Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble (Game Changers)

Additional Tags:

Spoilers for Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Post-Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov Relationship Timeline Reveal, Texting, Social Media

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-07-06 Words: 14,574 Chapters: 1/1

big things happen every time we meet

Summary

John's #1 Parlay of the Day @johnchukbetzone 
I'll leave it to others to argue whether the relationship should even be permitted by the league. But vital information was concealed from bettors by failing to disclose when it started. Hollander & Rozanov may have allowed billions of dollars to be wagered under false pretenses.

storrowed by ilya @storrowed_by_ilya
I really should have known that the people with the absolute most deranged and late-stage capitalism reactions to the Rozanov/Hollander relationship would be online sports gamblers. You got me there. That one's on me.

Halfway through Shane and Ilya’s first season playing together in Ottawa, an online sports betting company figures out how to make itself the main character when it comes to social media’s new favorite topic.

Notes

Couple things: 1) Online sportsbooks are a uniquely predatory and evil enterprise, but this is gay romance fan fiction, so we will primarily be concerning ourselves with how the whole thing is also very stupid. 2) Open market online sports betting wasn’t legalized in America until 2018 and Canada in 2021, and DraftKings was definitely still growing its reach in 2022. But let’s assume that they wanted to make a big publicity grab, and that the gamblers who appear in this story were active offshore bettors in the 2010s.

Set after The Long Game, squarely in book canon, et cetera. Title is Outkast.

ottawacentaurs on Instagram

[Image description: Troy Barrett, Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander and Wyatt Hayes, smiling with their arms slung around each other's shoulders, posing for a group photo in front of a small charter plane.]

ottawacentaurs Headed for Phoenix! The Centaurs are proud to send FOUR of your favorite players to the 2022 All-Star Game.

kevvvvvvvvy
Okay but truly how TF did Ottawa end up with four players at All-Stars?!?

nonbinarybeaverchuck
league thought they were being funny by selecting hayes for the centaurs' spot on the roster and then hollander, rozanov and barrett obliterated the fan vote in a way that's probably going to lead to a rule change next year because the gay agenda is real 😂😂 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

danie11emu11en
I know I'm showing my age here, but the girls really had that fan vote operating like it was boyband era TRL.

rideauranger
Centaurs 34-19-2 and leading the Atlantic Division in points heading into the All-Star break, I know that's fucking right

storrowed_by_ilya
IJBOL at Ilya's death grip on Shane. Baby, no one is trying to take him from you!

hollanovcore
institutional homophobia literally tried to take shane from him, let my man cook

ashclare
love that noted comic book fanboy wyatt hayes gets to go to the all-star game with the queer x-squad. centaurs really said: hockey is for everyone. our team is committed to diversity, equity and inclusion, and so we are sending one (1) straight.




After they board the plane, Ilya slides into a window seat and holds out grabbing hands. "Shane, Shane! Come sit with me."

Standing in the aisle, Shane makes a face like he's trying to look skeptical. "I don't know, are you sure you don't want some time alone to work on your game strategy?"

"Last chance to cuddle with your husband. When the flight lands, we are enemies again, yes?"

Not exactly known for its subtlety, the league decided to circle back to the North America versus Europe format for All-Stars this year. Players were sorted into teams by their country of origin, a rule clarification that may as well have just spelled out that Ilya specifically isn't allowed to be Canadian-by-marriage. Crowell probably thinks it's a punishment, but the joke's on him. Ilya and Shane are both looking forward to facing off against each other again, and Ilya is perfectly happy to keep making All-Stars a sex thing that would put Crowell in a hospital bed if he knew the details.

"I don't think anyone is going to buy us as enemies anymore," Shane says, taking the seat next to him and rubbing his hand on Ilya's knee.

Ilya tilts his head back and forth. "Hmm, true."

"Doesn't mean I'm not going to beat your ass."

Ilya snorts, watching as everyone else files onto the plane. Since there are four of them going from the team, plus Lisa and Harris, Ottawa management offered to pay for a charter to Phoenix, which is … probably for the best. It's been almost a year, but being spotted out in public together with Shane is still a lot. Although Ilya does find it hilarious how annoyed Shane gets when half the people who ask them for selfies don't even seem to be hockey fans.

Across the aisle, Wyatt and Lisa take their seats. "Hey Lisa," Shane says. "Glad you were able to make it."

"I know, it's my first time!" she says. "My schedule at the hospital is pretty crazy, but it happened to work out this year."

She leans forward and pulls what looks like a stack of medical journals out of her bag. Ilya thinks it would be nice if one of them asked her about her work for a change. But, his understanding of what doctors do all day begins and ends with treating common sports injuries. Poor Lisa is probably going to get stuck chatting about hockey again.

After the flight takes off, Lisa looks over at them and says, "So, All-Stars is kind of your anniversary, right?"

"Uh, no? Our anniversary is July 10th." Shane says this in that kind of leading way, where Ilya can tell he's bitten off the part where he points out that she was literally at their wedding.

"Oh no, I mean -- didn't you guys first get together at an All-Star Weekend? I thought I read that somewhere."

Harris and Troy are sitting in the row in front of Wyatt and Lisa, and this makes Harris pull up onto his knees and twist around in his seat. "Ooh, story time!" he says.

Ilya leans forward in his own seat to answer Lisa, giving his audience a lazy grin. "Yes, many places write this," he says. "And many people think this! Mostly people on the internet, but even Shane's parents. Is funny to me, because going into 2017 All-Star weekend was the time when we were, hmm, what is the right word … least together?"

Shane turns to give him an unimpressed look. "You think that was the time when we were least together?"

Ilya can tell that he's remembering the months after the Olympics. Which, okay, that was not a great time. But he thought that Shane was going to show up in Tampa and say that he and Rose were getting married. It's hard for him to imagine a time when how they've ended up would have felt more impossible than the start of that weekend.

Ilya raises his eyebrows in a way that communicates all of this, and Shane's ire softens a little bit. "Okay, yes," Ilya says. "There were times when we each got scared and ran away. But very funny to me that people think this was when we first got together."

"So, what did happen that weekend, then?" asks Harris. He looks like he's just started bingeing a new season of his favorite TV show.

"We talked about stuff that weekend in a way that we hadn't ever really talked before," Shane admits. "And that helped us get to where we are now. But yeah … that was not the first time we got together."

Ilya lights up again. "That was not even the first time we hooked up at All-Stars. Or the last time. You know, last year --"

Lisa laughs and starts waving him off in protest. "Okay, okay, I get the idea!" she says. She holds up one of the journals that's sitting on her tray table. "I'm gonna go back to this article about ER readiness for pediatric hypothermia during mass casualty events, it sounds like it might have a little bit less drama."

Harris looks like he'd rather keep asking questions, but he gets tugged back down into his seat by Troy. Before resettling into his own seat, Ilya leans in to whisper in Shane's ear. "It was a very special weekend," he says. "It's not every day that a cute boy comes out to you after he's been sucking your dick for years."

Shane pulls back and gives him one of his lofty little smiles. "Oh, sorry," he says, "I was thinking about how this is going to be the anniversary of the time you lost the shot accuracy competition so badly that the team had to put you on waivers."

Ilya kisses his forehead and says, "Such a little shithead."

He sits back and thinks about all the times they've met up at All-Stars over the years, and how exciting it is that this time they're going to be showing up together as husbands. Almost as exciting as it's going to be when he beats Shane in the shot accuracy competition.




Ottawa Centaurs Assemble! @ericsoutheast
I don't understand why everyone is so obsessed with finding out when Hollander & Rozanov got together. They've already had so much about their private lives shared without their consent, shouldn't we just leave them alone and talk about how we can fix our penalty kill?

mx jesse @jessejax
i get what you're saying, but it's also like oh so you're handing me the greatest romance novel of all time but you want me to start reading at chapter 19? no bitch, i want to read it from the beginning!!!!

Centaurs on Top @bleedblackandred
I don't understand it either. They're probably going to win Ottawa a fucking cup this year. You could tell me they got together in the most bad porno locker room shower scene of all time and I'd say, "Cool, do they need towels?"

gay marriage broke the curse @rainbow_riva
hey, so implying that they must have done something sexual in a locker room shower just because they're queer men is a really harmful homophobic stereotype, please delete!

Still Shayden @shaydensource
I just think it's interesting that #they have never confirmed when their relationship started. Almost like they don't want people to find out it was a rebound relationship … that started sometime in 2012 … right around the time someone else got married ….

Free Britney Crisis Suite @amandatwts
Okay so first of all, it's 2022, I thought we sent all the Shaydens to the glue factory. Second of all, I truly don't understand what you're trying to prove here?

Still Shayden @shaydensource
At this point I am willing to concede that Hayden/Jackie and Shane/Ilya are real relationships. But I need them to admit that Shane and Hayden were together between 2010 and 2012, because I know what I saw.

Ottawa Centaurs Assemble! @ericsoutheast
Does literally anyone want to talk about that post on HFBoards about how teams should just say fuck it and try putting their fastest skaters on the penalty kill.




Halfway through the flight to Phoenix, Ilya is dead asleep and Shane is bored, which is the main reason why he lets Harris hassle him into making an Instagram video.

"Just a quick one," Harris promises as they relocate to the empty row behind them. "Say something you're excited about for All-Stars."

Shane shakes his head. "Social media videos aren't even your job anymore, are they?" He's pretty sure that's true, but Ottawa makes a lot of videos. Ilya says they originally started doing more social media content than any other team in the league because the Centaurs needed at least one thing to be good at, and now it's become a habit.

"Yeah," Harris says, "but I'm here, and Maddie's not. I'm just being a good boss!"

"Alright, okay, let's do it."

They sit down on opposite sides of the aisle and Harris holds up his phone to start recording. "So, Shane!" he says brightly. "You've been selected for the All-Star Game every year it's been played since you started in the league. Is it still just as exciting as the first time?"

Shane thinks about pointing out that he's only an All-Star this year because of the fan vote, which is kind of the participation trophy of All-Star selection and not really the same thing. Instead, he says, "Sure. Definitely."

Harris gives Shane a look like he's hoping for him to elaborate, but Shane doesn't really … have any more to say than that?

Aside from it being another chance to play against and beat Ilya, Shane thinks he's kind of ambivalent about All-Stars. Like, in retrospect, seeing and playing against and beating Ilya might be the only things he's ever liked about All-Stars. Now that they get to play together every day and sleep in bed together every night and beat each other in made-up skills competitions at the end of every practice, the All-Star Game honestly seems kind of pointless.

"You're a competitive guy," Harris says, trying again. "Is it fun to get a chance to play against the best of the best?"

"Well, it's not exactly -- the whole thing is always a little skewed because there has to be one player picked from each team," Shane says. It's hard for him to pretend he'll be going up against the best of the best when the roster has to include anyone who currently plays for Anaheim or Buffalo.

"Okay?" Harris sounds confused, so Shane tries to explain again.

"Oh, I just mean, you know, 44 guys get picked for All-Stars," he says. "And twelve of them are voted in by the fans. So, if you really wanted the best of the best, it would be a smaller group, and there would be a more objective selection criteria, and --"

Harris snickers and stops the recording. "Alright, so, every day it's a revelation to me that you're kind of a bitch," he says, "but I can't use any of this."

"Uh, sorry?"

"No, it's fine! I'll have Maddie post something else."

"What do you mean?" Shane asks. At the same time, he gets up to go back to his seat, because he absolutely does not want to give the impression that he's willing to film another video.

Harris slips his phone into his pocket and steps into the aisle behind Shane. "Don't even worry about it!"


After sliding back into his own seat, Shane looks over fondly at Ilya, who's sleeping with his mouth hanging open. He thinks about the conversation he just had with Harris, and mentally adds the All-Star Game to the list of things it turns out that he doesn't actually care about that much anymore.

For so many years, he cared about keeping their secret. He cared about it in a way that was diligent and dedicated and -- he can grudgingly admit now -- kind of obsessive. Keeping the secret felt good, and also kind of hot. But, after the secret was gone, it was replaced by a feeling that's hard to describe. It's sort of like when he deletes a bunch of unused apps and old message attachments from his phone and the amount of free storage space jumps by like fifty percent. There's just all this extra room in his brain now.

After the dust settled last summer, Shane started to wonder what other things he might not care about as much as he thought he did. And, it turns out that maybe he doesn't care about the Voyageurs and building a lasting legacy there, because he's going to win four cups in Ottawa and fuck anyone who thinks otherwise. He doesn't care about what the rest of the league or the media or the fans think about him, because he's never really cared, but he used to be more polite about it. He doesn't care about whether it's okay to eat a pizza sometimes. He doesn't care about maintaining even a cordial relationship with anyone who doesn't think Ilya is the best thing that ever happened to him. And, apparently, he doesn't really care about the All-Star Game.

At this point, Shane cares about Ilya and his family and playing great hockey and winning games, and he has all four of those things. He's just … really happy. Sometimes he thinks about googling "nervous breakdown except good" to explain it.

"Ilya's knocked out, huh."

Shane pulls himself away from his thoughts to glance over at Wyatt. "Oh. Yeah."

"I've never seen him sleep like that on flights before this season," Wyatt muses. "But, I guess he's a lot more relaxed now."

Shane reaches over to close the hinge of Ilya's jaw, because one time an ENT doctor said to him that you get less oxygen when you sleep with your mouth open. After that appointment, he told Ilya that he should probably start using mouth tape, and Ilya threw a pair of balled-up dirty underwear at his head. Now he gets to close Ilya's mouth when he falls asleep on long flights, and it makes his stomach do a little flip every time. It's kind of embarrassingly lovesick behavior, but he's used to that feeling by now.




ottawacentaurs on Instagram

[Image description: Photo of Ilya Rozanov kissing Shane Hollander on the cheek during the 2017 NHL All-Star Game]

ottawacentaurs Throwback to All-Stars 2017! Everyone remembers how exciting it was to see these two on the same team for the first time. Now that Ottawa is lucky enough to have this team-up 82 games a year, we'll let them face off against each other again just this once.

centaursplanetruther
Great, because what I needed was a reminder about how Rozanov should be spending way more time playing right wing. Brandon Wiebe, you can't keep getting away with this.

everettsquidsfan
Love that we periodically got an extremely competitive All-Star game this year because Hollander and Rozanov decided to treat it like full-contact marriage counseling.

vive_la_jenn
This is confirmation that All-Star Game 2017 is when they got together, right? It HAS to be, right?!?

infinitezoe
It literally can't be. The Roz sex stories Reddit thread has verified hookups through the spring of 2017, several months after All-Stars.

luke_mahoney_iii
girl i know you are not citing reddit like a primary source document 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

ashclare
please the mods run that thread like the navy, those sex stories are more fact-checked than the new york times

hollandercorp
They probably got together for the first time at All-Stars and kept it casual for a couple months, that would line up with when Ilya supposedly stopped hooking up with other people. Like it's normal to start hooking up and still see other people for a couple months before you get serious.




A couple weeks after the All-Star Game, Farah asks to set up a call to give Shane and Ilya a "heads up on a possible legal issue." They arrange themselves at the kitchen table about a half an hour before they need to leave for morning practice. Shane is feeling more irritated than concerned, because he could be watching Ilya do kettlebell squats right now instead of whatever this is going to be.

Farah logs on to the call, along with another guy who Shane doesn't recognize. "Hi there, thanks for meeting this morning," she says. "This is Jamal Wolfe, I asked him to join us. He's a partner at the same firm as Ellie Gardner." Ellie Gardner is a lawyer, one of the small army of people that somehow became necessary after they went from being regular hockey famous to People Magazine famous. Farah is the point person for all of them, because she's the best.

They exchange hellos with Jamal before Farah dives in. "I wanted to let you know," she says, "that I'm hearing that one of the newer online sports betting companies based in the US may be filing a lawsuit. The lawsuit would be against the NHL, but the main issue involves the two of you. I'm not clear on all the details, but the rumor is that the league recently got a demand letter from DraftKings."

"Sports betting?" Ilya asks. "We did this one already last summer, yes?"

Shane grimaces, because reporters really investigated the possibility that they ever bet on each other's games down to the marrow, and he kept threatening to leak his own bank records to save everyone some time. The only thing that came out in the end was all of Ilya's brother's gambling debts, but thankfully, he hadn't bet on any NHL games.

"No surprise there," Ilya said at the time. "Would have been too close to giving a shit about my career." So that was a super fun couple of days that they rode out at the cottage with their phones in a drawer, Shane doing yoga out on the deck so Ilya could video call with Galina on his tablet in the living room.

"Right, but this is a little bit of a different angle," Farah says. "These new online betting companies are still trying to grow their reach, and right now any publicity is good publicity. My understanding is that they're arguing the league had an obligation to disclose your relationship because it could have impacted the outcome of your games."

"Can they even do that?" Shane asks.

"I'm definitely not the expert here," she says. "That's why I asked Jamal to join us. Jamal, do you want to jump in?"

Jamal nods. "Sure. To answer your question, can they do that? Yes. Can they do it successfully? That's very unlikely. Legally, it's a little bit of a gray area. Even in the US, PAPSA was only repealed in 2018, so there's just not a lot of case law on the books. But the courts generally find that there's a lack of direct legal duty to inform between professional leagues and sports betting companies. There are some leagues do require teams to provide information that's unofficially understood to be to the benefit of the industry, like mandatory injury reports, but the NHL has never really--"

Watching their own faces side-by-side on the screen, Shane can see that Ilya is making a placid expression that he remembers from the very early years, the one that meant the English was starting to wash over him in waves but he didn't want to admit it. Although Shane doubts that he understands what's being said right now any more than Ilya does. "Can you, like, play that back for us again?" he asks.

"Explain it to us like we are dumb hockey players who have had too many concussions," Ilya adds.

"No, sorry, that was way too much legal jargon!" Jamal apologizes. "Hazard of the profession, unfortunately. Basically, we're dealing with US law here, and there's no law that clearly states a league like the NHL is required to disclose any information to a company like DraftKings. But they can still try to bring a case arguing that there is a law that does apply, and then a judge decides whether to let the case go forward."

"But this is making it about our relationship, yes?" Ilya says. "League did not know about the relationship."

"Of course," Jamal says, nodding again. "But that's something that DraftKings could ask the NHL to prove on the record. That's the main part that I want to prepare you for. If the lawsuit goes forward, you might be asked to participate in the discovery process. It's not the same as testifying in court, but you would be interviewed by an attorney. There could be questions about when the league found out about your relationship--"

Ilya snorts. "Easy. League found out with everyone else when they saw Hayden Pike's FanMail."

"Right," Farah says. "But they might also ask how long you've been together, other things you've preferred not to share in public. So we just want you to be prepared for that."

Shane does a quick mental replay of everything that's just been said, because he wants to make sure he's not missing something. He kind of has to be missing something, because otherwise it seems like --

"This just sounds really stupid," Shane says. "I mean, uh -- sorry, you explained it well! I don't mean that. But they're saying, what, we should have told people we were together because it would have affected the money line?"

"This is very likely just a PR stunt," Jamal says. "I can't say for sure until we see the actual complaint, but the league will probably have a good argument for asking that the case be thrown out. A motion to dismiss for failure to state a claim would dead-end the entire thing before the discovery process, so that would obviously be ideal."

"I know the relationship with the commissioner's office has been strained," Farah adds. "But in this instance, we're all going to be on the same team."

"Gross," Ilya says, with Shane's wholehearted agreement. He's not interested in being on the same team as Roger Crowell under any circumstances short of, like, an alien invasion.

At that point they wrap up the conversation, and Farah promises to keep them updated by email.


"Bullshit like this would never happen in Russia," Ilya grouses when they're in the car on the way to practice.

Shane rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I don't think the Russian legal system is the shining example we should be pointing to right now." Then he pulls his phone out of the pocket of his hoodie and says, "I should probably text the group chat."

They're sitting at a stoplight, so Ilya can make a dramatic show of banging his head against the headrest. "Ugh," he says. "I hate the group chat."

Shane gives Ilya's thigh a reassuring pat. "You just hate it because you hate being in a group chat with Scott."

"Yes, exactly! People find out I am in a group chat with Scott Hunter, they will think I am looking for nursing home recommendations. That I need to know best brand of adult diapers. Recovery tips after hip replacement!"

The group chat is, admittedly, a pretty weird assortment of people. It's become fairly predictable who is going to get asked for comment whenever the media finds a new way to turn their relationship into a news cycle. The group chat lets them give everyone a heads up at the same time. In addition to Scott, it includes most of the other guys on the Centaurs plus Harris. Hayden, J.J. and Cliff Marlow are the go-to former teammates. Rose is there on a burner number, because Shane does not trust that many NHL players with Rose Landry's real phone number.

There's also Nikolay Popov, a veteran winger for LA who Shane has never met off the ice. He got American citizenship through his wife a few years ago and doesn't have any close living family back home, so he's one of the only Russian players who can safely respond when reporters ask him about Ilya and Shane. Ilya says that he and Popov have always kind of disliked each other, but it turns out that he dislikes the Russian state more, so he gets called for comment a lot.

And lastly, Carter Vaughan is in the chat for some reason. Apparently, he hates feeling left out and loves group chats.

Shane scrolls down to find the right text thread (Ilya helpfully named it "Stupid Gay Questions") and scowls when he opens it. The last exchange is from almost a month ago, when a reporter asked him about proposed changes to Canada's gay blood donation ban and he got roasted online when his facial expression made it clear that was the first time he had learned about the gay blood donation ban.

He shakes his head and starts typing out a new message.




Shane: Hi everyone. Just a heads up, hopefully this one won't go anywhere, but Ilya and I heard from our agent that one of the sports betting websites is talking about suing the league for not disclosing our relationship. Sorry, I know getting asked about sports betting at all is kind of a touchy subject.

Bood: Didn't we already do sports gambling last summer?

Shane: Yeah, that was about whether Ilya and I ever bet on games.

Vaughan: Also, the league didn't know about you guys, right?

Shane: No, definitely not. But the websites don't know that and they're saying the league had an obligation to disclose anything that could affect the outcome of games. Kind of like how other leagues do their injury reports, I guess?

Ilya: Which makes no sense, because Shane only lets me give him sex injuries during the off-season

Haas: i am sorry this is happening to you two!

Bood: Yeah, this one is really dumb. I think this is my least favorite Hollanov news cycle

Wyatt: The existence of a least favorite news cycle implies that you have a most favorite?

Bood: Oh, probably when that kid Eriksson came out and put a picture of him and Shane at All-Stars in his Instagram post and Roz crashed out for like two straight days

Ilya: Shane has a husband, he does not need a child bride!

Troy: Mine is definitely the one when Bood told that reporter he was only allowed to keep asking about sharing the showers with a married couple if he started showering with us after games

Wyatt: My favorite is the one when Shane turned down being the grand marshal of the Ottawa pride parade and someone asked him if it was because of internalized homophobia and Shane had to come out as someone who just doesn't like parades.

Bood: Which still makes no sense, because he's won three Stanley Cups?

Hayden: I was there, trust me, Shane does not like parades 😂😂😂

Ilya: Hahah, yes! I remember NHL Awards, first year you won the cup in 2015. Shane and I haven't hooked up in months but first he wants to complain about how much he hates the feeling of wet confetti

Vaughan: Wait, you guys were hooking up in 2015?

Wyatt: Don't bother, direct questions will get you nowhere. You just have to wait for the accidental lore drops.

Scott: Guys we've talked about keeping the off-topic back-and-forth out of this chat and just using it for updates.

Ilya: Sorry grandpa I know is past your bedtime




Halfway through a road trip at the end of February, Ilya and Shane are in a hotel room in Calgary, staggering like zombies out of their gameday suits when Shane asks, "So, what was with Kennedy tonight?"

Ilya groans, tossing his suit jacket on a chair. "Can't we skip the thing?" The game they just played against the Sparks was shit. Hazy had an uncharacteristic off-night, letting in four goals before Wiebe finally pulled him. Ilya wants to go to bed and trade exhausted blowjobs, he doesn't want to do the thing.


Before the season started, Shane brought up a couple times that they should make a plan for the potential shitshow of playing as a married couple in a league that was still full of idiot homophobic assholes, but they kept getting distracted.

Shane would say something like, "Maybe we should set up a meeting with the players' association."

And Ilya would say, "We should get a new lamp for the living room, I always think the one there now looks like a butt plug."

And then Shane would say, "You mean a new lamp for our living room?" and then, obviously, they'd forget what they were talking about and start feeling each other up.

They also tried a few times to talk about not getting baited into stupid penalties on the ice, but they got sidetracked by bickering about who had spent more time jacking off to whose mic'd up in the penalty box compilations on YouTube (Ilya liked the ones where Shane looked like he was plotting a murder and the broadcast had to censor every third word that came out of his mouth, Shane liked the ones where Ilya was grinning and his face was still bloody).

They did eventually manage to have one full conversation on that topic, but only because Wiebe was there.

"I want to be clear, I'm not asking you to stop being hockey players," Wiebe said. The three of them were sitting in his office, after practice on a day toward the end of training camp. "You're both professionals, and I trust you to figure this out. But you're going to have a lot of shit coming your way."

"Yeah, my mom thinks the media will be watching to see if our penalty minutes go up," Shane said. He sounded pleased with himself for having a ready answer, because he was an adorable little teacher's pet. "So we're both going to try very hard," he turned to give Ilya a pointed look, "to keep our PIM at or below what it was last season."

"Of course Shane always has, you know, little baby PIM," Ilya said with a wide smile. "So it will be hard to go below that. But if anyone can do it --"

"Shut up, asshole. I have a perfectly league-average PIM."

"Gentlemen!" Wiebe said, cutting them off. "I'm glad to hear you're already thinking about this, and Hollander, I agree with your mother. I wish I could say that the commissioner's office will be watching to make sure things don't get out of hand, but --"

Ilya shook his head. "Fuck the commissioner's office," he said darkly.

Wiebe held his hands up in mock surrender. "Well, you said it, not me."


So they've been keeping an eye on their PIM, and they traded a couple emails with the guy who runs the players' association before remembering that the NHLPA is mostly just a support group for mediocre creeps. And sometimes Shane gets it in his mind that they should do the thing where they debrief about whatever sad sack homophobic chirps they heard that night, like they're two kids playing at the Tretiak Cup who have never been accused of taking it up the ass before.

Shane says it's a good way to make sure things don't get bottled up, because he's a beautiful and perfect hypocrite. And Ilya does normally play along, because it doubles as a way for him to add more names to his list of people who need to get their shit rocked.

"For me tonight, it was mostly just Roy," Shane says, dragging Ilya's attention back to the present. "He played for Montreal when we won the cup in 2016. So he had some shit to say about how he was glad he got a ring before I started sucking your dick."

"Did you tell him the bad news?"

Shane shakes his head. "No, but I should have told him he was lucky that he got a ring at all because he's a turnstile and he boxes out like a grandmother." He walks into the bathroom to start unpacking his dop kit. "Other than that, it was pretty quiet. Shepple called me a cocksucker a couple times. But he did that before everyone knew and he's really stupid, he might not even remember I'm actually gay."

"Hmm, yes. Quiet night."

"Oh please," Shane calls from the bathroom. "I saw Kennedy getting in your face at the end of the game. What did he say?"

Ilya finishes stripping down to his underwear and flops onto the bed, stewing in his annoyance a little bit because Kennedy is on his third team in five years and his face looks like what happens when a pig gets a nose job, so who cares what comes out of his mouth.

"He said you've always been a pretty boy," Ilya begrudgingly admits. "Which is very true, very correct, even if the way he says it means that he needs to say goodbye to the last of his teeth."

"And?"

"Said I probably roll you over and pretend you're a girl."

"Yuck."

"I hate that shit," Ilya grumbles, propping himself up on his elbows. "They think, what? I have slept with so many women, and then one day for some reason I look at you and think, wow, he's pretty, I bet I can ignore that he has a dick?"

Shane reappears in the bathroom doorway. "I don't really think it's supposed to make sense," he says.

"I love your dick!" He can tell that Shane wants to laugh, but Ilya is very serious.

"I know you do," Shane promises, and comes over to sit next to him on the bed.

Ilya lies down again, tugging Shane along with him and arranging Shane's head on his chest. "Maybe more people need to know. I will make an Instagram post. 'Hello everyone, I love Shane Hollander's dick, and I have been sucking it since I was 19.'"

"Do you think it would help?" Shane asks. He tucks his fingers into the waistband of Ilya's underwear, not trying to start anything, just getting comfortable. "Maybe I should have told Roy I was already sucking your dick in 2016."

Ilya thinks about how sometimes he wants the entire world to know when he got Shane on his knees for the first time, and sometimes he wants every person who's ever thought about Shane Hollander and sex at the same time to get the plague and drop dead. He tilts Shane's chin up so he can kiss him. "No," he says, and then, "Maybe. Probably not. They would just be assholes about something else."


A little later, they're sprawled out together on the bed staring at their phones when Shane looks up with a frown. "This email from Farah says I should talk to Hayden about the DraftKings thing."

"We already told him in the stupid group chat."

"Yeah, but because of the video, she thinks he might actually get subpoenaed. I don't know, this whole thing is so dumb. I guess I should call him, though."

Ugh, the fucking video.

For Ilya, getting outed was … not the worst thing that's ever happened to him. There's a little thrill each time he remembers that everyone knows now and there's no taking it back, but also a small surge of panic every time he crosses the border with the Russian passport he's going to be stuck with for at least another year. The part where the most infamous incident in Ilya's long and famous life is going to be forever linked with Hayden Pike, that part is not great. Every day, Ilya has to live with the grim reality that there's a section devoted to Hayden Pike on his own Wikipedia page.

"Can't you just forward him the email?" Ilya asks, because he wants to make fun of Dykstra in the team group chat until he gets bored and then get each other off before they fall asleep, he doesn't want to listen to half of a phone call with Pike.

Shane scoots up to sit at the head of the bed. "Yeah," he scoffs, "because Hayden reads his email."

Ilya sends another reply to the team chat about Dykstra's new haircut while Shane calls Hayden, who picks up immediately, because of course he does.

"Hey man, how are you doing?" Shane asks. "Looks like the game tonight was rough."

The Voyageurs are less than two years from being a cup-winning team and still have most of the pieces from that run, so they haven't fallen as far to the bottom of the standings as Ilya would prefer. Still, things are not great. Aside from his very talented husband, the free agent market was weak last summer, and Montreal ended up signing three mid-tier guys with their sudden influx of cap space. Three players to try and replace Shane! Ilya cackles every time he thinks about it.

"Anyway," Shane says after Hayden has complained for a little bit, because Shane is way too obsessed with giving away a competitive advantage to tell him his real opinion about whether Montreal is doing too much dump and chase. "I was calling because Farah said I should talk to you about the DraftKings thing."

"Right," Hayden says. "Yeah, that sucks, dude." Shane has the phone up to his ear, but Ilya can hear everything that Hayden says because he's fucking loud.

"Yeah, thanks. I still think it's nothing, but, uh -- Farah says that because of what happened with the video, you might get dragged into the whole thing."

"Oh shit. Well, what do you want me to say? Tell me what the play is. Or, I don't know, should we be doing this over the phone? Should I call you back on FaceTime? I saw on TV that you can't wiretap FaceTime."

Shane thumps his head back against the headboard. "Oh my god, I'm not asking you to lie. That's, like, I don't know, what's that thing where you lie in court and then you go to jail?"

"Perjury."

Ilya gives up any pretense that he's not listening in and says, "Pike, how the hell do you know 'perjury?'"

Hayden lets out a huff that comes through the phone as a burst of static. "Shut up, Rozanov," he says. "I watch a lot of lawyer shows."

"Look, no perjury, okay?" Shane says emphatically.

"Alright, as long as you know that I would totally do perjury for you."

Ilya widens his eyes, because Pike really does make it too easy sometimes. Shane pretends not to notice and keeps talking. "I appreciate that," he says. "And I really don't think it'll be necessary. But, if you do get dragged into this, you might have to get a lawyer. Don't worry about that, okay? I'll pay for it."

"Please stop. I know I'm not you, but I can afford my own lawyer."

Ilya takes Shane's free hand and starts pressing kisses to the inside of his wrist, because he's decided that it's past time for this phone call to wrap up. "Accept the offer," he calls out. "Your many children are not dumb like you, Pike. They will need college fund."




NHL Rumors @nhlrumors
Several sources report that DraftKings is preparing to file a lawsuit against the NHL later this week. DraftKings and the NHL have an established official partnership; it's unclear what may have happened that would lead to litigation.

holden can't hoop @DCholden89
On the one hand, online sports gambling websites are evil. On the other hand, without online sports gambling websites, who would buy the ads on all of my favorite podcasts?

Matt Meyers @bonvoyageur67
DraftKings/NHL lawsuit has to be about Rozanov and Hollander. Sports bettors are the only ones left who haven't bought into the fairytale romance bullshit. The part that confuses me is why DraftKings is suing the NHL instead of both jointly suing the two of them.

Roz's Bench Bride @jewelideas
suing them for what 🤔🤔🤔

Matt Meyers @bonvoyageur67
Breach of contract.

Hollander Hype Machine @hollanderlegacy
Look me in the eye and tell me where in the NHL collective bargaining agreement it says that you can't fuck your sworn rival

Cliff Marlow's Duolingo Streak @jakemelnickooo
I guess what I don't understand is that DraftKings wasn't even a sportsbook during the height of the rivalry?

Point Spread Prodigy @j03yPP
Yeah, but I don't think Antigua's own www.luckyjack365.ag (an offshore sportsbook I might have frequented in the 2010s who's to say) is filing a lawsuit in federal court

carter vaughan split my defense @_mattloveshockey
Just feels like DraftKings has been willfully ignoring an opportunity here. Gimme a prop bet about which player is going to come out before the end of the season. In-game bet about which player is about to get a little smooch from their teammate when.

carter vaughan split my defense @_mattloveshockey
Ignore the part about how in-game bets are like the leading cause of gambling addiction. I just wanna be able to bet on a little smooch.




About a week after the trade deadline, they're on the bus to the airport in Nashville when news officially breaks about the DraftKings lawsuit. The bus is rowdy, with everyone still riding the high of last night's win and the between-the-legs go-ahead goal that Luca scored late in the third period. Shane thinks Luca got lucky, and nine times out of ten he should have made the open pass to Young in that spot. But he got that out of his system by telling Ilya last night (Ilya gave him an exasperated look but also agreed Shane was right, obviously), so everyone's having a good time.

"Uh, so," Troy says, looking up from his phone. "Harris just texted that the DraftKings thing got filed."

The rest of the guys start to make sympathetic noises. Shane thinks about how he should probably check his email to see if there's an update from Farah, but he'd sort of rather throw his phone out the window. The beat reporters have been going light on questions about the lawsuit while it was just a rumor, but that's probably going to end now.

"Oh shit," says Dykstra from somewhere behind them. "Does this mean Crowell is gonna get arrested?"

Someone else, LaPointe or maybe Boyle, starts laughing and says, "No, idiot, it's the kind of court case that's about money, not the kind where someone gets arrested."

Over the sounds of a scuffle, Dykstra says, "Shut up, last week you asked Levesque how a thermos knows whether to keep something hot or cold."

From across the aisle, Luca turns to Shane and Ilya. "I think I still do not really understand what's happening," he says. "This company is mad at you, but they're suing the league?"

Wyatt is sitting next to Luca, and he just shakes his head. "I'm not sure a bunch of hockey players are gonna be able to explain the American legal system."

At that point, the conversation breaks up again into smaller discussions, about their game tomorrow night against St. Louis, if the guys who like to play cards on the plane should play Acey-Deucey or Guts on the upcoming flight and whether Young broke Holmberg's Switch by sitting on it or the three-year-old Switch was already broken.

Ilya nudges Shane's shoulder with his own and nods meaningfully at the seats across the aisle and one row ahead of them, where Byron has been sitting this whole time with his face glued to his phone, not saying anything.

Ilya has been crowing for months about how Byron and Levesque are both secret homophobes who are trying to keep their heads down and make the best of a bad situation, but Shane isn't sure that he sees it. Anyway, Byron is a decent backup goalie and Levesque is solid as hell on the penalty kill, so he's also not sure how much it even matters what they think about gay people.

Although, according to Ilya, the best part is that Levesque and Byron are both keeping their secret so well that neither of them has figured out about the other one. So that would be pretty funny if it's true.

Shane slumps further into his seat. "I hate this shit," he says to Ilya in a low voice. "I don't know how many fucking times we have to explain that being together never affected how we play."

"Not in the way they're thinking, no," Ilya says, looking a little bit shifty.

"What are you talking about?"

"So … maybe there is a huge fucking nerd on the internet who thinks they spotted a very small dip in my plus/minus that might have happened at the same time you were dating Rose Landry. Teeny tiny blip. But, possible that there are some graphs. Hard to say. Internet is a crazy place."

"Yikes, that's embarrassing," Shane says, because he assumes a person who thinks plus/minus is a useful stat probably also believes in, like, astrology.

Ilya clutches his hands over his heart like someone acting out a tragic death scene. "Wow!" he says. "You wound me, Hollander."

Shane smirks at him. "Oh, I meant it's embarrassing for an internet nerd to care about plus/minus," he says. "But yeah, good point, this is embarrassing for you, too. How did you even find that?"

"Marlow sent it to me last year," Ilya offers. "Said maybe it explained some things."

"Huh." Shane's strong impression is that Cliff Marlow wouldn't know how to read a children's book, let alone a line graph. "I guess I'm having a hard time imagining Marlow doing a deep dive on analytics."

"Oh no, Cliff is dumb as rocks," Ilya says, snickering. "I don't know, maybe he has sexy math teacher girlfriend now. But probably he just saw it on Twitter."

Shane shakes his head. It's the kind of speculation about their relationship that he hates and a time in their relationship that he hates to think about, but it's also just fucking stupid. Because, clearly, if Ilya's numbers suffered at all during that season, it was because the Bears had so many guys out on IR that they were basically running a daily shuttle from Providence. Shane's never been a huge stats guy, but even he knows that plus/minus is right up there in value with dream interpretation.




ESPN @espn
Leading online sportsbook DraftKings has filed a lawsuit in federal court against the NHL, arguing that the league has a duty to inform its users about personal relationships between players, specifically citing the romantic relationship between Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov.

Ottawa Centaurs Assemble! @ericsoutheast
Once again, I do not need to know when Hollander and Rozanov got together, I need to know when Wiebe is going to try out Hollander on the penalty kill.

John's #1 Parlay of the Day @johnchukbetzone
Many people are misunderstanding the goal of the DraftKings lawsuit, so I will explain. The goal is to find out if the league was concealing information about the relationship. It doesn't matter if they played better or worse against each other, it affected the outcome of games.

John's #1 Parlay of the Day @johnchukbetzone
A successful sports bettor considers the impact of factors like season scheduling, advanced stats, roster moves and injuries, with a sophistication that compares to the best front offices in the league. Bettors are understandably upset that this factor was concealed from them.

John's #1 Parlay of the Day @johnchukbetzone
I'll leave it to others to argue whether the relationship should even be permitted by the league. But vital information was concealed from bettors by failing to disclose when it started. Hollander & Rozanov may have allowed billions of dollars to be wagered under false pretenses.

Rozanov's Other Playoff Beard 🖤❤️ @rozanatic81
Ignoring the part where you said that basement-dwelling online gamblers are like basically GMs so I don't die laughing, but can you please just save us all some time and say the homophobic part out loud?

storrowed by ilya @storrowed_by_ilya
I really should have known that the people with the absolute most deranged and late-stage capitalism reactions to the Rozanov/Hollander relationship would be online sports gamblers. You got me there. That one's on me.

dirty water dan @dgordon02127
If you lost money on the Bears in the 2015 conference finals, you may be entitled to financial compensation …

Me Against the Spread @biggamegreg45
Why would you bring up the 2015 conference finals at a time like this 💀 I was in Vegas for a bachelor party sitting on a beautiful four-leg parlay with a Rozanov first goal score in Game 6, should've been easy money but apparently it was his boyfriend's turn to win the cup 💀💀💀

montreal v. everyone @obsessedbernie
Lost a good chunk of my tuition money taking the Voyageurs at -$120 during the second round in 2019, sign me up for the class action lawsuit

shane hollander's #2 fan @fangirlsarah
the v*yageurs weren't even playing the cens that series? so truly what is your point here???

montreal v. everyone @obsessedbernie
Yeah, but I never would have bet on the Voyageurs if I had known Hollander was Like That 🤮🤮🤮

Rozanov's Other Playoff Beard 🖤❤️ @rozanatic81
Okay, so this guy is just saying the homophobic part out loud.

hockey is for everyone @amina96
People always talk about how shippers are weird for taking real people and mashing them together like Ken dolls but somebody please tell me how what DraftKings is doing here is any less weird.




A couple weeks after the lawsuit is filed, Ottawa has an early afternoon game at home and Ilya and Shane go over to Yuna and David's house afterward for dinner. David makes enchiladas and Ilya tells stories about playing on the road his rookie year and discovering the difference between real Mexican food and Taco Bell. After they finish eating, Ilya and Yuna go into the kitchen to make tea while Shane and David disappear into the den so David can show him his latest ship-in-a-bottle kit.

"How are things going with the lawsuit?" Yuna asks over her shoulder while she's grabbing mugs from the cabinet.

Ilya looks up from where he's standing at the sink filling the electric kettle. "Is fine," he says. "The lawyer talks to Farah, Farah talks to us. She says that the lawyer says that this next part will take months, probably no update until after the season is over."

Yuna sets down two mugs on the counter. They both have an abstract floral pattern and look pretty new, with no chips or faded colors. Ilya noticed last fall that David and Yuna's sizable collection of Voyageurs mugs had disappeared over the summer. "But until then," she says, "people are going to keep asking questions."

She's not wrong. Ilya has always preferred to use social media as a one-way megaphone, but what he does see of the comment replies to his Instagram posts is a cesspool. Shane's no help, he just says, "Yeah, but most of those people don't even know anything about hockey," which is Shane's way of saying that for all he cares they can fuck off and die.

Ilya shrugs without answering, and Yuna pauses for a moment, looking like she's trying to choose her next words carefully. "I know Shane can be a little … hypervigilant about his privacy," she says.

He sighs. "Yuna, this time I am the one who does not want to share more."

"Oh!" she says. Her face lights up in surprise before quickly softening with understanding. "Okay. Well, I'm sure you have your reasons, honey. Just let me know if there's anything we can do."


On the drive home, Ilya hums along to The Weeknd and adds color commentary while Shane writes a text in the team group chat about Bood's dismal performance in their March Madness pool. Which is rich coming from Shane, because he barely follows college basketball and bet chalk for almost his entire bracket.

Ilya is in a good mood. They have a day off at home tomorrow, and with the win this afternoon the Centaurs' magic number is down to single digits. And so, that's when he decides to affect a casual air that's going to drive Shane crazy and says, "Your mother knows that I am the one who does not want to tell people when you and I first got together."

"How does she know that?"

"I told her after dinner."

Shane raises his eyebrows. "And were you going to tell me?" he asks, sounding equal parts amused and annoyed.

"I'm telling you now!"

"Okay. Thank you for telling me."

Ilya drums his fingers on the steering wheel. "We should talk about it when we get home, probably."

"Hmm, sounds like somebody wants a gold star," Shane says, calling back to the running joke about their haphazard attempts to apply things that Ilya learns in therapy. "But, yeah. I guess that's a good idea."


When they walk into the house, Ilya heads straight for the kitchen. "I'm still hungry," he says. "You want something?"

"Yeah, I could eat."

This late in the season, the weight starts to shed like water, and shoveling down enough calories to stay ahead of it feels like a never-ending task. Ilya opens the fridge and passes Shane one of the chia pudding cups he gets from the meal prep service. For himself, he grabs a package of honey baked ham and starts cramming slices directly into his mouth.

Shane leans against the counter, stirring his pudding with a spoon. He claims it tastes good, but to Ilya it looks like wet caviar. "So, would it really be so bad if we just told people when we started?" he asks. "Before it ends up in a stupid legal deposition?"

Ilya looks down to tut at Anya, who's come into the kitchen to dance around his feet and beg for ham. And then he says, "No. If that is what you want, I agree it would be better to do it ourselves."

"What do you want, though?"

The truth is that Ilya likes to drop hints and tease, but he has mixed feelings about ever doing anything more than that. "I know I did things that would make it … embarrassing for you," he tries to explain. "To admit when we started."

Shane looks up from his pudding and stares at him blankly. "Are you kidding?" he says. "Is that what you really think?"

"Is fair."

"Okay, first of all, are you embarrassed about anything you did?"

Ilya pauses for a moment, even though he thinks he already knows the answer. Of course there's a part of him that wishes that he had reached out and grabbed Shane with both hands the first time they met, and that they could have skipped ahead to be together for real much sooner. But he also knows it wouldn't have worked like that. They would have hurt each other in different ways, and they might not have ended up where they are now.

So the question is whether he's embarrassed about anything he did in the meantime. He was young and hot and he had sex with a lot of people, but no one who was ever too drunk or too young, and no one who said yes when they really meant no. He was a slut, but compared to some of the other guys in the league he was practically a saint.

"No, I am not," he says. "But I am me and maybe it is different for you."

"It's really not, though," Shane says. He sets his pudding down on the counter and crosses his arms over his chest, looking angry in that fierce cute way that threatens to distract Ilya from the conversation. "First of all, I am never embarrassed about being with you. Not ever. If anything, I'm the one who should be embarrassed. I spent years telling myself that you were the only person I actually enjoyed having sex with, but I just hadn't met the right girl yet."

"That was very dumb," Ilya concedes.

"Exactly," Shane says, nodding. "I'm sure if people knew about that, the Reddit thread for 'Times Shane Hollander Should Have Realized He Was Fucking Gay' would put the Roz Sex Stories one to shame."

"You heard about that?"

Shane rolls his eyes. "Trust me, there is not a single person who spent time in an NHL locker room in 2015 who didn't hear about that."

Ilya looks down and sees that there's only one slice of ham left in the package. He holds it out to Shane, who quirks his lip and then opens his mouth, letting Ilya feed it to him. "Maybe I should start posting," Ilya muses. "They do not realize that none of my best sex stories have been shared yet."

"Absolutely not."

"The world needs to know, Shane!"

Seeming to realize that all the ham is gone, Anya nudges her head against Ilya's leg one more time before wandering off again. Ilya steps forward into Shane's orbit, letting himself go limp against him and pressing his forehead to Shane's shoulder. He says, "I do not want people to think -- oh, here's this good Canadian boy and he let this asshole run around on him for all those years."

Shane uncrosses his arms and wraps them around Ilya's waist. "Well, I don't want people to think that because that's not what happened. I feel like you're forgetting, like, the part where I was a paranoid basketcase who wouldn't even let you in my apartment."

Ilya groans, because he can't even tell if they're arguing or competing right now, which is … honestly not unfamiliar territory.

Shane reaches up and pushes him back by his shoulders, and then he brings one hand up to the base of Ilya's skull to tilt his head down and press their foreheads together. Once he has them rearranged to his liking, he says. "The minute I was ready for more, you dropped everything and changed your entire life to make it happen." He tugs on the hair at the base of Ilya's neck to emphasize his point. "You showed up to the cottage that first time and you were like, 'Oh by the way, if for some reason you wanted to try to be together for real, I stopped sleeping with other people months ago.'"

Ilya hums in response. Shane ducks in to kiss him, and then wraps his arms around his neck to draw them back against each other. After a minute, Shane says, "You know, for those first couple years, if you hadn't also been hooking up with 86 girls a week, I probably would have been too freaked out to keep meeting up with you."

Ilya laughs, and the feeling of it goes through him and loosens his whole body. He kisses Shane's temple and tugs him closer. "Sweetheart, I know you were very bad at satisfying women because you are very gay," he says, "but even I could not fuck 86 girls in one week."




Cliff Marlow's Duolingo Streak @jakemelnickooo
My dad used to make book back in the 80s and he says anyone who thinks you can control for players fucking should stick to playing bingo with nuns. So jot that down, I guess.

Hollander GOAT Farm @pdotbrown
Really don't understand the point of the DraftKings lawsuit. The sports analytics nerds went deep when Hollander/Rozanov got outed last year, all they found was that their stats were actually better when they played against each other.

flurry-adjusted expected geoff @geoffradner89
like they literally did a panel on it at sloan this year

James Hadad UCLA Anderson '23 @jameshadad0406
Imagine being an MBA student doing the time-honored humiliation ritual of showing up at Sloan to beg for a league job and you end up at a panel about how the data proves that falling in love with your archrival makes you better at hockey 😭😭😭

Montreal Mikey @voyageursvictory
They're facing legal action and Hollander and Rozanov still won't confirm when they got together. And you people want me to believe that The Trip was the first time one of them ever threw a game for each other.

hockey is for everyone @amina96
Remember when that video resurfaced of their most brutal checks against each other and there was a week of Discourse about whether they were in an abusive relationship? Baby, they were not throwing games, they were throwing each other into the boards at every opportunity.

Rozanov's Other Playoff Beard 🖤❤️ @rozanatic81
I can't believe the DraftKings lawsuit is dragging all the 'Hollanov were throwing games for each other' ghouls out of the sewer again, I hate it here.

shane hollander's #2 fan @fangirlsarah
ugh, i know bestie, we ride for draftkings at dawn

Problematic Luca Haas Age Gap @urfriendeddie
I know Hollander and Rozanov are literally married now, but I will never get used to seeing their stans be best friends on Twitter.

Admirals Armada @hh0411
For like 11 years, Hollander and Rozanov stans were ready at all times to meet each other in Temecula, and then on March 21, 2021 they were like the Allied powers teaming up to win WWII.

Rozanov's Other Playoff Beard 🖤❤️ @rozanatic81
Something something Legolas Gimli side by side with a friend dot gif.

DraftKings @draftkings
DraftKings is proud to be leading a new era of accessibility, accountability and transparency in sports betting, which is why we are seeking answers from the NHL on behalf of our users.




In the morning, they're standing next to each other in the bathroom brushing their teeth. Shane looks at their reflection in the mirror and thinks about how there are moments when it feels like they're so in sync that they could switch off, start brushing each other's teeth and not even dribble any toothpaste. And then he starts to get turned on a little bit, because sometimes his mind is a weird place.

He leans forward to spit in the sink, and then he says, "Okay, so what's the number one Roz sex story?"

Ilya smiles around his toothbrush before pulling it out of his mouth. "Easy answer!" he says. "I am a little upset you do not already know this. The night of July 10th, 2021. I know the Reddit requires photo proof, but don't worry, there are many photos."

Thinking back on that night, Shane remembers how they shoved the last of their drunken teammates out the door, left the backyard littered with empty beer bottles and plastic plates, and barely managed to stumble upstairs. "Seriously?" he says. "We were both so tired that you almost fell asleep with your tongue in my ass. There is no way that is your best sex story."

"Best day of my life, best sex of my life," Ilya says with a shrug. "Is obvious."

Shane docks his toothbrush with the charger base and gives Ilya a very dubious look. "That's sweet," he says, "but also it was after midnight, so technically it was July 11th."

"Wow, moy kalendarik."

"Your little calendar?"

Ilya sets down his own toothbrush and shifts around to stand behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and hooking his chin over Shane's shoulder. "My little calendar."

"Cute."

"So," Ilya says, pressing a kiss to the base of Shane's neck and two more behind his ear. "What is the best Shane Hollander sex story?"

Shane thinks about some of their hottest hotel room encounters, their first summer at the cottage, a balcony in Ibiza at the crack of dawn, and even the very sleepy sex they finally managed to have on their wedding night. Then he meets Ilya's eyes in the mirror and smirks. "Oh, definitely that time you fucked me when I was wearing all three of my Stanley Cup rings."


While they make breakfast, the conversation veers toward their game against Toronto tomorrow night, whether the Guardians' new coach is going to get fired before the end of the season (Shane says yes and Ilya disagrees) and if adding protein powder to scrambled eggs is a crime against God (Ilya says definitely yes and Shane disagrees).

After breakfast, they decide to take Anya for a walk. When they're making their way through the neighborhood, dodging the melting piles of dirty slush that are spilling onto the sidewalks, Shane says, "So, I only understood like 50% of everything that the lawyer told us, but even if we do say when we started, it doesn't, like, stop the court case from happening."

"True."

They keep walking, Anya trotting ahead in her little yellow boots, while Shane thinks about what to say next. Ottawa weather in March can be a little all over the place. Before they left the house it seemed warm enough to go out without a coat, but now he's regretting it, and he tugs the slightly too-long sleeves of his hoodie down over his knuckles. When he left the Voyageurs, it meant losing half his wardrobe and most of his favorite sweatshirts, but his departure from Montreal was well-timed with being able to claim all of Ilya's clothes as joint marital property.

"I guess--" Shane starts to say. "I don't understand why a sports gambling website and a bunch of complete strangers we've never met have decided that this is some big secret that we're keeping from them." He says this part with a grimace. Getting hassled about how he personally lost someone money on a prop bet was his least favorite kind of fan encounter until the first time someone said, "I don't even care about hockey, but I just love you and your husband!" like that was supposed to be a compliment.

"People are very nosy."

"I don't want us to feel like we have to keep secrets anymore. So maybe we should just tell them. I'm not fucking telling the entire world that you jerked off at me in the shower, but we could tell them something."

"You mean like we should tell them a lie?"

Ilya doesn't look entirely opposed to this idea, but that isn't quite what Shane has in mind. "Not exactly," he says. "Anyway, we don't have to make a decision right now."

"No," Ilya says, considering. "Probably better to do it before the playoffs start."

Shane hip-checks him, snickering when Ilya almost stumbles into a slush pile. "Oh, you've got plans for the playoffs, huh Rozanov?"

"Hmm, do you not remember that we are on the same team now?" Ilya asks with raised eyebrows.

Shane can't help the goofy smile that spreads across his face. "How could I forget?"

"The best team."

"It's looking that way, yeah," Shane agrees. He doesn't want to jinx anything, but he's never gotten anywhere by pretending to be humble when it's not warranted.

Ilya stops, shifting Anya's leash to his other hand so he can reach out and lace their fingers together, and then he brings them up to press a kiss to Shane's knuckles. "No, I mean -- well that, too. But the best team I have ever been on is you and me."


Unlike the coming out statement last year, they write this one themselves. Unfortunately, neither of them has gotten any more eloquent during that time, so it kind of takes forever.

Shane pecks out what they want to say on his phone while Ilya pages through image search results for the right picture. They're on the couch in the living room with a replay of a basketball game from the night before on in the background, because Ilya keeps up an allegiance to the Celtics and loves to tell the story about how on a night out during his rookie year, Kevin Garnett told him things that he still hears in his nightmares.

Shane's sitting up while Ilya is sprawled out with his head in Shane's lap, so he looks away from the screen and down at Ilya. "Do we have to say the part about --"

Ilya rolls his eyes. "Hmm, sorry I do not want you to be murdered by a pack of Rose Landry fans."

Shane's annoyed, but Ilya is right, Rose's fans have memories longer than elephants. "Ugh, fine."




shanehollanderhockeyplayer and ilyarozanov81 on Instagram

[Image description: An on-ice photo of a face-off between an eighteen-year-old Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, wearing Team Canada and Team Russia jerseys.]

shanehollanderhockeyplayer and ilyarozanov81 We know there's continued to be discussion about how our relationship may have impacted our career performance and the outcome of our games against each other. We still think our accomplishments speak for themselves, but the answer is that this was the last game we played against each other before we first became romantically involved.

The years between then and now weren't always easy, and that part will stay private. We do want to make it clear that we each have nothing but respect for any of our past partners. But if you were wondering when you should have stopped rooting for our teams or betting on our success, now you know.

We're looking ahead to the rest of the season, and focused on bringing the Stanley Cup home to Ottawa.

shotsonseth
Yeah okay so this is a picture from World Juniors in motherfucking 2010

heytherebenji
like i need you to understand that somebody took that picture and then they uploaded it to a first generation iphone

josiehahah
Soooooo … they hooked up for the first time at World Juniors?

hollanovcore
somebody log on to reddit and post this to the roz sex stories thread

storrowed_by_ilya
OMG Roz Sex Stories! Talk about a blast from the past. Remember in 2018 when no one could figure out why all the stories had completely dried up and the leading theory was that someone finally taught him how to use an NDA? Still can't believe the real reason was just … Shane Hollander.

lesboslandry 🌸💅
"Nothing but respect for any our past partners" lmao why not just say "Nothing but respect for THEE Rose Landry and Rozanov's four-digit body count"




Michael Burnham's PR Agent @sarahchip28
Hollanov in 2021: Forced to disclose relationship because of an app that lets people pay money to get wished happy birthday by their favorite D list celeb. Hollanov in 2022: Forced to disclose relationship AGAIN because of an app that lets people keep a casino in their pocket.

Michael Burnham's PR Agent @sarahchip28
We need to let Shane Hollander hunt the internet with a gun, actually.

Sons of Ixion @boodramsedges
Calling Hayden Pike a D list celeb seems generous

montreal voyageurs widow 👿 @queenofswords
i didn't think it was possible for #tripgate to get worse. he was with rozanov when he revitalized our franchise, when he won the calder, all four times he led the league in points, the three times that he won us the cup. montreal voyageurs relegation when.

Karam @quebec_karam46
Uh, the NHL doesn't have relegation? That's a European soccer thing??

montreal voyageurs widow 👿 @queenofswords
don't care the voyageurs deserve it.

release the frozen envelope @logolookaway
Real NBA oldheads know it's very funny that Shane Hollander being gay brought widespread liberated fandom to the NHL. Close enough, welcome back Free Darko.

both teams played hard @ddoubledribble
Liberated fandom but this time the aesthetic is gay kissing.

Still Shayden @shaydensource
You all said I was crazy. You said Rozanov was Shane's gay awakening, and that it happened after 2018. But now we find out that Shane knew he was gay the whole time … and they canonically had other partners … Shaydens, we have never been more back.

kip grady offer sheet @comradebestie
This is the kind of delusion they talk about in the DSM V

Guardians Rebuild Enthusiast @kooperxnathan
This new revelation is interesting, but it doesn't actually do anything to stop the DraftKings lawsuit. And we don't talk enough about how funny it would be if the lawsuit somehow went forward and the NHL had to show up and defend the Hollander/Rozanov relationship in court.




After they post to Instagram, both of their phones start buzzing almost immediately, and Ilya makes the executive decision that they should ignore the immediate fallout by fucking on the couch.

"Everyone knows now how long you've been gagging for my dick," Ilya says. Shane is sitting in his lap and riding him slowly, little strands of his hair coming free and plastering themselves to the sides of his flushed face. "From now on, everyone who looks at you will know that you've always been mine." It's stupid sex talk, but he does also secretly believe it. It feels like their bodies left a permanent mark on each other all those years ago, even if it took a while for their hearts and minds to catch up.

Shane keeps one arm wrapped around Ilya's neck and braces his other hand on the back of the couch for leverage, picking up the pace. "Prove it," he says, leaning down to bite Ilya's lower lip.

Switching to Russian, Ilya asks if he can take it harder. Shane pants out a reply in Russian, telling him that he can take whatever Ilya's got. Sometimes Shane's Russian is still grammar workbook formal, and it makes him sound like someone's grandfather. Ilya sets that unsexy comparison aside for later and starts tilting his hips up off the couch to meet Shane's thrusts.

"Everyone's gonna to know how much I fucking love you," Shane says. "They're going know that they never had a chance."

"Ah, so everyone will know that you won." Ilya reaches between their bodies to start stroking Shane's dick, smearing the wet mess that he finds there along the length of him. "Hollander, of course you love this."

"We both won," Shane grits out. "We're going to win everything together now forever."


Thanks to the wet wipes they keep in the side table drawer next to the lube, they're able to clean up enough to temporarily satisfy Shane without leaving the couch.

Ilya rolls his neck a couple times and picks up his phone. At first glance, he sees texts from both Farah and Harris about how they would have appreciated a heads up (Farah's is more polite, Harris's has more emojis) and a lot of unread messages in both the team group chat and Stupid Gay Questions. He sends an actual apology to Farah and a row of devil horns emojis to Harris, and then he swipes over to open the Instagram app.

"What do the comments say?" Shane asks without moving from where he's slumped against Ilya's side.

"Mostly good things," Ilya says. He likes a couple of comments from verified accounts that are at the top of the replies (a row of rainbow flags and flexed bicep emojis from one of his old teammates and a nice message from a German F1 driver Ilya made friends with at an Adidas photoshoot a few years back) before scrolling further down. "People still have many questions, though."

Shane wrinkles his nose. "It's all those weird people who don't even like hockey again, isn't it?"

Ilya reaches around to grip the back of Shane's neck. "You know, some people would be flattered --"

"Ugh, no thank you."

"Of course, lyubimyy."

"Anyway, how can they still have questions? What else can they possibly want to know?"

If Shane really believes that, Ilya has some bad news for him about the entire rest of their lives, but he decides to let that one go for now. "Many things!" he says. "Most will be difficult to answer unless we finally make that sex tape."

Shane rubs his palm over his face. "Oh my god. Are they all sex questions?"

"Not all of them, no. But maybe we could answer a few. Make an Instagram video." Now that they've gone ahead and done this, Ilya is starting to remember that it can be fun to bait confused morons online.

"Yeah, okay."

"Wow, who are you and what have you done with my husband?"

Shane stands up, stretching his arms above his head until his joints crack, distracting Ilya from his phone with the elongated line of his body. "Fuck off," he says. "I don't know -- I don't want to start airing out our whole lives, or anything. But we're not hiding anymore, right? We worked really hard to get here, I guess I don't mind people knowing that."

Shane holds out his hand, and Ilya takes it, letting himself be hauled up from the couch. "Ah, yes. I understand now," he says, grinning. "You do love to show off your hard work."

"I love you, asshole," Shane tells him.

"Ya tebya lyublyu," Ilya says, and then his grin widens. "I love you so much that I am not even going to look for a .gif of you getting deked out by Korhonen yesterday."

Shane lets out an irritated huff and starts leading him toward the stairs. "Been saving that one, huh?"

Ilya keeps grinning and uses his free hand to nudge Shane forward with the slap on the ass. "Only the best for you."




Scott: Hey guys, would have been nice to mention to that you were going to post on Instagram that you've been together since before you started your ELCs.

Popov: Rozanov, reporter is asking me why you stayed publicly aligned with Russia for so many years after starting secret gay relationship, should I just tell her you're fucking stupid?

Rose: I texted my publicist a link to your Instagram post and all she sent back was a frowny face. If she raises her rates I'm sending you the bill

Ilya: So sorry, know this will be a real dent in your movie star salary

Rose: Watch yourself, babe. I'm happy to tell the next reporter I see that I was the cupid who helped you two get your act together

Wyatt: Wow, I thought the accidental lore drops would be over now but I guess I was wrong

Shane: Sorry everyone, I didn't think this would bring up more questions for you guys

Bood: 😂😂😂

J.J.: Who wants to tell him?

Hayden: Buddy, let's just say that I've already resigned myself to answering questions about your relationship at your HOF induction ceremony

Ilya: Yes will be a big day for you Pike, closest you will ever get to the Hall of Fame




A week goes by after they make the Instagram post. The Centaurs win on the road in Toronto and Buffalo, and drop a game at home against Washington. Then, they eke one out in OT against the Scouts, becoming the first team in the East to clinch a playoff spot. Shane doesn't want to get too cocky, but he knows what it's like at this point in the season for every game to feel like another staggering climb up a mountain and the difference when every game feels like picking up speed running downhill.

The next time they have an off-day at home, they make the video sitting on the couch in the living room. "Hello everyone!" Ilya says with an exaggerated wave. They've brought one of the phone sex tripods out of retirement to position Ilya's phone on the coffee table. "Last week my husband and I shared some things with nosy internet. But still, internet has more questions. Because I am very nice, we will answer a few. Because Shane is very mean, no sexy questions."

Shane rolls his eyes. "Let's do this before I change my mind."

Ilya claps his hands together. "Okay, time to get started! Shane, why did I decide to sign with Ottawa?"

"To be closer to me."

"This is true! Shane woke me up in the middle of the night to give very boring Canadian geography lesson. Montreal and Ottawa, only two hours apart."

Shane tilts his head. "Well, it didn't happen exactly like that. But that is … definitely kind of what happened."

"Yes, one of the best decisions I ever made," Ilya says, nodding confidently. "Got to be closer to my boyfriend, build up a great team. And now I get to play with my husband and soon we will win a cup together. Easy choice, yes?"

"I think … it was a hard choice. I think you risked a lot. And that I'm very lucky."

"Next question. What happened at the 2017 All-Star Game?"

"Well, the game was in Tampa that year, and the league decided to do an East versus West match-up. The East won, and --"

Ilya shoves Shane out of frame temporarily and leans forward. "Yes, yes, my husband thinks he is funny," he says. "But to answer … I think when a relationship is long, it will have difficult times. You may come apart, and you hope you find a way to come back together again. So maybe people saw that game, and thought it was a new beginning, and maybe they were not wrong. Just not right in the way that they thought."

"Um, yeah. Something like that." Shane thinks about leaving it there, but decides he's unwilling to let Ilya beat him so handily at making mushy declarations. "I guess what I would also say," he adds, "is that it was really exciting to play together for the first time. And I thought, 'Wow, I hope we get to do this again someday.' And at the time, I was thinking, like, another All-Stars or a summer charity game or something."

Shane pauses for a second, and tries not to let his exasperation with his younger self show on his face. He's always had high expectations for himself and his performance, but his expectations for the rest of his life used to be pretty low.

"Anyway," he says finally, aware that he's being fucking embarrassing right now. "I -- if you had told me in 2017 that someday Ilya and I were going to be teammates for real?"

"Is true," Ilya cuts in, because he can always tell when Shane has run out of words. "Sometimes I think he is more excited that we are teammates than that we are husbands."

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up."

"Okay, next question! Shane, did we have a plan to come out before stupid FanMail video?"

"Yeah, uh, I don't really have a great answer for this one," Shane says, scratching the back of his neck. "We were actually going to come out last summer, after the end of the season, but before we got married. We didn't have much of a plan, though. We probably would have done pretty much the same thing, shared it in an Instagram post or whatever, just without the unexpected circumstances."

"Boo! Boring! I had many exciting plans." Ilya starts putting up fingers as he ticks through an imaginary list. "Kiss cam on the Jumbotron during a game! Press conference on Roger Crowell's front doorstep. Buy commercial time during broadcast of Cup final and advertise the link to our wedding registry."

"What? We didn't have a wedding registry."

Ilya shrugs. "Yes, yes, we are very charitable guys," he says. "Asked our guests to donate to the Irina Foundation." He points his finger at the camera. "Hey, everyone watching, you do this, too!"

Shane smiles at him, feeling annoyed and fond and extremely in love. "I think maybe that's a good place to leave it."




Ottawa Centaurs Assemble! @ericsoutheast
Okay, glad that's settled, this means we're going to finally start talking about how Ottawa can fix our penalty kill, right?

Guardians Rebuild Enthusiast @kooperxnathan
You know that the Centaurs have a top five penalty kill percentage and they're about to lock down the number one seed, right? It's important to me that you know that.

Ottawa Centaurs Assemble! @ericsoutheast
Always room to improve, dude.

morgan 2481 @_morganotw
Yeah, so after all that what I'm hearing is that they got serious at the 2017 All-Star Game.

Mattie @brightonrozrider
this whole time, we thought the all-star game kiss was ilya making a first move. but that was him trying to say that he wanted to get back together?!?

hung up on hollander @holly2424
They kept it a secret for ELEVEN YEARS and got outed a couple months before they planned to come out on their own terms. Hayden Pike and FanMail Brad, I hope you enjoy each other's company in hell.

Cliff Marlow's Duolingo Streak @jakemelnickooo
So glad I can go back to losing money on my questionable anytime goal score parlays in peace.

stop sleeping on the scouts @spikespikespike
I keep meaning to ask you about your display name, what language is Cliff Marlow learning?

Cliff Marlow's Duolingo Streak @jakemelnickooo
English! We're all really proud of him.

Daniel's Gameday Picks @dprops89
I'm pretty sure that Hollander and Rozanov's relationship tanked my fantasy team in 2018, when are we going to have THAT conversation?




Ilya pretty much forgets about the DraftKings lawsuit when the playoffs start, and completely forgets about it after the end of the season and over the summer, so it's a little bit of a surprise when Farah calls them with an update on the morning of the Ottawa home opener.

"Just wanted to make sure you saw that the DraftKings lawsuit was dismissed with prejudice!" Farah tells them brightly. "That means they can't try to file again, so this really should be the end of it."

"Thanks for letting us know," says Shane. They're standing in the kitchen with the phone between them on speaker, close enough that Ilya can tuck his hand in the back pocket of Shane's track pants. "That's a relief."

"Yes, thank you," Ilya says. He knows that they'll probably still get asked by reporters about the lawsuit being thrown out, but he's not too worried about it. There's much bigger news to talk about tonight.

"I'll let you guys get going," Farah says. "I know it's gonna be a big night."

Ilya and Shane look at each other with matching grins, because it definitely is. After all, they have a banner to raise.