Rating:

Not Rated

Archive Warning:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Hayden Pike

Additional Tags:

Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Crack, Humor, Social Media, reddit, Comedy

Language:

English

Series:

Part 5 of reddit verse

Stats:

Published: 2026-02-16 Words: 1,100 Chapters: 1/1

Hayden Pike's Reddit History

Summary

montrealbaddie: 2 minutes ago
theyre calling montreal the worst power play of all time

Hayden_Pike: 2 minutes ago
Who is they?

montrealbaddie: 1 minute ago
shane hollander told me himself.

-

Hayden: Shane… I’m hurt

Shane: ??

Notes

i needed to do a hayden pike version of this i just had to

Hayden: So.

Hayden: Funny story.

Shane: I never like it when you start conversations with that.

Shane: Hang on, one moment

Shane Hollander has added Ilya Rozanov to the conversation

Shane: Okay, there we go

Ilya: why the fuck am i in this group chat with hayden pike

Shane: Moral support

Shane: Alright, go ahead Hayden

Hayden: This is perfect, actually!

Hayden: You two have already been through this exact thing I’m dealing with!

Shane: …

Shane: Uh.. ,,

Ilya: u are coming out?

Ilya: u are gay

Ilya: after 4 kids

Hayden: ?? No!

Hayden: Nothing like that

Hayden: I’m saying my reddit got exposed!

Hayden: And me and Jackie are happily together, thank you very much

Ilya: okay.

Shane: Oh, yours got exposed too?

Shane: But you told me you didn’t have one!

Hayden: 😓

Hayden: Sorry…

Shane: Alright. I’ll take a look at the damage.

-

r/Cologne
Best cologne to use?
Unintelligent_panda: 7 months ago

Hey everyone. I’m looking for some suggestions of new cologne’s to try out. The one’s I’ve been using are getting a little old, looking for something fresh!

Replies:

Hayden_Pike: 7 months ago
Honestly, I don’t know anything about cologne. I just use whatever my wife buys me.

Unintelligent_panda: 7 months ago
Was the point of this to make me feel bad for being single? Asshole.

Hayden_Pike: 7 months ago
What?? No!

-

r/QuestionOfTheDay
Day 3942
Admin_Question: 5 months ago

Favorite chip flavor?

Replies:

Hayden_Pike: 5 months ago
Was unaware chips had flavors, actually! Thought they were just potato.

Ilyaspuck: 10 minutes ago
Is bro dumb 😭

-

r/Fathers
First time father
Mouse_Trails: 4 months ago

Any advice for a first time father? Literally any advice at all helps, I don’t know much.

Replies:

Hayden_Pike: 4 months ago
You’ll learn as time goes on. Just take a deep breath, and go with the flow.

Mouse_Trails: 4 months ago
How is that advice? What was the point of this?

winninggoal: 9 minutes ago
is all of his reddit just going to be unhelpful replies to questions or…

-

Shane: Honestly, it’s not that bad.

Shane: I’m just confused…

Shane: So your reddit was Hayden_Pike and it took them 2 months after ours got exposed to figure out that was you?

Ilya: of course it did

Ilya: he is irrelevant.

Ilya: nobody care

Hayden: Woah!

Hayden: Not that at all, I like to think it’s because my posts were very discrete and blended in well with the crowd.

Shane: Well, I don’t know about ‘discrete’...

-

r/Fathers
How do I deal with Kids on the road!
How_To_Live: 3 months ago

I work a very demanding job that requires me to travel a lot. My wife is pregnant, and I feel guilty leaving her alone for a while, but we both want to start a family. Any advice for how to get through this? I’ll be gone for weeks at a time.

Replies:

Hayden_Pike: 3 months ago
Hey! I’m happy to help. I’m Hayden Pike, and I play for the Montreal Metros hockey team. I am always on the road, playing in the MLH! As a father of four, it does take a lot of getting used to being away from your kids for so long. What I’ve noticed, is that you just have to take it a day at a time. Make sure you’re spending time with your kids when you ARE there, so they notice your presence! At least that is what I, Hayden Pike, a player for the Montreal Metros MLH hockey team, have noticed as a father of four.

nayeonssmith: 9 minutes ago
So he finally answers a question and doxxes himself in the process. I see why Jackie doesn’t let him talk.

-

r/MontrealMetros
WTF WAS THAT PLAY
Angry_Fan: 2 months ago

Breaking! Montreal Metros’s player HAYDEN PIKE has delivered the most forgettable pass of all time!

I’M SO TIRED OF THIS TEAM!

Replies:

Hayden_Pike: 2 months ago
Is that a typo ? Did you mean to say ‘unforgettable’?

Angry_Fan: 2 months ago
No!

Hayden_Pike: 2 months ago
Oh 😟

-

r/MontrealMetros
Who is this guy?
Canadian_Born: 2 months ago

Who is the guy that always stands next to Shane? Are they friends? Never seen him before a day in my life.

Replies:

Hayden_Pike: 2 months ago
That’s Hayden Pike!

Canadian_Born: 2 months ago
Who?

Hayden_Pike: 2 months ago
That’s Hayden Pike! He’s a left wing forward!

Canadian_Born: 2 months ago
Who?

Hayden_Pike: 2 months ago
That’s Hayden Pike! He’s a left wing forward that plays for the Montreal Metros!

Canadian_Born: 2 months ago
Who?

-

Ilya: how did nobody find this until now.

Ilya: cannot stop laughing

Ilya: might pee myself.

Shane: Ilya wait until I’m there baby.

Hayden: ??

Hayden: Alright, I need to know how to fix this.

Ilya: no fix

Ilya: your career is over

Ilya: bye bye

Hayden: Can you get him out of here??

Ilya: yes of course.

Ilya Rozanov has removed Hayden Pike from the conversation

Ilya: just us, better now.

Shane: Ilya! I’m trying to help him fix this

Ilya: fine.

Ilya Rozanov has added Hayden Pike from the conversation

Hayden: Can the team release a statement or something?

Shane: You saw how that went for me…

Shane: I think your best bet is to just hope nobody cares enough about you to make an article.

Ilya: too late i already found one.

Ilya: LINK: Shane Hollander’s teammate ALSO has his reddit exposed!

Hayden: What? They didn’t even mention me in the title?

Ilya: irrelevant..

Shane: That’s good though, right?

Shane: It won’t get as much press if they don’t mention your name

Hayden: I guess, yeah

Hayden: But now I’m just offended.

Ilya: score 10x more goals

Ilya: maybe then they will headline mention you then

Shane: Ilya 10 times 0 is still 0

Hayden: Hey?

Shane: Sorry

Shane: I’m on your side!

Shane: I swear

Hayden: Alright, we’ve come to a conclusion. If I’m lucky, Jackie will not see this.

Ilya: and if you are not lucky what then?

Hayden: That’s an issue for another day!

-

r/MontrealMetros
what the hell is UP with the powerplay??
I_Used_To_Love: 2 minutes ago

What’s up with the powerplay?? I’ve never seen a team draw 9 penalties in ONE game and not score on a SINGLE ONE OF THEMMMM

Replies:

montrealbaddie: 2 minutes ago
theyre calling montreal the worst power play of all time

Hayden_Pike: 2 minutes ago
Who is they?

montrealbaddie: 1 minute ago
shane hollander told me himself.

-

Hayden: Shane… I’m hurt

Shane: ??

Hayden: You know I’m on PP one.

Shane: Hayden.

Shane: Are you still ACTIVELY posting on reddit?

Hayden: Nonsense.

Shane: ??