Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Rose Landry

Additional Tags:

Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Crack, Good Friend Rose Landry, Shane Hollander is Bad at Flirting, POV Shane Hollander

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-04-08 Words: 1,858 Chapters: 1/1

How to Seduce Your Rival in Five Easy Steps

Summary

Step One: Flirt!
Step Two: Figure out what flirting is.
Step Three: Attempt flirting again.
Step Four: Why is flirting so difficult. :(

Even Rose Landry might not be able to save Shane Hollander's flirting game, but she's going to do her best to try to help him seduce his crush, Ilya Rozanov.

Notes

There was a reddit thread about writing fics with Shane pursuing Ilya, so here is my fluffy version of it. :)

Video transcript:
Interviewer: Do you think you can make a difference for a team that hasn't been to the playoffs in fifty years?
Rozanov: Yes, I believe they will rebuild the team around me and find success. What was the MLH record last season for most goals scored? I only know the KHL record, which is held by me.
Interviewer: Shane Hollander scored seventy-four goals last season.
Rozanov: I will score eighty-one.

Shane had a plan. He'd prepared a pickup line Rose had assured him was a "banger" and googled a few more to rehearse as well. Rose had said there were no good pickup lines on google, but why would they be there if they didn't work?

Shane skated up to the face off with Ilya Rozanov and readied his first line.

"Did it hurt?" he asked, exactly like he'd practiced in the mirror that morning.

"What?" Rozanov said. "Winning?"

Shane almost lost track of what he was doing at that, but he managed to stick staunchly to his script. "When you fell down from heaven."

Rozanov looked at him blankly. Shane won the face off.

"Are you tired?" Shane asked during a time out.

"No, could play another hockey game after this one, I think." Ilya stretched his arms casually.

Shane blinked and refocused. "Because you've been running through my mind all night."

"What? What are you-"

Shane skated away.

He didn't get a chance to execute the next one until they were leaving the rink at the end of the game. It was time to try out the line Rose had written for him. "Oh," he said, "Oh. Your eyes are the exact shade of blue the sky is when it reflects off the lake at my favorite place in the world." Shane immediately went to rejoin his team, satisfied that he'd done an excellent job of flirting.

Shane went to the bar of the hotel where Rozanov was staying because Rose said he should meet him on his own turf. This time he knew the end goal was a phone number. He didn't have any more pickup lines prepared so he was going to have to wing it.

Ilya was sprawled in a booth, one arm draped around a blonde woman and the other around a brunette.

Shane took a deep breath and approached him. "Hey, I think I forgot something when I was talking to you earlier."

Ilya stared at him. Shane fought down the self-conscious urge to check if there was something on his face.

"Freckles. I mean, what do you want, Hollander?"

That seemed like as good an opening as any. "Your phone number?"

"So you can sign me up for spam call lists?"

"Uh." This wasn't going well.

The brunette woman's gaze darted between the two of them before she held out her hand. "Svetlana."

Shane shook her hand. "Shane Hollander."

"Yes, I know." She smiled.

"And I'm Holly," the blonde woman said. "Rozanov's girlfriend."

Oh no.

"Sorry, umm, I didn't- I have a team meeting. Bye."

"Wait," Rozanov said. Svetlana handed him a pen from her purse and Rozanov scrawled a series of numbers on a bar napkin. "My phone number. You needed it for something, yes?"

"Right. Yes. Thank you." Shane shoved the napkin in his pocket and escaped.

Rose had decided that the situation called for a bestie brunch. Shane had gone ahead and invited Hayden, Jackie, and JJ as well.

"I don't know," Jackie said. "He already has a girlfriend? Seems complicated."

"I can find you another guy," JJ said. "My gym has a gay yoga instructor. I could set you up."

"Thanks, but I'm not really looking to be set up right now."

"You think chasing a man is the better option?" JJ asked.

Shane's phone dinged for the fourth time since the start of brunch. "Sorry," he said as he checked it. "He keeps sending me dog pictures. And memes. Pictures of Snoopy with the caption 'it's literally you.' I don't get it."

"Aww," Rose said. "He's sending you dog pictures? That's... weird, but endearing. Are you sending him anything back?"

"Gifs from some hockey games. There was a funny one about Hunter sliding into the net."

"You are never getting laid," JJ said.

"Why doesn't Shane just seduce him?" Hayden asked then took a bite of his omelette. "Shane is hot. Just do the Legally Blonde move, you know, the bend and snap."

Everyone at the table except Jackie paused to stare at Hayden.

"What? I'm straight, not blind. And that's Jackie's favorite movie."

"No, it isn't," Jackie said. "Hayden is the one who loves that movie. He loves when they solve the crime with the perm."

"Jackie!"

"Where would I seduce him?" Shane asked. "While playing hockey? That doesn't seem practical."

"The gym," Hayden and JJ said simultaneously, which was weird but okay.

"I can't just show up at his gym."

"Say you're visiting your parents and ask where you can work out while you're there."

"I guess I could do that."

"Get on the elliptical and make those little moan noises," JJ said. "He'll lose his mind."

"I don't make- What?"

Shane showed up to the gym Ilya had invited him to in the sluttiest workout outfit Rose could find for him. In an attempt to follow Elle Wood's advice (Hayden had made him watch the movie, but Shane drew the line at wearing a bunny costume) Shane went straight for the dumbbells after stretching and began doing reps of a bent over row.

Ilya had barely acknowledged him after giving him a guest pass and was studiously not looking in his direction at all, which meant all this effort was wasted.

Shane got on the elliptical right beside Rozanov and cranked up the resistance to match his. Rozanov still didn't look at him, but he turned the dial on his own elliptical up higher. Not to be defeated, Shane cranked his resistance up even higher. Shane hadn't meant to exhaust himself with what was just supposed to be a sexy workout, but he was gasping for breath when he finally gave up and slammed the stop button. He collapsed beside the elliptical. Ilya threw himself down beside him and started giggling.

"Shut up. I'm faster than you on the ice."

"Sure, Hollander, keep telling yourself that."

Shane got his breath back and remembered he was supposed to be committing a seduction. "So." He should have googled this part more extensively than the sexy workouts. "You wanna, you know."

"Know what?"

Shane took a frustrated drink of water. "Have sex?"

"Here?" Ilya had the audacity to smirk at him. "It's a public gym. Might get complaints."

"Not here, asshole, in your apartment."

"Okay."

Well, that had been easier than expected. "Your girlfriend won't mind?"

"Ah, we broke up. Only dated for a week, I'm not ready for a commitment."

"Okay, great."

"Are you sure you should be hooking up with your rival?" Hayden asked as they were hanging out in their hotel room after a game in Toronto.

"There's no rule against it," Shane said.

"There's also no rule saying not to jump off a bridge after your friends."

"There's actually laws against that."

"You get my point! What if someone accuses you of match fixing?"

"There's siblings on rival teams, I think I'll be fine. Hey, question. How did you get Jackie to commit to you?" Shane fiddled with his phone. Seducing Ilya had worked, but Ilya still wasn't officially his boyfriend and Shane was worried Ilya had no interest in abandoning his playboy lifestyle.

"Um, ouch? I'm a catch." Hayden threw a pillow at him.

"Sorry, I meant, how did you talk her into it?"

Hayden sighed. "We just discussed kids and stuff and realized we were compatible."

"Compatible. Got it."

There was no time before sex to ask, so Shane held onto his question until right afterwards.

"How many kids do you want?"

"What the fuck, Hollander, you know I can't get you pregnant, yes?"

"That's not what I meant! I was just asking for compatibility reasons."

Ilya paused. "I think we are extremely compatible."

"Then be my boyfriend."

"Okay." Ilya kissed the back of his neck and slowly pulled out of him.

Works inspired by this one

[Podfic] How to Seduce Your Rival in Five Easy Steps by RattleandHum (ThirdEye1234)