Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble & Ilya Rozanov, Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros WAGs Ensemble & Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, Jackie Pike, Hayden Pike, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros WAGs Ensemble (Game Changers)

Additional Tags:

Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike Friendship, Hayden Pike Finds Out About Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau Finds Out About Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov Takes Care of Shane Hollander, Coming Out, Good Friend Jackie Pike, Texting Fic, but not really, Hockey, Hurt Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander is High on Pain Medication, Not Beta Read, Sorry Not Sorry, WAG Ilya Rozanov

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-02-19 Words: 9,530 Chapters: 4/4

Boston Tea Party

Summary

Are you supposed to find your closest friends in a group of people who don’t even know who you are? Are you supposed to make fun of your not boyfriend/arch rival to a bunch of strangers? Are you supposed to makeout with said arch rival after a hockey game in front of everybody? No. Is Ilya going to do it anyway? Obviously.

OR

Ilya Rozanov gets added to the Montreal WAG group chat.

Notes

I wrote the whole fic before posting the first chapter so it can be complete 😱

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Ilya was sitting in his hotel room, bored out of his mind before the game when he got a text on his phone. He raised his eyebrows at the name, not quite knowing what to expect when he saw a text in a group chat from an unknown number. 

—

Queens of Hockey

12:13pm

Jackie added Lily

Jackie: Welcome Lily!

Lily: who is this

Jackie: Right sorry! This is Jackie, Hayden Pike’s wife, this is the WAG group chat for Montreal!

Lily: shane is not boyfriend

Jackie: I know but you two have been seeing each other for forever so we all agreed you deserved to be in the group chat

Lily: how did you get my number?

Jackie: I promised not to tell… let’s just say Hayden is considering a labotomy…

Mica: Girl what do you send your man?? 😭

This is Laine’s gf Mica btw, glad to have you 😘

Lily: we are long distance, i must satisfy him somehow

those texts are meant for his eyes only

Mica: GIRL 😭

Jules: waitttt does this mean you’re gonna sit with us at the Boston game?? This is Jules, Drapeau’s fiancée!!

Lily: no

Jules: whattttt we always have a WAG meetup

Lily: shane is not boyfriend

Jules: WAGs don’t neeeeed to be dating someone 

Mica: Yeah Emma has been on and off with Comeau and we still let her stay 😘

Emma: Girl leave me out of this 😭

And of course you’re a WAG Lily

WAGs are a mentality, not a strict definition

Jules: exactlyyyyyyyy

Lily: i live in boston, will be cheering for bears

Jules: you don’t even root for your man???

Lily: what is root? like tree root? english is not my first language, sorry

Jackie: Rooting for someone is like cheering for them

That’s insane though, I always thought Boston Lily still liked Montreal

Lily: i like when shane wins, he gives very good happy sex

i like it more when he loses, he gives better angry sex

and he still gives head like champion

Jules: girlllllll 😭

Lily: just truth

Mica: GIRL 😭

5:42pm

Jackie: good luck tonight Lily, may the best team win 

Lily: i win either way sweetheart 😘

Jules: I wish my man had the drive of yours

especially after all the years you guys were together

Lily: i was his first time, he can’t get enough of me

—

The game had gone relatively well. Montreal had won, 5-4. There was only so much Boston could do with an injured goalie. Ilya was still happy about the game. 

The WAGs had all gone to the game, they were on the big screen multiple times. They had a sign saying “seat reserved for BL” between them. Ilya thought it was sweet. He also found humor in BL being short for both Boston Lily and boy love. They had no clue Lily was a boy, of course. 

The announcers thought it was for Rose. 

—

8:19pm

Jackie: That’s sweet though!

Any reason you haven’t tied him down?

Lily: distance, is hard with work

congrats on the win tonight

Jules: you gonna get good phone sex?

Lily: i was at game

i get happy sex 😘

Mica: I thought you said you were in Boston??

Lily: i go to montreal, i cheer for boston, i see shane, we fuck, is simple

Jackie: Hayden is complaining about Shane ditching him lmao

Jen: JJ said they were supposed to get drinks, bigger things come up?

This is Jen, JJ’s girlfriend btw

Lily: something much bigger came up 😘

Mica: Is he there now?

Lily: i am in cab to his house

Jackie: His house? He didn’t even let me in his house for years, he must really like you

Lily: he bought separate house to fuck, this is not main house, he is too scared

Jules: He bought you a whole house to fuck?? He must reallyyyyyy spoil you

Lily: he does

he says he has too much money for himself

Jackie: Well, have fun, be safe!

Jules: Use protection, don’t have a baby!

Jackie: I love my kids!

Jules: You’re also married Jacks

Mica: There are also STDs and STIs to worry about??

Emma: I’d rather have an STI than a baby

Jules: You’re also a regular at the clinic downtown 🙄

Jackie: No shaming people in the group chat for their sex life Julia

Jules: Sorryyyyy

8:31am

Emma: Okay, can we talk about how hot Rozanov was last night though??

Mica: Ew what?

Emma: He looked good!

Jackie: Don’t tell Hayden… but objectively he is attractive

Mica: Don’t tell me they’ve got to you Jacks, we were supposed to be a united front 😭

Jackie: I think it’s the accent, European accents are just… yum

Mica: You did not just say yum…

Emma: She’s right though! 

@Lily is Rozanov hot?

Mica: That’s cheating! She’s a Bears fan

Lily: rozanov is hot, hollander is hotter though

Emma: Would you leave Shane for Rozanov? 👀

Lily: no, never

Mica: Awwwwwww

Emma: Exclusive but not dating?

Lily: is complicated

Jackie: Are you still with him?

Lily: for now, i am leaving soon, flight is in a couple hours

Jackie: Awe :(

Emma: We should meet when we play in Boston!

Lily: that might be too soon

Mica: You’ve been together for years how is that soon??

Lily: i just met you guys

Jackie: We play Boston in a couple weeks, no pressure, think about it, we did add you to become friends though :)

Lily: i go to game to cheer for boston, we could not watch together

Jackie: We can meet after! It’s an early game

Lily: we will see

—

“Hollander,” Ilya said softly, pressing a kiss to Shane’s temple. Shane stirred and tightened his arms around Ilya’s waist. “Hollander, you need to get up.” He glanced at the clock. 9am. 

“Leave me alone,” Shane’s voice was deep, rough with sleep. “I’m tired from beating you.”

Ilya’s hand slipped down until it was on Shane’s lower back. “I want to fuck you before I leave.” 

Shane’s arms tightened slightly more. Something unnoticeable if you weren’t paying attention, Ilya was paying attention. Shane lifted his head, resting his chin on Ilya’s chest. “When are you leaving?”

“I have to be at hotel in two hours, we have time,” Ilya said, lowering his hand further, brushing his finger over Shane’s hole, he shuttered under the touch before moving so he was straddling Ilya’s hips. 

“Do whatever you want to me then,” Shane whispered, his breath hot against Ilya’s ear. 

—

Jane ❤️

12:32pm

Jane: Have a safe flight

Lily: you are still sore?

Jane: I can barely move

Lily: it felt good though, no?

Jane: You always feel good

Lily: you were screaming my name

Jane: I don’t regret anything

Lily: good

we are boarding

i will text when we land

Jane: Be safe

Lily: hope you feel better 😘

2:09pm

Lily: flight went well

Jane: Good

Lily: i am horny

Jane: I don’t think I could take you again even if you were still here, I haven’t left bed

Lily: you will be good for practice tomorrow?

Jane: Good enough

Lily: good

[image]

Jane: I take it back, I definitely could take you again if you were here

God you’re so hot

Lily: 😘

—

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Chapter Notes

I don’t know what’s wrong with the formatting but it’s okay, trust

Ilya spent the next couple weeks focused on hockey, encouraging his team to work harder to beat Montreal when they played again in a couple weeks. He barely went on his phone unless it was to text Shane and the WAGs.

Ilya had grown close to them. He shared insignificant details about his life. Like his home in Boston, that he was from Russia, that he loved hockey more than (almost) anything. He shared some details about his relationship with Shane, that he bought him ginger ale whenever the team was in Boston, that he loved tuna melts, how he always took long, cold showers after hockey games (which Jackie already knew from Hayden).

The WAGs thought it was funny to hear these things about Shane. They never thought of him as romantic or as the type to be in this kind of relationship. Ilya often thought they would understand if they knew who he really was.

It was two weeks until the Boston/Montreal game at home. He had hoped the girls would leave the group hangout alone but they never did. They brought it up every couple days. Even if it was something as small as just bringing up the game. 

Ilya brought it up to Shane a week ago. Shane said he’d think on it. Ilya thought it was definitely a decision for both of them to make together. Ilya coming out would directly lead to Shane being outed. It wasn’t fair if Ilya made the call without consulting him. Even if he really wanted to let them come over to his house. If Shane said no, the answer would be no. 

Tonight Boston had a free night. Montreal was playing at home against New York. Ilya had the game on in the background. He definitely didn’t notice how rough Shane was playing, running countless people into the boards, barely escaping penalties. Or that the WAGs still had their “BL” sign. Or that it was now accompanied by a Hollander jersey. 

Ilya didn’t notice when they did a close up on Shane after he scored another shot. How he had blew a kiss at the camera. At him. Ilya had done the same at countless games. Blowing a kiss intended for Shane. They had talked about it a couple times. They never directly said it, but they both knew. 

Ilya went into the kitchen for a Coke during an ad. Smiling to himself slightly. Montreal was in the lead 5-2. There was barely any game left, it was pretty much over. Shane would be happy. Shane would call. Ilya would hear Shane’s soft little moans as Ilya told him how to touch himself. 

Ilya walked back into his living room, sprawling out on his couch. He opened his coke, the click echoing throughout his large, empty house. He looked up on the TV, the game was still going. Montreal was going to win. There was no doubting it. The WAGs had already texted as much in the group chat. 

Scott Hunter, the New York captain, seemed to have accepted it. He still played hard but nowhere near as hard as he was in the beginning, when it was close. Other members of his team couldn’t be spoken for. One of the players, a rookie Ilya didn’t know, was being straight up violent. 

Shane had the puck, he had Pike on his right and Boiziau on his left. The rookie knocked into Pike, sending him to the ground before heading towards Shane. Boiziau noticed a second too late, he tried to skate to block but the rookie slammed into Shane, sending him to the ground. He was hit hard enough that he went flying into the wall, head first. 

Ilya’s smile immediately fell. He nearly dropped his coke as he rushed to his phone that was ringing on his kitchen table. He barely realized it was Jackie before he answered. 

“Hello?” His voice was shaking, everything was shaking. He was crying. He hadn’t even considered what it meant for Jackie for Ilya Rozanov to be answering her call. “Jackie please don’t freak out-“

“I’ve known for a while, Ilya, I’ve known since I got your number,” her voice was full of worry. “Were you watching the game?”

“Da,” he paused. “Is he okay?”

“We don’t know, they stopped the game. Hayden was able to walk off,” she paused for a second, her voice away from the phone as she talked to someone else. “He’s being taken to the hospital. They said he’s unconscious but breathing, he-“

“Unconscious? What is unconscious?” Ilya’s mind was racing through his knowledge of English words. Unconscious was not in them. 

“Like passed out, he was mumbling a little bit, they-they said all they could make out was ‘tell him I’m okay’ I’m assuming it’s you.” Ilya felt like he wanted to die. What if Shane wasn’t okay? Shane was being taken to the hospital and all he cared about was him.

“I am going to fly to Montreal,” he said without much thought, putting Jackie on speaker as he opened Google to buy a ticket. 

“You are welcome to stay with Hayden and I if you need, we are both here for you, okay?” Jackie sounded certain even though Ilya knew Hayden would not want him to stay. 

“I will see, I may not stay long if it looks worse than it is. I will keep in mind,” he said. “I booked a flight for an hour.”

“I will pick you up at the airport, when will you land?” She asked, he could hear her walking out of the stadium. 

“You don’t need to,” Ilya said, going to his room, throwing random clothes into a duffle bag.

“I want to.”

“I will land at 10:30.”

“I will be there,” her voice sounded earnest, Ilya was so grateful she had added him to the chat, even after knowing who he really was. 

“Was it the texts?” Ilya asked suddenly.

“Was what the texts?”

“That you found out who I was?”

“Well I figured out you were a boy when I got your number, Shane’s most recent text was that he wanted you to fuck him, I figured you were you when you said you were Russian living in Boston. I wasn't sure but I assumed. This only confirmed my suspicion. Hayden knows Shane is gay, and if you stay with us he will know you are dating, I have not brought up my suspicion to anybody though. Hayden hasn’t told Shane he knows he’s gay, he didn’t want to make Shane feel forced to tell him. Especially given how he found out.”

“You should tell Hayden, I will be there overnight at least.”

“Are you sure?”

“He was nicer the last time we played against each other, he knows.”

“I will tell him and meet you at the airport at 10:30, okay?”

“Okay, thank you, for everything.”

“Of course, Lily, you are still a WAG no matter what.”

—

Ilya put his duffle bag in the backseat of Jackie’s car before getting in the passenger seat. Jackie didn’t say anything as she drove away from the pickup area, towards the hospital Ilya assumed. It was obvious he had been crying, his eyes were red and puffy. He had just thrown on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, something he would never wear in public. 

“Is Pike okay?”

“Yeah, he just has a bruise on the back of his shoulder, other than that, he is okay. There haven’t been any updates on Shane. Hayden contacted his parents, they aren’t able to come down until tomorrow evening at the earliest, maybe not even until the next day because of the snow. He said you can stay as long as you need.”

“Thank you Jackie, really, this means a lot.” 

“Of course,” she glanced at him before looking back at the road. “How are you doing?”

“I need him to be okay, I don’t know what I’m going to do if he’s not okay.”

“He will be,” Jackie assured him, though there was some uncertainty in her voice. “The kid has been benched until they figure out what they’re going to do with him. His coach started screaming about how he was being reckless and playing too hard for no real reason. He was pissed but it was justified.”

“If Shane isn’t okay, he will have more to worry about than being benched.”

“He will be okay,” Jackie assured him.

The rest of the ride was quiet, the drive was about half an hour from the airport. Jackie parked in the emergency room parking lot, they both got out and walked to the waiting room. 

“Hello, visiting hours are over, you are welcome to take a seat outside until morning,” the receptionist didn’t even look up from her computer. 

“Hi, my name is Ilya Rozanov, I’m here to see Shane Hollander,” he said, ignoring her. 

“Did you not listen to me?” She asked looking up, boredom clear in her voice and eyes.

“Yes, we heard you,” Jackie said, her voice loud and clear before Ilya could respond. “Shane was just in what could be a career ending accident, both of us have the money to sue your hospital to the ground if you don’t let us see him, I do not care who you are, we will be seeing him tonight.”

“What is your relationship to him?”

“Does it matter?”

She sighed. “Ilya Rozanov, and?”

“Jackie Pike.”

She did some typing before giving them both visitor passes. “If you go through the double doors, there is a hallway to your left and right, Mr Hollander is in room 47 on the right. It is a private room but it will be unlocked when you get there.”

“Thank you,” Jackie said, smiling sweetly.

They walked back, following her instructions. “Is Hayden at home?”

“Yes, he is watching the kids, I will be going home tonight and he will be coming to see him in the morning. You are welcome to stay the night or come home and go back, whatever you want to do.”

“I would like to stay, that is okay?” 

Jackie nodded. They stopped outside of the room. “Do you want me to go in with you or wait?”

“I’d like you to go in with me.” Jackie nodded, grabbing his hand lightly as they walked in. It was definitely bad but it could be worse. His face was bruised and his arm was in a sling but he was alive and breathing. 

Ilya let go of Jackie’s hand and all but ran over to him. He ran his thumb over his cheek lightly. Shane was asleep but he leaned into the touch, mumbling something he couldn’t quite make out. Ilya leaned down and kissed his forehead, his hand moving down to hold Shane’s uninjured one. 

“You are first person to know,” Ilya said, still looking down at Shane.

“I am honored,” she said, pulling over two chairs to Shane’s bedside. Ilya sat down so he could still hold his hand. 

“I wanted to tell you, all of you, Shane was scared, understandably. I do not want to hide anymore,” he kissed Shane’s hand. Shane mumbled something else Ilya couldn’t make out. 

“I promise not to tell anyone until you are both ready, Ilya, truly, and I know Hayden wouldn’t tell anyone either.”

“I appreciate both of you,” Ilya said, turning his attention to Jackie. “I know I am a… less than ideal partner.”

“Shane is smart, he wouldn’t have stayed with you for so long if he didn’t love you.”

“We… we haven’t said that yet,” Ilya said, looking back at Shane. “I think that would have been my biggest regret if he… if he wasn’t okay.”

“I know it’s hard, especially in this profession, you don’t need to come out to everyone all at once, maybe just start by establishing what you are? And make this,” she said, smirking as she gestured between the two of them, “official.”

“Is complicated, but I want to try.” Ilya smiled softly, looking back down at their hands. “For the record, I’d really like you guys to come over, if Shane is okay with telling you guys about us, after the Boston/Montreal game. Even if it’s just you.”

“I would love that,” she smiled evilly. “I can bring Hayden, make it a double date.”

“He would hate that,” Ilya said, his smile matching hers. “If Shane is okay with it, yes, I know he was planning on staying a couple days in Boston because no game next two weeks, I am sure he will be okay missing one day alone, yes?”

“Ultimately it would be up to him, but I would love to come over.” Jackie’s phone dinged, Ilya had put his on do not disturb before the game started and never took it off. He found over fifty text messages from Queens of Hockey and an unknown number, which introduced himself as Hayden.

—

Hayden Pike

Hayden: Hey man, this is Hayden, I don’t know if you were watching the game

Shane just got hit pretty bad

He’s going to the hospital

Montreal General

His parents can’t come until tomorrow

Jackie said you’re coming, you’re welcome to stay here

I know we haven’t exactly been nice to each other but I want to support Shane and that means supporting you too

I don’t have a problem with the gay thing by the way

I kind of assumed when he didn’t date anyone even though girls were pretty much shoving themselves down his pants

Also when I took your number from his phone (sorry about that) he said he wanted you to fuck him

Which I don’t want to think about

But that confirmed it

And the way he looks at you

If you’re not paying attention it’s not obvious

But when you are paying attention it’s so obvious

He’s so in love with you man

If you break his heart I will break you

Ilya: is okay, i will not hurt him

am at hospital with your wife

i am staying night with him

Hayden: Is he okay? I haven’t heard anything

Ilya: no doctors have come in, officially visiting hours are over, unofficially your wife threatened to sue the hospital if we did not see him

Hayden: How does he look?

Ilya: His face is bruised, a concussion i assume, his arm is in a sling, jackie thinks it is fractured collarbone because his arm looks fine

Hayden: *liked a message*

Text me when you know more

Ilya: *liked a message*

— 

“There are so many messages in the group chat,” Ilya said, seeing he still had thirty-seven text messages. “Is a lot of English.”

“They basically just said what happened, that he was going to the hospital, and that they hoped you’re okay, do you want me to tell them you’re here?” Jackie asked, already reaching for her phone. 

“Da, please,” Ilya saw another text pop up on his phone.

—

Cliff Marleau

Cliff: You’re in Montreal? 

People are posting about it online

Ilya: visiting someone

Cliff: Odd timing do go today, we’ve been off for a week

Ilya: was urgent, not planned

Cliff: Something with your girl in Montreal?

Ilya: da

Cliff: Take care of yourself man

Ilya: *liked a message*

—

The door opened, a nurse walked in, she seemed tired but smiled at Jackie and Ilya. Ilya thought to remove his hand from Shane’s but figured it was too late. 

“Are you family?”

“No, close friends,” Jackie responded.

“Have you gotten an update on his condition?”

“No, he is going to be okay?” Ilya asked, the concern thickening his accent. 

“He has a mild concussion and a fractured collarbone, but he will be okay, yes,” she messed with his IV while she continued to talk. “He is currently on medication that will help him with the pain, he will get a different one once he leaves. It is recommended that he takes it as needed, it will likely be every day at first but as he heals, he should not take it every day. It is recommended that he… limits his physical movements until he can remove the sling.” She paused, her face turning pink before continuing, “it is recommended that he does not have sex in that time.”

“Because of the movement?” Jackie asked, curiosity getting the better of her. 

“Yes.”

“So he can have blow job?”

“Ilya!” Jackie said, slapping his arm. 

“What, is valid question.”

“Yes-yes he can. It is recommended he does not… give one.” 

“Is shame,” Ilya said, looking back down at Shane. 

“You’ll survive a couple weeks, oh my god Ilya,” Jackie said laughing.

“You will likely receive more information from the doctor in the morning,” she said awkwardly, moving quickly towards the door. 

“Okay, thank you, sorry about him,” Jackie said, apologetically. 

“It’s uh… it’s okay, he’s not the first to ask,” she said before leaving. 

“I cannot believe you asked her that.”

“Her English was confusing,” Ilya said, shrugging.

“You are unbelievable, I am telling the group chat you asked that.”

“They will understand,” Ilya smiled, looking back down at Shane. “You will leave soon?”

“Yeah, it’s almost midnight, are you sure you’ll be okay here alone?” Jackie asked, standing as she brought her chair back to where she had gotten from. 

“I am sure, I cannot leave him alone.”

“Okay, be safe, call if you need anything, don’t hesitate, okay?”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Of course, you’re a WAG, WAGs support WAGs,” she said, winking before she walked out of the room. 

“YA tak sil'no tebya lyublyu,” Ilya whispered, leaning down to rest his head on Shane’s bicep. He closed his eyes, letting his exhaustion take a hold of him as he fell asleep. 

—

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Chapter Notes

You guys get high/clingy Shane Hollander in this one, you’re welcome 😘

When Ilya woke back up, his head was in Shane’s lap and Shane was playing with his hair. “Ilya!” Shane said, smiling widely when he noticed Ilya had woken up. 

“You are awake,” Ilya said, lifting his head, taking Shane’s hand back in his own when Shane frowned. “How are you feeling?”

“I dunno, I feel like I did the one time I did drugs in high school,” Shane said, giggling at the thought. “‘M glad you’re here.”

“I am glad I am here too.”

“Mmmmmm,” Shane mumbled something Ilya couldn’t make out.

“What, lyubov?”

“I love youuuu,” Shane said, smiling at Ilya. 

Ilya’s face faltered for a second before he smiled softly, “this isn’t how I wanted to say this the first time, I love you too, Shane.”

“You say it all the time in Russian,” Shane said, his smile getting wider. “I say it in French sometimes.”

“You… you knew?” Ilya felt like he wanted to die. He had been telling Shane he loved him for years. Why had he never bought it up? 

“Uh-huh, you never said it in English, you said it a lot before I looked it up, then it was too late to tell you.” Ilya stood up to kiss Shane. The kiss was awkward but sweet. “I want you to be my boyfriend.”

“I am going to say yes,” Ilya said slowly. “But if you change your mind when you are no longer high out of your mind, you can change your mind.”

“Shut up and kiss me again,” Shane said, pouting.

Ilya kissed him again, letting go of Shane’s hand to put it in his hair, his other hand beside Shane’s pillow to support himself. This kiss went slightly better, Ilya followed Shane’s inconsistent movements best he could, he was obviously high on whatever pain killers they gave him. Ilya tugged at his hair softly, making Shane whimper.

Ilya laughed, pulling away, “you okay?”

“I want you to fuck me,” Shane said, his pupils dilating.

“You’re high, and in a hospital.” Ilya’s words were soft but firm. Shane started pouting again. “It feels like taking advantage of you if you’re high and I’m not.”

“We have fucked so many times before,” Shane’s pout deepened. Ilya kissed him again softly.

“We are still in hospital, and you are on sex ban.”

“What? Says who?”

“Your doctors, until your collarbone is healed, no sex for you.”

“I want you inside of me so badly,” Shane whined, his uninjured hand moved to Ilya’s hip, pulling his body closer. “Pleaseeeeeee.”

“The sooner you heal, the sooner I can fuck you, okay? Your body needs to focus on healing.”

“You make me feel better.”

“I know baby,” Ilya whispered, kissing his cheek. “I can suck your dick, I will suck your dick as soon as you are home, okay?”

Shane smiled before responding, “okay, I will hold you to that.” Ilya kissed him again, still playing with Shane’s hair, making Shane groan softly.

“I love you so much,” Ilya said, pulling away.

“I love you too Ilya,” Shane responded, giggling.

Ilya’s face fell. “Jackie and Hayden know about us.”

“You told them?” Shane asked, frowning.

“No, Jackie called when you got hit, she said she already knew, and Pike texted me saying he knew we were together. I don’t know how Pike found out but Jackie used context clues and guessed, the call just confirmed her guess.”

“Have they told anyone?”

“No, nobody else knows,” Ilya assured him, kissing him softly.

“I want people to know.”

“We will talk about this when you are not high anymore, okay?” 

“Okay,” Shane said. He frowned slightly. “Kiss me, I cannot lean up.”

Ilya laughed before kissing him roughly. He tried not to be too heated but Shane quickly took control of Ilya’s slow, controlled movements, slipping his tongue into the younger man’s mouth. Ilya moaned softly at the invasion of his mouth. He felt Shane smile against his lips as his hand went under Ilya’s shirt. 

“I want you,” Shane said, pulling away breathlessly. “I know I can’t have you, but I ache for you.”

“Maybe you’re aching because you’re injured.”

“Shut up, I am horny, you see how horny I am,” he paused. “And how horny you are.”

“When you are better, I will fuck you as long and hard as you want, lyubov,” Ilya whispered in his ear, making Shane shutter. “But now you need to focus on healing, okay?”

“Okay,” Shane whispered back.

“Good,” Ilya said, kissing his cheek before he moved back to sit next to him. He went back to holding Shane’s hand even though Shane complained when he removed his hand from his hair. “We are not fully alone, lyubov.”

“I know,” Shane’s voice was still a whine. It was adorable. There was a knock at the door, causing Ilya to immediately let go of Shane’s hand, causing another whine of complaint to leave his mouth. 

“Oh Mr Rozanov,” the doctor said, surprised. “You’re not trying to smother him with a pillow are you?”

“Ah, no, I am here to support friend.” Ilya glanced at Shane, seeing a deep frown on his beautiful face.

“Boyfriend,” Shane said firmly, his voice still whiny.

“Da, boyfriend,” Ilya said, completely wrecked. Also completely grateful that doctors and nurses could not tell anyone about what they saw. Shane made a grabby hand for Ilya which he immediately gave into, taking his hand back into his own. 

“Be-tter,” Shane said, finally smiling again. 

“Well, I am here with Mr Hollander’s discharge papers. He will be unable to function on his own for the next week or two, then he may need some help as he regains movement in his arm and shoulder but it won’t be as extensive. He will be out for the rest of the season, of course, but he should be good by the time summer workouts roll around.” She handed Ilya some papers. “You are on his list of contacts so you are able to sign his release form.”

“I will take care of you until parents come, da?”

“Mmmmm-hmmmmm,” Shane said, smiling giddily.

“I will have a nurse come in to collect the papers shortly,” she did not wait for a response before walking out. Almost as immediately as she left, Hayden Pike was walking in. 

“Hayden,” Shane said smiling. Then he frowned when Ilya released his hand. “You said he knows about ussss.”

“I need to sign your paperwork, moya lyubov.” 

Shane frowned but turned his attention to Hayden. “Took you long enough, your wife was here before you.”

“I had to watch the kids, plus I had to get an x-ray on my shoulder. Dude are you okay though?” Hayden’s voice was thick with worry. Ilya felt a bit bad. He got to stay the night while his best friend was stuck at home and his parents were stuck even further away. 

“I am out for the season, you will be good captain,” Shane smiled at him like a proud parent. 

“Jackie and I were right, concussion and fractured collarbone,” Ilya said, not looking up from the paperwork. None of it made any sense. There was way too much English. “Can you help me with this?” Ilya finally asked, sighing in defeat.

“Yeah man, no problem,” Hayden pulled up the chair Jackie had used the night before. They went through the paperwork slowly, Hayden explaining the words Ilya didn’t know (googling the ones neither of them knew), they discussed options with Shane about his recovery plan. When all was said and done, it took them an hour and a half to get through the paperwork. 

The second Ilya said they were done, Shane whined and did the grabby motion for Ilya’s hand again. Ilya chucked, bringing Shane’s hand up against his lips briefly. 

“Okay gross,” Hayden said, making a fake vomiting sound. 

“How long have you known?” Shane asked. 

“A couple months,” Hayden looked apologetic. “That you were gay, I’ve only known since the Montreal/Boston game that it was with Rozanov.”

“I love himmmmm,” Shane said, smiling widely.

“Mm I love you too, baby,” Ilya said gently, bringing his other hand up to rest on Shane’s thigh, putting his head down on the edge of the bed. 

“Pretty,” Shane mumbled. 

“Tired,” Ilya responded.

“Sleeeeeeep.”

“Need to get you home.”

“Will you stay?”

“Da.” Ilya paused for a second before raising his head to look at Hayden. “I think the best plan would be to bring Shane to his house, I can stay with him until his parents get here, hopefully he’s less high by then.”

“I’m not high,” Shane said, pouting. 

“Yes, you are, lyubov, is okay, you will be better soon.”

“How do I trust your plan isn’t to fuck him until his parents get there?” Hayden asked as if that was his biggest concern. 

“He is on sex ban-“

“Not blow job ban, I can see Ilya’s pretty face as he-“

“Okay, I’ve heard enough thank you,” Hayden said, covering his ears like a child until he was sure Shane stopped talking. Shane just giggled and held Ilya’s hand tighter. “I can drive you two to his house?”

“Okay,” Shane said smiling. A nurse came in with his clothes, taking the papers and giving Ilya the official discharge papers for the front desk. She also unhooked him from all the monitors and removed his IV before leaving. 

“Would you uh mind stepping out for a minute, Pike?” Ilya said awkwardly. 

“Why, so you can suck his dick?” Hayden asked accusatorily. 

“No, so I can help him get dressed,” Ilya’s voice was more firm now, he knew Shane wouldn’t care since they showered together and changed in the locker rooms all the time but Ilya was possessive and didn’t want Hayden to see him. 

Hayden seemed to have processed that his best friend was in nothing more than a hospital gown. “Yeah, sorry, yeah, I’ll wait outside, like outside the room, I’ll walk with you guys to the car, yeah, sorry,” he mumbled walking out quickly. 

“He’s so stupid,” Shane said, laughing affectionately. 

“Yeah,” Ilya said, sighing. Ilya stood up and grabbed Shane’s clothes. He helped Shane dress despite his pleas for Ilya to touch him. Ilya promised he would help him when they were somewhere private. Shane thought this answer was good enough and responded by being useful in the dressing process. 

“Kiss me,” Shane whined after Ilya did a once over, making sure they had everything. Ilya sighed, a content sigh, before kissing him softly, bringing both hands up to cup Shane’s face. The kiss was soft and tender, Ilya trying his best not to hurt the fragile boy in front of him. “I can’t wait for you to suck my dick when we get home.” When we get home. Ilya’s heart hurt. 

“Come on then, the faster we leave, the faster I can,” Ilya said, grabbing his hand as they walked to the door. 

“Okay,” Shane said happily. 

“Khoroshiy mal'chik,” Ilya said, smiling. 

“I know what that one means too,” Shane said embarrassed as his face flushed red. 

“You are a good boy,” Ilya said, his smile turning into a smirk before he opened the door, letting go of Shane’s hand. “Okay, so Shane in passenger seat, I sit behind him,” Ilya said once they had finally gotten to the car. Nobody said anything as they got in, not even when Ilya helped Shane put on his seatbelt, grateful Pike had parked in a secluded area so he could kiss Shane softly.

“You two are so domestic,” Hayden said once Ilya had gotten in the car, no disgust, just a statement. “How long have you been together anyway?”

“I think that’s a story for another day, Pike,” Ilya said quickly before Shane could answer. 

—

The car ride had gone well and although Ilya wouldn’t say it out loud, he was a little sad Shane couldn’t suck his dick, or that Ilya was sad he couldn’t fuck him. He did however get embarrassingly close to the edge when his boyfriend came down his throat, all but screaming his name, only needing a few weak strokes to his own cock before he came on Shane’s stomach. Not that he would ever admit that out loud either.

They were now cuddled up in Shane’s bed, both of them in only boxers. It was a little awkward with Shane on his back, laying his head pretty much on Ilya’s cock while he sat up in bed, but they quickly adjusted to it, not having many options with Shane’s limited mobility. Shane’s high had worn off, leaving him cuddly and tired. 

They laid there for a bit, talking about anything and everything. Until the dreaded topic had come up. Both of them were sick of hiding. They decided it would be for the best to come out slowly. Shane agreed to have the WAGs over after the Boston/Montreal game, which would also allow Shane to sit with them since he was out for the rest of the season anyway. Shane had also agreed to let Ilya tell Marleau to explain why Ilya had fled so suddenly. Ilya would post a picture of them together in Shane’s bed right now if he could, tell the whole world that Shane was his. But he respected his boyfriend’s decision to start slow. 

Shane had fallen asleep to Ilya playing with his hair, Ilya continued slowly moving his hand through his hair as he finally opened his text messages. 

— 

Cliff Marleau

Cliff: You gonna be at practice tonight?

I’m assuming no

I’ll cover for you don’t worry

Text me when you can

Ilya: i will not be at practice

for a couple days likely

Cliff: Shit man

Is Jane okay?

Ilya: did you hear about shane hollander?

Cliff: Yeah

Why

Oh

Yeah

Okay

Wow

Yeah

Okay

I won’t tell anyone

Just like be back before the game

Shit I’m sorry

Ilya: i will be leaving when his parents can come

i will not leave him alone

Cliff: Yeah man of course

Is he like your boyfriend or?

Not that it’s any of my business

I just

Wow

Ilya: yeah he is

we’ve been hooking up for years

boyfriend is new though

Cliff: Shit is he okay?

I heard they’re suspending the rookie

Ilya: it could have been worse

fractured collarbone and a concussion

out for the rest of the season

but he’s alive

Cliff: Shit man

Text me if you need anything

Really

I’m here for you no matter what happens

Ilya: *liked a message*

—

Ilya dreaded opening the Queens of Hockey, there were over seventy text messages now. English was so hard. He was unbelievably grateful when the first one he saw was a summary message from Jackie. And for Google Translate.

—

Queens of Hockey

Jackie: Hey Lily, I know English is hard for you sometimes and it’s probably especially hard now so here is a summary, I am going to ask that nobody else says anything until Lily responds. We just hope that Shane is okay and we are all here for you if you need anything. All of us love and support you no matter what. Any information you share is up to you and Shane, please do not feel pressured to share anything ❤️

Lily: thank you all for your support. shane is doing better, he is out of hospital and i will stay with him until his parents can get here. he will be unable to play for the rest of the season. to be honest i have been lying to you guys. but i want you all to know it was coming from a place of fear, not deception. my real name is not lily, the truth is i am ilya Rozanov and shane and i have been hiding our true feelings for each other since our rookie season. i truly hope that this does not change anything and you will still accept me as a wag. if you guys are still willing, i would love to host you guys after the boston/montreal game. i do ask that no matter how you feel about us, you do not tell anyone, we are still navigating what being a proper couple means for us and we are taking it one step at a time. 

Jackie: I am glad that Shane is home and has someone to take care of him. I support you endlessly Lils, you know that ❤️

Emma: Girl of course we support youuuuu

Like I said being a WAG is a mindset 😘

Mica: UGH I knew a guy who liked to give a girl head was too good to be true

Of course we support you Lily, tbh I think it’ll be a little weird to call you Ilya after all this time 

Lily: i do not mind you calling me lily, is nice

your support matters more

Jules: So when you said you thought Rozanov was hot you were just a narcissist…

Of course the two hottest men in the league are together 

Of course I support you though

Jen: I would love to officially meet you Lily, we support you always, once a WAG, always a WAG

Mica: Wait 

Does this mean it’s official? 👀

Lily: yep :)

Jackie: OMG congrats!! I was wondering what Hayden was sulking about lmao

Mica: GIRL congrats?? Omg what was the first thing you guys did??

Lily: suck his dick

Mica: GIRL 😭

Emma: I mean fair enough honestly

Jules: Congrats!!

— 

Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Chapter Notes

Last chapter :’)

The next two weeks were a blur. Ilya met Shane’s parents, it definitely could have gone worse. They seemed supportive but confused. Ilya was just happy they didn’t throw him out. 

When Boston played New York, they crushed them 6-1 out of spite. Ilya was happy the rookie was cut from the team after admitting he intentionally hit Shane too rough. Ilya grabbed some drinks at the bar with Scott Hunter before they headed up to the less crowded roof with a bottle of vodka. 

Scott told Ilya he knew about him and Shane. How if he hurt him, he would personally make sure Ilya didn’t have the dick to hurt anyone else ever again. Ilya assured him he’d rather kill himself before hurting Shane. Scott told him about Kip, how scared he was too.

Ilya never thought he’d have so much in common with an old man but they sat on that roof until the sun came up talking about the MHL and how homophobia was the culture of the sport. Ilya mentioned the WAGs and Cliff. Scott was happy for him, finding people within the profession that weren’t total assholes. They parted ways at close to six in the morning with the promise to keep in touch. Ilya was glad he had talked to someone in a similar situation.

Ilya trained hard, he was still determined to beat Montreal even if Shane wasn’t playing. Ilya “joked” that this would be the perfect opportunity for them to come out, for Shane to wear a Rozanov jersey and announce to the whole stadium that he was his. Ilya said it like a joke but when Jackie texted him saying Shane was freaking out before they left for the game because he couldn’t tell if he was serious or not, something inside him broke a little bit. Ilya said if Shane wanted to, he wouldn’t say no, but he didn’t want him to feel pressured to do anything. Jackie texted back a short response just wishing him luck. Ilya looked at the other message he received.

—

Jane ❤️

Jane: [image]

Do I look good?

Lily: oh my god

you look so good

Jane: Am I going to be a distraction when I’m on the big screen?

Lily: i’d prefer you put on other clothes

Jane: You don’t want me in your jersey?

Lily: i don’t want other people to see you in nothing but my jersey

leave the jersey on

pants and shoes would be nice for the big screen

save the naked for when we’re alone tonight 😘

Jane: Okay Mr Sex-Machine

Lily: i have been waiting so long

i can finally fuck you again

Jane: Good luck tonight babe

I’ll be cheering for you ❤️

Lily: god you’re perfect

—

“Hey, Cliff,” Ilya said, conversationally after closing his phone. “Jane is here.”

“I assumed she would be,” Cliff raised his eyebrow. 

“She’s here, in the box, with the Montreal WAGs in my jersey.”

“Holy shit dude? What?” He said loudly before dropping his voice. “You’re coming out?”

“Yes,” Ilya had a soft smile on his face. “Just be prepared for a shit show after.”

“Aye-aye captain, you always have my support,” Cliff slapped his hand on Ilya’s back once before heading out to the ice. Ilya was giddy with excitement. This was going to be a good game. 

—

The announcement came after the second period. Boston was up 5-3. The game was by no means over but Ilya felt confident knowing his boyfriend was there even if he could not see him. 

The announcement came before he was put on the TV. “And would you look at that folks, Shane Hollander is up with the Montreal WAGs… sporting an Ilya Rozanov jersey?” 

Ilya smirked slightly as the camera zoomed in on him. He did a little wave and spin. “He looks good in Boston colors, has he ever considered transferring?” Cliff said jokingly. 

“No, he likes Canada.”

“We’re not exactly sure if this is strategical to get under Rozanov’s skin tonight,” they did a split screen between Shane in the box and Ilya on his team’s bench, both in the same jersey. “Or if there is something more going on here.” Ilya blew a kiss at the camera, Shane returned the gesture, his face turning so pink it was visible on TV. “It seems that since Rozanov went to see Hollander in the hospital, the two have become friends.”

“That’s nice to hear,” the other announcer said. “It’s always nice to make friends even if it’s in unlikely…” Ilya tuned them out, grabbing his phone.

—

Jane ❤️

Lily: get your ass down here 

i’m kissing you when we win

on the ice

Jane: I can’t believe they think blowing kisses at each other while I’m wearing your jersey is friendly

Lily: i’ll fuck you on center ice and see how friendly they think we are then

Jane: I’ve dreamed about that

Lily: really?

Jane: Come to my cottage this summer

I have a private hockey rink

You can fuck me there

Lily: god

you know i cannot say no to you

i love you so much

Jane: I love you too

I will come down when you guys win

—

“Just friends huh?” Cliff said, laughing as Ilya put his phone away. “You seem pretty pissed about that.”

“Told him I would fuck him on center ice if they did not believe us,” Ilya said, the anger seeping into his voice, his accent so thick he was surprised Cliff could even understand him. 

“What did he have to say about that?”

“He agreed to kiss.”

When the next period started, Ilya found himself in a face off with Hayden Pike, an unusual faceoff partner but he would suffice.

“I can’t believe they thought you were friends,” Hayden said, smirking slightly. 

“I am going to suck his face off on the ice when we win,” Ilya said, winking. 

Ilya won the face off. 

He won the entire game actually.

6–5. It was close but god was Ilya grateful, he hadn’t exactly thought of a plan B. He dropped his stick by his team’s benches before skating to the Montreal benches, where Shane would be coming down. 

“Go suck face with the traitor, don’t rub it in,” Hayden said fake gagging. 

“He was sitting with your team dumbass,” Ilya said smiling as Shane climbed over the barrier. Once Shane was on the ice, his lips were on Ilya’s. He could hear cheering but he wasn’t thinking enough to hear words. Ilya had the decency to break the kiss and pull him away from the Montreal benches. Ilya grabbed at the fabric on his jersey, his hands sliding under to feel Shane’s warm stomach as they started kissing again. “Mine,” Ilya all but growled. 

“Yours,” Shane said breathlessly before they started kissing again. 

Ilya felt like he was high. He had always dreamed about kissing his someone at center ice like so many of his teammates did. But he never imagined how electrifying it would feel. He knew eyes were on them, he knew that cameras were on them, he tried to keep it PG, knowing kids would be watching from home but honestly, Ilya had wanted to rip off all of Shane’s clothes and fuck him right here on center ice. 

Shane pulled away from the kiss breathlessly, pushing their foreheads together. “You smell horrible.”

“Is okay, I was busy beating your team.”

“Only because I wasn’t there.”

“Yeah, they played hard, I think you would have scored the two goals to win,” it wasn’t something he admitted often but he knew Shane knew Ilya thought he was the best player in the league. That Boston would have definitely lost if Shane was playing. “Your collarbone okay?”

“Yeah, no pain meds today.”

“And the headaches?”

“Better, had one first period but it went away.”

“Good. Come home with me. It’s five, the girls will be over at eight, we have plenty of time.”

“Obviously I am coming over, Ilya,” Ilya took his hand chuckling, awkwardly skating to the Boston bench. Or Shane was awkward because he wasn’t wearing skates and Ilya was awkward because he was trying not to go too fast. Ilya went over first then put his hand out to support him. Most of the crowd was still around but the players had mostly left. 

“Meet me in my car,” Ilya said, his voice low as he handed Shane his keys. “Be a good boy for me, okay?” 

Shane shuttered under him, taking the keys shakily. “O-okay,” his stutter was cute and made Ilya smirk, knowing Shane didn’t have this reaction from anyone else. 

Ilya raised his voice slightly, pulling away from him, knowing nobody else in the room spoke Russian, “khoroshiy mal'chik.” Shane’s face flushed impossibly darker. Shane liked being taunted in public, that much has been a staple in their relationship for years, but he wondered if he also liked him saying dirty things to him in Russian loud enough for everyone to hear but not understand.

Ilya took the fastest shower of his life, hoping nobody on his team noticed he was half hard. At least they all knew why he got hard playing Montreal now. He quickly threw on clothes when Cliff left the shower. 

“Rozy, congrats man!” He said loud enough for the entire locker room to hear. He wanted everyone to know he supported him. He wanted to be the first opinion Ilya heard. 

“Thanks,” Ilya said smiling. 

“Which one of you tops?” Connors asked, snickering. 

“Nobody asks how your wife likes it,” Cliff said, clearly annoyed but trying to come off as joking. 

“So Rozanov bottoms,” another one of the guys jeered. 

“Is our business,” Ilya said, throwing his stuff in his bag. “I’ll see you guys in two weeks,” he called, throwing an arm over his shoulder to wave. A couple team members waved back, most of the team however, were still in the showers.  

“You took so long,” Shane whined when Ilya got in the car. 

“Went as fast as I could,” Ilya responded, smiling before kissing Shane softly. “Home?”

“Home.”

—

The doorbell rang a good five or six times before Ilya opened his eyes, groaning. It was 7:56. He blinked. “Shit,” he said under his breath. He bolted up in bed before reaching for his phone. 

—

Queens of Hockey

Ilya: will be down in a minute

fell asleep

Jules: You must be reallyyy tired from the game 😉

Mica: We won’t judge… if you hurry up

Ilya: one minute

promise

—

“What are you doing?” Shane grumbled, turning to where Ilya was randomly grabbing clothes from his closet. 

“The girls are here,” Ilya said, pulling a shirt over his head. “Early.”

“When did you have an alarm set for?” Shane asked, sitting up to rub his eyes and yawn. 

“7:58,” as if on cue, an alarm went off on his phone. Ilya laughed when Shane jumped. “I will meet you downstairs, da?” 

“Yeah, be down in a minute,” Shane said, yawning again, making no move to get up. Ilya smiled softly, walking over to kiss him gently. “Don’t leave them waiting, I love you,” Shane said, smiling as he pulled away. 

“I love you too,” Ilya responded, smiling softly before he all but ran downstairs. He opened the door and the girls came flooding in. 

“You are late, mister,” Jackie said sternly, though she was smiling widely. 

“Da sorry, Shane will be down in a minute,” he responded, shutting and locking the door. 

Mica and Jules shared a look before bursting out laughing. “Sorry, sorry, we both thought you’d be late because you were having sex,” Mica said, wiping the tears from her eyes. 

“We were not having sex, we were sleeping.”

“Because you were tired of sex?” Jules asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Ugh can we stop talking about sex? I want to have wine,” Jen groaned, already in the kitchen looking for a corkscrew. 

“Is in the drawer next to the sink,” Ilya said, going over to help. 

—

They were through their first bottle of wine before Shane came downstairs, in sweatpants and one of Ilya’s hoodies. He still looked groggy but he smiled as he came over to claim his spot beside Ilya on the couch, snuggling in his side as Ilya put his arm around him. 

“So how exactly did this happen?” Jackie asked, pointing her wine glass between the two. 

“Ilya gave me his water and then touched himself in the showers,” Shane mumbled, already drifting back to sleep. 

“What? You did it for the first time in the shower?” Mica said, in disbelief.

“No, is not true, we went to his hotel room,” Ilya corrected himself. “He came in like ten seconds.”

“You didn’t last much longer,” Shane grumbled.

“Oh my god,” Jules said, laughing. “Was it your first time with a guy?”

“Yes” at the same time as “no”.

“I’m so shocked,” Jen said, rolling her eyes, taking another sip of her wine. 

“Was Ilya how you realized you were gay?” Jackie asked. 

“Mm no, first guy to come on to me though. I don’t know why I reciprocated, was stupid,” Shane’s hand moved to rest on Ilya’s thigh, his hand playing with a loose string on his shorts to keep himself awake. “I’m happy I was stupid.”

“Me too,” Ilya responded, kissing the top of his head. 

“You two are so cute,” Mica said as if she was looking at a puppy. 

“Oh my god, speaking of,” Jules said, her voice way too loud, taking another sip of wine before continuing, “congrats on coming out? How have we not said this?”

“I texted him,” Jackie said, shrugging. 

“Well I think it deserves a toast,” Jules said, rolling her eyes. 

“I second this,” Mica said at the same time as “same” from Jen. 

“Shane doesn’t drink,” Ilya said, frowning. 

“So? You can toast with any beverage,” Jackie said smiling. She handed Shane, who was now sitting up, a giant bottle of ginger ale. “A congratulations gift,” she clarified at his confused face.

“Thank you,” Shane said, smiling softly. 

“Okay, here’s to the happy couple,” Jules said, raising her glass. 

“Here’s to the MHL not being total dickheads about love,” Mica chipped in. 

“Here’s to the players not being total dickheads about love,” Jen added. 

“Here’s to many more years with you,” Ilay said, smiling down at Shane. 

“Here’s to no more secrets,” Shane said, smiling back at him. 

“Here’s to many more Boston Tea Parties,” Jackie said, smiling at them all before all could be heard were classing clinking, cheers, and laughter. 

Chapter End Notes

Thank you all for reading!! I will hopefully be posting more Hollanov fics soon but we’ll see, the AO3 has curse already got me 😔💔