Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov, Zane Boodram & Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble & Ilya Rozanov, Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble & Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Zane Boodram, Troy Barrett, Nick Chouinard, Evan Dykstra, Luca Haas, Holmberg (Game Changers), Young (Game Changers), Wyatt Hayes, Boyle (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble (Game Changers)

Additional Tags:

Texting, Texting Fic, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Ottawa Centaurs (Game Changers), Supportive Ottawa Centaurs (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs Player Shane Hollander, Ottawa Centaurs Group Chat (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs as Family (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs Player Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov is Obsessed With Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander is Obsessed With Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov is a Menace, Shane Hollander Is a Menace

Language:

English

Series:

Part 6 of O-Town’s Fillies Back Again

Collections:

Anonymous, Anonymous

Stats:

Published: 2026-08-04 Words: 8,564 Chapters: 1/1

Fiat 500 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Summary

Shane
How about no one jokes about you all almost dying in a plane crash?

Cap
Boooooo

Shane
Don’t boo me from next to me in bed, loser

Cap
BOOOOOOOOOOO

Another 4 months in the Centaurs team chat: Shane Hollander-Rozanov remix edition.

Notes

surprise, bitch

as always, give us a shout if you enjoyed xx

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Sunday August 19^th, 7.12am

Boyle

boys

there’s magic in the air ✨

Evan D

I FEEL IT 🙏

Nicky C

It’s riding on the wind

Whispering 🌬️

Boyle

and what is it saying, dear nicky

Nicky C

It’s saying

WE’RE WINNING THE FUCKING CUP
🥳Boyle, Hazy, Evan D

Cap

It is actually saying

Shut the fuck up is too early for the group chat

Shane

Ilya!

Cap

What???

It is 7am

On the LORD’S DAY

Haasy

Jfc why are you all awake already

Young

literally wtf

Hazy

Us old people wake up at the crack of dawn

We’ve got supermarket aisles to go and block up

Evan D

Cars to swerve onto the wrong side of the road

Boyle

mint imperials to eat
😂 Nicky C

Holmberg

cmon man!!! 😩😩

don’t give me all these setups when i’m not awake enough to land the plane
👀 Evan D

Boyle

sure you wanna stick to that metaphor bud

Holmberg

surely i get a plane joke pass for being on the plane???

Shane

How about no one jokes about you all almost dying in a plane crash?

Cap

Boooooo

Shane

Don’t boo me from next to me in bed, loser
🍅Cap

Cap

BOOOOOOOOOOO
😂Boyle

Hazy

Is this foreplay
🍅Evan D, Boyle

Actually, never mind

Nicky C

Retract that immediately

Hazy

I RETRACTED IT!

We do not want to know 💀💀

Young

fk this im going back to sleep

Bood

yo

Cap

Morning, dear 💋

Bood

morning darling 💋

why are we all up so early

i know i’m up because cass is up with reflux

and that is the rule
😭Boyle, Cap

Haasy

That is adorable

King of healthy relationships

Cap

I am right here

Evan D

8 year situationship says what?
😶Nicky C, Boyle

Cap

Fuck

Got me there
🫵Boyle, Holmberg, Bood

Shane

That’s fair.

Worked out, though 🤷

Cap

Eh

Shane

Divorce exists, y’know?

Nicky C

OOP

Hazy

Can we actually not joke about that ❌

We cannot be the first team with married players AND divorced players

Bood

plus we love you

Hazy

Sure, that too
🤣Nicky C

Boyle

anyway

tell us more about how we’re gonna win the cup, nicky

Nicky C

I mean, how could we not??

Look at the fucking material, brother
💕Boyle

Bood

so i take it we’re all excited for practise tomorrow

Holmberg

it’s gonna be sickkkkk 🕺

Cap

Shane has been making drill suggestions

So yes, you will be sick 🤮🤮

Shane

I’m not that bad.

Cap

Sweetheart

If you were not the kindest most beautiful man I know

I would think you were a psychopath who needed to go to jail
😂Bood

Bood

message me your notes

Cap

Done

Hazy

Awaiting AC feedback...

Bood

uhh

shane, my guy

i thought you liked us
😩 Holmberg

Shane

I do! This is my standard pre-season plan

Bood

then i only have one question

what the actual fuck

Boyle

maybe i regret ever speaking

maybe 

Nicky C

So I actually think I’m coming down with something 🤮

So sad!

Evan D

Wimps

Bood

just sent you a preview of page 1

Evan D

Never mind 👀
😂Boyle, Hazy

I’m ill too

Holmberg

fuckkkkkkkkkk

Hazy

Ah shit 🚶‍♂️

If everyone venmos me, I’ll do a run to the store for epsom salts today

Bood

good plan

Troy

Wait, what did I miss

Why are we all up?

Evan D

Hollander’s been giving Cap tips on pre-season training 🥴

Troy

Oh my god

A couple of Toronto’s guys were Montreal rookies

I’ve heard the stories
💀Holmberg, Bood

Shane

Once again, I am not that bad!

Hazy

Then why has Cap gone silent??

Shane

Oh, not to do with that
😲Hazy

Evan D

Gross

Troy

Homophobic @Evan D
😂Bood

Evan D

NO!!

Just don’t want to think about my dads doing it
🤮Haasy, Holmberg, Nicky C

Shane

Did NOT mean it like that, first of all!

Secondly, please don’t call me your dad.

We’re literally the same age

Thirdly, he’s currently making breakfast because I said the d-word

Bood

lord

earth-shattering downbaddery

Boyle

incredible stuff, hollander ✏️

Shane

He’s very good at crepes 😏

Troy

@Haasy remember when you were obsessed with Canada’s golden boy? 😂

This is who he was the entire time

Haasy

Begging you to shut the fuck up
😂Troy, Bood, Evan D

Nicky C

Obsessed with us having an official Roz tamer on the team

Cap

Ah, my love is a funny haha guy 😂😂

Will not be so funny when I tell his mother that her second favourite son threatens me with divorce to get tiny pancakes

Jokes about leaving sad gay Russian orphan all alone in scary Canada

Shane

Oh my godddddd

Fine, I’m coming to make the coffee now

Troy

You know you guys can take this off the chat, right

Boyle

@Troy, shut the fuck up

this is the best entertainment i’ve had in weeks

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Monday August 20^th, 4.18pm

Hazy

Shane

You know we love you, bro

But did you come with a receipt so we can return you

Holmberg

what the fuckkkkkkkkk

never been in this much pain in my life
😭Evan D

Boyle

coming to you live from an ice bath

Nicky C

I think he’s amplified Sel’s hockey crazy

I got home limping and she went, and I quote

Good, you can all stop fucking around now and win

Cap

I resent that

Shaming her on the WAG chat, be right back
😂Boyle

Shane

I think we need to introduce Selena to my mom.

Cap

NO

ABSOLUTELY NOT
👀 Holmberg

Boyle

yeah, from what i’ve heard the universe does not need a mama h x selena collab

Haasy

Although 🤔

The power of them both could probably kill Crowell

Bood

oooooh

Cap

Now that is interesting

Troy

Keep talking

Young

hlep

Hazy

Not it 🏃

Shane

@Young, are you okay?

Haasy

He is not

I dropped him home because his new car is busted and he fell out of the passenger seat because his legs stopped working

Troy

How the fuck have you busted your car already???

Holmberg

he doesn’t want anyone to know lmaoooo
😂Troy, Bood, Haasy

Young

shutup

Cap

Bergy, bag skates on Wednesday if you do not tell us

Shane

Ilya, you can’t threaten with that.

Cap

You literally just said out loud “Damn, I want to know”
😂Bood

Shane

You still can’t threaten with that!

Holmberg

he accidentally put it in reverse instead of drive

and reversed full speed into his garage door
😂Cap, Shane, Boyle, Bood, Nicky C, Evan D, Troy

loooooooooooooool

Evan D

I CANNOT

Bood

oh brother 😩

Nicky C

Calling Troy to make a driver’s ed joke in 3, 2, 1 ☎️

Troy

Well it’s not funny if you tell them it’s coming

Holmberg

also you’re just not funny

Cap

Boys

Holmberg

sorryyy 🥺

Haasy

Anyway, yes we might need a wellness check on Young

Bood

@Boyle you’re closest

Boyle

ugh fine

let me get out this ice bath and get the feeling back in my dick first
🤢Holmberg, Haasy

Hazy

Bruh 🙅‍♂️

Troy

Ew

Boyle

don’t say ew about my dick

do you know how hurtful it is for a gay man to say ew about your dick
😂Nicky C, Evan D, Cap

Troy

...Ew
😂Cap

Boyle

everyone be a bitch to troy while i’m driving to check that young isn’t dead

Young

im ok

Bood

good job, kiddo 👍

Boyle

that’s good

now i can be a bitch to @Troy myself

Cap

I want you all to know that I am logging off

I cannot do this before season has even begun 🫩

@Shane sweetheart can you tell them off for me

Shane

Uh

Evan D

Just tell them they’re grounded or something

Shane

Can’t stress this enough

No one’s father.

Bood

you gotta just lean into it at a certain point
💯Boyle, Hazy, Nicky C

Hazy

You assumed proxy custody when you went all ‘til death do us part on Roz

Shane

Fine.

No TV for a month?

Evan D

DAMN

A MONTH??

Boyle

god, you’re going to run a family home like the fucking military one day

Cap

Don’t do this to me 😩😩
🤦‍♀️Shane, Bood, Hazy

Bood

thought you were logging off, lover boy
💀Troy, Boyle

Shane

I don’t know?? A week??

Nicky C

That’s fair

Everyone listen to Daddy
🫢Evan D, Hazy, Troy

Cap

@Nicky C bag skates
😂Evan D, Hazy, Bood, Holmberg, Young, Haasy

Nicky C

NOT LIKE THAT

Holmberg

oh my god!!!!!!

Hazy

Dead
🤣Troy

Shane

Nope, not doing this.

@Cap, tagging you in

I’m taking Anya for a run

Troy

A fucking what

Young

dude

Evan D

I mean this with so much respect

What the FUCK is wrong with you

Cap

I told you

Your father is insane

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Thursday September 6^th, 10.49am

Bood

final bbq tomorrow before the season starts

be there or be a fucking loooooser

also final one because my beautiful wife is deeply pregnant

Hazy

Lisa’s off, we’re both in
✅Bood

Nicky C

Two Chouinards on the list as well!
✅Bood

Was that last point directed at @Cap
😂Hazy, Boyle, Haasy, Shane

Evan D

Wahmbulance sirens heard across Ottawa

Cap

Fuck you
💀Young, Haasy

Shane

[image attached]

“Why does this man always want me to cry?”
😂Troy, Bood

Troy

Tough break for the Russian Menace persona
🫵Holmberg, Bood

Boyle

honestly shane, you’re going to need to make him a mother at some point

this is obscene now

Cap

Well

It will not be medg whosdfjlklytpmkgeprel;,gsflksdlsdl;sgfopgfpo

Shane

Ilya has nothing further to add to this conversation
😵Boyle

Troy

Lmaoooo

Young

idgi

Troy

LMAOOOOOOOO
😆Boyle, Cap

Shane

We’ll be there, @Bood!

Bood

but the question is, will roz make it here alive 👀

Shane

Who knows 🤷

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Friday September 14^th, 7.57pm

Evan D

I’m bored

Cait’s away, someone entertain me

Boyle

no

Evan D

Let’s play 21 questions

Boyle

again, no

Troy

I’ll play if @Cap and @Shane let us be nosy

Cap

Go away, freaks

Leave me and my husband alone

Nicky C

Seconding @Troy

I want timeline gossip

Cap

I already gave you timeline, remember?

Or did you hit your head again when I was not looking?

Nicky C

C’mooooooon

Please

Shane

Fine.

Within reason

And don’t be weird about it

Boyle

impossible for nicky 5 plates

challenge failed immediately
😳Nicky C

Cap

So now you idiots must interrupt my Friday night with my love

Great

Shane

You get a maximum of four questions as a group

Cap

Sweetheart why are you doing this

Shane

I’m feeling generous.

Cap

Can you just be generous here instead? 👅👅
🍅Troy, Hazy, Evan D, Nicky C

Evan D

BOOOOOOOOOO

Troy

Stop sexting on the work chat

Cap

I would not have to sext on work chat if you would all

LEAVE MY HUSBAND ALONE!!

Nicky C

Ignoring all of this because @Shane is being magnanimous and I want gossip

Question 1: who approached who first?

Cap

I literally told you this

Nicky C

No!! You told us that you met at Junior Worlds, not who started it

Cap

Whatever, it was Shane

Shane

Excuse the fuck out of me?

Troy

Ooh

Dicey start
👀 Nicky C

Cap

You came up to me outside and told me to stop smoking!

Shane

And in what world is that flirting?

Cap

You were very sexy while you did it
🙃Hazy

Plus you shook my hand twice

Shane

That’s literally just being polite?

Hazy

Clocking in

Nicky, you’re forgetting Roz mentioned the shower

Shane

He mentioned the fucking what now
💀Troy, Haasy, Bood, Evan D

Hazy

He was vague, don’t worry!!

But it sounds like it was him who started it

Shane

Jesus Christ.

But yes, exactly!

Cap

I would not have been so friendly in the shower if I did not suspect from the handshakes

Shane

Not sure how you reached that conclusion

Cap

First time we met

You came up to me with your beautiful eyes and said hello even though we were playing against each other and you had no reason to be kind

And you told me I was an awesome player to watch

And then when you waved goodbye your hand was in your pocket and it was so cute

So I was hoping and made an educated guess

Shane

Wait, you remember it exactly?

Cap

Duh

Day I met my husband

How could I forget?
😭Hazy, Nicky C

Evan D

How did you both circle this back around to being romantic

Nicky C

Okay, I think I’m with Shane on this one

So Cap started it

Hazy

I wanna play!

Question 2: was it weird that everyone in the world was being all 🤪THEY’RE RIVALS🤪 while all this was going on?

Troy

I mean I feel like the answer is yes, obviously

Evan D

Don’t count that question, it’s shit

Actual question 2: who said I love you first?

Nicky C

Oh that’s a good one

Hazy

Damn, that is better

Nicky C

@Cap @Shane ?

Evan D

Ffs did you actually scare them off??? 😩

Lame

Troy

Ummmm

Nicky C

@Troy what?

Boyle

boys

please use your one remaining brain cell

they’re quite obviously fucking
😂Troy

Evan D

Ughhhhhhhhh

Back to being bored I go

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Tuesday September 25^th, 8.51am

Cap

On the bus in 30 minutes please
👍Bood, Hazy, Holmberg, Young, Evan D, Troy

Bood

omw to pick up the car destroyer already

@Young be ready
👍Young

Holmberg

ok so

is it holly’s turn with the aux cord yet???

Cap

Not unless you want a yoga podcast

Haasy

They make podcasts about yoga?

Shane

I’ll send you a link!

Haasy

Oh, thanks!

Nicky C

Say what you need to say, bro
😶Boyle

Evan D

Be a big boy

Shane

??

Cap

Haas likes you very much but does not want your yoga podcast

But he is too scared to say it

Shane

Oh, that’s fine!

You can just say, Luca

It really doesn’t bother me

Hazy

No one can live through 10+ years of consistent Rozanov chirping with thin skin
💯Shane

Shane

I tend not to listen to music much

But if I’m really struggling with motivation in the gym, I do have this:

SH24 has shared a playlist with you! https://spotify,co...

Holmberg

uhhhh

what the fuck????

Young

yo holly this is fire 🔥🔥

@Bood im ready

Haasy

Now THIS I will take gladly

Troy

Wait how the fuck do you have the babies on board

Bood

ok i’ve put it on in the car

this is sick wtf
🔥Holmberg, Hazy

Cap

What???

You have literally never shown me this

Shane

I don’t use it much!

Just when I need it

Cap

Sweetheart

This is better than any playlist I have ever made us

Shane

I’m glad you all like it!

Hazy

Maneater?? Ayo Technology?? GASOLINA CLUB MIX?? 🔥🔥🔥

Boyle

this is the bus playlist from now on

argue with the wall

Bood

@Young i thought you said you were fucking ready

Nicky C

You are so mysterious, Hollander

Shane

I mean, it’s pretty straightforward

I have it ordered so that the BPM matches each part of my workout.

So it starts with warmup, then cardio, then back down for weights, etc

That way, I can play it straight through without skipping!

Cap

God 😩😩

I am fucking obsessed with you

Troy

No one look him in the eyes on the bus
😂Nicky C, Bood, Holmberg, Haasy

He’s going to be rabid

Cap

Can you blame me Jesus fucking Christ 🥵

Evan D

Don’t answer that! It’s a trick

Holmberg

all those in favour of bumping gasolina full volume so we can drown out the back row????
💀Boyle, Nicky C, Hazy, Evan D

Boyle

motion carried

Shane

That will not be necessary!!

Cap

Yes it will
😂Troy, Boyle

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Wednesday September 26^th, 11.16pm

Boyle

mr hollander, sir

having reflected on it

kindly explain what the fuck that nastyyyyyy goal was in the second 💀💀
🥵Nicky C, Bood

Shane

Well, it’s pretty simple.

You just let Dallas be absolutely dogshit at their jobs, and it all sort of falls into place from there

Evan D

SPICY

Hazy

Oh I know Roz is on his fucking KNEES right now

Not literally!

Or maybe literally, do you
😂Boyle

Troy

#lovewins

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Wednesday October 10^th, 8.57pm

Cap

We are all clear on roles tomorrow, yes?

Nicky C

Yessir

Bood

affirmative

Holmberg

reporting for duty as the little chihuahua biting laine’s ankles for 60 minutes!!! 🫡
😂Troy, Boyle

Young

lets fucking gooooo

Shane

We don’t need to play dirty against them.

I’d rather we just got the win

Evan D

We see you and we hear you

But we raise you this:

We beat Montreal AND we send all of them to hospital forever
💯Nicky C, Holmberg, Young

Cap

Good plan, I like it

Shane

I’m serious

I really appreciate it, but winning will be more than enough for me

Boyle

we can do both

Nicky C

Also Holly, I think you’re forgetting

If they fuck with one of us, they fuck with all of us
❤️Cap

Haasy

What he said

Bood

as your ac it is my job to agree with shane and remind you all that we want the win

but as your friend, shane, we’re fucking killing them dude

Cap

Annoyingly, spare Pike again

I like his wife

Shane

You like Hayden.

Cap

Ah yes, man who outed me and my love to the entire world for the low low price of a $50 birthday video
🙃Boyle, Nicky C

My best friend

Bood

@Cap take that back
👀Holmberg

Shane

You like him, and you like his kids

Cap

I do like his kids

Ruby is a little goblin who I think will be Prime Minister one day

And Arthur eats paint but is still smarter than Pike

Troy

Fine, we’ll spare Pike

Boiziau?

Cap

Unbothered

Shane

Ilya!

Leave JJ out of whatever you’re planning, please.

Cap

Hmm

Shane

Ilya, he apologized

Cap

He was still a dick to you

I do not have to be completely fine with this

Hazy

So I’m hearing maybe a love tap

Nicky C

A gentle nudge
👊Young

Shane

Guys, please.

Bood

look, we’ll lay off if you really want us to

but every single one of us wants their asses mown down for how they treated you

Evan D

I’ve been working on some great ‘fumbling the bag’ material too

It’s crasser than that, but you get the idea

Haasy

I heard some of it earlier

It really is very crass 🫨

Evan D

What can I say? I’m a poet

Troy

We all want to fuck them up for it, Shane

Shane

And I’m grateful, but I promise that I’m okay.

From what I’ve heard, they’re pretty fucked as it is

Young

sucks to be them

Shane

So we just need to be better

Cap

We are better
🙂‍↕️Haasy, Holmberg, Boyle

Shane

Okay, so we prove it, right?

Boyle

but i’ve been working on my french for renaud

bonjour, whore

Troy

It’s literally like you want your teeth knocked out

Boyle

i’ve told nic to take me to turkey for my 35^th

i can get the hollywood smile then
😁Haasy

Hazy

@Shane what’s the verdict then?

Shane

I’m not your captain or your AC, so I can’t tell you what to do

But we don’t win with half the team in the penalty box.

Bood

so a clean game?

Cap

He did not say that

Just do not get the penalties

Holmberg

ayoooooooooo!!!! 🕺🕺

Shane

Boys

Evan D

Give into it, Holly

You’re our Helen of Troy

Boyle

the stick handling that launched a thousand pucks
🏒Evan D, Bood, Cap, Haasy

Nicky C

Throw down your favour at my feet and I will joust to the death

Troy

That was intense

Young

i learned mma over summer if that helps

Evan D

@Young Umm what????
😵‍💫Nicky C

Haasy

He’s actually really fucking good

Nicky C

Well dang, alright then John Wick

@Shane, won’t you allow this wee child a chance to show off his new skills?

Holmberg

cmonnnnnnn

Cap

Sweetheart?

Shane

I am not endorsing anything other than a clean win.

Hazy

Damn

Shane

But Drapeau has a shoulder tear that never healed properly, Laine favours his left because he’s got terrible peripheral vision on the right, Renaud is easier rattled than he lets on, and Comeau is recovering from an ACL strain he thought no one knew about.

Goodnight

Boyle

god i fucking love you, dude
❤️Cap, Bood, Holmberg, Troy, Haasy

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Thursday October 11^th, 6.23pm

Hazy

Zane Boodram

Your skates are made of gold

Nicky C

Sexiest man alive 🥵🥵

Cap

You beautiful, beautiful boy

If we were both not married and in love I would steal you away

Bood

thank you one, thank you all

it’s what i do
🔥Holmberg, Haasy

Shane

I know we don’t know each other that well yet

But what Ilya said.
🫨Boyle

Cap

HELLO???
😂Boyle, Bood, Nicky C, Haasy, Troy

Shane

You said it first!

Bood

i would treat you so well, holly

you’d never want for anything

Shane

I’m listening... 😏

Bood

give me one chance
😂Boyle, Haasy

Cap

Not funny

Troy

Very funny, keep going

Evan D

Honestly, I see the vision!

Nicky C

What a gorgeous couple you’d make

Haasy

Boodander? Hollram?

Holmberg

boodander hive rise up!!!
🙋‍♂️Evan D, Bood

Cap

Just so I am clear

You all know that I know where you live, yes?

You know that I know who pays your bills?

Young

staying out of this

Bood

holly, tell me more about what you liked about my moves 😏

Shane

Great speed.

Perfect check on Comeau.

Fantastic goal in the third.

Bood

it was all for you

Cap

Boody, please

Evan D

Cough competency kink cough
😶Haasy, Nicky C

Shane

Good god

Troy

Hate to break up the fun

But Cap just disappeared from the locker room

Nicky C

Lock your fucking car doors, Dykstra

LOCK THEM NOWWWW

Hazy

This just in: half-naked screaming Russian spotted running through the parking lot with a gun
💀Bood, Haasy

Haasy

Everyone find a hiding place right now 🏃🏃

Young

cap pls remebmer i said nothing 

Bood

he wouldn’t dare

not when i’m about to become a father

Shane

Yeah, you’re safe.

I think the rest of you need to make a break for it though

Nicky C

You’re the only one with the power to stop this, Holly!!

Haasy

Please save us 🙏

Troy

He won’t

Holmberg

why????????

Troy

Because, speaking on all matters gay

He likes it
👀Nicky C

Boyle

what did i miss

oh god what have you idiots done

surely you know by now that these two are as freaky as each other

Nicky C

Boys, I think he’s found me

Helpdfgnjkdsfd

Hazy

RIP Nicky

You would have loved meat feast pizza
🪦Holmberg, Haasy

Evan D

He was the best of us

Cap

@Evan D You are next

Evan D

FUCK

Holmberg

shane please!!!! 😩

Shane

Fine.

@Cap Ilya, I’d like to go home

Can you please stop killing our teammates?

Cap

Coming now, sweetheart

Haasy

We will remember your mercy

Bood

we’ll always have paris, shane

Holmberg

stop antagonizing him!!!!!!!

Troy

Big word for Elmo

Holmberg

sorry, forgot you were there when the word was invented
🫢Boyle

Troy

Motherfucker

Shane

I am officially calling time on this conversation.

Everyone go home

Nicky C

Yes Papa

Hazy

He lives!!

Evan D

And you really think you’re not our dad smh
😂Haasy, Holmberg

Cap

You are lucky that I do what your father tells me @Evan D

Next time you will not be so fortunate

Shane

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Boyle

i think we all learned a valuable lesson today

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Sunday October 21^st, 12.11pm

Haasy

[image attached]

I’m at the mall and @Cap this feels very you
❤️Cap

Cap

I LOVE IT

Can you buy it and I will venmo??
👍Haasy

Hazy

That is absolutely outrageous

Boyle

every now and then i forget you’re european

and then you remind me so violently

Troy

I didn’t know they made shirts with that many patterns on them

Nicky C

Wasn’t aware that slutty party magician was in this season
🤣Holmberg

Haasy

What size do you want @Cap?

Cap

Large please

Shane

Medium
👀Troy

Boyle

wow

uno reverse on the terminal horniness

Hazy

Not sure it’s dignified to have quite that much tit out but okay

Troy

I think that’s the point

Cap

You heard my husband @Haasy

Medium please

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Thursday October 25^th, 4.55pm

Holmberg

does everyone have their outfits for the party???

Boyle

yes ma’am

well, nic is going as lara croft and i am going as the world’s most turned on husband 🥵

Shane

Ah fuck, I forgot to tell her

@Boyle when she’s home, tell Nic that Rose said to do the second hairstyle she sent

Troy

That’s actually super crazy because Angelina Jolie told me she preferred the first
💀Bood

What the fuck is your life, Holly

Hazy

Just unbelievable scenes

Shane

You were literally all at the wedding with her?

Evan D

Yeah and we all felt like a pervert genie granted us a wish
😂Shane

Shane

Oh, she’ll love this.

Cap

Do not tell Rose Landry all the Centaurs think she is sexy

She will get ideas
🤦‍♂️Shane

Shane

Once again

Very gay, very married

Boyle

not gay, but you’ve all seen nic’s ass
🔥Cap

no offence meant to rose

Shane

That’s totally fair

It’s a great ass.

Nicky C

Uhh???

Shane

Oh, Nic knows

I’ve told her!

She sends me photos every now & then.
⁉️Nicky C, Young

Troy

@Cap thoughts?

Cap

None

I am scared of Nicole

She possesses a sexual charisma that could be a weapon if she put it in the wrong hands

Boyle

i am the luckiest man alive

Haasy

Cap/Shane, are you doing a couple’s costume?

Shane

No, we are not

Evan D

Tbf you didn’t strike me as the type

But sad to see Roz going stag!

Cap

No, I am doing couple’s costume
🤔Nicky C, Troy, Hazy

Holmberg

whattttt…

Shane

I said that WE’RE not.

Bood

ding dong

someone rang for me

Cap

They want spoilers, dear

Bood

they won’t get them

you’ll all just have to be blinded on the night

Nicky C

@Shane do we need to reserve a seat at the cuck table for you?
💀Haasy, Holmberg, Young, Boyle

Shane

Before I Google, someone tell me if I want to know.
😶Haasy

Cap

No, sweetheart

Holmberg

quickly before i forget!!

everyone needs to remember to bring a cup

Boyle

what

Evan D

Jesus Christ, why did we let the babies host Halloween

Troy

You don’t have CUPS???

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Tuesday November 14^th, 8.02am

Nicky C

AYOOO

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TROYBOYYYY 🎉🎉🎉

Haasy

Happy bday Troy! 🎂

Boyle

hb sexy 🎉

Cap

Happy birthday!

Your present is you get to see my beautiful face in 3 hours
🙄Troy, Shane

Troy

Thanks boys!

Holmberg

preparing 65 birthday beats for you as we speak xxxx

Troy

It’s so funny how you think I won’t kill you

Holmberg

i took your jazzy scooter off of charge after you went to sleep at 4pm

so good luck catching me!
🙄Cap

Shane

@Troy, I hate to state the obvious

But I think he’ll only do it while he gets a reaction out of you.

Also, happy birthday! 🎂

Holmberg

don’t blow up my spot hollyyyyyy

Cap

Get a less annoying spot then
💯Hazy, Bood

Hazy

FELICIDADES BROTHER 🥳

Any fun plans?

Troy

Well, I’ll fuck up Bergy’s jaw at practise again which will be enjoyable

And then H is taking me for dinner this evening!

Cap

Ah, young love
👴🏻Holmberg, Haasy

Troy

You are not even a year older than me, and H & I have been together for over a year

Cap

And I am married and have been in love with my husband for a decade
😘Shane

So yes, young love

Nicky C

Insufferableeeeeeee

Bood

important question is

did you get any good gifts

Troy

Wouldn’t you like to know
👀 Nicky C, Holmberg 

Evan D

HEYO

Get it boy 😏

Cap

I know what one of the gifts is

You are welcome, by the way 👅👅

Hazy

??????

Shane

Ilya!

Troy

Please don’t let it be the one I’m thinking of
🫢Hazy, Evan D

Cap

What, you think my Shane knew which one to suggest to Harris??
😂Boyle, Nicky C

Troy

Oh my god

I didn’t know Shane suggested anything to Harris

Shane

ILYA

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Boyle

please tell me this is real and i am not hallucinating this conversation

Nicky C

This is the best day of my life 😂😂

Troy

Cool so that’s never coming out of the box

Cap

Well that is a waste

Is very fun

Although anything above setting 4 is very intense

Shane

Rozanov

Get downstairs now.

Evan D

RUH ROH 🙊

Holmberg

our dads are fighting again 😔😔

Boyle

damn

got so mad he lost the double-barrel

Bood

well, i will see you all for what will be an incredibly awkward practise at 11!
🫠Hazy

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Friday November 24^th, 10.33am

Bood

right

ahead of the game

@Shane what’s the 411 on the admirals?

Evan D

Pls give us Mama H’s debrief 🙏

Nicky C

What does that glorious brain of yours see before it, Holly 🔮

Shane

Give me a level of detail.

Mom’s already sent me her thoughts

Haasy

She’s the GOAT fr

Cap

The voicenote was 19 minutes long

Evan D

DAMN

Bood

hmm

medium detail, maybe?

feel like we’re pretty set on strategy, so maybe weak spots

Holmberg

anything on jalo will be deeply appreciated!!!!
💯Troy

Troy

I’ll second that

Shane

Okay

I think Vaughan got injured worse in the game against Tampa than he’s let on, because he’s been skating a bit more carefully since then.

Maybe his ribs? Seems less inclined to move in for anything confrontational

So I reckon pressure on him is an easy weak spot

Nicky C

Duly noted ✏️

Evan D

Great shout

Shane

Can’t see much on Jalo, in truth

He’s putting in a solid shift at the moment.

Mom thinks he’s someone they could swap around depending on tactics, so @Cap and @Bood perhaps worth preparing for a few situations?

Bood

gotcha!

Cap

Thank you, sweetheart!

Most intelligent man in the world 🥰🥰

Boyle

restrain yourself, brother
🖕Cap

Evan D

Anything on Hunter?

Cap

His bones are too brittle to survive much

You must handle him like old fossil they display in the Natural History Museum
💀Bood, Hazy, Young

Holmberg

isn’t he deadass 4 years older than you lmaooooo
🫢Haasy

Cap

Never say this to me again

Shane

Well, his ice time has been pretty decent thus far.

But it’s a late game and the retirement home’s curfew is 8pm
😂Cap

Bood

i am dead at that

Haasy

Lmfaoooooo

Nicky C

Omg NOT YOU TOO HOLLY

Boyle

did you combine fundamental parts of your personality when you took each other’s surnames

Shane

You forget that we’ve known each other since we were teenagers.

I think we’ve subconsciously swapped a lot over the years
💕Hazy, Bood

I got chirping old people, Ilya got an appreciation for matching organizational storage

Cap

Showing me tupperware is foreplay at this point

Shane

I ordered more of the glass ones with the bamboo lids, by the way.

They’ve expanded the range so I’ve got tall ones for granola now

Cap

Fucking Christ
🤢Troy

Labelled?

Shane

Already done.

Cap

Fuckkkk

Haasy

My eyes omg 🤮

Bood

okay

before we have to bear witness to any more of this

@Shane anything else?

Cap

@Shane forward Yuna’s voicenote and just get here please

Show me the fucking granola right now
🤮Bood, Evan D, Nicky C

Shane

[voice note attached, duration: 19mins 24secs]

Evan D

Doing my best to ignore that and listening now

Fuck me she is not taking prisoners

@Holmberg you’re getting torched baby

Holmberg

NOOO!!!

what did i do to mrs hollander plsss 😟

Nicky C

I mean, she’s making valid points

But goddamn

Haasy

We need to get her in a room with Coach

Shane

[voice note attached, duration: 36secs]
🫨Haasy, Holmberg

Bood

@Shane LOCK YOUR PHONE

YOU HAVEN’T LOCKED YOUR PHONE

@Shane PUT IT DOWN

Troy

OH MY GOD

Nicky C

And I’m out 👋

Boyle

jesus wept

there are some things that cannot be forgotten

Evan D

Taking volunteers to lobotomize me immediately

Like literally whoever is nearest 😩😩😩

Troy

How in the fuck did you idiots hide this for a decade?

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Friday November 24^th, 11.04am

Shane

OH MY GOD

I’M SO SORRY

Nicky C

I just cannot understand how it escalated that quickly

Troy

Like literally, how

Boyle

please don’t take the lack of eye contact tonight personally

we’ll just need 2-3 business weeks to unhear that
🫠Haasy

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Saturday December 6^th, 2.14pm

Bood

sorry for dipping practise boys

Cap

Is everything okay??

@Bood ?

Bood

at the hospital

baby boodlet is on his way to making an earlier arrival than anticipated
🎉Holmberg, Young, Nicky C, Troy

all going well so far but quite stressed

so @Shane any ilya crying content will be a treat for both of us right now

Hazy

OMG!!!!!!!!!

IT’S HAPPENING! 🚨🚨

Boyle

holy shitttttt

daddy bood incoming!!

Haasy

@Bood how is Cassie doing??

Bood

@Haasy hanging in there, thanks kiddo ❤️

she’s a fucking champion

Nicky C

HOLY SHIT

Just told Sel, we’re sorting you out with a week of meal prep as we speak

Shane

Oh my god!

Send Cass my love, Bood
❤️Bood

Also:

[video attached]
😂Bood

I have a feeling this will be us for a while.

Nicky C

Never in my whole life have I seen a grown man cry like that

Bood

she says thank you @Shane

we will treasure that video forever

Shane

@Nicky C If you do fresh prep, I’ll take frozen for week 2?
👍Nicky C

Boyle

nic’s baking 3 cheesecakes as we speak

Haasy

@Holmberg @Young meet me at the fucking mall, we’re going baby clothes shopping
💰Young

Young

yessssssssssssssssssss

lfg baby bood!!!!

Holmberg

On it

Absolutely unmatched levels of swag incoming for Baby Boodlet

Bood

i fucking love you all so much
💕Troy, Nicky C, Evan D, Holmberg, Shane

Haasy

We love you back

Evan D

So proud of you both!!!

Shane

Shout if you need anything, Bood

I’ve wiped our calendar for the weekend

Bood

this will sound kind of crazy

Shane

I think we’ll allow you a pass on this one.

What can we do?

Bood

roz has a spare key to my place

he’s early so i haven’t put together the fucking crib yet

Shane

Done!

I’ve helped Hayden put together more kids beds than you could count.

Give me 5 minutes to peel my husband off the floor and we’ll get it sorted

Bood

thank you, seriously ❤️

Shane

No thanks necessary

@Boyle @Hazy meet us there for a bit of extra muscle?
👍Boyle, Hazy

Boyle

getting in the car now

Hazy

Omw

@Bood Lisa’s on shift, text her your room and she’ll come in for a bit of support

Hazy has shared a contact with you: Dr. Wife

Troy

Harris and I are coming to clean the place too
👍Shane

Bood

thank you boys

Cap

I have told Wiebe

You are scratched for the rest of the month

Bood

that’s all you’ve got to say when your godson is on his way?
😭Troy, Evan D, Hazy

Evan D

Okay I might actually cry now

Shane

[image attached]

Make that 10 minutes.
😂Bood

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Sunday December 7^th, 00.23am

Bood

[3 images attached]

babies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to the newest centaur
❤️Cap, Shane, Evan D, Nicky C, Troy, Boyle, Holmberg, Young, Haasy

milo christopher boodram

he is perfect and his mother is a fucking saint

Holmberg

BOODDDDDDDDDD

congratulations!!!! 🥳

Nicky C

Oh he’s gorgeous, brother

Give Cassie a kiss from us all
😘Bood

Hazy

Crying

Troy

Congratulations man! He’s perfect 💕

Haasy

Big up Cassie, absolute fucking g

Bood

@Haasy you can say that again

Haasy

ABSOLUTE FUCKING G
💯Holmberg, Young

Shane

Oh, Zane

He’s beautiful ❤️

Congratulations!

Cassie doing okay?

Bood

wonderfully, thanks man
❤️Shane

Young

damn that is a baby
🤦Boyle

Nicky C

@Young You got it!

Troy

You’re so right

Holmberg

@Young bruh

Evan D

That is indeed a baby

Young

meant to say a cute baby!!!!!

congrats man

Bood

cracking up

cheers boys

Boyle

@Shane dare we ask about roz?
😂Evan D, Nicky C

Shane

Currently sobbing on the sofa.

Give him a couple of minutes

Bood

big old softie

@Cap fancy meeting your godson tmrw?
😭Hazy, Nicky C, Haasy

Cap

Yes please

Hazy

‘Atta boy

Cap

He is stunning, Boody

I am so proud of you and Cassie

And I love you both very much

Boyle

that is way more than i was expecting given the state of him this afternoon

@Bood we had to call evan for backup because roz couldn’t read the crib manual from crying too hard

Shane

Yeah, I had to type that

Evan D

Damn, love broke that dude fr 😭😭

Bood

@Cap love you brother

Shane

Don’t think you’re getting much else out of him tonight

He’s currently cradling Anya like a baby.
🥹Hazy

Troy

If it wasn’t physically way more difficult than any other married couple here

I’d put you two down to be next with an announcement
😭Bood, Nicky C

Shane

Yeah

I know

Cap

@Bood love you, my prince

I want you all to know that Shane is crying now

Evan D

I hope Milo is ready to have 9 loser uncles

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Friday December 13^th, 11.48am

Boyle

@Troy can you tell harris nic’s coming over for apples tomorrow

she smashed her phone (again) so can’t text the wag chat

Troy

Done

He says to just let him know, whenever is good
👍Boyle

Bood

what the hell is wrong with that woman and her phone

Boyle

when you find out, let me know

it’s like her hand is allergic to it

Nicky C

Oh my god

Is it cinnamon apple cake szn??? 🎉🎉

Boyle

it surely is boys

Cap

FUCK YES 🤩

Put Shane & I down for 2 and send me the perfume she likes
👍Boyle

Boyle

done

Evan D

Ooh we’ll do one to take to Cait’s parents, please and thanks
👍Boyle

Holmberg

i’ll take one please!!!
👍Boyle

Hazy

@Holmberg are you still pretending that you’ve baked it when you go to your grandma’s

Holmberg

sure am 🙊

Evan D

Someone call the fire brigade

I smell singed Calvin Kleins

Haasy

Deceit of the elderly is a real low dude

Shane

Who’s lying to Scott Hunter?
💀Hazy, Bood, Holmberg, Young

Troy

OOP

Nicky C

The Maple Menace strikes again!! 🍁

Shane

I beg your pardon?

Hazy

The babies decided that the equally cheeky husband of the Russian Menace required an equally cheeky nickname

Shane

That feels like it’s doing a lot of Canadian stereotyping

I don’t even like maple syrup

Holmberg

sorry aboot that!!!
😆Boyle

Cap

Shane cannot track the macros so he does not eat it

Shane

Well, I’m very sorry for caring about our diets

We’re in our thirties now!

Cap

No I am not

Shane

Yes, you are.

👀Young

Cap

Nope

I will be a beautiful Russian with an 8-pack in my 20s forever

Shane

Sure thing baby

Nicky C

UMMMMMM 👀👀👀
🫨Boyle, Haasy

Troy

SURE THING WHO NOW??

Evan D

🚨 ILYA HOLLANDER-ROZANOV IS BABY CONFIRMED 🚨

Shane

Oh my god

Shane has left the group chat.

Boyle has added Shane to the group chat.

Shane has left the group chat.

Boyle has added Shane to the group chat.

Boyle

not so fast, hollander

Hazy

Nooo, come back baby!!
💀Troy, Bood, Boyle, Evan D, Nicky C

Shane has left the group chat.

Cap has added Shane to the group chat.

Cap

Please come back, sweetheart

The boys have promised never to mention it again

Nicky C

No the fuck we did not

Cap

Is so funny

Because when I said “boys if you ever mention this again and my Shane gets even a little bit embarrassed I will have you traded to beer league and I will also slash your tyres and I do not know where from yet but I will also buy a gun”

You said it would not come up

Hazy

Nervously laughing 😶

Cap

Do you remember now Nicky?

Nicky C

Oh yeah, that’s ringing a bell

Evan D

I actually forgot how to read so I have no idea what’s ever been said on this chat 🙃

Troy

No hablo ingles

Cap

Yes

I am glad we all agree

Shane

@Cap come upstairs please

Holmberg

jfc
😳Haasy

Bood

will you two fucking cool it 💀

it’s a school day!!!

Boyle

we need to know less about our dads banging
💯Troy

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Wednesday December 18^th, 6.09pm

Bood

absolutely zero of you are ready for the santa onesie cassie’s mom bought milo 🎅

Haasy

Nah this has gotta constitute emotional warfare on @Cap at this point
😂Shane, Troy, Holmberg, Young

Nicky C

Odds on Roz becoming a flight risk in his own home
👌Haasy

Troy

Very high, safe bet

Boyle

put me down for 50 on him locking himself in a bathroom

Shane

Fair warning, @Bood

He’s been muttering under his breath about the ethics of stealing a baby

Bood

to be fair, we thought we were gonna have to chase him down when you came over on monday

Shane

It was touch and go.

Cap

I am simply a very passionate godfather

Nicky C

That’s what he wants you to think
😳Bood, Hazy

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Thursday December 19^th, 9.55pm

Bood

police alerted to an absolute murder committed in toronto 🚨

@Haasy you were sensational tonight kiddo
🏆Boyle, Nicky C, Troy

Haasy

Aw thanks ❤️

Holmberg

@Bood you watched???

Bood

of course

couldn’t miss watching my boys destroy those fuckers

Cap

Boody is right

Luca, you played brilliantly
❤️Haasy

Your papa is very proud of you

Holmberg

and his other dad???? 👀👀

Shane

You were great!

Bood

give it up holly

say it 🫵

Holmberg

do it do it do it

Nicky C

I feel like tonight is the night 🙏

Evan D

It’s coming

Shane

Just this once, because it’s Christmas

Luca, your other dad is also very proud of you.

Holmberg

WE GOT HIM BOYS!!!!
😂Bood, Troy, Young, Cap

Haasy

Best day ever 💃

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Friday December 20^th, 10.02am

Cap

Listen up fuckers

Christmas party starts tonight at 7.30
🎉Haasy, Hazy, Troy, Boyle

We will have lots of snacks and drinks but bring what you like

And by that I mean Nicky bring 10 of everything to make up for how much you eat
✏️Nicky C

Nicky C

Noted

LET’S GET LITTTT 🍻🍻

Boyle

nic is bringing cheesecake, apple cake + mulled wine

Evan D

That woman is the saviour of Christmas 🎅

Haasy

Fr

The mulled wine is nuclear tho

Boyle

yeah you all need to line your stomachs this year

she’s spiked it
😳Holmberg

Cap

Oh my god

What else could she possibly put in it

Boyle

spiced rum, apparently

it’s her best yet, but i’m going to be wearing sunglasses inside for days

Troy

@Shane do you need anything else picked up?

Shane

I think we’re good, thanks!

Oh actually

Do you think it’s too late for me to get in an order for some cider? I want to get my dad some as a gift.

Troy

No sweat, I’ll load a couple of cases in

Evan D

PAY YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIEND, DUDE 👏

Troy

HE WON’T FUCKING TAKE IT, DUDE 👏

Shane

I’m just going to transfer him something and hope he doesn’t notice.

Hazy

@Shane Lisa has been trying the gluten free stuff you suggested

She’s made some awesome pastries if you want them over?

Shane

Ooh, yes please!

Cap

Christmas Shane has arrived!!!

Love of my life

Well, love of my life along with all other Shanes 😘

Hazy

😭😭😭

Bood

and who the hell is christmas shane 🤔

Shane

Ilya thinks he’s funny. I just take a few days off the diet over the holidays

Cap

Is my favourite time of year

I feed him chocolates in bed like Cleopatra
😏Boyle

Fan him with a wreath instead of palm leaf

Evan D

Damn, need that 🤤

Holmberg

taking suggestions for the surprise liquor!!!

Troy

Well then it’s not a surprise, is it

Shane

Nothing peppermint or Ilya will puke
🫢Haasy, Holmberg, Evan D

Cap

Sweetheart!!! ☹️

Hazy

Stop it omg

Shane

Last Christmas Eve, he had three glasses of schnapps and then threw them up in my mom’s bathroom.

Boyle

chundering at the in-laws is tragic, brother 🤦‍♂️

Cap

Yuna was trying to poison me

Shane

She literally hid the bottle after the first two and you found it for the third glass.

Cap

Was reverse psychology
💀Troy, Bood

Young

@Cap @Shane

Cap

Yes, Young

Young

is it too late to bring a +1
🚨Boyle

Hazy

Oh my god????

Haasy

Wait bro did you actually lock it down

Nicky C

Our baby is in love???? 👶

Young

i mean kinda

her name is stacey
🥰Hazy, Evan D, Nicky C

Cap

Why do I not know about Stacey???

Tell me everything right now

Shane

Ilya, chill out.

@Young, you are very welcome to bring Stacey

Young

thnks

shes rly fking cool
❤️Shane

Haasy

She’s also way too hot for him

Holmberg

seconded!!!

Evan D

Send a photo immediately

Young

[image attached]

Nicky C

WHAT THE FUCK KIDDO?? 😲

Bood

holy shit young

Shane

Goddamn.
👀Hazy, Holmberg, Nicky C

Hazy

Help????
😂Haasy, Troy, Nicky C

Shane

I’m gay but I have eyes @Hazy

Cap

He is right

Jesus Christ, kid

Shane

Tell us about her!

Young

intl human rights law postgrad

met her at a cooking class

Troy

The lore drops we have got from you this season are insane man 🤯

Bood

is it serious?

Young

think so

shes amazing
😭Cap, Bood

Nicky C

Proud of you buddy!!
❤️Young

Evan D

Can’t wait to meet her
❤️Young

Boyle

i would like to return to the cooking classes

Holmberg

we’ve been taking them together!!!

after you all dragged us for having shit diets we decided to get it together

turns out i’m fucking great at grilling 💪

Bood

watch yourself @Holmberg

Haasy

He’s shit at bread though

I’m pretty good with pasta
👑Holmberg

Troy

Have I literally fallen down a wormhole 🫠

Shane

That’s really cool, guys

Let me know if you want any recipes!

Hazy

This Hallmark ass team ffs 🤦‍♂️

Cap

Do I need to give Stacey the shovel talk?
😂Shane

Or do you need birds & bees?

Young

bro plssss

can u all be cool tonight

Boyle

not for a second

deal with it

Haasy

Please look at who you’re talking to
😂Cap, Bood, Hazy

Cap

I have lots of condoms I can give you

Shane

ILYA

Cap

Is not like we are usinklthjny56okytoo
🤐Haasy, Troy

Nicky C

Man, the foot in mouth disease you have is TERMINAL 💀💀

Evan D

@Shane for Christmas I’m buying you duct tape

Shane

Much appreciated. 🙄

Cap

Cannot believe our children are all grown up 🥹

Bood

our boys have become men

Holmberg

still not in the grave like @Troy tho

Troy

Fucking say that to my face

Cap

Never mind

Nicky C

I do think I’d pay good money to see Roz give a birds & bees talk tho

Boyle

as if he could get through it without crying
😆Hazy, Haasy, Troy

Evan D

He’d 100% relate it back to Holly somehow

Bood

“you must only do these things if you love them as much as i love my shane”
😂Shane, Haasy, Troy, Hazy

Holmberg

wait omgggg

@Cap @Shane did you guys get the shovel talk??

Cap

Well

The ghost of my father did not call Shane a slur in Russian
👀Troy

So he did not, no

Shane

I never actually asked my parents, you know

Did you get one?

Cap

Not really

Your mother gave me shovel eyes the whole first day we met if that counts
😂Troy, Hazy, Bood

Troy

I’m dying

Evan D

Shovel eyes??? 😂

Shane

She did not!

Cap

Sweetheart, she absolutely did

You had to remind her 4 times to call me by my first name

Shane

In fairness to her, I don’t think I’d ever called you by your first name to her face before

Cap

True

All worked out anyway
🥰Bood

She has a new favourite son who always buys better Christmas gifts

Bood

that is fighting talk

Shane

It’s actually not, he’s totally right

She rang me the other day, and when I picked up she just said “Ilya wasn’t answering his phone, can you pass me over?”

Nicky C

That is COLD omgggg 🥶

Cap

We have been rewatching Game of Thrones together and she needed to debrief

Hazy

Pay attention, @Young

This is the in-law relationship we are all striving for ☝️

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈
Saturday December 21^st, 2.18pm

Cap

Okay

I cannot take it anymore

Stacey????

Nicky C

Oh thank GOD someone said it!!

She’s AMAZING @Young
❤️Cap, Shane

Bood

she’s gonna do great in bbq season
👏Evan D, Nicky C

Boyle

she’s so cool, kiddo

you did good! 💕

Young

yh she kinda is

thnks!

Evan D

I absolutely need to know how she saw your ass and went “yeah, that’s the guy”
💀Troy, Bood, Nicky C

Shane

Mean!

Although I’m guessing she hadn’t seen you text before you asked her out.
💀 Cap, Hazy, Haasy

Troy

I always knew you were a bitch
😂Cap, Bood, Hazy

Cap

The bitchiest

Shane

Am not!
🤨Cap

Cap

Sweetheart

Please be serious
😆Evan D, Troy

Hazy

I mean this as the world’s biggest compliment

Shane, you are a HUGE bitch

Haasy

It surprised me too, bro

Bood

bitch x loser marriage confirmed
‼️Haasy, Boyle

Cap

BOODY?? 🫨

Bood

pinterest, cries constantly, dog dad, sucks at mario kart, obsessed with craft stores

you’re a loser man, own it

Shane

You are, sorry baby 😘

Cap

And YOU are a bitch

Most beautiful gorgeous one in the world ❤️

Hazy

Oh so we’re really rocking with ‘baby’ on the main chat???
👀Bood, Holmberg, Nicky C

Shane

I’ve decided I don’t care anymore

Boyle

please do go on

Holmberg

?????

Shane

Well, a year ago I was scared to even mention being gay in the locker room.

And last night I had my entire team over for a Christmas party after they attended my wedding.
😭Hazy

So fuck it

My husband is baby on the work chat
😭Cap

Evan D

HELL FUCKING YEAH!!! 🎉

Nicky C

I know that’s fucking RIGHT

Haasy

Legend behaviour

Troy

Proud of you, dude
❤️Cap

Cap

And now I am loser who is crying again

Great

Holmberg

LOSERRRR 🫵🫵

Boyle

@Young are you ready to drop stacey in this glorious nonsense for the long haul

Young

oh yh

she didnt even tell u about being a party rep in ibiza last night

Hazy

WE’RE KEEPING HER FOREVER
👍Bood, Boyle, Evan D

Shane

I need to hear about that

Ilya & I are planning a trip next year

By the way, he threw up again after you left.

So @Holmberg, we need to scratch Apple Sourz off the list too
😂Holmberg

Cap

Children

Your father is such a bitch