Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Harris Drover

Additional Tags:

Crack, 5+1 Things, Mixed Media, Social Media, video description style, Funny, No Smut, Fade to Black, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Halloween Challenge, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Allergic reaction, Snacks & Snack Food, Halloween Parties, Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-10-23 Words: 3,945 Chapters: 1/1

The Hollander Halloween Debacle

Summary

It starts when everyone realizes Shane Hollander has never tried candy. 5+1: Five Centaurs have him blind taste-test their favorite candy, plus Ilya gives Shane a treat he's sure to love.

Notes

Happy early Halloween!

Mars, I am your secret gifter! I hope you enjoy this fic, it was a joy to create for you!

 

October 9th

[Video is shakey and not great quality. Shane walks by on the street. A little boy runs forward, wearing an oversized Shane Hollander jersey.]

Young Fan: Shane Hollander! I'm a huge fan oh my gosh!

[Shane stops walking and looks at the little boy. He seems to hesitate before he squats down to the kid's height]

Shane: [sheepishly] Oh, uh- Thank you.

Young Fan: Can you sign my jersey please?

Shane: Of course, here.

[Shane grabs a sharpie from his back pocket and carefully signs the jersey on the boy's chest]

Young Fan: Halloween is my favorite time. Its amazing and I'm going as you and I will get all the candy!

Shane: As me? That's a great honor.

Young Fan: You're amazing! I love skittles and nerds and three musketeers. What's your favorite candy?

Shane: [frowning slightly] Oh, um, I really like apples if I want something sweet.

Young Fan: Apples aren't candy! What candy do you like?

Shane: Um, none?

[Video ends as the kid stares at Shane open-mouthed in horror ]

 

Comments:

istfgfroggie: … who the fuk?

mychemicalburnout: This guy is worse than every almond mom I've ever seen

romantasyfann: APPLES? Someone bring this man some WHIMSY

tHReemusKETeers: I think this is the worst thing that kid has ever experienced. Me too kid, me too.

starshockey28: Wait isn't he a hockey player for Montreal?

>joesphjoejo: Ottawa now

>starshockey28: same difference?

YoungOfficial: HOLLZY WTFF

---

 

October 12th

[Social media post for Ottawa Centaurs various social media accounts. Shane sits in the middle of the locker room as he tapes a stick. Harris can be heard talking from behind the camera]

Harris: So, Shane? You might have noticed a recent video of you went viral.

Shane: [Sarcastically] Really, Harris?

Harris: Yes really. Now, care to tell us a bit about that particular video?

Shane: [sighs and puts down the hockey stick] Look, I've trained hard my whole life. Candy wasn't something I ate-

Wyaat: Wait! [Appears on the video as he stares at Shane] Are you saying you've never eaten candy?

Shane: No! I've had like… fruit snacks?

[The entire locker room erupts in various shouts as people try to object that fruit snacks be counted as a regular candy by anyone with their sanity still intact.]

Wyatt: So you've had a Snickers bar, right?

[Shane purses his lips and doesn't respond.]

Wyatt: A Milky Way?

[Shane looks into the camera and gives an ever-so-slight shake of his head.]

Wyatt: A Kit-Kat?! You've got to have had one of those!

[Silence from Shane.]

Luca: I love Sour Patch Kids. How about those, Shane?

Shane: Are those like… Kids?

Wyatt: [bleep] me!

[Wyatt storms out of the room in a joking rage and the video cuts off.]

 

Comments:

CentaurOttOfficial: Alternate Captain Shane Hollander as he learns what Sour Patch Kids is for the first time (I know, we're disappointed too)

BoodyBood: This is the best thing ever. I've been crying laughing all day

>YoungOfficial: SAME

inTHEcreases: why does my hockey team have the weirdest players (affectionate)

CallisCallan: Okay but I also love fruit snacks?????? They're good

drunkuncleLEN: sexy and weird, my fav combo

---

 

Halloween Candy Trial Part 1

October 15th

[Video: Shane sits on a stool in the middle of the locker room, just right to the Ottawa logo on the ground. Shane fiddles with the microphone clipped on to his regualr t-shirt .]

Harris: Okay, do you understand what the video is?

Shane: [Looks past the camera to something off screen then back to the camera.] No?

Harris: We're going to blindfold you and then you're going to taste something and you have to guess what it is.

Shane: Oh, that's easy.

Harris: Exactly. Okay, blindfold!

[Ilya comes into frame and ties an Ottawa scarf over Shane's eyes.]

Ilya: [Leans towards the camera and whispers] Only one to blindfold my husband is me.

Shane: Shut up, Ilya.

Ilya: [winks at the camera] I can hear him rolling eyes.

Harris: Okay, Bood? Bring it in.

Shane: Bring what in?

[Zane Boodram walks into the video and shows the camera the food item Shane will be trying: a Snickers bar. He breaks off a piece and nods to Harris.]

Harris: Open wide.

Shane: What the- no!

Harris: That's the whole video, Shane.

Shane: [sighs heavily] Whatever, okay.

[Boodram carefully places the candy in Shane's mouth. Shane chews slowly and immediately scrunches his nose. He shakes his head and struggles to swallow.]

Shane: What the absolute [bleep] was that? Did you feed me a ball of [bleep]ing sugar?

Harris: Is that your final guess?

Shane: Is that my- [bleep] [bleep]. It's like stuck in my teeth. Ugh, that's awful!

Boodram: You gotta guess, Shane.

Shane: Fuck, that was so sweet. Um, well, it had almonds in it? Or peanuts? And caramel — I hate caramel, by the way. It just gets [bleep]ingeverywhere. [Pause] Did you guys feed me a [bleep]ing Snickers bar?

Harris: That is correct!

[Shane rips off the blindfold and throws the fabric at Ilya.]

Shane: That was gross! I can't believe you like those.

Harris: That was Bood's favorite candy, just so you know.

Shane: Bood? You have [bleep]ing awful taste. One out of ten, get that shit away from me.

[Video ends.]

Comments:

CentaurOttOfficial: Hollander's opinions do not reflect the opinions of the Centaur organization. Please enjoy your Snicker bars this Halloween season!

IlyaRozzy81: Ooooo who is that sexy sexy man??

>ShaneHollanderOfficial: STFU Ilya. You're still in trouble.

RoseeeePoseeee: omg Hollander's a freak

>IlyaRozzy81: In the sheets, yes

>ShaneHollanderOfficial: Get off your phone now

Penelopeeeeee: fuck he's so fucking hawttttttt

hockeyforever: Can't be the best player in the league while eating shitty

TylerHernandez909: whos never had a snickers before????

---

 

Halloween Candy Trial Part 2

October 18

[Video opens with Shane being pulled on to the regular stool by Ilya. Ilya's arms seem to strain against Shane trying to run away.]

Shane: Ilya, I don't want to do this.

Ilya: You are big strong man. The candy cannot hurt you.

Shane: I'm going to hurt Haasy's feelings.

Ilya: Haasy is also grown man. He will live.

Shane: [sighs and slumps down on the stool] Okay, Haas? Are you going to give me those sour kids or whatever?

Luca: I do like those, but they aren't my favorite. Uh, Ilya? Blindfold please.

[Ilya smirks as he wraps the bandana over Shane's eyes. He proceeds to give Shane a obnoxiously loud kiss on the cheek.

Luca shows the candy package to the camera: a shareable size of regular Skittles. Luca tears the bag open, pops one in his mouth, and carefully selects a purple one for Shane.]

Luca: I don't want you to choke.

Ilya: That's what he said.

Shane and Harris: [together] Ilya, shut up!

Luca: Okay, open up, I guess?

[Shane blindly opens his mouth and Luca places the candy piece on his tongue.

Shane takes one bite before freezing completely. He purses his lips and quickly swallows the half-chewed candy.]

Shane: What the [bleep]? What is that?

Luca: Skittles! You know, feel the rainbow.

Shane: I don't feel any rainbows. Ugh, what flavor was that? It's stuck in my mouth.

Luca: Grape! It's my favorite one.

Ilya: My favorite is orange.

Luca: And that's why you're wrong.

Harris: Shane, what do you rate Skittles?

Shane: Gosh, four out of ten?

Ilya: Are you just saying four to be nice to Haasy?

Shane: [Silence]

Harris: What's your real rating?

Shane: Two. Sorry Haasy.

Luca: [Shrugs] More for me.

[Luca pours a handful of Skittles into his palm and pops it all into his mouth. Ilya tries to reach over and grab the bag as the video cuts off.]

Comments:

CentaursOttOfficial: Feel the Rainbow 🌈 Don't forget about our Pride Night on November 9th! Pride jerseys are available with proceeds going to The Trevor Project and the Irina Foundation!

CarInCarinna: Not Hollander worried about hurting Haas' feelings!

anxiusanimus: so ironic

Notyourgaybunny: Who tf hates skittles???

HockeyIsQueer: Already bought my Rozanov jersey!! So excited for pride night!!

---

 

Halloween Candy Trial Part 3

October 22

[Video: Shane's sitting in the same stool surrounded by Ilya, Wyatt, and Luca. The video starts mid-argument between everyone.]

Shane: -absolutely not!

Wyatt: Come on, they're really good!

Ilya: They are okay.

Wyatt: [Bleep] you, they're amazing!

Shane: They look like they're full of red forty.

Wyatt: They're definately full of red forty. That' what makes it good.

Harris [off-camera]: Guys, you were supposed to blindfold him, not show him the box.

Shane: [points to the box of Red Hots in Wyatt's hands] You expect me not to see that neon sign of a box? Seriously, I'm not eating that.

Harris: Technically, in your contract-

Shane: [Bleep]ing whatever. Give me one.

[Shane holds out his hand impatiently. Wyatt tears the box open and pours a couple bright red candies into Shane's hand. Shane pops the whole the into his mouth.]

Shane: Oh, uh… This is different?

Wyatt: Yeah, they're a bit hot. Cinnamon, you know? Not spicy spicy, but pleasant.

Shane: Hmm, okay. Wyatt, I have to say that I am impressed. It's not absolutely disgusting like I was expecting. I like the stingling the shpice caushesh.

Wyatt: [Frowning] Stinging?

Shane: Yesh, like a little bis of a stingle on my stongue.

Ilya: Shane? I do not think these candies do that.

Wyatt: Yeah, they're just supposed to be a bit hot, not… Tingly?

Shane: Guysh, I can't feel my stongue.

Wyatt: Hey, dude?

Ilya: Harris, stop the video.

[Video shuts off.]

Comments:

CentaurOttOfficial: Shane found out he's allergic to Red Hots 0/10. He's okay 👍Please enjoy trunk and treat before our next home game tomorrow, starting at 1PM!

madmadaline: SHANEE????

hockeymomz: is there an age limit for the trunk and treat?

YoungOfficial: GOLD is there a way to save this video????

>appleguyharris: no

>WyattTheRiot: no

>CentaurOttOfficial: no

>undertheseaurchin: Press share then download

 >YoungOfficial: thanks!!

MontrealTruther864: This is why we traded you. Weak af

>IlyaRozzy81: Oh, so it was not because you suck? Because I am sure that's true

>appleguyharris: Ilya

>IlyaRozzy81: shhhh okay I will leave

MothEnby0509: my wife is also allergic to those!

---

Halloween Candy Trial Part 4

October 25

[Video: Shane sits on a stool with his arms crossed as he glares into the camera.]

Shane: [deadpan] You want to kill me.

Harris: You didn't die last time. Just a little reaction to the fake cinnamon.

Shane: Wyatt poisons me and now you're putting my life in his [jabs a thumb at Ilya] hands?

Ilya: [gasps dramatically] I am loving husband-

Shane: You are a menace.

Harris: Okay, I think it's time for a blind fold!

[Ilya smiles widely and brandishing the bandana. He ties the fabric around Shane's head and waves a hand in front of Shane's face.]

Shane: Ilya, I can feel you-

Ilya: Okay! Hi, camera! It is my turn to have pretty Shane try new food. I want to say, for record, these are not my favorite candy.

Shane: But isn't the point of this to be-

Ilya: Yes yes, boring husband. Why give you my favorite candy when I know you will think gummy bears are too sweet with bad texture? No, I give you candy you might actually like.

Harris: What did you pick out?

[Ilya shows an Almond Joy to the camera.]

Ilya: The healthiest candy there is. I would not call this candy. Basically breakfast bar with extra calories.

Shane: Ilya…

Ilya: Okay okay. Open up.

[Ilya places a torn off piece of candy into Shane's mouth. Shane chews slowly, a bit skeptical of Ilya's shenanigans. After a few seconds, Shane hums pleasantly.]

Shane: Oh, this isn't that bad! The coconut calms the chocolate down along with- Is that peanuts? Or maybe almonds?

Ilya: Hmm, so is good?

Shane: That's probably the best one I've had so far. I like the nutty flavor.

Ilya: Yes, we know you like—

[The video cuts, cutting off Ilya's joke. The next clip continues with Shane with the blindfold already off and glaring at Ilya.]

Shane: Go.

Ilya: Sorry, camera, for inappropriate joke.

Shane: Better.

Harris: Shane, what do you give Almond Joys on the scale?

Shane: Umm… a good seven out of ten.

Ilya: Seven?! I bought healthy candy for a seven?

Shane: Seven point five? It's a passing grade!

Ilya: Insulting grade. Is insult to me. Harris, we are done here. No more, cannot take it.

[Ilya storms off and Shane rolls his eyes affectionately at the camera.]

Shane: Dramatic asshole.

Harris: But we love him.

Shane: [Smiles dreamily off camera where Ilya went out of frame] Yes, I do.

[Video ends.]

 

Comments:

CentaursOttOfficial: Almond Joys are a [maybe] win for Hollander! Come check out our home game tonight at 7PM or catch us on ESPN from the comfort of your couch

Boodybood: Boooooo boring Hollzy

>IlyaRozzy81: hey only I can call my husband boring!

>IlyaRozzy81: …. but he is very boring

redserpentsara: Almond joys are soooo good!!! I'm with Hollander on this!

OttawaFanatic2698: Wait? Then what is Rozanov's favorite candy??

>IlyaRozzy81: [This comment has been deleted]

>appleguyharris: MY OFFICE

---

 

Halloween Candy Trial Part 5

October 30

[Video: Shane sitting on a stool with Ilya and Troy beside him, talking privately in low voices unable to be heard on camera. Shane looks from the two of them, to the camera, and back to the other two men.]

Shane: Why am I even here? Harris?

Harris: Its always dangerous when they team up.

Shane: Ilya? You done talking with your boyfriend so we can do this [bleep]ing video? Barrett, you ready?

[Text appears on the screen for about 10 seconds reading: Ilya is not also dating Troy. This is a team wide joke.]

Ilya: [looks over at Shane] You are so jealous. Is okay, it's hot.

Shane: Just blindfold me already.

[Ilya blindfolds Shane and gestures for Troy to go ahead. Troy steps forward and shows two candy bars in his hands: Twix and Twix Salted Caramel.]

Troy: Okay, so this [shaking the Salted Caramel Twix] is my favorite, but I though Hollzy needed to try the original first so-

Shane: Barrett, let's just start the torture.

Ilya: Is just candy, Hollander.

Troy: Okay, here's the original.

[Shane chews slowly before shaking his head and waving a hand in front of him. Ilya dashes off camera quickly and comes back with a small office trash can. Ilya guides the trash can under Shane and guides him to spit out the bite of candy.]

Shane: Nope, no, [bleep] that. Why is it so [bleep]ing sweet? One out of ten.

Harris: Not a zero?

Shane: Give it time, Harris. It hasn't tried to kill me like the Red Hots did. Actually, move the Snickers to a two. This was so much worse than Snickers.

Troy: Okay, no to the original. This next one-

Shane: You know what, Barrett? [Bleep] you.

Troy: Yeah, yeah. Open up.

[Shane shakes his head and takes a long moment before he sighs heavily and tentatively opens his mouth.]

Troy: [looks at the camera with a wince and mouths at the audience] I don't think he'll like this.

[Troy dropped the Salted Caramel Twix piece into Shane's open mouth. Shane chews the candy twice before shaking his head vigoriously. Ilya places the trashcan infront of Shane again and guides Shane forward to spit it out again.]

Shane: Two. Two. Why is everything [bleep]ing caramel?

Troy: Caramel is good!

Shane: [pulls off the blindfold to glare directly at Troy] You've had too many concussions. Caramel sucks ass.

Harris: Okay, okay. Regular twix is a one and Salted Caramel is a two.

Shane: [Looks straight into the camera] Help.

[Video ends]

 

Comments:

CentaurOttOfficial: Happy Halloween Eve! Don't worry, our Alternate Captain is NOT here against his will. We'll see you on the ice later tonight!

beebuzzbee: I need the uncensored version of these videos

anxiusanimus: love that Barrett could have done ONE, but he chose TWO

>doubledoubletrouble: diabolical and hilarious

penguinleftbehind: if I had a nickel for everytime they had to censor Hollander, I could pay off my debt

---

Halloween Night

October 31

For the last three years, Shane and Ilya have hosted Halloween night at their house, and this year they keep the tradition going. With the entire house decorated to perfection — courtesy of a designer Shane hired — and a overflowing supply of full-sized candy bars for the neighborhood kids, the Hollander-Rozanovs open their doors for their friends.

"Ilya can you help-"

"Shane, everything is perfect." Ilya kisses his husband firmly on the lips. His hands trail down Shane's sides, teasing the bottom seam of his very very short shorts.

Shane smacks Ilya's hands away with an eye roll that's only half serious. "Ilya, stop."

"What? You dress like sexy firefighter in those shorts and fucking crop top, yet I cannot touch?"

Shane looks down at his outfit. The shorts hug his ass just right and short enough to show the very bottom of his ass cheeks. The crop top (complete with stripes of reflective fabric) showed off his athletic core. Shane smirks at himself, enjoying the way he's on display.

Years ago, past-Shane would never have worn something like this, much less be seen in it. But now, after years of living out and proud, he's decided he doesn't give two fucks what others see of him.

He looks back up at Ilya and winks. "Yes, no touching. Not until after the party."

Ilya shakes his head, dressed in his own costume: a goddamn fire. "You're trying to put me out, Hollander."

"You can fuck right off if you're going to make fire puns. And, it's Hollander-Rozanov, you asshole."

Ilya blows a kiss at him and retreats into the kitchen to pull the ice out of the freezer before anyone shows up.

To Shane's horror, Luca arrives first, dressed up in rainbow with little multicolored dots decorating his outfit.

"Wh- Luca, what the fuck?"

"I'm Skittles! You know, my favorite candy!"

"Oh, well…" Shane shakes his head slightly. Weird, sure, but whatever. "Come on in. Ilya's in the kitchen."

Wyatt shows up in a full red body suit and a red bandana with the word 'HOT' painted on.

Wyatt winks at Shane as he walks in. "Don't eat me tonight, 'Kay? Don't want to give Lisa more work at the hospital tonight."

Shane blinks after him, frankly too fucking speechless to say anything.

Troy and Harris show up next, Troy dressed in a black shirt with a dozen Salted Caramel Twix bars taped to his body. Harris, thank God, is just dressed in a normal Halloween costume: sexy Gandolf.

Oh, Shane wishes he could go back to the day before sexy Gandolf was what he considers normal.

Either in groups or alone, each Centaur shows up to the party dressed as one candy or another: Young as Twislers, LaPoint as Nerds (or maybe he was just dressed nerdy?), Bood covered in Snickers bars, Evan Dykstra as a Gummy Bear, Dillon and Chouinard walks in together as a Left Twix and Right Twix which Shane thinks is just the same candy?

Okay, he gets it. Prank pulled successfully.

Shane manages to get away long enough to lean against the kitchen counter. This whole night has been a nightmare and where is Ilya? Shane's husband has been decidedly absent for the last thirty minutes.

Actually, Shane hasn't seen Ilya since Luca got here… right?

"Fucking shit," Shane mutters and downs the rest of his beer before grabbing another one.

"Stressed, moy lyubov?"

Shane's shoulders automatically relax when he hears Ilya's voice behind him. "There you are. I was worried you- What the fuck are you wearing?"

Ilya, who was part of a couple's costume with Shane, is now dressed in brown shorts and a brown jacket with a white shirt underneath. On the shirt, Shane thinks there are-

"Are you a goddamn Almond Joy?!"

Ilya laughs as Shane felt his irritation rise. Oh, he's sure his face shows every bit of emotion he's feeling because all it takes is one look from Shane for him to try to fix his face.

"Shane, is a joke."

"Jokes are funny. This is, what? Making fun of me?"

Ilya blinks in surprise. "What? No, no! Shane, it is gay Halloween. Like, dressing up as Galinda's flying bubble."

"Like what?"

"The point is, we dressed up as something viral, and your video went viral. I would not let them dress up as you because-"

Shane raises an eyebrow and holds up a hand. "If you say something stupid and cheesy and annoyingly sweet, I'm leaving."

Ilya sighs dramatically, but there's a knowing smile on his lips. "We are not making fun, Shane. You are famous viral person on social media. We are recreating moments, is all."

---

Shane closes the front door after the last stragglers and slumps against the door. He loves his team, but a whole night of people and drinking and music and navigating inside jokes still exhausts Shane. It probably always will.

"My sexy husband," Ilya says in a soft tone. "I'm guessing I can't persuade you to let me clean alone?"

Shane opens his tired eyes to see Ilya in front of him with Shane's over-the-head-headphones. Shane takes them with a smile. "You know better."

Ilya nods and blows a kiss. "I will set timer. Thirty minutes then we finish when we wake up."

They spend the entire timer in separate areas of the house: Shane collects trash and dishes, bringing anything that needs washed to Ilya who cleans the kitchen. Spills get cleaned up, glitter gets swept up, broken decorations get taken down completely.

When the alarm rings, Shane doesn't hear through his headphones. He keeps picking up around the house, enjoying the mindless flow despite the late hour. A few minutes after the alarm, Shane jumps as Ilya's arms wrapped around his abdomen.

"Ilya?" Shane calls out and takes off his noise-cancelling headphones. "Is time up?"

"Yes, no more cleaning house." Ilya turns Shane around to stand face-to-face with him. "There are better things for you to clean."

If Shane rolled his eyes harder, they'd pop inside his skull. "Gross, Ilya. You think I'm just going to drop to my knees because-"

"Yes."

"Fuck you."

Ilya kisses Shane lips and damn if Shane didn't melt into Ilya's body. Fuck, two seconds and he's already weak in the knees.

"I got us a little something," Ilya murmurs against Shane's now-puffy lips.

Shane pulls away and looks at what Ilya just pulled out of his jacket pocket: Chocolate Deliction Edible Lube.

"Did you have that in your pocket the whole night?"

"Is that really what you want to know?"

No, no it isn't. But what if it had fallen out and someone saw it? Yes, everyone knows they're married and married people have sex, but them witnessing lube is a totally-

"Jesus, fuck. Shut up, Hollander," Ilya teases and pulls him into a deeper kiss.

I didn't even say anything, Shane thinks, but he's quickly taken in my Ilya and his intoxicating body. Shane feels his knees give out and the carpet softens his fall. Shane pulls at Ilya's shorts, uncoordinated in his lust.

"Shh, okay, baby. You want to try my new candy?" Ilya asks with a smirk as he uncaps the chocolate lube.

"Fuck, Ilya. Please," Shane begs. He can feel his stupidly tight shorts get tighter, his dick straining at the flimsy costume fabric.

"Well, if you say please."

Shane finds his favorite candy that night on the living room floor: Chocolate Deliction brand of Edible Lube, ten out of ten.

---

Written by a human in Ellipsus.