Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov

Additional Tags:

Alternate Universe - Bakery, Social Media, Fluff, Bakery Owner Shane Hollander, Getting Together, Ilya Rozanov is a Menace, Tuna melts are not cursed in this one

Language:

English

Collections:

Hollanov Fest 2026

Stats:

Published: 2026-04-12 Words: 1,073 Chapters: 1/1

Local Guide Ilya Rozanov has left a new review

Summary

Ilya just wants a tuna melt but for some reason the owner of We Take the Cake bakery keeps refusing to make him one. The solution to this problem is clearly to leave a review.

Notes

Written for Hollanov Fest 2026 based on the prompt "Shane owns a bakery that Ilya keeps visiting."

We Take the Cake

4.0 ★★★★☆ (780)

Bakery

 

Reviews

 

Ilya Rozanov

Local Guide

★★☆☆☆

Came to this bakery to ask for a tuna melt. Owner was VERY rude. Made a face at me like an angry kitten. I did not receive a tuna melt. I got a red velvet cupcake and it was delicious, but it was not a tuna melt. Owner should expand the menu and consider being better at customer service.

Response from the owner

This is a bakery, we don’t carry tuna melts. I apologize for the inconvenience, but I do not believe explaining our menu to you was rude. If you want a tuna melt, the sandwich shop down the street would be a better choice.

 

Hayden Pike

★★★★★

Best bakery in town! It’s a shame that some people leave reviews to complain about food that isn’t even served here. Especially when everything that is served here is so good! I’ve never seen the owner be rude to any customers, if it did happen it would probably be a sign that the customer is an asshole.

Response from the owner

Please don’t leave reviews like this, Hayden, it makes it look like I have sock puppet accounts.

 

Denise

★★★★★

The fresh bread is not the hottest thing in this bakery. The owner is hot, hot, hot! 🥵

Response from the owner

Please keep your review to our food items, thank you.

 

Ilya Rozanov

Local Guide

★☆☆☆☆

Update: Returned to this bakery to ask for a tuna melt again, there was STILL no tuna melt. Owner is AGGRESSIVELY unpleasant. Would not recommend anyone visit this bakery. Chocolate chip cookies are the best I have ever tasted in my life.

Response from the owner

I am not making you a tuna melt, I am never making you a tuna melt, we DO NOT STOCK THEM HERE.

 

Cassie

★★★★★

If you’re looking for some eye candy, I’d recommend checking this place out. 😏 The candy cookies are also amazing.

 

Ilya Rozanov

Local Guide

★☆☆☆☆

Update: Visited while the owner was working on accounting, he is very sexy in his glasses. I told him I understand he will not make the tuna melt, so I brought my own tuna to assemble it at the counter. He did not allow me to make my own tuna melt, deeply unfair.

Response from the owner

No bringing outside food into the bakery.

 

Rose Landry

★★★★★

Stopped by here while filming, the owner is funny and the cupcakes are to die for!

 

Cliff

★★★★☆

Went with my friend to pick up some cookies, owner spent the entire time flirting with my friend and then they got into some kind of argument about fish? He kicked us both out. 🫤 The cookies were great, though.

 

Lisa

★★★★★

Came here with my husband, we got a lovely anniversary cake! I asked for it to be hockey themed and the owner actually made the edible hockey rink on the top of the cake to scale. I couldn’t believe the level of detail that went into it.

 

Ilya Rozanov

Local Guide

★☆☆☆☆

Update: Customer service here is TERRIBLE. I tried to complain about a problem with my cupcake and the owner told me to go fuck myself.

Response from the owner

YOU SAID YOUR PROBLEM WAS THAT MY PHONE NUMBER WASN’T ON IT???

 

Scott H

★★★★☆

The blueberry muffins here are great. One of the regular customers here is pretty annoying, though. He actually glared at me and told me to back off when I tried to compliment the owner on his baking. Not sure what that was about.

 

Svetlana

★★★★★

Best croissants in the city. Don’t bother going anywhere else. There’s no point. I am biased because my friend is dating the owner, but I am also correct.

Response from the owner

I am not dating Ilya. Thank you for your review of the croissants.

 

Ryan P

★★★★☆

Just wanted to pick up a birthday cake for my boyfriend, walked in on the owner making out with one of the customers. ☹️ Please be more considerate.

Response from the owner

Sorry Ryan.

 

Jackie

★★★★★

Customer service here is excellent, don’t listen to the reviews saying otherwise! And the regular customers are also really nice, this one customer named Ilya bought me a cookie and we chatted about baking recipes!

 

Ilya Rozanov

Local Guide

★★★☆☆

Update: Owner finally made me a tuna melt, it was okay.

Response from the owner

We were literally on a date??? Are you reviewing our date on Google Maps???

↳Ilya Rozanov

Edited to add: The review was only for the tuna melt. Date was 10000/5. Next date I will take you out dancing and then teach you how to make a better tuna melt. You can add it to your menu and call it Ilya Rozanov’s tuna melt.

Response from the owner

Edited to add: No.

 

Cliff

★★★★★

Update: The owner is in some kind of situationship with my friend now so I keep getting dragged here to wingman. After trying every item on the menu, I’d recommend the banana bread, specifically the kind he makes on Tuesdays with the chocolate chips in it. The Wednesday version with the pecans is good, but inferior to the Tuesday one. I’m going to tell my friend to get his shit together because I can’t keep eating all these baked goods.

 

Kip

★★★★★

Came here for gossip and scones, was not disappointed. The owner, Shane, is insisting he’s very casually dating this guy who is here ALL THE TIME. There is nothing casual about it, I think the guy would murder me if I tried to flirt with Shane. Scones were excellent, will return again to find out if they’ve admitted they’re boyfriends yet.

Response from the owner

It is casual. 🫤 We’re not exclusive. Thank you for your review of the scones.

 

Troy

★★★★★

Hey. Do you read these reviews? You wanna get coffee sometime?

Response from the owner

Please only review the food.

 

Ilya Rozanov

Local Guide

★☆☆☆☆

Update: THE OWNER IS TAKEN, HE’S MY BOYFRIEND NOW, NO ONE HIT ON HIM AGAIN.

Response from the owner

Wait, boyfriend?

 

Ryan P

★★★★☆

Update: Tried to use the free cookie coupon I got after the last time I saw more than I wanted to. The owner was making out with his boyfriend behind the counter again. ☹️

Response from the owner

Sorry Ryan.

 

Ilya Rozanov

Local Guide

★☆☆☆☆

Update: Married the owner, he is still very rude to me, expect terrible customer service here.

Response from the owner

What the fuck, Ilya?

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