rozanov Friendship, Unreliable Narrator, Speculation, Rumors

Language:

English

Series:

Part 4 of Haydenov Phone Swap

Collections:

🏒Heated on Ice🏒, 🏒 Hockey Boys 🥅, Stoopid Gay Hockey Players, Nohn's Favorites, ˙⟡.Hollanov˙⟡., *Heated rivalry melts my heart*, Fics LunaK does not want to lose track of, All the faves

Stats:

Published: 2026-01-23 Completed: 2026-01-26 Words: 17,606 Chapters: 3/3

Please Be Normal About This

Summary

After the events of I Like Jane For You, the public reacts to Rozanov and Pike as secret friends.

Conveyed through text threads, social media, and news articles.

Notes

This is almost exclusively for people who have read the first (I Like Jane For You). Ilya’s POV (Do Not Text Jane) not necessary. I guess you can refuse to read the first one if you want, but yikes. To catch you up, Pike and Rozanov are secretly best friends in this world. It's a long story. Maybe just go back and read that one?

I’m asking for the slight favor that we collectively forget everything we know about how technology works. Just… trust me here don’t look too closely. We’re going to run with it because ya boo loves chaos.

Set post-cottage, around late fall 2017-2018 season.

Phone stuff is all set from Shane's POV.

This thing is littered with stupidity. Don't look too closely.

Chapter 1: #SextingWithShane

lesbians and their cuck group chat

Hayden: I’ll say it again here so I have backup
Hayden: last chance before I involve my spouse
Hayden: you have to stop commenting on my Instagram

Shane: ???
Shane: what???

Lily: whattt
Lily: I am funny and this page is so boring without me

Shane: omg
Shane: I hate where this is going

Lily: you love me

Shane: I do

Lily: 🥰

Hayden: focus???
Hayden: I’ve deleted every single one because they are completely unacceptable
Hayden: even if it weren't so stupid risky 
Hayden: some of them are just weird and gross.
Hayden: others just imply we know each other too well

Lily: give me one example. 

Hayden: fucking gladly. Let’s all get ready to delete a bunch of these messages. 
Hayden: you can’t comment on a picture of pregnant Jackie
Hayden: “Jackie is my fertility goddess.”

Lily: I am a spiritual person. 🙏

Hayden: you can’t comment on a picture of Shane at practice 
Hayden: “just sent you money for this lmk if you want more.”

Shane: NO!

Lily: I think you would have to send more to get more money 
Lily: if that is the question

Hayden: you can't comment on a selfie of me and Shane with hearts

Shane: no!
Shane: you didn’t!!!

Hayden: if I post a picture of your Boston shirt in the trash you can’t say “I thought I lost that shirt.”

Lily: that was targeted ragebait. 

Shane: who taught you "ragebait"

Hayden: on my post supporting Scott Hunter you wrote “you owe me 10 bucks” 
Hayden: I never even put money on that

Shane: nvm I just googled "Ilya Rozanov + ragebait" and you are literally an example on the Wikipedia page
Shane: it's actually you antagonizing Scott Hunter

Hayden: this is the person you’ve chosen to love

Shane: it is

Lily: i love you too
Lily: anything else Mr. Social Media Tsar???

Hayden: yes.
Hayden: you can’t comment “what are you trying to do to me” when I post a picture of Shane

Lily: he was holding my baby!!!
Lily: that was bait too
Lily: my ovaries!! 

Shane: fucking christ Ilya 

Lily: sorry

Shane: are you??

Hayden: thats the other thing
Hayden: you can’t claim ownership of Amber in public
Hayden: it’s very funny for us and we’re all trying to find it cute and not creepy but not out loud ok?

Lily: this is too many rules

Hayden: and I’m only remembering the ones I have screenshots for but dude come on
Hayden: it would be one thing if they were just normal comments
Hayden: but you are like allergic to just being normal

Shane: just block him

Lily: noooo

Shane: everyone delete all of this

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
has anyone noticed Ilya Rozanov commenting on Hayden Pike’s insta? for like 2 seconds then the comments get deleted?

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
I noticed it last time and forgot to screenshot this one but they’re always really weird.

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
thoughts?

↪ Shane’s Concussion @Metrosboy2
yes! I thought I was going crazy… did he comment “mine” on Pike’s new baby?

↪↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
what the fuck?

↪↪↪ Shane’s Concussion @Metrosboy2
yeah and then the comment was just gone


↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
I didn’t even know they knew each other?

↪↪ Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
they don’t! As far as I can tell, they were papped together once at a bar with a big group from both teams


↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
Rozanov has always been weird on social media. Remember when he took 3 days off with no explanation?

↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
The man posts 52,000 times a day and then just ghosted us 😭 I missed him sm

↪↪ Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
ew no 1. his posts are the worst girl what are you doing 

↪↪ Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
2. there was an explanation remember? He just said “sorry made a friend” like he had just spent 3 days fucking nonstop

↪↪↪ Shane’s Concussion @Metrosboy2
I forgot about #SMAF lol I hate him but even I thought that was funny

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites 
@HollaAtMeHollander Ok yes! And weirdly enough I have the screenshot for one of them I sent my friend bc it was so weird. 

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
On Pike’s post about the annual hotdog eating contest, he wrote “tell her not to fill up she has another hotdog eating contest this summer”

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
but there were no women in any of the pictures! It was all players, not any WAGs. The dog even is a male, I think it’s JJ’s puppy, Bingo.

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
so he has to be talking about someone off-camera, like maybe he knows one of the WAGs? Well enough to have plans over the summer?

↪ ↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
ok let’s just pretend this isn’t innuendo, that would be an affair.

↪ ↪ ↪ Shane’s Concussion @Metrosboy2
fr this is rozanov we’re talking about

anonymous @hackeyhocker
@HollaAtMeHollander @MontrealityBites well ok let’s find out about this. Should be easy enough.

Hockey Breaking News Source @hockeybns
A text message thread between Ilya Rozanov and Hayden Pike has been leaked. No official statement from either party.

lesbians and their cuck group chat

Shane: fuck
Shane: fucking AGAIN guys???
Shane: why are neither of you answering me
Shane: fuck!!

Shane has changed the name of the group chat
A lesbian and two colossal morons group chat

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
mute me if you don't want my #PikieLeaks #LeakedTexts #HaydenovTexts live-tweeting

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
ABSOLUTELY WILD that a) the first text they ever sent is about Jackie Pike’s nudies and b) of course Pike says “#nudies”

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
I’m living for this prank war but wtf is going on I’m so confused who is who

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
omg they had each others phones

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
ohhhh i feel dumb

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
but why tho


Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
#WhoIsJane Rozanov has a steady??

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
not Shane Hollander catching strays lol

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
Wtf else would they have to talk about, I seriously don't know what else they could be doing for the other 30pgs of this PDF


Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
ok seriously #WhoIsJane she knows Scott Hunter?

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
can you imagine this meet-up

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
wait how does Pike know Jane

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
was Jane at the meetup?

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
Jackie Pike drama??… in what way do her genitals have any impact on Roz's sex life?? 👀

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
HEY IM SORRY MY WIFE SEXTED YOU????


Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
wowwww they’re really deleting messages thats the third time I’ve seen “delete that”

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
hang on is rozy having sex with dudes?

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
is rozy having sex with PIKE????

Rose: quick question did you hook up with Ilya Rozanov?

Shane: like...
Shane: today?
Shane: or?

Rose: or!!! Shane.
Rose: I obviously already know if I'm asking

Shane: ugh ok yeah 
Shane: like a lot
Shane: we are sort of in a relationship
Shane: why? you’re reading the texts?

Rose: yes!!!!
Rose: I thought it was really messed up that hayden was friends with this guy who’s been an asshole to you but then this timeline starts to make sense
Rose: a relationship??

Shane: yeah I think he's going to have to make a statement about himself today
Shane: wait are you asking just because they talk about guys in there?
Shane: or did you find me specifically?
Shane: I've gone through the doc a million times I don't think it's clear enough to ID me
Shane: they deleted a lot
Shane: not as much as I told them to but ok

Rose: Shane I found ME specifically
Rose: I’m the something stupid, from the tabloid, I'm someone you can fuck in public, I told you that you were gay
Rose: they talk about us

Shane: oh fuck you’re right
Shane: you’re in there I definitely should have warned you
Shane: I'm so sorry
Shane: and I'm sorry I know it looks bad but really we weren't a thing then and nothing happened while I was with you but I'm still sorry

Rose: no it’s fine 
Rose: I'm not mad
Rose: two more questions 
Rose: he’s really hot!!!!!?

Shane: not a question
Shane: but yes he really is

Rose: you do not halfass anything huh
Rose: two
Rose: you have a statement ready for yourself, right?
Rose: between the cottage, me, all-star weekend, the game schedules...
Rose: you are wrong. there are 1500 ways you're in here.

Shane: it’s that obvious?

Rose: baby
Rose: you are hanging by a feminine pronoun rn
Rose: collective stupidity is the only thing covering your ass

Social Media Reacts to the Rozanov/Pike Leaked Texts
Tracy Menudo
Hockey Today 
Senior Off-The-Ice Correspondent

[image: a photo of Ilya Rozanov texting during MLH awards Summer 2017]

[image: a grainy candid photo of a group of men at a bar surrounding several high-top tables. To one side, highlighted with a superimposed circle, stands Ilya Rozanov and Hayden Pike, both holding beers and grinning widely.]

In what’s being called MLH’s weirdest scandal, a text thread was leaked early this morning between Boston’s Ilya Rozanov and Montreal’s Hayden Pike, two players who ostensibly have no substantiated prior public friendship or connection. The pair has only been photographed in the same group once (see image above, Nov. 2016). 

Internet sleuths have speculated about Rozanov’s presence on Pike’s social media for months, with a pattern of frequent bizarre comments getting deleted almost immediately from Pike’s pages. Cyber crimes law enforcement says the leaked thread is believed to be the work of a hacker investigating that pattern. No other information was skimmed from either phone. The hacker has been caught and the phones are now secure. 

The contents of the messages have the hockey world— and many others— in confusion. #LeakedTexts is trending in 24 countries.

The story is bizarre from the beginning. It appears Pike and Rozanov switched phones during the 2015-2016 season for about three days. The texts give some clues that the two players did not know each other before the switch, and this was not a planned exchange but an accident. Fans are calling this absurd quandary “sitcom material” and a “meetcute.” One twitter user chastises the players, writing “two high-profile MLH stars and not one phone password between them. No wonder they became friends.” 

The timeframe coincides with a rare Rozanov 3-day social media blackout that left fans at the time wondering. When he returned, Rozanov infamously wrote “sorry made a friend” and resumed his characteristically prolific posting (note: Rozanov averages 35.7 posts/comments per day, more than any other MLH player). Rozanov fans began using “sorry made a friend,” or SMAF, to humorously excuse a long absence or to call out sick from work. Many fans speculated it was the beginning of a relationship or even a marriage. One fan on Twitter wrote, “bro just announced he had so much sex he couldn’t log on for three days.” The timing of the start of these messages implies the friend was Hayden Pike. After 3 days, the pair met to retrieve their own cellphones in a parking lot between their two games [location pictured below]. The pair continued a text message conversation and developed an unlikely friendship. #Bromance is trending in 15 countries. 

Fans are speculating about the secretive nature of the relationship. There is a pressure in the text messages that this friendship stay private, and the texts are carefully worded with secret code. There is some negotiation of what they can and cannot say in the thread, mostly with the goal to obscure gendered language, their own identities, and the identities of the people around them. The conversations are frequently interrupted with requests from both players that the other delete a message. As a result, this leaked thread likely contains only a portion of the messages sent between these players from Fall 2015 to Fall 2017. Some are impressed with the pair's foresight (one Instagram comment says, "Insane that their paranoia actually paid off"), while others speculate the caution is fictitious, and the leak was a planned stunt by the players.

Between the coded language and deleted messages, it is hard to gather information from the thread, but internet speculators are still trying. In fact, the texts are frequently compared to a puzzle. "I don't even like hockey but catch me with a red string and a cork board over these texts," writes one twitter user. The mysterious nature of the texts adds to their allure and makes them endlessly debatable. In many ways, these are the prime conditions for a viral sensation.

The surviving and decipherable contents of the texts primarily discuss Ilya Rozanov's sexual and romantic endeavors. One twitter user comments, "Here I thought they'd just talk about hockey but now I know too much about Roz's sex life to ever sleep again." The messages frequently discuss Rozanov's longterm relationship with one woman in particular, Jane. It seems Pike and Jane met the night they returned the phones and began a close personal relationship. Over the course of the two years, Jane became a frequent guest in Pike's house and befriended his wife, Jackie Pike, as well.

But fans are most shocked to see discussion of lovers with male pronouns, with codenames like Panic Attack and Angry Kitten obscuring their true identities. Pike and Rozanov volley between gender pronouns for Rozanov’s lovers, and the aforementioned codenames could be one or more people of debatable gender. A popular fan theory suggests these codenames are a catchall for any of Rozanov’s many lovers. Speculation about the identity of the man or men has ranged from other athletes and sports journalists to actors and musicians, as internet sleuths unearth photographs of Rozanov with various queer celebrities. 

At some points in the texts, it appears even Rozanov and Pike’s relationship is sexual in nature. Rozanov describes his excitement to see Pike with detailed sexual plans. The term rivals-with-benefits is used, perhaps a reference to the Boston-Montreal divisional rivalry. Many fans speculate the missing texts could be the two men exchanging sexual words with each other, as sexting seems to be a common topic for them. A viral Tumblr post, tagged "#Haydenov," has catalogued Pike's negative reactions to Rozanov's sexual encounters with other people and argues the texts are proof the pair have a romantic involvement. If true, this would be uncharacteristic for Hayden Pike, who fans previously lauded for being a “wife guy.”

Adding to the confusion, Rozanov repeatedly refers to Jackie Pike’s fourth child, Amber Pike, as his own. He implies he was there for the conception of the child and discusses the quality of his sperm roughly 9 months before the birth, sparking speculation about the child's paternity. Rozanov's deleted Instagram comment on the birth announcement reads: "mine". Jackie Pike is mentioned in the texts as having sexted Rozanov and/or his partners and in one text Hayden Pike promises to "delete any text about [Rozanov] having a threesome with" Jackie Pike. Earlier this fall, Mr. Pike texted his surprise to learning Rozanov has a texting relationship with Mrs. Pike, who kept that relationship private from her husband for two years. The confusing love triangle has many fans calling this unlikely grouping a “throuple." Jackie Pike responded to our request for comment:

“My children are all unfortunately fathered by my husband, who cannot seem to keep his [...] phone out of trouble. No further comment, we are asking for privacy for our family at this time.” 

Though no formal statement has confirmed any details, the internet has reacted generally positively to Rozanov’s potential sexuality. One Twitter user states, “damn we saw how much [expletive] he was getting, but he was also secretly bagging dudes this whole time? #legendstatus #YaBoiPutsUpNumbers.” Another Twitter user responds to the number of singular they/them pronouns in the threads, “Rozy really said I’ll take her, him, and them. #hattrick #BisexualKing”. One negative tweet garnered attention: "I didn't start watching hockey to watch gays #BanHunter #BanRozanov" but the overwhelming majority of replies to that tweet are in support of both players (more on Scott Hunter below). 

Rozanov is a Russian citizen and promoting homosexuality is illegal in his home country. Many other athletes and famous figures in similar situations have received amnesty protections. At the time of publication, no such official request has been made on behalf of Rozanov. 

The elephant in the messages is the sole link between real-life Pike and Rozanov: They are the best friend and the sworn enemy of Montreal’s Shane Hollander. Many twitter users have noticed the texts strangely seldom mention the Metros star. There are light-hearted jokes and pranks at Hollander's (and Jackie Pike's and Jane's) expense in the first conversation. Just after the phones were returned, Pike said “Shane would still be the best Metro” if Rozanov was on the team. Then, the pair made almost no mention of Pike’s teammate and Rozanov’s rival for nearly two years. The exception is Rozanov referring once to the "2nd best hockey player," which fans infer to be Hollander (note: Hollander outscored Rozanov in the 2015-2016 season when that text was sent). 

One of the most recent exchanges mocks Hollander’s golden-boy image. Rozanov chirps about a dinner party, “Lord, there are so many rules; I feel like I am sexting with Shane Hollander.” Twitter users latched onto this immediately, tweeting parody polite and chaste sexual messages with the hashtag #SextingWithShane, which has 56.7k tweets and is trending in 12 countries at time of publication. Some of the less explicit examples include:

“Yes, I would very much like to touch you, please, thank you. #SextingWithShane” 

“Now I am taking off my helmet. Now I am taking off my skates. That was great. Thank you for a great night. #SextingWithShane”

“Ooh yes baby charge my lithium robot battery #SextingWithShane”

“#SextingWithShane what am I wearing? Rolex, Reeboks, CCM, Hanes briefs…”

“Send me PICS (Pucks, Ice, Celibacy, Skates) #SextingWithShane”

Shane Hollander’s ex-girlfriend and close friend Rose Landry even joined the fun, retweeting some tame examples that reference her.

Some other hockey names appear in less humorous capacities. Most notable among them is Scott Hunter, who the pair speculated might be gay months before his iconic coming out at the cup finals in 2017. Hunter released the following statement:

“I have not read the texts. A violation of privacy like this should not be tolerated. This kind of incident breeds the fear that troubled me for years before coming out. Any amount of fame comes with the constant anxieties of having your laundry aired for the world to see, against your will. We all have a right to share exactly how much we would like the public to see. I hope the person responsible is brought to justice.

Though we are not close acquaintances, I know Mr. Pike is a good man and father. He was supportive of me after I came out. He reached out to me to apologize, and of course I accepted that apology and forgave him. I ask my more enthusiastic fans to do the same and leave the man alone.

I know Mr. Rozanov personally. He is cruel with his words, he plays violent hockey, he is overall terrible as a person and a plague on society. It pains me to say this, but he is not a bigot. At the risk of jeopardizing his badboy image, I can tell you he approached me with some very kind words about my identity last summer, though they were encased in insults about my age, appearance, hockey performance, and relationship. 

I am told there’s talk of me overhearing some sexual encounter. You would have to be more specific. Rooming in hotels full of hockey players on the road has never been a PG-rated experience.”

Carter Vaughn, whose sexuality is also discussed in the thread, also released a statement:

“I respect and love my LGBT teammates and coworkers across a league where it is still unfortunately brave to be out. That said, I myself am heterosexual… I have not interacted much with Rozanov or Pike. The idea that there are still players who believe it is acceptable to engage in these witchhunt-style conversations tells you plenty about how far the league still has to go.” 

There have been no official statements released from Rozanov or Pike. Rozanov has been uncharacteristically subdued on social media, only reacting to a handful of #SextingWithShane tweets. Jackie Pike, Scott Hunter, and numerous other players and public figures have warned fans about the harms of speculating, urging them to stop. 

@terminallyonlinehockey
2 hours ago

Things we know about Jane from the leaked texts:
1. she lives in Montreal but travels to Boston often. 
2. she knows and hates Scott Hunter but Hunter said “no comment” when asked about her 
3. she thinks Shane Hollander is better at hockey than Rozanov (if she’s from Montreal she’s a metros fan so I fuck w her)
4. she is close friends with Pike but knew Roz first (maybe met when they switched phones back?? why would she be there??)
5. has a sexual/romantic relationship with Roz (I think Roz and Jane are otp)
6. Jane and Panic Attack (the male partner) know each other 
7. Jane broke up with a gay boyfriend, who Roz and Pike also might know, in late 2016
8. she was at all-star weekend in 2017 (but then Roz fucked a “he” that same weekend, potentially Jane's gay ex-boyfriend?? how many people could they know who are coming out of the closet within two months of each other??)

@MetrosStanTumblr reblogged @terminallyonlinehockey
2 hours ago

things we know about Roz based on the texts
1. he is a fuck boy trash bag.
2. Jane could do better and idek Jane


@terminallyonlinehockey reblogged @MetrosStanTumblr
2 hours ago

if you needed the texts to tell you that you are fried.


@Bostonpoetry reblogged @terminallyonlinehockey
1 hour ago 

fuck you he sounds sweet in some of these. He loves pikes baby? That’s cute


@HockeyOnlyFan reblogged @Bostonpoetry
1 hour ago

You missed one. We know Jane needs to stop sleeping with gay guys. It’s creepy hes so obsessed with kids. Gaywad needs help.


@Bostonpoetry reblogged @HockeyOnlyFan
36 minutes ago 

fellas is it gay to think babies are cute?

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
being on twitter today during #PikieLeaks is wild bc so much was deleted that all this speculation is complete garbage.

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
they deleted so much that at one point Roz was blackout drunk and forgot he had even sent things. Man erased a full night.

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
Roz is banging dudes and is good with kids. That’s the only news out of this.

↪ Yolanda@yolandaMLH 
thank you!! people fighting over pronouns... theyre not even talking about the same person text to text. they said names get deleted.

Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
We are not doing #PikieLeaks. That is dumb. If you are tweeting about this use #TILRozIsSexGod or I guess just #LeakedTexts. Carry on.

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
Holy Shit

↪ Katie @HollaAtMeHollander 
The first statement you make about this is about the hashtag choice!?!?!?!?

#ReleaseJackiesNudies @BostonGooner
fuck #WhoIsJane who is LILY?? Lesbian sexual deviant, sign me up! #TILRozIsSexGod

↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
so you're just kind of a gross dude huh

Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
Ilya really said my beloved. This is not a drill. #LeakedTexts

Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
Sorry I know I'm a Shane girlie and I will be for life but Ilya Rozanov has won me over. I love him I would die for him. Shane don't make me choose!

Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
if you woke me up this morning and told me by noon I would be a #HaydenovTruther

Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
yall are busy w/ identities and pronouns but what about the fact that they can’t hang out in person bc 3 different Roz partners said no?

↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
three who? I think we established that PA and AK are both the same person the guy from the superhero show

↪↪ Emmanuel @MannyPerr 
you are delusional. it is no one famous.

↪↪↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
they are literally in the tabloids? so yeah they're all freaking famous.

↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
i think angry kitten either is Jane or is code for anyone Rozanov is fucking

↪↪↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
AK has male pronouns.

↪↪↪↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
no they have both. this is all so pointless.

Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
Like... the guys have a running joke about “the optics” of being seen together… The only explanation is that Pike and Roz are exes. 

↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH 
??? how would Pike and Roz be exes? this thread literally watched them meet?

↪↪ Katie #mybeloved  @HollaAtMeHollander
Pike is so defensive whenever Rozanov talks about sex like it’s gross unless he’s sexting him. 

↪ #ReleaseJackiesNudies  @BostonGooner
chat are you exes if you still get together to bang, sometimes including your wife?

↪↪ HerHockey @HPintheCrease
also, imagine thinking they’re just friends when Roz said he SAVED HIS BEST SPERM FOR WHEN HE SEES PIKE

↪↪↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
to me, the sperm is for Jackie… roz says the word sperm and nine months later Amber popped out. 

↪↪↪↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
this is a really valid point omg

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
lowkey kind of want to be friends with these two, the insiders have me in stitches. #LeakedTexts

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
your g*rl says you can’t use identifying words? Ok let’s do the bare fucking minimum and * out literally nothing… J*ne should be pissed.

↪ #ReleaseJackiesNudies @BostonGooner
lmao my b*ys group chat has been doing this all morning. #TILRozIsSexGod

↪↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
get out of my notifs you sound like the worst

Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
anyone else distracted at work thinking about the one time they referred to PA with she/her pronouns? Just me? #LeakedTexts

↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH 
I thought we all knew better than to trust the pronouns in there. So much in between is deleted.

↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH 
there’s literally a conversation about obfuscating gender pronouns. I think they’re all dudes.

↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH 
Pike calls Jane “they” and I think even “he” once... the pronouns are totally meaningless to them.

Detroit Hockey Fan @DetroitHockeyFan
why does Pike know #PanicAttack well enough to share a bathroom? “they’ve been holed up in the shower since they got back”

Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
anyone think it’s weird there are no texts from the day Roz went to visit Shane in the hospital? that's the kind of thing they talk about.

↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH 
girl when

↪↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
he’s on hospital logs and I think roz said he paid a captains visit to the hospital

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
you’re forgetting calls exist like if my bff were in the hospital and my friend who hates him wanted to go visit, thats a phone call fs

↪ Icesula @LittleIcemaid
they don’t talk about Hollander enough IMO. in my mind he’s the only thing theyd talk about but I guess they know the same people IRL?

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
Hollander is getting deleted out of these I think

↪↪ Icesula @LittleIcemaid
I can see them worried Hollander will catch pike talking shit about him to his rival and deleting anything mean abt him

↪↪↪ Mitty's Biddy@MontrealityBites
Explain #SextingWithShane then

#ReleaseJackiesNudies @BostonGooner
still can’t get over Roz hooking up with a guy and a girl at asw. Insane game on that guy. Hollander could never. #TILRozIsSexGod

↪ Detroit Hockey Fan @DetroitHockeyFan
sounds like he did it asw 2011 too

↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
my headcanon is that asw 2011 was an orgy with AK PA Jane and the deleted text

↪↪↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
tht whole convo when Roz was at MLH awards gives me a headache. Too much was deleted, I need the whole story.

@Bostonpoetry
46 minutes ago

I have concluded Roz is currently in a committed relationship with a man.

@terminallyonlinehockey reblogged @Bostonpoetry
43 minutes ago

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter

@Bostonpoetry
31 minutes ago

Ok so all these Roz thirst girlies have been claiming he’s off the market bc we haven’t seen him papped with anyone in a while, and then one of the recent texts says Pike has his boyfriend’s text in a locked folder and then Roz asks Pike to ask the boyfriend for pictures of his asshole.

@HockeyOnlyFan reblogged @Bostonpoetry
15 minutes ago

imagine thinking Roz could be monogamous after reading these texts

@MetrosStanTumblr reblogged @Bostonpoetry
13 minutes ago

the real-life sentence “Roz asks Pike to ask the boyfriend for pictures of his asshole” was not on my bingo card

@terminallyonlinehockey reblogged @Bostonpoetry
4 minutes ago

You're totally misreading it. The takeaway from that conversation is that Pike has seen Roz's nudies and wants to see more. Then he's pissed bc Roz wants to see some other guy's asshole. Roz is stringing Pike's feelings along like a puppy. It's sick.

Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
Dear Panic Attack, I just want to say girls totally can do butt stuff on boys. #LeakedTexts

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ liked this

↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
omg

↪ #ReleaseJackiesNudies @BostonGooner
holy shit.

Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
“Would you be cool with her hooking up with other ppl?” Is such a wild question to pose to Ilya Rozanov 1/2

↪Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
when he has so many lovers the internet has his texts and we still can’t keep track of them all. 2/2

Icesula @LittleIcemaid
Can we talk about the large amount of money that roz paid pike for “gross/awesome sex stuff” #LeakedText #Prostitution 

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
Not some delusional hag on tumblr claiming the cottage they talked about is Shane Hollander's cottage 💀

↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
that was me and I know we've been mutuals since 2015 cup but I will block you




Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
Ok ill explain: the word “cottage” stuck out to me bc the only time I’ve heard that so often is Hollander’s weird Cribs-style documentary.

↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
So then I looked to see if Pike’s summer pics match up to that place, and those posts are all deleted

↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
you think they went to Shane Hollander’s cottage together??

↪↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
Why would Rozanov be at Hollander’s cottage? That makes no sense. You're delusional.

↪↪↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
right? When there’s literally no indication Roz knows him like that

↪↪↪↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
they deleted so many texts, I wouldn’t be surprised if Hollander got deleted. But also, he doesn't own the only cottage in the world.

↪↪↪↪↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
he’s not always deleted, they mention him occasionally.

Emmanuel @MannyPerr
can I just say Jane really dropped the ball as “phone privacy tsar” if we’re all reading the #LeakedTexts rn

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ liked this

Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
Anyone else think Panic Attack could be that cute new commentator in the booth for ABC? He looks like he'd panic. #LeakedTexts

↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
I feel so bad for PA. Whoever it is he’s probably panicking so hard rn. 

↪↪ Scott Hunter's Kiss @NotRealAccount
right! Poor boy also just learned his hookup calls him panic attack ffs lmao

↪↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
you get involved with rozy I feel like you know the risks lol man’s an asshole

Chapter 2: The Statements

Chapter Notes

Thank you for all the comments!! I am laughing so hard at all of them. A few people have mentioned trying to make the doc that would have been released that omits all of the deleted texts. If you're doing that:
a) they deleted things they were told to delete
b) they deleted things without being told if there were identifying features
c) I think Hayden's phone was the one hacked, so identifying things about him (like his kids) weren't deleted, but identifying things about Ilya were.
d) they got sloppy about deletion sometimes

EDIT: Meme Queen @royalrampionengineer is a real person and the meme maker for anything they "post" in this chapter!!! The OP can be found here!! I was going to wait until chapter 3 but I went back and added some here because they were PERFECT.

EDIT: @wholewhaet MADE THE QUIZ!!!! You'll see what I'm talking about, you can actually click that link now!!!

lesbians and their cuck group chat

Shane: fuck
Shane: fucking AGAIN guys???
Shane: why are neither of you answering me
Shane: fuck!!

Shane has changed the name of the group chat
A lesbian and two colossal morons group chat

Hayden: I just sent you the police report, there was literally nothing we could have done about this one. 

Lily: I’m so sorry
Lily: I was in practice.
Lily: calling now

Hayden: you guys bullied me so hard for being so dumb but literally no one has put Jane together and there’s a LOT of stuff they could use.

Lily: you are still dumb
Lily: Yuna is talking with lawyer

Shane: no I just read like five different people putting it together. 
Shane: all in different ways 

Hayden: Jackie is so fucking mad at me
Hayden: #ReleaseJackiesNudies had 5.9k tweets by noon

Shane: call me when it gets to 266k.
Shane: I’ve had people sexting me all day.

Lily: who
Lily: who is doing this
Lily: i want names.

Lily has changed the name of the group chat
lesbians and their colossal moron group chat

Lily: colossal is a new word
Lily: i love it

Shane has changed the name of the group chat
No lesbians, only colossal morons group chat

Shane: you two have learned fucking nothing
Shane: no reference to ANY relationship in writing
Shane: I’m so done. 

Lily has changed the name of the group chat
Fine. group chat

Lily has changed the name of the group chat
Sexting with Shane Hollander group chat

Hayden: nope.
Hayden: not on board.

Hayden has changed the name of the group chat
The boys group chat

Lily: boo
Lily: boring

Shane: no. gendered.
Shane: why would **** and **** be in a group chat with the boys? There has to be at least one woman

Hayden: does it even matter? The guy from cyber crimes had our phones for like two hours to secure them
Hayden: pretty sure I can’t even read these texts. 

Shane: I didn’t think you could read at all 

Lily: 😂 good burn Jane
Lily: love you

Shane has changed the name of the group chat
Fucking Normal Name group chat

Lily: boring

Fun Hockey Today @fhtoday
New Quiz! Which Ilya Rozanov secret sex partner are you? Take our personality quiz to find out!! #LeakedTexts #TILRozIsSexGod [https://uquiz.com/P3KC6F]

↪️ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
LOL that "Sexting Shane Hollander with Rules" is one of the results you can get 💀

↪️ Icesula @LittleIcemaid
how are “someone” and “no one” results here?

↪️↪️ Katie @HollaAtMeHollander
hang on a damn minute

@terminallyonlinehockey
20 minutes ago

A quick analysis of "someone" and "no one", because whoever is at Fun Hockey Today seems to think they're actually code.

“Someone” notes:
1. someone is Jane at first with she/her
2. someone later looks like Panic Attack they/them
3. then someone is the tabloid person who either is and/or dates a he/him.  
4. someone is pissed Haydenov went out and is she/her and then is also maybe Angry Kitten (who, remember, has all three pronouns)
5. someone or their parents own the cottage and invited Roz on the sex trip (but Jane is also on the sex trip, another tally for someone=Jane)
6. someone went with Roz to Pike's house for dinner.

Personally, I think it's Jane. If Someone is a code word at all. BUT if it is, I think that means Jane might be the same person as Panic Attack. The only weird thing about this is the pronouns. “Someone else” could be a separate code from "someone". They're another famous he/him person?

Ok I tried but I just don't think Someone is a code here at all.

"No one" is not really a thing... do we know who runs the Fun Hockey Today site??

@HockeyOnlyFan reblogged @terminallyonlinehockey
16 minutes ago

This is brain rot. I can't believe I read this and still have a brain. You didn't even come to a conclusion. Pleaaseee I'm begging you do literally anything else!!!!


@HollanovTumblr reblogged @terminallyonlinehockey
5 minutes ago 

The hoops you people are going through to prove it's not Shane. Unreal. Meanwhile my #Hollanov dashboard doesn't need to be doing all this today, we're just eating. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@terminallyonlinehockey reblogged @HollanovTumblr
2 minutes ago 

God go away #Hollanov is so creepy, they literally hate each other

@HollanovTumblr reblogged @terminallyonlinehockey
2 minutes ago 

[Gif: Ilya Rozanov kissing Shane Hollander on the helmet at the 2017 All Stars Game]

@terminallyonlinehockey reblogged @HollanovTumblr
1 minutes ago 

When you get a second example, call me. 

Viral Hockey Stats @ViralHockeyStats
Here are the numbers #JaneWasRight! There was a week in 2015 when Pike scored more points than Rozanov. #LeakedTexts

Viral Hockey Stats @ViralHockeyStats
In the games they played without their phones, the Metros (1 game) got shut out; Rozanov scored 4 times, 2 assists (2 games). #LeakedTexts

↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
Roz needs social media detox for his game

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
Wait I just watched the recap for that game... that might have been Hollander's worst night jesus christ I guess I repressed this memory

Viral Hockey Stats @ViralHockeyStats
Hayden Pike saw a 5% scoring increase after meeting Rozanov #LeakedTexts

Viral Hockey Stats @ViralHockeyStats
Ilya Rozanov saw an 8% scoring increase after meeting Pike #LeakedTexts

↪ Emmanuel @MannyPerr
Isn't that like, a normal scoring increase for mid-career though?

Viral Hockey Stats @ViralHockeyStats
Here is Ilya Rozanov's first goal of the 2016-2017 season, dedicated to the ugliest Pike child: [Video imbedded]

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
you wonder how much they deleted just because it was identifying the two of them... we coulda had so much more.

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
and they even did a piss poor job of that 😂 can you imagine? R******v lol that's so effective

Sarah @SarahStevensActress
I slept with Ilya Rozanov in 2015. I'm pretty sure #IAmJane. See my blog post here: [link]

↪ Icesula @LittleIcemaid
[surejan.gif] Sure, Jane.

↪ HerHockey @HPintheCrease
omg I'm pretty sure #IAmThePope

↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
We are all Jane at heart, baby.

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
bitch, who DIDNT have sex with Ilya Rozanov in 2015

↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
I just spat my soda out laughing. you fucking wish.

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
So you know Hayden Pike?

↪↪ Sarah @SarahStevensActress
No and I don't appreciate Ilya talking to him about me, and if I had Ilya's number I would tell him that

↪↪↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
GIRL!!!!! The way in which you are not Jane

This tweet has been deleted.

Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
I'm like still hung up on how Pike and Rozanov know so many of the same people, and are like close friends with them. #LeakedTexts

Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
Then like Jane and PA are friends too? And AK seems to always be around at the same time? 

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
Imagine this friend group. You go to pikes house to hang. 6? people in the room. Ilya Rozanov has been inside every last one of you.

↪↪ Meme Queen @royalrampionengineer



↪↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
😭😭😭 Not Scott Hunter left out

↪↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
omg imagine their group chat today it's probably chaos with so many of them!!

↪↪ Detroit Hockey Fan @DetroitHockeyFan
Thats graphic but I love it. Pike seems so clean-cut but it's bc we thought he only hangs with Hollander. He's probably a freak like Roz.

Normal Name Fucking group chat

Lily: #ReleaseJackiesNudies really is so gross

Hayden: can we talk about how sexist it is that people are demanding those when both of us said we have dick pics too

Lily: very good point!!
Lily: #feminism
Lily: should we start #releasethedickpics

Shane: NO YOU SHOULD NOT.
Shane: I'm also not crazy about people claiming to be Jane

Lily changed the name of the group chat
Everyone is Jane group chat

Hayden: lol I also saw someone say they're Panic Attack and they had a picture with Ilya Rozanov
Hayden: and they posted the picture and it looked nothing like Ilya Rozanov
Hayden: I'm trying to find it bc it made me laugh

Lily: do you want me to respond to them?

Shane: no don't do that
Shane: you shouldn't be responding to any of these people
Shane: but you continue to prove you never listen to me

Lily: I like people saying there are so many different people
Lily: there is someone saying "no one" is a waitress in Ottawa 

Shane: I think it's good too.
Shane: well I don’t really. It feels like sharing. 

Lily changed the name of the group chat
There is only one Jane group chat

Shane: I'll say it again for the group: I don't love the codenames themselves.
Shane: but it’s actually working for the best. 

Hayden: for the record I said no to them!

Lily: 😂 and then you immediately used them

Lily changed the name of the group chat
Jane, Panic Attack, and Angry Kitten group chat

Hayden: 😂

Shane: I give up.

Lily: oldest player in the league is texting me from his stone tablet again
Lily: he wants to know if there’s anything he can do
Lily: is this a proposition 
Lily: because he knows i suck dick now?

Hayden: he didn’t reach out to me, so maybe
Hayden: though according to a lot of these people, i also suck dick?
Hayden: on that topic, why does everyone assume I would be the bottom?

Shane: he’s not the oldest player in the league.
Shane: sorry it's probably not the time for stats
Shane: what did you tell him?

Lily: that is between him and me 😏
Lily: nvm i can not keep this to myself is too good.
Lily: [screenshot]

Grandpa Hunter: hey, I know we talked about this a little at the MLH awards but I wanted to reach out again if you need anything. I’m not reading the leak but it seems like the cat’s out of the bag.

Ilya: thank you.
Ilya: if I need to add fiber to my diet i will ask for recipes

Grandpa Hunter: fuck you
Grandpa Hunter: also, when did I hear you having sex??

Ilya: 😂
Ilya: you never did
Ilya: you would know if you did.
Ilya: or maybe not, you may be forgetful in your old age
Ilya: hearing loss maybe?
Ilya: was late at night, maybe like 4? 5pm? You were asleep

Grandpa Hunter: god you are the fucking worst.
Grandpa Hunter: I can’t believe i might have to share the gay hockey mantle with you
Grandpa Hunter: why couldn’t it be anyone else

Shane: you are terrible.

Hayden: lmfao

Meme Queen @royalrampionengineer



↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
omg Charlie Jayne 😂

↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
why is this so accurate I'm dying help

Mr. Man @ForeveraTrout
Rules for #SextingWithShane: A player can be checked only when in possession of the puck

Mr. Man @ForeveraTrout
Rules for #SextingWithShane: Regulation pucks only: 1" thick and 3" in diameter. 

Mr. Man @ForeveraTrout
Rules for #SextingWithShane: It is considered offside if an attacking player enters the offensive zone before puck crosses the blue line.

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
All my sexts have an attacking player, don't yours??? lmao!

↪↪ #ReleaseJackiesNudies @BostonGooner
I'm usually the attacking player

↪↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
no one is surprised 🙄 you're such a creep #ReleaseNoNudies

Mr. Man @ForeveraTrout
Rules for #SextingWithShane: 6 players from each team are allowed on the ice during game play

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
If you're sexting Shane there's gonna be someone out on penalty with all these rules 😂

Jane, Panic Attack, and Angry Kitten group chat

Shane: WHAT THE FUCK
Shane: did you retweet a #SextingWithShane???
Shane: have you lost your mind???

Lily: was a good one

Hayden: lmao bold

Lily: Yuna said we need to start thinking about statements

Hayden: Jackie already talked to the press and said it was unfortunate that I fathered our children

Lily: 😂😂😂
Lily: slay jackie
Lily: is good thing I fathered all of your children [link]

Hayden: what the fuck is this
Hayden: wait they seriously placed your location for the date of conception for my children??
Hayden: even the twins?? I hadn’t even met you!!

Shane: don’t send this to Jackie this is actually very creepy

Lily: she sent it to me 😢
Lily: she's having a hard day
Lily: she thinks we should make statements

Shane: yes and if yuna also wants statements...

Hayden: idk what my statement would say
Hayden: like there’s nothing to say

Shane: you’re ok with people thinking Ilya Rozanov is your third??

Lily: get people to stop asking for Jackie’s nudies

Shane: and placing Rozanov at the scene of conception for all of your children??

Hayden: ahhh good points. I’ll do a statement.

@haydenpikemetros ☑️

[image stack: Ilya Rozanov holding month-old Amber Pike, looking down at her with heart-eyes, outdoors, a forest blurry in the background // screenshot of text message:

Pike Family Cinematic Universe group chat

Jackie ❤️: everyone say sorry Jackie
Hayden: sorryyy Jackieee
15th best Metro: sorry Dzhekki
Hayden: i love youuuu
15th best Metro: my favorite lady
Jackie ❤️: you two are the fucking worst.

The speculation about these leaked messages has gotten to a point where I feel I need to give you some facts from my perspective. 

Ilya Rozanov and I did actually meet after confusing our phones in the Fall of 2015. Yes, we were both very stupid idiots. We had that in common, so we stayed friends. It is a development I could not have seen coming but would not change. Rozanov has been a good friend, an uncle to my children, and he makes me laugh every day, as you all saw without our consent. He’s a part of our family.

That said, there is no truth to the speculation that Jackie or I had extramarital affairs of any kind with Rozanov or anyone else. As Jackie has said, I unfortunately (for her) fathered all of our children. She is a saint for putting up with my nonsense, and for two years now, Rozanov’s nonsense too. Please stop asking for her “nudies.” I can’t tell you how gross and weird (and sexist) that is. 

I apologize to Scott Hunter and Carter Vaughn for any distress this has caused them.

The hacker has been found and will be brought to justice, but their damage is done. Everyone now knows I get way too invested in my friends’ lives and that I commit to a bit. No regrets.

The continuing damage can be stopped, though. The speculation and analysis of our private words affects me, Jackie, Rozanov, and our friends negatively. Please remember we are actual people.

Since we are into #LeakingTexts today I gave you one more for the road. We really are sorry, Jackie.

Jane, Panic Attack, and Angry Kitten group chat

Shane: 10/10 statement

Lily: statement of the fucking year

Hayden: thanks guys. Feels better. 

Shane: hey asshole can you try to be normal for one fucking second and not copy my comment exactly???

Lily: it was not exact!!!

Shane: !!!

Lily: wait are we doing #LeakingTexts?
Lily: that is cool
Lily: like leaking our own texts instead

Hayden: yeah idk I thought it would be nice for people to see us getting along
Hayden: and maybe get people sympathetic enough for Jackie that they won't harass her anymore?

Lily: its good idea

Shane: I kind of agree, like you're in on the joke 

Hayden: ...did you both just say I had a good idea?

Lily: you have good ideas sometimes

Shane: wait
Shane: no
Shane: Jackie just texted us saying it was her idea.

Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
why wouldn’t they be public about this friendship before?

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
because you parasocial weirdos would wonder why and they’d have to tell you “we’re idiots who can’t keep track of our mobile devices.”

↪↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
and then they would get hacked.... lol

Icesula @LittleIcemaid
"And our friends." Plural. Jane, Panic Attack, Angry Kitten. 

HerHockey @HPintheCrease
Hayden pike feminist icon?!

↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
ok equality #ReleasePikesNudies #ReleaseRozanovNudies #ReleaseJackiesNudies

↪↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH 
are there Rozanov nudies?? 👀

↪↪↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
yeah pike says he’ll delete any “genital text” roz sends him. That’s an agender dick pic if you ask me.

↪↪↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
and pike also says he’s seen enough of Roz’s nudies to last a lifetime or sth

↪↪↪↪ HerHockey @HPintheCrease
tbh I’m not even sure how involved Jackie is in this “throuple” it sounds a lot more like just a couple. 

Scott Hunter's Kiss @NotRealAccount
are we all supposed to be cool about the fact that there’s another person in that chat??

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
lol calm your tits I think Jackie has a sister

↪↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
ok the only thing weirder than it being a Roz bang is if Roz knew Jackie’s sister like that

↪↪↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
holy shit what if Jane is a fake name?? For Jackie’s sister???

↪↪↪↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
completely delusional. Touch grass. Roz introduced Jane and Pike. Also Jane doesn’t need a codename she’s a female. 

Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
I think it's cute that he's leaking his own texts. #LeakingTexts #LeakedTexts

#ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
so you didn’t hook up? You’re saying he wasn’t plowing you and your wife at every opportunity?

↪ HerHockey @HPintheCrease
Pike never beating the #mybeloved allegations

↪↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
the couple who bottoms together stays together

↪↪↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
they didn’t hook up. He was their sperm donor for Amber 

↪↪↪↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
“they didn’t hook up” ok and I “don’t” live in my moms basement

Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
Pike posted that statement and then immediately liked a #SextingWithShane. 😂

↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
is it weird he didn’t apologize to Hollander?

↪↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
why would he? In the texts he’s defending him and even threatening to set him up with Jane?

↪↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
omg I ship Shane/Jane bc I fucking hate Rozanov and their names rhyme and that's cute

↪↪↪↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
“thats right, you like it when I lose against your boyfriend?” #SextingWithShane

↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
I honestly wonder if Hollander knew they were friends. Sorry but if you’re getting cozy with my arch nemesis I hate u

↪↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
most people do not have an arch nemesis girl what is your life 

↪↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
no way he didn't know. Shane def knows Roz irl. They were friendly at asw. "Hey, ive been banging Hayden Pike's wife" had to come up asp.

↪↪↪ Detroit Hockey Fan @DetroitHockeyFan
Roz was too busy asw to talk to Hollander 😂

↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
Shane Hollander hasnt said a word today about any of it, even #sws. He only liked one of Rose Landry’s #sws retweets. 

Yolanda @yolandaMLH
damn RIP Roz’s image. Cant believe Pike would out him like this telling the world hes good w/ kids and emotionally affected by gossip 

Icesula @LittleIcemaid
Leave. Jackie. Pike. Alone.
 
@shanehollanderhockey ☑️ liked this

↪ Icesula @LittleIcemaid
omg sext with me??

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
Shane Hollander real quiet this afternoon 

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
I mean he is every afternoon but...

Jane, Panic Attack, and Angry Kitten group chat

Hayden: is Rose really retweeting #SextingWithShane??

Lily: she better not be

Shane: ??? Yes? You two are also

Lily: but we are your sexters
Lily: we are allowed to sext with or about you

Shane: see this? 
Shane: this is why you two will never beat the allegations 
Shane: there will be a Haydenov truther as long as you’re both alive 

Lily: and it will be me I will feed the flames  

Hayden: could you not?
Hayden: could you maybe be normal about this?
Hayden: could you help put out the fire maybe??

Lily: why would I deny this?

Shane: god you guys are lucky I’m not #LeakingTexts

Hayden: speaking of which, I'm now the only person here who has made a statement

Lily: I’m not sure. I am talking to yuna.
Lily: tbh i like the speculation
Lily: if they are still wondering about me they are not wondering about who else, yes?

Shane: you are such a chaotic person.
Shane: v frustrating
Shane: they’re naming so many people
Shane: including me btw but no one is taking those people seriously

Lily: I could deny it is me in the texts?
Lily: would be funny

Shane: that’s literally all they know for absolute fact.

Hayden: are you sure you’re talking to yuna? Yuna Hollander?

Lily: maybe I say I have never met Hayden Pike in my life?

Hayden: Hey! I literally just called you my friend in an official statement. 

Lily: ok I got this

Hayden: I don’t think you do

Shane: please run it by one of us or yuna before you post anything?

Hayden: maybe we keep brainstorming here?

Shane: yes or that? Please?

Lily: ⭐️ 🌟no 🌟 ⭐️

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️

[image: [screenshot of text]]

Grandpa Hunter: god you are the fucking worst.
Grandpa Hunter: I can’t believe i might have to share the gay hockey mantle with you
Grandpa Hunter: why couldn’t it be anyone else

Pike said we are #leakingtexts for ourselves now. So this is the one I want the internet to see. It’s ok that I post this, his house does not have internet. 

My dear friends Hayden Pike, Jackie Pike, Amber Pike, Jane, Panic Attack, Angry Kitten, Jane’s mother, Panic Attack’s agent, everyone in the comments, and about 96 PR people have all asked me to make a statement. It is this:

Please speculate wildly about me. Please wonder whether I have conquered people from my own gender and others, and share theories (or suggestions) about what weird sex stuff I might be into. Please do not speculate about anyone else. I will get jealous. 

I apologize to any of my sex partners who found themselves mentioned in the texts. Most of you are very lovely people from what I hear. The texts are also probably not about you. 

I offer my apologies to Shane Hollander for saying he probably sexts with a lot of rules. He looks like he does, though. And the hashtag is fun. But please stop sexting him directly. I hear he is angry about it. Don’t want that.

I am sorry Carter Vaughn is in this, because I try to only talk about good hockey players (Pike is exception), and I never thought he was gay anyway. You shouldn’t publicly speculate on other people's sexualities, but it is ok to do it in private. It is not ok to take people's private conversations and speculations and make them public. 

I am most sorry to my beloved Jackie Pike. She does not deserve what is happening to her today. I will say sincerely that any allegations of extramarital affairs are completely untrue. She one time accidentally sexted someone who had sexted my phone. Big misunderstanding, very funny story, lots of people were very angry with me. But since then she has just been Mama Pike for me and htc. I love her very much please be nice to her. 

I’m not sorry to Hayden Pike bc he is also an idiot like me (he is bigger idiot though trust me!!) but he did say we were friends and that was cool. We are friends, he is funny, he helps me. He fathers my children. But again, we do not have sex. Can not be more clear about that. 

None of this matters anyway now. I will take this time to announce I am a committed man. Please respect the privacy of my lucky person or persons.

That is all. Speculate about me and only me using #RozSexTheories.

Jane, Panic Attack, and Angry Kitten group chat

Shane: …

Hayden: …

Lily: what??
Lily: is good statement. 

Shane: you literally asked people to suggest weird sex stuff you might be into. 
Shane: how is this helpful
Shane: you insulted Carter Vaughn
Shane: and me, for the record
Shane: you clarified nothing 
Shane: I feel like this actively makes things worse???
Shane: you said angry!!! When talking about me?? TWICE!!!!
Shane: you said Jackie accidentally sexted?? Thats not a thing!! You can’t accidentally sext!!
Shane: and wtf is htc???
Shane: and casually also dropping that you’re committed????
Shane: to personSSSS????
Shane: i died, right?
Shane: This isn't happening?
Shane: ????

Hayden: I’m not saying you’re NOT living up to your nicknames here, Panic Attack and Angry Kitten. 

Shane: oh fuck you. 

Hayden: Ok Jackie is saying HTC makes sense to her
Hayden: she says you probably just put it in there to fuck with people because you are a complete gremlin and can't be normal about anything ever 
Hayden: oh of course it's her third child
Hayden: aww that's sweet
Hayden: we say that a lot

Lily: she said it in the first message, it stuck
Lily: I say ytc to her
Lily: she says mtc

Hayden: that's cute
Hayden: but wait you're releasing that additional codename into the internet????

Shane: and the theories people are giving so far aren’t even interesting sex stuff!!

Hayden: Shane wtf
Hayden: sorry yeah delete that
Hayden: but seriously wtf

Lily: idk someone is talking about this [link] 
Lily: could be fun

Shane: oh I didn’t see that one
Shane: huh

Hayden: ok guys???
Hayden: you absolutely HAVE to take this discussion into a private message. 
Hayden: why did I click the link???
Hayden: but also 3/10 statement dude. 

Shane: 0/10!! Where is he getting 3 points??

Hayden: I laughed at it. thats 3 points

Shane: then yours was a 7/10

Hayden: mine was fucking flawless where’s your statement jackass let’s see it 

Shane: I don’t need a statement rn I’m not a moron texting dumb shit

Lily: would not be better than mine anyway

Hayden: oh shut up yours is awful
Hayden: you just let Scott Hunter kind of out you?
Hayden: via screenshot?

Scott Hunter's Kiss @NotRealAccount
did Rozanov just let Scott Hunter kind of out him via screenshot? #LeakedText #LeakingTexts

#ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
this man is a king. No notes. #TILRozIsSexGod

Yolanda @yolandaMLH
I am DYING calling out Jane and the code names??? And ADDING ANOTHER? This bitch lives for drama and I am here for it!!!!

Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
who is Panic Attack? so famous he has an agent?

Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
Wake up babe new Rozanov lover alias just dropped #WhoIsHTC??? Is it just a nickname for Pike? 

↪#ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
Hayden's Thick Cock?

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
it stuck out to me the same way he said that Jackie "has been a good mother to Jane and now to me" in the texts. I think HTC is just Jane

↪↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
yeah maybe, why would Jane need a codename in this post tho? he already called out Jane AND Jane's mother.... wait. 

↪↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
when he says "Jane's mother" is it just... Jackie again?

↪↪↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
lol how many of those names are the same fucking people lol this man is straight-up chaos.

↪↪↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
Yeah but I don't think Hayden would feed into that chaos for 2 years of texting... the names definitely mean something, right? 

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
I guess I’ll do the only speculation he wants. Roz seems like he'd secretly be a service top. #RozSexTheories

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ liked this

↪Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
Thank you I googled this and maybe probably yes

↪↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
omg this is my greatest accomplishment they will put it on my tombstone 

↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
we’re all learning a little too much about Ilya Rozanov today

Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
we’re just collectively ignoring he said he’s taken? By who? HTC?

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
he said don’t speculate. When a god gives you a command you follow. 

↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
I thought you hated Rozanov. literally this morning you said "I hate him" but #SMAF made you laugh

↪↪↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
Look I love Hollander bc he's been ace for my team but idk how you could read the texts and this statement and not love Roz a little

↪↪↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
@MetrosBoy2 has a boner bc Rozanov responded to his tweet. You'll all come to the darkside eventually.

↪↪↪↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
I'm already there. Shane Hollander who? (I'm kidding my shaney I love you don't leave me)

Emmanuel @MannyPerr
imma pull a Pike here and say “the father of my children” is what I call all my friends, definitely no relationship here officer. Gtfoh

Icesula @LittleIcemaid
I’m low-key here for the Scott Hunter text tho. Never found the man attractive until reading this.

#ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
Roz into furry shit? #RozSexTheories

↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
sounds fun but no

↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
if I want to fuck gritty I can always return his calls

↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
that thing is thirsty for it

↪↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
💀 

Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
“most of you are lovely people from what I hear” !!!! 😭 I’m dying this man is such an asshole

Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
ngl he makes fun of Hollander for sexting with rules but I just read 5 pages of rules from roz's sext partners #hypocritical #RozSexTheories

Detroit Hockey Fan @DetroitHockeyFan
if Jane needs a “weird Russian safeword” then we know we’ve got a freak on our hands #RozSexTheories #BDSM

Yolanda @yolandaMLH
#RozSexTheories I mean just from the texts, you’re a textbook exhibitionist. 

↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
ehh maybe. if the mood strikes anywhere, I just do it. Not to get off on people watching tho

↪↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
on the phone with Hayden pike? That’s where the mood strikes you?? 

↪↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
so it’s not that he was listening it’s that you heard his voice???

↪↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
#HaydenovTruthers come get your man plz

HerHockey @HPintheCrease
Hollander shady quiet after this. 

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
it’s been 15 minutes calm yourself

↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
he really said angry?? Like we’re not all scrambling back through the Angry Kitten texts wondering if it’s Shane Hollander?

↪↪↪ HerHockey @HPintheCrease
AK is a girl and Roz said angry twice in the statement... maybe it's the only word he knows for "mad"

Mr. Man @ForeveraTrout
roz into age play? #RozSexTheories #TILRozIsSexGod 

↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
eh no I think not

↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
maybe try Scott Hunter’s boyfriend?

↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
this man really said don’t speculate about anyone else and then proceeds to tell us Kip Grady is into age play

↪↪↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️ 
sorry you are right. is not a game for them it’s their real life.

Icesula @LittleIcemaid
what if Jane isn't a girl but another code name? #whoisjane #leakedtexts

↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
Oh you didn't hear? we're done with Jane we're on HTC now

@KipGradyArtHist ☑️ 

[image: [screenshot of DMs]]

ilyarozanov81: anyway
ilyarozanov81: your boyfriend is very brave man
ilyarozanov81: please let me know if anyone is giving you a bad time 
ilyarozanov81: I will murder them

Ok!!! I guess we’re doing this. Ilya has had a lot of #LeakingTexts today so maybe I shouldn’t kick him while he’s down but this “I hate Scott Hunter” thing is an act and I’m not going to let him sit on the toilet and trash my boyfriend in public while he’s like this in private. 

@ScottHunter ☑️ thank you kip, love you

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ I never said I hate Scott Hunter. I say he is too old and bad at hockey to be playing anymore, and probably he should look into old peoples homes. 

@KipGradyArtHist ☑️ Sorry but you're awful. You know I would block you if we weren’t queer hockey family now.

Jane, Panic Attack, and Angry Kitten group chat

Shane: wait did Kip Grady just kind of out you in that comment on his post?

Hayden: where??
Hayden: isnt he like very woke?
Hayden: and gay??

Lily: his post 😂

Hayden: but actually idk you didn’t really make it clear
Hayden: like what's ok for people to say out loud rn?
Hayden: would be nice to have a statement clarifying these things

Lily: lawyers don’t know what to do about Russia
Lily: so I didn't say it in the statement 

Hayden: wait you actually put a molecule of thought into that statement???
Hayden: and it still turned out like that??

Lily: but I probably still will say it
Lily: whatever panic attack wants me to do
Lily: I think it’s the same either way for Russia 
Lily: there is already enough evidence so it does not matter 
Lily: I just keep my job and don’t commit crimes I don’t go back
Lily: maybe when I retire the law will be changed

Shane: Ilya you know we’re going to fix it before it gets to that point right?

Hayden: did you just ask him to marry you in a group text message?
Hayden: with his name so that we all have to delete it?

Shane: No. You are a child. 
Shane: he just called me panic attack in front of me

Lily: who told you the identity of panic attack????

Hayden: 😂

Chapter End Notes

Speculate away!! 😘

edit: @wholewhaet actually made the "Which Ilya Rozanov secret sex partner are you?" quiz!!!! I am 10000% obsessed with this. If you are wondering, I got No One. To be honest, I feel seen. Or... unseen? Point is, I am IN LOVE. Thank you so much @wholewhaet

edit: The INCREDIBLE @RoyalRampionEngineer made memes for us!!! I am spiraling out at these, you need to see them. Spoiler: some of these will be in chapter 3

edit: Don't tell me Gritty wasn't around until 2018. He WAS around in 2017, those texts were just deleted.

Chapter 3: #JackiePikeAppreciationDay is not trending

Chapter Notes

Do I have any regrets? Yes, thank you for asking, it's that Hayden deleted Ilya's whole rant about Shane coming out. Because I think twitter would have a field day with that.

As always I am honored to take up enough brain space for you guys to be commenting and posting about this fic so much! I love every single person here.

Meme Queen @royalrampionengineer is a real human and the meme maker for anything they "post" in this chapter!!! The OP can be found here. I also added some to Chapter 2, so go back and check those out if you haven't seen them!

Yolanda @yolandaMLH
here’s a comprehensive list of all the sex speculation that Rozanov has reacted positively to, a thread. For science. #RozSexTheories 1/?

↪ Meme Queen @royalrampionengineer
ilya scrolling twitter after his statement:

Fun Hockey Today @fhtoday
Take our poll! Who is the ugliest Pike child? Vote now!!

Ruby     28%
Jade       2%
Arthur   57%
Amber   13%

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
ummm this is really sick

↪↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
yeah, like have they ever even posted a picture of Arthur?

↪↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
NOT what's wrong with this!!!

↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
Ruby and Jade are literally identical twins 😭

↪ HerHockey @HPintheCrease
omg take this down!

@terminallyonlinehockey
1 hour ago

Ok so I'm pretty sure I'm onto something...

Rozanov had a weird beef with the name Rose when talking about Hayden’s new baby, and that clicked when I saw Rose Landry liked a #SextingWithShane tweet... so I looked into it. 

The weekend they talk about the tabloid was the same weekend we got the first pictures of ROSE LANDRY AND SHANE HOLLANDER!!!

So many things!!!

1. If Rose Landry is Jane then Pike— Hayden Pike, Shane Hollander’s BEST FRIEND— “thought he was gay” ????
2. Rose Landry went out with Shane Hollander to get back at Rozanov??
3. Rose Landry broke up with Shane because he was gay!?!

Did these texts just accidentally catch Shane Hollander’s sexuality in the crossfire??

BUT it would make sense now that Shane would let them borrow the cottage bc he and Rose are still good friends. 

It ALSO makes sense how Shane and Rose met through a "mutual friend" I think we can now guess that Hayden Pike was the friend, and he knew Rose through Rozanov. Kind of fucked up for Pike to do, but if he thought Shane was gay, then he probably introduced them to be friends. 

Rose would be scared about her optics bc she's traditionally been seen as a girl-next-door type and dating Rozanov would not be good for that. Shane Hollander is much more like her public image.

BUT ALSO cannot stress this enough, Rozanov was definitely still having sex with a lot of other people, male and female (including Pike, imo). I don't think Rozanov and "Jane" were ever exclusive. 

@MetrosStanTumblr reblogged @terminallyonlinehockey
2 hours ago 

it’s weird that the tabloid dates match up but a) you have nothing that says Jane is Rose Landry like no indication they know each other at all and b) Hayden Pike would know whether Shane Hollander is gay or not. Like, clearly. Not just "I thought".

@Bostonpoetry reblogged @terminallyonlinehockey
1 hour ago

No I actually kind of buy this a little bit. It would explain why Rozanov thinks Shane Hollander sexts with rules, maybe that’s something Rose made fun of him for. She’s been retweeting some #SextingWithShane so obviously she thinks it’s funny.

@HollanovTumblr reblogged @terminallyonlinehockey
1 hour ago

I was with you until #1. Imagine being this close to the truth and refusing to see it. #Hollanov will be here whenever you're ready, sweetie. 

@LGBTLetsGoBostonTumblr
2 hours ago

Another "hear me out" for the weirdest day of our lives: 

All three of these people (Jane, Panic Attack, Angry Kitten) have so many pronouns and they change and evolve over the two years so much... are they are all trans? What do we think chat? #Trane #TransicAttack #TransgryKitten

Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
Ok the chronically online idiot on tumblr who was talking about all the names being trans got me thinking

Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
All the names have “AN” in them somewhere prominent (ex. jANe). Is this significant? Are all three the same person? With the initials AN

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
you: this person is looking too deep thinking everyone is trans! Also you: are there hidden initials in these names?

↪↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
I just think it's all one person. The AN in all the names... they're too related. 

↪↪↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
Ok. maybe it's rozANov himself.

↪↪↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
LOL or shANe hollANder 

↪↪↪↪↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
or rose lANdry

Rose: hiiii how are we holding up 

Shane: not great thanks

Rose: k did you see this [link]?
Rose: I guess I'm Jane now?
Rose: usually I'd ignore Tumblr because they're all so fucking weird but this one is making its rounds everywhere else
Rose: some little TMZ wannabe sites are picking it up
Rose: I can wait to say anything, just letting you know this is the kind of thing I'd normally shut down
Rose: Shane? 
Rose: what are you thinking?
Rose: ok you're probably super overwhelmed. I'll leave it alone, let me know if you want me to say anything.

Jane, Panic Attack, and Angry Kitten group chat

Shane: now even fucking Rose Landry is Jane??

Hayden has changed the name of the group chat
Jane Landry, Panic Attack, and Angry Kitten group chat

Shane: not funny.
Shane: I don't get it, this post has me dead to rights
Shane: but they're choosing to believe it's Rose instead?

Hayden: are you complaining?

Shane: no
Shane: it's just weird to see

Lily: last one’s turn for statement!!

Shane: what? fuck off I don’t need a statement yet
Shane: I just have a weird cyber bullying hashtag.

Hayden: ummm this one has you as Jane

Shane: and some conspiracy theorists no one is going to listen to 

Lily: we all did a statement. 😢

Hayden: it's not just conspiracy theorists 
Hayden: I think it's weird if you're saying absolutely nothing 
Hayden: I just read someone else say angry kitten is shane and it’s getting a lot of attention 

Shane: Angry Kitten only has like 2 texts about them
Shane: if they think that just because of Ilya's post I'm going to be so pissed

Hayden: it's definitely not just his post

Shane: hang on my moms calling 

Shane: fuck
Shane: ok apparently I have to do SOMETHING
Shane: Jackie and Hayden are safe to post about right?

@shanehollanderhockey  ☑️

[image stack: Shane smiling with a Pike twin on each arm // screenshot of text message:

Jackie Pike: no matter what anyone says today you are my favorite
Jackie Pike: please pray my husband comes out of this smarter than he went in

Bad day to have internet in your house. This lady is the best though! You heard it here first: I am Jackie's favorite 💙 #leakingtexts #JackiePikeAppreciationDay

I’m also proud of my best friend for keeping it together and not having a Panic Attack. Too soon? 

Please, everyone stop sexting me. None of you are following the rules.

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
is this actually Shane Hollander? Being kind of funny on main?

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
tbf this is probably the most he’s ever been engaged with a pop culture moment bc it involves pike so he has to be aware of it

↪ Rose Landry @RoseLandry ☑️
He's always secretly really funny

↪↪ Shane Hollander @shanehollanderhockey ☑️
Me being funny does not have to be a secret!!!

Icesula @LittleIcemaid
is this a statement? Or? Like what’s the idea here?

↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
I literally think this is a big “fuck you” to Pike for befriending Roz to begin with. He’s so happy this is blowing up in Pikes face.

Yolanda @yolandaMLH
he is so jealous he’s not on that pike family groupchat he had to show us he texts jackie too

↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
… there was another member right?

HerHockey @HPintheCrease
"please don't sext me" sounds like another sexting rule just dropped

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
Shane def knows who everyone is. If Hayden is friends with Jane and she lives in Montreal, they’ve hung out fs

Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
no mention of Roz’s apology though…

Meme Queen @royalrampionengineer
@shanehollanderhockey opening his DMs after #SextingWithShane

@shanehollanderhockey ☑️ liked this

Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
Shane Hollander would be the friend to use your full legal Christian name as your contact name

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
let me get this straight. your best friend has a near-daily text with your arch rival and you don’t know him at all?

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
sus that they’re acting like they don’t talk. 

Emmanuel @MannyPerr
we see you Hollander trying to get another hashtag going 

↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
fr #SextingWithShane is here to stay

↪↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
“ooh Roz, service top me in public but no furry stuff or ageplay” #SextingWithShane #RozSexTheories

Jane Landry, Panic Attack, and Angry Kitten group chat

Hayden: that is… uncharacteristically chill and normal?
Hayden: is this Yuna-approved?

Lily: nothing about me??
Lily: I thought

Shane: yes it’s Yuna approved
Shane: I just finished on the phone with her. 
Shane: and here’s the thing
Shane: I'm making a separate one about you. 

Hayden: holy shit, like…?

Shane: it’s a matter of minutes or hours
Shane: someone is going to piece this together and it will be out of our hands anyway. 
Shane: it’s getting late and it’s the only way i would ever sleep tonight. 
Shane: waking up tomorrow with it already done for us sounds terrible 
Shane: my mom just read me someone’s very convincing manifesto on Tumblr. 
Shane: and Rose sent me one earlier.
Shane: they have Hayden at my cottage with Amber 
Shane: they have Rose's name in the mix
Shane: which means they have me gay
Shane: my name was already in the running for both PA and AK before that
Shane: someone said all the names are the same person
Shane: and one person has Jane as a man
Shane: Hayden you said you saw someone have me for Jane
Shane: It’s happening either way. 
Shane: just two of these idiots have to agree with each other and then it's done

Lily: I told you do not go on stan tumblr
Lily: call me?

Hayden: ughhhh that means I won’t hear the teaaa
Hayden: the suspense is killing me
Hayden: ??? What did you decide???

@shanehollanderhockey ☑️

[image: screenshot of text messages] 

Shane: this is so fucked

Lily: please breathe love
Lily: no one knows 
Lily: it’s ok

Shane: they’re like 30 seconds away from putting it together
Shane: but even if they weren’t
Shane: I don’t actually want people speculating about your sex life
Shane: or saying you’re with all these other people 
Shane: I want them to know I am your only sex life
Shane: and that it’s just me

Lily: ok?? I don’t want anyone sexting you 
Lily: or thinking you are writing boring sexts 
Lily: but we are here

Shane: I think I’m just going to do it

Lily: I love you

And if I am #LeakingTexts I might as well leak some from Panic Attack himself. 

While we’re at it, Jane gives you permission to speculate away as long as I am included. 

Angry Kitten is not super happy about this code name, but is actually only angry with the people who took away our chance to do this our way. 

Two announcements: 

I am gay. Thank you to my parents and close friends for keeping this for me for as many years, months, or weeks as you’ve known. 

I am in a serious, monogamous, very not-casual relationship with Ilya Rozanov. It would have been nice to do this on our own terms, but the internet was about 2 hours away from doing it for us. We don’t know what this means for our careers or Ilya’s life in Russia. I wish we were given more time to find answers to those questions. 

The texts are about me. Yes, all of them. I am lucky to have two people who care about me so much they could build a friendship off it, even if they’re both so dumb that it should be illegal. I’m sorry to anyone else who got caught in the speculation crossfire. 

Please stop sending me sexts. Only one person is allowed to do that. And yes, there are rules, and yes, he follows them. 

Ilya, I love you. Please try to be normal about this.

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️, @haydenpikemetros ☑️, @roselandry ☑️, @scotthunter ☑️, and others liked this

@haydenpikemetros ☑️ love you bud 🏳️‍🌈

@roselandry ☑️ you’re amazing! 🤩 

@Ilyarozanov81 ☑️ i will not be being normal about this.  

↪ @shanehollanderhockey ☑️ I kind of know that.

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov's boyfriend, and Angry Kitten group chat

Hayden: !!!!
Hayden: statement of the year

Lily: 🤩😍🥰😘😭😭😭

Shane: is it ok?

Hayden: it’s perfect

Shane: I’m going to need a numeric score from someone or I’ll freak out

Lily: 10/10

Hayden: 9.8/10 needed more Hayden
Hayden: you are breaking the internet 

Lily: wait so I can like more #SextingWithShane now?

Shane: don’t!!! Omg

Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
wait wtf Hollander was all of them??

Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
going offline for 7-10 business days to process this information

Yolanda @yolandaMLH
what is Lily? is that Rozanov? 

#ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
#LILYREVEALED I knew I loved Lily!! In the texts Roz says Lily and Jane lesbian sex would be hot thats funny now 

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
pike also calls Lily a sexual deviant lmfao

Emmanuel @MannyPerr
Lily/Ilya Jane/Shane real inventive guys. I hope no one got hurt thinking of those. 

↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
it worked yes?

Yolanda @yolandaMLH
ooh yes you’re better at hockey than me Ilya #SextingWithShane #rozsextheories

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ liked this

Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
“wish we had more time” bitch this has been going on since the first world war!! you had time!

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
for real I can’t believe they didn’t have a plan already

Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
so fucked that he had to specify monogamous lmao boy your hearts about to get broken in front of everybody

↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
if you don’t think roz is secretly a sweetie after the last 24 hours idk you’re a bad judge of character

↪↪ Detroit Hockey Fan @DetroitHockeyFan
“you’re a bad judge of character” is the meanest thing I’ve heard someone say on this platform

Yolanda @yolandaMLH
#SextingWithShane rule 1. be Ilya Rozanov I guess

@shanehollanderhockey ☑️ liked this

↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
no rule 1 is no nudies 😭 rule 2 is only me

↪↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
oh my god this is TMI I can’t believe I’m saying I know too much about Shane Hollanders sex life rn

↪↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
holy shit??? not only did Shane Hollander snag this man, he did it WITHOUT NUDIES???

↪↪ Meme Queen @royalrampionengineer
#SextingWithShane 

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ liked this

Detroit Hockey Fan @DetroitHockeyFan
ok wait can we just discuss how this has been happening since BEFORE 2011?? Almost 7 years?? 

↪ Icesula @LittleIcemaid
their rookie season holy shit

↪↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
their entire fucking careers this is wild

↪↪↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
Since @scotthunter was only 75 years old

↪↪↪↪ Captain Scott Hunter @scotthunter ☑️
Keep my name out of your mentions, please

HerHockey @HPintheCrease
so I’m confused, pike is in a throuple with roz and hollander? Bc in no world are pike and roz not boning daily

↪ Icesula @LittleIcemaid
omg give it up

↪↪ HerHockey @HPintheCrease
✨ my beloved ✨ 

↪↪↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
he is at least the sperm donor for Amber and no one can convince me otherwise

Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
imma guess you’ve got a thing for people who are better at hockey than you #RozSexTheories

@shanehollanderhockey ☑️ liked this

↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
get out of my hashtag Shane!!

↪↪ Shane Hollander @shanehollanderhockey ☑️
my hashtag too now

↪↪↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
oh… my god

Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
why is everyone assuming Rozanov is the top here?? I can’t find it anywhere in the texts. 

↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
girl.

↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
girl.

@HollanovTumblr
5 minutes ago

Well... fuck me, basically.

@terminallyonlinehockey reblogged @HollanovTumblr
3 minutes ago

I'm giving you a follow. You're going to be insufferable about this, right?

@HollanovTumblr reblogged @terminallyonlinehockey
2 minute ago

[gif: Ilya Rozanov in lockerroom interview winking at a reporter]

@IlyaRozanovJoinedStanTumblr reblogged @HollanovTumblr
1 minute ago

You are very creepy people but I am also now following because the pictures you use of Shane are cute and I am also very attractive. 

@HollanovTumblr reblogged @IlyaRozanovJoinedStanTumblr 
Just now 

... this isn't real, right? This is a fake account?

Hayden has changed the name of the group chat
Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov's boyfriend, and stan tumblr group chat

Shane: wait why?
Shane: ILYA
Shane: I know you're going to be insane about this?
Shane: but can you PLEASE take like... a 10 minute social media break!!

Hayden: you can't ask him to do that when he's on fire like this

Lily: 😢 I want to talk about you

Shane: PLEASE not in detail though!!

Shane has changed the name of the group chat
Gays and their cuck group chat

Scott Hunter's Kiss @NotRealAccount
… and they were RIVALS

Emmanuel @MannyPerr
if all of these texts are about the same person then Rozanov was down so bad. 

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ liked this

#ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
ok I'm about to do something gross. So Shane Hollander— like... Shane. Hollander. is: “thirsty for it” “desperate” “needs it” 1/4

↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
he is the best sexter alive even w/o using genitals or pronouns, has "weird foreplay games" and a “weird Russian safeword”

↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
Had sex while on the phone w/ Pike AND while Hunter listened AND while pike watched? AND “wants someone he can fuck in public”

↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
"Needs it" pre- and post-game; fucked "a lot a lot" at ASW; took a "two-week sex trip"; loud during sex, very good at head...

↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
Again: This is Shane Hollander. I will never emotionally recover from this information. 

↪↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
god when you put it all together like that Jesus Christ

↪↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
hey roz can you confirm the freak4freak allegations here? @ilyarozanov81 #RozSexTheories #HollRozSexTheories

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ liked this

Scott Hunter's Kiss @NotRealAccount
wait I never once thought I would feel bad for Ilya Rozanov getting his heart broken… Hollander really did him dirty last year. 

Movie Buffoon @filmsforfilms
so what was Rose Landry?

Landry Fandry @Landryfandry
feel so bad for rose rn

Yolanda @yolandaMLH
omg rose landry told Shane Hollander he was gay #iconstatus

Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
Rose Landry was a beard!! Did she get paid for that or???

↪ Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
best acting of her career! I bought it. 

@roselandry ☑️

[image stack: selfie of Rose Landry and Shane Hollander // screenshot of texts]

Rose: he’s really hot!!!!!?
Shane 💙🏒: not a question
Shane 💙🏒: but yes he really is

A message to my fans: Shane Hollander (and everyone associated with him) has always been incredible to me. Shane and I met at very weird times in our lives, our relationship was real, it was a lot of fun, and I got a great friend out of it. Leave him and his people alone. Keep sending me funny #SextingWithShane though, some of these are gold. For the record, I think he has only ever sexted with one person. It wasn’t me. 

Since we’re #leakingtexts, here is live footage of me finding out Shane thinks his boyfriend is hot. 

I am so proud of you Shane, and you know I hate to say I told you so 😉

Gays and their cuck group chat

Hayden: you see Rose posted?
Hayden: lol Shane thinks you’re hot

Lily: this is a fact 
Lily: rose does not need to be messaging you this

Hayden: wait are you still jealous of rose?

Shane: …you know I literally just came out for you right?

Lily: still

Lily changed the name of the group chat
Gay man and two bisexuals group chat

Hayden: wait what?

Scott Hunter: Hey! I’m really proud of you! I think you’re going to be a lot happier. And selfishly, I’m glad it’s not just me out here! 

Shane: Thanks, Scott. You were a big part of it, I know Ilya told you that. Maybe you didn’t know it was me at the time, or maybe you did, but you convinced him to take a chance on this. So thank you for that. 

Scott Hunter: I had an inkling
Scott Hunter: Glad I could help. 
Scott Hunter: But … 

Shane: ok I know
Shane: it’s a long story
Shane: he’s just the one
Shane: I don’t think we get to choose it 

Scott Hunter: yeah, I think you get veto power over it though right?
Scott Hunter: also your boyfriend wasn't helpful 
Scott Hunter: (surprising no one)
Scott Hunter: when did I hear you having sex???

Shane: omg I'm going to kill him

Scott Hunter: I said he WASNT helpful
Scott Hunter: wait, no
Scott Hunter: not complaining
Scott Hunter: please kill him

One gay, one bisexual, one fairly straight man group chat

Shane: ok now I think people are texting me for the sole purpose of getting a screenshot for the #leakingtexts

Hayden: lol same
Hayden: just heard from three guys I like barely talk to 

Shane: people are dumb

Lily: not as dumb as Hayden 

Shane: no not that dumb

Lily: who is texting you

Shane: 🏳️‍🌈🦖

Lily: is he asking you for blowjobs too now?
Lily: please do not blow Scott Hunter
Lily: I can fight him

Shane: I... wasn't planning on it?
Shane: you're the one who thinks he's hot

Hayden: WHAT!?

@ScottHunter ☑️
[image stack: Shane Hollander next to Scott Hunter on a bench at All-Star Weekend 2011 // Shane and Scott being held back by referees while they yell at each other // screenshot of text messages]

Scott: Glad I could help. 
Scott: But … 

Shane Hollander: ok I know
Shane Hollander: it’s a long story
Shane Hollander: he’s just the one
Shane Hollander: I don’t think we get to choose it 

Ok, this one I actually am proud to share the mantle with. I love you, Rookie. 🏳️‍🌈

But please rethink your choices. Kip and I can set you up with someone nice. 

(10% kidding. If you’re happy I’m happy. And on the topic of #LeakingTexts, it seems like he’s pretty darn happy.)

@shanehollanderhockey ☑️ Thank you Scott. You changed the game. 

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ you only know gay men with grandpa fetish
@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ also we banged in the room next to yours the night of this picture
@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ and that fight gets me charged up

↪ @shanehollanderhockey ☑️ delete all of this!!!!

↪↪ @ilyarozanov81 ☑️ sorry you are right love it was just mouth and hand stuff that night
@haydenpikemetros ☑️ liked this reply

One gay, one crush on Scott Hunter, and a cuck group chat

Shane: Ilya!!!!!!
Shane: 15 minute socials penalty

Hayden: I’m dying this is hysterical. 

Lily: he started it
Lily: says he would find you someone else

Hayden: I am super curious to know who he would come up with 
Hayden: shane have you tried anyone else? Might be worth a shot

Lily: !?!?!? 

@terminallyonlinehockey reblogged @terminallyonlinehockey
15 minutes ago

Revisiting this list now that we know Jane is Shane

a) we literally saw Hayden Pike find out his best friend is gay and fucking Ilya Rozanov. It had to have happened the night of the phones returning: Overnight he goes from "who is Jane" to "Jane is ok."

b) Hollander left Rozanov’s house after Roz said it was “serious”, had a panic attack, and then a week later was papped with Rose Landry

c) Rose Landry told Shane Hollander he was gay?? This I’m still confused about. did he not know that before her?

d) So Hollanov (can’t believe I’m borrowing nicknames from shippers) started being exclusive last season post-Rose? In the texts in the spring Ilya is still saying "not a couple" which like... I'm kind of with Hayden on this whole thing now. If all of those code names are the same person, Rozanov was fucking OBSESSED with Shane Hollander and their sex affair.

e) Hayden Pike being the IRL #Hollanov shipper was not on my bingo card

Viral Hockey Stats @ViralHockeyStats
Ilya Rozanov scores 22% more when playing Montreal than his average #LeakedTexts

↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
yeah he does 😉

Viral Hockey Stats @ViralHockeyStats
Shane Hollander scores 18% more when playing Boston than his average #LeakedTexts

↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
I'd say 100% more, right? What's Hollander's "scoring" average without Roz?

Viral Hockey Stats @ViralHockeyStats
Video of Shane Hollander's bad hit in 2017, featuring worried Ilya Rozanov (and Angry Kitten Hayden Pike) [Video Imbedded]

↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
I will never emotionally recover from this

↪ Ilya's Face at Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
oh my god are we all fucking blind??

↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
The boy was so worried about his man!!! 😭 why would you do this today??

↪↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
And he had just lost his father??? This is breaking my heart.

↪ Hayden @haydenpikemetros ☑️
Angry Kitten Hayden Pike?? Who the fuck is running this account??

↪↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
Calm down Angry Kitten 😘

↪↪↪ Scott Hunter's Kiss @NotRealAccount
you two are never, EVER beating the allegations, no matter how many Shane Hollander "monogamous" relationships come out

#ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
Justice for Hayden Pike who had to listen to Rozanov talking about railing his best friend nonstop for two years. 

@haydenpikemetros ☑️ liked this

↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
He loved it.

@haydenpikemetros ☑️

[image stack: Ilya and Shane standing in the cottage kitchen having a private conversation, heart eyes at each other // Shane holding Amber with Ilya in the background // Ilya in a Metros sweatshirt // Ilya with the twins climbing on him with Shane laughing in the background]

Ok I can share these now? Because they are some of the cutest pictures ever taken and they were rotting away in my other locked folder. Glad I can share them. The world needs to know how adorable they are. Proud of my best friends Uncle Shane and Uncle Roz. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ take this down it is too intimate

@shanehollanderhockey ☑️ thank you buddy 

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️

[image: a shirtless mirror thirst trap selfie of Shane in giving sultry eyes to the camera ]

Oh we're sharing our locked folders now? The world needs to know how sexy he is. #LeakingSexts and I mean #Leaking

@haydenpikemetros ☑️ MINE was too intimate??

Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
lmao you know panic attack is blowing up his phone rn

↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
I think he’d be more angry kitten about this 

Ilya's Face at Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
fucking take me back 24 hours so I can relive this day

↪ Yolanda @yolandaMLH
honestly would not mind groundhogs day if it were today

Emmanuel @MannyPerr
Shane in an actual underwear ad ☹️ // Shane in a pic to his bf 🔥🍆💦

↪ HerHockey @HPintheCrease
for real this energy was nowhere in that shoot

↪ Ilya's Face at Shane's Concussion @MetrosBoy2
also check the brand of the undies waistband peaking out. The man doesn’t even sext in anything but his endorsement deals 🤣 

#ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
ok I didn’t understand this relationship at all until this exact moment. Now the entire world makes sense to me.

Yolanda @yolandaMLH
Shane: Be Normal Please! Ilya: NO

Gays, bisexuals, and cucks group chat

Shane: Ilya!!!
Shane: What in the fuck!!!

Hayden: damn shane 

Lily: world needs to know

Scott Hunter's Kiss @NotRealAccount
holy shit Shane Hollander could get it 

↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
careful

Scott Hunter's Kiss @NotRealAccount
well fuck. not me sliding into Hollanders dms.

↪ Lets Go Boston Twitter @LGBTLetsGoBoston
for real lol lmk if he needs anyone who can sext better than roz 

↪↪ Ilya Rozanov #GOAT @ilyarozanov81 ☑️
ok that's it

Gays, bisexuals, and cucks group chat

Lily: ok nvm I delete it

Shane: thank you!!

Lily: because people got too comfortable 

@haydenpikemetros ☑️
[image: Shane and Ilya in bathing suits sunbathing on the dock]

I didn’t know we could include the nsfw ones! My bad! Sorry roz! #LeakingSexts

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ apology accepted. Thank you for the pic. 

HerHockey @HPintheCrease
ok so Hayden Pike saw this sight and said “let me take a pic that I know I can’t share anywhere”? This man is not beating the speculation. 

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️, @shanehollanderhockey ☑️, and 96 others liked this comment

Icesula @LittleIcemaid
still think pike and roz sexted at some point 

Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
pike your child was there?? Stop drooling???

Scott Hunter's Kiss @NotRealAccount
ok how does one get invited to a Holl-Pike-Roz sleepover? 

Shane Hollander @shanehollanderhockey ☑️
Never mind ignore my last statement I take it back. Ilya Rozanov is the worst person on the planet.

@ScottHunter ☑️, @KipGradyArtHist ☑️, and 106 others liked this

Shane Hollander @shanehollanderhockey ☑️
I am also in the market for a new best friend @roselandry @jackiepikemetros anyone want to move up in the roster?

↪ Jackie Freaking Pike @jackiepikemetros ☑️
fuck no you are drama now. In the immortal words of our founding father, “you’re starting to sound just like him” 🥊

↪↪ Captain Scott Hunter @Scotthunter ☑️
Nice to meet you, Jackie. I've heard great things. Could you not call me a "founding father" anymore? 

↪↪ Hayden @Haydenpikemetros ☑️
@jackiepikemetros THIS is also drama babe

↪ Rose Landry @RoseLandry ☑️
I volunteer as tribute bc i cherish the drama. 

Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
holy fuck we are FEASTING huh

#ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
Jackie Fucking Pike Queen #ReleaseJackiesNudies 

Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
wait did Jackie pike just release the tea that the hunter/hollander fight was actually about roz???

↪ Ilya's Face at Shane's Concussion @Metrosboy2
right we have wondered about that fight for years, turns out it was bc Scott Hunter clocked them?

Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
I will never get used to Shane Hollander being funny on main??? Is this what out Shane is going to be like???

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️

[image: compilation of screenshots of singular texts]

Jane: you’re a fucking asshole

Jane: asshole????

Jane: fucking dick

Jane: you’re an asshole

Jane: go fuck yourself

Jane: dick

Jane: I love you

#LeakingTexts #SextingWithShane 🥰

@shanehollanderhockey ☑️ right now I feel 99% the first six and 1% the last one

@Haydenpikemetros ☑️ classic Angry Kitten

↪ @shanehollanderhockey ☑️ go fuck yourself Hayden

Yolanda @yolandaMLH
king behavior

Icesula @LittleIcemaid
shane Hollander curses a lot lol

↪ Ilya's Face at Shane's Concussion @Metrosboy2
we knew this from the time he was mic’d up and then he was never chosen for the mic again lol

Detroit Hockey Fan @DetroitHockeyFan
wait so this is like real real? 

#ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
this is the most I have ever liked Shane Hollander. 

@Yuna_On_Instagram

[image: screenshot of text]

Hollanders group chat

David: We are excited for the first matchup of the season!
David: You boys play nice tonight.

Yuna: Sorry Ilya, I will still be cheering for Shane!

Ilya: is ok, David will console you when we win. 

Yuna: Won’t need consoling when Shane kicks your ass!

Shane: ok mom jesus thats enough

Ilya: thank you for standing up for me

Shane: no go fuck yourself have fun losing

Ilya: love you! 😘

Ooh can I play?? I didn’t have many that wouldn’t jeopardize Ilya’s image. #LeakingTexts

I am so proud of my boys today and dealing with this whole thing has been so stressful! But they are handling it so well. Yes, it’s true that these guys love each other very much every day except when they play.  

@shanehollanderhockey ☑️ when your mom doesn’t delete named texts even though we went over the rules so many times 

↪ @ShanesDadDavid I deleted them from my phone

↪ @Yuna_On_Instagram I’m glad I didn’t! These texts are a part of history now. 

@Ilyarozanov81 ☑️ thank you yuna I love you

↪ @Yuna_On_Instagram love you too sweetie!

Ilya's Face at Shane's Concussion @Metrosboy2
this whole fucking night is the twilight zone. 

Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
if you told me 24 hours ago I’d be watching Ilya Rozanov and Yuna Hollander exchange I Love You, I would have shot you dead. 

#ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
is this a long con to sleep with Hollanders mom? She could get it. 

Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
not Yuna Hollander having to follow the same sexting rules as her sons boyfriend 

↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
wonder if he gave her a different binder or just skipped certain pages. 

@JackiePikeMetros ☑️

[image stack: screenshot of text messages // compilation of screenshots of three texts // screenshot of text message]

Not Hayden: there is new season of “are you the one”?
Not Hayden: everyone on this show could get it

Jackie: omg agreed! But they’re all so annoying tho I would fail this show so hard

Not Hayden: good thing we already have annoying men
Not Hayden: ytc > anyone on this show
Not Hayden: ytc > anyone on any show

Shane: do you think Lily would like this [link]? Should I get it?

Shane: I think Lily is having a sad day or something, can you send over a picture of the kids? 
Shane: Ruby being a menace preferred thats Lilys favorite

Shane: tell Hayden to stop being mean to Lily
Shane: but in a way that doesn’t sound like I said anything or care at all

Hayden: these gay shitheads are going to end my life.
Hayden: "Hey Jade, how did your dad die?"
Hayden: "Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander were so mindlessly gay that he combusted. I'd rather not talk about it."

#LeakingTexts I have too many. My phone is not a safe place for these three. All of these texts are from when they were “not serious” “just hooking up” “rivals-with-benefits” yes I’m serious. We lived through this and barely survived to tell the tale. 

1. Rozy is “Not Hayden” in my phone from the phone swap and I never changed it. Shane was usually called “my third child” (hence ytc) and stayed that way even after I had Arthur. We joke Arthur is actually the fifth. 
2. Let’s just say Shane does not get less needy about this man over time. Again, they were “casual” at this time. 
3. I promise my husband is not a bigot but I laughed so hard at that text I saved it to my other locked folder. 

What did I do wrong that these are the men in my life?? Wouldn't change it ❤️

@shanehollanderhockey ☑️ god Jackie this is diabolical

@ilyarozanov81 ☑️ my reputation is not coming back from this day 😭😭😭

@haydenpikemetros ☑️  love you baby you can do no wrong today or any other day!

Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
ok can we agree Jackie Pike won the #LeakedTexts thing?

#ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
I’m still not entirely convinced roz never hit that…

↪ Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
ew she literally just called him her child and they’re talking about the men they love

↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
also Jackie Pike has a locked folder? 😏 #ReleaseAllTheNudies

Icesula @LittleIcemaid
I’m so here for roz loving trash tv. 

Scott Hunter's Kiss @NotRealAccount
as a bisexual I nominate Rozanov and Jackie Pike to be our king and queen. 

Ilya's Face at Shane's Concussion @Metrosboy2
holy down bad Shane Hollander get it together man!! This was about a casual hookup???

↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
my god if anyone ever talked about me like that ☠️ game overrr we’d be married

Yolanda @yolandaMLH
yeah Jackie was really batting cleanup here idk if anyone else can top this 

↪ #ReleaseAllTheNudies @BostonGooner
sounds like Ilya Rozanov could top almost anything 😉

Mitty's Biddy @MontrealityBites
can we all say thank you to the hockey gods that this happened on a night that Boston and Montreal had no games

↪ Katie #mybeloved @HollaAtMeHollander
thankkk youuu hockey godssss

↪ Ilya's Face at Shane's Concussion @Metrosboy2
for real is anyone watching hockey tonight?

↪↪ Cups on @Cupsoncupsbabyyy
I am and even the commentators are so distracted. I thought they were going to cut to a Twitter live feed at some point. 

lesbians and their cuck group chat

Shane: I have to sleep if I want to be functional in a game tomorrow

Lily: have seen you function at games with no sleep
Lily: you will be fine

Shane: thank you lyubimyy

Lily: if you want to sleep tonight that was bad word choice 

Shane: maybe I knew that 😉😘

Hayden: GUYS
Hayden: go to sleep we all have games tomorrow. 
Hayden: or at least use your own chat ffs

Lily: or maybe FaceTime?

Shane: yes please FaceTime is better
Shane: like, now?

Lily: she is really desperate for it

Shane: she might be

Lily: ok fuck yes hold on wait for me

Hayden: Jesus christ
Hayden: just fucking call each other!!! 
Hayden: also why are we still saying "she"? 
Hayden: If these get leaked the #RozSexTheories people would go wild

Hockey Breaking News Source @hockeybns
Shane Hollander waves to fans who held a pride flag at Montreal’s game against San Diego tonight. 

Hockey Breaking News Source @hockeybns
Ilya Rozanov is suspended for one game after striking a heckling fan. “Simple rule: If there is a bigot at my hockey game they get punched.”

Hockey Breaking News Source @hockeybns
Post-game interview with Shane Hollander transcript here: [link]

“Mr. Hollander, what’s your reaction to Ilya Rozanov hitting an audience member?”

“Wait what happened?”

“An audience member called him some offensive names and he hit him in the face.”

“Oh, God. Ok. Ummm. Look— if you’re going to hold me responsible for what Rozanov does, we might be here a while. The man has no shame, and I am 98% shame. If the fan called him something though… obviously he shouldn’t have hit him but… sorry I hadn’t heard about this, I was a little busy.”

“How did it feel to see a pride flag in the audience?”

“That was cool. There are a lot of people saying some really nasty things, so it’s nice to see some support.”

“The texts and tweets are very sexual in nature. How does that affect your image?”

“I’m not sure. I was never really trying to have a pristine image. What I was trying to do was keep a pretty big secret under wraps. My private life was private because it literally had to be. It was crazy whiplash to go from the hashtag where people were making fun of how clean cut I am, to having everyone on the internet know everything about my sex life. In a matter of hours.”

“Will you continue to keep your private life private?”

“I am in a relationship with Ilya Rozanov. I don’t have a private life anymore. This is someone who has tweeted his bowel movements— that's not a joke. I don’t pretend to think I’m safe. I don’t know if I would anyway. I’m excited to find out who I am without this thing looming over me. Last night was fun just being open with the fans. I’ll never post as much as him, I don’t think it’s humanly possible. But I’m excited to share a little more of my life, or at least not be terrified if anything gets shared about me. I might try to hang up the Panic Attack nickname.”

Hollander has refused to answer questions about his status on the team or in the league.

one lesbian, his cuck, and a violent idiot group chat

Shane: ILYA
Shane: you HIT a fan???

Hayden: what???
Hayden: why are you doing this in the group chat?
Hayden: didn't you JUST tell a reporter you wouldn't be Panic Attack anymore?

Lily: he said awful things. 
Lily: just means I don't have to play tomorrow.

Shane: you're such an idiot!
Shane: what if you had gotten suspended for Friday's game too?

Lily: then I would have sat on the bench and watched you play

Hayden: again, gotta ask why this is in the group chat
Hayden: take this to FaceTime
Hayden: I'll see you Friday

Montreal played Boston last night. No one watched the game.

Barry Werner
Hockey Opinion Columnist
Sportstime Magazine

In their first meeting since a whirlwind scandal outed both Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander, exposed their relationship with each other, and implicated Hayden Pike on the way, Boston beat Montreal 4-3. 

The game had the highest viewership of the season, with fans and non-fans no doubt tuning in to see any interaction between Rozanov and Hollander (and Pike, if we’re honest). Those viewers may have been disappointed. All three men acted and played like it was a normal game. Face offs between Rozanov and Hollander were especially anticipated, but fell short of the dramatic expectations. That is to say, they were exactly as intense as we have seen from the pairing for years. The matchup between the teams is always an exciting one, and actual hockey fans could not have been disappointed by the display of talent on the ice. Hollander and Rozanov both put up two goals each. 

After the game, Dilly Dickinson of Hockey Today asked Hollander if today was different. He said, “I don’t know why it would be. Our relationship has always been there. Rozanov and I aren’t in love when we’re on the same ice. He’s a great player, the second best in the league, and it’s always fun to watch him and play against him. But this is our job. I’m not sure— did people think we were going to kiss? We’re not Scott Hunter. Maybe in 50 years we will be.” Hollander laughed at his own joke. The answer began as Shane Hollander as it could get but by the end? It’s clear Rozanov has rubbed off on him. 

Rozanov was asked whether the game was different and responded, “If you thought I would play different because now people know about us, you do not know me. Or Hollander. I play my best against Hollander, I always have. I always have wanted to impress him. I am excited to see if it worked tonight.” Rozanov grinned goofily. 

“Was there ever any rivalry?”

“No. Because I am not rivaled. Hollander is a low second-place. I will probably not have a true rival in my career.” 

“He has beaten you in the scoring race two years in a row, including when he was injured and out for playoffs.”

“Next question.”  

“How is this affecting your relationship with Russia?”

“Am not in a relationship with Russia, just with Shane Hollander. Russia doesn’t love me so I say […] I’ll move here. Someone will give me green card marriage maybe.”

“Is marriage on the table for you then?”

"This man has plans for his clothes, his food, his whole life is planned... I trust any plan he has for this." 

Back in the Montreal locker room, Pike was asked about the hacker. “Is anyone planning to ask about hockey? I scored a goal tonight!”

The three were seen exiting the arena together, Rozanov and Hollander holding hands.

A Montreal fan speculated after the game, "This is going to be a media [...]show. As a fan of the actual game, I am not looking forward to this."