Rating:

General Audiences

Archive Warning:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category:

Multi

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Hayden Pike/Jackie Pike, Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike & Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike & Jackie Pike & Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Hayden Pike, Jackie Pike, Hayden Pike's Children, Amber Pike

Additional Tags:

Kid Fic, POV Outsider, Misunderstandings, Ilya Rozanov is Good With Children, Uncle Shane Hollander, Uncle Ilya Rozanov, Good Friend Hayden Pike, BAMF Jackie Pike, Family Fluff, Found Family, Crack Treated Seriously, Queer Families

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-02-09 Completed: 2026-03-04 Words: 40,346 Chapters: 11/11

Amber Pike Has Three Dads

Summary

I mean she doesn’t at least not **legally**, but definitely emotionally. But when you are getting most of your gossip out of the mouth of babes some things get lost in translation. One outsider’s perspective on how they assumed their child’s classmate had three fathers for most of the school year.

Chapter 1: September

September

“Amber Pike has three Dads.” The phrase had caught her off guard when her six-year-old son had muttered it one day at the dinner table in late September.

The move to Ottawa, hell to Canada, had been thoughtfully planned and carefully executed. America was a shit show, especially for families like theirs and while they had known they would find more liberal ideals in the Canadian capitol it had been nice to finally hear of some actual queerness in their high-end neighborhood.

Chelsea Smith looked across the table at her wife Tiffany, who was looking down at Robbie with a wide smile of relief on her face. “Families can come in all different shapes and sizes.” She caught Chelsea’s eyes and smiled.

After all their kid had four moms.

Chelsea and Britanny had been together since college, after a decade they thought that having a kid was the next step in their relationship. But within two years they had split, Britanny had met Kelsey and Chelsea met Tiffany and suddenly there were four of them parenting the same child. Robbie didn’t mind. He liked having four moms and enjoyed the little sisters which each of the couples had provided him with in the following years.

But now as their son entered the Ottawa public school system it was clear just how strange their parenting arrangement was.

Divorced or multiple families weren’t uncommon anymore. What was uncommon was four lesbians with rhyming names squished together at their kids’ table on back-to-school night. The quartet of them in stark unwavering support, getting along cordially while more than one of the separated straight couples had been glaring daggers from opposite ends of the room.

Robbie was their kid. They co-parented with militaristic precision to communicate and get along to make his childhood as well rounded as possible. After all, if you wanted shit to get done, putting a lesbian in charge was your best bet. Four lesbians just meant there were color coded binders, shared document drives and detailed joined calendars. There was no ego involved, no parent better than the rest, it was shockingly streamlined now that they had been doing it for years.  But the communications from the classroom teacher, and the ease of school runs, made it clear they were an exception. 

Chelsea hadn’t noticed an abundance of men in the room on that back-to-school night the week before. Especially not any men whom she could clock as queer, but that didn’t surprise her too much, she was still struggling to keep up with who Robbie’s classmates were as well. The notion that there was another queer family in the class would become a topic of discussion in the group chat later that night.

Tiffany was gently asking him questions, trying to get more information out of the boy who was picking at his chicken with a fork. “Amber moved here too.” Robbie glared at his two-year-old sister Emma, making a mess of some mashed potatoes and carrots with jealousy that she hadn’t been subjected to using utensils.

“That’s nice, do you know where from?” Tiffany asked him.

It was something that started with an M, but that was all they managed to get out of the first grader before he trailed off in another topic of conversation not swinging back to the little girl in his class with three dads.

Later that night after the kids had gone to bed Chelsea sent out a text to the group chat between the two couples, cutely named the “R’s elite squad”

Chelsea: Amber Pike (Robbie’s classmate) has three dads.

Kelsey: Throuple?

Tiffany: In this neighborhood… unlikely.

Brittany: Probably divorced.

Tiffany: Don’t know yet. Robbie just mentioned it over dinner.

Chelsea: Didn’t get much more info. Other than new kid as well.

Brittany: Thx!

Kelsey: We’ll keep our ears open.

Kelsey: Glad we’re not the only queer family. 

Brittany: I have pick up tomorrow.

**

It was the dog that caught her attention the next time she was sitting in the pickup line in front of the elementary school.

Chelsea was doing her best not to be distracted by her phone when she caught sight of the dog in the car behind her. Unlike most of the designer dog breeds that she saw in the pickup line it was calmly waiting mutt in the passenger seat. It bore excitement in its eyes as it waited for its favorite small humans to return to the car, yet its well-trained behavior mirrored the driver perfectly, an incredibly muscular Asian man with dark sunglasses gently tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

She let her eyes travel to the fancy laminated nametag that sat in the window that served as a reminder that they were all firmly in their child chauffeuring era. Pike.

So, this was one of Amber’s dads. Not what Chelsea had expected to be honest.

She had finally managed to figure out which child was Amber two days before when she was volunteering in the class. Amber had been cutely dressed in a matching sweatsuit set that was approximately seasonally themed, her mousey brown hair in elaborately twisted pig tails with color coordinating bows. She had been cute, but a little chaotic in their brief meeting.

This muscley man who looked like he would be more at home a CrossFit gym rather than doing elaborate braids, though his own hair was down around his shoulders in way that seemed masculine and modern. She let her eye wander back to her rearview mirror to get a better look at him. He was wearing athleisure, but something about the cut of the fabric and the way he held himself reminded her of those Tik Toks she saw of dads at Costco who appeared to be wearing boring clothes, only to be dripping in thousands of dollars of cashmere and leather. He had a large golden watch on his wrist, a dark wedding ring flashing on his left hand and from time to time he would pet the dog with a calm and steady hand. The car was a Range Rover, not uncommon at all in these parts, but from what she could see of its interior it was spotless. Not like her beat up SUV, that was blessedly not a Subaru, though she and Tiffany had already conceded their next car would be, that was covered in a layer of grim and politically radicalized stickers.

She wanted to give him a small wave of recognition but that felt awkward. While her own outward appearance made it clear that she was a card-carrying member of the alphabet mafia, his didn’t not. Maybe it wasn’t one of the Pike’s fathers, maybe it was a nanny or au pair. After all some of the kids who attended the school had locally famous parents. A few were the offspring of the local evening newscasters, politicians or the son of a prominent furniture salesmen with catchy advertisements.

 The line lurched forward and she paid attention to the road, not wanting to get into a fender bender here of all places. She took a moment to glance behind her, watching as he mouthed the words of one of her bumper stickers and smiled to himself.

She felt her heart warm a little before she pulled up into the number one slot and her rear passenger side door was open for Robbie to come running into the car, coat in hand, toque barely on his head and his face a bright red. The door shut behind him and Chelsea pulled forward into the catchy named ‘loading zone’ to get out of the car and buckle him into his booster seat.

Emma had woken up at the sight of her brother who was yelling at the kid behind him. “Bye Amber!”  Her son turned and looked at her with excitement. “Mom that’s Amber.” He said tugging on her sleeves and not at all subtly pointing out the kid as if Chelsea didn’t just hear him.

Cheslea looked out of the corner of her eye at the Range Rover which had followed behind them into the loading zone. The man getting out of the car wasn’t that tall, but he had a commanding presence. “Jade, your coat better be in that backpack.” His voice carried a recognizable tone, and Chelsea slowed down her movements to overhear as much as the conversation as possible. Sue her, she was desperate for the gossip of her child’s classmates, it was far better than any reality show that existed.

The three other children who were getting into the Range Rover all had brown hair and had enough similar facial features to be clearly related.  A set of identical twins who mercifully had their hair cut and styled drastically differently and a boy who was maybe a grade or two older than the youngest.  They seemed comfortable and familiar with the man even though it was clear he was likely not related to them biologically.

A twin who had hopped into the front seat of the car shot back quickly, “It is.”  She was far more focused on the fact that she was closest to the dog and letting it joyfully lick her face.

The boy had murmured something soft that was lost in the shuffle of kids and safety belts. “No, we can do that after practice.” The man replied softly to him before loudly telling the older child, “Open it up and show me the coat Jade.” It was clearly parental.

There was an exasperated sigh that placed the child easily in her later years of primary school as she produced the hood of a puffer coat as evidence. Chelsea chuckled to herself, feeling a distant but very familiar connection to the struggles that were momentarily the major stressor in Amber Pike’s father’s world, coats that never made it home, lunch boxes that showed up weeks later harboring the beginnings of mold-based science projects. This was a horrible time to try and strike up the conversation with Amber Pike’s father, but she added the task to her mental to-do list.

The other twin was jostling for something that was in a console or seat pocket. Amber’s voice cried out in the small little cry of a tattling sibling. “Ruby is playing with your tablet.”

The man rolled his eyes as he did one final checks of seatbelts. Chelsea looked at her own son for a moment, knowing he was truly secure and she was beginning to hold up the line. “Ruby.” He was exasperated.

“Dad said I could use the tablet after school.” The aforementioned Ruby whined.

The man plucked it out of her hands. “Yeah, his tablet not mine though. Last time I let one of you use my tablet you changed it all to Russian.”

His son let out a giggle. “Ilya can read it.”

The man shut the rear doors and moved back aground to the driver side. He nervously pulled his hair into a messy bun on the top of his head as if it would mentally fortify him for the evening ahead and then gave the standard nod of recognition to Chelsea. The last thing she heard before him chuckled before he got back into his car was: “So glad your sisters married us.”

She focused on getting back into her own car and keeping the pickup line moving forward as she replayed the statement over in her head. The syntax seemed strange, but there had been truth to his words and Chelsea was certain that she had heard him correctly. She just shrugged, now officially on the lookout for Pike dads’ two and three.

Chapter 2: October

Chapter Notes

Thank you so much for all your comments and kudos on this silly little idea I have rolling around in my brain. I’m glad so many of you are looking forward to where this goes.

Also, it just takes just once for a kid to confidently call you their parent for others to believe it to be true. Speaking from experience….
….more than once….
It’s happened to me more than once.

 

More than twice too.

October

At least it wasn’t raining or snowing. Their breath hung in the nighttime air like glitter after the sun had set completely by an ungodly hour, but according to her neighbors this was about as optimal trick-or-treating weather that they got this far north. That was as much as Chelsea could hope for as she and her ex-wife’s new wife navigated the wagon filled with two toddlers down a dark Ottawa suburban street on Halloween.

Robbie was joyfully skipping ahead of them, likely sweating buckets beneath his dinosaur jumpsuit costume as he skittered ahead, finally relieved that he was old enough to walk to the front doors of the houses unassisted while his mothers hung back on the road.

To be honest, this was the first time he had been properly trick-or-treating. Their town in Georgia had been a bit too rural to safely justify letting the hamlet’s children run around in the twilight hours. A regional megachurch had successful convinced everyone that trunk or treating was the safest option a decade ago, and the four of them had taken turns taking the kids every year. Never fully feeling comfortable with all four of them showing up in a place that was the very bare minimum of tolerant towards them.

Here though, in this large neighborhood in Ottawa, trick-or-treating was a given. While the homes were spread often had large hedgerows or far set back driveways to grand entrances there was no lack of dazzling decorations and pumpkins to light the way. It was like something she had only seen or heard others mention from their own suburban childhoods. She had been hearing whispers of king-sized bars and treats for grownups all week during her interactions with classroom parents. The crisp fall night abuzz with an excitement that felt nothing short of magical.

Now it was just her and Kelsey taking the kids, not because they were timid to be out as a family unit, but because someone needed to stay at their respective homes and hand out candy.

“Mumma?” Robbie was looking at Kelsey, “Can I go to that one on my own?”

He was pointing at a large sloping upwards driveway paved with red bricks that lead to a large house where one of the three car garage doors was open to reveal a flashing strobe of lights and rolling fog emitting from within.

Chelsea followed Kelsey’s gaze to what she could only assume was a small, haunted set up, immediately something clutched within her. At his age she would have been far too fearful to venture into the smoke alone. “You brave enough?” Robbie gave an enthusiastic nod to Kelsey and she gave him a firm nod of conformation, “Okay then, don’t forget to say thank you.”

Robbie ran off, candy bag flapping in the wind as he skittered up the long driveway turning into a blur with the rest of the neighborhood kids. Kelsey turned her attention to the smallest pumpkin clad child in the wagon, Ruth her and Brittany’s child was only experiencing her third Halloween, and she seemed to be more confused about being out in the dark than anything else.

It was loud and noisy, and the air was filled with a buzz of excitement that seemed to codify all the struggles that it had taken their family to get to this place and time. “I can’t tell if this is all overboard or not.” Kelsey said softly as she adjusted the toque on top of Ruth’s head that served as the stem to her pumpkin costume.

Chelsea was about to give a response when a little girl ran down the driveway in a vividly neon small recreation of a roller blading Barbie. She was sprinting down the driveway, clutching onto her precious candy into the arms of an awaiting adult-sized Ken.

That movie wasn’t even out yet, and already there had been many variations of Barbies and Ken’s walking the streets of Ottawa that night.

This Barbie in question was Amber Pike running into the tall arms of a blonde man who was definitively more muscular than Ryan Gosling’s Ken. 

“Papa, pop…pop.” She jumped and he caught her, pulling her up and into the air so that she rode easily on his shoulders a good seven feet above the sidewalk. “They had a smoke machine, and a big skeleton that moved and when you tried to get the candy out of the bowl this hand grabbed you and… and … and it was terrifying.”

The man was nodding along to her babbling, his face a perfect model of active listening. “Yes, yes, I’m sure it was so scarry.” His thickly accented voice was dripping with sarcasm yet it was clear that he was playfully ribbing her. “Come on, we need to catch up to your father and siblings.”

“I’m a big girl who doesn’t have to ride in the wagon this year. I get to go at my own speed.” Amber said beaming with pride as she kicked her legs in the air as if she really was a roller-skating Barbie. In fact, the neon yellow skates were the only thing off from the outfits, they both had on a much more sensible pair of running shoes.

“Yes, yes my little trout.”

Amber wrinkled her nose at her father’s fish-based nickname. “Eww.”

The man gave a good-natured laugh, “Little Salmon then.”

She playfully pulled at his dark golden curls the only major feature which distinguished him from looking like a recreation of the movie Ken. “No! Not Salmon, Dyadyushka will eat me.” She was overly dramatic, as if it was a catastrophic fate that she was doomed to.

Her father grabbed her by the legs, lifting her up and over his head once more with featherlight ease and began to tickle and roughhouse with her. “Oh yes, we must eat the salmon. Tasty, tasty salmon.”

Amber had dissolved completely into a cascade of joyful giggles as she squirmed in his grasp while clutching onto her bag of candy. Her peals of laughter turned into wheezing as he placed her down firmly on the ground stepping back to let her catch her breath.

It was a moment that was just plain adorable. Amber Pike and her Papa were about to continue on their path without interacting with Chelsea and Kelsey until a particular dinosaur came running down the driveway calling after her. “Amber!”

“Robbie!” the two children ran towards as if they hadn’t seen one another in years; let alone forget the fact that they saw each other at school a few hours ago.

The man in the impressively detailed and screen accurate Ken costume turned and looked at the boy, catching sight of the two women and the small family. He took a few steps towards them and Chelsea was struck by just how tall he really was. His height was imposing, towering and yet he seemed almost timid as he approached them.

His face formed in a well-practiced smirk as if public relations were his job as he introduced himself with a name that Chelsea had no clue how to spell. He shook hands, chuckled at their rhyming names and their long-winded explanation of how they were co-parents but not together in that way.

He nodded along to their parental pleasantries while the kids were comparing which houses on the street they had already been down and where they were going next, as if either of them had the stamina to make into the late hours of the evening rather than crash out in about an hour.

A gaggle of teenage boys wearing their sports jerseys and uniforms as their costumes came up the drive, accompanied by two sheepish-looking elementary-aged kids in superhero costumes who seemed almost embarrassed by the teen’s enjoyment of trick-or-treating. They paused for a moment as the passed the small collection of adults, and Chelsea tensed unconsciously half expecting them to make a snark comment about the man in a matching outrageous costume with his daughter, instead their eyes glowed with enthusiasm as they recognized the neighbor.

The tallest one in a basketball uniform gave a wave, “Hey Mr. R.”

“Yo Cap!” One of them said with a fist bumping against his chest.

“Oh captain, my captain.” Another teen cried out dramatically, likely not even knowing what he was referencing.

The man whipped his head around with a great big goofy smile on his face taking a moment to high five and pat the boys on the shoulder as if they were long lost bros. The teens seemed starstruck.  “Stop by my house, tell my husband to give you lots of candy, Snickers, not the healthy stuff.” Ilya said with a joyful laugh. “And ask for toilet paper… for Hayden trick later.”

The teenagers muttered their awed thanks and hurried up the long drive to the haunted garage above them. Amber’s dad was pulling out his phone, gesturing at the two kids together. “Amber, I need picture for uncle Dinosaur.”  He took a hastily posed image of the kids who were now beginning to become desperate to move on then quickly handed his phone over to Chelsea, a text of the photo of the two kids ready to send to her.

She added her number quickly and sent the message, feeling her own phone vibrate in her pocket as she handed his phone back to him. They conversation fizzled out with a handful of ‘good nights’ and ‘happy halloween’s’ as the young children pushed their families down the road in different directions.

Half an hour later, Chelsea pulled her phone out of her pocket, looking at the image of her son beaming next to a perfectly poised roller-skating barbie. She saved the number making a guess as to how the man’s name was spelled: Eliah? (Amber Pike 2^nd Dad)

Later that night the group chat took off.

R’s Elite Squad:

Kelsey: home safe, r and r are down for the night

Tiffany: Thx

Kelsey: chels, send me ambers dads number

Chelsea: Check your texts.

Brittany: You saw second dad?  Jealous. I haven’t run into any of them yet.

Chelsea: Yep. He was the Ken to Amber’s Barbie.

Kelsey: like a far too screen accurate roller blading Ken for a movie that is six months away from releasing

Tiffany: Gay. Halloween.

Brittany: It is their Super Bowl

Tiffany: Their Christmas

Brittany: All straight male sporting championship events rolled into one.

Kelsey: lots of assumptions

Tiffany: In our own chat.

Chelsea: Please, our names RHYME!

Brittany: At least we don’t have matching haircuts.

Kelsey: he seemed like a really good dad

Chelsea: Super good with Amber

Tiffany: After the holidays we should try to get to know them all better.

Chapter End Notes

You cannot tell me that the Centaurs didn’t make a video of them lip syncing to I’m Just Ken after that movie came out. Harris would have been all over it.

Also, I am slightly embarrassed by just how much research my brain put into setting this correctly in October of 2022. Like I was triple checking what images had been released of the Barbie movie by then and whether Halloween was on a school night that year (Monday, in case anyone was wondering)

Chapter 3: November

Chapter Notes

Hi All,
Thanks so much for the support. I am blown away, it’s been ages since I have been in a fan space that is this on fire.

Going to try and keep to a Monday, Wed, Friday upload for this story.

November

The parents were expected to volunteer, that had been made clear when Robbie had been enrolled in the primary school. Once a week was ideal, but less frequently was understandable if a parents’ profession made it difficult for that to work out.  Chelsea and the squad had a rotation set up in the shared calendar. Chelsea and Tiffany trading off to help with art projects while Kelsey did weekly reading groups and Brittany did math on Tuesdays.

The majority of the classroom volunteers were mothers. The kind who had their own group chats and social groups that Chelsea didn’t understand nor really want to be a part of. She cared more about the actual concrete education her child was getting more than the aesthetics of the class party and how personalized everything was. It was just more drama that she didn’t need in her life, so she did her best to avoid it, though Kelsey and Brittany were always desperate to be in the know.

Chelsea did not pity the teacher who had to deal with distinguishing the five girls in Robbie’s class who all had the exact same shade of brown hair all day long. It didn’t help that four of them: Kaylee, Aubree, Bailee and Audrey all had shoulder length haircuts that were nearly indistinguishable from behind. Bailee at least had blunt bangs, and Kaylee wore bright purple glasses. Amber Pike had the same exact shade of brown hair as the other girls, with the advantage of frizzy curls that ended halfway down her back and a name that wasn’t in the top 100 list.

Amber Pike was easy to find in the sea of grade one students today. It wasn’t uncommon for most of the kids to have their names written in fancy custom vinyl on the back of jerseys from private summer sports camps or elite pay to play teams. Chelsea didn’t recognize the embroidered logo on the front of the jersey or make sense of the name Rozanov 81 stitched on the back, but noticed the care and attention put in the matching black and red bows adorning her space buns. She clearly wasn’t the best-behaved kid in class, Chelsea had overheard her mutter a few questionable things under her breath, but she had sat still enough for the story time and clearly had some academic skills. Though when no one else was looking she had that familiar look of a child who was far more chaotic than any parent had planned them to be.

Now Amber was on the floor waiting for Chelsea and the other parent volunteer, a rare father, to set up the supplies for the autumnal art project. They quickly distributed construction paper and crayons on the little desks while the teacher allowed the class to have their final few moments of free time. Chelsea and the father would be set up at the back table together to monitor the watercolor portion of the craft, one that was likely going to cause a mess. They moved to the small little kidney table as the teacher called the students back to their desks and began to explain the activity to them.

Chelsea sat on a chair that was just large enough to have been considered adult sized and looked at the large man next to her. He was maybe her age. It was surprising to her how bad she had gotten in the last handful of years at gauging the ages of adults. One co-worker who she had assumed was the same age as her had shocked her when he revelated he was old enough to be her father. This man was muscular, wearing a unbranded sweatshirt and expensive looking jeans, even before he introduced himself as Hayden, she knew he was yet another one of Amber Pike’s fathers. The resemblance was clear.

 Finally, a sighting of Dad number three. Chelsea felt a small rush of dopamine having metaphorically completed the set. There was a black support brace on his left elbow that seemed more complicated than the ones that could be purchased at the drug store. “You good?” She asked gesturing to it and then the rush of children who would be dawning on them soon.

He gave a quick nod. “Not broken, it’s an old injury. Just a preventive measure.” His hand waved, indicating that it wasn’t going to be any trouble. He gave another tense inhale.

“So, I heard you just moved here from….”

“Montreal.” He said in a strangled voice bracing himself for the small talk. She recognized the look, the mask that a queer parent had to put on when they were talking to someone they assumed was in a heteronormative relationship, doing heteronormative raising of children. She was aware that she was frustratingly straight passing in most situations.

“That’s in Quebec, right? My wife and I just moved up this summer from Georgia in the states. Though Robbie is my son with my ex-wife.”

Relaxation dawned on Hayden’s face. He looked at her with deep sympathy. “America has to suck right now for families like yours.”

“Especially the South.” She stated the obvious. “Luckily we all had jobs that allowed us to make an international move.”

He gave a nod, fiddling with the cups of water that had been set out for the art activity. “Shit yeah…that would be international.” He cringed once more at the swear and then blushed. “This is going to sound weird, but I know some really good immigration lawyers if you are having any troubles.”

Chelsea gave a small chuckle remembering the accent of the other Pike father she had run into on Halloween night. “No um… we’re all good on that front.” But she was deeply warmed by the sincere Canadian hospitality.

Hayden sighed in relief. “That’s great to hear. I work with a lot of guys from Europe. Getting Canadian citizenship can be an expensive and long process, even for Ilya. I mean Russia certainly doesn’t…” He paused and visibly bit his tongue as if he realized he was running his mouth once more.

“Oh, I met him back on Halloween.” Chelsea said with a large smile as she remembered the charismatic man. “He is great with Amber.”

That got an honest laugh out of Hayden. At that moment Amber turned and looked at her father. Hayden gave her a small wave with his good arm; and she stuck her tiny tongue out at him in return. “She’s a little too much like him.” He added under his breath.

“Why did you move to Ottawa?” Chelsea asked.

He shifted uncomfortably on the chair. “Work as well. My last job wasn’t…” There was a scowl that formed on his face, as if the wound was still too fresh and while he wanted to vent about it, she wasn’t the right person to do so. “I was there a long time, and it turned out to not be as much of a family as they claimed to be… but we a lot more help with the kids here in Ottawa.”

Chelsea cringed at the sentiment that still slipped from her lips easily. “Well, it takes a village.”  She gestured to the brace that was on his arm.

“You’re damn right.” His face flushed “School’s don’t have swear jars do they.”

She snickered. “I don’t think so.”

“Sorry I’m blabbering…”

“Don’t worry I’m just thrilled to be having a conversation that isn’t about Roblox.”

He smiled warmly at her, and she could tell that he was tempted to arrange a playdate for the kids right then and there, but their conversation fizzed out as the students began to mob their station, ready to watercolor over the crayon patterns they had made in their leaf templates. The task pulled all their attention away from any more adult conversation, but Chelsea still managed to get his number in her phone to arrange a playdate in some nebulous future. She stored the number as Hayden Pike (Amber’s 3^rd Dad)

R’s Elite Squad:

Chelsea: I have collected them all like Pokémon.

Tiffany: Wrong chat?

Chelsea: I have seen all three Pike dads

Kelsey: spill….

Brittany: NOW!

Tiffany: Is number 3 a twink?

Kelsey: old?

Chelsea: Just as gym bro-y as the other two.

Tiffany: What? Three gym bros together, isn’t that against the rules.

Kelsey: you’re confusing the rules of gay dating with band-cest again Tiff

Brittany: What are the rules of band-cest?

Tiffany: Never date within your own section….

Chelsea: She can tell you more horror stories when we meet up for Thanksgiving (American)

Tiffany: Preferably with different instrument families….

Brittany: Not feeling too proud to be American at the moment… can we call it something else?

Kelsey: what kind of pies do you want

Kelsey: Tiff, are you speaking from experience?

Tiffany: No. I always followed the rules. The best horror story I have is way too juicy to tell over text. Let’s just say we had to take sides in the literal divorce that divided the clarinet section for two whole years in undergrad!

Kelsey: i can’t wait

Chelsea: Back to the Pike kids…. I don’t get throuple vibes.

Brittany: So Asian dad is married to blonde (Scandinavian?) right.

Chelsea: Confirmed. But the one I met today, Hayden, is probably bio dad.

Chelsea: Also, I think Eliah is Russian, based on what Hayden said today about immigration and citizenship stuff.

Kelsey: shit… Russian and queer is a whammy

Brittany: So, which one was originally with Bio dad Hayden?

Kelsey: ell-ee-uh

Tiffany: Ilia (sp?)

Chelsea: Eleuh… I just get step-dad vibes from Asian dad.

Kelsey: don’t love that we still don’t have a name for him

Chelsea: Plus, Amber today was wearing a jersey with an R name on the back, and the teens on Halloween him Mr. R.

Tiffany: We gotta learn Asian dad’s name.

Kelsey: the most elusive father of them all

Chelsea: The holographic legendary one

Chapter End Notes

I mean Hayden is Dad #3. No doubt about it.

And if you have guessed it yet, our POV ladies are going to be oblivious to the professional hockey thing for the majority of this fic. May or may not be inspired by someone who I know who spent years thinking everyone was just a big fan of the postal service; not realizing it was the logo for the local football team.

Also, I imagine that Amber is like: “I’ll wear your number when you retire dad.”

Chapter 4: December

Chapter Notes

Enter the GOAT. The BAMF…. Jackie Pike…. God, I love her so much… ENJOY!

 

Also thanks for all the kudos and comments. They had really made my day in ways I can't describe.

December

She remembered class parties back in the day being a movie, pizza, and maybe some cupcakes. Now it had to be structured crafts, moderately healthy snacks and personalized goodie bags filled with fifty dollars’ worth of plastic crap for each student. There was a lot of grumbling from the group of mothers about the principals new rule that class parties were limited to one hour in length this year.  Chelsea had heard the bemoaning of bounce houses, popcorn machines and surprise grinch appearances of years past and wasn’t too worried about the lack of cultivating a ‘lasting memory’ with this year’s party that so many of the other Ottawa moms were worried about.

After not so subtly rolling her eyes, she had found herself relegated to work with the other half alienated mother who didn’t seem to fit into the clique who were adamant to quote ‘turn this room into a winter wonderland’ during the fifteen-minute recess break. One of the room mothers had tossed an obnoxiously large Christmas light necklace around her neck after seeing her lack of ‘festive cheer’, the woman in question had graciously not turned it on

“Jackie Pike.” She said rubbing their shoulders together as if they had been best friends for decades. “Amber is my youngest delinquent.”

Oh so, Amber Pike also had a mother.

She cleared her throat and tried her best not to seem too shocked, “Chelsea Smith.”

“One of Robbie’s moms, right? Hayden told me about volunteering with you last month. It took me a week to get the ‘washable watercolors’ out of his hoodie.” Chelsea chuckled, not wanting to admit that at one point she was sure that Hayden had let a few of the students sign their names on that arm brace of his as if it was a cast. “Were you spared any laundry drama?”

“I was.”

She watched Jackie rip open another package of garlands that they had been instructed to hang from end to end on the ceiling in a crisscrossed pattern with a vicious pull. “I’m pretty good at getting stains out of laundry but that almost made me throw in the towel.” Her voice was soft and playful in comparison to the way she had torn into the package.

Jackie Pike was the sort of woman who didn’t look like she had four kids, let alone given birth to them. Chelsea was doing her best not to judge the woman based on her slight and muscular built, but it was hard when her mind was now reeling to place together the Pike family structure.

Unlike a lot of the other mothers in their expensive athleisure, Jackie looked like she worked out. So maybe they all worked in a gym or had met that way. There was precision in her movements as she jumped up onto a desk to attach garland to the wall, a noticeable definition of muscle in her arms and her well-worn salt burned crimson sneakers were a brand popular a few years back.

A short woman with bleached blonde hair turned and looked at her with a surprised face. “Oh my josh Jackie, you moved in months ago and still haven’t found a housekeeper?” Laura Exetor, tone was filled with the shrillness of a mean girl that they all recognized as the room mother intruded in on their conversation.

There was a scrunch of Jackie’s nose and Chelsea watched as the woman slipped on a social mask, completely convincing Laura of the sincerity of the words that she spoke. “Well, we value letting our kids have chores around the house and modeling for them the equal load of domestic work.”

Laura blinked. She turned her attention to the infant strapped to her chest while she brainstormed her retort. Shockingly this was the first time that Chelsea had seen the ten-month-old girl in a color other than beige. Though, the blue snowflake printed outfit was just a few shades away from white. The kid was always dressed up like a doll, and it was clear that while Laura loved being a boy mom, she treasured the little girl she finally had after her two unruly sons.

“That’s so important, especially when you never know what their futures will hold. I take it the move was hard on the kids after setting down such firm roots in Montreal?”

Jackie snorted, and Chelsea felt the strong urge to protect this woman swell from deep within her. These micro-aggressions were something that she had spent a lifetime in the South hearing and putting up with, dealing with the façade of social niceties. She didn’t know much about the Pike family other than that the four kids and four adults seemed to be a kind a welcoming unit that didn’t deserve the hate that this bleached blonde woman was subtlety aiming at her.

Turns out, Jackie Pike was a woman who didn’t need any protecting, “Actually no, the move has been wonderful.” Her voice was warm and honest. “We’ve settled into the house now, the kids have found great friends at school, everyone on the team has gone above and beyond with welcoming us. Plus, it helps that Hayd also got a raise.”

The little girl on Laura’s chest gurgled. “Really?” She blinked in defeat. “Well good for him. When you are done with the garlands can you work on the photo backdrop.” She pointed to where two other mothers were wrangling a cheap sheet of decorative plastic with a shoddy generative image of a winter wonderland over the classroom teachers well organized number corner.

“No problem, thanks for putting all of this together Laura, it looks great.” Jackie replied, waiting until Laura had walked away and was out of earshot before she jumped down from the desk and leaned in towards Chelsea, her face cracking to show just how ridiculous she also thought this was for a grade one party. “Two of the guy’s coworkers got married this summer, and their apple orchard big gay wedding was more tasteful than this.”

She made a mental note to hang out with Jackie Pike more. “And probably cheaper.”

“Definitely not, but that’s on Harris for going overboard on the suits… for the dogs.”  She added with a chuckle.

“It was a human wedding and not a dog wedding, right?”

Jackie patted her affectionately on the arm. “Human. Thank God nobody has given Harris the idea to stage a dog wedding.” She added with another wry smile.

The class party strategically wrapped up with thirty minutes left in the school day so that the hordes of overbearing mothers could move their cars out of the bus lane and begin carting away their large decorations back to their houses for a prompt start of winter break. Chelsea hadn’t seen a need to linger and be a distraction for the teacher trying to calm down seventeen children the best they could when they were all abuzz, so she sauntered out to her car, which she had already parked in the appropriate spots for parents rather than taking up the bus lane.

She walked past a large Cadillac escalade with Québec plates where Jackie Pike was gently pacing around the tailgate while on the phone. It was the small finger wave of relief that made her slow down and listen in to the tail end of the conversation.

“Whoa, Cassie slow down…. You need what?” The was a long pause and Jackie rolled her eyes sympathetically.  “No, we’re on booze, I know gotta pay the dues as the new ones.” She chuckled once more. “Fridge space…. I guess we could defrost and brine one…but you still need…” She bit a bit at the corner of her lip in thought as her brain visibly worked quickly. “Shane and Ilya will have fridge space though since they are doing Christmas with his folks. Yeah, I have a key to their place I can grab it early in the morning and bring it over to yours…. Shit it’s a good thing the ground is frozen and he can’t…” Chelsea heard the other voice on the end of the phone call turn almost shrill and argumentative. A grin akin to the mischievous ones that Amber Pike had spread across her mother’s face. “Loud and clear, I don’t give him the idea. Okay, yeah, I’ll see you soon.”

She tapped on the screen to end the call and leaned dramatically against her own SUV, taking a deep and steadying breath that was too common for any parent this time of year. “Christmas plans?” Chelsea asked the inevitable conclusion for small talk based on what she had overheard.

“Boxing day.” She corrected curtly. For a moment there was silence filled by the sounds of chattering parents and younger siblings beginning to form at the front of the school in anticipation of their break. Jackie looked at her as if she was deciding whether to trust her, and relaxed, having made up her mind, “Apparently, the number of ways you can smoke a turkey is only limited by the number of smokers you have.”

“And how many smokers does this guy have?” Chelsea moved to lean against the car with Jackie, but rather having a semi-private conversation over here than join the mob of parents.

“Five I guess.” Chelsea gave a chuckle. “Are there even five different types of meat smokers?”

Something in Chelsea blossomed, a strange feeling of someone mentioning a topic which she was very familiar with. She was well versed with half a dozen types of barbecue, of the culture that surrounded it and the regionalities which she had listened to her relatives talk about at length. It was a wave of nostalgia for the world which she had grown up in, and the world which had cast her away with ease a decade ago. She felt her metaphorical walls go up once more, maybe they had been wrong about the Pikes all along, maybe the family wasn’t as safe as she assumed.

She was panicking, rapidly and internally and she knew that the silence was growing long between the two mothers, but she was also aware of wanting to over analyze every statement and syntax she used with Jackie Pike.  An hour ago, she had assumed this was one of the few mothers she could openly mention queer life without having to self-sensor herself, and now she was leaning up against her large American SUV, aware of her quite wealth and praying to the gay gods that she hadn’t gotten her hopes up for nothing.

“I grew up in the south in the states, so… yeah, lots of way to smoke meat. Barbecue seems weird for a Canadian boxing day tradition.”

Jackie chuckled, not catching the other woman’s internal panic. “Honestly, it’s a really nice group. I mean it sucks that Hayden is the newbie in the franchise, didn’t think I would have to experience all that again. Picking up all the tabs, having the shitty placement in the meal train, but it’s all worth it for safety, the welcomeness of it all. He was so pissed about how Montreal treated Shane.” She said that as if Chelsea understood the weight of the words.

“Montreal?” She said softly, slowly beginning to form a negative view of the city and whatever company they had all worked for. Some type of a firm, something with contracts. Laura had insinuated that the move to Ottawa had been a downgrade from whatever prestige the Pikes had found in Montreal. Clearly Jackie didn’t see it that way, it had obviously been a hostile work environment.

“After everything Shane had done for him. They just… Hayden was pissed enough to break his own contract.” She paused and there was anger on her face as well, disappointment “They just turned out to be a whole bunch of homophobic assholes. So yeah, now we are here, and it’s infinitely better. Even if it does mean I have to find a fridge space for five turkeys to defrost for boxing day.”

Oh, so maybe Montreal had not fired Shane because he was gay but at least made life so difficult that each family had relocated. Uprooted everything to find safety, just like how they had moved thousands of miles away and crossed a border for the same chance for Robbie, and their kids.

She felt her shoulders relax once more finding safety in the parking lot of an elementary school with a woman she had just met. Who did in fact seem to understand how the effect of always being on edge, simply because others hated you due to your identity made the moans of missing popcorn machines slide into a clear focus. Sure, everyone had their own problems, their own lives, that was what they were instilling in their own children. The privilege, safety and wealth of their safe Ottawa suburb provided that many others didn’t have made them guilty more than most.

She wanted to turn the conversation to something lighter than the eternal struggle for queer joy and liberation, “Five turkeys, on boxing day?” Chelsea chuckled, it seemed like a massive amount of food for the day after a big feast. Most people she knew just did leftovers and cleaned out their fridges in the week between Christmas and New Years.

Jackie looked down at her phone at the next text she had received and her face alight once more. “Five turkeys, two hams, a few kilos of smoked salmon, a few racks of ribs, probably a dozen chickens and if Dillon has had a good trip there might be some deer.”

She inhaled sharply, unable to hold back the bitchiness that diving headfirst into more at the time accessible gay male culture as soon as she left her parents’ house had imprinted on her,  “How many people is this straight middle-aged man who’s obsessed with getting his daily amount of protein macros feeding?”

Jackie cackled again and their shoulders tapped once more. “About forty adults, a dozen children and half a dozen dogs. Bood is very passionate about firing up the grill at every opportunity …. But he is also one hell of a friend and an ally.” She let out a sigh and leaned into her Cadillac. “I just don’t have the fucks to give to deal with those women in there. I take it you don’t either which is why you are hiding out here.”

Chelsea gave a shake of her head. “No, I don’t. You’re good a fitting in though, like a little spy.”

Jackie stuck her finger up to her lips in the universal sign for a shushing secret. “Yeah I am.” There was a twinge of pride in her voice. “I can fit in when I want to, but somehow, I hit my thirties and I ran out of fucks and the desire to fit in with people like that. The ones who will go about and refer to it as a ‘holiday party’, who try to be inclusive but are really…. the last few years have been tough, and I don’t want words of performative support anymore.” Chelsea took a moment to nod in support, letting the woman vent. Clearly their family had been through something big in Montreal, and she was doing her best to show through gentle nods and careful glances that she understood what they felt like. The Pikes weren’t the only ones who had been burned by those who were supposed to support them, that their world had shifted dramatically when they stopped hiding. “I thought uprooting the kids would be hard, I mean the twins are almost in secondary school now, I thought moving to a new city after over a decade in Montreal would be unfeasible, but it hasn’t it’s been freeing.”

“Its such a damn cliché, queer folks making their own families… but…” Chelsea paused.

“It’s the truth.” Jackie said softly as she looked at Chelsea with gentle pride in her face. “And it’s nice to find someone who gets it.”

Standing there in the parking lot, the hum of excitement for winter break building all the sudden it felt to Chelsea as if the world paused for a moment. The buzzing of children died down, the smell of rumbling car engines dissipated and all she could see was someone looking at her, smiling and choosing to be her friend. “Yeah, it is.”

“Okay.” Jackie seemed to snap out of her pensive moment. She handed over her phone. “Give me your number.”

Watching at the woman before her fell into a more jovial stance she felt the need to blurt out the question“Okay, I gotta ask about the car. A Cadillac really? Is this part of your spying agenda to fit in or do three row Subaru’s not exist in Canada?”

Jackie snorted. “Oh please, my grandfather and all of his multitude of siblings worked for Cadillac back in the day and if I ever bought a car that wasn’t from one of the big three, I’d probably be disowned or written out of some wills.”

“That makes zero sense to me.”

They swapped phones and numbers, “Oh my grandmother will be so pleased that I can pass on the stories of how Canada was an integral part of the success of the American car industry in the twentieth century, and then how it all burned down.” The school bell ran out. “Two weeks… we can do this right?”

They both shifted away from the Cadillac picking up the pace as they began to scan the crowd for their respective children. “Tis the season.”

R’s Elite Squad:

Chelsea: Well everyone sit down

There is a Pike mother.

I repeat there is a mother…a mother Pike…

The Pike Children have a mother….

Merry Christmas Y’all

Brittany: I knew I should have helped out at that class party.

Tiffany: What the actual…. FUCK!

Kelsey: i regret not sitting down

Chapter 5: January

Chapter Notes

In which Shane and Ilya do nothing to help clear up the misconceptions.

January

She had grown up with long winding country roads without names, where trees and broken-down cars acted as signage markers and most people lived in prefabricated homes in various states of repair.  Moving into the city for college had been an overwhelming adventure, making the long transition from someone who had once described her family home as right hand turn down the dirt road at the red mailbox off Route 57 to living in an upscale suburb with manicured lawns and front gates was still a shock.

It wasn’t a gated community that they lived in, though those did exist uncomfortably close by. Certainly, they had looked at a few houses within them, but that had been too much of a change for their family. Still, most of their neighbors had fancy electronic gates at the end of their long driveways and video doorbells. Their neighborhood was made up of a mix of houses in different architectural styles which had been added to in twisting streets over decades, rather than a premade community with matching houses and styles. Old money, Tiffany had said, rather than the new money McMansions being built on the outskirts of the city every day.

She had driven by the house that the child was now pointedly giving her direction to nearly every day on the way to work. A large home that fit the east coast vibe of the area; that was quintessentially American dream-esque; like a house from a beloved childhood movie in the nineties. Except it was real and two of Ambers parents lived in what she would classify as a mansion. She had been expecting one of the sleeker modern developments. One of the homes that had rich brown wood, black metal beams and glass exteriors, that was eco-friendly and had a slim profile that made it blend into nature. Not this house, not for two insanely muscular married men.

The kid in the backseat of her car let out a giggle. “We’re here!” Amber shouted, far more excited about the whole adventure than she possibly should be for a kid who had been left behind at the afterschool chess club.

When she had gone to pick up Robbie, Amber was waiting at the front of the school with him. When it became clear that she was the last kid waiting for a pickup, a text to Jackie had confirmed that a series of miscommunications meant that Amber had been forgotten in the shuffle of who was supposed to pick up which child. She didn’t judge the woman, who had been convinced that Hayden was picking her up, but Chelsea jumped to help and drop her off at her one of Ambers parent’s houses since she was already beside the kid.

Her beat-up car stopped at the big iron gate and a small dark camera flicked a deep crimson. Amber knew the code to the gate, but she confidently stated she wasn’t supposed to tell it to anyone. “Hey it’s Chelsea Robbie’s mom from school. I have Amber.” She spoke to the camera set in the deep red brick post covered with vines.

 She could hear the relief in the man’s voice on the other end. “Thank you so much. I’ll buzz you in.”

She rolled up her window and waited until the gate finished sliding out of the way before continuing up the driveway towards the grand house. There were two cars sitting in the roundabout drive, the impeccably spotless land cruiser, and a sports car that was an obnoxious shade of orange. Amber shifted in the back seat as she recognized the car. “Luca’s here!” She was impossibly excited and she put her hand on the door handle, the car not evening having come to a stop yet.

A side door, rather than the grand front doors opened, and the shaggy dog came running first, skidding on the icy snow as it barked gleefully. Shane as Chelsea had finally confirmed via Jackie’s text was pulling on a coat to keep the snow off him.

“This is so embarrassing.” He said as Chelsea got out of the car, followed by the children who were enraptured by the dog that was thrilled to be getting all the attention.

She looked at him with sympathy. “It happens.”

“Thankyousomuchfordrivingherhere.” He  mumbled as he waved Amber over to himself and wrapped her up in a protective hug. He was deeply, deeply humiliated, not even making eye contact with Chelsea as he looked down at his feet in shame. His shoulders twitched as if he had finally processed her sympathetic and baize reaction to a child being left behind at school “Not us. Usually, we are on top of it. Jackie takes the twins to dance on Tuesday, Ilya takes Arthur to soccer practice, but Hayden had to go to Montreal.”

“Eff Montreal!” Amber squealed at the top of her lungs.

He shifted from mortification to pure shock. “Amber Renee Pike!”

The kid grinned impishly, “Daddy says I am allowed one eff Montreal a week.”

“I highly doubt that.” He sighed, cradling his head in his hands and speaking into his tented fingers as he looked back down at the ground. “Hayden had to go to Montreal last minute to finish off some paperwork on selling the house there, and none of us remembered that chess club was starting today so I thought he had taken Amber with him and….”

“Shane.” She said the man’s name gently, as if speaking too loudly would spook him. She fought every urge she had to reach out and gently placed a hand on him. “She’s safe, the school would have called someone if I wasn’t there. Honestly given the directions Amber was able to give me to get to your house she could have directed an Uber here if needed. Take a breath.”

He looked at her, finally making eye contact and very slowly taking an exaggerated breath to calm himself down. She wasn’t going to leave him with Amber when he looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack. She stood calmly, letting the snow fall gently around them as the kids were distracted by the dog. It took a few breaths to bring himself back to the moment.

“Thank you.” He said calmly his voice and eyes pleading with her honestly.

She wanted to laugh, but instantly she judged that it wasn’t the reaction that would help this situation. “You’re welcome.” She said firmly hoping that he was able to parse out her sincerity.

He took another breath, finally completely blinking back into reality “Hey kids, let’s get out of the snow.” Her own son groaned. Robbie just wanted to play with the dog, “You can play with Anya in the house for a bit…. If that’s okay with your mom?” He looked at Chelsea for confirmation as if he had somehow read the kids’ mind and desires.

She nodded; they were in no rush to go home. So, they all followed the dog and Shane into the side door of the house, to a perfectly little arranged mudroom. It looked like something out of a New England domestic fever dream, with dark wooden panels forming built in cubbies on the walls for various winter equipment. There was a collection of snow boots and galoshes in both adult and kid sizes lined up beneath a variety of coats.  Each of the little cubbies was staged with a sense of personality and individuality as if Martha Stewart herself had arranged it all. No flashy name plates or tacky children’s characters just the clear signs that this was well lived in this space. There was even a small cubby dedicated to Anya, because of course their dog had just as many coats and boots as the kids did.  Shane shoved off his winter coat and placed it back in its designated spot as Amber without prompting took off her outermost layers.  Walking her in her stocking feet into the house with her bookbag and routine familiarity. Chelsea nudged off her own shoes, and indicated that Robbie did the same, both revealing their mismatched socks before they stepped into the rest of the house.

The styling was tasteful and not nearly as modern as she expected. Anya led the kids into the living room, which other than the absurdly large television and the photos of clearly queer male couple on the walls did not look like it belonged to two men. Anya led them over to a wicker basket filled with toys and they began to throw them around, the dog chasing them gleefully and returning then dutifully in an enthusiastic game of catch. She was tempted to chastise them for such a potentially damaging game indoors, but Shane didn’t seem to be worried about any breakables, and all the toys they were throwing were soft, so she let it continue.

Robbie had been asking for a dog for a long time. The move to Canada had been a good excuse for any of them to not get a pet, but now that they were here, she could imagine them fulfilling the stereotypical lesbians with a pit-bull mix or crusty chihuahua rescue in their future. This would not help their argument in not getting a dog now.

The large and expansive living room gave way to a kitchen that seemed absurdly large until you realized that it was likely filled with four kids on the regular. It also was currently occupied by a large blonde man who was chopping up an irrational amount of cabbage at the kitchen island.

“Little gem.” The man called out as he picked up a knife and began chopping the cabbage into thin ribbons.

She wouldn’t have been surprised if he was their chief. Shane and Ilya appeared to have the sheer amount of wealth to afford their own chief, but instead Amber gave him a toothy grin. “Hi Uncle Luca.” She snapped back at him as she placed her backpack down. “He works with Dyadyushka, Daddy and Papa.” She explained to Robbie.

Luca on appearance seemed like the kind who would drive a fancy European sports car. Orange wouldn’t have been her first choice of color, but what did she know about quarter of a million-dollar cars. She had been so deeply entrenched in culture of queer women who cared passionately about social and ecological justice for the last decade that she wondered if there was some newer subculture of queer gym bros had formed without her realizing it.

Amber turned her attention back to the dog and her friend, the two of them muttering to themselves about their day in the strange hopping conversational direction that only children could understand and enjoy. Chelsea took a step closer to the island in the kitchen, still watching the children but also looking at the man introduced as Luca. He was young, barely out of his teens with still a few traces of acne on his face. He was in command of the kitchen, three printed out recipes taped up to the kitchen cabinets for reference and while he seemed comfortable with the task it was clear from his knife skills that he was not their chief.

Shane finally calmed down enough to get his bearings looked between the food in the kitchen and the kid who had not been part of the dinner plans. “Hey Amber.” He called her back over and she approached the cabbage filled kitchen with slow careful eyes.

“Passport dinner?” she said

Shane nodded and pulled the three recipe printouts down from the cabinets and showed her the pictures of each, “Cabbage night, this is what we are making. Do you want to try it, or should I make you some chicken as backup?”

The little girl’s face scanned over the three images of the food with curiosity; Chelsea watched as her own son joined her as well. Suddenly fascinated by the previously terrifying cabbage, if Amber Pike was going to eat it, maybe Robbie would become interested in the vegetable as well. The red soup, Shchi seemed to immediately pass the Amber test of approval and the recipe card was placed gently back on the counter. The recipe for a cabbage salad was given an eerie nod. “Is this like Kimchi?” She said with a small frown.

Shane shook his head, “No its Japanese, it won’t be spicy and it’s not fermented… not sour.”  He added in simple clarification.

Amber looked at the image again of a mostly green pile of leaves with a few vegetables. “I’ll try it.” She said with great hesitation. The room waited on her queenly authority to continue. The final recipe, Krautfleckerl was met with the most scrutiny.

She stood on her tiptoes peering up onto the kitchen island and looking at Luca chopping away at the cabbage with a vendetta. Passport night, which Chelsea had quickly put together was made up of dishes from most likely Shane, Ilya and possibly Luca’s cultural heritage that shared a common ingredient. It was a charming idea that she needed to pitch to the group chat.

“Mushrooms?” Amber said the single word as a deeply entrenched threat, interrogating the man who had slowly placed down the knife to give her his full attention.

“It’s not beef stroganoff.” Shane said with all the weight of a memory that held some backstory and drama.

She gestured to the package of egg noodles sitting on the counter with a very wary eye. “It has the same noodles”

Luca who was doing his best to hide a smile as the father negotiated with his youngest daughter, gestured for her to look closely at the rest of the ingredients on the counter, even holding up a few to prove to her that there were no mushrooms near the evening’s dinner plans.

Amber sat back on her heels, looking at Shane with a small air of finality. “I’ll try it all.” The tension of her voice hinted that the manners of always trying new food had been well instilled in her. Satisfied with the interaction, Amber turned her attention back to Robbie and the dog.

Luca looked back at Shane, not able to fully interpret all the silent communication which had happened. “Heat the oven?”

Shane waved him off confidently “She’s going to end up liking it once she tries it.” He said back at Luca with a shrug as he walked over to the fridge.

“Can I get you some water?” He said opening the fridge door to reveal at least three different brands of water bottles on neat display as well as a variety of other beverages. So he was that type of rich, rich enough that fridge solely dedicated to beverages that looked like a restocking Tik-Tok. She did her best not to balk at the scene before her, to act as if this was a totally normal occurrence of her day and that she wasn’t some girl who had grown up in the backcountry of Georgia and not left state lines until she was seventeen.

She looked at the row of bottles, all different shapes and sizes and just muttered aloud the first one that she could easily read from her vantage point as she looked around the rest of the kitchen. Aside from the necessary mess to prepare dinner it was mostly clean, or at least cutter appeared to have well designated concealment spots. There only was the sleek metal beverage fridge decorated with a gentle hodgepodge of hand drawn kit pictures as well as event invitations. A small collection of lunch boxes was visible on an open shelf, a row of thick cookbooks was on display, some dog treats had been decanted into decorative glass containers, and a bowl of fruit sat in wait for someone to take a bite.

Over on the far side of the wall was a slim frosted glass panel that contained a large calendar. At first glance it just seemed like a large sheet of paper, but a flicker in the display revealed it to be a screen. The displayed calendar was meticulously well kept, color coded and marked with symbols that had meaning to those who live there. The names of cities were written in a bold red font, the first noticeable things from afar. Clearly places that were being traveled too, different cities scattered across the states and Canada, often multiple in a week that followed no logical travel trajectories. There were other notes as well, Anya’s appointments were marked in blue, Sunday dinners with ‘mom and dad’, business and foundation meetings. One sharp reminder about an appointment with the ‘tax dude’ that was either misspelled or a jest that Shane had left behind intentionally. There were detailed notes about the kids as well, a match for Ruby and Jade marked for this upcoming Sunday, Arthur’s art showcase this Friday, and a reminder next Thursday to take Amber to get her skates refitted. Today’s date had the notification in a deep shade of green, Arthur School Pickup-Ilya.

Shane caught her eye looking at his likely expensive if not personalized calendar system that was managed by some personal assistant. Geeze, Shane was likely personal assistant rich, she felt even more out of place. She watched as the shame prickled around the corners of his ears once more. His highly organized system had, at least in his mind, failed. “It was a mistake, right?”

She wondered if any sort of humor would make the situation any better, but settled instead on a personal tale, “When Robbie was about four months old, I got a very chill call from Brittany at the hardware store letting me know that bad news, her truck had been stollen and she needed to be picked up, but good news she still had the baby.” She cracked open the water bottle and took a long sip. “Things happen that we can’t control, at the end of the day they are safe and alive.”

A smile blossomed on his face once more “Hayden and Jackie are still convinced that they didn’t permanently mix up the twins when they were seven months old.” He leaned in and whispered. “Thankfully they have developed distinct personalities and senses of style.”

Amber came running back into the boundary of the proper kitchen, “Dyadya can I have a snack?”

Shane looked at his wrist and checked the large gold watch, that she clocked up close as a Rolex. She knew nothing about fancy watched, but she could guess those were real diamonds inlaid in it. “Dinner will be ready in an hour, so how about a small snack?”

Her nose scrunched up in thought before she nodded along in agreement. “Okay, carrots please.”

He swirled around, pulling open what appeared to be a cabinet door, only to reveal another fridge inside that had been built to perfectly match the cabinet. He reached in and pulled out a small bag of baby carrots, swirled to another cabinet and removed a small plastic bowl and plopped it down in front of her. “Carrots for the bunny.” He said with a smile. “Do you have schoolwork?”

“Just reading.” She shrugged.

He gave her a ruffle on the head. “Okay well after dinner you can pick out a book to read.”

She wiggled her shoulders, eating the baby carrots with a passion as if it was something other than a vegetable. “Do you have Sam n’ Firefly here? Daddy lost it at our house?”

“I think so.” Shane said and she went back to the living room leaving all but two carrots left in the bowl. Shane popped one in his mouth. “If we don’t have it Ilya will buy the digital version in a heartbeat. Hayden probably ‘lost’ that book on purpose, she’s been asking for it nonstop for the past six months.” He muttered under his breath and then looked back between his scheduled and unscheduled houseguests. “Thank you, Chelsea, for being there.”

She got the sense that it didn’t matter how many times she repeated herself, that she would still need to let him know repeatedly. “No worries, Shane.” The probability that he would likely have to return the favor in someway or another was high.

**

Chelsea looked up from her phone, the chatter of pick-up moms had gone quiet, replaced with just the sound of a few unruly toddlers running around with minimal supervision on the icy pavement. The silence of the adults was rare, normally they never stopped chattering about their accomplishments. She looked up to see what the cause of the commotion was.

Surely it wasn’t the dog they were all gawking at, though it was what her eyes were drawn to first, but rather the man who was holdings the leash of the booteed up and sweater wearing mutt.

Ilya was conventionally attractive; Brittany had mentioned that men like him were a reason she was ‘like a 5.75 on the Kinsey scale’. He seemed to be aware of the affect he had on others; as he stood off to the side of the walking home crowd that grew exponentially on the clear crisp days when parents were actually willing to let their kids trudge home through the snow.

The school bell rang and the school doors opened, and the children’s voices were a mix of excitement. Chelsea watched as Amber Pike took off through the crowd and ran towards him, jumping into his arms with excitement.

“My Anya, My Anya!” She cried out in delight of the dog and not the man. She took a dramatic beat and added expressionlessly, “Papa.”

Ilya lifted her up from the ground in a bone crushing embrace before placing her down again so she could joyously pet the patiently waiting Anya. “Glad to see you too Guppy.” He chuckled not bothered that the dog took priority over him.

Chelsea watched as three more kids with similarly brown mops of hair swarmed him. A boy a year or two older jumped into his arms with a bridal carry that most of the other father’s vanity muscles would have strained to contain. Ilya held him as if he weighed nothing, maybe he was a firefighter or something. Arthur snuggled with him for comfort, as the twins dropped off their pink and purple backpacks and took Anya’s lead, running with glee towards the playground.

“Jade… Ruby… No snowball fights and ten minutes!” He called out in a strongly accented English after them.  The schools head teacher was militant that the students never pick up the snow at school, even though it was Canada and snow covered most of the winter. The twins rolled their eyes at him mischievously and he sighed with exhaustion before he turned his attention to the youngest Pike who was talking with him animatedly.

Half of the mothers were still eying the father with shock, a few of them almost sheltering their kids away from him hurriedly as if to give the man his privacy. Her own attention turned to her son who was approaching her with his coat inside out and his backpack half open.

Amber Pikes large blonde father didn’t give a damn that they were all staring at him with three girly backpacks over his shoulder, and the clingy boy in his arms and frankly that was perhaps the most attractive thing about him.

She looked out of the corner of her eyes and saw them approaching her. One of the other mothers gasped.  “Hi.” He said almost sheepishly as he adjusted the boy in his arms. “Kel… Ch….?”

“Chelsea.” She said not expecting him to remember who she was when they had only met in person once. She gestured to the boy in his arms. “And this is…” asking since she had never been formally introduced to the boy.

“Arthur.” Ilya said his face beaming with pride at the little boy who seemed to have the same soft gentle eyes as he did.

She had been expecting something like Jasper or Onyx to complete the seemingly geological naming convention but didn’t ask further questions “Hi Arthur.” She said, but the boy in question just shyly turned more into Ilya’s chest and she let him be.

Amber was tugging on her Papa’s sleeve. “You have to ask?” She insisted and Chelsea knew where this was heading.

Ilya dramatically rolled his eyes as if he was about to launch into an entire spiel about how he had lost his memory and had no idea about what his daughter was asking for, but with another look at her pleading eyes and the mist hanging in the air from all of their breaths he cut to the chase.  “Amber said something about a birthday party?”

“Oh.” She reached into her tote for the paper invitations which were technically not supposed to be passed out on school grounds and handed it over to him. “Sorry it’s not a roller blading party; you could have pulled out your matching costumes from Halloween.”

“Papa…Can I goooooo?” Amber asked, pulling on the leg of his pants she was playing with him.

“Maybe if you ever clean your room” He snickered back at her as he shifted holding Arthur on his hip so that he could clearly hold the invitation in the other hand and read it. Paper invitations had seemed like a waste, but every other invitation Robbie had received for a class party this year had been physical, and they were so aware of not bucking the trends.  

Her eyes glittered as their taunting humor was clearly on the same wavelength. “I’ll clean my room, do the dishes, take Anya for all of her walks….” She trailed off as she watched her Papa have a moment to read the invitation to the birthday party at the ice rink. “Can you take me?” She added once more with a gentle pleading that sounded the most genuine of all.

He looked at the date and frowned. “I’m out of town that day-” He added something in another language that was clearly a term of affection with how sweetly it sounded, “But I’m sure we can make it work. Someone will take you to the birthday party.” He added with a nod of finality.

R’s Elite Squad:

Chelsea: Amber Pike has been invited to the birthday party. Dads all seem to be ‘out of town’ on the day of R’s birthday party.

Kelsey: BOOOOOO

wait…. mom

Tiffany: Shit. We meant to try and plan something with them in January. Why does January always go by so fast?

Brittany: Feb is even shorter.

Tiffany: I have a theory….

Kelsey: it could be bunnies!

Tiffany: No about the Pike Family structure. Focus!

Brittany: I think that Ilya and Hayden were married. Jackie was bio mom to the kids…. Hayden caught feelings with her and then they separated.

Chelsea: What about Shane?

Kelsey:  pepe

Kelsey: pepe silvia

Kelsey: **meme of that one image of Charlie from its always sunny in front of his board of theories**

Brittany: I do not have a murder board with red string

Kelsey: you are considering making one

Tiffany: I think Shane and Hayden were originally together. Jackie was just the surrogate and then they split shortly after Amber was born.

Chelsea: I’m not convinced that Jackie gave birth to four kids.

Kelsey: she’s a pilates/yoga instructor laura and the bridgerton named one were talking about it the other day apparently she works at an ultra-high end gym

Brittany: Egg donor then, I’ve given birth to half as many kids and I don’t look half as good as she does.

Tiffany: We need to arrange a playdate

Kelsey: sleepover!

Brittany: What do all three dads’ do where they will all be out of town on the same day?

Chelsea: They probably all work together from what I have pieced from Jackie.

Tiffany: Maybe they own this luxury gym?

Kelsey: male models

Chelsea: Ew… no Kels.

Kelsey: adding it to my pepe silvia board until I have conformation.

Brittany: Just to reiterate I do not have a theory board, but my wife does.

Kelsey: it’s digital… willing to share

Chapter 6: February

Chapter Notes

Of course you are getting the ice-skating birthday party…

As well as some shorter interactions with Amber Pikes 3 dads because this fic has exponentially grown in length from what I had originally planned.

February

One, two, three, four. Chelsea counted the heads once more as she looked down at the children who were her responsibility for the next two hours. She didn’t know how teachers managed to do this. Field trips with a group of students who were far too excited, in an unknown space, filled with things they could break or damage, how could an adult keep calm when anything could go wrong?  It was stressful for her, and she just had to keep her eyes on her own son and three of his other classmates. She counted them once more as the kids crowded around the classroom of the Canadian Museum of Nature.

All she had to do was stand there and watch as the museum educators explained how important beavers were to the ecological system they lived in. The hard part would come later when she was trying to keep hands off dinosaur bones when the kids were sent on a scavenger hunt throughout the open exhibit spaces before they would eat their sack lunches and cram back onto the bus back to school.

Feeling somewhat relaxed now that they were contained within a room where she could see all exits were closed, she moved to stand with the other parents who had been sent along to chaperone the students. There were two mothers from the gossiping group who didn’t like her very much, two fathers who worked from home in the tech industry and Hayden Pike standing alongside an infographic poster of the water cycle arms crossed like a bouncer.

She saddled up to him, their eyes still on the kids who were listening to how beavers’ dams worked to redirect the flow of water. “How can they say beaver this many times and not snicker?” She joked as she leaned into him.

He wasn’t as openly jesting as Jackie, but he smiled in a childish acknowledging the adult connotations. “Well, they are professionals and it helps that the kids are in grade one.” He replied in a whisper.

The two other mothers were chatting about some new exercise program they had found through a social media influencer, while the two fathers were scrolling on their phones occasionally looking up to show they were half engaged.

One of the kids on the floor was asking repeatedly if you could eat the rest of beavers, because in their kid logic, you could eat beaver tails. The poor educator was trying to explain that the popular fried treat didn’t contain beaver. Chelsea had to duck her head down to bite back the laughter. “I don’t think I can survive this.” She wheezed.

“You think this is hard, just wait in a few years they will be making a trip to the planetarium where a poor retired schoolteacher will have to say Ur-anne-us an uncomfortable number of times and they will be old enough to find the humor in that.” They both let out an audible laugh then, and the two mothers looked at them with angry glares. “Better be on our best behavior or they won’t let us chaperone again.” Hayden smirked.

Chelsea rolled her eyes. “That would be a tragedy.” She replied, voice dripping in sarcasm.

**

The snow glittered as the evening sun was just beginning to set behind the hills were many kids and adults scattered about in the snow playing on the relatively warm day.  There were children running up and down the small hill on the far side of the park sledding and sliding down with reckless recreation and filling the air with laughter.

Robbie was running ahead of them, his small plastic sled making long tracks in the deep snow. Children they half recognized beneath now familiar snow suits dotted the landscape as she watched her son climb up the small hill, steady himself on the sled and push off, sliding down with first terror and then glee. He slid past her and Tiffany at the bottom, past little Emma who was doing her best to lick the snow off her mittens as they watched him turn around and face the daunting task of hiking his way back up the hill.

Suddenly a shadow, made not from a tree but rather an imposingly tall man was staring down at Robbie in the snow. “Need a lift?” Ilya asked as he outstretched the open hand that was not pulling along the old-fashioned wooden sled that currently held the two youngest Pikes.

“Mush, mush!” Amber called out pretending to crack a whip as if her Papa was her personal Balto.

Robbie must have said something in agreement because within a few seconds Ilya had the rope pull of Robbie’s plastic sled in his other hand as the man trudged up the hill taking the two sled and their occupants with him.

“Ilya if you tweak your knee sledding, you will never hear the end of it.” A voice called out from the bundled-up crowd of onlookers and there they found Shane, watching as his husband became a human chair lift.

Despite the strenuous task they all huddled together and watched as Ilya took the kids up and down the hill half a dozen more times as the sky darkened around them on the crisp February day. At one point the three adults who were not embracing their inner child sat down on a bench, Shane taking Emma in his lap and enthusiastically listening to her babbles as they watched the kids play with the giant Russian child.

“He’s really good with them.” Tiffany said softly as they watched Ilya declare that this was the last race of the sledding Olympics and the first one down would be the winner. While Amber and Arthur had more weight on their sleigh, Robbie did have the advantage of modern aerodynamics.

There was a deep adoration in Shane’s eyes. “Yeah, he really is.” The edges of his lips curled up in a smile.

The kids were sent down the hill, with Ilya chasing after them in a galloping run. Amber and Arthur crossed the finish line of an arbitrary tree to secure their victory and Ilya let out a whooping call, “And it’s gold for the Pikes! The first major win for the Pikes!”

Shane chuckled once more as he looked at his husband with deep love in his eyes. “Hey, come on, it’s a school night.” He shouted across the snow field that was shifting from children playing to older teens sliding down the hill in the dark of night.

Ilya picked up the reins of each sled once more, carting the children along back towards the rest of their parents. “Is sledding really in the Olympics?” Robbie asked as he arrived at his mothers and hopped off the sled. Emma slipped down from Shane’s lap and jumped onto her brother’s sled letting Ilya drag her around in slow and steady circles on the relatively flat space.

“Not exactly.” Shane said gently as he bent down to talk with him. “There is luge, and skeleton and bobsledding, they all involve sliding down hills but with more specialized equipment.”

Robbie looked at his mothers, and they both knew what he was going to ask. “Can I learn to bob-ba-sled?”

Chelsea looked at her wife. Tiffany just shrugged. They had long agreed that they would let him try any sport he was interested in, not for the sake of being good at it but just for the enjoyment of the activity. “I mean we can look into it if you are interested Robbie.” Tiffany said warmly. “If Jamaica can have a bobsled team, I’m sure there are Canadian ones.”

Ilya stopped in his tracks, looking at her wife with a scowling frown, “There is no Jamaican bobsled team.” He said with the conviction of someone who was certain that the sky was blue and grass was green.

His husband laughed as he sat back on the bench and crossed his arms. Amber and Arthur had hopped off of their sled and were slowly trying to build some tower out of the snow. “Yes, there was.” Shane said in full confidence.  “Famously in the Calgary Olympics of ‘88, there was a movie made about it.”

Ilya narrowed his eyes and clicked his tongue. “I do not believe you.” Shane pulled out his phone and began scrolling through the contact list as he stood to march over to his husband so that the person he was facetiming could see them both. “What are you doing?”

“Proving you wrong.” Shane shrugged.

The face on the other end was an older man, with greying hair and a full mask of stubble, he looked annoyed as if he had been awoken from a nap. “Why are you facetiming me? And has Rozanov kidnapped a kid on a sled?” He asked in a distinctly American accent.

Ilya shook his head, “Neighborhood kid. And to prove a point?” His voice rose on the last bit as he was still charmingly confused by his husbands’ actions.

“Does Jamaica have a bobsled team?” Shane said to the man on the phone.

He rolled his eyes. “Yes. Don’t you two idiots remember Sochi?”

“I try to forget it Captain America” Ilya deadpanned.

The older man scoffed as if wounded, but it was that fake sound that gay men made when they were being dramatic. “It was the first time they had a team again since the nineties, it was a big social interest story. Go bother someone else about this, I have work to do.”

“Enjoy retirement old man.” Ilya said as he pulled away from the facetime call and continued to push Emma around in just barely controlled twists and turns, she giggled with enthusiasm atop of the sled.

“I’m like five years older than you, tops.” The man on the other end of the call said before his face was replaced with a home screen.

“I do not believe you.” Ilya said as he turned to his husband. “Hunter is a liar.”

“He’s not.” Shane spoke softly, as if he didn’t want to get into an argument in front of people from the kid’s schools. Chelsea doubted it was a real argument, more like a creative spat that they did to keep one another on their toes. She had noticed how much Amber and her Papa seemed to speak in a sarcastically adoring manner to one another.

Ilya did one final loop of with the sled before brining Emma back to her mothers and letting the kid hop off notably now worn out, “So they have a team every once in a while. Rare event.”

“I think they have had a team every year since Sochi.” Shane said softly.

“Lying liar.” He teased, but Shane had his phone out again scrolling through to make another call.  “Now who are you calling…”

“Luca.”

The face of the blonde still acne prone young man who Chelsea had met in the kitchen a few weeks before filled the screen once more, before he could say anything in greeting Shane’s phone was commandeered by his husband who sternly told the face on the other end, “Luca tell the truth, no lying to the captain.”

Shane jostled to get into view of the front facing camera as he asked the question, “Luca did Jamaica have a bobsled team at the Olympics last year?”

“Why are you using me as your personal google?”

“Because Ilya is convinced that google is wrong.” Shane’s exasperation only seemed half faked.

There was a heavy sigh. “Yeah, they had a team in Beijing. I don’t think they have ever placed higher than like 15^th in an event, but they have a team.”

“Thank you.” Shane chirped, he ended the call and gave his husband a haughty look. “Well, I know what movie we are watching tonight. Come on kids.” He said with a wave of his hand, and Amber and Arthur hopped up from the small snow fort they had been building as Shane hoisted the old wooden style sled over his shoulder and began to lead them back home.

Ilya gave a small wave to Chelsea and her family running to catch up to his husband. “I grew up in Russia, how am I to know this?” He asked, exaggerating the accent in his voice for comical effect as they disappeared into the night.

**

Jackie Pike came into the small local community ice arena with the steely determination of an overworked mother on a Saturday who needed to be in five different places at once, which was likely true. Car keys still in one hand, a large duffle slung over her shoulder and a silver gift bag in her other hand as she led her youngest into the small ice rink which had been rented out for the birthday party. Amber gave a small wave to Robbie and then sat down on a bench, putting on her own pair of ice skates without assistance. Unlike most kids her age who had glittery skates reminiscent of Elsa, the little girls’ skates were a stunning shade of deep crimson and practical. She didn’t seem bothered by their lack of pizzaz.

Her mother handed over the giftbag. “Ladies,” She breathed “Is it alright if I can’t stay for the party?”

“Sure.” Chelsea looked around the area, between her three other co-parents and the two private instructors they had hired to teach the kids a few skating tricks she figured they could manage to watch a dozen kids for two hours.

Jackie breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks.” The duffle plopped down with a large thud on a metallic bench. “I mistakenly thought that everyone on the same team would make my weekends easier.” She gave a small wave over her shoulder at bottle blond Laura Exetor, whose three unruly kids were always dressed aesthetically in beige and earth tones and had no issue of cussing out their mother in front of the school. She was all about image and likely had only planned to stay at the party to gain gossip rather than supervise.

Jackie bent down to look her youngest in the face, the kid had tied her laces in record time and was practically half out onto the ice before her mother caught her hand. “Alright, Be kind, be safe and be smart.” She said with a small pat on the head and was out of the area as quickly as she had arrived.

Her own son was an admittedly average skater. Through no fault of his own that he had spent the first six years of his life in a region that barely saw any real snow. Now they lived in a city where there was probably at least one ice rink per every five square kilometers if not more. Here ice, was a given. Kids learned to skate on ice before they learned to ride a bike, and Robbie had some catching up to do/

Amber Pike, however, was a good skater.

It wasn’t just that she didn’t resemble Bambi on ice, or that she only fell twice in the time the kids were on the ice. It was that she could skate backwards, that she could do a controlled spin, that when she didn’t think anyone was looking, she managed a few jumps. She was talented, and yet she was keenly aware of not showing off. Which Kelsey had muttered was strange, most kids that age would want to brag about their skills, not hide them. Especially not when they had all witnessed the level of support and attention the Pike kids got from their parents. The kids were back on the ice after cake and presents for the final ten minutes, in which music was blasting loudly, and the kids were purely goofing around on the ice.

“Does Amber take private lessons?” Chelsea asked as she tried one final attempt to make conversation with Laura Exetor out of pure sake of her own social standing.

The woman looked at her as if she had let out a nasty fart, “Your family is new in town, aren’t you?”

She let out a nervous chuckle. “So is Ambers.” It was high school once more and she felt that she was missing a key detail.

The conversation was halted by the woman beside Laura, Emily Pemberton letting out a small “Holy shit is that...” She pointed as inconspicuously as she could to the woman who had entered the ice rink and stepped up to the boards.

Her long grey hair was piled on top of her head in a perfectly messy bun, and she wore a black and red Ottawa sweatshirt. “Maybe she is here to take a look at your Luke’s skills.” Pemberton said facetiously to Laura, “Didn’t you email her for advice when he was like four on how to make him the next superstar?”

That was a delicious piece of gossip that Chelsea stored, Kelsey would love to learn that. She watched as the older woman’s eyes fell across the rink of chaos in a single well-practice sweep before landing on the child in question she was looking for.

“Yuyu!” Amber Pike pivoted around on her left foot and glided across the rink swerving around no fewer than four classmates before hopping up against the boards to give a hug to the woman who was smiling at her with a grandmotherly affection.

“Fucking nepo brat.” Laura seethed.  Chelsea could now see where Luke, Robbie’s troublesome classmate who couldn’t handle losing, got their mouth from.

The older woman was gently chatting with Brittany across the rink who must have been informed by Jackie via text that a different grown up was picking up the Pike kid.

Chelsea approached slowly just to confirm that this older woman was here to collect the little girl who was hanging off of the boards shuffling her feet from side to side making tiny divots deviously in the ice. “Yuyu, can I watch the game?”

The older woman turned and looked at her with a patient smile, “What is seven plus three?” She asked in a calm, even tone of someone who had the privilege of only having to be around children on occasion.

“Ten.”

“And ten is…”

“Past my bedtime.” Amber finished with a small groan. She looked down at her feet dejectedly. “Skate with me?” She asked her little eyes going wide as she tried to charm her way with the woman Chelsea was now convinced was her grandmother.

She countered with a voice that only seemed stern. “I have to get you home Amber.”

The roll of eyes was well beyond her years as she replied, “If you’re here to pick me up, we aren’t in a rush.”

The older woman looked down at her once, her face twisted into a stern glance that broke almost immediately as she ruffled her hair. “Fine.”  Then she moved to her own bag, removing a pair of skates she had brought into the area, as if she knew the little girl was going to ask her. She caught Chelsea’s eye, “This, okay?”

Brittany checked her watch, “We have the rink for another half hour, she’s officially your liability now though.”

Amber waited impatiently as her grandmother sat down and tied on her own ice skates. They were practical and well worn, with the marks of someone who had been on the ice a lot. Then again, she assumed many Canadians participated in various winter sports, even the canals froze over enough for people to skate on them in the winter here.

The woman glided out onto the ice, taking Amber by the hand, not to lead her in any matter, but rather protect her from her flailing classmates. There was a smile on both of their faces as they danced on the ice, laughing and giggling with an ease that tugged at something deep in Chelsea’s heart.

This mother, this woman loving and blissfully accepting whatever strange modern family that her son had made in his adult life. It was acceptance that she knew with certainty she would never see from her own biological family. While she was ecstatic that the Pike children had so much support, there was no denial that the joy that she saw hurt far more than anything she could have ever imagined.

**

R’s Elite Squad:

Tiffany: Why does Laura Exetor hate Amber’s grandma so much?

Kelsey: that was asian dads mom right?

Brittany: I have learned with 100% certainty from his own mother that Asian dad’s name is Shane.

Chelsea: Yep, that was Shane’s mom.

Brittany: He’s only half Japanese.

Kelsey: I think the twins might be Shane’s biologically then if they are only a quarter Japanese….

Tiffany: look who’s the pepe silvia now!

Kelsey: i take that as a compliment love

Chelsea: Arthur is Haydens.

Tiffany: YES

Brittany: 100%

Kelsey: **gif of a man cheering**

Kelsey: updating the board….

Chelsea: Kels really….

Kelsey: K my current theory Hayden and Shane original couple had the twins with Jackie as a donor/surrogate then a few years later Arthur with Hayden’s juice.

Tiffany: Ewww… juice….

Brittany: Then they split up.

Kelsey: Shane and Ilya got together had amber using the same donor so all the kids were related by bio mom… at some point Jackie and Hayden became a thing…. everyone got remarried and now….

BOOM SOLVED!

Chelsea: How come autocorrect never catches all your grammatical mistakes.

Tiffany: She has customized the settings to a strange degree 

Kelsey: i prefer having my own digital voooooooice

Brittany: I still think it was originally Ilya and Hayden. We have never seen them in the same room together…. I think they split up after Amber was born and all of the kids are Haydens.

Chelsea: We need to plan a sleepover.

Chapter 7: March

Chapter Notes

Heads up this, chapter contains a discussion about bad parents who are not at all supportive of their queer kids. Also, can you tell that I really enjoy writing Ilya, I might relate to him just a little *too* much.

March

The scent of lemongrass and eucalyptus had become a pleasant baseline of her existence by the time she walked into the halls of the dark yet inviting space.  The locker room had felt like enough of a vacation, with its rainfall showers and complementary toiletries from brands she had never heard of but knew inherently were expensive. The small touches of real floral arrangements and the gentle hum of music that was calming without seeming like a cheesy Spotify playlist had been enough of a luxury experience. Twenty minutes in the locker room and she would have been content to go home, but no, the experience was just beginning.

To be completely honest, it was all bordering on just too much of a nice experience.

Chelsea was very aware of just how out of place she was in her H&M active wear in the secluded gym located within an unmarked glass high-rise in downtown Ottawa. Hell, it had been a struggle to even find the place, even with detailed instructions. She didn’t even want to know how close a membership to this place would be to her monthly mortgage payment. Yet here she and Brittany were in their cleanest workout clothes, ex-wives attending a yoga class that they had personally been invited to.

The gym…or fitness retreat as she really assumed it should be called was just beyond anything two women from rural Georgia could ever imagine. There were exercise machines they had never seen before, one on one trainers, rooms dedicated to sports that she didn’t even know the name of and were currently unused. It was clearly the sort of gym that stuck to a low capacity not out of fire code but to maintain exclusivity. There was a personal chief on constant demand, any food or beverage that could be obtained and had been offered to be obtained for them. There was an entire floor of the space dedicated to various forms of wellness, from five different saunas to cold plunge spaces. She was doing her best to keep her jaw from falling off the floor.

They stepped through the dark corridor lined with striped wood and a stone floor that glittered with flecks of gold into the dedicated yoga studio. “Sometimes I think that divorcing you was the best decision I ever made.” Brittany whispered into her ear with no ill intent.

It had been their divorce, and Brittany’s relationship with Kelsey which had given them the avenue into Canada, that had helped place them here and now in this city where now Amber Pike’s mother was rushing towards them with a big smile on her face to the her yoga class that she had personally invited them too.

Jackie greeted them warmly as they filtered into the space. Mats had been set up for eight participants in total along with Jackie’s instructor space. The yoga studio had a wall with wide windows that showed a view of the city and river beyond, while the other three walls were a mixture of tropical houseplants and the same striped wood that seemed fake but was of course real.

“This is too much Jackie.” Chelsea murmured as Jackie’s arms wrapped around her in a crushing hug. Jackie hugs she had learned though many school pick ups and play date exchanges were the best.

Jackie snickered in the most professional manner for someone who was employed by such a place. “No, it’s not.” She hissed right back at her showing the pair of them over to two of the mats that were blissfully not front and center.

There were two others already in the studio. A stern looking woman in her sixties with a blunt silver bob who was gently stretching at her own place on her mat. As well as a man who looked to be in his late forties with his greying hair. Though it was hard to tell his age when he was up in a headstand, comical given the hulking proportions of the rest of his body.

All four of them have been invited, but only Chelsea and Brittany had any interest in attending. So, they had dawned their best and cleanest activewear and found the time in their schedule to attend. “Jacks I’ve done some videos at home but…” Brittany was visibly worried. Chelsea understood her fear; recalling having been guided past a Pilates room with scarry looking reformers on their way here.

“It’s a Yin class.” Jackie said with a smile as she waved in greeting at a red headed woman and a thin spindly man with glasses who entered the space behind them and took up the two center mats with quiet conquest. “Poses held for long times, that are supported.” She gestured to the collection of pillows, blankets and blocks which had been set beside each mat. “It’s remarkably beginner friendly.”

Chelsea looked at the rest of the group that was filing in, a man who looked like he worked in finance, and to her surprise Shane coming in last and sitting at the mat next to the man in the headstand, the two immediately began a quiet conversation. “Are you sure you want us to be here?”

Jackie leaned into them and grinned. “I mean they hired me, and I invited you.” There was an air of finality to her voice as she turned to begin the class.  

It was, as Jackie had described, remarkably beginner friendly. The physicality of the poses were not too difficult and the props were used to accommodate their various body shapes to hold the twists and stretches for several minutes each with as little effort as possible. The hardest part was the mentality of it. It was difficult to close her eyes and focus on her breathing when part of her was worried that the rest of the class had their eyes opened and were silently mocking her cheap outfit and poor form.

But in the moments when she managed to connect to her breath, there was a weightlessness that took over body. The aches and pains dulled, and for a moment she just existed in the universe. Then the air would shift and she would catch the fragrance of an aromatherapy scent she didn’t recognize and was reminded that she could never afford to step foot in this gym again.

After an hour and a half of Jackie’s gentle guiding voice over a smooth soundtrack of ambient music they concluded the class with a long and languid savasana which they had been instructed to exit out of at their own pace. By the time Chelsea opened her eyes after a respectable two minutes, the older woman and the businessman had already left behind empty mats. While the red head and spindly man had moved to the far corner, continuing to run through a series of quicker paced poses on their own. Shane sat up on his mat speaking in a small whisper to the other large man who settled into a deep pigeon pose,

Shane grinned as Chelsea moved into a seated position alongside Brittany who was sipping water from an ice filled glass water bottle that must have been provided to her after completing the class, and sure enough there was one of the staff employees in their distinct uniform shirt ready to fetch her a refreshment if she even made eye contact. “Didn’t take you as a yoga guy.” Brittany said as she looked him up and down.

Shane just shrugged. “I mean; I guess I can pass as a lot of things.” He winked subtly and the man next to him chuckled as he switched sides on his pigeon pose. Chelsea was impressed with the sheer flexibility the older man had, she didn’t think men’s hips were supposed to move that way.   “I passed as straight for a very long time.” He added with a twinkle in his eye.

Brittany looked at him with her own brow raised, “Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Jackie confirmed.

His eyes drifted off to the wall of massive houseplants that gave the entire space an almost jungle vibe. “I think I like the yoga more for the mental benefits, it helps me focus.” Shane said softly. She remembered the pure organization of his house, the neat appearance of his car, he came off as someone who was always in control of his situation. She understood the grasp for order in a world where so much was out of your control, of course Shane would be someone who also wanted total autonomy over his own thoughts.

For someone like Shane, who was impossibly wealthy, control must have been easy to find. He could probably quite literally buy peace for a price. For her, it was hard to find focus in a place like this, when she was so aware that she was sticking out the entire time.  If the gossiping group of mothers had learned they had been invited to Jackie’s gym they would never hear the end of it.

Chelsea tugged at her leggings, aware of how the stitching was coming undone near her right ankle. “Thank you for inviting us.”

Jackie caught her well-hidden shame, “We all deserve nice things from time to time.” She said in a soft voice and then caught Shane’s eyes. “They are normal people Shane; they aren’t used to being asked what their preferences shape of ice for their water is.” Jackie snipped at him in the playful tone that most of the Pike family seemed to use with one another as a sign of affection.

Brittany flushed with a pure look of embarrassment that confirmed that she had been asked what shape of ice she preferred in the glass bottle of water that had been provided to her.  The large man snored in his deep pigeon pose that didn’t even seem to hurt him. “Eric,” Jackie named him. “Your one to talk, Mr. Colins ice.” She gestured at his own water bottle with long rectangular cubes

“I own a bar.” Eric said with his hands up in a joking surrender. “You don’t know how much of my livelihood depends on the shape of frozen water.”

“Yeah sure.” Jackie muttered snidely through the side of her mouth. She popped up with ease as she looked down at the group. “Well, I have a few private sessions to teach, but feel free to take advantage of the amenities.” She said with a wink, already having suggested beforehand that they both investigate the complementary massages on the wellness floor.

Brittany stood up with a groan. “Do you ever wonder what our life is?”

Chelsea looked from the lush tropical houseplants to the view of the river, “All of the time.” She replied.

**

If Laura Exetor was walking through her living room and into the cluttered kitchen she might die of embarrassment, but the tall blonde man who followed behind her was another matter. Even though she had seen his own nearly spotless house, somehow, she knew that Ilya wouldn’t judge her for the proof of living that surrounded them. She found Ilya charming. He was funny, good with kids, and the easiest of the Pike fathers to hold a conversation with even if it was his second language.

“Coffee or tea?” Tiffany asked, looking up from the dishes as Chelsea and Ilya entered the kitchen. Emma was sitting in her highchair mostly throwing cheerios on the floor and Ilya took the time to give the toddler a small wave as he replied that coffee would be fine.

He sat down at their kitchen table that was covered on one end with papers and coloring supplies from the kid’s late night drawing session the night before. “Thanks for taking them.” He said awkwardly, pulling out his phone and placed it screen up.

“No problem.” Chelsea said as two mismatched handmade ceramic mugs of coffee were placed down in front of them.

“Some parents are just…” She nodded; some parents were weird about sleepovers. Especially when it was mixed gendered, but she didn’t mind having Amber and Arthur for a night crash in her living room with Robbie, it was a normal part of childhood.

She heard her own phone buzz from across the room and watched as Tiffany shook her hands dry and grabbed it, passing it to her with a frown. “Again.” Her wife muttered softly as she placed the phone down on the table. Chelsea looked at the number, recognizing the area code of the call, and simply continuing to let it ring.

“Do you need to get that?” Ilya gestured to the buzzing phone on the table.

She shook her head. “Nope.”

“Fourth time in two days.” Tiffany said as she turned the water back on and began washing the dishes. “Somebody must have died if she’s not calling on Christmas or Easter.”

Chelsea huffed. It had been her brother who had passed on the phone number to her estranged mother. The same woman who hadn’t spoken to her since she was twenty-two, the woman who was constantly disappointed and scorned by the simple reality of who her child was.

Ilya gave a decisive nod. “So. You are also part of the bad parent club.”

There was a levity in his voice that could only be understood by someone who knew and had attended the support groups for those with shitty parents. Who had thought that their upbringing was normal until they realized the horrors with time and distance. All they had ever been to their parents was an investment, taught that love was conditional, and that deviating from their parents’ outcome was a failure.

“You too huh?” But her laugh was hollow as the phone stopped ringing.

Her mother would leave a long voicemail in her deep Georgia drawl. She could still picture the woman that haunted her nightmares; finally grey by now, still proudly wearing the cheapest clothes she could find. Her mother was forever accompanied by the rattling of ice in her reused Chick-fil-A styrofoam cup filled with Coke, because she was a good Christian woman who had never had a sip of coffee or alcohol in her life. She may have claimed to be an upstanding woman, bragging about never spent a single night apart from her husband in the forty odd years since they had been married; but she was a bitter scud. A woman trapped by her own rigid ideals, who couldn’t cope with the way her two children had turned out and was determined to take down as many as she could to offset her own suffering.

“Da.” He replied gesturing to himself “I am Russian too, so…” He paused and looked down at the cup of coffee and then back up with her with a natural gentleness in his face, “You okay?”

She inhaled sharply. It just sucked.

It sucked knowing that her parents had failed her. That they hadn’t been able to love unconditionally. Not only that, but that good parents did exist. She knew that he did some work with mental health charities, so she wasn’t surprised when he looked at her warmly and said sincerely. “Hey, Robbie is great. The four of you raising him with so much love… you’re doing great.”

She let out a small sigh, glad that they had Bluey to model healthy parenting for them.

“Thanks, you too.” She watched him squirm a bit as if he didn’t entirely believe her and she understood that doubt so deeply that tears stung her eyes. “It just sucks knowing that I have to break the cycle, and that Tiff…” Tiffany and Kelsey had very supportive parents. Brittany not so much, that was something they had trauma bonded over when they met freshman year of college, “It just sucks knowing not everyone else experiences this.”

His face twisted softly as he took a sip of steaming coffee to contemplate what he was going to say next. Emma babbled in her chair, and she tried to tidy up the girl’s tray while he thought.

“When Shane…” He took a deep and heavy breath, “I was there when he came out to his parents. It was not how he wanted it to happen… but they were so good. My father did not admit wrong, even if fact. But they were so…” He took a long pause as if to find the correct word in English, and she realized that he was always speaking in his non-native tongue. “Ashamed.  Ashamed at themselves. That Shane couldn’t be honest with them for so long, that they didn’t create a safe environment for him. It still hurts me that… that my father never felt that way about me.”

She knew someone had mentioned something in the past about Ilya not having parents, and she remembered sharply the strange grief she had felt watching Shane’s mother interact with her youngest grandchild at Robbie’s birthday party. “Did he know about you before he died?” The queer part was implied and understood.

He shook his head rapidly. “Not really. But he was already disappointed enough.”

Her brother had gotten married when he was still in college. His parents were so proud that he had settled down at twenty and found a wife who was appropriate in every way that mattered. Yet their declaration of never having kids hadn’t been what her mother wanted to hear. So, even more pressure had fallen on her to turn into the child her parents had expected. By the time she finished college without a spouse she was already a failure, her choice to marry a woman just confirmed it all.  “Same.”

The silence lingered between them in a gentle manner. Neither of them contributed to the conversation as the toddler babbled and Tiffany finished up the dishes. Ilya looked around the space, at the family that was still settling in a new country, a strange expression on his face that she couldn’t quite understand.

“You know what the best revenge is though…” He trailed off taking a deep breath as if reexamining his entire life. “Living.”

It was a damn cheesy line, but hell if she didn’t agree with him. “Living your truth and love.” Tiffany added in response as she placed a quick peck on her wife’s head before starting to dry dishes.

Chelsea rolled her eyes, wanting to pull them out of the moment of reflection. “Okay yes, thank you for the heartwarming moment of queer joy.” She said to her wife. “Amber and Arthur, it’s time for you to start packing up.” She called out to the kids who were suspiciously quiet upstairs.

Ilya picked up his phone and began typing away with an intensity in his hands as the scattering of little feet and voices in the upper level of the house could be heard. He snorted at his own words and put the phone back down as he took a sip of coffee.

The unmistakable ping of a Grindr notification filled the room. Chelsea froze, half convincing herself that was not what she had just heard. Her wife on the other hand took the bait; “What the f… was that the Grindr sound?”

Ilya smiled sneakily. “It is my custom sound for patron saint of the gays.”

“Is he like notoriously hooking up?” Chelsea said with a raised brow, knowing that the kids were going to come into the room soon and she didn’t want to have to explain much about this to them.

Ilya snorted. “Opposite. He is old man, very happily married to his only ever boyfriend.’

She watched as his face twisted into an almost Shakespearean impishness, “Oh, so it is to get a rise out of him.” Chelsea concluded as she began to hear footsteps thundering down the stairs.

“Yes. He acts like the leader of our group, even though there was no vote.”

“So, he is the OWL of that gay friend group?”

Ilya frowned at her. Queer lingo was constantly changing, even Chelsea could remember a time when the very word queer had been considered derogatory until it had been reclaimed.  “OWL?”

“Old Wise Lesbian.” Tiffany explained.

Ilya grinned mischievously as he picked up the phone again. “That will really piss him off.” He said as he immediately began scrolling through his phone likely to see if an emoji of an owl existed. At that moment Amber and Arthur came into the room, and Ilya made a small notion to silence his phone entirely. As he looked at the kids with brightness in his eyes, he really did adore his role in their life. “Are you all packed up?”

“Yes Papa.” Amber said as she sat down at the table. She made a grabbing motion at his phone, but he pulled it away from her with a small hiss and put it back in his pocket.

“I know where I want to go for my trip!” Arthur said with more excitement in his voice that Chelsea had seen during the entire sleepover.

“Where?” Ilya said pulling the kid into his lap.

The boy, who was normally shy and reserved, took a great big breath as if he had been rehearsing exactly what he was going to say to his Papa. “I want to see the dinosaurs.”

He shook his head viciously, “We are not going to visit Uncle Scott.”

Amber rolled her eyes as she sat down at the table and began to sort through the pictures they had drawn the night before, looking for her own artwork to show off. The kids had been drawing dinosaurs or rather Arthur had been copying images of Microraptor’s while Robbie and Amber had invented their own creatures.

“But you like Uncle Scott and Kip.” She corrected him gently holding out two images. One of Arthur’s blue and grey winged Microraptor that seemed mythological, and Amber’s purple and red creation that was like a snake mixed with an alligator and the proportions of a cat.

Ilya gently nodded his approval at each of them, making no mention that one looked more like a hundred-year-old approximation of a dinosaur rather than a more accurate rendering than the other. “I adore your Uncle Kipstopher, but I tolerate Scott. We are not going to New York City in August unless I am forced to.” He added with a sour expression.

“No, the dinosaurs in Canada.” Arthur said. His eyes were all aglow as he got to speak about his interest. Chelsea quickly figured out last night that if you were ever short on a conversation topic to have with Arthur Pike just ask him about dinosaurs. The kid was a well of knowledge over his special interest.

Tiffany cleared her throat. “I think he means the Royal Tyrrell Museum in Alberta. The kids watched a YouTube video about it last night.”

“Yeah, Albert-ahhh” he said the name of the province as if it was as heavenly as a refreshing ice cream cone in the heat of summer.

Ilya gave him a fake gasp, “Alberta? You could go anywhere with us this summer and you want to go to Alberta? We could go see crocodiles in Florida? Australia… don’t you want to see the crocodiles in Australia?”

Arthur shook his head, “Dino museum.”

He stiffened like a man who just realized that part of his well-earned summer vacation would be spent in Alberta. “Okay, okay, we will look at these dinosaurs.” He picked up a colored pencil and pulled a spare piece of paper towards himself. “How do I spell the name of this museum?” He asked intently, ready to write the information down on the paper.

**

R’s Elite Squad:

Kelsey: she wont stop talking about the ice and the spa and the gym

Brittany: You should have all been there… it was another world

Chelsea: One that we will keep to ourselves unless we want Laura Exetor making the rest of our lives hell.

Tiffany: Also, Ilya and Shane are taking Arthur on a solo trip this summer and that is so adorable.

Chelsea: Arthur gets to pick the location of the trip too.

Brittany: Well, those who are filthy rich get to do that.

Chelsea: OMG play nice y’all.

Tiffany: Hey just a reminder that Chelsea and I are going to be out of town until Thursday.

Brittany: Have fun in so cal! Jealous that you get to visit family in a warm place this time of year.

Chelsea: Yes, because helping my 93-year-old grandmother move into a retirement community is going to be fun.

Brittany: So, we just picked up Robbie from his playdate with Amber at Jackie’s house……

Kelsey: BREAKING MAJOR FUCKING NEWS! pay up y’all im right

Brittany: I begrudgingly agree with her.

Chelsea: What?!

Birttany: We were just at Jackies house. Pics of Shane and the kids when the three oldest were little, Ilya is only in the pics with Amber and beyond. I think it was a Shane/Hayden/Jackie trouple for years.

Kelsey: then Ilya came along

Tiffany: BAMF Jackie…. Getting two guys in a poly relationship

Chelsea: she still has all three at her beck and call to this day.

Kelsey: my queen

Chapter 8: April

Chapter Notes

Finally, all four adult members of the ‘Pike Family’ in the same place at the same time…

April

The line had formed in front of the school in the pleasantly warm April sun for officially longer than the actual grade one performance would take. And the curtain still weren’t going to rise for another twenty minutes.

The kids had lost any shred of decorum they once had about fifteen minutes ago.

There were grade one students running around in fancy outfits in shades of blue and green. On theme, since they would be singing about ocean animals. They screamed at the top of their lungs chasing one another with a mixture of stage fright and pure adrenaline. Siblings, older and younger, milled about; torn between begging to borrow a parent’s device to play games or running down to the school playground. The parents in line had mixed expressions on their face, dutifully showing up to support their child’s performance and silently resenting the fact that the teachers didn’t open the doors to the auditorium until fifteen minutes before the program was to start. Surely, they had their reasons, but the forced proximity to their own unruly children in mass seemed a strange way to expose parents to the reality teachers faced every day.

Some of the parents were looking at their own devices or scrolling through social media, others were chatting with their neighbors in line. Laura Exetor was standing at the very front of the line. Her middle child’s nose pressed up against the glass with impatience while her eldest son Luke was doing his best to run away from his mother and physically terrorize a classmate while letting out a wild string of curses that were not school appropriate. Mr. Exetor, who looked like the lead in a knock off Hallmark Christmas movie, was holding onto his only daughter as if she was a landmine about to explode. Simultaneously trying to hold a conversation on the phone loudly about shipping timetables. Laura was chatting with her fake plastered smile to her small group of devoted mothers behind her, all with their own copy and paste husbands.

They were near the end of the line as the small parking lot of the school was beginning to fill quickly with other parents cars. Kelsey, who had recently dyed her hair a swirl of purple and blue; was bent over holding Ruth’s arms as she bounced the girl gently up and down on the ground. Robbie, unlike most of the other kids stood near his mothers. Waiting patiently because they were the sort of parents who felt that kids needed to be taught the skill of boredom.

“Robbie!” A small voice called out with excitement, and they turned to see Amber Pike leading the way wearing a frilly dress with color changing mermaid sequins on it.

“Hi Amber.” He said, still holding onto Brittany’s hand firmly. “Ma, it’s Amber.”

Brittany chuckled at her son. They were all keenly aware of who Amber was by now. Jackie, Hayden and the three other kids were following. Hayden looking anxiously at the crowd of screaming children and their parents as they joined behind the group of four lesbian mothers in the queue. The Pike children stuck close to their parents too. Arthur listening to the two toddler’s babbles with dedication while the twins stood suspiciously shoulder to shoulder, scrolling through the impossibly small screens on their smart watches. No doubt communicating with other tweens while Amber and Robbie buzzed off of one another’s excitement.

The tension in the air only grew thicker as the minutes ticked by, children repeatedly asking their parents what time it was, as if in two minutes hours could disappear. Adults shuffled their feet, getting tired of standing around as the sun began to dip behind the trees.

“Pike!”

Ilya strode like a runway model soaring above the crowd as his face was carved into determination to meet up with them. It didn’t help that the couple approaching were styled in fashionable dark jeans and knitted sweaters, with Shane tugging a leather jacket around his middle as they made their way through the huddled mass to join them. The pair drew some glances and double takes that were quickly diverted into whispers.

Hayden Pike rolled his eyes, the only person in the space who wasn’t won over by the Russian’s charms. Ilya approached, giving Jackie a warm hug and immediately crowding into the twins space to see what they were gossiping about. Miraculously, the tweens didn’t shy away from him reading their cringy text messages with classmates.  

Chelsea looked between her wife, her ex-wife, and her ex-wife’s new wife. A quick wordless breath confirmed that this was the first time they had ever seen all four of the Pike’s together in one space. There had been sightings of different pairings over the past few months, and it wasn’t uncommon to see Jackie with two of the men, but all four in one place and time was…

Her thoughts immediately left her brain as she was now focusing on the conversation happening with the family unit behind her.

“What?” Shane said as he pulled his jacket around himself defensively, he was looking at Hayden who still had a look of mortification on his face. “We said we were coming.”

Hayden looked at them both, stammering a bit for his words as his eyes scattered across the crowd of other parents waiting in line. Most had turned their attention back to their own devices or trying to wrangle their own children. “I just didn’t expect you to show up before the doors opened that is all.” He finally said quietly.

Ilya leaned into his husband’s shoulder and reached down to entangle their fingers. “Exposure therapy.”

“Ilya.” Shane hissed as his husband.

“Whaaat?” The man replied in a humorous tone, then in a breath it all changed. Replaced with the quiet sincerity of someone who was building up their partner. “You have every right to be out and in public, living a normal life.”

Montreal, Chelsea remembered, had been a homophobic nightmare. Shane was understandably mortified of being his authentic self out in public. Shane took a few deep breaths, letting the conversation wash away into weather as his eyes scanned the crowd around him nervously. Fuck Montreal. She thought, Ottawa probably wasn’t the queer capitol of Canada, but clearly it was a clear improvement from their previous environments.

“Do you have any summer plans?” Brittany asked the fellow parents changing the topic once more.

Jackie gave a nod “A couple trips.”

Hayden laughed “Sleeping for a week straight.”

“Cottage.” Ilya said resolutely. 

Chelsea blinked, to her the word conjured up a small shack in the rugged unnamed wilds of Appalachia. She couldn’t imagine either Shane or Ilya to be the type to own a reclusive cottage in the woods. Her mind was flooded with the hijinks of the two of them trying to share a small one or two room space with four kids that might not even have running water.

“Cottage?” Tiffany echoed, she had grown up outside of Los Angles, to her the word described just as small and rustic of a place.

Kelsey looked up from bouncing Ruth to engage in the conversation. “Canadians don’t mean cottage the way you are thinking of it. They use it as a catch all term for second vacation home.”

That was encouraging. Now she was properly imagining Shane and Ilya in an expansive summer home with a few dozen rooms and waitstaff. They were the kind of people who ‘summered’, heck she wouldn’t even been surprised if they had a winter home somewhere too.  

Brittany’s face dawned with realization as she looked at her wife, “Oh, kind of like how they all say university?”

“There is a difference between a university and a college.” Kelsey said tensely. “I have explained this before Brit.” She added, it was a conversation that Kelsey had in fact had with them about a dozen times over the years.

Hayden turned towards Shane. “Aren’t you going to New York for the camp?”

Shane shook his head. “Just Ilya is going to New York”

“Then Kip and I are going on a great gay New England road trip.” Chelsea sputtered both at the phrasing of the statement, and the enthusiasm of his words. “I am Canadian now, I can be as gay as I want.” He shrugged.

That was honestly sweet. She had felt something similar after finally cutting ties from her parents. The sheer happiness and joy in just being herself and exploring without guilt a world that embraced and loved her for who she was. She wondered if this would be more of the antiquing and visiting historic places, or the hitting up every drag bar and club kind of road trip.

Hayden raised his eyebrow at Shane. “And you are okay with him doing that?”

She could picture Shane antiquing in quaint little New England towns, but clubbing was another matter. “It’s a week, and I did offer to be their designated driver.”

Ilya leaned over and kissed his husband gently on top of his head. “No.” He said firmly. “I know Fire Island is your own personal hell.”

“Not much of a nightlife person?” Kelsey said as she picked Ruth up and settled her on her hip.

Shane shook his head, though his face did the talking for him. She had correctly assumed that nightlife was not Shane’s cup of tea.

“I hear that.” Tiffany replied, “I attended one Dinah Shore weekend out of college and refused to do that ever again.”

The group chuckled as ahead of them, the roar of children awaiting their nautical themed performance grew in its intensity. Three kids nearby could be heard asking their parents what the time was, as a father up ahead moaned about waiting in line. The doors to the auditorium opened with a cheer from the kids as the hoard slowly inched forward to file in through the narrow doorway.

“Speaking of summer plans,” Jackie turned to look at the three men. “Where is Arthur’s passport?”

Hayden gave a noncommittal grunt. “It should be with the girls”

“It's not.” She snapped at him as they inched forward in the line into the auditorium

“Why do you need it?” Her husband asked.

“Same reason I have needed the kid’s passport this time every year for the last decade Hayd.” Her voice was tense and Ilya visibly bit on his knuckle to keep from laughing while Shane suddenly was very interested in the roofline of the school.

“Don't....” Shane said sharply and there was a small chuckle from Ilya.

Ilya punched Hayden in the shoulder. “New city, new jinx’s and I already have enough bad juju as it is.” Hayden said through gritted teeth as he dodged yet another swipe from Ilya.

“Hayden Pike where is your son's passport?”

“You had it last.” He said in a stage whisper as his hands shoved into his pockets.

She shook her head, looking at him with furry, “No I didn't.”

He rolled his eyes at his wife, “Chicago over spring break.”

“I only took the girls to Chicago.” She snipped at him.

Hayden frowned comically, “Wait who was with Arthur when you were in Chicago with the girls?”

Ilya let out a raucous laugh, “Christ Hayden, it's a shock you still have parental rights.”

“David and Yuna.” Jackie said

Ilya gave a nod. “They did five dinosaur puzzles together, all over one hundred pieces. Dad sent me the photos.” He beamed with pride as he pulled out his phone and pulled up the pictures. He showed them around the group, Arthur and a man with grey hair posing happily at a dinner table in front of various dinosaur puzzles together of increasing complexity. The last was large enough that it took up almost half the table and was a densely populated image with many ferns that must have taken some time.

Jackie bit her lip in thought, “I do not want to deal with another emergency passport situation like we did in 2020.” She leaned in and whispered into Hayden ear sharply with a deep vengeance. “He is old enough now to hold a grudge against you if he has to miss a trip to the states.” She added under her breath.

Ilya let out a deep chuckle at that. “Been a few years huh Hayden?”

Hayden turned a deep shade of red as he hissed childishly, “Oh, shut up. I still have more than you.”

Ilya snickered. “For now, old man.”

“Well, when did he last go to the states?” Jackie said, turning the conversation back to the passport issue. Jackie crossed her arms over her chest like a petulant child. Her eyes narrowed as she was deep in though. Then finally she pointed a finger at Shane and Ilya. “You two took him to Disneyland over mid-winter break”

 “Shane…”

“Jacks I would have given that back to you when we got home.” Shane said innocently. “But I will double check all of our luggage tonight and let you know.”

She looked at her husband with narrow eyes. “I barely trust you with your own passport and you travel internationally for a living.”

“It only happened once.” Hayden said through gritted teeth. “And it was like my second year.”

“Because you really wanted an extra-long vacation in Cleavland?” Ilya snarked. Hayden glared at him with a poisonous look in his eyes the tension between them thick. “Shane tells me everything.” He said with another rakish grin on his face.

Hayden didn’t have the time to come up with a retort as they entered into the threshold of the auditorium and were suddenly now faced with the chaos of pre-performance children amplified in an enclosed space. The kids were running off to head backstage and likely terrorize a frazzled music teacher for the next half hour as parents gently pushed and shoved one another to find a decent seat to claim for their own.

“Mom, can we?” Ruby or Jade was saying, gesturing towards another group of gangly tweens who were looking out of place surrounded by all of the parents and enthusiastic six- and seven-year-olds.

“Fine, just find us after and be good.” Jackie called out as the two ran off to gossip with another group of girls their age.

Tiffany looked at Robbie and Amber who were patiently about to explode with excitement. “I’m going to take them both backstage.” She said, taking each of them by hand and leading them through the mass of bodies quickly filling the space to capacity.

There was a murmur of thanks. Jackie clapped her husband on the back. “Okay boys. Have fun standing in the back.”

“What, Jacks why? There are enough chairs.” Hayden gestured wildly at his wife.

“For now, but you know they always run out of chairs at these things. Besides all of you idiots are tall, you can stand in the back and still see the stage.”

“Fine Jacks… fine.” Shane muttered his face blushing in bemusement.

“Arthur?” Ilya called out. “Uppies?” The kid ran towards him with a wide grin and climbed into the blonde man’s shoulders with glee.

Shane reached out and gave Jackie’s shoulder a quick squeeze before they moved to stand along the back of the auditorium with the other group of tall dads who had been relegated to the same fate. As Jackie moved them to find a group of seats together, because her feet were killing her, Chelsea turned and looked at the three tall men standing side by side one easy to spot with Arthur’s little face rising like a beacon in the sea of bodies.

Unlike some of the other fathers who had their heads down in devices or who were talking without paying attention to their surroundings, the three of them were standing looking forward, engaged in whatever Arthur was muttering about, standing close enough that it was clear they were comfortable with one another. Amber Pike’s three dads, a strange mix, but perhaps the most invested in the lives of their children.

R’s Elite Squad:

Kelsey: Ilya and hayden were so married

Brittany: I agree, they give off exs

Kelsey: i believe Ilya split up the throuple

Brittany: I mean did you hear what he said about Hayden still having parental rights?

Kelsey: yes hes sooooo so bitchy about it

Chelsea: We are still at this event!

Tiffany: Can we not be texting about people in the room with us!

Kelsey: my phone is on silent

Brittany: Everyone else is texting right now

Chelsea: Come on Britt. I expect you to be the adult here

Brittany: Why because I am the eldest, and Kelsey is the youngest?

Kelsey: i love my cradle robber

Brittany: Do you see how they interact?

Tiffany: Okay yes but the pics at the house? I thought we were done speculating.

Kelsey: photoshop exists

Chelsea: Jackie is literally sitting next to me…. BEHAVE!

Chapter End Notes

Heads up, the big reveal is next….

Chapter 9: May

Chapter Notes

I am blown away by all the interest and love this story has gotten. All I can say is the deepest most heartfelt, thank you for all the support.
I hope you enjoy the big reveal.

May

“Oh, thank god.” Jackie Pike said as she moved to stand next to Chelsea grabbing Tiffany’s suit jacket by the elbow, “I need to speak with an adult.” She said through gritted teeth as her eyes flicked back to where Laura Exetor and a few of her clones were chattering with wine glasses in their hands still gazing hungrily at Jackie as if they were not through terrorizing her with their social jabs.

To be honest Chelsea had very little interest in attending the school’s fundraising auction. The official parent teacher group wasn’t exactly a crowd of adults that she felt enthusiastically welcomed into. She would have rather just given money to the school than get all dressed up for some weirdly themed night out that was nothing more than an excuse for parents to get dressed up, drunk and relive their prom night. But societal pressure and the desire to see what a party organized by esteemed real estate magnate Laura Exetor looked like meant that they had flipped a coin over which couple was going to attend the event. Chelsea and Tiffany had lost, so they had shelled out the money for the tickets and given their kids to their other co-parents for the night to attend the auction held in the rented-out clubhouse of a private local golf club.

The golf course and its clubhouse were old and historic; constructed in the 1930’s of local grey stone and filled with the types of old fixtures and architectural details that were so prevalent in the nation’s capital. There were old black and white photos of esteemed members of the walls, rooms names after prime ministers and carpets that still carried the faint whiff of cigar smoke.

The space which held a natural and historic beauty was ever so slightly clashing with the tasteful yet borderline stereotypical Hawaiian theme. There were photo backdrops made of plastic materials that could easily be ordered online, expensive flower arrangements with tropical blooms that must have been a hassle to get in Ottawa of all places, and cheesy images of the school mascot and logo all around the space.

It all carried what she had come to learn was Laura Exetor’s sense of decorative style, maximum effort.

Jackie was dragging them over to a small corner near a staircase which led up to the club’s restaurant which would be serving them the best version of Ottawa luau food in an hour. The dress code had been formal, which seemed like another step too far, but the rest of the parents had gladly followed suit, many of the woman proudly wearing real orchid leis like they were merit badges.

Most of the adults at the moment were milling about the lounges and bars, drinks in hand talking loudly as they moved between looking at the items available for the silent auction and appreciating the sunset over the golf course behind them.

“They always act like I haven’t been a league wife for over a decade. I’ve been at more cup ceremonies than she’s had nose jobs.” Jackie said as she sat down on the stairs gathering up the hem of the linen dress that she wore with a restrained pattern of palm leaves on it, she had mentioned something about getting it on a trip to Hawaii years ago. She looked back at the gossiping group of women with annoyance in her eyes. “I swear to god they are just being nice to me to see if I can get them tickets to the playoffs.” She admitted, her shoulders relaxing as she knew she could freely vent to Chelsea and Tiffany.

“Okay I may be a lesbian but even I know that the football season is over by now.” Jackie frowned as Tiffany adjusted the jacket of her deep blue suit, “Your guys are like in a Fantasy Football league, right?”

Jackie froze and then began to laugh hysterically. Her joyous laughter was beginning to draw the attention of the other parents still in the room Chelsea realized that they were about to make a small scene if they didn’t duck into ladies’ room real fast. Considering it was a golf course that mostly catered the men in attendance, the woman’s restroom on this level of the clubhouse was staggeringly large. The bathroom was filled with black and white penny tiles and old plumbing fixtures with sharp angles that couldn’t be easily replaced with stock models from the hardware store. The women’s restroom on this floor had an honest to goodness lounge space with chaise lounges and armchairs before a set of heavy wooden doors with stained glass inserts led to the actual facilities.

They were both dragging Jackie between them, the woman still wheezing with laughter as they moved into the empty space. The party outside was loud with music blaring from a dj who was playing the pop classics of two decades ago, encouraging grinding and other questionable choices of dance styles from well to do parents reliving their youth once more.

Jackie plopped down on a vintage velvet chaise lounge, “Sorry it’s just…. Shit I think I pissed myself.” Jackie took a theatrical and calming breath. “Oh, it’s been a very long time since…. You never googled us? Looked us up on socials?”

“No.” Tiffany stammered, looking at her wife with confusion. They had just figured they were another queer family; “Why would we?”

 Jackie wiped away at the tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Chelsea was most impressed that her makeup hadn’t budged, she would have to ask her what she used to set her face with.  “Hayden is a professional hockey player.”

“Oh…” Chelsea didn’t know what else to say other than; “Is he good?”

She crumpled into the couch laughing so hard that Chelsea was genuinely becoming worried about Jackie’s ability to breathe. “I… he’s average but lucky enough to be on decent teams and… you have no idea… sorry it’s just been years since I have met someone who didn’t know….”

Tiffany was looking at her wife, not knowing what to make of the revelation either. Hayden being a professional athlete didn’t seem like that big of a deal, not when they knew there were some national level politicians just outside the door. “So, when you said they were all on the same team you meant that….”

Jackie took a few sputtering deep breaths before she answered, “Shane, Ilya and Hayden all play for the Ottawa Centaurs. I mean their pictures are around town for Christ sakes, you never put it together?”

Sure, they had noticed things about sports teams over the past few months since moving to Ottawa but not having an interest in any of them, they didn’t pay close attention to which were local teams or professional teams. There had been kids to raise, jobs to learn, a new country to live in. Robbie had made a friend in Amber, and they had found adults who hadn’t judged them based on who they loved. It didn’t really matter to any of them what their jobs were.

Oh, all three of them were professional athletes.

The insane level of wealth, fancy cars, the traveling, the sheer number of summer trips they had planned. Professional athletes who were probably paid in the millions. Who wore expensive clothes that turned them into walking billboards and had brand endorsements. All the people in their social circle were large and muscular men because they were probably also professional athletes. The fact that the schedules of when the men were in town seemed to be so random but was in fact due to games played internationally.

“Wow, I didn’t realize that hockey was so gay.” Tiffany sank into one of the armchairs and her legs spread out wide in a distinctly unwomanly pose.

“Well, it officially has been since 2017. It’s still a mess… and there are still a lot of problems with…” Jackie paused as the door into the woman’s lounge opened and a pair of other school mothers whom none of them knew passed in quickly through the lounge space and into the proper bathroom. Amber Pike was ridiculously good at ice skating, because she had probably been skating since she learned to walk. It made sense now that they had the right context.

Chelsea waited util the door closed behind them before she continued. “Sooooo, you are telling me that there is professional hockey team with two married players on it?”

“Yeah. It was controversial, still is a bit, but then they won the Stanley cup last year.”

“They won one of those big ass cups that Laura Exetor always is clutching onto?” Tiffany said gesturing as if she was holding onto one of those weighty drink cups that so many of the mothers had in a multitude of colors.

One hand flew up in front of her face to cover her gaping mouth as the other rose in a universal gesture for the other woman to stop. Clearly Tiffany had said something wrong, because Jackie raised a finger indicating that she needed a minute.

Jackie composed herself slowly, “The Stanley Cup is the name of the trophy that the winning team of the NHL hockey team gets possession of. It’s the major championship prize of professional hockey in North America.”

The words sunk in. So, it was a major, like the Superbowl of hockey. Chelsea had never been much of one for sports, but she remembered some of her family members and their devotion to professional sports. She could vaguely remember when the Atlanta Braves had won the world series in baseball and how that had taken over their small town with regional pride when she was a little kid.

Jackie pulled her phone out of the purse and was flicking through an album that featured herself, Hayden and the kids over a span of various years with a large multi-level silver cup that they were posing with proudly. There was a picture of each of the kids sitting within the bowl of the cup.  Hayden had won it three times, judging by the various ages of the kids. A younger Shane with shorter hair even featured in the photos with both men wearing a red, white and blue uniform. Montreal, of the aforementioned Fuck Montreal, had been their previous hockey team.

“Oh.” Chelsea said, “So they won last year and then the team hired their ex to join them?”

“Ex.” Jackie repeated it once more as if to check that she had heard the right word. “Ex?”

“Yeah did… Ilya is Hayden’s ex right?”

Jackie paled and sank into the lounge even more as her feet kicked up into the air as she fell into peals of childlike laughter. The door from the bathroom opened up and the women exited back through the lounge and into the party gave them a dirty glance. Rude, considering they were in a semi-private space meant for this sort of ruckus gossiping. “What the actual fuck are you on about?”

“Ilya is Amber’s dad, right?” Chelsea said softly, feeling a strange twisting in her stomach as she.

“No, he is not.”

She heard her own voice, small and echoing off the old stone tiles, “But Amber calls him her Papa?”

“Because she is a monster who likes to terrorize her father, and Ilya goes along with it because he and Hayden have always pretended that they hate each other even though they are friends now. They are my kids’ Uncles. Shane is like a brother to Hayden.” She took a wheezing breath and tapped at her phone, composing herself before calling her husband. “Hayden, can you come and meet me in the second-floor women’s lounge? Thanks.” She ended the call before she was able to ask any more questions and her face fell back into giggles once more.

Chelsea sank back into one of the other sofas and pulled out her phone, quickly googling ‘Ottawa Hockey’ and feeling rather stupid as she saw the leading results. Images of Shane and Ilya decked out in black and red hockey gear mid game with intensity on their faces. Articles about the ‘first husbands’ of hockey, about the ‘queerest team in the league’ and more were flashing before her eyes. She looked at her wife, showing her the results unsure of how to respond.

Hayden came rushing into the room, not at all bothered by the fact that it was a space for an entirely different gender. “Hey, Jacks, are you okay?” His face was filled with concern as he rushed towards his wife.

Hayden probably thought she was drunk based on some of the other behavior of the parents at the event. “Sit down Hayden.”

“No seriously are you okay? You look… strange.”

“Hayden sit down.” She said firmly, and her husband sat on a pouf in the middle of the room looking at his wife obediently.

Jackie took a deep breath, as if she was about to tell her husband of, what well over a decade she was very ill. Finally, after a few beats she spat out the information. “Robbie’s moms didn’t know that you played hockey.”

Pike gave a small shrug as if to admit that he was very aware of the fact that he wasn’t the most well-known player in the league. After all, playing a sport professionally was just a job for him. “I mean okay, I don’t think the kids’ dentists know but…” Jackie coughed and wrung her hands nervously, but she was clearly finding humor in the situation, to which Chelsea was grateful. If anything, else the blooming friendship between the adults appeared it would survive past this colossal misunderstanding. Jeeze, she knew kids lied, why had they ever taken Robbie’s word in the first place? “What else?” He said with a groan.

Eyes met in the small lounge in the very fancy golf center. The building was nearly a hundred years old. Surely there had been other awkward conversations within these walls over the years. Affairs being revealed, marriages dissolving, drugs done in secret, plans and schemes made. It was a place that had long been exclusive, where men with wealth and power gathered to indulge in the darker parts of humanity. But this secret was comical rather than scandalous, and Chelsea took a deep breath.

“We assumed, wrongly.” Chelsea began awkward, not really hearing the words that were leaving her lips, “That your family had a similar structure to ours.” Hayden frowned in an admittedly, straight, way. “We assumed that you and… Ilya had been in a romantic relationship previously and then split up and remarried.”

Tiffany gave a small clear of her throat. “Actually, we had many theories. Personally, I thought that it was originally you and Shane as a couple. Kelsey was pretty convinced of a throuple…”

“Shane is like my brother!” He breathed as he bent down and placed his head in between his knees.

“We know that now.” Chelsea whispered softly.

Jackie was looking at her husband and giggling uncontrollably. “Oh, I know that reaction, that’s what you did when I told you I was pregnant with Amber.” She picked up her phone and snapped an image of her husband. “I’m sending this to them.”

Them in question being Shane and Ilya, Chelsea supposed. “Ya see, that kind of stuff right there… that kind of stuff helped fuel our confusion.” She admitted out loud.

Hayden looked at her with a scowl and then gave his wife the middle finger. Jackie brushed off his anger. It was clear now that they had been together for a long time, that their relationship had been worn and weathered into something comfortable and familiar that came with the deep connection of knowing another person easily.

“What are we going to do about this?” Hayden muttered to his fancy dress shoes.

Tiffany fiddled with her cufflinks. “We just assumed that whatever relationship and parenting arrangement you had wasn’t our business to share.” Jackie gave her husband a pointed glare that he didn’t catch since he was too busy looking at the black and white geometric titles. “Obviously though we will tell Brittnay and Kelsey that we were wrong about your family. That Shane and Ilya are just very involved uncles in your kid’s life.”

Jackie made a small sound. “I mean Amber does call Ilya Papa and tends to wear his merch not yours.”

Hayden’s head shot up and while he looked exasperated, it was more from the sheer nonsense of the mix up than anything else. “What are we going to do?” He repeated once more clearly caught in some logical loop.

His wife snorted. “Not much we can do about it tonight. I mean seeing as the kids are currently with their uncles.” She stood up looking at Chelsea. “Are Brittany and Kelsey here?”

“They have the kids tonight.”

“Well, you were coming over tomorrow anyway for lunch, might as well add the boys.” Jackie clapped her hands together, “Not much else we can do about this tonight other than get buzzed and spend our hard-earned money on some very questionable children’s artwork.” She took her husband by the hand and pulled him up, dragging the professional athlete behind her back into the social chaos.  

**

She felt as if she was being called to the principal’s office. She wasn’t. But it felt like that.

Instead, she and Tiffany were being summoned to the Pike’s house for a Sunday lunch to reveal the large mistake of communication that had been forming within their family for the past seven months. As they turned onto the Pike’s street it was hard to miss the few signs and flags that dotted the neighboring houses in support of the Ottawa Centaurs. Because, as she had learned in the past twenty-four hours, the team was close to participating in a consecutive championship run for the Stanley Cup.

It was only because the Centaurs, the leading team in their division, had a bye week that all of them were in town on a weekend at this time of year.

The Pike house was more modern and far more lived in than any of their houses. It was large, a family with four kids clearly needed some space, and pleasantly cluttered with the reminders of a family. As Chelsea stood in the living room looking at the pictures on the wall, she wondered how it hadn’t been obvious before. Of course, they never really saw Hayden and Ilya together, because clearly the two didn’t know each other nearly as well. There were images of Shane and Hayden both in their early twenties in sports gear and skating on ice. A wedding picture of Hayden and Jackie that seemed to scream early 2010’s. Photos of the kids with just their biological parents, though Shane made a frequent appearance as well. If anything, the hockey should have been obvious a long time ago.

“Oh hey.” Jackie said as she breezed in through the covered patio where the lunch would be happening since the weather was on their side that day. “Hey, Hayden, is Shane eating like a bird again?” The mess of their combine children wafted through the rooms of the large house, buzzing with anticipation to get to swim later.

According to Jackie, one of the kids requests in their new Ottawa home had been a pool, and while the outdoor pool was still covered, the indoor pool was available year-round. Because being a professional athlete who had won some major tournaments meant that you were two pools kind of rich.

Hayden, who was head deep in the fridge, gave a grunted reply. “Modified bird according to Ilya.”

Tiffany raised a brow, “What on Earth does that mean?”

Jackie reached over her husband and pulled out a can of sparkling water, gesturing that they were free to grab whatever they wanted from the fridge as well. “It means that he will pick around what the rest of us are eating, and no one is making him anything special just because is a living legend.”

Chelsea found herself frowning at what appeared to be mean behavior from such a close group of friends. “That seems borderline… rude.”

Four adult voices both from the kitchen and the adjoining patio gave quick responses.

“It’s called growth.”

“It’s not.”

“It’s for his own good.”

Shane’s disembodied voice called out over the calls of those who had known him for over a decade. “I’m learning to be flexible.”

Hayden pulled his head out of the fridge and looked at the last arriving guests properly. “Hey, long time no see.” He joked. It had been less than twenty-four hours since their major misunderstanding had been revealed, and now Chelsea was standing in a professional hockey players’ kitchen with a salad as if it was a peace offering.

She wished the ground could just grow up around her and swallow her whole. “Where do you want this?” She said instead, socializing like a normal adult.

“Fridge.” He took it from her and placed it on a shelf that was not nearly as organized as Shane’s fridges. “Hey, Jack’s, where is the chicken?”

“I put it by the grill.” Came his wife’s reply as she moved to head out to the patio once more.

With the salad in the fridge and no more time to waste Chelsea took a deep breath and stepped outside. The screen walls were down turning it into an almost enclosed outdoor room, but allowing a pleasant breeze as the adults sat around on a matching set of outdoor couches and chairs centered around a covered table that probably contained a small fire pit. The kids were running around from place to place, hopping from the backyard to the house with Anya chasing after them gleefully.

Shane Hollander and his husband Ilya Rozanov, the number two and one draft picks of their inaugural year, and first married couple to play on the same professional team, were sitting on a small love seat. The information about their history as professional athletes flashing in her mind as facts that she had committed to memory via google at 1 am. Shane was pressed into Ilya, a can of ginger ale in his hand as his husband lazily carded his hand through his hair. They were watching the kids who were playing happily with their dog now in the expansive and well landscaped terraced backyard of the Pikes that bordered up to a small, wooded area.

Brittany and Kelsey were sitting on a couch opposite, soon to be joined by Tiffany and Chelsea as the four of them took up the confined space with ease.

“Why did you invite us over again Pike?” Ilya asked, his voice filled with a malice that didn’t show on his face.

Hayden, with a plate full of marinated chicken, looked at him incredulously. He was now standing at the warmed-up built in grill and outdoor kitchen that was just beyond the covered space on a larger second uncovered patio with more seating spaces “Dog proofing. Remember how you got me to promise my kids I would get them a dog if we won the cup this season?”

Ilya gave a small careless shrug. “Was that before or after you decided to come and join us in Ottawa?”  

“Ha-ha” He clicked a pair of tongs menacingly. “Yes, because it was totally impossible that I would ever win another C-U-P.”

“Hayden, I know the kids are half yours biologically but even they know how to spell that word.” Ilya snickered as he pressed a gentle kiss to his husband’s head.

Kelsey stopped with a can of diet coke halfway to her lips, “That answers that question.” She couldn’t keep herself from muttering under her breath.

Jackie looked like she was about to burst as she struggled to keep silent “What does that mean?” Shane said as he looked at the women around him.

Embarrassment flashed on Brittany’s face, “I know it’s not polite to ask but we were wondering who the kid’s bio dads were.”

Shane’s face was scrunched into an angry little frown. “What? Why wouldn’t you… they’re Hayden’s kids of course…” He was sputtering as he moved to sit up and look between his husband and his best friend.

Jackie was biting her lip. “You know how Amber likes to jokingly call Ilya Papa, and the two of you are the world most involved uncles?”

Shane’s eyes had gone wide and bugged out as on the opposite sofa Brittany and Kelsey had their own dawning realization that Amber Pike only had one father.

“You thought we were their dads?” Ilya had a beam of pride in his face as Hayden looked suddenly very interested in his own lawn.

Brittany looked at her ex-wife pointedly. “When did you learn this?”

“Last night at the auction.” Chelsea said softly.

The patio fizzled into chaos as voices suddenly spoke over one another, clamoring for information.

The conversation twisted and turned as the truth fell out over laughter and the roaring smoke coming from the grilled chicken. It turned out that Shane and Ilya had known one another the longest, since they were still teenagers, even though their relationship had been official the shortest amount of time. Jackie and Hayden had been together over a decade, they had been in their early twenties when they married and had twins in less than a year.

The revelation that Hayden had been straight the entire time seemed to be the most shocking thing to the women. “Why did you think we were a couple?”

“You mentioned having to share a room once with Shane.” Brittany said as she helped carry the rest of the food from the kitchen.

“Okay well we did used to share rooms back in the day.” Hayden said, stopping as he realized how that sounded to four women who lived the continual struggle of explaining how their significant other was not their roommate. “When we were traveling for away games. We often shared rooms, because it’s a tradition in hockey to share rooms.”

Kelsey narrowed her eyes. “Aren’t you all like rich?”

“It’s a decision above my paygrade.” Hayden said his hand flying up in the air. He was adorably the one most incensed by the whole thing, and clearly the other three adults were getting some degree of enjoyment out of making his hair turn prematurely grey.

“Sureeee.” Kelsey pulled up a text message that she must have had between just the pair of them. “Okay but look at this text from my perspective, you said that Shane left the room…”

Kelsey didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence as Hayden let out a shocked roar: “I’m their biological father why am I listed as dad number 3?”

Brittany gave a small shrug. “You give off those vibes.” She deadpanned.

Ilya chucked now, his own face turning a shade of red. “Ha! From worst player on the team to worst father. You are always ranked last Pike.”

At that Hayden reached across the table they were all still setting up and smacked the other man playfully on the head. Sure, maybe it was all a strange platonic partnership between the two couples, but it was clearly a deep connection. “Those are your rankings Rozanov.”

Ilya gestured at the four of them but didn’t get another word in as the kids were called to sit down to lunch, and suddenly there were now eight adults focused on making sure seven different children were fed in the most efficient and cleanliest manner possible.

Lunch was an excuse for the conversation to be dominated by the children. With Hayden making several loud references to Shane and Ilya as Uncles.  Amber, with her shit eating grin on her face, retorted and called Ilya Papa to the increasing aggravation of her real father. Anya moved beneath all of them wondering who was going to give her the most scraps, Ilya of course. The kids chattered about school and cultural things they had little context over. The Pike twins, at that awkward tween age when they had little interest in their own younger siblings but were fine fawning over Robbie’s toddler aged sisters. It was chaotic and pleasant afternoon, one that she would need a nap to recover from, but fun less.

The fear that she had when approaching the Pike home for this lunch disappeared entirely. Yes, they had been dreadfully wrong about the Pike family dynamic, but somehow it was a small problem. That was until it was revealed that none of them had caught on to them being professional athletes in the months they had known one another. That was another five minutes of solid adult cross talk which was barely followable.

“We have a trophy room at our house.” Shane said softly looking down at the few scraps of food left on his plate with a red face.

“I’ve only been there twice,” Chelsea heard herself saying. “And just cause my mama has decorative NASCAR plates doesn’t mean she is driving in the Indy 500.”

Ilya set down his can of coke on the table. “What did you think we did?”

Gym owners, wealthy businessmen, investment bankers, they had run though a lot of possibilities in their chat over the past six months.

“Male models.” Kelsey deadpanned as she stood up to help clear the tables.

“I mean Kelsey is at least somewhat correct.” Ilya looked at his husband incredulously. “What? We’ve both modeled for brand deals our entire career.” Shane added.

“Okay but in all the time since you moved to Canada, you had to have learned something about Hockey since you came here?”

“I now know that That Tim Horton was a real person, and a hockey player.” Brittany said with a shrug.

“Hockey skates are different from ice skates.” Chelsea added with a sharp blush.

Jackie leaned back in her chair and just laughed at the sight of all of them so clueless about what had been her entire world for over a decade. It must have been nice to have someone who just saw them as people. They could just text about school runs and bringing snacks for the class. That must have been why the Pikes were not kicking them out of their very nice backyard and letting their kids get ready to splash around and make a mess in their indoor pool.

The kids were off to change into their bathing suits, finally having earned their time in the pool, and the eight of them would be moving into vigilance mode as they watched the kids play in the water. Ilya muttered something in Russian as he stood to help clear plates into the kitchen as well.

“You don’t want tickets to a playoff game, do you?” Hayden asked, doubt crept in on his face as if he wondered if this was all a ruse to get them a pair of the most sought-after seats available in town.

The four of them looked at one another, silently communicating. “Yeah, not really our thing.” Tiffany replied.

“I love them.” Ilya said as he awkwardly wrapped his plate laden arms around Kelsey fondly. “We are keeping them, Shane. We need more queer friends.”

“We have queer friends.” His husband said with a roll of his eyes.

Ilya stopped in his tracks and glared. “Name me one queer friend we have who doesn’t currently or formerly play hockey?” Shane opened his mouth to reply and he added quickly. “And who isn’t in a committed relationship to a hockey player.”

Shane frowned like an angry kitten. “Does Rose count?”

“No. She was in relationship with you.”

R’s Elite Squad:

Chelsea: How did we not google this?

Brittany: Our Millennial cards should be taken away

Tiffany: I mean…. As four American lesbians how were we supposed to know to pay so much attention to professional Hockey.

Kelsey: Canadian…I am Canadian… and I am gen Z thankyouverymuch.

Tiffany: Then what’s your excuse?

Kelsey: curling family?

Brittany: Why did you not tell us about this for like twelve hours Chels?

Chelsea: I mean you are no longer my wife.

Brittany: Ha. Ha. You could have at least spared us some embarrassment.

Tiffany: It was an embarrassment of riches all around

Kelsey: riches btw what do we get amber for her birthday now?

Chapter 10: June

Chapter Notes

Hi all, there will be an epilogue, it will probably be posted tomorrow!

June

Jackie Pike was pulling up to her driveway with a foldable wagon and a camping chair. The wagon was filled with a portable speaker, a bubble machine and various handmade signs. It would be a ridiculous image, if it wasn’t for the fact that every other driveway on the street was filled with the other driveways each having nearly the exact same strange set up.

It was the first week of June, and the last day of school for elementary students. The parade through the neighborhood seemed to be an unusual tradition that neither any of Chelsea’s family nor the Pike kids had at any of their previous schools. Yet it was a beloved tradition within this school community. Being the only house that was on the short two-kilometer route to and from the school, all of Robbie’s mothers and Jackie Pike had congregated in her driveway to cheer on the impending parade of children.

Both Ruth and Emma were sitting in a small folding playpen in the front yard that looked cuter than a small portable prison it was. The girls were close enough in age that they would probably end up together in the same grade when the time came for them to start school. That was a thought for another time as parents moved to stand at the end of their long drives, balloons waving, bubble machines sending suds into the streets, barely school appropriate music playing as the residential streets were closed by local law enforcement for the short parade. They all seemed to be proudly displaying homemade signs cheering on their kids declaring that they were moving onto the next grades with catchy saying.

“You ready to have middle schoolers?” Tiffany asked as she helped Jackie set up the bubble machines she had brought. Before a week ago none of them had even been aware that a bubble machine was something you could just casually order for next day delivery.  

“No.”  Jackie said as she took a long sip from her travel mug. It may have been June, but it was still 9 am in the morning and the sun hadn’t entirely peeked out yet.

They sat in their lawn chairs, the five women keeping an eye on the toddlers as the street began to fill with parents and younger siblings all filled with excitement and buzz that filled the air. There was the relief that they had come to the close of Robbie’s first school year in Canada, not only had their son managed to find friends but they had as well.

“The boys headed out to Seattle this morning?”

None of them were actively paying much attention to the finale of the Stanley Cup, but at least they were aware of it now. Especially considering that their home team was in it, and they knew about a quarter of the team on a first name basis. 

“We’re meeting them for game four.”  She said casually with a grin, knowing she would have to explain why she wasn’t rushing the kids out of school to join them on the west coast. Ottawa had won the first two games of the series in crushing defeats that were almost embarrassing. “They have to win four games out of the series to get the cup”

It had been noticeable how other parents were interacting with Jackie more pleasantly, now that Hayden’s team was on an upwards trajectory. She answered all their questions with a polite smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes and relished the small eyerolls she could manage with Chelsea and the others who seemed to have no interest in men’s professional sports.

She pulled out her phone and snapped an image of the setup cheering on both Robbie and the Pike kids. “Going to send that to all of their dads?” Tiffany asked as she settled back down into her own camp chair.

There had been genuine relief that their colossal misunderstanding had been seen as something to laugh at in retrospect. “Just dads one and two.” Jackie quipped as she typed on her phone likely sending the message to all three of them.

“So, just how embarrassed is Hayden?” Brittany asked with a frown, it had been an admittedly insane last few weeks for the Pike family and most conversations had been measured in seconds rather than minutes.

“He was embarrassed, of course he would be. But honestly…” Jackie began as she looked out on the street, a wistful look forming on her face. “Yeah, I see how you could make the mistake that Shane and Ilya are their parents. I mean, Shane has had a car seat in his garage since Arthur was born, they literally are the kids’ emergency contact, and our kids stay over at their house so often they have a room there. They have changed diapers, bandaged scraped knees, been the tooth fairy and handled broken bones. They had been a huge part of our kids lives both because of proximity and because….” She paused and leaned in as if telling them a secret. “They both want to be parents, hell we all know they would be very good parents, but Shane and Ilya are famously stubborn. They keep saying that they are going to wait until they retire to start a family, but fuck I wish they wouldn’t.  I think that Hayden and I have been trying especially in the last year to show them how it is possible to parent and play hockey. It’s not perfect and you certainly miss stuff, but it is possible.”

Chelsea found herself smiling. She had to admit; she too was certain that Shane and Ilya would make great parents. They had most definitely earned their number one uncles’ mugs when it came to raising the Pike kids. It was clear that both the adults and the children were connected by something deeper than hockey after all this time. “So, he’s not like majority offended that we thought he was once in a gay relationship with Ilya?”

Jackie gave a real genuine smile, “Yeah no. He’s going to act like it bother him-”

Kelsey cut in, “Because sarcasm is all of yours love language.”

“But he’s okay with it.” Jackie confirmed with all seriousness in her face. “Honestly, it’s the hockey thing we still can’t get over. How did you not realize that you were just casually running into some of the biggest hockey players in the world?

Brittany hummed, “I guess it is like not realizing that your next-door neighbor is like Meryl Streep or something” There was a nod, and the conversation died down as a roar of students could be heard coming up the street.

In all honesty the parade was cute, each grade band was coordinated in rainbow colors with the eldest grade getting to wear the full spectrum of the rainbow and the descending grades each taking a color. The kids smiled proudly, each class carrying banners that they had decorated with names and handprints, parents waving at them proudly from the street as they passed by.

The eldest grade, of which the Pike twins were part of, were walking quickly. The kids clearly over elementary school while also conflictedly sentimental about their step up to intermediary education. The Pike twins waved at them, hopping off the route to have Brittany take a picture with Jackie and the girls before they scampered off to join their friends, trying to catch the many bubbles that were filling the air while not so subtly gossiping about crushes.

Arthur came by, his hair spray-painted green to match the green tie die shirt which had been part of a class project the week before. He looked overwhelmed and verging of being overstimulated, but happy. He posed for a photo with his mother as well, gave few high fives to Robbie’s moms and moved along with his classmates.

Robbie and Amber had blue hands by the time they arrived in the driveway, even though their hands had been clean of marker when they had been dropped off at school thirty minutes before. They were jumping, waving, having the time of their lives as the center of attention. Jackie took a picture of Robbie standing in the driveway with all four of his mothers and Amber was half of a blur in her photo with her mother before they ran to join the trudge of students heading uphill back to school.

In a blink, the kindergartners were strolling by an exhausted mass crying in purple as their harried teachers and a throng of parents and school staff followed in the rear to make sure that none of them got lost. The parade, like so much of the parent-run events at the school, seemed to have been more set up than the actual event, but the kids had been smiling and as the street began to clean up and return to normal. Chelsea understood as she watched Jackie help pull chairs back into the garage why the tradition was so firmly kept.

**

“Okay.” Chelsea looked down at her phone at the text message she had been sent. “Yuna says we should stand on the corner of…” She looked up at the street signs and pointed. “Over there I see Kelsey….” She gestured and she felt the wagon behind her swivel as they made a path forward Kelsey, while not exactly tall had a hair color and the toddler on her shoulders made her an easy landmark in the crowd.

“Ma, Mummy!” Robbie called out as he jumped out of the wagon and ran towards his other two mothers. Her son was, wearing a custom jersey that many in the crowd had. Hollanov, the numbers 2481 crammed together on the back and sides of the jersey. It was, as they had been told, one of the most requested jerseys in the entire Ottawa line up.

Chelsea tugged at her Rozanov jersey, it was warm and she was already regretting wearing it, but it would have been out of place had she shown up to the parade in anything other than her only piece of team merchandise. The jerseys had been given to them by Yuna Hollander after the Centaurs had won the third game in the series. Yuna had texted, asking what sizes, colors and team member numbers they preferred, and the jerseys had shown up on their doorsteps twenty-four hours later. She and Tiffany had opted for the pride night jerseys with the team’s logo colored with the stylized stripes of the progress pride flat, Rozanov for Chelsea and Hollander for Tiffany.  As they joined up with their other co-parents, they saw that the other couple had opted for home colors, with Ruth and Brittany rocking Hollander once more and Kelsey, ever the one to stand out, being the lone one in Hayden Pike’s number.

“Gotta show some love to the teams worst player.” She said over the roar of the crowd. It was packed; half of the city seemed to be out on the streets waiting for the victory parade in the middle of a weekday. Luckily, they had been able to walk from their neighborhood to this point in the parade though it had taken twice as long as normal with the buzz of excitement in the air.

“Thank god you brought your wagon.” Brittany said as she looked longingly at the portable seat for the kids and all the accompanying crap. She dumped her backpack unceremoniously as they stood on their toes to see what was happening.

The parade didn’t even start for another half an hour and already there were twenty deep in the sea of people standing alongside the barricaded roads. Personally, she had no intention of trying to push her way to the very front of the awaiting masses. While she certainly would have preferred to watch the local new coverage from the comfort of her living room, she knew that Robbie getting to see it in person would be more poignant.

“Did Jacks need help with the kids?” Tiffany shouted in her ear as the air around them buzzed with excitement. Confetti was falling from windows high above, flags being waved, signs held up high in the air. It was an overstimulating mess, and she just had to witness it for the time being.  She couldn’t even imagine what it must have felt like to be in the parade. To have such a spectacle of support and outcrying for something you had accomplished.

Chelsea wondered if the Pike kids were watching somewhere. Maybe inside of a nice, air-conditioned building that was along the route. She had heard of people renting hotel rooms just so they could get a comfortable view of the parade. “No, they are on a float she said.” Kelsey shrugged, not entirely sure what she was about to witness.

There was a ceremony somewhere downtown, maybe in front of the capitol or other municipal building. She wasn’t too sure. It was likely Ottawa officials congratulating the team, probably declaring some sort of Centaur’s Day, maybe showing off that weird cup trophy. It probably was the kind of outdoor ceremony that could barely be heard over the roar of the crowd in person.

“This is a lot.” Tiffany said as they moved to stand close together, keeping a watchful eye on the kids. Chelsea was glad that there were four sets of eyes to be vigilant.  While the parade was a friendly family affair at noon on a weekday, more than a handful of hockey fans were on a permanent drunken high after the teams win three days before.

“I mean they did win two years in a row, I think that’s a big deal.” Chelsea heard herself saying over the pumping beat of “Celebration” that seemed to be coming from somewhere.

The time passed by in a haze of cheers and raised voices as music played, fireworks were shot off, confetti filled the air so much that the sky seemed to turn red and black. The parade began, a roar of even more music, of even more cheers as cars filed slowly down the streets, flanked by security officials and seemingly hired hype people who were throwing things into the crowd like it was Madi Gras.

There were official announcements coming from somewhere, blaring in both English and French calling out the names of coaches and players as they were escorted down in specially wrapped double decker busses that declared them as campions once more. The open level of the sight-seeing buses were filled with players, waving and cheering at their fans, smiles on their faces.  

Surely it had to feel good to see this many people cheering you on. To be proud of your accomplishments at something which was essentially your job. Cheslea was more interested in watching those around her. She noted the older fans, the ones who probably remembered seasons with dismal records, who were still in disbelief that their loyalty had been rewarded with two consecutive championships. There were tears in the eyes of those who were doing their best to actively remember something which was historic to them.

Again, they were far enough back in the crowd, and blended in enough that they doubted anyone would recognize them in the haze of fans, but it was still nice to snap a few pictures to prove they had been there. Chelsea heard the mutterings from Tiffany beside her as they began to recognize some of the faces waving from the tops of the double-decker buses. Some of the rookies were the first to be charioted forth, after the coaches. The young men looked absolutely shell shocked at the sight before them but they waved and screamed so much that their throats would be sore for weeks.

The lower ranking players came next with the alternates. Again, the top decks were filled with red and black, with players and others who had been granted the status to be beside them. Partners, children, the occasional parent of a player who was simply doing their job of waving and basking in the praise. Every once and a while there would be a loud wave of cheering, and a name called out as some of the players got off of the buses to walk the route with fans reaching out to try and touch them.

“This is so straight and gay at the same time.” Tiffany muttered out of the corner of her mouth as she adjusted Emma on her own shoulders, holding up the toddler who was more interested in trying to eat the biodegradable confetti falling from the sky.

Chelsa did have to admit that there was a noticeable number of pride flags and regalia in the mix. Someone in the crowd nearby who must have overheard Tiffany let out joyous; “Queerest team in the league!”

Then came the more players whose names were more frequently spotted on jerseys. The cheers grew louder, and they made sure that Robbie was up on Brittany’s shoulders, the tallest of the bunch so that he could get the best sight line possible.

Amber Pike’s hair had red and black streaks of tinsel in it, and Jackie must bribed her with something highly valuable to get the kid to wear her father’s number for once. But she was smiling, her wild and unrestrained as she waved out at the crowd for a few seconds and then ran around the top of the bus with her siblings and a few of the other players kids to wave at the opposite side of the street.

“AMBER!” Robbie screamed at his own personal maximum volume which was nothing in comparison to the adults around him. “AMBER!” He screamed at his friend who likely had no shot of seeing him in the crowd, but still he looked almost dazed.

Chelsea looked up at her son, he would always remember the time he stood on his mother’s shoulders in a mass in downtown Ottawa and watched as his grade one friend got to be in a massive parade. This was the kind of moment that turned into remarkable stories that lasted a lifetime. The sort of fun trivia fact that he could pull out to stump his coworkers in a few decades. ‘Who once was picked up from chess club by a multi-winning Stanley Cup hockey player?’ Robbie Smith.

**

Whoever decided that Pride month should be in June was likely a man, and not a parent; of that Chelsea was certain. Because her schedule was packed with the chaos of the end of the school year, the start of summer activities, and pride events every weekend that she was somehow expected to attend and be happy to participate in. She had never been one for partying, never been one to stay out late clubbing, and yet every June came with a mix of excitement and dread with just how little free time she had for thirty days.

Now she was a millennial lesbian with a family. That could get out of some of the more vice centered events, but it also meant she now felt the obligation to drag the kids to family friendly themed pride events.

“So, this isn’t the official Ottawa pride parade?” Hayden Pike said as he found them in the crowd that was mingled inside of the bar, the garage doors were opened, and it smelled distinctly of dogs and beer in the space.

“No.” Kelsey said not even looking up from her phone. “That’s in August.”

“But June is pride month.” Hayden said persistently.

Somehow, she found herself on the third Saturday in June standing in a mix of rainbow clad people and dogs at one of the many indoor doggy playparks/bars in the greater Ottawa area. Her own kids were waiting impatiently for the small local parade around the block to take place.  Because not only did she now have to attend kid events, and queer events, but also dog events.

All of the couples, now proud owners of dogs, had been roped into attending by Ilya Rozanov. The man was mostly just ecstatic that Anya had more doggy friends to play with. But also, that he had more than just a few co-workers he could convince into dog centered social activities. He was likely off arguing with the event owners somewhere that he should be the grand marshal of the parade.

Tiffany shifted the chest pack that contained a very small, crusty black and tan long haired Chihuahua named Bitsy. The dog looked like it was going to freeze and snap in half at the first frost, but it was surprisingly happy to sit up against Tiffany’s chest and snuggle contently despite all the new people and dogs around them.  “June’s not a worldwide thing.”

“Besides it is literally part of the Gay Agenda to make sure that major pride parades don’t all happen on the same weekend.” Chelsea added as she looked at the Pike’s dog, Luna.

Of course, the Pike’s would name their dog the most basic pet name ever. Luna wasn’t a purebred golden retriever. Though she had long blonde waves that reminiscent of the breed the shape of her body was wrong. Luna looked like someone had taken the torso of a golden retriever and stuck the legs of a corgi on it. It was just a plain ridiculous looking mutt they had adopted from a local rescue. Jackie had already stated in the week since they had picked up the dog that Luna clearly only had one brain cell.

The white pit bull that Kelsey and Brittany had adopted was wearing a rainbow tutu and a large, beaded necklace with its name “Princess Sparkles” on it. While the dog was a solid eighty pounds of well-defined muscle, it was the friendliest thing ever. Its thin tail was whipping around like a propeller fanning them all with cool air as it gleefully let the children hang off it.

Kelsey looked Hayden up and down and spoke with the confidence someone still in their twenties had, “Hayden has anyone told you this is an overcorrection.” She gestured to his outfit which looked like the pride section of any major retailer had thrown up on him. Everything was a full spectrum rainbow, from his shirt to his socks. He was holding onto Luna’s rainbow lead with apprehension, most likely terrified that she was going to break away from his death grip at the first sight of a squirrel.

“You’re like a middle-aged white lady who just learned about all the injustice in the world and is overcorrecting by being too much of an ally.”

Pike wisely did not come up with a response to Kelsey’s statement he just blinked at her as if trying to communicate in morse code. Jackie just chuckled and muttered “I told you” as she knelt down and added a rainbow bandana around Luna’s neck then waved to the final pair joining them.

Shane was holding onto Anya leash, the dog adorably and somewhat recognizably dressed up in a drag queen inspired outfit complete with a large blonde wig that was somehow staying on top of the dogs head.

“Sorry, they ran out of lesbian flags again.” He said as the pair of husbands caught up to the group. Somehow, that was common occurrence at nearly every queer event Chelsea had been to in the last four years, regardless apparently of the state or country. There was probably a joke nestled in that truth, but she wasn’t fast enough to form it before Ilya acted.

Ilya was standing beside his husband wearing a very slutty tank top that proudly said I’m a bi-con. He reached into his fanny pack that he had on over a pair of very tight short shorts. He pulled out three small purple, orange and pink stripped flags and passed them to Tiffany, Brittany and Chelsea and a small magenta, yellow and cyan Pansexual flag which he gave to Kelsey. “Be gay, do crime.” He said with a large smile.

Shane rolled his eyes in embarrassment. “It’s an internet saying.” Brittany supplied as she looked around at the crowd of dogs at the bar who were beginning to get more restless.

Ilya’s hand splayed across the very open tank top he was wearing that showed off a lot of male side boob. “When have I ever committed a crime?”

Hayden gave a snort. “Do you really want us to answer that?”

There was a crackle of a microphone springing to life as one of a young man, likely some well intentioned bartender feeling a little overwhelmed looking at the crowd trying not to be too visibly startled by the presence of professional athletes who had attended their small little event, ushered them all to silence. There were some words spoken, the route and the rules of the costume contest explained before the small parade began with a disordered filing into the street.

Of course, it was controlled chaos. With dogs barreling down the coordinated route, leashes getting tangled and far too many distractions to keep anyone on track. Between the dogs that were just eager for pets, and the dogs that were too terrified of all the new faces and smells it was an adorable problem. But it was a half hour walk filled with laughter, smiles and the joy that came from seeing a few dozen dogs dressed up in storebought costumes and homemade ones that all reflected queer love, pride and joy.

There were rainbows and prideful statements everywhere. From dog dressed up to imitate queer icons, and dogs wearing just as much rainbow branded stuff as Hayden Pike. None of their dogs won in any of the categories, which was fine with Chelsea. But she enjoyed Ilay’s feigned outrage at Anay losing the best dressed to a pug dressed as the Babadook.

They squished into a picnic table in the outdoor portion of the enclosed play park. The adults all clutched onto their favorite beverages as the seven kids swirled around them, the four dogs all off leash now, managing to get along despite their contrasts in sizes. The conversation lingered for an hour or so, drifting from topic to topic with ease and never once touching upon hockey.

A year ago, she had been frustratedly packing up her life in America. She had been so afraid that moving their entire family unit far away to another country would be the wrong choice. She could have never known that a year later she would be sitting in a safe and welcoming space that smelled faintly of beer and enzymatic cleaning solution with not only her son’s friends, but her friends as well. A cheesier thought was ruminating in her mind, something about the joy that came from being able to be oneself, but it faded away as a jubilant laugh brough her back to the moment.

“Pike you have the dumbest dog ever!” Ilya was shouting out as he watched poor Luna try and eat a large tire meant for the dogs to climb on.

The reply that followed was sarcastic and bitter, but it was dripping in love. “Thank you for the brand-new information Roz!”

Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:

Chelsea: Welcome to the new group chat!

Brittany: Have a great summer Pike fam!

Tiffany: Congrats on the second win!

Kelsey: go sports

Ilya: Second win for Centaurs. This is Shane’s 5^th cup.

Jackie: And Ilya’s third cup win!

Hayden: Jacks……

Shane: Hayden now also has four Stanley cup wins.

Jackie: Way to go boys!

Brittany: Summer is already booked up and insane, but I figured we could all stay in touch anyways before the kids start school again in the fall.

Chelsea: Hence the name.

Shane: I am not a current “grown up” of the class of 2034.

Brittany: You are still both very much grownups in the Pike kids’ lives.

Jackie: You are literally our kid’s emergency contacts.

Ilya: I humbly accept my role as Amber Pike’s Papa in this group.

Hayden: ROZANOV no!

Ilya: What are you going to do, out me again.

Brittany: HAYDEN FUCKING PIKE YOU OUTTED THEM!

Shane: In a way. He accidentally played a large part in our very public and unplanned outing a few years back, you can certainly google it if you want to know specifics.

Tiffany: DUDE you do not OUT PEOPLE. HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK YOUR ENTTIRE FUCKING LIFE?

Chelsea: Holy shit. That seemed like a horrible situation for you both.

Kelsey: wghloia hrgoiarnglkNRG;ARIGHA;ROGH

Hayden: It was a mistake! I have apologized like a thousand times

Shane: Hayden has been forgiven, truly.

Ilya: Yes, we do not hold a grudge. We just use it as blackmail now.

Jackie: I threatened divorce.

Kelsey: my queen

Chelsea: We will discuss this at a later point in person, Pike...

Shane: Again, I am not legally responsible of a child graduating in 2034.

Ilya: Shane how have you forgotten about our middle child, Amber.

Shane: …

Ilya: Anya is eldest child. Luca is baby.

Jackie: Luca is a grown adult who can now legally drink in all countries.

Ilya: He is my baby. I father all rookies.

Tiffany: That phrasing makes no sense.

Hayden: Please stop claiming my children as your own.

Ilya: Amber has chosen herself to call me Papa.

Hayden: And you have allowed it!

Ilya: It is what her heart wants.

Hayden: There are rumors on Reddit that Arthur is your son too!

Ilya: Ridiculous, I had never even met the delightful Jackie when he was born.

Hayden: May I be removed from this chat?

Tiffany: No

Jackie: NO!

Shane: No

Kelsey: nope

Brittany: No. HAGS Pike fam! See you in September. Hope the kids are in the same class again.

Shane: What does HAGS mean?

Tiffany: Have a great summer. Didn't everyone write that in your high school yearbook?

Shane: I didn't go to high school; I was privately tutored by that point since I was semi pro.

Kelsey: that explains soooooooooooooooooooooooo much

Chapter 11: Epilogue

Chapter Notes

I don’t even know where to begin. When the idea for this story first popped into my head it was going to be like 10k words max and maybe a one shot. But then it grew and grew and I can’t believe how many of you have read it and fallen in love with these characters.

Thank you so much for all the kudos, comments and love this story has gotten. The support and love has been overwhelming and left me speechless at times. I was planning on replying to all the comments as I went along posting, but there are so many and I had a busy few weeks with work so it might take me a while, but know that I appreciate every laugh, theory and every bemoaning of not being able to leave kudos more than once.

Fun fact, the arrangement of lesbian moms is based off one of the first queer families I ever encountering growing up in the late nineties/early aughts. I had a classmate with four moms, no rhyming names, but they all had very similar haircuts. They showed up to all events as a strong and unshakable group of co-parents who loved their kid no matter what.

I hope you enjoy this little epilogue that my brain conquered up.
~E.

July:

Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:

Tiffany: How is hockey camp going?

Shane: Overwhelming but great.

Chelsea: So is this putting a damper on you and Ilya actually becoming parents one day?

Kelsey: because we all know you would be great at it

Jackie: Yes, you both have lots of practice and experience that will ensure you are great fathers one day.

Shane: Jackie, I swear you are being secretly paid off by my mother. And she knows more about our plans for this than you.

Hayden: Plans? You have plans for kids Shane? Why didn’t you tell me?

Ilya: Hayden we all know why we don’t trust you with our secrets anymore.

Tiffany: Yeah Hayden! No secrets for you ever again.

Chelsea: That is very exciting guys! Let us know what support you might need one day in the future.

~~

Brittany: **image of Robbie and Ruth standing outside of the Hockey Hall of Fame** Robbie and Ruth wanted to visit Shane and Ilya’s future home!

Kelsey: sorry hayden

Hayden: I mean… it is true.

Shane: Don’t worry, we will still invite you to the ceremony though.

Ilya: If you still alive

Chelsea: The back of your head will probably be in some of the group shots of the Ottawa double win.

Jackie: If you’re lucky, they might even mention you by name in the wing that they will need to build for Shane and Ilya!

Hayden: From my own wife…. Really?

Shane: No offense, but why were you even near the hockey hall of fame? That’s in Minnesota.

Brittany: We’re headed up to Voyageurs National Park for a week and it was literally on the way.

Kelsey: made for a good pit stop

Hayden: How is Minnesota?

Brittany: Buggy

Kelsey: also fingers crossed we dont nearly die boating this time

Jackie: Ummm….die?

Brittany: Look, the waterways here are famously complex okay, cut me some slack on my boat driving skills.

~~

Ilya: Kels we need to Barbeinheimer when you get back.

Kelsey: OMG yes I may have already seen barbie without you though…

Shane: He’s already seen it like three times.

Ilya: There is nothing wrong with seeing a movie more than once Shane. As you would know!

Hayden: I bet Shane has seen Mighty Ducks like a hundred times.

Shane: NO I have not.

Jackie: Probably seen Moana at least ten times because of our kids alone.

Kelsey: seeing a kids move a million times because of your kids doesnt count

Ilya: We are focusing on the masterpiece that is Barbie.

Shane: Please don’t get him started… he will not stop talking about how it is the best movie of the year.

Jackie: Can I tag along?

Ilya: Of course, all are welcome to attend Barbie. I will be paying though, tickets and snacks, and it has to be the nice theater downtown with the fancy popcorn and food that they bring to your seats.

Shane: What he is trying to convey is that he watched Barbie and is now feeling very conflicted about his place as a man with power in a very misogynistic and unequitable field. This is him attempting to make amends.

Tiffany: Dude you are an openly queer man in a professional sport, isn’t life hard for you too?

Ilya: My struggles are not the same as yours.

Hayden: Okay, this is getting too philosophical for a text thread.

Ilya: PIKE. Strike one for you.  Remember I am still your captain.

Jackie: Don’t you mean penalty box?

Kelsey: please leave sports out of this

August

Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:

Ilya: **image of Arthur standing proudly outside of the Royal Tyrrell Museum**

Thanks for the recommendation to visit Hunter’s family.

Tiffany: I can’t believe you got to see my favorite fossil in person before I did.

Ilya: Why you not tell me your favorite here. Which one? You could have come?

Tiffany: That’s really sweet of you Ilya but that was your and Shane’s special uncle trip with Arthur.

Ilya: Which one favorite?

Hayden: Somehow, he is menacing over text.

Ilya: Shut up Hayden. Tiff… favorite…. Please….pretty… please.

Tiffany: Hold on I might misspell it. Boreapelta Markmitcheli. Best preserved dinosaur fossil found so far.

Ilya: Will find, send you photo.

Chelsea: Guys that is so sweet of you.

Kelsey: are you taking the girls on uncle trips too

Shane: Ruby is going to Acadia National Park in October and we are taking Jade to Lake Louise in September.

Jackie: I love that my kids will go on outdoor nature adventures with their guncles and not their parents.

Ilya: We are taking Amber to ice hotel in the winter.

Chelsea: Why am I not surprised that Amber wants to go to the ice hotel.

Ilya: **image of the back of Arthur’s head looking upon the specimen of Borealopelta Markmitchelli’s head.**

Shane: Holy shit Tiffany this dinosaur is insane. I can’t believe there is preserved skin and internal organs.

Hayden: You are about to become obsessed with dinosaurs now aren’t you?

Shane: As an officially diagnosed autistic man I am allowed a dinosaur phase Hayd.

~~

Hayden: So hypothetically Chelsea would you be willing to let any family secret recipes become not so secret recipes?

Chelsea: Are we talking about sharing my barbeque expertise with your grill obsessed teammate?

Hayden: Yes

Shane: His name is Bood.  Well, Boodram, we all call him Bood. It’s a nickname.

Chelsea: Hell yes I will spill some recipes! Once you get disowned from your family, they are no longer subject to secrecy.

Ilya: I don’t think you want to do this….

Chelsea: Why not?

Ilya: Bood has obsession with grill. Will not stop asking you questions. He will bother you at all hours.

Chelsea: He seems like a good guy from what you’ve told me about him

Ilya: Please, I am looking out for you.

Hayden: The Cap is overreacting.

Ilya: Don’t say I didn’t warn you. He grills in the dead of winter when it is like minus 10000 out.

Shane: Even before two cup wins that patio was decked out enough to make his winter BBQ’S a pleasant experience.

Ilya: Calm down… I know that patio gets you all mr. real estate horny

Shane: I’m not saying that I want his set up, but I can appreciate the time, money and effort he put into creating an outdoor space that is usable year-round.

Jackie: Now it is even more tricked out with that extra cup money.

Chelsea: This is the guy with like five smokers right?

Hayden: Yep!

Chelsea: He might need a bigger backyard when he is done talking with me.

Jackie: I’ll warn Cassie.

~~

Kelsey: PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE

Tiffany: Hockey dudes where are you? I thought we were meeting up!

Jackie: Change of plans, just meeting up with the ally squad, we are by the fountain by the bank.

Chelsea: Hayden Pike your rainbow attire better be restrained today!

Ilya: One of the most strange sentences ever formed.

Brittany: OMG are you both grand marshalling!

Tiffany: Woot. Hometown boys leading the parade!

Chelsea: Is this because of the double double win?

**double** stupid auto complete.

Shane: They wanted us in Toronto. We said no.

Kelsey: surely Toronto pride is bigger and more prestigious than Ottawa

Ilya: We will not go to Toronto for pride. Bad blood in Toronto.

Shane: Specifically bad hockey blood in Toronto. Long story will tell you later.

Jackie: Good luck boys! Hope your arms don’t fall off from waving.

Chelsea: yeah, remember to do the Princess Wave

Hayden: Princess wave?

Ilya: Yes. Was part of Yuna’s media training.

Shane: Thought my mom always called it the prince wave when I was growing up.

Kelsey: fuck the gender binary

September

Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:

Jackie: I can’t believe the twins are in middle school. School runs are about to be insane.

Chelsea: Hey Jackie, we totally are down for picking up Amber and Arthur if you need.

Brittany: Especially when the guy’s season starts up. Just let us know!

Ilya: BBL is also available.

Kelsey: the what now

Tiffany: Umm did you get the wrong chat love?

Shane: It’s his new nickname for Luca.

Ilya: Yes BBL, baby boy luca.

Shane: He is very aware of the other meaning of that phrase.

Ilya: Yes I know what BBL is, but I will never need to worry about them when I have Shane’s butt

Hayden: Ew…. Please not on the grow up group chat.

Jackie: Also, Luca is your co-worker who has the exact same availability as all of you.

Kelsey: yeah make some friends who aren’t on your team.

Shane: Easier said than done.

Hayden: You need to get a hobby. Or kids.

Ilya: I don’t see you walking no children in nature.

Hayden: WTF man?

Brittany: You would be a Tammie Brown fan.

Ilya: **image of Ilya standing next to the drag queen Tammie Brown. He is smiling in an almost crazed manner out of excitement. Tammie Brown has no fucking clue that she is standing next to a ridiculously well-known professional athlete.**

Highlight of the great gay road trip.

Kelsey: i neeeed to hear about that road trip

Brittany: No but really Pikes, you have two different schools to worry about now. We can handle the little ones whenever you need it.

~~

Ilya: Tiff, what times are your concert again?

Tiffany: Guy’s, I really don’t need you to attend.

Shane: We are your friends, of course we will be there.

Chelsea: We know that you are busy with getting ready for work to ramp up again

Jackie: Sorry we can’t make it Tiffany the twins have us out of town this weekend with their dance stuff.

Hayden: Plus, it is like the last free weekend before the season starts.

Tiffany: Wait, Shane, Ilya, shouldn’t you be at your cottage and not attending some lesbians woman’s choir concert about the history of women’s rights?

Chelsea: How come all the gay men’s chorus get to sing fun pop songs and we have to sing about suffrage and oppression?

 Ilya: There is Sunday show right? Plus, we need to support queer arts!

Chelsea: Sunday at 2pm.

Tiffany: again, we don’t expect you to attend…

Ilya: Yes, we will. I helped you with the pronunciation on that Ukrainian song.

Shane: Besides, we have already made a donation to your choir. Don’t worry, it was anonymous.

Hayden: Us too.

Chelsea: Guys… too much….

Tiffany: She means to say thank you, she is just shy about having friends who can use their obscene amounts of disposable income for good.

Ilya: So… does that mean I need to not bring my meter long Tiffany and Chelsea banner to the show.

Shane: He’s joking. I promise.

October

Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:

Kelsey: no. you cant make me. I dont want to go

Shane: Kelsey honestly it will be better than any episode of reality tv.

Hayden: It’s just once Kelsey.

Tiffany: Besides, the kids are super excited about it.

Kelsey: no. idontwannago. This is mee kicking and screaming so I dont have to goto hockey game.

Ilya: Come on its against Montreal, like Shane said. Great entertainment. Very little hockey acutally played.

Hayden: Fuck Montreal

Tiffany: Fuck Montreal

Brittany: Fuck Montreal

Jackie: FUCK MONTREAL

Chelsea: Fuck Montreal

Kelsey: can I wear that on a shirt?

Shane: sorry no. Harris would kill us if he knew we’d allow you to do that.

Kelsey: **too many crying emojis than can be counted**

Hayden: Would you be willing to go to a women’s hockey game?

Ilya: The PWHL is gay. VERY GAY!

Kelsey: its not a guys or girls thing

Brittany: She just truly finds hockey mind numbingly boring.

Kelsey:fine

once

just once. i will goto hockey once even if it makes me bad canadian for hating it because I good friend

Ilya: This is why I love being friends with you.

~~

Chelsea: Costume round up!

Hayden: Halloween is three weeks out

Shane: Planning!

Chelsea: Some of you still haven’t told me what you are doing, and we are not having any repeats!

Ilya: Yes, very important we strategize for doggy Halloween parade

Hayden: You know the word strategize?

Kelsey: i assume that vocabulary is work related for him

Jackie: I think he is going for pure numbers in the group category.

Tiffany: I can’t believe that Ilya didn’t push for a group Barbie theme.

Shane: The team is doing all Ken’s for a social thing.

Hayden: Don’t get him started. He will sing.

Kelsey: I want to be Rosalina

Shane: Who?

Ilya: the princess from super Mario galaxy. Also:

**borderline thirst-trap pic of Ilya wearing the Kenough sweatshirt**

Kelsey: correction the hottie from super mario galaxy

Jackie: The twins want to be evil? IDK. Ruby is Wario and Jade is Waluigi

Hayden: Why do I have to be Bowser?

Jackie: Because I am your princess peach!

Hayden: That implies that you are like canonically sort of married to Shane you know.

Brittany: We once thought you were!

Jackie: I’ll be honest. If Hayden ever died, I would have considered it.

Shane: You would have married me, if my best friend and your husband died???!!!!

Jackie: It could have been a platonic thing. I would have been fine being your beard for the rest of our lives.

Hayden: I don’t like that you are planning for my death.

Jackie: We have had this conversation so many times in our marriage, considering your job-

Ilya: EXCUSE ME, YOU WANT TO WHAT WITH MY HUSBAND JAQULINE PIKE? I know where you live! And I have been with him longer than any of you!

Jackie: Calm your tits Ilya. I know that now! But Hayden, if you do die young, I will mourn for the appropriate amount of time and then move on with someone else.

Tiffany: Ha, she’d find another man!

Jackie: I’m not limiting myself to just men.

Kelsey: my queen, you dropped this…. **gif of a crown**

Ilya: You want switch with me Pike? I don’t mind being big scarry villain

Hayden: Sure. Honestly I am Luigi.

Brittany: We have gotten Ruth a toad costume.

Chelsea: FINAL LIST:

Ruby- Wario

Jade-Waluigi

Arthur- Shy Guy

Amber- Daisy

Robbie- Donkey Kong

Emma- Toadette

Ruth-Toad

Hayden- Luigi

Jackie-Princess Peach

Shane- Mario

Ilya- Bowser

Anya- Yoshi

Bitsy- Banana

Princess Sparkles- Chain Chomp

Luna- Blue Shell

Chelsea- Petey Piranha

Tiffany-Dry Bones

Brittany- King Boo

Kelsey- Rosalina

Ilya: We better win

~~

Shane: **group photo of all eight adults, seven kids and four dogs winning the group costume category of the doggy Halloween parade**

So proud of our eldest daughter on her win.

Brittany: Such a fun but chaotic day. I love that we got to take Princess Sparkles doggy trick or treating.

Kelsey: we also now dont need to buy treats or toys for like the rest of the year

Hayden: Isn’t this a bit rigged? I mean I know you both donate large amounts of money to the shelter that runs this event.

Shane: We won that category fair and square.

Tiffany: I mean I think there was definitely some nostalgia bias

Jackie: Hayden, let Ilya have this.

Kelsey: yeah let the man have his victory

Tiffany: Don’t you have more cups than Ilya Hayden?

Ilya: For now….

Shane: We all know Hayd will probably retire first out of the three of us.

Hayden: Why am I even on this chat if all you do is gang up on me?

November

Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:

Ilya: American thanksgiving our place. Be there.

Tiffany: Ummmmm?

Kelsey: wow dude give us a choice at least

Chelsea: Neither of you are American.

Ilya: I lived in Boston for a decade.

Hayden: He just really wants an excuse to eat thanksgiving food

Ilya: Yes, American holiday of eating. It is best.

Shane: Doesn’t actually have to be on the 23rd though since that is a school night.

Brittany: Let me check our group calendar.

Kelsey: can we have sweet potato casserole

Chelsea: Punctuation please. Is that a question or a statement Kels?

Jackie: is that the marshmallows on top of sweet potatoes?

Ilya: Yes, all of the foods. Shane cannot say no when it is traditional holiday foods that is rule in our house. Holidays are modified bird food days.

Tiffany: What does that mean again?

Ilya: No one is making him anything special just because he is fancy athlete. He can just choose not to eat bread and sweets.

Chelsea: That seems kind of controlling…

Hayden: Trust me, this is growth for Shane.

Brittany: Pikes can you do the Friday the 24^th?

Shane: Yes (Not a Pike)

Jackie: Yes

Ilya: Yes (Not a Pike yet… Jackie I am Bi you at least have a shot with meeee if Hayden dies)

Hayden: Yes. Will everyone stop trying to get with my wife?

Ilya: No. She is too good for you.

Brittany: No

Kelsey: nope sorry hayden

Brittany: I will bring homemade cranberry sauce. It’s nonnegotiable. The rest of you can eat the crap from a can for all I care.

Chelsea: shhhh…. just let her… it’s a thing for her.

Tiffany: Also, us southern ladies have lots of opinions on pie.

Ilya: I wasn’t planning on having you bring anything….

Chelsea: Why??????

Tiffany: For the love of gay god please don’t tell me you were planning on catering this???!!!! Thanksgiving is for homecooked food.

Hayden: Look it seems like a lot of effort to cook that much food for nearly twenty people for a holiday that-

Tiffany: Nope. Not in the spirit of the holiday Pike.

Chelsea: Yeah, don’t be appropriating our culture and telling us what to do Hayd.

Kelsey: surely not everyone at your work is canadian dont you do a friendsgiving thing with your teammates

Ilya: We do, but some NOT captain decided that it should be a multicultural thing this year.

Shane: I thought it was a nice idea. Like passport dinner but with the team. Besides, my Captain/husband approved my idea.

Ilya: It is not the same as American thanksgiving.

Hayden: Just let your husband have this.

Ilya: No marriage advice from Pike. Our relationship is older than yours.

Shane: Debatable.

Ilya: I dream of green bean thingy, and you deny me Shane

Chelsea: Do you mean green bean casserole?

Jackie: Can we circle back to the pies? What else is there besides pumpkin?

Brittany: I am taking deep breaths trying not to be offended. Pecan, sweet potato, apple.

Chelsea: Peach of some sort was also a given at thanksgiving when I grew up but that’s a Georgia specific thing.

Tiffany: I am very fond of cranberry pie.

Kelsey: I really like chess pie.

Hayden: Wait sweet potato pie?

Kelsey: there WILL BE SWEET POTATO PIE & CHESS PIE

Ilya: Update: Kelsey and I will approve the menus. We have best taste of American food even though neither of us America.

Shane: Can I-

Ilya: Yes Shane, you can make a shared spreadsheet for who is bringing what.

Tiffany: We don’t need to do Brussel sprouts though right?

Shane: Why not?

Kelsey: booooo you would be part of the point one percent of the population that likes brussel sprouts

December:

Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:

Ilya: Does anyone have normal? (according to Shane) Heinz ketchup?

Hayden: I knew Shane was getting sick today at practice.

Ilya: Congrats you are right. Sugar free ketchup not the same.

Jackie: It’s not.

Hayden: He must really be sick if he is asking for Kraft Dinner with ketchup during the regular season….

Tiffany: And at nearly 11pm at night. Sorry dear we only have the organic ketchup.

Kelsey: imonmyway…

Brittany: That means she is bringing you some over right now.

Ilya: My queen, thank you.

~~

Chelsea: Is BBL around? I know that it is Christmas break for you too and he might have headed back to Europe to visit his family.

Hayden: Why, for the love of all that is holy, has that caught on?

Ilya: Yes he is still in town, our break this year is very short. Why?

Hayden: The rookies have started using it.

Chelsea: The kids were learning about December traditions around the world, and now Robbie really wants to go to an authentic Christmas market.

Tiffany: Yeah, and since we aren’t fly out to Germany on the drop of a hat rich like you boys, we figured that BBL might have a better opinion than Instagram.

Ilya: I would never just fly to Germany on a hat drop

Shane: Sweetheart, that is very in character. You are impulsive and wealthy.

Hayden: I would bring it up with HR, but the CAPTAIN started it.

Ilya: I would like the worst player on the Centaurs to shut up. I will send a message to BBL and let you know.

Chelsea: Thanks! We tired and overwhelmed mothers appreciate it.

Hayden: Again, this is my captain speaking to me like this….

Shane: You chose to move here, knowing that he was the captain.

Hayden: Conflict of interest. He is your husband. You are legally bound to one another.

Shane: You are my best friend.

Kelsey: its 8am please keep the hockey drama off this chat

Tiffany: You know we don’t care (lovingly) about hockey.

Ilya: We can watch the kids tomorrow if you need a break or need to run errands or something.

Shane: Yes, we have a brand meeting that will end by 10 am but are free afterwards. Seriously, let the guncles take over for a bit.

Brittany: Ummmmm…. Could you take ours? Kel’s parents are arriving late tomorrow night, and it would help if we could clean without the kids for a few hours.

Kelsey: my mom does not need you to clean like the queen is coming to visit

Brittany: No your mom will just tell me of the time that she saw the queen on some train during one of her Canadian tours back in the day.

Ilya: Wait what?

Kelsey: its a thing all Canadians of a certain age have they all have seen the queen from a distance on some tour back in the sixties or something

Jackie: My grandmother had a story that somehow involved the Queen’s stockings….

Hayden: It’s kind of like how if you get a bunch of octogenarians together, they will go on for hours letting you know which celebrities are actually Canadian.

Chelsea: We do that too, but for letting you know who is queer.

Shane: Hey Brit and Kelsey, no problem we can come by around 10:30 and pick up the kids, what time do you want them back?

Brittany: Would 4pm be too much?

Ilya: We can do later.

Kelsey: i dont need you to feed them both lunch and dinner

Shane: Seriously we don’t mind. How about a 7pm drop off.

Brittany: You are both *literal* angels.

Shane: Our gift to you.

Ilya: Our actual Christmas gift to you is that you don’t even need to attend a Centaurs game ever again. Even pride night.

Kelsey: hallelujah

January:

Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:

Hayden: Can someone pick up Amber from chess club this week?

Brittany: We can do it since we have Robbie this week.

Kelsey: whose house should we drop her off at

Hayden: Mine. But it will have to be after five. Arthur gets home from soccer then, but then I have to take the twins to their dance class by 6:15.

Brittany: Amber is welcome to stay for dinner, and we can drop her off later that evening if it is the most convenient for you.

Hayden: Seriously?

Kelsey: yeah we know that jacks is in toronto for work right now

Brittany: I could pick Arthur up from soccer too.

Hayden: You are the best. I’ll let his coach know to expect you. Thank you so much Brit and Kel, I owe you both.

~~

Tiffany: Hey, did Shane and Ilya get injured? I saw that they both dropped out of the all-stars game?

Kelsey: dont they have a dynasty to protect

Hayden: Something more important came up.

Jackie: They are not injured though. Thanks for your concern and care.

Shane: We also wanted to let some of our teammates shine as well.

Ilya: No. We talked about this Shane. BBL needs to earn his inheritance.

~~

Jackie: Hey do you know of any support groups/social groups for queer youth?

Chelsea: Yes

Brittany: Oh course

Kelsey: duh

Brittany: What are you looking for?

Tiffany: Is this local to Ottawa? Or is it in another region. Are you wanting in person or virtual.

Brittany: Teens, pre-teen, young adult, younger?

Kelsey: special needs or neurodivergent?

Brittany: Are there any ethnic, religious or cultural preferences?

Chelsea: Can you give us any specifics of what you need?

Jackie: It’s not for any of my kids. Let me double check what I can share.

Chelsea: I know that we are asking a lot of questions that might seem overwhelming, but it comes from a good place.

Jackie:

I know that.

It does help.

I appreciate all of you.

Tiffany: And we appreciate you asking for help and using all avenues you can to support queer youth.

Jackie: Elementary aged, MTF trans youth. Also, she is in the process of being adopted into a supportive family from Ottawa area foster system.

Tiffany: I’m going to send you an email in about ten minutes with some resources Jacks. Thanks for reaching out.

Jackie: Thank you for all your help.

February

Elsie has two dads.

Chelsea had looked across the table at her wife and made long meaningful eye contact when her son had revealed that fact last night over dinner. Elsie was the new student who had joined Robbie’s class on Monday. The second week of February seemed an uncommon time for a new student to join the grade two class, but a letter from their teacher had informed them Elsie, pronouns she/they would be joining the class that week.

It had immediately set off Chelsea’s queer Spidey senses.

So, the following day she was glad that she had been scheduled to help with an art project for Valentine’s Day because after the mix up last year, needed to see it with her own eyes first before she made any assumptions about her son’s classmates parents.

Elsie was of Asian heritage, with hair in the awkward stages of growing out from a very short cut. She wore a bowed headband that was frequently slipping off her head and matched her hot pink Doc Martens. Chelsea had a weakness for those mini Doc Martens. She couldn’t manage to get Robbie to be interested in them, but she was willing to spend a ridiculous amount of money for Emma to stomp around in them for a few months at a time before she outgrew a pair. Elsie’s dress was a frilly with a red tulle skirt and little white hearts covered in glitter, and her opaque white leggings were already stained and ripped in five places by the end of the day.

Elsie had no last name visible on any of her class nameplates. It wasn’t too uncommon for the kids to just be referred to by their first names in grade two, and the teacher had mentioned quietly that Elsie was in the process of being adopted and her surname would legally changed in a few weeks anyways.

Chelsea had made a point to compliment her on her very pretty headband, and the little girl had beamed with pride in being called the correct gender that made her stomach flip a little with excitement. Chelsea felt an urge rise within her to protect this tiny little kid from the world around her with every maternal fiber in her body. She was even more proud to see that Robbie and Amber had taken quickly to being her friends, allowing Elsie to trot behind them like a duckling as they showed her around the classroom she was still adjusting too.

The art project was a blur, and she was more focused on helping the students than asking Elise any personal questions. When the school bell rang, she followed Robbie out of his classroom and into the typical Ottawa winter. The snow was deep and compacted, with paths cleared frequently with shovels and salt. Chelsea was going to walk Robbie home, and Elsie followed them on the cleared path towards the awaiting group of parents waiting to walk home with their kids.

Chelsea’s eyes followed the top of Elsies pink and white bear toque and matching puffer coat as she scanned the crowd, looking for any faces she didn’t recognize. She was trying to determine who Elsies soon to be parents were, while pushing down the worry that was churning in her stomach. But as she watched who Elsie was running towards at dismissal, she realized she didn’t need to worry at all.

Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander were unmistakable, even under toques and long coats. Ilya of course, in all of his jovial nature had brought that old-fashioned wooden sled with him. Elsie, Robbie and the two youngest Pikes were now trying to figure out how to all fit on it as Shane was burdened with their backpacks.

Chelsea walked over to them, watching as Arthur was pouting that there was no room on the sled for him now that the three younger kids had crammed themselves on it. “Okay, okay we can… um… rotate.” Ilya was saying in a half-exasperated voice as he finally found the word in English he had been mentally searching for.

Chelsea cleared her throat to announce her presence to the men. She looked around not seeing Hayden or Jackie, so they must have been here to pick up the Pike kids as well. “Are you kidnapping my son?”

Ilya looked at her and shrugged. “I was going to drop him off at home eventually.”

She waved her hand carelessly back at him, “You could keep him.”

“Maybe, but our place would be awfully crowded.” Shane teased her as he looked down and kicked the snow with his boots.

She had come to realize that while Shane was often sure he was keeping secrets from others, his intentions couldn’t be any clearer if you knew what to look for. His face was expressive in a way that gave away his true feelings, and he was blushing slightly and not just from the cold. She had a retort in mind, something about the sheer amount of empty rooms at his place, but she held her tongue instead.

She didn’t try to catch his eye, and she didn’t say it loudly in case someone overheard, she just asked the question in a soft voice which she knew Shane could hear; “You’re Elsie dads, aren’t you?”

A smile, genuine and honest, crept across Shane’s face as he was still getting used to the title. “Yes. Yes, we are.”

She beamed back at him. “Was this the plan?”

His face lifted, and he first scanned to check on Ilya and the kids. They were still figuring out a system for sharing the sled. Arthur was insisting on rotating based on age, and of course his sister was arguing that it should be alphabetical. Shane then turned his gaze towards her, she knew he wasn’t making eye contact with her, just pretending to look in her general direction. There was probably a whole roll out plan that had been formulated, press statements and social media posts that could have been controlled, and yet once again nothing in Shane’s life was going according to plan.

He cleared his throat, “The plan was to adopt a child who was close in age to Hayden’s kids from the foster system. One who would benefit from a family structure like ours.” He paused and she understood, a kid who would benefit from being wrapped up in the unconditional love of a chosen family “We thought it would take years. We started the legal process over a year ago, we thought that we still had years of waiting ahead of us but…”

She smiled in his direction, “Kids have their own sense of timing.” Even her own kids whose creation had literally been down to a meticulous science had their own concept of entering into the world. Robbie insisted on being nearly two weeks late, and Emma had been four weeks early.

 His shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath as his gaze turned back to Elsie who was sitting at the lead of the sled at the moment. His whole face was shining with love and devotion, “We met Elsie, heard her story and… we knew.” He breathed into the cold winter afternoon.

“Is it all finalized?”

Enough that she had clearly moved in with them, had started school, that they had taken some time off work to adjust to being parents “We are waiting for some final paperwork to be processed, but basically yeah... it’s… she’s our daughter.”

“I’ll save my hugs for your husband. But I am proud of you, Shane, and I am happy for you. Please, feel free to reach out anytime. You know we mean it.”

Ilya gave a dramatic sigh and began to pull the sled full of children out of the parking lot and back towards the residential streets. Amber was currently the odd one out and bemoaning about how this was making her Papa fall behind in the dad rankings. Chelsea watched with a smile on her face as she and Shane fell in step behind the giggling gaggle of their kids and family.

Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:

Shane: So, big question, is our daughter invited to Robbie’s birthday party next week?

Hayden: Finally, can we talk about this now.

Ilya: I can’t believe we let Hayden in on a secret again.

Jackie: I can’t believe he actually was able to keep it a secret this time.

Hayden: Again, why am I always getting chirped from my own wife?

Shane: To be fair he only had to keep silent for like weeks rather than years this time.

Brittany: I missed something didn’t I?

Kelsey: what secret dudes

Chelsea: wait….oh…

Tiffany: OH…..OHHHHH

Hayden: Chelsea how did you know, you’re being sus?

Ilya: Did your kids teach you that?

Tiffany: Sorry, Chelsea may have told me.

Shane: That’s okay, it’s going to be public at the end of the month.

Brittany: Wait, what?

Shane: Okay so, Ilya and I have been going through the process of adopting a child from the foster system. 

Ilya: IT’S A GIRL!

Brittany: ankjrb;oiarhgo;I rg’asr jgoisherg;oir

Kelsey: Brit is rolling around legs up in the air i have been informed she is squeeing sp?

Tiffany: Congratulations!!!!!

Chelsea: So happy for you both

Shane: Everything moved a lot faster than we had planned for, we met her at the end of January and she was cleared to move in with us last week.

Chelsea: To answer your question, yes Shane and Ilya, your daughter is welcome to Robbie’s birthday party next Saturday.

Kelsey: **pink confetti gif**

Jackie: I am so happy and so proud of you both…

Hayden: Welcome to the girl dad club.

Kelsey: Brit says you are being very dramatic and gay about this

Ilya: Too bad we didn’t go with my announcement plan.

Tiffany: I’m sure it would have rivaled a Broadway production.

Brittany: Okay, I have recovered. OMG I am so happy for both of you!

Shane: I’m not sending any photos yet for safety/legal reasons. Chelsea just happened to meet Elsie yesterday at school.

Kelsey: Elsie that is such a cool name.

Brittany: Is everything finalized?

Ilya: We are just waiting on official confirmation from government, but essentially yes.

Chelsea: BTW Ilya, you now have just as many kids as Pike.

Hayden: What no he doesn’t?

Tiffany: Anya, Amber, Elsie and BBL

Kelsey: is luca still the baby

Ilya: Always

Hayden: Okay ha ha. But not true. Ilya and Shane only have Elsie and Anya.

Ilya: Ha. I win Pike. I win! I will one day have more kids than you. Also, Luna does not count for your kid total, since your poor doggy doesn’t have even one brain cell, but Anya is a genius.

Hayden: You are the worst.

Ilya: I am the captain

Hayden: Shane make your husband stop!

Shane: Just so you know, both of you are acting like children right now.

Brittany: All right, break it up.

Jackie: The group chat name is now accurate.

Hayden: What?

Ilya: Hayden. NOW the group chat name is accurate!

Hayden: She is both digitally and physically yelling at me FYI.

Shane: We are officially the cool grown-ups of the class of 2034.

Chapter End Notes

THE END!