Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander/Original Male Character(s)

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Original Characters, Yuna Hollander, David Hollander, Svetlana Vetrova, Hayden Pike, Jackie Pike, Rose Landry, Miles (Game Changers), Wyatt Hayes, Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais, Troy Barrett, Harris Drover, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Luca Haas, Zane Boodram, Coach Wiebe

Additional Tags:

Alternate Universe, Roommates, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Cheating, Emotional Affair, Yearning, a lot of yearning, Bartender Shane Hollander, Bouncer Ilya Rozanov, Photographer Ilya Rozanov, Hockey Player Ilya Rozanov, Hockey Coach Shane Hollander, First Kiss, Kissing, Rough Kissing, Neck Kissing, Jealousy, Possessive Sex, Long-Term Relationship(s), Long One Shot, Long-Distance Friendship, Childhood Friends, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Mutual Pining, Mutual Masturbation, Masturbation, Top Ilya Rozanov, Bottom Shane Hollander, Dom/sub, Sub Shane Hollander, Dom Ilya Rozanov, Cock Slut Shane Hollander, Autistic Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov is Obsessed With Shane Hollander, Jealous Shane Hollander, Jealous Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander Has a Praise Kink, Supportive Ilya Rozanov, POV Alternating, Boyfriends, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Idiots in Love, Falling In Love, Forbidden Love, Time Jump, Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Brat Shane Hollander, Brat Tamer Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander Walks Ilya Rozanov Like A Dog

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-03-27 Words: 45,741 Chapters: 1/1

You're all I ever wanted in my life

Summary

When Shane Hollander moves to Boston to be with his longtime boyfriend, he doesn't expect to start developing feelings for his boyfriend's oldest friend and roommate, Ilya Rozanov.

Notes

hiiii

so i came up with this idea and it took me an entire week to write it but here she is, finally done!

this is an au where shane has a boyfriend and ends up cheating on him with ilya (shane/ilya do not cheat on each other). because this is an au, there are some changes: shane isn't a hockey player (anymore), ilya played professionally for russia then stopped, shane is 4 years younger than ilya, hayden/jj/wyatt are not hockey players either.

note that i do not know anything about hockey or what it takes to be drafted/hired for the nhl but this is fiction so please don't get on me for any inaccuracies. same goes for things in boston, i do not live there so don't expect things to be accurate.

i hope you all enjoy this! ♡

There’s been a lot of changes to Shane Hollander’s life in the past three years. 

The first one happened shortly after turning eighteen. He was in a car accident and had to have surgery because of it. He survived and the doctors said he was lucky because he will make a full recovery but he didn’t feel lucky. Even though he’d make a full recovery, that didn’t include getting to play hockey again.

Hockey has been the biggest thing in Shane’s life from the time he was three years old. He was even set to go pro with the NHL looking to draft him. That was before some fucking asshole, drunk driver hit him. 

He knows he’s lucky he didn’t die because most drunk driver cases don’t end up with the drunk person dying. Shane just couldn’t see how he could live a life without being able to play hockey so no, he didn’t feel lucky. 

The second big change in his life came shortly after his accident. It was meeting someone he never thought he could ever be with. A man. 

Shane’s known most of his life that he didn’t like girls the way other boys liked them. He liked boys that way and didn’t think he’d ever get to have it because he was set to become a professional hockey player for the NHL. Those two things just don’t happen. Then he got into an accident and met a really cute medical student while in the hospital. 

Elliott Brooks was a second year med student at McGill and Shane was admitted to the Royal Victoria Hospital, the biggest hospital in Montreal which is also a teaching hospital. Elliott was one of four medical students that came into Shane’s room one day with the doctor who he saw since he’s been there. He still had about a week before he could be released home and start his rehabilitation— the first appointment already booked for the day after he’s released. He knows that this hospital has medical students and residents coming into every room with staff physicians so he’s not surprised to see a group behind his doctor. He didn’t expect to find one of them attractive and also seemed to catch his eye as well. 

The student came back to his room another time but by himself to introduce himself. He was charming and funny. He also seemed like a sweet and caring man considering he’s studying to become an ER doctor. He must really want to help people and that was attractive to Shane. 

Elliott continued to stop by his room throughout that week. They started getting to know each other and he was really helpful with anything Shane needed. After he was released, it was very easy for Shane to fall for Elliott. He helped him throughout his recovery and rehab which was a few months. He’s also charming, funny, intelligent, and caring. His parents think he’s great and Shane was happy to have someone to love him for him even though he was at his absolute lowest. 

Without hockey but with Elliott came another change in his life. He needed a new path. Shane decided to leave hockey behind— apart from watching it because he’s still a huge fan— and find a new plan, a new direction. He didn’t know what his new passion should be then his dad suggested he go into finance like he did. Shane thought it was a good idea, his dad does well and he seems happy— that could be Shane too.

Shane enrolled in the business program at John Abbott because in Montreal once you graduated high school at around the age of seventeen, you could go into Cegep or you could also decide to then go to University. What Shane needed to do was complete a degree in business at a Cegep then enroll into the finance program at a university which would be McGill if he plans to follow his fathers footsteps. 

Shane spent the next three years completing his business degree at John Abbott while Elliott continued his studies. Shane graduated from Cegep around the same time that Elliott was graduating from medical school. He was to start at McGill in the fall and Elliott would be starting his residency. Everything was aligned so perfectly, Shane really thought this was as good as it could be for him not playing hockey. Then Elliott chose to do his residency in Boston instead of staying in Montreal.  

They had a huge fight about it. Elliott expected Shane to move with him but Shane had gotten into McGill, how could he leave? He didn’t know how it happened but the decision became for Shane to differ from his program at McGill for a year while they figured something out. He didn’t technically have a year as he had to tell McGill by January if he’d be starting the program in the fall. 

The months they did long distance were extremely hard and almost ruined their entire relationship so come January, Shane chose Elliott over McGill and started packing to move to Boston. 

Shane was disappointed he didn’t go through with his plan to go to McGill like his dad but that was never his dream to begin with. He can’t have his original dream so he created a plan and he thought that would include going to McGill and getting a job for the government like his father did. 

That’s where the next big change in Shane’s life happens. Moving to Boston to live with his boyfriend of three years at the age of twenty-one. The only plan he seems to have is that. Get to Boston and repair his relationship with his boyfriend while he finds a new path. 

The only thing is that when Elliott left for Boston without Shane, he asked his childhood friend if he could move in with him since he lives there and he couldn’t afford to rent something by himself. So that leaves Shane moving into the second bedroom in Elliott’s friend’s house with Elliott. He tells himself this is temporary until Elliott finishes his residency or if that’s going to be longer than two years then he and Elliott could find their own apartment, something that they could afford.

Shane makes the drive from Montreal to Boston in just under six hours since he did make a couple of stops on the way. He left a lot of stuff at his parents house in Montreal but took what he knew he’d need, which all fit into his Landrover. 

Elliott is there to greet him when he pulls up in front of the address he was given. It’s a cute little house, Shane smiles taking it in as he closes the car door, putting his jacket back on that he took off during the drive. Elliott comes walking over to him and pulls him into his arms, hugging him tight and kissing his head. Shane instinctively wraps his arms around him, hugging him back just as hard even through their winter coats. 

He hasn’t seen him in person since August when he left for Boston. Every time one of them was going to make the drive over, Elliott got busy with his residency whether it was going to the operation room, being on-call, having a course, or just something. So Shane didn’t push it. 

He’s happy to be hugging him now though, it feels nice, he had missed this feeling— being loved on by the person who is so deeply in love with you. Shane smiles into his chest before they pull apart and kiss softly on the lips. 

“Missed you so much,” Elliott tells him, smiling widely. 

“Missed you too,” Shane smiles. 

“How was the drive? You got here pretty quickly, we’ll have more time to spend together since I’ve got a really early day tomorrow,” Elliott asks but then rambles on about work as Shane puts his hat on, the tips of his ears getting cold. 

“Uh— yeah, the drive was easy enough even with the snow,” Shane says as he starts grabbing some boxes out of the backseat. He hands one to Elliott who takes it. Shane grabs his duffle he used to use for hockey— that still has his skates in them— and a box before closing the car door and following Elliott to the house. 

They step inside, dropping the boxes and the bag to the floor by the door, standing on the mat so neither of them get snow on the wood floors. When Shane stands back up from dropping those things on the ground he’s met with a tall, really fucking hot, man with no shirt on standing at the bottom of the stairs to the right of Shane. 

He looks Shane over— Shane’s wearing jeans that are tucked into his winter boots, and a big, black puffer jacket on top of a white hoodie that you can see as his coat isn’t zipped up—  and his eyes land on his face, the tiniest smile twitching at his lips. Shane feels really hot all of a sudden and he isn’t so sure it’s just because he has so many layers on inside and his beanie still on his head. 

“You must be Shane,” he says finally in a very thick Russian accent— one of the only things Shane already knows about Elliott’s friend. 

“Hi, yeah, uh— I’m Shane,” he cringes at himself. “You must be Ilya, it’s nice to meet you.”

Ilya Rozanov once did a foreign exchange student program when he was ten years old. He moved in with a nice Canadian family in Montreal for the year where he went to school with the kid whose family he was staying with. That kid happened to be Elliott Brooks. Ilya lived with the Brooks family for a year before returning back to Russia. Elliott and Ilya would send each other emails to keep up with each other through the years until social media blew up then they communicated solely through that. Shane was told that they aren’t very close but that Elliott’s always liked Ilya. He was a nice kid with a fucked up family and he always tried to help him where he could, reminding Shane why he fell for Elliott in the first place. As they got older, they drifted somewhat until Ilya moved to the United States when he was twenty-one. 

Elliott told him that he’d really get along with Ilya because he also loves hockey. He told him that Ilya played professionally in Russia when he was eighteen until he decided to stop playing and move to Boston three years later. Shane tried to ask why he stopped playing but Elliott had shrugged and said that Ilya didn’t choose to tell him and he never asked. Shane wants to know why Ilya would stop playing professionally. He wants to know if he tried to get drafted to the U.S. or Canada. But he won’t push, not if Elliott won’t even. 

All Shane does know is that for the past few years in Boston, Ilya bought this little townhouse with some of his earnings, had given too much of his money to his horrible father and brother apparently, and kept a good amount saved. Elliott said he’s into photography and has some odd jobs for that but mainly he works as a bouncer at this bar that’s about a ten minute drive from the house. 

Shane snaps back into reality when he hears Elliott ask Ilya to help them. “Why? Are you both not strong enough?” Ilya asks sarcastically, eyes only looking to Elliott for a moment before they’re right back on Shane.

“You’re an asshole,” Elliott tells him, laughing it off.

“We’ll be fine,” Shane says, before finally tearing his eyes away from Ilya and looking at Elliott— his boyfriend. “C’mon,” Shane tells him before they head back out to his car to grab the last of his things, locking the car, and heading back inside quickly since it started snowing again. It's the start of February and there isn’t one bit of green anywhere, the entire area covered in snow. 

Shane gets everything unpacked in Elliott’s room up the small flight of stairs that was to the right when you walk inside the house. The second level is more of a half floor as it only holds the two bedrooms and a bathroom. 

On the first floor when you walk in, you can see the living room straight ahead. On the left of the entrance is a small hall closet to leave jackets, then a small hall leading to the kitchen. There’s a small dining table inside the kitchen and a sliding door that leads to the small yard that is mostly filled with snow. Off the living room and by the stairs, there is a second washroom but it’s smaller than the one upstairs and there’s a small room that Ilya turned into a home gym— it’s nothing fancy but it has enough. Shane wonders if Ilya would mind if he uses it. It’s not a big place but it definitely seems to be good enough for one, which is probably what Ilya expected when he bought it, not to end up taking in an old friend and that friend’s boyfriend. 

After Shane’s unpacked, showered and dressed, he’s taken out to dinner by Elliott, informed by him that Ilya went out then has work when Shane asks if he’s already made a bad impression. Shane enjoys a lovely date night with his boyfriend before getting back home and having sex for the first time in months.

It wasn’t anything more than how it usually is and Shane isn’t quite sure why he’s disappointed by that. Until he’s caught off guard late at night by Ilya walking into the kitchen after seemingly just getting home from work. How did he not hear him come in?

Ilya’s in dark jeans and a black t-shirt that is very tight. Shane can see that he’s got a gold chain on but whatever is on it is hiding under his shirt. He has what looks like the softest curls neatly styled on top of his head. His eyes land back on Ilya’s chest because fuck— he saw his chest without a shirt earlier so he knows it looks good but seeing fabric stretched across it so tightly to his body is—

“Did I scare you?” Ilya asks, walking past Shane to the fridge. 

Shane steps to the side since he was in front of the fridge and watches as Ilya opens it, looks inside, and takes a beer bottle out, before closing the fridge. Ilya looks at him and Shane realizes he hasn’t said anything.

“No, I just didn’t hear you come in. What are you— a cat? Why are you so quiet?” Shane asks teasingly. 

He’s very aware that Ilya is looking at Shane who’s in a pair of Elliott’s sweatpants without a shirt on. Shane’s chest feels hot when Ilya’s eyes scan over him. 

“I was being uh— respectful to not wake you— either of you,” Ilya corrects himself. “I know he does not get a lot of sleep,” he adds, nodding, indicating he’s speaking of Elliott who is in bed waiting for him. Shane was just getting some water for himself before bringing a glass to Elliott when Ilya got home. “Usually I am not so quiet,” Ilya adds when Shane doesn’t speak. 

Ilya winks at him over the bottle of beer he’s sipping from, eyes never leaving him. 

Shane’s cock twitches in his— his boyfriend’s— sweatpants. He needs to get out of this kitchen. “I should get to bed,” he says, but he doesn’t move. Why won’t his legs move?!

“Ok,” Ilya says simply, and for some reason it makes Shane smile softly. All he can think is that was cute. 

Shane finally breaks eye contact and turns on his heel, making his way out of the kitchen and back up to bed with Elliott. He’s already asleep so he leaves the glass on the nightstand by Elliott and gets in beside him. 

Shane lays on his back under the covers next to a sleeping Elliott who’s turned with his back to him. He’s too wound up to sleep now so he lays there thinking, which sometimes isn’t a good thing because Shane’s mind can bring him to some pretty dark places. 

Where it does bring him though is to the realization that another big change just happened in his life that came right after he moved to Boston.

He met Ilya Rozanov.

*

Ilya didn’t think much of it when his old friend Elliott reached out to him one random Tuesday. 

Until he read his message: 

Rozy! How are you motherfucker??? Listen, some of my plans changed and I now don’t have anywhere to stay when I get to Boston. You think I can stay in that second bedroom of yours through my residency or at least till I can actually afford something on my own? You’d be saving my life man. Please say yes. 

Ilya had agreed to let him stay with him even though he turned into a bit of a condescending asshole. But Ilya is also an asshole— sometimes— most of the time. 

Elliott was a great friend to Ilya when they were kids and he lived with the Brooks family for a year. He stayed a good friend to him throughout their teens until Ilya went pro and Elliott started his path to becoming a doctor. 

Elliott’s parents were hardworking, sweet, caring people. His mother is a kindergarten teacher and his dad worked as a contractor until he died of a heart attack when Elliott turned seventeen— his mother is still alive and teaching in Montreal. He was an only child and Ilya hated his brother so for those few years, he considered Elliott to be like a brother to him. He knows Elliott felt the same way. 

The night before Ily had to return to Russia, at eleven years old, Elliott told him that he thinks he likes boys the way boys like girls. Ilya understood because he felt similarly. Ilya liked girls, but he also liked boys. He told Elliott, which made him smile. He hugged his friend who felt like a brother to him and told him that he’ll have a good life, one he wants. Ilya didn’t know if he’d have a good life but he knew that Elliott would because he was a nice Canadian boy with a nice family. Ilya had a not nice family, except for his mama, and came from a not nice Russia. 

Elliott was the only person who knew Ilya for who he was and vice versa until they grew up and drifted apart. Interests that once were common aren’t and a nice Canadian boy turned into an arrogant prick. He still couldn't say no to his only real friend— well, he was his only real friend until he got closer to Svetlana. 

Svetlana is his best friend and why he picked Boston— well, mainly— when he moved to the U.S. 

He grew up in Moscow with Svetlana but she didn’t know everything about him until he finally started to tell her around the age of seventeen, when Elliott lost his dad. He was able to relate to his friend because he lost his mom the year after he got back to Russia. He did his best to be there for him but Elliott started to retreat from him, making him closer to Svetlana.

At twenty, Svetlana moved to Boston and started working in a car dealership selling fancy cars. The following year, Ilya finally had enough of this life that was mapped out for him by his father and moved to Boston so that he could live in the same city as someone he’s actually close to and loves— as a friend.

Ilya had to leave his father and brother behind, it was all becoming too much for him. His mother taking too many pills and overdosing when he was just twelve years old really fucked with his head. She was the only family member he actually loved. His brother is ten years older than him meaning they don’t share the same mother. Irina was only twenty-one when she had Ilya, she was only eleven years older than Alexei. He hated her without even giving her a real chance and then Ilya was born. 

The resentment grew from there and Ilya never stood a chance to have a real brother, or a real father as he was fifty-two when he was born. Grigori always had a lot at stake when it came to Ilya. Irina taught him to skate and then gave him a puck and a stick and he was a natural. Grigori utilized that to his advantage, by turning Ilya into a star. Hockey was a lot of fun for Ilya until his mother died then it turned into a performance and something he had to do because of his father and Russia. 

Ilya didn’t want to keep playing but then he got the opportunity to play professionally for Russia. His father made it known that he had to say yes even if Ilya didn’t want to. He was good at hockey and he knew he could win games and make some money so he accepted. He played professional hockey for Russia for three years until he couldn’t do it anymore and he left. 

He left a note for his father that said he was leaving Russia and not to contact him unless there is an actual emergency then he left for Boston. 

He bought himself a cute little house near some nightlife but still quiet to live. There’s also a school nearby that’s good if he ever were to have any kids. It’s not big enough to have many kids anyway but he’s a young, single man and doesn’t want to blow all the money he’s earned from playing hockey that he has left and hadn’t given to his dad or brother. 

Ilya set up a bank account, put money into different accounts, and made a couple of investments to potentially earn some money from them. He didn’t know exactly what he’d do next but he had himself a work visa so he had to find a job. Having Svetlana really helped Ilya settle into Boston and being away from his family.

Ilya got a job as a bouncer at this bar near his place that pays well. He did want to find something he was passionate about like hockey was for a while. He thought about his mom and remembered how much she liked to take pictures. He still has the few that didn’t get destroyed with him. She’d take a lot of photos of him, them together, of pretty flowers and sunsets. His father got angry with her one night and broke her camera. Ilya was eight and he cried in his bed until his mom came into his room and in bed with him. 

That was one of the worst fights he’d heard from them. She would usually come to sleep with him after those fights. Sometimes his dad would kick her out of their room— not like she wanted to be next to him anyway after a fight like that— but mostly it’s because she knew that Ilya could hear them and knew he’d probably be scared. He always was so he’d let her hug his back and soothe him to sleep. She’d say you’re so brave over and over until they’d fall asleep. 

Remembering that moment made Ilya go out and buy a camera— a fancy one, not some cheap, crappy camera, one that he knew his mother would have loved to use. He would do it for her. He started photography as a hobby and a way to honor his mom until he realized he’s actually quite good at it. He started a portfolio and got hired to do some small jobs. 

Over the next almost five years, Ilya has done a solid amount of photography jobs, giving him a good income. He works a few nights a week at the bar which is good pocket money for him— and he likes to drink there too, and maybe pick up hot people there. It’s a queer friendly bar that has a lot of fluid men and women coming by. He can’t help it if he gets hit on— a lot. 

A year ago, his father called him and it was weird. He didn’t understand where he was or when he’d be back and that left Ilya confused since he hasn’t spoken to his father in years. So he called his brother and learned of his fathers dementia. Ilya went back to Russia for the first time in years. He saw his father, met with the doctor, and then told his brother to take care of him and he will pay for those expenses. Ilya said goodbye to his father and knew that he’d get some occasional phone calls from him when he wouldn’t remember.

They didn’t come often but when they did they weren’t pleasant. He would only call when he was confused and didn’t remember that Ilya left Russia years ago, asking for him to come home. He would tell him to call Alexei to come help him or he’d have to call him himself and threaten him considering he’s the one paying him to be there for their father.

So a few months ago when his old friend reached out to ask for a place to stay, he said yes because his friendship helped him a lot growing up. He figured he wouldn’t stay very long anyway not with him becoming a doctor. 

What he didn’t expect is for him to then ask if his boyfriend could come stay with them too. Ilya wanted to say no but he couldn’t. Not because it was his friend asking, but because he knew what Elliott’s boyfriend looked like. He’s seen a lot of Instagram posts from Elliott of them over the past three years. 

From the first post Elliott made of the two of them, Ilya developed a crush on Shane Hollander. 

He thought he was very pretty with beautiful freckles and he couldn’t stop looking at him in the photo of him and Elliott. Ilya couldn’t stalk Shane’s page since he has a private account and they haven’t ever met so he couldn’t just follow him. So instead, he tried to not think about his old friend’s boyfriend or how attractive he was. Until he’d see new post after new post. 

Ilya knew it would be a bad idea to say yes to Shane coming to stay with them considering he still very much thinks he’s beautiful and still very much shouldn’t think that, but he just couldn’t. His mouth said yes before he could take it back, and maybe that’s why he said it so fast— he didn’t want to take it back. He wanted to meet Shane. He needed to see him in person and see if it’s all just been built up in his head. This really cute guy in pictures maybe it’s just that and he’s really nothing special after all.

Ilya was hopeful that would be the case but oh fuck was he wrong. 

Walking down the stairs and being met with Shane in person, dressed in his winter coat and white hoodie underneath and his nose all pink, Ilya’s lips quirked up in a brief smile.

He is fucking perfect. 

He didn’t get to see much of Shane or speak to him before he left to go meet Svetlana for dinner then he had to get to work. He told her about Shane over the years which she thinks he’s insane for allowing him to move in but maybe he’s a secret masochist, he’s not quite sure, but either way, he tells her about meeting him briefly and how cute he was in his hat with his freckles and pink nose. 

Around eight he showed up at the bar and started his shift, getting home just past two o’clock in the morning. Since Elliott moved in, Ilya has made sure to be as quiet as possible when getting home after working at the bar. He knows he works a lot with not enough sleep so he slips back in the house, toeing off his boots and hanging his coat up in the small closet to the left. 

He can see a small light on in the kitchen and his heart rate picks up. Shane has lived here for barely twelve hours and he somehow already knows that must be him in there. His feet walk him there without really thinking about it and he sees Shane drink some water before getting startled by him. 

Ilya can’t take his eye off him. He’s in a pair of McGill sweatpants that he knows belongs to Elliott and that gets him irrationally annoyed. He’s also shirtless and fuck, he’s perfect. 

He’s seen many photos of Shane over the past three years but they truly did not do him any justice. He’s even more unbelievably beautiful, sexy, and cute in person. Ilya didn’t know one person could be all those things, and more.

He asks Shane if he scared him as he walks past him but he doesn’t reply until Ilya looks at him expectantly, then he asks why he’s so quiet. Ilya can’t help but flirt a little. He can but he doesn’t want to. He wants to flirt with Shane. He wants Shane. 

But he can’t have him. And he’s reminded by that fact when Shane goes back to bed with someone else. 

*

The next morning, Shane is woken up by Elliott’s alarm going off before six in the morning. He shoves his head into his pillow while Elliott turns it off and turns around to hug Shane who groans. 

“Sorry babe,” he says softly into his shoulder before he kisses the scar from the accident. 

Shane turns his head to look at him and smiles softly, “It’s okay. How long will you be gone today?”

“Like all day. I have to be at the hospital for seven and I’ve got a sixteen hour day so I won’t be home until nearly midnight,” Elliott tells him. First year residents could end up doing a maximum of sixteen hour shifts. Shane did a lot of research on how residency programs work prior to coming here but he thought they’d have at least some time together since he just moved here. Though, he did make sure he wouldn’t have anything yesterday so he could be there when Shane got there so he can’t be too upset with him, right?

“Oh,” he says softly.

“You’ll be fine without me,” Elliott says, kissing him softly on the cheek before getting out of bed. “I think Ilya’s working again tonight since it’s Friday. You guys could hang out, get to know each other,” he suggests, shrugging before he slips out of the room quietly. Shane can hear the shower running since Elliott has to start getting ready to leave soon. 

He sighs, looking up at the ceiling. Hang out with Ilya today? How could he just hang out with the guy that has already consumed most of his mind already?

Shane lays there until Elliott comes back in the room with a towel wrapped around his waist. His boyfriend is very attractive. He gets compared to Henry Cavill a lot and yeah, Shane knows his boyfriend is hot and that other people want him. He’s got a good body— he works out as often as he can given his schedule— and a great jawline with just the right amount of stubble on it. His dark hair is always perfectly coiffed and he has perfect teeth. 

Shane watches him get ready, thinking about how the sight of this used to get Shane hard in a couple seconds but right now… 

“I don’t have time,” Elliott tells him with a smirk as he puts his tank top on before putting his scrubs top over it. 

“Pity,” Shane teases, even though he has no interest in doing anything right now. 

Elliott walks to him, and leans over the bed to kiss him. Shane kisses him back softly. It’s a sweet kiss, nothing more than that. “Love you,” Elliott says between kisses before pulling back, smiling.

“Love you too,” Shane says. “Have a good day. Text me when you can, yeah?”

“Always,” Elliott says with a wink. He grabs the rest of his things and heads out of the room. 

Shane waits until he knows he’s gone before he gets out of bed— he is definitely not falling back asleep now, even though he barely got any sleep. He’s still in Elliott’s sweatpants and no shirt as he makes his way to the washroom. 

He goes back to their room and changes into some workout gear, hoping Ilya won’t mind him using his gym downstairs. He does a light jog on the treadmill for half an hour before moving on to weights, focusing on his arms and back today. 

Shane is listening to music in his earphones so he doesn’t hear Ilya come in the room until he spots him watching him. 

“Jesus,” he curses, stopping his music. 

“You are easily frightened,” Ilya comments, still standing in the open doorway. He’s shirtless and wearing black sweatpants low on his hips. He has a trail of hair going from the bottom of his belly button down below his pants and Shane wants to see how far it goes.

“I’m not,” Shane says back, sitting back up on the bench. “You’re just sneaky.” 

He lifts his shirt up to wipe the sweat from his face before meeting Ilya’s gaze— his very intense and incredibly hot gaze. 

“Um—” Shane stutters. “I hope it’s okay that I’m using your gym.” 

“Is okay,” Ilya tells him simply with a half shrug. 

“Did I wake you?” Shane asks, feeling bad now, it must still be early.

Ilya smiles softly. “I heard grunting, wanted to be sure you two weren’t fucking in here,” he teases.

Shane’s thankful he’s already flushed from his workout because he feels even hotter right now. “We wouldn’t do that,” he tells him.

“No?” Ilya asks, assessing him. When Shane shakes his head, Ilya smirks, “You are shy to talk about sex.” 

Right on cue, Shane blushes which makes Ilya smile widely like he won something. “I’m not,” he says but he’s not even convincing himself with that.

“Right,” Ilya nods. “Is okay to be shy— is very cute.”

Did he just call him cute? No, he definitely didn’t. Right?

Shane shakes his head and the inappropriate thoughts away. “Did you want to work out?” he asks him instead.

“Hmm, no,” Ilya hums. “Maybe after. I was just enjoying the view,” he adds with that damn little quirk of his lips. 

Shane scoffs. “Shut up,” he says, feeling the heat in his chest again. 

He chances another glance at Ilya who’s now fully smiling, still watching him like he’s the most interesting person he’s ever met. 

“You do not take compliments well,” Ilya tells him. He doesn’t ask, he tells him, like he already knows everything about Shane. 

“Are you complimenting me?” 

Ilya's eyebrow raises as he asks, “Yes, is that not obvious?” 

“I—“ he stutters, unsure what to even say. 

Was it obvious that Ilya was complimenting him? He’s probably fucking with Shane. No way he’s being serious. Elliott has said Ilya’s kind of an asshole and knows he’s an asshole—  but that he’s a great friend when you get to know him.  

Ilya’s still waiting for him to say something, anything. Shane snaps out of the mental fog he found himself in and laughs it off, “Stop fucking with me,” he says as he gets up from the bench and walks towards him since he’s standing in the doorway. 

Ilya stands tall in the doorway as Shane approaches, like he’s getting ready for something. Shane reaches him and says, “I’m gonna go make a smoothie. You want one?”

That damn half smile is back as Ilya looks at him, now much closer than they’ve been yet. “Nope,” he says, popping the p. 

“You sure? It’s healthy,” Shane says teasingly. 

“I’m sure,” Ilya tells him, his eyes going to Shane’s lips before they take an agonizingly long time to reach his eyes. 

“Your loss,” Shane says almost breathlessly. 

The look Ilya gives Shane sends chills down his spine— and not in a bad way. Or maybe it is bad. Fuck. Before Ilya could say anything, Shane steps around him, his body brushing against Ilya’s side, but he manages to step out of the gym and make his way to the kitchen.

Thankfully Ilya doesn’t follow him, instead Shane can hear that he went upstairs and into the shower. Shane smirks at the thought of what Ilya could be doing in there.

He’s only showering, he just got up, it’s not about you.

Shane makes his smoothie with all the ingredients Elliott must have bought for him ahead of time. He decides to take a selfie with the smoothie and sends the picture to his boyfriend. 

Shane

*Selfie with smoothie in cup*

Thank you for getting everything I needed ❤️

Elliott

No problem ❤️

He pockets his phone, sitting at the table to drink his smoothie while Ilya showers. When he can hear him go into his room, Shane runs up to his room to grab his robe and a towel from the small linen closet and takes a shower next.

Shane does his absolute best to not think about Ilya and how he was just in this shower before him. His perfectly sculpted body was naked in here, doing God knows what…

Shane’s cock twitches to life. Fuck. 

He shakes the thoughts out of his head and finishes showering quickly, actively ignoring the way his cock is demanding attention. When he’s done showering, he wraps himself in his robe, depositing his towel in the hamper next to the laundry machines, and steps out of the washroom just as Ilya is stepping out of his bedroom. He’s in a high-neck dark grey tank top and black Adidas track pants. 

Ilya smiles when he sees Shane and says, “Nice robe,” before he walks towards the stairs, heading back down. Shane shakes his head and goes back to his room.

Shane huffs as he sits on the bed.

He needs a plan. 

*

Ilya nearly lost his mind seeing Shane working out in his gym. He couldn’t help but lean against the doorframe to just watch him. He was caught of course and he did his best to not flirt with his friend and roommate’s boyfriend. He just can’t help it when Shane looks that good and is just so cute and oblivious to his big fat crush on him.

Feeling his body graze his side as he walked by him, Ilya’s skin was on fire. He immediately needed to take a cold shower but that didn’t happen and well— something else did happen.

He made himself some coffee while Shane changed in his room. As he steps out of the kitchen with a mug in hand, he sees Shane at the door getting his boots on. He’s wearing dark jeans and a blue button down shirt with his winter coat on over but not zipped up yet.

“Where are you off to?” Ilya asks him, walking to the living room to sit on the sofa as he watches Shane get dressed for the cold. 

“Need to find a job,” he tells him without looking at him. He has his boots on so he stands back up and zips his coat. He picks up a folder that he had left on the stairs and says, “See you,” before he’s out the door and Ilya’s left alone.

Ilya hoped he’d be able to spend some time with Shane but it’s probably better that they don’t. So he spends his day like he usually does before he has to get to the bar. He has his coffee, works out in his gym, showers again, makes himself some breakfast and eats it as he scrolls on social media, then he spends the majority of the afternoon with his camera and looks to see if he can find any photography jobs online. Winter isn’t usually busy for him as a photographer though, he gets more jobs when it’s nice out. 

Ilya’s making dinner when he hears the front door open. He already knows it’s Shane and it sends heat pooling inside of him. 

“Smells good,” Shane says as he walks into the kitchen. 

Ilya turns his head over his shoulder to see Shane pulling a chair to sit at the table. He smiles at him and says, “Thanks, there’s enough if you are hungry.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Shane says before huffing out something about not eating today.

“You must eat to stay big and strong,” Ilya winks at him before getting back to the salmon he’s cooking with asparagus. He eats healthy sometimes but he knows that Shane is very strict with what he eats, according to Elliott, so Ilya wanted to make something he knew he would definitely eat. 

Shane lets out a soft laugh, “Yeah.” 

“How did the job search go?” Ilya asks as he turns the stove off, and turns to look at Shane.

Shane groans. “Fine, I guess, I don’t know. No one seemed that interested but I was told I would get a call if there’s a position to fill,” he tells him.

“You will find something,” Ilya tells him. 

He grabs two plates from the cabinet and puts some salmon and asparagus onto both plates with a bit of brown rice he also made, then brings them over to the table, setting one in front of Shane. He grabs a can of coke for himself out of the fridge and grabs a ginger ale for Shane. He puts the can in front of Shane and then sits across from him, opening his can of coke. 

Shane looks at the ginger ale in front of him, smiling softly, it causes Ilya’s heart to beat faster. “Thanks,” Shane says, meeting his gaze. 

Ilya smiles back before looking at his plate and digging in. He notices Shane do the same after a moment. They mostly eat in silence and Ilya kind of wishes they’d gone into the living room, he could have put on a hockey game for them to watch. 

“You’re working tonight?” Shane asks him, breaking the silence. 

Ilya looks up at him and hums around some food in his mouth, “Mhmm,” as he nods. He swallows and without thinking too much about it says, “You should come with me.”

He can see Shane start to buffer in real time before he asks, “What?” 

“I work at a bar ten minutes away,” Ilya tells him, unsure what Shane does know about him from Elliott. 

“I know,” Shane chimes in.

“You can come hang out, have a drink,” Ilya shrugs, hoping none of this is coming off as desperate as he feels. “Is a fun bar, cool people,” he says with a smirk before adding, “Very fluid.”

“Oh,” Shane says simply and Ilya’s chest squeezes with how fucking adorable Shane is. “That’s cool, uh— I don’t…“

“What? You can’t go to bar without your boyfriend?” Ilya teases but is actually curious about the answer. He knows he’s pushing his limits, maybe being an asshole, but he wants to see what he can get away with when it comes to Shane. He hates how much he’s crushed on him just through pictures for so long and now that he’s living with him, he’s liking him even more than he’s ever liked anyone, and that’d be a good thing if he wasn’t in a relationship with his friend. 

Shane furrows his brows, he looks like an angry kitten— it’s so cute. “I can, that’s not—“ he says, like he’s trying to find the right words to use.

“Not what?” Ilya probes, until something clicks. He stuttered after he said fluid. “You do not want to be around fluid people?” he asks, looking at him, trying to understand him.

“I’m in a relationship, Rozanov, hello?” Shane says and ouch, that stung more than he expected it to. “I’m not gonna hang out at a bar and try to meet other guys, or whatever.”

“You are how you say— only one person?” Ilya asks.

“Monogamous,” Shane supplies, and Ilya nods. “Yeah, I uh, I’ve never had a casual hookup. It’s not really for me,” he tells him. He’s shy and Ilya’s so enamored by him. 

“Ah,” Ilya says simply. Shane is the relationship type and Ilya’s never been in a relationship before. He’s going to be twenty-six in June and he’s never had a serious relationship with anyone. The closest thing to a relationship that he has is his friendship with Svetlana but neither of them wants to seriously be with the other. They’re just friends who like to fuck sometimes. 

“I’m guessing that’s not really your thing— relationships,” Shane says and that also kind of hurts. 

He wishes he knew what Elliott has told Shane about him. Maybe he’ll ask one day. 

“Mmm, I don’t know,” Ilya hums, sitting back in his chair, finished with his food. “Maybe not. I never tried it,” he adds.

Shane nods like he’s storing that information away and it makes Ilya a little bit nervous. “But anyway,” Ilya says, leaning forward again. “You should come with me. You will like it, even if all you drink is ginger ale and don’t flirt with anyone,” he adds before getting up and taking his plate and Shane’s over to the sink, needing to busy himself. 

“Okay,” Shane says and Ilya’s glad to have his back to him so he doesn’t see the big smile that takes over his face. He leaves a small smile on his face as he turns to look at Shane. “When do we leave?” 

Ilya’s smile widens as he lets out a soft laugh. “I start at eight,” he tells him, turning back to the sink and washing their plates. 

He turns back around, leans against the sink, and fishes his phone out of his pocket to see the time. They’ve got about an hour before he needs to get changed and go. “Want to play hockey?” he asks Shane, smirking.

Ilya nods for Shane to follow him as he makes his way out to the living room. He sets up the PlayStation with the NHL video game inside. Shane sits on the sofa and when Ilya’s done he walks over to sit next to him, handing him one of the two controllers he has. 

They spend the next fifty minutes playing against each other— naturally Shane picked Montreal and Ilya chose Boston. Shane won the first game and Ilya the second before they had to stop, and Shane told him they should play again one day to see who the true winner is. Ilya likes how competitive Shane is— it’s really attractive.

Ilya changed into his dark jeans and a black t-shirt— basically his uniform, apart from the security jacket he puts on at the bar. Shane also changed but just his shirt, he left his jeans on but he now has on a white t-shirt and Ilya has to stop himself from moaning at the sight. He can almost see his pecs and nipples through them and it’s driving him insane. He puts on a black bomber jacket over his shirt as he steps out of his bedroom. Ilya can smell his cologne and he can feel himself bite his lower lip. He ushers for Shane to go down first before they’re putting their boots and winter jackets on before heading out the door.

They walk over to the garage that’s detached from the house and watch as Ilya punches in the code to open the door. It opens and the two walk in. There’s two cars inside— an SUV that’s good in the snow and a fancy car that Shane’s not going to pretend like he knows what any of it means. Now he knows why Elliott parks on the right side of the driveway and why Shane has to find street parking. 

Ilya opens the car door for Shane who smiles softly, cheeks pink from the cold, before getting in. Ilya walks to his side and gets in quickly. It’s a quick drive to the bar before he’s parking in the lot behind the bar. They head inside and Ilya does something risky and puts his hand on Shane’s lower back as he ushers him through the bar. 

He can’t feel much through his jacket but he knows that Shane can feel his hand because he looks right into his eyes when his hand makes contact with him before looking away. 

Shane Hollander is going to murder him. 

*

Shane follows Ilya to the bar all the while trying not to melt into his hand that’s on his lower back right now. 

“Sit here,” Ilya tells him when they reach a stool by the end of the bar. “Hand me your jacket, I will put it in my employee room with mine,” he adds.

Shane takes his coat off and hands it to Ilya before settling on the stool. A woman walks over to them from behind the bar and smiles at them both before looking at Ilya and saying, “Hey, who’s the new guy?” Then looks at Shane and adds, “You’re cute.”

Shane blushes, letting out a soft laugh. Ilya says, “This is Shane, he is super gay.”

“Shame,” the woman says as Shane scoffs and adds, “I’m regular gay but yes, hi, I’m Shane Hollander.”

“Hi Shane Hollander, I’m Rose Landry,” she says, sticking her hand out to him, which he shakes. “How do you know Roz?” 

Roz and Rose, he thinks, that’s cute. He wonders if Ilya slept with her. 

“My boyfriend is his roommate,” Shane tells her. 

“Oh, you’re the boyfriend!” she exclaims.

“I’ll be back,” Ilya says before disappearing past a door marked Employees Only.

“So what can I get you?” Rose asks him, pulling his eyes back to her. 

“Uh— just a ginger ale, not much ice, please,” he tells her. 

“You got it,” she says. 

Shane looks around the bar. It’s not very big but it’s cute and very inviting. He can see the entrance of the bar from where he’s sitting. The bar takes up most of the back wall and off to his left is the employee section he saw Ilya go through. 

When you walk into the bar, on the left is a small stage with four people setting up their equipment— he notices the drum set and some guitars and mic stands. 

Between the stage and where the bar begins, there’s what looks like the kitchen. There are tables scattered everywhere in the space apart from a section to the right of the entrance where there’s a few booths and the washrooms. There’s good music playing on the speakers and just a few empty tables remain and a few stools at the bar. 

Rose sets the ginger ale in front of him. He thanks her and takes a sip before he notices Ilya walking back towards him wearing a black jacket over his t-shirt that he didn’t have before. He leans on the bar next to him, way too close to him, and smiles softly at the drink in his hand before meeting his eye. 

“There is a live band starting at nine for maybe one hour then there is a DJ, it will get quite busy so I will be at the door but you will be good here with Rose,” Ilya tells him. “Is okay?”

Shane can’t help but think how sweet it is of Ilya to make sure he’s okay. “Yeah, I’m good,” he says with a soft smile. 

“Ok,” he says simply before walking towards the entrance and Shane can see the giant SECURITY across his back. 

Why’s that so hot?

After almost half an hour, Shane notices three men walk in and say hi to Ilya like they know him well before sitting at one of the only empty tables near where Shane is sitting at the bar. One of the guys comes to the bar, leaning on it next to him, and saying hi to Rose. 

“Hayden, shouldn’t you— I don’t know— maybe be home with your pregnant wife and not out with the boys?” Rose asks but there’s no malice in her voice, more like he’s an annoying brother or something.

“Rose, oh sweet Rose,” Hayden says back, shaking his head. “I’m going to be a father to twins. Twins! And they’re girls! I need to go out with my good pals, have some beer, listen to some cool music, and not stress about the fact that I will have two children to take care of very soon, so can I just get a pitcher for the table and some cups? You’re a doll,” he tells her.

Shane can’t help but chuckle beside him getting Hayden’s eyes on him. “Hayden, that’s Elliott’s boyfriend, Shane. Shane, this is Hayden, the man who married my best friend, Jackie,” she introduces them.

“Hey, uh— Shane Hollander,” he says, shaking his hand. 

“Hayden Pike,” he says back, as they shake hands. Before he lets go he says, “Great to meet you in person, man, heard a lot about you.”

“Oh yeah?” Shane asks. 

Hayden smirks at him then looks to Rose who tells him to pay her. He does, then he says to Shane, “Hey, you should sit with us.”

“Uh—” he stutters, looking at Rose who isn’t shooting signs not to, so he says, “Yeah, only if you’re sure.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” Hayden says. “One more glass for Shane, please,” he tells Rose who puts another glass down on the bar. Shane grabs two of the glasses as Hayden grabs the pitcher and two glasses over to his table. 

Shane joins them while Hayden says, “This is Shane, he’s Brooks’ boyfriend. Shane, this is Wyatt and JJ.”

“Nice to meet you both,” Shane says, sitting down in the empty chair next to Hayden. JJ is across from him and Wyatt across from Hayden. 

“No shit,” JJ says in a thick Quebecois accent that Shane would recognize anywhere. “It’s nice to finally meet you, man. I went to high school with Elliott.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Shane says, remembering now. JJ grew up in Montreal and went to school with Elliott but when Elliott started his studies to become a doctor, JJ moved around a lot and ended up in Boston a few years ago working as a kids hockey coach. 

“I only just met Brooks when he moved here, my buddy is his roommate,” Wyatt tells him. “But he seems like a good dude,” he adds, making Shane chuckle. 

“When I moved here, Brooks told me to connect with his old friend, Rozanov, actually, that’s how I know these two guys,” JJ adds, smiling. 

Elliott got his friends connected enough that they became good friends, that’s really sweet. God, Shane feels terrible for ogling his friend the past twenty-four hours.

“How do you know Rozanov?” Shane asks Wyatt. 

“I used to work with Svetlana until she opened up her own dealership and now I work for her,” Wyatt tells him then sees the confused look on Shane’s face. “I sell cars with Rozy’s girl.”

His what?

Hayden laughs. “Svetlana is not Rozanov’s girl. She’s way too good for him. They’re just friends,” he clarifies, and Shane doesn’t know why but that makes him feel relieved until—

“Friends who fuck,” Wyatt adds and makes a lewd noise making JJ smack him as all the men laugh— except Shane. 

Shane doesn’t know why he feels disappointed by this information. Ilya just told him he’s never been in a relationship before, it shouldn't be surprising that he has friends with benefits. 

It doesn’t surprise him but he doesn't like the information either. And he really doesn’t like that he doesn’t like it or has any sort of feelings about it to begin with. 

“Anyway,” Hayden brings Shane back to the conversation. “I met Rozanov through Wyatt since we grew up together and he started to bring Roz around. I just had to start tolerating him. So that’s how I know Brooks. Oh— then Rose started working here too, she’s my wife, Jackie’s best friend.” 

“That’s nice, that you guys have each other. I don’t really have a close group of friends,” Shane tells them, feeling kind of like a loser right now. He moved to a new city, in a new country, not knowing anyone but his boyfriend. 

“You’re in this one now, buddy,” Hayden tells him, lifting his glass that he had filled with beer and nods to another full glass. Shane picks it up and clinks their glasses together before taking a sip. He doesn’t really like beer but hey, he just got three new friends— four if he can count Rose which he hopes he can, she seems genuine and he needs friends like that. 

Shane looks just over JJ’s shoulder and makes eye contact with Ilya who smiles at him softly. The door beside him opens and he looks away from Shane to check who walked in, nodding to let them know they can come in. Ilya looks back at Shane like he didn’t expect to see that Shane was still looking his way. 

Shane looks down at his beer and takes a sip. His eyes make contact with Ilya’s again before he puts his glass back down and focuses on the conversation. 

That lasts about five minutes before the band starts playing. Shane turns his chair slightly so he can watch the band perform but not enough that he can’t join the conversations that continue to happen.

After the band finishes and gets all their equipment put away, a DJ sets up on the stage. Some people start getting up to come dance near the stage once the DJ’s playing. There’s some space that was left between the stage and where the tables start. The table he’s sitting at is right where that space ends so he can see people dancing next to him. 

He’s back to trying to lock into the conversation with the guys but with the loud music it’s too hard for him to focus. He excuses himself and walks over to Rose at the bar. 

“Hi honey!” Rose greets him, bouncing over to him around her coworker who has since joined her behind the bar. He’s a dark skinned man with beautiful eyes and what looks like a great body to add since he’s only in a white tank top. “How’s it going with the guys? You having fun?” she asks him.

“Yeah, they’re great,” he smiles. “Can I get another ginger ale?” 

“Sure.” 

She gets him the ginger ale, setting it in front of him. He goes to take money out of his wallet when she dismisses him. 

Her coworker walks over to them, leaning on the bar next to Rose, his arm on the bar near where Shane has his arm on the bar. “Hi there,” he says, “You’re new.”

Shane chuckles as Rose says, “Shane, this is my coworker and good friend, Miles. Shane here is Elliott’s boyfriend.”

“Oh, the almost doctor? Boo, unfair,” Miles pouts, and it makes Shane blush. 

“He just moved here,” Rose mentions.

“Yeah, yesterday,” he tells them. “Oh and if you know anywhere that’s hiring, I need a job.” 

Rose and Miles look at each other before looking at Shane with matching smiles. Um…

“You could work here,” Rose says. “Artie— the owner— he’s looking to hire another bartender since this one—“ she shoots her glance to Miles as she continues, “—is cutting down on hours to shoot for some movie.” 

“That’s awesome, congrats,” Shane tells him.

“Thank you,” Miles smiles, putting his hands on Shane’s before pulling them away. “But yes, yeah you should totally work here. We can put in a good word with Artie.” 

Miles notices someone calling for him so he goes to the customer and Rose says, “Let’s exchange numbers. I’ll give it to Artie and he’ll call you for an interview.”

“That would be amazing, thanks,” Shane says. He hands Rose his phone where she adds herself to his contacts, texting herself so she has his number. 

“Oh, your man’s texting you,” Rose says, handing him back her phone.

Shane takes his phone and opens the new text from Elliott.

Elliott

Are you still awake? I just finished up and on my way home 

Shane 

I’m actually at the bar Ilya works at

Elliott

I’ll come get you and we can head home, yeah?

Oh. Right. Well yeah, of course he should have his boyfriend come pick him up so they can go home together. He can’t possibly stay here until Ilya finishes work. He would have had to figure out a way to get home. The thing is, he didn’t even realize the time. He was having a great time. He met new people— new friends. He’s so glad Ilya suggested he come with him. 

Shane gets a pit of guilt in his stomach and focuses back onto his texts.

Shane

Yeah

Elliott 

I’ll be there in like ten minutes 

Shane asks Rose if she could check for his jacket. She returns with it, she said Ilya hung it up under his own. 

He hugs her goodbye and heads back to the guys table. He tells them Elliott’s on his way to pick him up but that they should exchange numbers.

Hayden takes his number and creates a group chat for the four of them, giving JJ and Wyatt his number as well. He says goodbye and heads for the door— for Ilya.

“Hey,” Shane says, smiling. He hasn’t spoken to him since he started his shift, except for briefly after the band played, he passed by his table to grab water from the bar and asked if he was good. When Shane said yes, he nodded and went back to the door. 

“You’re leaving?” Ilya asks.

“Yeah, uh— Elliott’s on his way, he just finished up at the hospital,” Shane tells him. 

Ilya nods. “Did you have fun tonight? I saw you made new friends,” he asks.

Shane smiles. “Yeah, they were all great. You have a cool group of friends,” he tells him. 

“They are alright,” Ilya says, but he’s got that small smile on his face. 

“Rose said I might be able to get a job as a bartender here,” he tells him. “Miles is going to be in a movie.”

“Ah,” Ilya says. “He wants to be a big movie star,” he chuckles. “He is good, maybe he will become one. You want to be bartender?” he questions, brows furrowed. 

“Not really, I don’t even drink all that much let alone know how to make them but I need to find a job,” Shane tells him.

“I can help you,” Ilya offers. 

“Help me?” 

“Help you learn to make drinks, get you ready to get the job,” Ilya tells him.

“Really?” 

Ilya smiles softly, “Yes, really,” he says.

Shane’s phone buzzes. 

Elliott

Here

He looks back up at Ilya and says, “Thanks,” he smiles. “And thanks for bringing me tonight. I had a good time,” he adds.

Ilya opens the door for him and says, “Goodnight, Hollander.”

“Goodnight, Rozanov,” Shane says, before walking outside and over to Elliott’s car.

He kisses him quickly on the lips before settling into his seat. Elliott asks him about his day so he gives him a brief version. “Ah so you met all of Roz’s friends,” Elliott says, glancing at him quickly before looking back at the road.

“Are they not your friends too? JJ?” Shane questions.

“Well, yeah, sure. I guess I'm just not as close to them as Roz is,” he tells him. “I don’t go meet them for drinks there often.”

Shane hums before Elliott starts talking about work until they pull into the driveway. They get out of the car and walk over to the front door, heading inside.

They get themselves ready for bed— Shane changing in their room as Elliott showers. Shane heads in there while he’s finishing up to do his skin care routine and brush his teeth before heading to bed. 

Shane picks up his phone and sees new messages in the group chat he got added to tonight

Squad Goals

11:14pm

857-715-4198

Welcome to the squad, Hollander

857-226-2481 has been added to the chat

857-715-4198

Everyone say who you are so Shane knows. This is Hayden btw!

857-206-1992

Wyatt

857-413-1917

JJ

857-226-2481

Ilya

Shane clicks where he can see all the members and then adds each one to his contacts putting the right name to the corresponding number, and he notes that Ilya was added in after Hayden made the chat. He wonders who chose to add him to the chat or if Ilya wanted to join. 

No, how would he even know they made a chat? Wyatt probably added him because they’re good friends. 

He goes back to the chat and sees more messages.

Ilya

Horrible group chat name, Pike

Hayden

Fuck off, Rozanov, who even added you

Wyatt

He wanted in it so bad just to fuck with you I think

Hayden

Typical, he’s obsessed with me

Ilya

You wish

So Ilya asked to join the chat. Interesting. 

Elliott climbs into bed beside him so Shane closes the chat and puts his phone down on the bedside table, face down, before closing the lamp.  

Elliott pulls Shane into his arms so he could spoon him from behind, curling up around him and humming softly by his ear. “Night babe,” he says softly.

“Night,” he says back softly.

Shane realizes it’s a problem that he’s relieved that Elliott’s seemingly too tired to have sex tonight. 

What the fuck is he going to do?

*

The next day, Shane speaks to Artie— the owner of the bar. He tells Shane to enroll in a bartending class and that if he passes he’ll get his bartending license within the week and could come by as early as next Sunday for his first shift. Sundays aren’t too busy so he thinks it’ll be an easy test run to determine if it’s a good fit for everyone.

He looks up bartending classes and sees that in-person ones could cost about a thousand dollars. Shane does not have that much money to take a course. He scrolls more and sees that he can do it online for a lot cheaper— around a couple hundred dollars. It says he needs to complete up to forty hours of study before he could get his licence. 

“You wear glasses?” he hears Ilya ask so he turns away from his laptop to see his roommate walking into the living room. He’s wearing a Boston Raiders t-shirt and loose black, basketball shorts. 

He looks away before he’s caught staring as Ilya comes around the coffee table to sit next to him on the couch, not close enough to touch though.

“Yeah, sometimes,” he says, going back to his laptop. 

“I like them,” Ilya says, making Shane look at him again. Ilya’s smiling at him in a way that makes heat pool inside of him. He then asks, “What are you doing?”

“I need to get my bartending license to start working at The Trophy Room so I’m doing my research,” Shane tells him, eyes back on the screen.

“I told you I could help you,” Ilya says.

Shane looks at him again, seeing his confused face. He remembered Ilya offering and hoped he was sincere about it because he absolutely does still need his help. He smiles softly then says, “I still need your help. I’m going to do an online class but I need to practice so whenever you’re free we can—“

“We can start today, unless you have plans…” Ilya asks, looking around a bit before his eyes land back on his. 

“No. I mean— I don’t have plans. Um, Elliott already left, he has a lot of school work and went to a library,” Shane tells him. “I’ll just book this course and then maybe we can go pick up some liquor to practice.”

“Yes, ok,” Ilya smiles, “I have mainly vodka here,” he says with a chuckle.

Shane smiles softly, before looking back to his laptop. He books the course then heads back to his room to put his laptop and glasses away and put a hoodie over his dark blue t-shirt. 

He and Ilya are heading to the liquor store to buy what’s on his list on his phone. Shane’s excited to learn how to make cocktails, which is something he never thought he’d feel, but it’s something that’ll occupy his time and make him some money. Hopefully he can make good tips. He’s attractive enough to have gotten a handsome boyfriend and sometimes get hit on by good looking people. With The Trophy Room being a queer bar, he hopes that’ll help him gain more tips. 

He needs to make some money to help pay to live at Ilya’s. He’s not charging either of them rent but they are helping pay certain bills like electricity and wifi, and groceries. And he just has his own bills to pay and with Elliott not being able to get an actual job while he’s doing his residency so he’s been helping him out where he can. 

Shane spends the afternoon getting his own private lesson with Ilya on how to make certain cocktails. He doesn’t actually have a bartending license but he knows how to make a lot of different drinks. He’ll start his online course tomorrow but today he’s having fun learning from Ilya.

They do stop when the Boston versus New York game comes on and the two hang out watching the game and eating pizza and wings that they had delivered. Shane will definitely need to work this all off tomorrow. 

Elliott comes home at some point, leaning in to kiss Shane softly on the lips before grabbing a slice of pizza and laying out on the L part of the sectional, to Shane’s right. Ilya’s still sitting on his other side, closer now that their legs have been touching ever since they started eating. 

The game is still on when Elliott gets up to go shower and get in bed since he’s drained and works tomorrow starting at seven thirty, leaving Shane and Ilya alone again. He teases Ilya any time New York scores or Boston misses a goal. Shane’s team is the Montreal Metros who have a long history of being rivals against Boston. So it’s not that he wants New York to win, he just kind of rather see Boston lose.

Boston wins, which makes Ilya very happy and even sticks his tongue out to Shane. The game ends just around ten o’clock but neither of them make a move to leave the couch. All Ilya does is lower the volume on the TV. 

“So,” Ilya says, not too loudly, looking at Shane who had moved into the corner of the sectional, legs laid out in front of him. Ilya had taken the rest of the couch, sitting in the corner with his legs up on the sofa as well, almost reaching Shane’s hip. Shane looks at him when he continues, “Tell me about yourself, Hollander.”

Shane’s taken aback by that. “Wh— what do you want to know?” he asks because he has no idea where to start.

“I don’t know,” Ilya says before adding, “I don’t really know anything.”

He doesn’t really know anything? So his own boyfriend hasn’t talked about him to his friend and roommate? That hurts. Don’t people who are in love usually talk about their partners? 

“Um, Elliott never— he didn’t talk about me to you?” Shane asks, brows furrowed.

“I did not mean—” Ilya backtracks, probably to protect his friend. 

“It’s fine,” Shane dismisses. He doesn’t want to talk about how his boyfriend hasn’t told his friend anything about him other than what— that he’s going to move his whole life for him and oh, can he live here too? Shane’s starting to get upset by this.

“Hey,” Ilya says, bringing his eyes back to Ilya. “I did not mean to upset you,” he tells him.

“You didn’t,” Shane tells him. “I’m fine.” He shakes his head and smiles at Ilya softly. “So, I guess my life kind of starts with hockey.”

Shane finds himself staying up until midnight talking to Ilya on the couch, getting to know each other. It’s all still pretty surface level stuff, a little backstory but nothing too deep about Ilya’s family and nothing too deep when it comes to Shane’s feelings about not being able to go pro. 

When Shane yawns for the fifth time and gets lower into the couch, Ilya says, “You should go to bed, sleepyhead.”

Shane’s eyes are closed and he smiles at being called sleepyhead. “That was cute,” he mumbles, as he slowly opens his eyes, looking over at Ilya who is looking at him with very soft eyes. “I probably should,” Shane tells him before he slowly sits up. He looks at Ilya who hasn’t moved. “You staying here?” he asks him.

“For now, yes,” Ilya tells him. Shane nods as Ilya adds with a small smile, “Goodnight, Hollander.”

“Goodnight, Rozanov,” Shane smiles back before getting up and walking by him to head towards the stairs. 

Shane falls asleep that night thinking about the great day he spent with Ilya and not about how annoyed he is by his boyfriend sleeping soundly beside him. 

*

Ilya spends as much time over the next week helping Shane practice making cocktails before he has to go in on Friday to take his final test to get his bartending license. When he’s not helping Shane or hanging out with him watching hockey, Shane is with Elliott when he’s not at the hospital. When he’s with him, Ilya takes his camera and drives. He finds places where he could take some cool photos. Everything is covered in snow but there’s a beauty there that he can capture.

He also points his camera at Shane throughout the week while they’re at home. Shane doesn’t always realize Ilya is taking shots of him. He catches him once and tells him not to take photos of him because he’s not photogenic. 

“Uh, yes, you are,” Ilya said back. “Come see,” he had added. When Shane walked over, he showed him the photo he took of him and how beautiful he looked. He saw a blush spread on his cheeks but he didn’t say anything more. Ilya hoped that meant he was allowed to keep taking photos of him because he’s his favorite thing to shoot. 

Once Shane leaves to go take his test, Ilya realizes that he spent all his free time this week with Shane and even dodged Svetlana a couple times so that he could just hang out with Shane. He also realizes that he hasn’t had sex since before Shane moved in. This is not like Ilya and he knows it’s all because of a boy with beautiful freckles who occupies the majority of his thoughts in a day.

Shane gets home before Ilya has to leave for work at The Trophy Room and he shows him the bartending certificate he just got with his name on it. He congratulates him and resists the urge to hug him. Elliott does instead since he’s there too when Shane tells them the news. Ilya smiles at Shane briefly while he’s hugging Elliott and then walks away, heading to his room. He doesn’t  have to leave just yet but he thinks it might be a good time so he makes sure he’s ready before saying goodbye and heading out the door. He drives to the bar but spends twenty minutes smoking cigarettes in his car because it’s too cold out. 

Ilya goes inside and once he’s got his SECURITY jacket on, he walks back over to the bar where Rose waves him over. They talk about how Shane passed— he had texted her— and she tells him that him and Elliott are coming in for a celebratory drink and that the guys— JJ, Wyatt, Hayden and even Jackie are coming by. Apparently Jackie desperately wants to meet him so she’s willing to subject herself to a bunch of drunk people to make that happen. 

Great, Ilya’s going to have to stay by the door all night and see Elliott and Shane be all over each other as a couple celebrating his new job. Just what Ilya wanted to do tonight…

When they do arrive, Ilya sees that Shane is wearing a brown t-shirt that looks a tad too big for him and dark jeans. He looks really fucking good. Ilya tells him as much when Elliott walks in ahead of him and can’t hear him. 

“You look good,” he says softly for Shane’s ears only.

Shane blushes, making Ilya smile wider. “Thanks,” he says, shyly.

He follows Elliott inside and joins him at the table that Hayden and Jackie are already sitting at— JJ and Wyatt showing up together ten minutes later and joining them. Rose brings over two pitchers of beer for their table and some glasses. Ilya tries to focus on his job but it’s hard when his eyes constantly seek out Shane.

The live band plays and he can see Elliott’s arm over Shane’s shoulders, holding him close to him, kissing the side of his head. He feels a huge lump sitting in his chest watching the two of them so he watches the band instead. 

Thankfully they don’t stay long and Ilya can get back to his job without constantly glancing over and seeing Elliott all over Shane. He decides that it’s probably a good idea for him to try and move on from this crush on Shane. It’s not healthy for him to crush on his roommate who’s dating his other roommate and that happens to be his friend. 

Ilya picks up some blonde woman at the bar and takes her home with him after work. He fucks her and tries to keep her quiet, telling her he has roommates but she doesn’t seem to care, and at this point, Ilya shouldn’t either. Maybe Shane will hear and have thoughts on it. 

No, fuck, stop thinking about Shane, this isn’t about him. It can’t be. He has to move on.

When they’re both done, she gets dressed—  he can’t even remember her name because he could only think of one the entire time and it’s not hers. He walks her to the door and watches her walk to her Uber before he closes the door and goes to the kitchen. He’s in just sweatpants as he sits in a chair, cracking the back door open a bit and settles in to smoke a cigarette, blowing the smoke outside without actually going out in the cold. He even lit a candle for good measure. He sips a beer and smokes his cigarette, enjoying the quiet until— 

“You shouldn’t smoke,” Shane says, now in the kitchen with him, standing by the fridge. 

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” Ilya asks, eyeing him up and down. He’s in Elliott’s McGill sweatpants again and a black t-shirt. He looks so cute and cozy but the pants make him irrationally annoyed. 

Shane scoffs. “Right, like I can sleep with the noises coming from your room…” he rolls his eyes before opening the fridge and pouring himself a glass of water.

“Oh so you were listening,” Ilya teases, before blowing smoke out of his mouth. 

Shane looks like an angry kitten and it’s annoyingly cute. “Against my will,” he shoots back.

“Would you have enjoyed it more if I was fucking another man?” he pushes, finding himself wanting to see how far he can go with Shane. 

Shane scoffs again. “Fuck whoever you want,” he tells him.

“Oh, I do,” Ilya says back quickly.

“Whatever,” Shane mumbles, turning to leave but Ilya stops him with, “What do you care? You have a boyfriend, hmm?” 

Shane looks at him, angry kitten face still intact. “You’re right, I don’t care. I’m gonna get back to my boyfriend,” he shoots back before walking away. 

“Fuck,” he mutters, putting out his finished cigarette. He lights another, hoping to kill the feeling inside of him that makes him want to crawl out of his skin. 

*

Shane spends his Saturday with Elliott exploring what they can of the city since it is still February and quite cold out. He doesn’t see Ilya much, just briefly in the morning but Elliott was in the room with them so they didn’t talk about the night before. 

Shane hates that he’s annoyed with what happened. He shouldn’t care who Ilya fucks, but he knows that he does— and that he has to fucking hear every second of it. Could the walls be any fucking thinner in this house?

When they get back home, Ilya’s already at work. Shane and Elliott cuddle on the sofa and watch a movie. Elliott falls asleep like he usually does when it’s Shane’s turn to pick.

Shane lets him sleep and tries to focus on the movie but all he can think about is this weird fascination he has with Ilya. That’s what he’s calling it because anything else feels inappropriate given he’s in a relationship with his friend who’s sleeping with his feet in Shane’s lap right now.

When the credits start to roll, Shane realizes that he was not paying attention to it at all, his mind completely elsewhere. He gently wakes Elliott, getting them both to bed.

He’s able to fall asleep until Ilya gets home and he can hear two sets of footsteps making their way to his room. 

Fucking great, this again. What drunk girl from the bar did he bring home tonight? Shane just hopes she’s not loud like the girl from last night. 

He starts to hear the bed against the wall and then the sound of a moan that’s deeper than what he heard yesterday but isn’t Ilya. 

Ilya brought home a guy. 

Motherfucker. 

Shane does not want to hear Ilya fucking anyone, let alone some other guy. It shouldn’t matter to him but it does and he hates that it does. 

He tries not to listen but because he’s awake and the walls are thin and this guy isn’t any quieter than the woman from last night, he can’t help but hear them fuck. 

He mainly hears the bed creaking or hitting the wall from across the hall, and the occasional deep moan. It’s all too much yet he can’t move. If he leaves this bedroom, he’ll end up being faced by Ilya walking this guy to the door and he doesn’t want to speak to Ilya right after another conquest. 

Shane tries to bury his head in his pillow and the covers and hopes to whatever God out there that he can fall asleep.

The next few weeks of February brings Shane many shifts at the bar— most of them working the same nights as Ilya. He tries to see Elliott as much as he can but with him having crazy hours at the hospital and Shane working nights at the bar, they don’t get a whole lot of quality time.

He is getting a lot of quality time with Ilya and since that weird encounter after fucking that girl, things seemed to have settled for them. They’ve been able to actually start acting like roommates and maybe even friends. 

Working a lot of the same shifts and them taking one car has given them the time to get to know each other as friends. They also both love hockey and watch the games together so they’re spending a lot of time together. Ilya has asked him if he still plays hockey but Shane says that he doesn’t since the doctors told him it would be unlikely he could play again after his accident. Ilya didn’t say anything more so he didn’t divulge any more either. Hockey is a sensitive topic for Shane even though he loves it very much. He has no problem watching it to support his favorite team or even playing NHL video games, but to physically play again— that’s something he tries not to think about too much. 

Shane has also been hanging out with his new friends— Ilya’s friends— a lot and even got to meet Hayden and Jackie’s twin girls who are named after jewels for some reason. Shane doesn’t question it. All he does is bring over matching outfits for them and tell his friends how cute they are.

At the end of the month, he’s home alone with Ilya on a Wednesday afternoon, neither of them working, when Ilya asks if he can take him somewhere.

“Where?” Shane asks, eyeing him skeptically.

“Trust me,” Ilya smiles like he should not trust him.

“I don’t know…” Shane trails off.

“Oh my God, Hollander, you are so boring,” Ilya says but he has a small smile on his lips.

“Fine,” Shane agrees, even though he doesn’t really like surprises. 

They pull up outside of a skating rink and Shane shoots his gaze to Ilya. “What are we doing here, Rozanov?” he asks him, frowning. 

Ilya smiles and says, “What do you think, Hollander?” before opening the car door and getting out. Shane follows him out of the car and sees Ilya taking out a large duffel bag from the backseat. He follows Ilya since he has no choice and it’s too cold to stay outside. 

They get a locker to put their coats and boots away. Shane is wearing a dark blue hoodie on top of jeans because he had no idea they were going to come skating today, and Ilya is in a black hoodie and he is also in jeans, maybe to not give away where they were going. Ilya hands Shane his own skates and he looks at Ilya confused.

“I found them, figured you’d rather have your own skates instead of renting,” Ilya tells him.

“You went through my things,” Shane says, finding that this doesn’t bother him as much as it would have if it was someone else. He chooses not to think about that too hard.

“Sorry,” he says simply, smiling. He takes his own skates then locks the bag and their coats in the locker. 

Shane follows Ilya to the rink where they sit down and tie their skates. Ilya gets on the ice first, waiting for Shane to join him, reaching a hand out to help Shane. Shane takes his hand, feeling heat pooling inside of him at the touch.

Once his feet hit the ice, he’s a little off balance and Ilya’s hands are on his waist to steady him. “You good?” he asks him, waiting for Shane to find his balance. 

Shane nods, not able to speak with Ilya’s hands on his waist. Ilya lets him go and then skates away backwards, a cheeky smile on his face.

“Wait,” Shane calls out, trying to find his footing but it’s been years since he’s been on the ice. 

Ilya skates back to him and says, “You can do this. Don’t think too hard.”

Shane scoffs. “I can’t do that,” he says. 

“You can,” Ilya assures him. “You need to quiet those thoughts,” he says, touching his forehead with his index finger. “You have been skating all your life, yes?”

“Yeah,” Shane answers.

“So then skate,” Ilya says like it’s that easy.

“It’s not that simple,” Shane argues, shaking his head.

“Why not?”

“I was in a fucking accident, Rozanov,” Shane says, annoyed, but not at Ilya, more with the fact that the accident even happened. “I haven’t been on the ice in over three years,” he says after a calming breath, Ilya a bit closer than he was before. “I’m scared,” he admits before he feels Ilya’s hands on his arms, looking right at him.

“It’s scary,” he validates him and that alone makes Shane feel better. “But you’re brave,” he continues.

Shane scoffs, “Shut up.”

“You are,” he reassures him, squeezing his arms once. “And I am right here. I won’t let you fall. You are with professional hockey player,” he adds with a wink.

“Fuck off,” Shane laughs, shoving his chest and watching as Ilya skates backwards, laughing.

“C’mon, Hollander, look even children are passing you,” he teases, pointing to the kids who are skating by him easily. 

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself before taking another deep, calming breath. 

You can do this, he tells himself. 

Shane starts to skate, following Ilya as he skates backwards just a bit ahead of him so Shane can keep going to catch up. Once Shane’s feeling more comfortable on the ice again, and more confident, Ilya starts skating forward and faster, telling him to keep him. Shane does his best to keep up without hurting his leg that he had to have surgery on. 

Shane’s having more fun than he has since the accident— maybe even since before that. Skating around with Ilya is fun. He feels like himself again after not feeling like this in so long. And Ilya keeps his promise— he doesn’t once let Shane fall, even when he gets close to falling, Ilya is right there with his arms ready to catch him. 

Shane has never felt this cared for and this understood in a very long time. Ilya might have pushed this on him but he did it with good intentions and it was something Shane needed, even though he didn’t know he needed it. 

When Shane’s leg starts to ache, they call it, skating back over to the benches and sitting down. Shane rubs at his left knee and Ilya asks, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, just a little sore but I’ll put some ice on it when we get home,” Shanne tells him. 

Ilya smiles softly, nodding. “Did you have fun?” he then asks.

“Yeah,” he nods. “Thank you— um, for bringing me here. It’s like you knew exactly what I needed before I even knew,” he laughs softly. 

Ilya looks at him thoughtfully and suddenly Shane feels exposed. He hates— loves— when Ilya looks at him this intensely, it’s like he’s seeing his soul. 

“You’re welcome,” he finally says. “You are a great skater, even with injury. You should not stop skating, you will get back to how you were with practice, I’m sure.”

It feels good to hear Ilya say that even though he doesn’t really believe it but in this moment he lets himself think that maybe he’s right. “Maybe,” Shane says simply.

At the start of March, Shane meets Svetlana. She comes over to watch the hockey game with them— Boston against Montreal. Wyatt and JJ are there as well so it’s a group thing, but meeting who Wyatt called Rozy’s girl was definitely weird for Shane.

He didn’t know what to expect but he actually likes her and he kind of hates that he likes her. She’s obviously beautiful. She’s intelligent and knows so much about hockey, more than anyone Shane’s ever met, apart from himself and his mom. She’s also funny and Shane can see why Ilya would want to hang out with her— or fuck. He doesn’t understand their dynamic. They’re not touching much throughout the evening, maybe a playful shove here and there but otherwise they very much appear to be friends. She leaves when the guys leave and then it’s just him and Ilya on the couch.

“She’s nice,” Shane tells him.

“Yes, she is great,” Ilya says, before adding, “She is my best friend since childhood.”

“Oh,” he says simply because that’s new information. He knows they’re fuck buddies from how Hayden and Wyatt made it seem but not how long they’ve been friends. “But you also—” Shane starts to say then sees the look on Ilya’s face, like he’s waiting for him to say it. “Wyatt called her your girl when telling me how he met you,” he tells him.

“Ah,” Ilya chuckles. “Wyatt is an idiot.”

“So she’s not your girlfriend?” 

“No,” he laughs softly. “She is good friend, funny, loves hockey more than me, and well— sometimes we fuck, but it’s nothing more for either of us,” he explains. 

Shane nods, storing that information to process later. He can hear the keys in the door before Elliott opens the door, greeting them both. Ilya leaves them alone and he doesn’t see him again for the rest of the night.

The weeks go by quickly. Shane works a lot of shifts at The Trophy Room, most with Rose, sometimes he’s alone if it’s not busy. The Thursday to Saturday shifts, Ilya is also working so he spends a lot of time with him. He’s noticed Ilya stops by to talk to him at the bar more often than he’s seen him do in the past, especially when it’s not very busy. 

He likes talking to Ilya, when he doesn’t have someone trying to flirt with him or get him to take them home with him. He hates seeing it but he tries to not let it affect him, choosing to get to know Ilya as a friend, and nothing more. He has to focus on his relationship— the one he moved to another country for. 

Shane also does take Ilya’s advice to practice skating. He goes to the same rink Ilya brought him to and gives it a try. He falls sometimes without Ilya there to stop it, but he doesn’t hurt himself and thinks that maybe he actually can do this. Shane even asks Ilya to come with him sometimes. One day when they mostly have the rink to themselves, Ilya brings hockey sticks and a puck, the two of them just tossing the puck back and forth. Those are some of Shane’s favorite days he’s spent here in Boston.

Suddenly, it’s the last hockey game of the season and they’re having a small gathering at the house to see who will win the Stanley Cup. It’s Boston versus San Diego and everyone’s there— except for Elliott who is per usual, working. Not like he’d even want to watch this with them, he doesn’t care about hockey, which does bother Shane because he tries so hard to gain an interest in Elliott’s interests but he never does the same for him. He’s always working and when he’s with him he’s not being very attentive, not in the way Shane is realizing he needs. 

He gets more attention from Ilya who asks him questions about the things he likes, and makes an effort to get to know him. He’s been with Elliott going on four years and he doesn’t feel like he really even knows him, not for who Shane really is. 

Elliott gets home right before the game ends and greets everyone before sitting on the floor next to where Shane sits at the end of the sofa, and kisses the side of his thigh before looking up at him. He smiles at him softly before Elliott turns to look at the TV. 

Shane looks up and meets Ilya’s eyes from where he sits in the corner of the sectional next to Svetlana in front of him and Wyatt on his other side. He looks back to the TV and within the next couple minutes, Boston wins the Stanley Cup. Everyone cheers except for Shane but he does smile, finding himself feeling happy to see Ilya this happy that his team won. 

Slowly people start heading home, starting with Hayden and Jackie who have to get back to relieve Jackie’s mom from babysitting duty, then Wyatt and JJ leave next.

Svetlana is still sitting on the couch next to Ilya and Elliott now on the couch across from them. Shane rejoins them and Elliott kisses his cheek softly when he sits down. Shane smiles at him before looking back across from him to see Ilya stand, offering his hand to Svetlana who takes it. He leads her out of the living room and Elliott makes some crude sound at them, trying to be funny as they leave— it isn’t funny to Shane. 

He decides to get up and start cleaning. Elliott helps him so they finish pretty quickly. Shane goes to the washroom to do his nighttime routine before getting into bed in his pajamas and his Metros shirt just because. He was hoping that with how much time has passed that he won’t be in bed and hear them having sex.

That wasn’t the case as he can still hear them and the bed moving. Elliott turns to face him when Shane sighs and asks, "You okay?”  

Shane looks at him and sees his face half smooshed in his pillow and half looking at him with a soft smile on his face. He looks adorable and Shane does the first thing to come to mind. He kisses Elliott hard on the lips. He can feel he’s surprised but he’s quick to deepen it, his hands grabbing his face and pulling him in.

Maybe this will drown out the noise.

*

Seeing Elliott kiss Shane and pull him close on the couch knots Ilya’s stomach so bad, he just can’t keep sitting there with them any longer so he takes Svetlana to his room.

They haven’t fucked in a while. She’s been busy and he’s been trying to ignore this crush on his friend's boyfriend by sleeping with random people but nothing's been working. 

He needs comfort and Svetlana can provide that so they fuck. It’s nothing new for them, so they both know how to get the other off. The thing is— Ilya is having a hard time getting there. 

Ilya doesn’t think he’s ever fucked Svetlana this long without already coming. He knows she has at least once, but he’s still thrusting, trying to climax but can’t. 

Then he hears it.

A loud moan from Shane across the hall. 

Ilya has heard them have sex over the past few weeks but it’s nothing more than the sound of the bed against the wall very lightly, which Ilya was thankful for. But now he can actually hear what Shane sounds like when he moans. 

Except they sound kind of exaggerated and Ilya can’t help but think he’s doing it on purpose to fuck with him. Shane could probably hear them, they haven’t exactly been super quiet, but would that make him start fucking Elliott to get back at him?

It’s all he can think about as he hears loud moan after loud moan from across the hall. There’s a few that start to sound more genuine and he can tell that Shane must be getting close and that gets Ilya close, feeling himself finally getting there. 

When his eyes are closed it’s easy to imagine something else and images of Shane flood his mind. What Shane would look like bending over in front of him, begging to be pounded. He hears another moan from across the hall and he comes hard when he hears Shane climax as well, and he instantly hates himself. Not for thinking about Shane while fucking but because he was getting off on hearing Shane being fucked and absolutely hating that it wasn’t him fucking Shane.

They clean themselves off before Svetlana puts her clothes back on and kisses Ilya softly on the cheek where he sits at the end of the bed in just his sweatpants. “Ty v poryadke?” she asks him.

Is he okay? He’s not really sure. 

So he nods, giving her a half shrug. She squeezes his shoulder sympathetically before saying goodnight and opening his bedroom door and walking out, closing it behind her.

Ilya can hear the front door open and close so he sighs before getting up and going to lock the door. He walks to the kitchen and sets himself up to smoke a cigarette— or five— before going to bed.

He’s just settled in the chair, cigarette lit when Shane walks in. He’s wearing plaid blue pajama bottoms and a Montreal Metros t-shirt, even his socks are blue. His hair is kind of messy and he looks really fucking cute, Ilya imagines him pulling Shane to him and sitting him in his lap, kissing him all over. 

But he can’t. 

So after Shane walks in and grabs a glass of water, takes a few sips and then just looks at him, Ilya asks, “What is it you want to say, Hollander?”

Shane puts his glass of water down on the counter by the fridge and leans against the counter as he says, “Didn’t think you and whichever new person you’re fucking could get any louder but yet every time—” 

Ilya’s eyes snap over to his, surprised Shane would say something like that to him when he was louder than they were being. He’s certain Svetlana has been the quietest thus far.  

He puts his half smoked cigarette in the ashtray and stands, walking over to Shane who stays where he is, between the counter and the island, as he asks, “You were putting on show for me and I was the loud one?” stopping right in front of him, just a few inches away. 

That or the proximity takes Shane aback. He stands up straight, not leaning on the counter as he says, “I was not putting on a show.”

Ilya eyes him up and down, God, he wants to devour him. “Hmm, I think you were. You are not that loud with him,” he tells him. 

“How would you know?” Shane asks, brows furrowed looking like an angry kitten. 

“I could hear the sounds of your moans tonight,” Ilya tells him, looking down at his lips where they’re parted slightly. He licks his lips, wanting so bad to know what Shane’s lips taste like. “Usually, I do not,” he adds, looking up from his lips to his eyes. 

“That doesn’t mean I was putting on a show,” Shane says, shaking his head, like he’s trying to convince himself. 

Ilya can’t stop himself from saying, “I think you wanted me to hear you getting fucked. Wanted me to know what you sound like when you come.”

“I—” Shane stutters and Ilya realizes that he’s even closer than before. He can’t remember if he moved forward or if it was Shane. Maybe it was both of them but they’re so close, Ilya is starting to feel dizzy. 

Ilya leans forward slightly and can see the harsh rise and fall of Shane’s chest. Fuck. He brings his lips close to Shane’s ear and says in a low, deep voice, “Were you imagining me fucking you deep into the mattress? Hmm?” 

Ilya lets his left hand land on Shane’s hip, trailing his fingers across his hip lightly. Shane lets out a soft moan that Ilya can feel on his neck, making his cock twitch in his sweatpants, his fingers flexing on his hip. 

“Were you imagining me moaning your name in your ear?” Ilya asks in the same deep voice before pulling back just enough to look at him, his eyes trailing down to his lips. 

Shane’s chest is almost flush with his, barely any space left between them and his fingers are still gently trailing along Shane’s side. “Please—” Shane moans softly. 

Ilya looks into his eyes and fuck, he wants to give in so badly. He says instead, “Please what? You have to use your words,” his hand grabbing Shane’s hip a little harder.

Suddenly Shane is stepping away from him, causing Ilya to let go of his hip. Shane shakes his head slightly, looking like he’s a little disoriented before he finds his footing.

“Hollander,” Ilya says and Shane looks at him almost apologetically as he says, “Sorry I—” before he turns to walk out of the kitchen, leaving Ilya alone again. 

Ilya stands there until he hears Shane’s bedroom door close, then he sits back down and finishes his cigarette and thinks about how he almost just kissed Shane tonight.

*

Shane’s heart is pounding when he returns to bed beside his sleeping boyfriend. 

Fuck. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 

He almost just kissed Ilya. 

Well, he was this close to kissing him. 

Ilya was leaning in so close to him and he smelled so good and just like him, Shane was having trouble thinking straight. He could feel himself getting hard again, feel himself moving closer to him, feel himself giving himself over to him. Then the strength of his grip on his hip shocked Shane right back to reality. 

That can’t happen again. 

It won’t. 

Shane does what he knows best and that’s avoidance so he is going to try to limit time spent alone with Ilya until he can stop feeling his overwhelming need to climb inside of him. He’s never felt this way about someone and he has a boyfriend that he loves very much. Well, he thinks it’s love. He’s only ever been with Elliott, having met him at eighteen. Shane had a girlfriend before him in high school, trying to pretend he wasn’t gay, but they only had sex twice and both were terrible, she didn’t want any repeat performances after that. 

Shane’s able to get through to the start of May, about a week before his twenty-second birthday, before he finds himself home alone with Ilya. It’s Monday, and neither of them are working at the bar.  Shane doesn’t know if Ilya has other plans today but for now he finds him sitting on the couch with his camera.

“Hey,” he says, a small smile on his lips as he walks into the living room, sitting at the other end of the couch. 

Shane’s dressed in dark grey shorts and a Metros crewneck sweater, and his hair has gotten a bit longer and he hasn’t gone to cut it, liking how it’s looking so far. The weather has gotten a lot better, much warmer now with no more snow in sight. Ilya’s wearing black track pants and a high neck light blue tank top, his crucifix chain showing.

Ilya watched as he came in and sat down before looking around and saying, “You sure we can be alone together?”

Shane’s heart pounds faster. “What do you mean?” he asks.

“You have been avoiding being alone with me for two weeks, Hollander,” Ilya says, looking right at him, his camera now in his lap. 

“I haven’t,” he says, on the defense, but Ilya sees right through him. 

“Right, okay,” Ilya says, dismissively.

“I’m sorry,” Shane tells him, feeling bad. “I just—“ he makes eye contact with him and continues before he loses his nerve, “I don’t want to avoid you but we can’t— the other night—“ Shane stutters, trying to find his way through this. “I’m not a cheater,” he finds himself saying, the word hanging in the air. Fuck. “We should be friends,” he adds hoping to fix the weirdness but he doesn’t think that works because Ilya looks at him confused as fuck.

“Friends?” Ilya asks, brows furrowed before his face goes back to normal and asks, “That is what you want? To be friends?”

No. “Yeah,” he says, nodding. “I think that’s probably for the best, right? I mean we live together and I’m with—“

“Right,” Ilya cuts him off, picking back up his camera. “Friends then,” he adds, looking at him once more before he goes back to his camera. 

“How did you get into photography?” Shane asks him, hoping he can start this friend thing now.

Ilya looks back up at him, sighing softly. He has a sad smile on his face, as he says, “My mother. She loved to take photos before—“ he stops and clears his throat before saying, “When I moved here I wasn’t sure what I should do. I had played hockey all my life and professionally for three years. Then I remembered that she loved photography and decided to give it a try. At first was hobby, you know, like for practice. I guess I got pretty good because I sometimes book jobs for events or whatever.” 

This is the most personal information Ilya has given him at once and he can’t help but smile fondly the whole time. He’s such a sweet man, the way he speaks about his mother who Shane knows died when he was a kid. Wanting to honor her by getting into photography, something she enjoyed. It warms Shane’s heart.

“That’s a beautiful way to honor her,” Shane tells him. 

“Ah, well,” Ilya says, shyly is the only way Shane can decipher it but there’s no way— right? “She was very pretty and funny. She was also very sad,” Ilya adds.

“I’m so sorry,” Shane tells him.

“It’s okay,” Ilya says softly. “I uh— I wear her necklace everyday. I don’t take it off,” he says, his fingers toying with it.

Shane had wondered about the crucifix necklace. His heart swells now knowing the significance behind it. 

Maybe becoming friends with Ilya is a mistake because he’s seeing what a good guy he is on top of being the hottest man Shane’s ever seen. No. No, Ilya cannot commit, he sleeps around a lot, he’s his roommate, he’s Elliott’s longtime friend and roommate. He can’t think about Ilya in anything but a platonic way. 

“Do you have a portfolio that I can see? I’d love to see what you’ve taken,” Shane asks him.

“Yeah, uh—“ Ilya says, smiling softly. “I’ll go get it,” he adds before getting up. 

They hang out looking at the photos he’s taken and of events he’s done. They’re all amazing. He’s really talented. 

“Your mother would be very proud of you,” Shane tells him as he flips to the next page of the book they’re looking at. 

He looks up to look at Ilya who’s sitting close now that they’re looking at pictures together. He’s got a sad smile on his face and Shane imagines him kissing him softly, comfortingly. 

“Thank you,” Ilya says softly, and Shane smiles. 

Ilya’s phone starts buzzing so he picks it up from where it’s on the sofa next to him and sees who’s calling before telling him, “Sorry,” as he gets up and answers. 

“Privet, papa,” Ilya says into the phone as he goes to the kitchen to speak to his dad.

Shane doesn’t know much about Ilya’s dad other than he’s really old, an asshole, and still lives in Russia. That’s all Elliott told him. Shane continues to look at his photos as he hears Ilya speaking Russian on the phone. 

After a few minutes, Ilya sits back down next to him and Shane asks, “How’s your father?”

“Ah, you speak Russian now?” Ilya asks, teasingly. 

“I know the word for father,” Shane says. 

Ilya nods, smiling at him softly. His eyes drifted back to the book in front of him on Shane’s lap. He looks like he’s thinking about something so Shane doesn’t push anything. They’re quiet for a couple minutes as he gets through this portfolio.

“My father is sick,” Ilya finally says something and Shane looks at him, meeting his eyes. “Uh— he has dementia,” he provides. 

“Oh, that’s terrible,” Shane says softly, feeling bad. Even with a complicated history between them, it must not be easy for Ilya to go through this. 

Ilya nods, looking away for a moment. “Hey, you okay?” Shane asks him, touching his arm, pulling him towards him. Ilya looks at him and Shane can see the start of tears making Ilya’s blue eyes glassy. Shane does the first thing he can think of to comfort Ilya and that's to pull him into a hug. It’s a little awkward due to how they’re sitting next to each other. The only part of them touching is from above their waists. Shane’s arms are wrapped around Ilya’s neck, holding him close as Ilya wraps his arms around his middle, letting himself be held. 

This is the first time they’ve ever hugged and it feels really nice. He finds that he doesn’t want to let go but he should so he slowly pulls away and looks at him with a soft smile. 

Ilya’s quickly wiping at his eyes and clearing his throat. He looks back at Shane and asks, “Would you like to go for a walk? Maybe take some photos?” catching him off guard. 

He now has that cute little smile on his face and Shane is finding it really hard to say no, especially since he’s just opened up to him about his family.

So he says, “Okay,” with a smile. 

With how nice it is today, they’re both fine dressed the way they are to head outside. Shane expects them to start walking but Ilya goes to the garage. “I thought you said a walk,” he tells him.

“Yes, but not here,” he tells him before opening the garage. 

Ilya walks to the passenger door to open it for Shane. Shane walks over to him and gets in the car, Ilya closing it behind him before making his way around. 

Ilya drives them to the Boston Public Garden, parking nearby so they can walk around and enjoy the rest of the afternoon as Ilya takes photos. 

As they’re walking, he realizes he doesn’t see Ilya so he turns to look for him and sees him pointing his camera at him. Shane blushes, smiling at him as Ilya takes some shots. “Okay, that’s enough, you’re going to waste your film on me,” he tells him. 

“It is not a waste if it is you,” Ilya says, making the insides of Shane melt like butter. 

He can’t just say things like that, ugh. 

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Shane says. 

Ilya walks over to him and asks, “Are you saying my photos are no good?” teasing him.

“You know that’s not what I’m saying,” Shane tells him, looking up into his eyes. 

Ilya smiles at him sweetly before looking down at his camera, showing the many photos he’s taken of Shane. Almost every photo he’s taken since they’ve been here has been of Shane in various different spots on their walk. 

Shane’s heart swells and there’s a knot in his stomach seeing the way Ilya has captured him.

“You are very beautiful,” Ilya tells him in a low voice, making Shane hot all over.

He actually believes him when he says that and that’s kind of scary to him. 

He looks up into his eyes again, blushing as he says, “Thank you.”

They walk around a bit more, Ilya taking photos and Shane now more in tune with when Ilya’s taking photos of him. They end up finding a spot to sit down at some point as the sun starts to make its descent and it gets a little cooler out. 

They’re able to catch the sunset and it’s beautiful here— the sky full of different pinks, and orange, it’s so calming. He can hear the sound of Ilya snapping photos but doesn’t turn to see if they’re directed at him or not. He knows he’s been taking pictures of him today and he actually quite loves them even though he doesn’t usually care to see pictures of himself. Ilya’s very talented and he captures Shane better than he’s ever seen of himself before, so he lets him do his thing.

Shane’s phone rings with an incoming call from his mom so he excuses himself to step away and answer the call.

It’s always the same— she wants to know when he’s going to come home for a visit or if they can come see him soon, especially since his birthday is a week away. He apologizes for not having the time but that hopefully he can come home for a visit soon, with Elliott too— they keep asking about him. 

As he’s walking back over to Ilya, Elliott now calls him.

“Hey,” he answers the phone. 

“Hey, where are you? I just got home and thought maybe we can get dinner if you didn’t eat yet,” Elliott asks him.

He hasn’t been thinking about the time at all today, too wrapped up in spending time with Ilya. He immediately feels bad. “Sorry, I’m uh— I’m out with Ilya but we’re on our way home,” he says and Ilya can hear him as he’s standing in front of where he’s sitting on the bench still. 

Ilya nods, standing up. He starts leading the way back to the car.

“Sounds good, babe, glad you two are getting along,” Elliott tells him. 

“Yeah,” he says simply. 

“Get home soon, yeah? I’m starving,” Elliott tells him.

Shane rolls his eyes and Ilya catches that, Shane can see that little lift of his lips as he turns forward again. “I’m going to make the fish that’s in the fridge when I get back, see you soon,” he tells him. He waits for him to say bye before hanging up. 

Ilya holds the car door open for him, and Shane smiles softly. “Thanks,” he tells him before getting in.

The drive is quiet except for the Bad Bunny playlist that’s playing on low volume from Ilya’s Spotify. Shane glances over at Ilya every so often without being too obvious. He looks like he might be annoyed but he’s not sure why. What happened for him to be like this now?

Soon enough, Ilya is pulling into the driveway as he opens the left side of the garage before pulling in.

They get out of the car and make their way out before Ilya closes the garage. Shane unlocks the front door for them, heading inside first. 

“Finally!” Elliott calls from the living room. Shane removes his shoes and walks in to greet him.

Shane leans down to give him a quick kiss that he’s waiting for before standing back up. Ilya comes into the doorway and says, “I will make dinner.”

“Oh,” Shane says, he knows Ilya heard him earlier that he’ll make dinner. “I’ll help you,” he adds as Ilya turns to head to the kitchen.

“I’m sure he’s got it,” Elliott tells him, his hand grabbing his wrist.

“I said I’d make dinner. I don’t want him to feel like he has to,” Shane tells him. 

“Okay,” Elliott says, letting him go.

Shane walks over to the kitchen and sees Ilya getting everything out that Shane had planned to make. “You don’t have to make dinner, I said I would,” Shane tells him as he walks by him to the sink to wash his hands.

When he’s done, Ilya stops to lean against the counter next to him, face to face. “Are you his mother?” he asks, low enough that Elliott wouldn’t hear from where he’s on his laptop in the living room.

“What?” he asks immediately. What the fuck does that mean? “No—“ he starts to say before Ilya interrupts him.

“No, you’re not? Then why can’t he make dinner for you? He was here first,” Ilya asks, looking deeply into his eyes and Shane’s heart is pounding so fucking hard, it feels like Ilya is looking right into his soul and he doesn’t know what the fuck to do about it.

“I—“ he’s at a loss for words. He shakes his head, hoping to clear his mind but when he makes eye contact with Ilya everything gets so confusing. “He’s not a good cook, I’m sure you know that,” Shane finally says, finding the words to say, and they’re true— Elliott can make an easy bowl of ramen but that’s about it. “Plus I’m sure he’s tired from the hospital,” he adds, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Right,” Ilya nods, making a turtle face— the only thing he can call it. He turns back to the food on the counter to get started. He glances back at Shane to say, “You deserve man who will cook for you— do anything for you.”

It feels like all the breath leaves Shane’s body at those words. He can barely even process it before Ilya’s asking him to get him the following items.

“Hollander?” Ilya asks, shaking Shane out of his head. 

“Yeah, sorry,” he blushes, before turning around and getting the plate he needs. 

The two of them make dinner together. Shane starts with putting the brown rice in a pot to boil while Ilya chops vegetables. Ilya then prepares the fish while Shane watches, waiting for the right time to cook the vegetables. 

At some point Elliott comes in to see the progress, hugging Shane from behind. Shane blushes, feeling awkward having Elliott all over him in front of Ilya. He’s never felt this way before, not to this level. 

“Too many people,” Ilya says when Elliott kisses Shane’s neck, shooing at them.

Shane gently pushes Elliott off him, smiling at him as he backs away with his hands up. He sits at the table and waits for the food to be done, talking about his day that no one actually asked about but something cool happened so—

With the plates made, Shane carries his own and one for Elliott over to the table and sits down. Ilya walks over to put a ginger ale in front of Shane. Shane looks up to meet his gaze. Ilya says, “I’m going to be in the living room,” before walking out of the kitchen. 

Elliott scoffs when they’re alone and says, “He didn’t even get me a drink. Dick.”

“I’ll get it,” Shane starts to say but Elliott is standing. 

“It’s okay, babe,” he tells him, kissing his head.

Shane smiles to himself when he looks at the ginger ale. He cracks it open and Elliott sits back down with a glass of water. They start eating and Elliott asks what they did today. 

“He showed me some of his photography,” Shane says, his hand over his mouth as he finishes his bite. “I really like it, but yeah, uh— we went for a walk and he took some more pictures with the film he said he needed to finish so we did,” he adds. 

Elliott nods, eyeing him as he chews his food. “That’s cool,” he then says.

“Yeah,” Shane says awkwardly before diverting the conversation back to what Elliott did today, all the while thinking about Ilya sitting alone in the other room. 

Like most things that happen between Shane and Ilya, they don’t talk about it after. Going back to how things normally are between them— like they’re trying really hard not to give in to the other.

It’s almost Shane’s twenty-second birthday and his new friends suggested they go to this cool new club where Miles knows someone who works there— or maybe the owner… Shane doesn’t know. He doesn’t really like clubs but his friends are begging him to do something so they could celebrate him so he tells Miles to make the arrangement for the booth.

They’re at the club on the night before his birthday and before leaving the house he had an argument with Elliott about him being on-call the week of his birthday. Elliott claims he had no say so Shane doesn’t push it, wanting to just enjoy his birthday. Rose and Svetlana had come over to have a drink and to get a ride with Ilya, since they seemed to have hit it off at the last gathering they met at. And Elliott drives him since he needs to have his car in case he needs to leave.

Whatever.

The club is big and packed with people. Their booth is spacious and Miles ordered tequila and vodka for the table with a bunch of different mixers. The servers who brought the bottles also brought a big sign that said Happy Birthday Shane! 

He’s sitting in the booth with Elliott at the end of the booth to his left and Rose on his right. Svetlana’s sitting next to her and Ilya on her other side. Wyatt, JJ, Hayden and Jackie are all sitting across from him, and Miles keeps disappearing from the group. 

“Would you like me to make you a drink?” Ilya asks him from where he’s now standing, holding the bottle of vodka. 

Shane finds himself looking to Elliott on his left who is on his phone. Shane rolls his eyes and looks up to meet Ilya’s gaze. He’s looking at him intensely and fuck, maybe he does really need a drink. “Sure, thanks,” he says, a little louder than maybe necessary, hoping his boyfriend sees that other people are attending to him and he isn’t doing anything.

Shane stands, annoyed, and steps closer to Ilya who hands him a glass. He clinks it against Ilya’s glass before taking a sip. It’s actually a lot better than he was expecting. “What is this?” he asks him.

“Vodka and ginger ale, with some lime,” Ilya tells him, lips quirk up into a smile. “Are you not bartender?” he teases.

Shane laughs, “Shut up,” he says, blushing. 

Svetlana stands, ending up between them, and taking the bottle from the table. “Let’s not hog the liquor, boys,” she winks at Shane before making herself a drink. 

He sips his drink as Elliott gets up, putting his arm around him and kissing the side of his head. “What are you drinking?” he asks him, looking into his glass.

“Vodka and ginger ale,” he tells him. 

“Wow, you’re actually drinking,” Elliott teases. 

Shane rolls his eyes at him. “It is my birthday,” he tells him. 

“Tomorrow,” Elliott corrects, being annoying.

“In a couple hours actually, but sure,” Shane says, rolling his eyes again. He sips his drink faster, focusing on that before he argues with his boyfriend in front of their friends. He’s done his first drink and Rose suggests shots so they all do a shot— except for Jackie and Elliott. Shane makes a face, taking a lime to his mouth to chase the intensity of the liquor. He sees Ilya smiling at him softly, making him blush.

Ilya is wearing dark jeans that fit him way too fucking well, and a light gray button down shirt. Most of his chest exposed as he only started to button the shirt midway down his chest. He can see the crucifix and that he has nothing else under the shirt. Shane tries not to stare but he looks really good. 

Elliott wraps his arm around Shane’s shoulders, pulling him into him and his attention away from Ilya. Shane hugs him quickly, feeling him kiss his head again. Elliott’s quite taller than him so he does that a lot. Shane isn’t sure how much he actually likes it. He looks up at him and Elliott leans down to kiss Shane on the lips. 

Elliott deepens it and he feels weird kissing with tongue standing at their booth with their friends. Rose starts cheering beside them and Shane pulls away. He sees Ilya has walked away and is out near the dance floor, already getting the attention of many people. Shane accepts a new drink from Svetlana and he goes to sit next to Hayden and Jackie since Wyatt and JJ are also on the dance floor trying to pick up women with Ilya. 

Suddenly three new women join their table. Great.

Ilya’s got a blonde girl on his lap. She has her hair in curls, flowing down her back and she’s in a backless pink dress and very high heels. Shane finds himself seething as he sees this girl start kissing on Ilya’s neck, sitting in the booth they have for Shane’s birthday. Who did they think they were?

“Shane,” he hears Elliott say, touching his arm gently from where they’re sitting across from what’s happening across from him. He looks at Elliott and then he says, “I have to go, I was just paged to go assist on a call.”

“Seriously?” Shane asks, annoyed, and a little loudly. 

“Babe, you know I’m on-call, I can’t just—” he starts to say.

Shane interrupts him, sighing, “Right, okay, so go.”

It’s not even midnight yet so that means he won’t even have his boyfriend here when it becomes his twenty-second birthday. The person who is supposed to make him a priority and be there for him. 

“I’ll try to come back if you’re still here when I’m done,” he tells him, kissing his cheek. 

“Okay,” Shane says simply. 

Elliott stands and walks over to Ilya for a moment, wondering what that’s about before he sees him walk away towards the exit. 

“What happened?” Rose asks next to him. 

“He’s on-call at the hospital, he got paged,” Shane tells her, shrugging.

His eyes land on Ilya again and the girl is no longer on his lap but next to him and he’s looking right at Shane. Shane looks away, back to Rose and asks her to do a shot with him. 

*

Seeing Elliott shoving his tongue in Shane’s mouth was the final straw, Ilya had to get out of there. He goes to the dance floor to find someone he could fuck tonight if he’s going to be subjected to seeing Shane and Elliott making out after he heard them fighting earlier. 

Shane doesn’t deserve to put up with the shit he does from Elliott. He doesn’t make Shane a priority and he should be, especially tonight. But it’s not his business, so he finds a willing and eager woman to bring back to the booth. She’s already sucking on his neck when Shane finally  looks back at him. He can see that it affects him and that kind of eases the knot inside of him because he knows it can’t just be him.

Elliott walks over to him so he taps the girl's leg and she sits next to him instead. “I gotta go, can you make sure Shane gets home?” he asks him.

“Of course,” Ilya tells him, because I actually care about Shane.

Elliott nods before leaving, not even looking back at Shane. Ilya looks over at Shane before Shane meets his gaze. He’s just as quick to avert his gaze before he’s up and taking another shot. Ilya dismisses the girl he brought back before she tells her friends to join her on the dance floor. The girls that were talking to Wyatt and JJ pull them with them so the two guys head to dance. Jackie and Hayden also decide to dance a bit, leaving Ilya sitting in the booth to keep an eye on Shane who is now accepting another drink from Miles who has returned. Svetlana comes to sit by him and shakes her head at him. He ignores her because he knows she’s right, leave it alone, but he can’t. He needs to be sure Shane is okay. 

Wyatt, JJ, Hayden and Jackie return to the booth in time for it to strike midnight and do a celebratory shot in honor of Shane’s birthday. That might have been the tipping point because Shane is definitely drunk now. Hayden and Jackie leave, Shane giving them both a big hug and kiss on the cheek each. 

“Wow, drunk Shane is touchy,” Hayden teases him before leaving. 

Rose manages to get Shane to dance with her just outside of their booth. Ilya keeps an eye on Shane the entire time. He can actually move decently well and he so badly wishes he could slip behind Shane and dance with him, holding him in his arms.

Shane looks so good tonight, he’s wearing black pants that hug his ass so perfectly, Ilya wants to take a bite. And he’s wearing a blue button down shirt, buttoned appropriately until Rose grabs his shirt while they’re dancing and undoes another two buttons, showing some of his chest. Fuck. 

He notices a man from the next booth walk over to Shane and Rose but speaks to Shane, not Rose. Ilya sits forward in his seat, watching as this man is clearly trying to flirt with Shane while Shane is either too tipsy to realize or oblivious to his flirting because he’s laughing at the things he says. Ilya hates that he feels jealous of some random dude trying to hit on Shane when Shane has a whole fucking boyfriend that they both live with. 

The guy then touches Shane’s arm from shoulder down to his elbow and Ilya’s up before he can even think about it. Shane steps away from the guy just as Ilya walks over, standing behind Shane who moves next to him and a bit behind him when he sees he’s there. Ilya asks the guy, “Do you need something?”

The guy eyes him, brow furrowed. “I was just trying to talk to Shane,” he tells him.

“Not anymore, bye bye,” he tells him.

“And who the fuck are you? I think Shane can make his own decisions on who he wants to talk to,” the moron in the ugly red shirt says.

“I have a boyfriend,” Shane speaks up from beside him. “A boyfriend who had to leave me on my fucking birthday!” Shane continues, getting louder, and clearly more upset.

The guy walks away and Ilya turns to look at Shane. He looks upset but also has these soft glassy eyes looking back at him. “Let’s go home, hmm?” he tells him, hands on his biceps. 

Shane nods once before taking a deep breath. “I’m thirsty,” Shane says looking back up at him.

Ilya smiles at him fondly. “I will get you a bottle, come with me,” he says, leading Shane back to the booth. “Say goodbye Shane,” he tells whoever’s left while grabbing one of the unopened water bottles and giving it to Shane.  Rose and Svetlana want to stay so they’ll figure out their own way home. They say their goodbyes once Shane’s able to drink some of the water. 

Before they leave he says he has to pee so bad so they stop in the washroom before he’s finally ushering him to his car. 

Shane holds onto his arm as they walk, blabbering about how much fun he had but how annoyed he is at Elliott and ugh can you believe that guy about the random trying to hit on him— Ilya lets him talk, listening and finding it hard not to smile at him.

“What?” Shane asks, seeing his smile as they reach the car. 

Ilya holds the door open for him and says, “You are a very cute drunk.” Shane looks at him with big eyes and his lips slightly parted before he adds, “Watch your head,” nodding to the car.

Shane gets inside and Ilya loves that he does what he says, he gives him everything Ilya needs but it’s not enough and that’s because Shane’s already in a relationship.

Ilya puts some music on but not too loud as he drives them home.

Shane sits quietly on the drive, looking out the window. At some point he gets a text and he answers it. It’s probably Elliott which annoys Ilya to no end.

Ilya’s the one who’s here. 

Here for Shane at the club to celebrate his birthday. Here for Shane to drive him home. Ilya has been here for Shane for the past three months and he hasn’t been. Yet Shane is still letting himself think that he loves Elliott when he should be with Ilya even though Ilya’s certain that Shane is too good for him, but he wants to be with him so badly. He knows he can make Shane happy. 

*

Finally home, inside the dark house except for the one lamp in the living room that’s illuminating some of the entryway. Shane replayed the night in his head in the car and he’s now annoyed by how much Ilya does to show him why he shouldn’t be with Elliott. He’s messing with Shane’s head and he hates it. He hates that he thinks about what it would be like to be Ilya’s boyfriend. He hates that he thinks about what it would be like to kiss him, feel his strong arms around him. He hates that he likes Ilya so much. 

Shane walks into the living room and hears Ilya follow him. “So what was all of that back there?” Shane asks him, turning to look at him.

“All what? What are you talking about, Hollander?” Ilya asks him, looking at him confused.

“With that guy— yeah, he was a dick, but I didn’t need you to step in,” Shane tells him.

Ilya’s eyebrows raise up before he says, “He was touching you.”

“So?” Shane asks, louder than he was before. “What does it matter? I have a—“

“Boyfriend, fuck— I know,” Ilya says annoyed, looking away.

Shane watches him, realizing that he’s annoyed that he’s dating Elliott. 

Shane’s heart beats faster as he watches Ilya turn back to face him. They’re both breathing slightly heavier as they look at each other, neither saying a word.

Shane’s eyes move down to Ilya’s lips. He thinks about what they taste like a lot, maybe too much— definitely too much. He looks back up at his eyes and says, “Not like anything would have happened.”

Ilya steps closer to him and Shane does the same on reflex. “No?” Ilya asks softly, taking another step, putting them within touching distance. “You would not kiss someone like him?” Ilya asks, his eyes looking from his eyes to his lips and then back up his face. 

“No,” Shane says simply, feeling out of breath. He feels like he’s completely sobered up since they’ve been home. 

Ilya leans in closer, moving his face to the side to lean in closer to his ear. “You would kiss someone like me?” he asks in a low deep voice, driving Shane absolutely insane.

“I—“ Shane says in a breath, unsure what he wants to say. Ilya’s so close to him he feels dizzy. “Stop confusing me,” he says, pulling back a bit to look into his eyes.

Before Ilya can say anything, he can hear the keys in the door so Shane steps back, sitting down gently on the sofa behind him. He finishes the bottle of water in his hand when Elliott walks into the living room. 

“Hey,” he greets them, seeing them both in there, then walking over to Shane who stands. “You okay?”

Shane hums, “Mhmm,” accepting the half hug Elliott offers him. He’s still annoyed with him but he also feels dizzy from what just almost happened again with Ilya, and he’s too tipsy for all of this. 

“Let’s get to bed, huh?” Elliott asks, wrapping his arm around his waist, leading him towards the stairs. 

Shane looks back and sees Ilya grab his pack of cigarettes and head to the kitchen, only glancing at him for a second before continuing his way. Shane goes back to bed with Elliott, trying his best to do his nighttime routine before climbing into bed in just his briefs. 

Shane barely says goodnight before he’s drifting off thinking about a man who’s sitting outside smoking cigarettes right now. 

The next morning, Shane wakes up with a small headache. He groans, rolling over onto his back, he sees that the bed is empty. Nice, he’s waking up on his birthday alone. 

Shane rubs his eyes before sitting up and seeing the glass of water and two Tylenol sitting on his bedside table. That’s sweet, and definitely helps Elliott’s case but he’s still upset with him. He takes the Tylenol, checks his phone and sees it’s just past ten, then gets out of bed. He puts some sweatpants on and makes his way out of his room, to the bathroom first and foremost, freshening himself up before going downstairs.

He sees Ilya and Elliott sitting on the couch as he walks over to them. “Happy birthday, sleepyhead,” Elliott says as he gets up to greet Shane with a kiss on the head. “You feeling alright this morning? Hangover okay?” 

Shane chuckles awkwardly, “Uh, yeah, the Tylenol helped, thanks,” he tells him.

“Of course,” Elliott smiles at him.

Shane looks over at Ilya who makes eye contact, before saying, “Happy birthday, Hollander.”

“Thank you,” Shane says, smiling politely.

“I was thinking we should go have breakfast at this great place not far from here. Feed that hangover, you know?” Elliott offers, looking at him expectantly. 

He doesn’t really want to go anywhere but the mention of food has his stomach growling. “Okay,” he agrees.

“Roz?” Elliott asks, turning to look at Ilya. “Wanna join us?” 

“Ah, no,” Ilya says quickly. “You two enjoy,” he tells them. 

Shane’s grateful Ilya declines because Shane would just feel so awkward the entire time but either way he feels awkward. He doesn’t want to talk about his feelings in a public place while he’s hungover, but he still feels some type of way about not being put as a priority in Elliott’s life. Shane’s been trying— he really has— and it doesn’t feel like it’s enough because either way, Shane will always come way after his career. 

He eats a great breakfast, stuffing his face with eggs, sausages, bacon, and hashbrows with a couple of pancakes. It was just what Shane needed even though he’ll have to have a very intense workout tomorrow. 

When they get back home around one, Shane can hear music coming from Ilya’s room. Shane tells Elliott that he wants to lay down so goes to lay on the couch. Elliott puts on a movie and cuddles up next to him. Shane falls asleep easily between the couch and Elliott’s body. 

He’s not sure how long he’s asleep by the time Elliott finally wakes him gently, shaking his shoulder. Shane looks up at him before yawning. He asks what time it is and Elliott tells him it’s just past four— he slept another three hours. Shane sits up, so Elliott does too, moving to the next cushion so Shane can get up. He tells him he’s going to go shower before making his way out of the living room, Elliott staying to watch the movie he has on. 

Shane goes up the short flight of stairs and doesn’t hear music from Ilya’s room anymore and wonders if maybe he left while Shane was sleeping. He takes a shower and spends the rest of the evening before bed with Elliott as Ilya doesn’t come home before Shane’s asleep in bed.

The next morning, Elliott’s alarm goes off early as he needs to get to the clinic he’s working at during his residency. Shane gets up as well, wanting to workout and do some things today since he’ll be working as of five o’clock to cover his missed shifts over the weekend. 

Shane changes into his black compression shirt and some loose black shorts and puts his sneakers on before heading into the gym after saying bye to Elliott. He still hasn’t spoken to him about anything yet. He doesn’t know how to. He doesn’t know what he wants to say. He needs to figure that out first.

Shane goes hard on his workout, pushing to two hours when he finally decides it’s enough. It’s nearly nine when he walks out of the gym and to the kitchen where he sees Ilya in sweatpants and no shirt, barefoot in the kitchen sipping on his coffee.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were home,” Shane tells him, before walking in and getting the food he needs from the fridge for his smoothie. 

Ilya leans against the counter watching him, mug on the counter. “I got home late but I slept here,” Ilya tells him. 

“Oh,” Shane says simply. 

“Good workout?” Ilya asks him, looking him up and down, his eyes lingering on his chest before meeting his eyes.

“Yeah, it was needed,” Shane laughs softly before he gets started on his smoothie. Ilya goes over to sit at the table and drink his coffee, watching Shane. When Shane’s done the smoothie, he pours it into a glass and takes a sip. “Um, I’m gonna go shower,” he then says.

“Ok,” Ilya says simply, watching him, smiling at him softly. 

Shane nods, taking his smoothie with him and walking out of the kitchen. He goes to his room, putting his smoothie down before grabbing his robe and a towel and going to shower. 

He inevitably has to go back downstairs and be alone with Ilya. They haven’t been alone since after they got home from the club. Maybe they’ll just go right back to what they always do— not talk about it.

*

Ilya hated having to watch Elliott bring a tipsy Shane to bed so he went outside and smoked one too many cigarettes before going to bed. Ilya also hated seeing a hungover Shane asleep with his head half on another man’s chest where they’re cuddling on the sofa after having breakfast together so he left to go to Svetlana’s house. 

He just needed to get out of the house, they didn’t do anything but watch movies and smoke a bit of weed— just enough to get Ilya’s mind off of things. He didn’t leave until late, until he knew for sure Shane would be asleep. He didn’t want to chance seeing him with Elliott again. 

Ilya knew Shane was up and working out as he could hear him when he woke up so he decided to go make himself some coffee and wait for Shane to inevitably come into the kitchen for his smoothie.

He looks so fucking hot with that compression shirt hugging his muscles and the sweat glistening on him. Ilya can’t help but watch him make his smoothie, smiling softly at him. Shane goes to shower so Ilya cleans the small blender that he’s sure Shane was going to wash but maybe he distracted him. He’s finished cleaning then grabs a banana and eats it before Shane is making his way back into the kitchen. He’s dressed in loose dark grey shorts and a black t-shirt, his long hair wet and pushed out of his face. He looks so fucking good, Ilya doesn’t know how he’s going to spend the day with him before Shane leaves for work.

“Oh,” Shane says when he sees the clean kitchen. “You didn’t have to— I was going to wash it.”

“It’s okay,” Ilya says, dismissing it. 

Shane looks like he wants to say something but he’s struggling as he looks around, unsure how to say it. Ilya waits, leaning his hip against the island, watching Shane figure it out. 

“What happened the other night— we can’t—” Shane says, shaking his head. He looks at him and Ilya looks into his eyes. “I ha—have a boyfriend,” he adds for good measure, like somehow Ilya doesn’t know that. Ilya scoffs at that and Shane asks, “What?”

“You say that like I don’t know you have a boyfriend like we don’t all fucking live together,” Ilya tells him, a little annoyed, but only because he likes Shane so much. “I don’t even know why you still keep him as boyfriend,” he mutters.

“What does that mean?” Shane asks him.

“He doesn’t make you priority— he proved that at your birthday,” Ilya tells him honestly, not holding back anymore. “Well, he’s proved it over the past few months but—”

“And what?” Shane asks, voice a bit louder, he sounds upset now. “Are you saying you’d be a better boyfriend? Someone who almost kissed me one night to being out late the next with God knows who.”

He’s jealous. Good. Ilya’s been feeling like this for too long.

“I was with Svetlana,” he tells him. 

“Of course, you were,” Shane rolls his eyes, scoffing. 

Ilya steps closer and says, “You roll your eyes too much. You’re a brat,” in that low, deep voice that has proved to make Shane melt into him slightly. 

“Fuck off,” Shane says, still annoyed, but his breathing is heavier.

God, he needs to fuck the brat right out of him.

“Nothing happened,” Ilya tells him, searching his eyes. “With Svetlana. She is my best friend. I spent the day on her couch watching movies and smoking a bit of weed.”

Shane smiles at that softly and Ilya’s heart warms. “You shouldn’t be smoking so much— cigarettes too,” Shane tells him. 

“And you shouldn’t—” he starts to say before shaking his head. He says, “And you deserve someone who will make you his priority. He does not do that,” Ilya says before he loses his nerve. “Who do you think had the fridge stocked with things you like when you moved in? Him? It was evening before you were coming here and he did not go to the store and was still at the hospital so I went. I was the one who made sure you had everything you needed.” 

“I— You— what?” Shane asks, confused. 

Ilya steps closer, leaving little space between them, waiting for Shane to look up into his eyes. When he does, Ilya says, “You’re all I want. It keeps me up at night. All I want to do is be around you, make you blush, make you laugh, see that perfect smile with your beautiful freckles and—”

Shane’s hand touches Ilya’s side gently as he leans up, closing the distance between them as he presses his lips softly to Ilya’s. 

Ilya immediately brings his right hand up to caress Shane’s face as he kisses him, his left hand touching his chest softly. He slips his tongue into Shane’s mouth and Shane moans into the kiss, deepening it as he presses his body into him, his hands holding his sides. 

Kissing Shane feels incredible. It’s better than he ever imagined it could be. The feel of his lips perfectly matching his, the taste of his tongue on his, the small moans into his mouth— it’s all so overwhelming in the best possible way. Ilya feels like he’s floating on a cloud. 

*

Shane runs his hands up Ilya’s bare chest, feeling them under his palms. God, he’s wanted to touch his pecs for so long. 

He didn’t intend to kiss Ilya but the things he was saying—

Ilya has been making Shane a priority since he’s moved in. Telling him that he was the one who stocked the fridge— that sealed it for Shane. He remembered the morning after he moved in well, he made a smoothie and texted a picture to Elliott thanking him for getting what he needed and he said it was no problem like he was the one who had gotten everything but it wasn’t him this entire time. He lied to him.

Ilya who helped him get a job. Ilya who drives him to work and home when they work the same shifts. Ilya who checks in on him often to see how he’s doing. Ilya who got him back into skating. Ilya who has the same interests as him and is never bored listening to him speak. Ilya who takes time out of his day to spend time with him and learn about him and to show Shane who he is as well. Ilya who tells Shane that he deserves someone who prioritizes him while that’s all Ilya has done since he’s met him.

Ilya who looks way too good to not kiss, so he didn’t think too hard and just went for it. He’s glad he did because holy fuck—  Shane has never been kissed like this in his entire life. He feels completely and utterly consumed by Ilya Rozanov and he can’t get enough.

Ilya’s hands travel down his body and suddenly he’s lifting him up and Shane’s wrapping his legs around him and his arms around his neck as he kisses down his jaw to his neck. Ilya carries him to the living room before sitting down still holding Shane. Ilya chuckles as he gets them on the couch, Shane laughing softly into his neck before they settle, Shane straddling his lap. 

They look at each other like they want to devour each other. He welcomes Ilya’s lips when they lean back in for more, allowing his tongue into his mouth, and moaning into the kiss softly, feeling the way Ilya’s hands roam over his body. 

Shane can feel Ilya’s hard cock press into his ass through their pants and he grinds down against it harder, moaning louder into the kiss, then pulling his head back slightly. 

Ilya’s lips move to his neck, kissing him softly all across the exposed skin, teasing him with his tongue as he moves his lips up to his ear. Shane’s hips move easily against Ilya’s, loving the way his hands feel gripping onto his waist and holding him in place. 

He kisses Shane again then rests his forehead against his. “Fuck, Shane,” Ilya moans into his mouth and Shane’s eyes open wider for a moment as he looks at Ilya. 

“Ilya,” he tests his name on his lips. He’s said his first name before when referring to him but neither of them have called each other by their first names since they met.

Things have changed now. 

Things have gotten a lot more real.

Especially considering he’s straddling Ilya and Ilya is smiling up at him softly as he kisses him across his face. 

Shane pulls away slightly, sitting back on his lap, creating a bit of distance as his heart pounds hard and he’s starting to feel this deep pit in his stomach. 

He just kissed Ilya. He kissed someone else. He cheated on his boyfriend. 

“Fuck,” Shane says, climbing off Ilya’s lap and sitting next to him, feeling himself start to panic. “I’m a terrible person,” he says a few times over and over.

“Hey, hey,” Ilya says, his hand landing on Shane’s back and running up and down in a soothing motion. “You are having panic attack,” he tells him, and Shane can’t help but let out a soft laugh at that ‘cause no shit. “You’re ok,” he reassures him, his hand coming up to his neck and squeezing softly, since Shane put his elbows on his legs and bent his head down.

“I’m a terrible person,” Shane repeats, looking at Ilya who has a soft smile on his face, maybe even a little sadness to it.

“You’re not— you are perfect,” Ilya tells him, voice soft, his hand still on his back.

“I’m not,” Shane shakes his head. How could he be perfect when he just cheated on someone he’s been in in a relationship with for nearly four years? 

“To me, yes, you are,” Ilya tells him, bringing his hand to Shane’s cheek and running his thumb across his cheekbone where he has a splattering of freckles— that Ilya called beautiful. 

Shane wants to kiss him again which makes him feel so guilty so he frowns, looking down. Ilya tilts his head up with his hand on his chin, meeting his eye. “I like you,” he says simply, honestly, and with a shy smile. 

Shane can’t help but smile fondly and say, “I like you too.”

“Then do not feel bad for this,” Ilya says, addressing their make out. “That was the best kiss of my life, and I’m never happier than when I’m with you,” he tells him, and Shane’s heart squeezes. 

He’s so fucked. He likes Ilya so much. He never expected this to happen. He doesn’t know what to do.

“Fuck, Ilya,” Shane groans, letting his forehead land against Ilya’s shoulder. 

Ilya’s hand comes up to run his fingers through Shane’s semi-dry hair, and it feels so good. God, his fingers… 

“I know, Shane,” Ilya says softly, gently caressing his head. 

Shane lifts his head and looks at him. “I don’t know what to do,” he tells him honestly. He’s scared. He definitely has real feelings for Ilya but he’s still in a relationship with Elliott. He can’t be in a relationship and have feelings for someone else so he needs to finally have a conversation with Elliott. He’s just not sure how Ilya really feels. Yes, he said he likes him but what does that mean? He’s never been in a relationship before, would he be in one with Shane? 

“You don’t have to make a decision now,” Ilya tells him before he pulls Shane to lean back with him against the couch. Shane laughs softly, allowing Ilya to pull him against his chest, attempting to cuddle him. 

It’s very sweet and it feels good. Feeling Ilya’s heart beating fast through his chest and his hand on his head— it feels really good. 

They sit like that for a bit until Ilya moves to lay down and takes Shane with him. Shane lays half on top of Ilya and kisses him softly, his fingers touching his face lightly. 

“You make me so confused,” he says softly, pulling away from his lips to look into his eyes.

“Is good though, yes?” Ilya asks, that cheeky little smile of his. His hands on his sides, holding him in place. 

Shane smiles shyly. “You’re not making things easy on me,” he teases, even though it’s true.

“Sorry,” he says simply, teasingly, smiling at him like he can get away with it.

“No, you’re not,” Shane says, laughing softly. 

Ilya leans forward and kisses Shane’s nose. Shane groans, throwing himself off Ilya and sitting next to him instead.

Ilya laughs then sits up and says, “Fine, okay,” leaving some space between them. His phone starts buzzing so he picks it up, “Hello?”

There’s a pause as he listens before he says, “Ah, yes, hello Patrick.” There’s another pause then, “No, it’s okay.”

Shane can’t help but listen to the conversation that’s happening in front of him and it sounds like Ilya was just hired for something. 

He waits for him to finish the call, looking at him expectantly, until finally Ilya says, “I got hired to be the photographer for a small wedding happening in August. One of the grooms saw my photography page on Instagram and sent me a message a few days ago asking for my number but hadn’t called.”

“That’s so great, Ilya,” Shane tells him, smiling. 

“Yes,” Ilya smiles. “It will pay well and is for nice gay couple who got engaged not long ago and don’t want to wait long before having a wedding.” 

“That’s so nice,” Shane smiles softly.

Ilya asks him if he wants to play NHL so they play a few rounds against each other. Ilya even picks Montreal just to fuck with him.

He loves this feeling of being able to goof around with Ilya. He’s never had this with Elliott. 

They have some lunch and watch a movie before Shane has to get ready for work. He awkwardly says bye to Ilya before leaving the house and driving to work.

The shift is long and boring, and he wishes he was back at home playing video games with Ilya or just watching a movie and cuddling. Ilya’s all he can think about and it makes him feel like his decision should be made by this but he still has so many reservations about Ilya, knowing his past. 

What if Shane leaves Elliott, someone he’s been with for years, for Ilya, someone who probably wouldn’t stay with him longer than a night? He’d be left alone and heartbroken twice. 

Shane got a text from Elliott at some point in the early evening letting him know that he’s home. He told him he’ll be home late and he doesn’t have to wait up for him.

Shane finally gets home from work to a very quiet house. He puts his shoes away before walking inside and to the kitchen. Ilya must be asleep, that thought disappoints him only because he wanted to see him.

He makes his way to the stairs and sees that Ilya’s door is open. He goes to the washroom to open the light before walking back to look inside Ilya’s room, and doesn’t see him. 

He’s not here.

Where did he go? Is he at Svetlana’s again? Did he go hook up with her? Did he hook up with someone else? 

Shane starts to spiral before telling himself everything’s fine. He does his nighttime routine but before he leaves the bathroom, he texts Ilya.

Shane

Are you okay?

Shane goes back to his room to climb into bed next to a still sleeping Elliott, putting his phone on the bedside table. Still no text back from Ilya.

Shane tries his best to fall asleep.

*

Soon after Shane left for work, Ilya received a phone call from his brother. 

The phone call was quick— Papa mertv.

All Ilya can do is tell his brother to wait for him to arrive in Russia to handle the funeral arrangements. He doesn’t trust Alexei to do anything properly, nor can he even pay for it, so it’s per usual left for Ilya to handle.

He’s instantly on his phone looking up the first flights out of Boston to Moscow that won’t break his wallet, and he sees that he can actually get on a late flight tonight using his points so he quickly packs a bag, not needing much as he doesn’t plan to stay more than a few days tops, and is calling an Uber to the airport. 

He wants to text Shane to tell him he has to fly to Russia but he also doesn’t want to text him that his dad died. It doesn’t feel like a texting type of conversation. 

So Ilya makes his way through the airport after checking in, going through security then heading to his gate to wait for his flight to start boarding. He texts Svetlana to let her know since she’ll probably find out from her father anyway who is Ilya’s father’s friend.

Ilya doesn’t sleep on his first flight but once he’s on his connecting flight direct to Moscow, he’s able to get a bit of sleep. It’s a long journey and it’s nearing the end of the day when he arrives in Russia, heading right for his fathers house first. 

He lets himself in and sees that it’s exactly the same, but with a lot of different pill bottles on the coffee table. Ilya has no strength or mental capacity to do anything other than let Alexei know he’s here and will make the arrangements in the morning for the next day. He had sent out some emails before flying out here that he responded to while waiting for his connecting flight and he’s got a meeting set up the next morning to look at his fathers will with his lawyer and start making the arrangements with the funeral home. 

Right now, all Ilya can think about is speaking to Shane, who had called him while he was on the plane— his phone was off so he saw it when he turned it back on and couldn’t help but smile sweetly at the missed call. Shane’s never called him before and it warms his heart to know he’s thinking of him and probably wondering where he is. 

It’s late in Moscow so it should be mid-afternoon for Shane so he opens his text thread with him, smiling softly at his last text that he hasn’t answered yet and texts him back.

Shane

Are you okay?

Ilya

Are you alone?

Shane

Yes 

Ilya hits the FaceTime button because he misses Shane’s face and waits for it to connect.

Shane accepts the call and soon his face is filling the screen. He’s sitting on the couch with his glasses on and Ilya wonders if he was reading one of his boring hockey books, enjoying his day off. 

“Hi, are you okay?” Shane asks.

“I am now that I see you in your glasses,” Ilya tells him, smiling softly. 

Shane takes them off, putting them aside. “Where are you?” he asks. 

“Moscow,” Ilya answers before adding, “Put them back on please.”

“Your father—” Shane starts to say but stops like he’s unsure of what he was trying to say.

“Yes, dead,” Ilya finishes for him. 

“I’m sorry,” Shane says softly. “Are you okay?”

“I will be better when I see you in your glasses again,” Ilya teases, smiling at him softly. 

Shane smiles back, blushing before he puts them back on. “Happy?” he asks him. 

“Happier,” Ilya says simply. 

“I was worried about you,” Shane tells him, shyly. 

“You were?” Ilya asks, sitting down on the floor in front of the couch so he can prop his phone against a glass that was left on the coffee table. 

“Yes,” Shane blushes softly, he looks so cute in his white t-shirt and glasses, his longer hair falling onto his forehead. He wants to brush it away and kiss him so badly. “I got home and you weren’t here and then you didn’t answer my text. I thought maybe I—”

“You did not do anything wrong,” Ilya stops him. “I wanted to tell you but thought it would be weird to text that my father is dead,” he laughs awkwardly, making Shane let out a small laugh too. 

“I’m glad you called me,” Shane tells him. 

“Yes, me too,” Ilya says with a fond smile. “You are very cute.” Shane blushes again so Ilya adds, “Especially when you blush, which happens a lot. You cannot take compliments.”

Shane rolls his eyes at him and God, he’s such a brat. It drives Ilya crazy. 

“You do not know what it does to me when you roll your eyes like that,” Ilya adds.

“What does it do?” Shane asks, biting his bottom lip teasingly.

“You are a brat who needs to be taught a lesson. Want to fuck you so hard that you are begging for release but I will not give it until you apologize for being such a brat,” Ilya tells him, too tired to care that Shane technically still has a boyfriend.

Shane lets out a breath before he recovers enough to say, “You like it when I misbehave.”

“Only if I can punish you properly and I cannot, not until—” he says, stopping himself, not wanting to pressure Shane in any way.

“When will you be back? We should probably talk some things out,” Shane asks. 

“A few days, maybe. I am making arrangements in the morning,” Ilya lets him know. 

“You can call me, whenever,” Shane tells him. “I want to help if I can.”

“This helped,” Ilya smiles softly. “Just seeing your face.” He blushes again so Ilya adds, “The way you blush drives me crazy, Shane.”

“I like the way my name sounds in your voice,” Shane tells him.

Ilya groans, dropping his head to the coffee table making Shane chuckle, watching him through the phone. “You will murder me,” he tells him, lifting his head to see the cute smile on Shane’s face. 

“It must be late, are you tired?” Shane asks him.

“Kind of. Not really. Maybe,” Ilya says, unsure of how he feels. 

“You should get some rest. Call me tomorrow if you want,” Shane offers, shyly.

“I always want,” Ilya reassures him, trying not to let his fears stop him from letting Shane know how he feels about him. 

He’s blushing again and Ilya wishes he could reach through the screen to touch his cheeks. “Goodnight, Ilya,” Shane says softly. 

“Goodnight, Shane,” he says even though it’s midday for Shane. They smile at each other shyly before hanging up. 

Ilya sighs, consumed by the darkness and bleakness of his fathers empty house. He makes his way through the house he grew up in and to his old bedroom. He sets an alarm and then collapses on the bed, falling asleep immediately. 

The next day is spent making arrangements and they all get done. He’s able to get everything set up for the next day, the way his father wanted. He tells Alexei, who keeps calling him, what the plans are and tells him to stop calling and that he’ll see him at the funeral tomorrow.

While he’s at the cemetery to pick the tombstone and get the plot next to his father’s parents, he’s able to go visit his mother’s grave. He hasn’t been to her grave in years and it looks like no one has visited much. He cleans it up as much as he can, picking and tossing weeds out of the way and leaving fresh flowers for her. 

“Ya skuchayu po tebe, mama,” he says to her grave, touching the tombstone before leaving. 

He doesn’t need to be at her grave to talk to her, he does that every day anyway as he rubs the crucifix hanging around his neck absentmindedly. She already knows all about Shane— he has spent many evenings smoking cigarettes and talking to his mom. He knows she’s with him whenever he needs her, and that makes him feel better sometimes because he misses her a lot.

It’s late when he gets back to the house. He strips down and gets into bed, seeing the text he got from Shane earlier.

Shane

Thinking about you 

He smiles at the text and finally hearts the message. He also sees an unread text from Svetlana.

Sveta

Landed

Sveta

I’ll see you in the morning, tell me if you need anything ❤️

Ilya hearts both messages before falling asleep. He told her about his fathers death when he was at the airport and she was able to get here today. He’s glad he will have her with him at the funeral tomorrow.

He spends the morning of his fathers funeral smoking a few cigarettes, looking out at the city he grew up in, the city that would kill him for being in love with a man. 

He gets dressed in black pants and a black turtle neck shirt, and his crucifix showing above it. Svetlana and her father are there to greet him when he arrives, accepting the hug from his friend. He does his best to ignore his brother and his useless step-mother, staying by Svetlana’s side as much as he can.

The entire day is completely and utterly draining, on top of fighting with his brother at dinner. He tells him that he will open a trust fund for his niece— even though he’ll then have to dip into his savings but he would like for her to be taken care of— that she can access at the age of eighteen. And other than that, he wants no contact from him ever again. With their father gone, he has no reason to ever hear from his brother again. 

When he finally gets back to his father’s house, it’s so dark and depressing. Ilya feels this intense weight there and decides to go for a walk instead, needing some air. He walks for a while— maybe ten minutes, he’s not quite sure, before he finds himself near a small bridge. He walks under it as he pulls his phone out of his pocket to text Shane. The only one who can bring him any sort of comfort right now as he still doesn’t feel any better from today.

Ilya

Are you alone? Can I call you?

Shane

Yes

Ilya calls Shane, hearing it ring once before Shane’s answering with, “How are you?”

“Ok. Not good. Probably bad,” Ilya answers, letting the sound of Shane’s voice soothe him as he walks anxiously back and forth. 

“How’s your family?” Shane asks.

“At their worst,” he answers honestly. “My brother is, uh…” he trails off, unsure how to let Shane in on how his family is. “I don’t know, scared? It makes him terrible and it makes me terrible back.”

“Is it very upsetting?” Shane asks.

“Yes,” Ilya sighs. He tells Shane that he wishes maybe his dad could have known him. He’s always seen Ilya for who he wanted him to be, and not for who Ilya actually was. “I don’t know. I don’t know. English is too hard,” he says, feeling how tired he is as he leans against the wall under the small bridge. 

“I wish I spoke Russian,” Shane tells him.

Ilya nods and teasingly says, “Hmm, yeah, you could probably learn it in a week. No accent. Perfect. Bonjour,” throwing in the French that he knows Shane speaks. 

“That’s French, Ilya,” Shane laughs softly.

“Yeah, I know, Shane,” Ilya smiles fondly. 

“Where are you?” Shane asks him.

“I’m just walking. I needed to get out,” Ilya tells him. “You?”

“In my car, just pulled up at work,” Shane says and Ilya can’t help but smile imagining Shane sitting in his car on the phone with him as he’s supposed to start work. “Hey, uh, I have an idea. How about you tell me everything that’s on your mind, but in Russian? I won’t understand but maybe it’ll help.”

“Ok,” Ilya says, simply, ready to give it a try. He has things he wants to tell Shane but he either can’t find the words or he’s too afraid. There’s thoughts he has about his family that he needs to let out. So he does.

He starts telling Shane in Russian that he was only ever seen as an ATM to his brother and to his dad. How his dad only cared about making a hockey star in Russia. He took something fun for Ilya growing up that was linked to his mother and turned it sour. He was expected to play professionally for Russian team and be happy about it. He did everything that was expected of him and more. He made sure they had the clothes they like, and that the food was perfect. He paid for everything and it still wasn’t enough for them. His brother always hated him and would never forgive him for just being who he is. He just couldn’t handle it all anymore so he left. He had finally been pushed to the limit and he cut ties with them and fled. He fled to Boston and left them behind. His father got sick and he was there to see him, pay for his bills, but he couldn’t stay and that kills him. It kills him that his brother was there but he just— he couldn’t live that life that his father planned for him. He’s afraid he has no one anymore but he tells Shane he knows he has Svetlana because she loves him and has always been there for him, and he loves her too but not like—

“But not like I love you,” he says in Russian. “That the worst fucking part of all of this is… that all I want is you. It’s always you. I’m so in love with you, and I don’t know what to do about it,” he says it. He actually tells Shane that he’s in love with him. Granted it’s in Russian and Shane can’t understand him but he said it. 

It feels like a weight has been lifted off of his chest and he feels better than he did before he called Shane.

“Ok, I’m done,” he tells Shane in English so he understands.

“Do you feel better?” Shane asks in his soft voice that feels so comforting right now.

“Yes,” Ilya sighs contently. “Thank you.”

“Maybe you could teach me Russian someday,” Shane says, hopeful, and it squeezes Ilya’s heart.

“Yeah, ok, only useful phrases,” Ilya teases.

“Like what?” Shane asks.

“I don’t know, like harder, please, yes sir,” he teases.

Shane scoffs, chuckling softly and it makes Ilya smile. “Fuck you,” Shane tells him. 

“No more like fuck me please,” he pushes once more because he likes flirting with Shane, he likes teasing him. He starts walking again, feeling better to walk back to the house that he has one night left in before he flies home. Home to Shane. 

“How about I wish you were here right now?” Shane asks and Ilya stops, his heart pounding in his chest, feeling so much love for this man. 

“I wish I was too,” Ilya tells him in Russian. 

He continues to walk when Shane reluctantly tells him, “I have to go, my shift started a few minutes ago.”

Ilya gasps softly. “You are late to something because of me?” he asks.

“This was more important,” Shane tells him and God! Ilya feels like he’s going to die with how much he loves this man.

“I will be home soon, my flight is in the morning. I—” Ilya tells him before contemplating for a beat before he just says, “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me too,” Shane says. 

“You’re blushing, aren’t you?” he teases him. 

“Okay, bye, Ilya,” Shane says as Ilya laughs.

“Bye, Shane,” Ilya says back before Shane says another quick bye before he hangs up. 

Ilya’s mind was clouded by his father’s funeral, the fight with his brother, how he was a disappointment to his father, and he couldn’t even step inside the house he grew up in, but now, as he walks back there, his mind is filled with thoughts of Shane. 

Ilya fell in love with his old friend and roommate's boyfriend. 

He didn’t plan this. He didn’t want to do this. But he can’t help but want Shane. 

He just hopes that Shane is feeling the same way he does and doesn’t still want to be with Elliott. Ilya’s not sure he can handle that heart break.

*

Living with Elliott for the first time, just the two of them, the past few days while Ilya’s in Moscow, has not been easy. 

Shane can see that would be classified as a problem and he shouldn’t be with Elliott. 

He’s just afraid that if he ends it with Elliott who loves him to be with Ilya who’s never been in a relationship before and Ilya breaks his heart, he won’t be able to handle that. It’s a risk that he’s not sure he’s strong enough to take. 

Shane needs to speak with Ilya about how they feel before he can do anything about Elliott and that might be selfish but so much has been taken away from him that he wants to be a little selfish now and keep what he can. 

He goes through the motions until Friday when he knows Ilya’s flying back to Boston. Shane works that night so he won’t see him until he gets home after two in the morning. 

So Shane doesn’t expect it when he sees Ilya making his way towards him at the bar, a smile on his face and looking just so fucking good at around eleven o’clock.

“Uh, hi,” he says, smiling widely when he approaches, standing on the other side of the bar. 

Ilya sits down on the stool, smiling back. “Hi,” he says, simply.

“What are you doing here? When did you get in?” Shane asks, confused. 

“Why? Are you not happy to see me?” Ilya asks, pouting teasingly. 

Shane rolls his eyes at him then sees the look on his face. Fuck, it makes Shane feel insane that Ilya thinks he’s a brat who should be punished by being pleasured too much when he rolls his eyes. The look on his face is telling him he’s thinking the same thing right now. 

“Of course I am,” Shane says. 

“Good,” Ilya smiles, he looks around like he’s realizing there could be people they know well here. There is— Rose working the other side of the bar right now. 

Ilya looks at him with a soft smile, seemingly pleased that there isn’t anyone else here. “I landed around eight. Went home to shower and change. I came here to see you,” Ilya says like he’s listing off the things he did off a checklist. 

Shane’s heart is beating faster, and he feels all fluttery and hot inside. Ilya thought about him first after getting home and to just be shown so much attention and— 

Love. The word pops into Shane’s head. 

Oh. 

“What are you thinking?” Ilya asks, snapping Shane’s eyes up to his. “You are blushing, tell me,” he adds with a cheeky smile.  

“Nothing,” Shane dismisses, clearing his throat, looking over at Rose who’s still talking to a customer. He looks back at Ilya who’s sitting back in his chair, looking at him almost too intensely. It's a good thing there’s a bar between them because Shane wants to climb onto his lap. “Can I get you anything to drink?” Shane asks.

Ilya smiles before leaning forward again, arms on the bar. “A beer,” he says. 

Shane nods before actually working at his place of employment and getting him a drink. He opens the bottle and places it on the bar in front of Ilya but before he can remove his hand from it, Ilya’s hand covers his hand on the bottle. He keeps his hand on his for a moment before they pull back, Ilya taking the bottle from him. 

Shane watches Ilya pick up the bottle and take a sip, winking at him over it. Shane lets out a soft laugh, smiling at him. 

“Excuse me?” Shane hears from a woman to his left so he looks over at one of the ladies who is sitting in a group of five near the bar. 

He excuses himself from Ilya to attend to his customer. Shane continues to work while Ilya sits at the end of the bar, sipping his beer, and watching Shane work, shooting him cute smiles. How is he supposed to keep working for the next like three hours in these conditions? 

Shane needs to speak to Ilya first and he won’t be able to when they get home because Elliott is most likely at home, asleep in his bed and he definitely can’t wait until tomorrow. 

Around one, when it’s finally starting to die down at the bar, Shane asks Rose if she’ll be okay for a bit so he can take a small break. She tells him to go so he walks over to the end of the bar to see Ilya. 

“Can we go talk in the back?” he asks him.

Ilya nods, standing up. Shane leaves from behind the bar and heads to the employee door, pushing it open with Ilya right behind him. Shane walks the small hall past Artie’s office and the employee bathroom to the small room where everyone on shift leaves their personal belongings. He walks in and watches as Ilya follows him in, closing the door behind him gently while he has his back to it. 

“I thought we should talk,” Shane tells him. 

“Ok,” Ilya says, his eyes looking at him like he wants to do the opposite of talk, as he steps closer to Shane, he keeps going until Shane finds himself turned around and backed up against the door. Fuck.

“This is such a bad idea,” Shane says softly. 

Ilya’s close to him, like he can feel his breath. “What is?” Ilya asks before he reaches his hand up to cup Shane’s jaw, lifting his face to his. Shane’s body gives in, kissing Ilya softly before Ilya deepens it, slipping his tongue into the next kiss, his hand still on his face before he moves it slowly down to his chest.

Shane moans into the kiss before his mind finally catches up to the moment and he pushes Ilya away gently, keeping his hands on his chest until he’s arms length away. He drops his arms, feeling breathless, looking at him. Ilya has a smirk on his face and Shane laughs softly. 

Shane remembers why he wanted to come in here in the first place so he says, “We really do need to talk, Ilya.” Ilya looks at him, waiting for him to say what he needs to talk about. Right. “Um— it’s not just me. You feel it too. There’s something between us,” he says. 

“Uh, yeah,” Ilya says, nodding, as Shane continues, “But I’m scared.” Ilya looks at him, waiting to hear more. “I’m scared that you just want to fuck me because I was unattainable. I’m scared that you can’t be monogamous. I’m scared that you and Svetlana will decide to just get married and have beautiful children together and you’ll forget all about me. I’m scared—”

“Shane— Shane,” Ilya says his name a second time when he doesn't hear him the first. Shane stops speaking and focuses his eyes back on Ilya, on his lips then up to his eyes that are searching his when they make contact. “You are having panic attack,” he says.

Shane lets out a soft laugh before letting out a breath. Ilya steps closer to him and puts his hands on Shane’s shoulders, looking into his eyes. “I’m scared too,” Ilya tells him. Ilya’s scared? 

“You could choose to be with him and break my heart,” he adds, looking at him with sad eyes and a soft smile.

Break his heart?

“I— what?” he asks, confused.

“I like you,” Ilya tells him, smiling softly. “Probably too much.”

Shane smiles at him, he’ll never get tired of hearing that. “I like you too,” Shane says back.

“I have not ever been in a serious relationship but I can commit— to you,” Ilya tells him, a shy smile on his face. “So you don’t need to be scared of that, I don’t think. What else? Oh, Svetlana and I would make beautiful babies, you are correct,” he adds, teasingly. “But it is not what either of us want, so you do not have to be scared of that either. And none of this—” he stops to run his hands down his shoulders to take his hands in his before he squeezes them, “—is just to fuck you. You mean much more to me than just that, Shane Hollander.” 

Jesus fucking Christ, Shane might just die right here, right now, holding onto Ilya’s hands.

Ilya leans in closer, his lips ghosting near his neck before he says by his ear, “But I do really want to fuck you.”

Shane lets out a soft breath, feeling how heavy his breaths are becoming as his body reacts easily to Ilya’s. He can’t give in again. He’s cheated on his boyfriend enough, he needs to talk to him before he can give into Ilya again. 

Shane looks into Ilya’s eyes before he says, “I need to talk to Elliott before anything else can happen.”

Ilya smiles at him brightly and Shane wants to kiss him so badly. “Okay,” he says, nodding. 

“Okay,” Shane repeats before Ilya squeezes his hands again then lets him go.

Shane turns around and feels Ilya right on his back, his hand on the doorknob stalling for a moment before finally opening it. They walk out and Shane goes to clean some tables since Rose seems to be fine alone behind the bar. Ilya sits in his same spot and watches Shane before Rose brings Ilya a water bottle. 

Ilya stays while Rose and Shane close up before Artie’s daughter, Lena, makes her way from his office to take the money from the cash. She tells them to head home and she’ll lock up. 

Shane walks out with Rose and Ilya and when Rose hugs him she whispers to him, “Gonna need the full tea on whatever this is soon,” before letting him go. “Bye, boys,” she coos before getting in her car. 

Ilya walks with Shane to his car and before Shane gets in, Ilya brings his hand up to gently caress his thumb against Shane’s cheek, touching his freckles. Ilya smiles at him softly before going to his car. The two of them drive back separately, pulling up at the house right around the same time. 

They get inside to a quiet house, both of them heading up the small flight of stairs. Ilya takes Shane’s hand in his for a moment, squeezing it before letting it go and going into his bedroom. Shane wishes he could follow him into his room. 

The next morning, Shane wakes up in bed alone. He checks his phone and sees a text from Elliott.

Elliott

Went to the gym, didn’t want to wake you

Shane puts his phone back down before getting out of bed. A workout could be good right now. He gets dressed and heads down to Ilya’s gym. He’s there for maybe ten minutes before Ilya joins him. The two of them do their workouts separately, smiling shyly at each other every so often, until Ilya asks Shane to spot him.

Once they’re both done, Shane makes his smoothie while Ilya makes himself some coffee. “I can make us breakfast,” Ilya offers, leaning against the counter.

“Thanks but I’m okay with just the smoothie,” Shane tells him after he puts the small blender to dry from washing it. He looks at Ilya and adds, “I need to speak to Elliott when he gets back and I’m kind of nervous, don’t think food will help,” he chuckles awkwardly.

“It’ll be okay,” Ilya tells him, reassuringly.

Shane nods, smiling back at him softly. He excuses himself to go shower first then while he changes, he can hear Ilya in the shower. They both put on shorts and t-shirts and are just sitting on the couch, the TV playing the show Friends on low volume. 

Elliott gets home before noon, and he looks showered too, he must have showered at the gym. He drops his bag to the floor and walks over to join them. 

After a minute or so, Ilya gets up to go outside and smoke, leaving Shane alone to have this conversation. 

Fuck, okay, here we go.

They’re sitting near each other on the couch so Shane shifts to fully face him and says, “Elliott, we need to talk.”

Elliott faces him, looking at him skeptically. “What is it?” he asks him.

“Do—” he stutters, trying to find what he wants to say. “Do you love me?” 

“What? Of course, I do,” Elliott asks, confused, brows furrowed. “What is this about, Shane?”

“Since I moved here it feels like you don’t even want to be in this relationship,” Shane tells him. 

“Me?” he asks with a scoff. “I could say the same about you! You’ve been checked out of this since right after you got here. Is there someone else?”

“Wh—what?” he stutters again. 

“I’m not an idiot, Shane, don’t fucking lie to me,” Elliott says, getting visibly more upset.

Shane looks around for a second and spots Ilya sitting in one of the chairs of his little patio set— a small table and two chairs— that he put outside when the snow melted. 

He looks back at Elliott and before he can say anything, Elliott asks, “Oh my God, it’s him isn’t it? It’s fucking Rozanov?” Shane shakes his head, how is this getting so derailed? “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Shane, stop this shit.”

“What does that mean?” Shane asks.

“Is it him? Did you fuck him?” Elliott asks instead, his eyes aren’t the soft, kind eyes he initially fell for. The eyes he’s looking at him with have a darkness to them right now.

“No,” Shane says immediately, shaking his head. “No, nothing like that.” 

“But something happened,” Elliott says.

Shane doesn’t see the point in lying. “We did kiss,” he tells him honestly.

“I fucking knew it!” Elliott says loudly, standing up and towering over where Shane is sitting. Shane instantly feels small. “You fucking cheated on me! After everything I did for you! I helped you through your fucking recovery!” 

As Elliott’s yelling at him, the door in the kitchen opens and closes before Ilya’s making his way into the living room. Shane makes eye contact with Ilya around Elliott and Ilya asks, “Are you okay?” 

Elliott turns around like he finally realized someone else is in the room, and directs his anger to him next. “Don’t you fucking ask him if he’s okay, he’s MY boyfriend,” he screams in his face, moving around the coffee table to get closer to Ilya.

Shane gets up and says, “You have no interest in even being my boyfriend!” getting Elliott’s eyes back on him before continuing, “Why the fuck are you acting like you care now? Where have you been the last few months that I’ve been here for you?” 

“I’m sorry I can’t be home with you all day while you do nothing but wait to go work in a bar! I have a fucking career that I work really hard for,” Elliott spits back.

“I don’t give a fuck!” Shane spits back. “It doesn’t give you the right to basically fucking ignore me for six months.”

“So what— you just go and kiss my oldest friend because you feel ignored?” Elliott asks, annoyed.

“That’s not—” Shane shakes his head. “I tried— I tried really fucking hard to make this relationship between us work. I fucking moved to another country for you and you don’t seem to care one bit.” No one says anything for a moment and Shane feels so drained, he adds, “I’m done.”

“You’re what?” Elliott asks him. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” Shane tells him. “I thought that what we had was love but it’s not. It never has been. You just wanted a project to fix.”

Elliott laughs once, like he finds this all so amusing. It’s kind of sinister. “Fuck this,” Elliott then says, shaking his head. “I don’t need you. I never have,” he spits.

Even though he realized he’s not actually in love with Elliott, that still hurts to hear. 

“Hey asshole,” Ilya says, pulling their attention to him. “I want you out of my house now. You have thirty minutes to pack your shit, leave the key, and get the fuck out of here.”

Elliott scoffs, “Whatever. I hope this was worth it,” he says, looking at Shane.

“You are not to speak to him,” Ilya says, stepping forward. 

Elliott backs away, heading for the stairs. 

“Hey,” Ilya says softly to Shane, drawing his eyes back to him and away from where Elliott went. Shane looks at him and can’t help but let the tears fall. Ilya pulls him into his arms, hugging him tightly. “Is okay,” he says softly, rubbing his back gently. 

Shane’s face is buried in Ilya’s neck and he’s sure he’s leaving tear streaks on his t-shirt. He pulls his head back, wiping at his eyes, Ilya’s hands on his waist now. 

“Sorry,” Shane says, sniffling.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Ilya tells him, a soft smile on his lips. “Stay here, ok? I will check he is packing his own stuff.” 

Shane nods and sits back down on the couch as Ilya makes his way to stand in the doorway of the bedroom, watching Elliott pack. 

Once he’s done, Ilya follows him down the stairs. Elliott has his two luggage’s that he moved in with as he gets to the entryway. He tosses some of his shoes there into a backpack. 

Shane makes his way over, standing next to Ilya who holds his hand out asking for his key back. Elliott smacks it hard onto Ilya’s palm before he looks at them both and says, “You two deserve each other,” before he opens the door and leaves. 

Ilya goes to the door to watch as Elliott drives away before he closes the door and locks it. He looks at Shane and asks, “Are you okay?”

Shane shrugs. “I will be,” he tells him.

“Nothing he said is true,” Ilya says as he comes closer. “Not to me,” he adds softly. 

Shane blushes, smiling softly, and realizing that he can now, he leans forward and presses a small soft kiss to Ilya’s lips. They’re both smiling into it too much but it’s still perfect. 

Shane pulls back, still blushing, and says, “I should make sure he didn’t take anything of mine.”

Ilya nods and follows Shane upstairs. Shane sees the state of the room— there’s stuff everywhere— fucking asshole.

Ilya helps him clean the bedroom and they manage to get it back to normal— just without all of Elliott’s stuff everywhere. “All yours now,” Ilya tells him, smiling shyly. “I mean, if you want it,” he adds, looking nervous.

Shane hasn’t thought past breaking up with Elliott. What does this mean for him? Does he live here with Ilya? Should he move back to Montreal? “I—“ he stutters. “Um, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.”

“You’re not supposed to do anything. You should do what makes you happy,” Ilya tells him sweetly.

He’s right. Why is he thinking about what he should do instead of what he wants to do?

“I’m supposed to go to work tonight,” Shane groans.

“You can try to get your shift covered, or just call out—“ Ilya offers but Shane dismisses it.

“No, it’s fine. I think it’ll be good for me to be at work. Staying here after all of that— just feels too intense,” Shane tries to articulate how he’s feeling.

“I understand,” Ilya says with a soft smile. He looks away shyly to say, “Plus I will also be there so you know, that helps,” before looking back at Shane with a smirk.

Shane can’t help but actually giggle. It’s in that second that he realizes that what he feels for Ilya— these new, exciting, passionate feelings he’s never had before— is love.

This is what love is supposed to feel like, not what he had with Elliott, because these feelings are completely different than what he ever felt for Elliott. 

Shane looks at Ilya and fuck, he really wants to kiss him— his eyes drifting down to his lips. Ilya steps closer to him, closing the distance between them. Shane reaches his right hand out to touch Ilya’s side before Ilya brings his right hand up to Shane’s chin. He tilts Shane’s face up, holding his jaw in place. Ilya slowly leans in and Shane closes the gap, needing to feel Ilya’s lips on his without holding any guilt over it.

Shane moans into the kiss as Ilya deepens it, his tongue moving against his. Shane grabs onto Ilya’s sides, pulling him closer to him. Ilya’s hand holds the side of his face as the other touches his chest. Ilya’s moaning into the kiss and Shane feels dizzy. He’s already so hard and all they’ve done is kiss. 

Ilya brings his hands down to lift Shane into his arms like he did the first time they kissed. Shane moans into the kiss before moving his lips to Ilya’s neck as he carries him out of the room to his bedroom. He’s put onto the bed gently before they both crawl back onto it, Ilya above him, looking at him and Shane feels all fluttery inside. 

Ilya kisses him, pressing his body against his as he lays between his legs, his hands on the mattress on either side of his arms. Shane’s feet on the mattress, his legs pressed against Ilya’s waist. Shane runs his hands up Ilya’s shoulders to the back of his neck, holding him close, moaning into the kiss. 

Ilya pulls back back enough to say, “Fuck, Hollander,” his forehead against his. 

“Please,” Shane moans, grinding himself against Ilya. 

“Please what?” Ilya asks, looking at him. 

Shane looks into his eyes. Ilya won’t let him get away with not using his words. “I need—” he says softly. 

“What?” Ilya pushes.

“You— I need you,” Shane tells him, feeling breathless. 

Ilya kisses him hard again, his tongue in his mouth. Shane sucks on it before Ilya kisses down his neck and chest. He lifts at the bottom of his shirt, pushing it up before pulling back enough to help Shane get it off, leaving it on the bed next to him. Ilya kisses his chest and leaves wet kisses all the way down his body. 

“Shit,” Shane moans as Ilya starts to pull down Shane’s shorts, kissing his hipbones. 

Ilya smirks up at him before pulling them off with his briefs and tossing them aside before he takes Shane into his mouth. “Oh my God,” Shane moans, looking up at the ceiling before looking back down at Ilya who’s working his mouth around him like this is his last meal. “Fuck, Ilya,” he adds, his hand moving down to run his fingers in Ilya’s curls. Ilya’s right hand reaches up to grab his pec, squeezing it before he runs it back down his body.

Ilya moans around him, sucking him down, his hands now holding his thighs on either side of his head. Shane feels like he’s already close. “Shit, Ilya,” Shane moans. “I’m close, I can’t—” he tells him.

Ilya continues to suck, not stopping until Shane moans, “Ilya, fuck, fuck,” as he comes hard down his throat. Ilya takes it all, slowly pulling off and kissing Shane’s thigh and smacking his stomach once gently as he moves beside him on the bed, laughing softly.

Shane turns to face him, smiling widely. “That was so—” he starts to say before leaning down and kissing him, deepening it. Ilya moans into the kiss as Shane moves to get between his legs, wanting to repay the favor— it’s been all he could think about for weeks actually.

Shane pushes Ilya’s shirt off before getting him out of his shorts. Kissing his way down his body, all he can think about is getting to mark every inch of him. He decides to start with leaving a small hickey right on his hip. Shane smiles at his work before meeting Ilya’s hungry gaze. 

Shane takes Ilya’s cock in his hand, seeing how hard he is for him and how he’s leaking. Shane’s mouth waters before he takes him into his mouth, feeling Ilya’s hand on his face guiding him. Shane moans when the full weight of his big, hard cock is on his tongue.

“Fuck, Hollander,” Ilya moans, eyes on his cock moving in and out of Shane’s mouth. “You’re such a little cock slut, aren’t you, moya lyubov’?”

Fuck, the Russian. Shane’s moaning louder around Ilya’s cock. 

“Da, just like that, Hollander, fuck,” Ilya moans as Shane picks up the speed, moving his head up and down, swallowing around him. “I’m close,” he tells him.

Shane rolls Ilya’s balls in his hand as he sucks him down to the base, moaning filthily around him. Ilya’s hands are holding the sides of Shane’s face as he comes hard down his throat, moaning deeply. 

Shane pulls off gently, laying down on the mattress next to him. Ilya laughs softly, throwing his head back onto the pillow, turning his head to look at Shane. He turns to face him, leaning on his elbow, and kisses him softly on the lips. “You’re perfect,” he says between kisses. 

Shane blushes, bringing his hands up to hold Ilya’s face to his, kissing him back lazily. 

They spend the next few hours alternating between lazily making out to fully making out. Shane jerks them both off. They go back to lazily making out until they decide to take a shower together where they take turns blowing the other before getting out. They get dressed for work and Ilya cooks them dinner. They eat together, talk, and get to genuinely just enjoy each other now with no restrictions. It feels really nice when Ilya takes his hand in his hand when they finish eating and just holds it while telling him a story about his mom. 

Shane drives them to work since Ilya tends to drive more, he thought it would be nice for him to drive. Ilya holds his hand the entire drive and it feels so nice to have his hand in Ilya’s lap like this. Even just holding Ilya’s hand erupts butterflies inside of him. 

They walk into work for eight, Rose is already there behind the bar. Shane gets behind the bar, hugging her, while Ilya grabs his work jacket. 

Ilya walks back out and winks at him as he passes by him at the bar, heading back to the door. 

“Okay, what is going on?” Rose asks when Shane turns to look at her. 

Shane blushes and he knows he can’t lie to her. “I broke up with Elliott. And now, Ilya and I are sort of— I don’t know,” he tells her.

“When did this happen!” she asks, smacking his arm lightly, shocked. 

“The breakup? Today actually,” he tells her.

“No! You and Ilya! I mean— not that I’m that surprised, he’s always liked you,” Rose tells him.

“What? What do you mean always liked me?” he asks. 

“I heard from Hayden who was told by Wyatt that Rozy’s been crushing on you since he first saw Brooks post about you,” Rose tells her. 

Shane’s mouth drops. Ilya has had a crush on him for three years?! 

“There’s no way,” Shane says, shaking his head.

“And why not? Hmm? You’re a catch!” Rose smacks him again. “Forget just being like the most beautiful man I’ve ever met in person. You also have a smoking bod, you’re kind, you’re intelligent, you’re kind of a weirdo but in the best way,” she says, hyping him up.

“Thank you,” he blushes. “But no— no way Ilya has liked me for three years, that's just—” he shakes his head. 

“Whatever you say,” Rose says. 

It starts to get busy so they stop chitchatting and get to serving. 

Before the live band goes on, Svetlana, Wyatt, JJ, Hayden, and Jackie make their way into the bar. They come to the bar to say hi to him and Rose before Rose prepares them some pitchers of beer. They sit and drink, watching the band as he and Rose work the bar, cleaning up any tables that have left, and Ilya stays by the door. 

At ten, when the band is packing up, Ilya makes his way over to the bar, leaning over it to greet Shane who smiles at him. He hands Ilya a bottle of water and he touches Shane’s hand a moment too long before taking the bottle from him. 

“What’s going on here?” Hayden asks as he walks up to the bar next to them, pointing between them. 

“What do you want, Pike?” Ilya asks, eyeing him.

“Something happened, didn’t it?” Hayden asks, ignoring Ilya. “Shane?” he asks, eyeing him. God, how do these new friends even know that he’s not a great liar— everyone except Elliott who didn’t realize Shane had been lying to him for months.

“I broke up with Elliott. I’m uh— I’m single now,” Shane tells him. 

“Oh, are you single?” Ilya asks, teasing him.

“For now,” Shane says back with a small smirk on his lips.

Hayden makes a fake gag noise before saying, “Not surprised by this. Rozanov looks at you with heart eyes.” 

“Heart eyes?” Shane questions, turning to look at Ilya, smiling.

“I do not know what he is talking about,” Ilya brushes it off, smiling softly.

“So what happened? Did you— oh my God, did you two fuck?” Hayden asks, getting a bit louder now. Shane can see their friends looking over at them to see what they’re missing out on.

“No,” he says at the same time as Ilya. “No, we kissed a couple times before I broke up with Elliott today,” Shane adds context.

Jackie sidles up to Hayden and asks what’s going on over here so Hayden says, “These two are together now.”

“Well—“ Shane says quickly. “I just broke up with Elliott today. And technically I haven’t been asked anything yet so…” he trails off, chancing a glance over at Ilya.

Ilya smirks at him, before looking at the Pike’s. “I need to get back to work,” he says, before looking at Shane and winking. 

“Right, alright, Roz,” Hayden says as Ilya walks back to the front door. 

Shane gets back to work before going over to see his friends. They all tell him that they couldn’t stand Elliott but didn’t tell him anything because they were together. And that they’re glad he likes Ilya because he’s a good guy who really likes you. Shane really likes Ilya so it feels like he’s floating hearing Ilya’s longtime friends tell him that he feels the same way about him. 

It’s a little quiet so Shane goes over to the door to see Ilya, smiling softly. “Hey,” he says softly.

“Hi,” Ilya smiles back. “How are you?” he asks him, leaning in a bit.

“Good,” Shane says, stepping closer to him, leaving just a few inches between them. 

Ilya smiles, leaning in to kiss him softly and Shane melts into it. He only pulls away when he can hear his friends making noises at them, drawing attention. 

Shane blushes, smiling at Ilya. God, he really can’t wait to jump his bones. 

They finish up their shift, Shane driving them back home, his hand in Ilya’s hand on his lap. Ilya kisses his hand a few times, even leaves a small kiss to his pulse point on his wrist. That soothes Shane’s nerves, making him feel much more relaxed. 

He pulls into the driveway, and Ilya leads them inside. Once inside with the door closed and locked, Ilya presses Shane up against the wall next to the door, his hands touching his chest as he slots his leg between Shane’s thighs, pressing against his dick. Shane lets his head thud against the wall gently as he lets out a breath, letting Ilya just consume him. Ilya’s hand wraps around Shane’s throaat gently as he lifts his head to kiss him, licking into his mouth. Shane moans into the kiss, his hands grabbing onto his waist, pulling him harder against him. 

He needs more.

Ilya’s hand moves up into Shane’s hair, pulling at him gently so that he has access to his neck. “Yes,” Shane breathes out, loving the way Ilya has a fistful of hair and is sucking on his neck like he’s a vampire and Shane’s a human he can’t resist. Shane can feel the mark Ilya leaves on his skin when he pulls away. 

Shane needs Ilya to fuck him. 

He needs to feel Ilya deep inside of him now.

“Need you to fuck me,” Shane says when they make eye contact. “Please,” he moans softly. 

Ilya kisses him hard on the lips, his hand holding his face, devouring him. Shane feels dizzy with desire.

Ilya pulls back from the kiss, dropping his hand to take Shane’s hand in his and they make their way upstairs and back into Ilya’s bedroom. 

*

Ilya had turned the lamp in the corner of his room on before leaving so the room is softly illuminated as they make their way inside. 

Ilya turns to look at Shane, the back of his legs now touching the bed. “Take off your clothes,” he tells him as he lifts his own shirt off. 

He watches as Shane takes off his shirt and folds it, putting it down on the chair near Ilya’s bed, before doing the same with his pants. Ilya smiles fondly as he sits on the bed, naked, watching Shane, his own clothes discarded on the floor. 

Shane walks towards him and stands in front of where he’s laying back on his elbows on the bed. “Come here,” Ilya tells him, before scooting back on the bed, making room for Shane to get on. 

Ilya quickly gets on top of Shane and between his legs, their cocks touching as he presses his pelvis into him, leaning over to kiss him. Shane’s hands hold his face gently but firmly in place as he works his tongue in his mouth against his. 

Their cocks get harder as they grind against each other. Ilya pulls back from the kiss to look into Shane’s eyes, and asks, “Do you want?” 

Shane smiles up at him softly, and says, “Yes, I want,” teasingly.

Ilya laughs softly as he leans back in to kiss him. “Are you sure?” he asks between kisses. 

Shane pulls back to look at him when he says, “I’m sure.”

Ilya kisses him again softly before leaning over to get the lube and a condom from the drawer of his bedside table. He puts them both on the mattress next to Shane’s hip before he kisses him again, trailing his lips down to his neck, kissing the mark he left on his neck, before kissing down his body, taking his hard cock into his mouth.

Shane moans, his hand reaching down to touch Ilya, landing on his shoulder. Ilya reaches his left hand up to squeeze Shane’s pec— fuck, he loves his tits so much, they fit perfectly in his hand. Ilya slowly pulls off of his cock, moving his lips lower, sucking his balls into his mouth. 

“Fuck, Ilya,” Shane moans. 

Ilya pulls off with a pop before he moves down so that he can put Shane’s legs together and lift them up. Shane holds his legs as Ilya circles his rim with his tongue. 

“Fuck,” Shane moans at the contact. Ilya dives his tongue in, needing to taste more of him on his tongue. He moans, tasting Shane so deeply. 

Ilya pulls off to slick up his fingers before circling Shane’s hole, sinking one finger in, both of them moaning. Ilya pushes Shane’s legs down and he opens them around him so that Ilya can lean over him to kiss him, shoving his tongue in his mouth, making Shane taste himself on his tongue. Ilya works his finger inside of him as he shoves his tongue in Shane’s mouth, adding a second finger and working him open, grazing against his prostate.

“Ilya, please—” Shane moans, arching his back as Ilya rubs directly on his sweet spot. His hands are fisted in the sheets beneath him as he grinds up into him and back down on Ilya’s fingers. 

“Tell me,” Ilya tells him, kissing his neck softly. 

“Please fuck me,” Shane tells him. “I need you inside of me, baby, please,” he moans as Ilya presses harder on his prostate. 

The pet name driving Ilya nearly over the edge. “Fuck,” he moans before he gently removes his fingers. He puts the condom on and then adds a bit more lube to his hard, aching cock, before lining himself up with Shane’s hole. Ilya looks at the man underneath him with love in his eyes, disbelieving this is where he’s choosing to be. He smiles at him softly and says, “You are so beautiful, my Shane.”

Shane takes Ilya’s face in his hands and kisses him softly on the lips before deepening it. Ilya pushes into Shane, pushing past his tight rim, and sinks into him as he looks at him and sees him letting his head fall back into the pillow as he moans. Ilya kisses his jaw as he bottoms out, before he kisses down to his neck. “Ok?” he asks softly, checking in.

Shane nods, forehead against his. “Yeah,” he answers. “Need more, please.”

Say no more.

Ilya slowly pulls out of Shane until just the head of his cock is inside of him before he slams back into him. Shane moans loudly, arching his back, his hands gripping at Ilya’s thighs. Ilya fucks him the way he’s imagined too many times in his dreams but nothing could ever compare to how it feels to actually be buried inside of Shane Hollander.

“You feel so good, fuck, Hollander,” Ilya moans into his ear, trailing his lips across his jaw to his lips. Shane moans into the kiss, hips moving, matching every one of Ilya’s thrusts. “Turn around,” he says against his lips, pulling away slowly, gently. 

Once Ilya pulls out and backs up a bit, giving Shane the room to turn around, giving himself over to Ilya. He positions himself behind Shane, lining himself back up with his hole and pushing into him. 

Shane moans, moving back and forth onto Ilya’s cock. Ilya fucks him harder, deeper, roaming his hand up Shane’s back, pushing him down into the mattress. “Beautiful,” he says again, leaning over his back to kiss the scar on his shoulder. 

He lifts himself back up, staying on his knees as he grips onto Shane’s hips and fucks him hard. Shane moans into the pillow as Ilya gently touches his face, fucking into him deeper. He moves his hands over to Shane’s hips, driving into him. 

“Fuck, you’re so tight—” he moans, fucking him harder, the whimpers Shane is making driving him closer to the edge. 

Shane moans loudly, Ilya looks over him and is he— “Are you—” 

“I’m coming,” Shane moans. 

“Oh God, Shane,” Ilya moans, fucking him harder through his orgasm as he comes hard inside of him. He slows his movements, bringing his hand back up to touch Shane’s face, pushing his hair out of his face. 

They maneuver themselves where Shane’s laying on his side with Ilya still inside of him. Ilya kisses right above Shane’s arm pit before leaving an open mouth kiss on his nipple. He gently pulls out of him and removes the condom, tying it off before climbing out of bed. He touches Shane’s leg as he walks around the bed to the washroom to toss the condom and get a warm washcloth to clean Shane off before getting into bed next to him, leaning back in his arms.

“That was so fuckin’ hot,” Shane laughs softly. 

“Worth the wait?” Ilya asks, looking up into his eyes. 

Shane leans forward, kissing him softly on the lips before kissing him softly on the head. Ilya smiles at him, so badly wanting to tell him how much he loves him. 

Not yet. 

“Do you want to go shower?” Ilya asks him, smiling at him fondly.

“We probably should,” Shane says. 

They take a shower, washing each other under the hot water. When they get out, Shane uses the washroom to do his nighttime routine while Ilya changes his sheets. Ilya tosses his clothes from the floor and his towel into his hamper before he gets into bed, under the fresh sheets.

Shane walks back in, towel still wrapped around his waist. Ilya pats the bed next to him and Shane blushes as he walks over to the bed. Ilya leans forward to undo Shane’s towel, letting it fall before Shane climbs in next to him.

Ilya kisses his shoulder and brings his face up to kiss Shane’s lips softly. “Sleep here with me?” he asks shyly, looking into his eyes.

“Okay,” Shane says, smiling. 

“Okay,” Ilya repeats, matching his smile.

He leans over to close the light before they get lower in bed, Ilya pulling Shane to him. Shane lays his head on Ilya’s chest, Ilya running his hand up and down Shane’s back softly. “Ya tebya lyublyu,” he mumbles against Shane’s head, kissing him softly as Shane’s breathing evens out and he falls asleep in Ilya’s arms. Ilya goes to sleep happier than he’s been in a very long time. 

*

Shane wakes up to the feeling of Ilya kissing his shoulder softly before moving his lips over to his neck. Ilya squeezes his pec, holding him close from behind as Shane turns his head to look at him. 

“Good morning,” Shane says, voice a bit hoarse. 

“Good morning,” he says, smiling softly, leaning in to kiss his forehead. 

Shane turns around in Ilya’s arms, reaching up to gently touch Ilya’s jaw, feeling the light stubble there. He runs his thumb over his bottom lip gently, just admiring him. 

Ilya playfully bites Shane’s thumb before leaning in to kiss him on the nose and on his freckles on his cheek. Shane looks into his eyes and Ilya asks him, “Would you like to go on a date with me tonight?” 

Shane laughs softly, smiling widely. “Really?” he asks.

Ilya chuckles, “Really,” he tells him.

“I’d love to,” Shane says, leaning in to kiss him softly on the lips— no tongue because he didn’t brush his teeth yet. 

Ilya says, “I’m hungry,” before smacking Shane’s ass under the covers. He climbs out of bed and before Shane can get up, Ilya tosses him a pair of his sweatpants and a black shirt. Shane puts it on— the shirt’s a little big on him but he loves the way Ilya’s clothes feel on him. 

Ilya walks over to him, eyes raking over him as he makes a little ummph sound as he walks by him. Shane blushes before following him out. Ilya heads downstairs as Shane uses the washroom before joining Ilya in the kitchen. He hugs him from behind because he can and revels in the feeling of Ilya’s hand coming to rest on top of his arms around him, leaning back into him.

They spend almost the whole day together just lounging around, making out, touching each other, until Ilya tells him that he’s going to get ready now because he needs to go do something before they leave for their date. 

Ilya makes him promise to stay in his room so that he doesn’t see what Ilya looks like before their date. Shane thinks it’s cute that he wants to take him on a real date and act like they aren’t roommates who just woke up in the same bed together that morning. 

Shane gets himself ready, taking a proper shower and then choosing an outfit he thinks Ilya will like, since he told him to dress casually. He puts on a pair of dark jeans that he knows makes his ass look good, and a tight black t-shirt with a black leather jacket on top. His longer hair is pushed back with some products, letting just a few strands fall onto his forehead. He also puts on some cologne that he always gets compliments on when he wears it.

He looks himself over and is overall pleased with how he looks. His phone starts buzzing on the dresser so he picks it up to see an incoming FaceTime from his mom. 

He answers the call since Ilya hasn’t come back yet so he has the time.

“Hi, mom,” he says when the call connects and he can see his mom’s face fill the screen. She’s wearing her glasses and is sitting at their kitchen table. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” she says then realizes— “Oh you look so handsome, where are you off to? Elliott taking you somewhere nice?”

Shit, he has to tell them. 

“Uh— no, actually, so,” Shane starts to say, stuttering. “The thing is— Elliott and I broke up,” he finally says. 

“Oh Shane, I’m sorry, are you okay?” she asks him, smiling at him sadly. 

“What happened?” Shane can hear his dad say, making his way closer and sitting next to his wife.

“Shane and Elliott broke up,” Yuna tells him. 

“It’s okay,” Shane says, now seeing both his parents' faces on the screen. “I uh— I broke up with him.”

“Oh, well as long as you’re okay,” Yuna says. 

“Yeah, we just want you to be happy,” David tells him.

“So then, where are you off to then? If not with Elliott,” Yuna asks, smirking at him.

Shane tells them a very brief version of what happened— mainly that he couldn’t help but fall for Ilya and it made him realize that he wasn’t in love with Elliott and that he had to end it. And that he is who he’s going on a first date with. 

“So what’s your plan now? Are you staying in Boston?” Yuna asks him.

“I do have a plan,” he says, before diving into the idea he’s been mulling over recently. 

His phone starts ringing with another incoming call, this one from Ilya so he tells them he has to go and he loves them before answering Ilya’s call. “Hi,” he says softly.

“Hi,” Ilya repeats. “Are you ready for our date?”

“I am,” Shane tells him, walking over to the window in his bedroom looking out at the front of the house but not seeing Ilya.

“See you soon,” Ilya says before hanging up. Shane pockets his phone and makes his way out of the bedroom. As he goes down the stairs, there’s a knock at the door. Shane smiles as he opens the door to reveal Ilya there dressed in dark jeans and a black polo shirt, sunglasses tucked into the collar, and a black leather jacket on as well. He’s also holding a very big, beautiful, bright bouquet of flowers. 

Shane smiles, taking the flowers Ilya hands him as he says, “Hi, uh— these are for you,” shyly. 

“They’re beautiful, thank you,” Shane blushes. “I’ve never received flowers before,” he tells him.

“Beautiful boy deserves beautiful flowers,” Ilya says, eyeing him up and down. Shane blushes under his gaze. He steps inside, closing the door behind him, before putting his hand on Shane’s waist. He says, “You look—” his eyes wandering all over his face and down his chest before he looks back into his eyes, “— so good.” 

“So do you,” Shane says, leaning his face in to press a soft kiss to Ilya’s lips before pulling away. “I’m gonna go put these down,” he adds before stepping away from Ilya and heading to the kitchen with the flowers. 

Shane finds a vase he could use and goes about putting the flowers inside of it while Ilya leans against the wall and watches him. When he’s done, he puts the vase on the kitchen table and says, “Perfect.”

“Yes,” Ilya agrees but when Shane looks at him, Ilya is looking back at him. Shane blushes and Ilya smiles at him fondly. “We should go,” he tells him.

Shane follows Ilya out after putting his shoes on and the two get into Ilya’s car. He drives them to the hockey rink and Shane looks at him confused when they pull up in the parking lot. 

Shane starts to ask, “What are we—”

Ilya says, “Trust me,” before getting out of the car. Shane follows him out and Ilya meets him on his side with a bag on his shoulder. He takes Shane’s hand and leads the way inside the building where a man is there waiting to let them in. 

Shane can see that the place is empty and they are seemingly the only ones there except for this employee who leads them to the rink. Shane can see a small table and chairs set up right by the boards with food on the table. 

“Ilya…” Shane says as Ilya leads him to the table. He puts the bag down on the floor and pulls the chair out for Shane, kissing him softly once he sits down before sitting in the other chair. He moves it closer to Shane, not wanting to sit far from him. Shane keeps his hand in his and says, “This is really sweet. I love it so much.”

“Good,” Ilya smiles. “I am happy you like it.” 

Ilya removes the covers from their dishes to show steak with grilled vegetables and mashed potatoes. Ilya eats most of Shane’s potatoes and Shane takes a few of Ilya’s vegetables. They laugh and they talk throughout the meal. Shane has a ginger ale and Ilya’s got a coke. This is the best date Shane has ever been on. 

When they’re done eating and are ready to move, Ilya takes out two sweaters from the bag, handing one to Shane. They both remove their leather jackets and put the sweaters on before changing into their skates and skating on the rink that they have to themselves— for the next hour, but it’s perfect.

They get back home a little later on, mouths all over each other as they make their way up to Ilya’s bedroom clumsily, clothes being tossed everywhere. They crash onto the bed, Ilya devouring Shane. It’s fast and it’s hard and it’s so good— Shane has never come so much or so quickly with anyone he’s ever been with until Ilya. 

Curled up together under the covers, Shane’s head resting on Ilya’s chest, he says softly, “I told my parents about you today.”

“You did?” he asks, smiling at him. Shane blushes as he looks into his eyes. “Tell me about them.”

“What do you want to know?” Shane asks, smiling softly up at him. 

“I don’t know,” he says softly, shrugging slightly with one shoulder. “I don’t know anything. I know your mother is Japanese or something, probably where you get your good looks.” 

“Half of them,” he blushes.

“And your father is boring, is where you get your boring from?” Ilya teases him.

“Fuck you,” Shane laughs. “He’s not boring.”

“Okay,” Ilya says sarcastically, teasing him before kissing him softly on the nose. “What did you tell them about me?” he asks.

“That I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and that I really want them to meet you,” Shane tells him honestly. It doesn’t feel as difficult to say how he’s feeling when he’s in Ilya’s arms in his bed. 

Ilya’s soft smile goes a little sad as his eyes start to water. Shane moves to lean over Ilya more as he notices the change. “Hey, hey,” he tells him, turning his chin back to look at him. He laughs softly, “Come here,” he kisses him softly on the lips.

Ilya moves them until he’s on top of Shane, kissing all over his face and mumbling something to him in Russian that he can’t understand. He says it a second time before he kisses his lips, then Ilya pulls back to look at him and when Shane meets his eye, Ilya says, “I love you.”

“Holy shit,” Shane’s taken aback for a moment. 

“I mean—” 

“I love you too,” Shane tells him immediately. He needs Ilya to know how he feels. Ilya collapses his head onto Shane’s chest as he says, “Fuck, Hollander,” like he’s been holding in a breath, sniffling back some tears as he rests his head on Shane’s chest.

Shane says, “Oh my God, I love you so much,” before kissing his forehead.

They lay there together for a few moments, Shane holding Ilya to him, kissing his head softly. He says it again because he can, because Ilya feels it too, “I love you.”

Ilya moves his head to look at him and says softly, “I love you,” before kissing him softly on the lips. 

Ilya lays on top of Shane like his own personal weighted blanket and it actually feels super calming to have him on him like this. “Can you say it again in Russian?” Shane asks him shyly. 

Ilya smiles at him fondly and says softly, “Ya tebya lyublyu,” sounding out each word. 

Shane smiles, leaning in for another kiss. Ilya eventually gets off of him and cuddles up behind him, holding him in his arms as they both fall asleep.

Within the coming weeks, Shane is able to put his plan into action and has also made some plans for Ilya’s birthday come mid-June. Ilya has been asking Shane to meet his parents ever since Shane told him that he told his parents about him. 

Shane has planned for them to go to his family cottage for Ilya’s birthday, just the two of them. His parents are letting them stay there for a few nights before they will be joining them so that they can meet the man Shane is in love with. They’ll stay maybe another night or two with his parents then they’ll drive back to Boston. 

He’s looking forward to seeing Ilya in his family cottage. It’s a place that means a lot to him with someone who means a lot to him. 

*

Ilya enjoys the drive in the passenger seat, holding Shane’s hand as they drive to his family cottage where Ilya will get him all to himself in a place that Shane feels most at home before he finally gets to meet his parents. He met them very briefly on FaceTime one morning when Ilya accidentally answered an incoming video call from them, thinking it was his phone and not seeing who was calling. They thought it was cute but Shane was bright pink— Ilya loved it.

It’s a nearly seven hour drive from Boston to the cottage so Ilya had done the first few hours before Shane finished the drive before pulling up into the driveway. They grab their one small bag each as they’re only here a few days then Shane unlocks the door, letting them inside. 

They drop their bags by the door and Shane gives him the tour, showing him the yard and how it leads down to the lake but that the lake might be a little cold still since it’s only mid-June. They arrive late on Friday and have the weekend plus Ilya’s birthday on Monday together before his parents arrive on Tuesday. 

It doesn’t take long for them to strip down and christen Shane’s bedroom that has a lot of different hockey trophies and posters of hockey players. It makes him laugh softly seeing no women on his walls, his sweet, super gay, Shane. 

They don’t do much but fuck, shower, and go to sleep since they already arrived at nearly midnight. The next morning, Ilya wakes up with Shane’s head on his chest, both of them slowly blinking their eyes open.

“Morning,” Shane says softly, looking up into his eyes. 

“Good morning,” Ilya says back, voice still groggy. “You are so beautiful,” he says because Shane does— he always looks beautiful but the way he looks when he just wakes up, the sun seeping through and illuminating his face and showing off his freckles is just breathtaking. 

Shane blushes, hiding his face in Ilya’s neck, kissing him softly. Ilya giggles, pulling Shane on top of him and kissing him softly— no tongue because he knows Shane doesn’t like kissing with tongue first thing in the morning. 

It’s not the best day out weather wise as it’s drizzling on and off all day so they head out to do groceries together before getting back to the cottage, making themselves some food and then they play some NHL on the Playstation. They fuck— quite a bit— and Shane takes a phone call in another room, leaving Ilya naked in bed. 

Shane returns to bed and Ilya asks him what that call was about. 

Shane leans on his elbow, propping himself up so he can look down at Ilya who’s laying down, looking up into his beautiful doe eyes. “I figured out what I want to do,” Shane says simply, Ilya looking at him expectantly. 

“And?” he asks, encouraging him to continue.

“I want to coach hockey,” Shane says with a shy smile. “You really helped me find my love for hockey again since my accident, when you brought me to the skating rink that first time,” he adds, bringing his fingers up to caress Ilya’s cheek and his jaw, his other hand resting on Ilya’s bare chest.

Ilya smiles at him fondly. “I only ever want you to be happy and hockey makes you happy,” he tells him softly. 

Shane smiles at him, fingers still touching him softly. “I know and it means a lot to me that you made such an effort to actually know me and do that for me,” he tells him before leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips. He pulls back again to say, “I just got off the phone with someone for the Ottawa Centaurs. They want me to come for an interview for an assistant coaching position on Wednesday.”

Ilya shifts them so he can sit up next to Shane, pulling him into a hug. “That is amazing,” he says into his neck before he pulls back to smile at him. “I am very proud of you,” he adds and Shane blushes. 

“I know it’s not Boston but—” 

“It does not matter,” Ilya shakes his head, dismissing it. 

“Oh,” Shane says sadly.

Ilya immediately tries to fix what he meant to say. “No, no, no, shit, that is not—” he says quickly, tilting Shane’s chin up to meet his eyes. “I will follow you wherever you go,” he says looking into his eyes, smiling softly. “As long as you want me,” he adds, shyly.

“Really?” Shane asks shyly, a soft smile on his lips. 

“Even if is Antartica,” Ilya teases.

Shane laughs softly, moving to climb into Ilya’s lap, hugging him tightly and burying his face in his neck. Ilya holds him tight, squeezing him around his middle, breathing him in deeply. Shane kisses all over his face until he gets to his lips, deepening it. 

Ilya carefully but quickly makes sure Shane is ready for him, still somewhat loose from earlier as Shane sinks down on him, moaning into the quiet room. Ilya grips onto Shane’s hips as Shane starts to ride him, moving up and down his hard cock, leaning down to lick into his mouth.

Ilya looks between them and sees Shane’s hard cock, bobbing up and down, leaking profusely from the head, getting onto both their stomachs. Ilya looks back up to meet Shane’s gaze, his forehead dropping to rest against his as they both breathe heavily. 

Ilya wraps his arm around Shane and flips them without pulling out, putting Shane onto his back. He moans, arching his back as Ilya starts fucking him harder, deeper, right into his prostate.

“Right there, Ilya, fuck, don’t stop,” he moans, his nails scratching down Ilya’s back. 

Ilya loves to tease Shane for being so desperate during sex but he’s just as desperate for Shane. “Touch yourself,” Ilya tells him and Shane’s quick to oblige, taking his leaking cock in his hand and stroking himself until he’s coming hard between them, moaning Ilya’s name before Ilya is coming hard inside of him. 

Ilya’s happy they went to get tested soon after they first slept together and once they were informed they were clean they decided to forgo condoms since they have no interest in sleeping with anyone else. Feeling Shane’s tight heat around him with nothing else between them is as close to Heaven as Ilya thinks he’ll ever get. 

They spend the evening cuddling on the couch watching movies and Shane drifting off with his head in Ilya’s lap. Ilya caresses Shane’s head, running his fingers through his hair gently, feeling more at ease than he has in a very long time. 

They go to sleep early and Ilya finds himself awake before the sun rises— and before Shane, which is rare. He puts his sweatpants on and takes his cigarettes outside with him. He’s trying to cut back for Shane but the urge is still there sometimes so he sits himself on a big rock, looking out at the lake, smoking a cigarette, as he talks to his mom in Russian.

He sees Shane join him not long after, a blanket over his shoulders and two mugs of coffee in his hands. He looks so cute and sleepy, his hair a bit messed up from how he slept. Ilya helps him, taking a mug from him as Shane puts the other down behind Ilya. Shane drapes the blanket over Ilya as he perches himself next to him on the rock. Ilya helps put the blanket over Shane’s shoulders too as he curls up closer to his side. They watch the sun rise over the lake and it’s beautiful. 

“This is nice,” Shane says softly, looking up at him.

Ilya smiles at him, “It is,” he agrees. “Most peace I have felt in a long time,” he tells him and smiles softly at the small kiss Shane leaves on his arm. 

“Maybe one day we can build our own cottage— together,” he says, looking up at him shyly.

God, he loves this man so much. “I would like that very much,” he says, leaning down to kiss him softly, just a small peck to his lips as they continue to watch the sun rise above the water.

*

Shane takes Ilya to the skating rink that he used to practice at all the time in the summers growing up. He skates over to Ilya, leaning against the boards, he asks, “Do you ever miss playing professionally?”

“Hmm, not really,” Ilya tells him, then adds, “Sometimes.”

“Would you ever want to play again?” Shane asks. “I know it’s been a while and you’re old now but—” he teases. Ilya is turning twenty-six tomorrow, he’s hardly old, but he hasn’t played professionally in nearly five years, and with players usually retiring around their late thirties to early forties, he wouldn’t have as much time to play professionally. 

Ilya pokes him in the stomach and pouts at him. “You like that I am older,” he teases him back, pulling Shane closer by his sweater. “Maybe you should start calling me daddy,” he teases.

Shane groans, “No, definitely not.”

“It could be hot,” Ilya teases, smirking at him.

“Shut up,” Shane shoves his chest but doesn’t do it hard, not wanting to actually push him away. He lets Ilya wrap his arms around him and accepts the kiss he plants on his lips. “But would you?” he asks against his lips. Ilya pulls back to look at him and Shane clarifies, “Play professionally again?”

Ilya hums, “I don’t know. I only ever played for Russia. I would not play there again,” he tells him.

“What about for a Canadian team?” Shane asks, searching. 

Ilya smirks at him. “You want me to play for Ottawa?” he asks, knowing him too well.

“Maybe,” Shane blushes.

Ilya smiles at him sweetly. “I would but I do not think they would take me. I am as you said— old now,” he teases.

Shane smacks his chest. “You have a good ten years, probably even more if you stop smoking,” he tells him pointedly. “Plus Ottawa kind of sucks. They could use a centre like you.” 

“Maybe,” Ilya says simply, kissing his nose softly before skating away. 

Shane can see his future with Ilya so clearly. Shane as the assistant coach for the Ottawa Centaurs, Ilya their star centre and captain. His plan now has an added step to it— get Ilya back into professional hockey player mode so he can get drafted to the NHL. 

The next morning, Ilya’s twenty-sixth birthday, Shane wakes up before him, and decides to wake him up with some soft kisses all over his body. It wakes him up because Shane can feel his fingers run through his hair as Shane starts sucking a mark right into Ilya’s hip, right by his now hard cock. 

“Mmm,” he moans softly, “Good morning to me,” he teases.

Shane kisses his way back up his body and leaves a soft kiss to his lips. “Happy birthday, Ilya,” he says softly, leaving one more kiss to his lips before he goes back down his body and takes Ilya’s hard cock into his mouth.

“Fuck, Shane,” Ilya moans, enjoying the full benefits of his morning birthday treat.

Shane makes Ilya a big breakfast with too much bacon, and he even has a bit of it, making Ilya grin watching him. He hasn’t been as strict with what he eats since his hockey career was taken from him but now that he’s practicing again, he would like to get a healthy diet going— maybe just not as intense as it once was.

It’s a nicer day than it was the past two days so they go down to the lake, Ilya actually getting in it and swimming. Shane sits on a rock, watching him enjoy it. 

Ilya pops back out of the water and asks him, “How’s the water?”

“You’re in it,” he says back.

“Yeah but I want to know how you like it,” he says before splashing him.

“Fuck you,” he laughs. 

Ilya smiles, making his way to him and kisses his knee right where his scar is before putting his hands on them and looking up at Shane. “Gimme kiss,” he says before pouting his lips out to him.

“You’re cold,” he tells him before leaning down to fulfill his request, kissing him softly on his perfect lips.

Ilya throws himself back into the water, and Shane smiles, watching him enjoy it, looking a lot more free and comfortable than he’s seen him look over the past few months.

He wishes he could have done more for him for his birthday but Ilya assures him when they’re curled up in bed after fucking for the third time that day, “This is the best birthday I’ve had in fifteen years, moy solnyshko.” 

Shane’s realized over the past month or so that they’ve been— whatever they are— Ilya will call him different terms of endearment in Russian and it always makes him feel all fluttery inside. 

On his plan for the future, there’s a note on there to learn Russian. He wants to be able to understand enough that when Ilya needs to vent and can’t do it in English, he has someone who can actually listen and understand him when he speaks Russian. Plus, he just wants to know what he’s calling him without having to ask him.

“What is that one?” he asks softly, looking up into his eyes. He doesn’t usually ask what they mean but he really wants to know because he hasn’t heard that one yet. 

“My sunshine,” he says softly, kissing his forehead. 

Shane blushes, hiding his face in Ilya’s chest, kissing it softly. 

“So cute,” Ilya mumbles softly into his hair, kissing his head again as he squeezes him in his arms.

The next day, Shane manages to get Ilya out of bed early enough for them to go on a run together— but not before Ilya fucks Shane deeply and lazily as they lay on their sides. They manage to make the run then get ready for the day since his parents should be arriving soon. 

Shane prepares everything he needs to make lunch for them all— Ilya asked if he could make burgers so that’s what they’re going to have. 

Yuna and David let themselves in as it is their house, Yuna calling out as they walk in, “Shane? We’re here.”

“In the kitchen!” he calls back, as he finishes washing his hands in the sink. Ilya sitting on the counter near him where he was watching Shane prepare the patties. 

He hops down when Shane’s parents walk into the kitchen. Shane moves around him to hug them both before gesturing to Ilya who’s standing there shyly. “Mom, dad, this is Ilya, my, uh—” Shane starts to say before he stops, looking at Ilya shyly before looking down. 

“Hi, I’m Ilya,” Ilya says, reaching his hand out for one of them to take— Shane’s mom does first. He shakes both their hands and adds, “I’m Shane’s boyfriend,” smiling over at Shane softly.

“Boyfriend?” Shane asks softly, shyly smiling at him. 

Ilya smiles softly. “I mean, yes. I think so. Probably,” he tells him, finding himself getting a little shy now that they finally said the word and it’s in front of Shane’s parents. 

“I’m Yuna, this is David,” Yuna tells him, smiling. “And it’s really nice to meet you, Ilya.”

“It is nice to meet you too,” he tells them.

“And happy birthday,” David says. 

“Thank you,” Ilya smiles. 

Shane tells them that he’s going to grill some burgers so they bring everything outside while Shane gets behind the grill. Ilya walks over to Shane and hugs him from behind while he grills, kissing the back of his neck softly. 

He lets him go and turns to see Shane’s parents watching them, he can’t help but blush at the attention. He’s never had parents know about him in this way— it’s nice. 

While they sit and eat together outside, enjoying the sun that’s shining brightly, Shane tells them about his interview tomorrow. Yuna is over the moon over the news, already trying to make plans like he got the job. He had told her the plan when he first came up with it but now that he knows he has an actual interview with an NHL team, she’s ecstatic to know it’s all coming together for him. 

“As you can see my mom takes hockey really seriously,” Shane comments.

“Oh, I see where you get it from,” Ilya teases him. 

“I want to know more about you, Ilya,” Yuna says then, looking at him, changing the conversation. 

“What would you like to know?” he asks her before taking a sip of his coke. 

“I know how you two got together— sort of,” she says, eyes drifting over to Shane for a moment before she adds, “But what about you? When did you start to like Shane?”

“The first time Elliott posted a photo of them together on Instagram,” Ilya tells her honestly.

“Wait, really?” Shane asks, drawing his attention to him. Ilya smiles at him softly, nodding once. “I thought Rose was kidding when she said Hayden told her you’ve had a crush on me for—”

“For years, yes,” Ilya confirms, feeling warm with everyone’s eyes on him. “It is true, but Pike has a big mouth,” he says, making Shane’s parents chuckle. 

Shane blushes softly and Ilya can’t help but lean in to leave a small, soft kiss to his lips. He pulls back and looks over at Shane’s parents who are smiling at them sweetly before Yuna asks about his childhood. 

It’s not the topic he would choose to discuss next but he wants Shane’s parents to like him because they mean so much to Shane. 

He finds that he gets along really well with Yuna because they have similar humor. Later in the evening, David asks Ilya to do a puzzle with him and it doesn’t interest him but he doesn’t want to be rude so he agrees. It’s a lot more fun than he was expecting and he finds he really likes Shane’s dad. He’s quiet and weird, and boring like Shane which makes Ilya smile. Ilya realizes he might be boring too if he enjoyed doing a puzzle this much with David Hollander. 

After dinner, the four of them sit in the living room to watch a movie. Ilya sits on the big recliner that the Hollanders have while Yuna and David sit together on the couch, leaving a space for Shane, but he goes to sit half on Ilya in the recliner instead, curling up into him. Ilya grins as he wraps Shane up in his arms. 

David gets up for a moment to drape a blanket over them before sitting back down on the couch with his wife and starting the movie. Ilya’s never had a family night quite like this before and he could really get used to it.

The next day, Shane leaves him in bed with a kiss before he leaves for his interview. Ilya spends the day with Yuna and David getting to know them better and for them to get to know the new man dating their son. 

It’s a day very well spent but he is happy to see Shane when he gets back. Shane tells them everything about the day and how well it went. He doesn’t want to show that he’s hopeful but Ilya can see it all over his face. Ilya doesn’t believe in much but he does believe in Shane Hollander. 

*

September

Ilya never really thought much about the future until he met Shane. He thought that when he bought this little house in Boston that maybe eventually one day, he’d meet someone and they’d have a kid or two, or that maybe he’d be alone forever. That would be safer, he thought. 

Then he met Shane and all that changed. All he could think about was being with him and doing everything he can to make him happy. He actually started to think about his future because Shane thinks about their future. Knowing he wanted Shane in his life forever is as far into planning his future as he got. That and making Shane happy.

He didn’t expect that within just four months he would be Shane’s boyfriend and a couple months after that, he would be selling his house to move to Canada to be with him. 

When they got back home from Shane’s parents cottage after Ilya’s birthday, Shane was offered the assistant coaching position for the NHL’s Ottawa Centaurs. Ilya hugged him tight and said, “So when are we moving?”

Ilya put his house on the market and they started to look into apartments they could rent for the first year until they’re ready to maybe buy something together. Ilya is ready but it’s still such a new relationship for them, he wants to give Shane the time and space to make sure that’s what he wants too since he went from one relationship of nearly four years to immediately in a relationship with Ilya. 

They move to Ottawa at the start of September into a two bedroom apartment not far from where the team trains. Ilya is able to turn the second room into a little studio, somewhere he can put all his photography equipment. He also gets a lot of his photos of Shane developed and frames them, hanging them in that room because Shane doesn’t want framed photos of him everywhere— but they do frame a photo of the two of them on the ice on their first date. Shane didn’t even realize that the employee who let them in, ended up taking some shots of them to send to Ilya who had one blown up and framed, displaying it in their living room.

Ilya does book some photography jobs in Ottawa but thankfully the sale of his house gives Ilya a good cushion in case he doesn’t get many jobs. Though, he has been considering Shane’s suggestion to play hockey again, so he starts to train a lot more consistently. 

At the start of the new hockey season, the Centaurs have a team dinner to which Shane brings Ilya, introducing him to everyone who’s already made Shane feel really comfortable. 

He meets coach Wiebe, Shane’s boss, who seems like such a great coach to have— he’s thoughtful and kind, and he’s funny. He’s not strict, rude, or horrible like Ilya’s old coach in Russia. 

Ilya meets the whole team and they mostly all seem great, except for their captain who some of the team don’t seem to like. They’re all sitting at the table eating dinner where he gets to know some of the players on the team. 

Ilya’s sitting next to Shane who’s to the right of Coach Wiebe at the head of the table, on Ilya’s left. Across from Shane is Cliff Marlow, and next to him which is across from Ilya is Troy Barrett. To Ilya’s right is Harris Drover who manages the social media for the Centaurs. Across from Harris who’s sitting next to Troy is Luca Haas. He just got drafted to the team for the new season at nineteen years old. And across from Luca, on Harris’s other side sits Zane Boodram who everyone calls Bood. From where he’s sitting, these are some of the people he’s able to talk to throughout the meal. 

They all seem great, which reassures Ilya that Shane’s in great hands. Hockey is something Shane is passionate about, and he had put everything into it. His dream to be an NHL player taken from him because of someone else’s wrongdoings, shifted his love for the sport. He didn’t skate for three years because of it. Until he met Ilya who basically forced him to get on the ice. 

Ilya knows Shane, he understands him, and he loves him so completely that it consumes him. So he knows Shane shouldn’t stop playing because of how much hockey means to him. He shouldn’t stop doing something he loves just because he can’t do it the same way as he used to. 

Shane can’t be an NHL professional the way he was destined to but he can still love the game and be a part of that legacy. He made a new path for himself by believing he could and with the help of Ilya encouraging him along the way. He’s the assistant coach to an NHL team, he’s attaining the life he wants and Ilya couldn’t be prouder.

It does make him want to do the same.

When Shane suggested he try to play professionally again it had him really thinking about it. He was so enamoured by the fact that Shane asked him if he would play for the NHL like he wanted him to be drafted to the team he’s going to work for so they could be together all the time. That is what is making Ilya highly consider getting back into his professional hockey player shape so that he could get drafted for next season.

He's older now though and hasn’t really played much in the past five years. He’s gone skating often since the skating rink he took Shane to was close to his house but he hasn’t kept up with that regiment and routine. Now that he’s considering training to get drafted, he doesn’t know if Ottawa would even draft him, they have a captain already so they’d probably have to trade him, so that makes Ilya afraid that if he does all this work and it doesn’t pay off, he’s going to be really disappointed.

It helps to know that he has Shane with him and he would love to help make this happen for him so whatever happens, he knows he’ll be okay. 

*

Five years later 

Arriving at the cottage, Shane pulls the car into the driveway before they get out. Ilya opens the back door on the passenger side to let their dog out of the backseat. Anya, who he’s convinced Ilya might love a bit more than him, jumps out of the car and goes running to the backyard of the cottage they had built two years ago. This is going to be their third summer spent here. 

They arrive just after Ilya’s birthday, which was spent in Vegas with Shane, of course, as well as all of his closest friends— Svetlana, Wyatt, JJ, Rose, Troy, Harris, Bood, Cliff, and Luca. The Pikes couldn’t make it on account of having another child recently. 

Shane gets their bags while Ilya grabs some of the grocery bags. They unload the car and get everything inside, ready to spend at least the next few days just enjoying each other, before they should go see his parents. They built this cottage ten minutes from the one he grew up on, the one he brought Ilya to, the one where he said they would maybe build one someday. 

Once everything is put away and Anya is back inside with them and cleaned off from getting dirty, Shane walks around the island meeting Ilya by the windows. They walk towards each other, Shane smiling shyly, even after all these years together. 

Ilya looks at his lips, drifting his eyes back to his face as he reaches his hand out to touch Shane’s face. He puts his hand to the front of Shane’s neck, holding him softly as he leans in and kisses him. Shane reaches out, putting his hands on Ilya’s waist, pulling him into him. 

Ilya deepens the kiss, moving his other hand up his chest. He moans softly into it, before Shane’s being shoved. They break apart to see Anya by their feet, smiling up at them, barking at them once. 

“Did she shove you?” Shane asks him, laughing.

“Yes!” Ilya laughs. “She’s very strong like her papa,” he says, winking at him. Shane scoffs but smiles because the thought of Ilya as a dad— the way he is with kids is so hot to Shane. “I think she is hungry,” Ilya says before playfully smacking Shane’s ass.

He goes around the island to get Anya’s food ready, and Shane gets started on their own dinner because tonight they are celebrating a lot. 

They always celebrate everything that happened around the summer on the first night they arrive at the cottage. 

Six years since Shane started working as the assistant coach to the Centaurs, and six years since he and Ilya have been together. Five years since Ilya’s been the captain of the Centaurs, and nearly five years since they bought their house in Ottawa. Four years since Shane proposed in their home surrounded by candles. Three years and some months since they’ve been married. And two years since their cottage has been built. 

They’re eating their dinner outside on the deck as the sun sets, making the sky mostly pink. It's a beautiful night and still relatively warm outside for them to be in their shorts. Shane’s got on a black Centaurs crewneck— long are the days of wearing Metros merch— and Ilya’s wearing a zip up black sweater on top of a high neck white tank top. 

The Centaurs teased Ilya for being a Raiders fan before joining the team but with him as their new captain in the past four seasons on the team, they’ve won two Stanley Cups. Now that they’re coming off back to back wins, Ilya going into his fifth year on the team, he’s really feeling it.

He loves it though, he hasn’t loved hockey for a very long time and the Centaurs— and especially Shane— have made him love it again. It’s just that he’s not in his thirties and even minor injuries take longer to recover. 

Once the sun has set and they’re done eating, they put everything back inside before starting a fire at the fire pit they have built. They sit together on the small couch, Anya laying on an outdoor bed they brought for her that they put near them but not too close to the fire pit. 

Shane and Ilya’s phones buzz with a new text so they reach for their phones to see a new message in their group chat with their Boston crew.

Boston Crew

8:48pm

Hayden

*image attached*

Jackie

My babies are so beautiful

Shane looks at the photo Hayden sent of their kids. You can see the twins sitting on a sofa with their new baby brother leaning up against them, in between them. He gets out of the photo to see a heart reaction from Rose, Svetlana, and Ilya. Shane puts one as well and texts back.

Shane

So cute! Can’t wait to meet him soon

The Pikes are actually coming to stay at their cottage for three days this summer and they’re both very excited about it but also very scared because there'll be three children staying with them— plus Hayden who Ilya barely likes. Shane knows he does like him but he likes to tease Hayden more than anything else so if that means Hayden thinks he’s an asshole then so be it.

Ilya

I want one, Shane

Shane looks at his husband sitting next to him, he sees the playful smile on his face. Shane laughs softly, looking back at the phone.

Svetlana 

You’re definitely right next to each other, why text it?

Ilya

You all must know I plan to make Shane pregnant with my baby

“Ilya!” Shane says, turning to look at him. 

“What?” Ilya looks at him innocently, as he puts his phone in his pocket. “It is true,” he says as he leans forward, ghosting his lips near Shane’s mouth. 

Shane parts his lips on a breath, looking down at Ilya’s lips. “I am very much looking forward to fucking you as many times as it takes until you have my baby,” Ilya says hotly in his ear before sucking his earlobe into his mouth. 

“Fuck, Ilya,” Shane moans, eyes closing as he moves his head back giving Ilya access to whatever he wants to take. 

Ilya pulls back, putting his hand on Shane’s chin, bringing him closer. “I think we should try right now,” Shane says before Ilya kisses him hard, licking into his mouth. He moans loudly into the kiss before he pulls back.

Shane looks at him, needing more, as Ilya looks back at him hungrily. 

“I’m going to clean up out here, I need you to get undressed and get in bed, and I want you to touch yourself while you wait for me to come and fuck you. You can’t come until I tell you to,” Ilya tells him, his hand moving up Shane’s thigh, getting close to where his cock is now hard in his shorts. 

Fuck, that’s so hot. 

He loves it when Ilya tells him what to do. He loves being able to be good at what he’s doing and when he’s told what to do, it’s easier for him to be good at it. 

“Now, moya lyubov’,” Ilya tells him and Shane is quick to his feet, almost putting his erection right in Ilya’s face. Ilya smirks up at him and Shane feels hot all over. He blushes as he moves around the outdoor couch they’re sitting on to head back inside. 

Shane walks to their bedroom and turns on the small lights on either side of their bed before taking his clothes off and putting them in the hamper. He climbs onto the king size bed and sits back against the headboard in the middle of the bed, his cock half hard, laying on his thigh. Shane can hear  the backdoor opening and Ilya making his way inside with Anya, speaking to her in Russian to follow him to her room. They have two other bedrooms in the cottage, which Shane imagined would be for guests or children one day, not for one of them to become their dog's room. 

Hearing Ilya say words in Russian gets heat pooling inside of him again as he remembers he should be getting himself ready for his husband. Shane grabs the lube from the bedside drawer and puts some on his hand. He wraps a slick hand around his cock and strokes himself at the thought of Ilya walking in here and doing whatever he wants with him. Fuck, Shane moans softly as he works his hand over his cock before taking his balls into his hand. 

Shane spreads his legs more, planting his feet on the mattress. He lowers hand more and circles a slick finger against his hole. His eyes are closed as he sinks a finger inside of him, moaning softly at the feeling. 

“Fuck,” Ilya says and Shane’s eyes are now open, seeing his husband leaning against the open doorway, watching him finger himself open. Shane’s hand stopped moving and Ilya says, “Don’t stop.” 

Shane continues and adds a second finger, opening himself up, moaning for Ilya as he watches him watch him. Ilya makes his way into the room and stands at the foot of the bed. He slowly takes all of his clothes off, letting them all fall to the floor as he continues to watch Shane finger himself. Ilya takes himself in his hand, stroking himself lazily as he watches Shane. 

“Please— I need you to fuck me, baby, please,” Shane begs, knowing he sounds completely fucking desperate. 

“You’re so desperate for my cock,” Ilya says in a low, deep voice that drives Shane crazy. 

“Yes,” Shane moans. 

“Then suck,” Ilya says.

Shane gently removes his fingers before he’s immediately moving to get on his stomach and his face immediately in Ilya’s crotch. He nuzzles his face in his happy trail of hair as Ilya holds Shane’s head lovingly. He can even feel Ilya’s wedding ring as his fingers run through his hair. “My Shane,” he says softly, lovingly, before Shane takes Ilya’s hard cock into his mouth, and he moans deeply, his fingers tightening in his hair. 

Shane moans around him, taking as much of him in as he can from the way he’s arching on the bed in front of him on his stomach. Ilya caresses his face in his hand as he slowly thrusts in and out of his mouth. “Look at you, so beautiful with your mouth full of cock— my cock inside my Shane, my husband,” Ilya moans. Shane loves when he gets all possessive and reminds him who he belongs to, he can’t help but moan loudly around him, his cock leaking onto the bed.

“Ok, ok,” Ilya tells him, urging him off of his dick. “Get on your back,” he tells him. 

Shane moves back up the bed and lays down on his back as Ilya gets between his legs, kissing up his chest to his neck, over his jaw to his lips. Shane moans into the kiss, his hands holding Ilya’s face to his. Ilya puts lube onto his fingers before pushing two fingers inside of Shane. Shane moans loudly into his mouth. Ilya finds his prostate quickly, rubbing against it, lighting Shane up from the inside. 

“Ilya,” Shane moans, his head falling back onto the pillow. “Plea—please fuck me, baby, I need you inside of me— need to feel you,” he begs.

“Fuck, Hollander,” Ilya moans into his neck. “I love it when you beg for my cock.”

“Please, want your cock inside me,” Shane moans, rocking back onto Ilya’s fingers. 

“Fuck, so desperate for it, you’re fucking my fingers,” Ilya says, his eyes glued to what’s going on between them. Ilya slowly pulls his fingers out before adding a bit more lube to his hand, stroking himself before pressing his hard cock inside of Shane. 

Shane moans loudly as Ilya bottoms out but he’s quick to start moving against him. Ilya fucks him hard and deep, over and over into his prostate, Shane’s moaning loudly as he meets every one of Ilya’s thrusts, hands gripping onto anywhere he can. 

“You feel so good, baby,” Shane tells him as Ilya kisses his neck, moving lower to suck a mark onto his skin. “Fuck, I love seeing your marks on me, showing everyone I belong to you,” he says, moaning loudly at the you when Ilya fucks him harder, faster. 

“Mine,” Ilya says before he shoves his tongue in his mouth. Ilya wraps his hand around Shane’s cock between them and Shane moans loudly into his mouth as Ilya strokes him. Ilya kisses across Shane’s face before he says hotly in his ear, “Come for me, my good boy.”

Shane feels like he sees white as he lets go. He comes hard between them and all over Ilya’s hand, moaning his name as he arches his back, head thrown back into the pillow. “Fuck, Shane,” Ilya moans, his forehead on Shane’s chin as he comes hard inside of him. He moves his face to the crook of Shane’s neck when Shane moves his face. 

Shane rubs Ilya’s back as he lays on top of him, still buried inside of him. It’s gross and sticky but it oddly feels really comforting. Ilya kisses his neck a few times before pulling back enough to say, “Do you think we made a baby?”

Shane laughs softly, “I don’t think so.”

“Shoot,” Ilya says before he adds with a smirk, “I guess we keep trying.”

Shane laughs as he pulls Ilya to him, kissing him hard on the lips. Ilya gently pulls out of him and Shane whimpers at the loss before Ilya kisses him again, slipping his tongue into his mouth. 

Shane pulls back slightly, touching Ilya’s chin and jaw with his fingers. “Um— I know we’re goofing around about me getting pregnant but I would like for us to have kids. At some point,” Shane tells him honestly.

Ilya smiles at him fondly and says, “I would love to have kids with you, moya lyubov’, whenever you are ready.”

“Are you— are you ready?” Shane asks, stuttering. 

“I am ready whenever it feels like the time for us to have them. I love you more than anything and I like not having to share you but I want a little you running around too,” Ilya tells him, smiling softly.

“And a little you,” Shane adds, continuing his gentle strokes of his fingers on his face. 

Ilya smiles at him softly and Shane can’t help but pull his face to his so he can kiss him softly on the lips. “I think we should definitely keep trying,” Shane says against his mouth, both of them laughing softly into the kiss. 

They take a quick shower before they’re back in bed, Shane asleep with Ilya wrapped around him from the back.

Boston Crew

8:57pm

Hayden

Gross dude

Rose

Shane would look so cute pregnant

Wyatt

????????

JJ

What the fuck did I come back to?

Jackie

Ilya’s trying to knock Shane up

Svetlana

Neither of them responding #noticing

Rose

pls 😭😭

10:51pm

Hayden

They still haven’t answered?????

11:17pm

Ilya

I tried very hard, many times, Shane is still not pregnant :( 

Ilya

We will keep trying 😈

Hayden

This is not what this group chat was intended for!

Ilya

Pike, please, my husband is trying to sleep and your incessant texting will wake him

9:03am

Shane

Ilya, stop telling people you’re trying to get me pregnant

Ilya

No❤️

Ilya rolls over in bed and kisses Shane’s shoulder, right on his scar, before he looks up at him lovingly. Shane smiles at him, leaning down slightly to kiss him softly. If these last few years are any indication of how Shane’s life is going to be, he’s going to live a very happy life with his incredible husband, their cute dog, and eventual children, filling their homes with so much love.