Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Svetlana Vetrova, Rose Landry, Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags:

First Meetings, Alternate Universe - Online Dating, Single Parent Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov Needs A Hug, Top Ilya Rozanov, Bottom Shane Hollander, Rich Shane Hollander, Protective Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov is Obsessed With Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov is Whipped For Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov is Shane Hollander's baby, why is that not an official tag, Autistic Shane Hollander, a little bit of sugar daddy levels of spoiling the random grindr man shane finds hot, Confident Shane Hollander, Eventual Smut, Anal Sex, Fluff, Girl Dad Ilya Rozanov, Happy Ending, No Angst, Feel-good, Blue Collar Worker Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander is Good With Children, Ilya Rozanov is Good With Children, Dry Humping, First Dates, Shane Hollander The Stepfather Who Stepped Up

Language:

English

Series:

Part 1 of Single girl-dad Ilya Rozanov & Rich Shane Hollander

Stats:

Published: 2026-03-21 Completed: 2026-03-22 Words: 17,850 Chapters: 4/4

A Single Dad Who Works Two Jobs

Summary

----
DADDYLONGDICK81
➥okay i'll come but
➥i wont be alone
➥i will come with someone

He managed to find himself a decent shirt, even if it was a bit wrinkled, and put it on. He fixed his hair while gathering Raisa's things into their bag. The bag that had multiple Hello Kitty stickers all over it.

HOCKEYBOY24
➥What?
➥I thought I was very clear when I said I'm not interested in threesomes or anything like that. I'm looking for something serious.

DADDYLONGDICK81
➥no no it is ABSOLUTELY nothing like that i swear
➥i will explain when we get there
➥please just give me a chance
----
or: a broke, single girl-dad ilya rozanov goes on a grindr date with one rich shane hollander.

Notes

i was kind of inspired by @hudconrayts "puzzle piece" smau on twitter, here link: https://x.com/hudconrayts/status/2034573542692704397 which i highly recommend! this is a bit different tho :) i live for the girl dad ilya agenda <3
go ahead and play I'm A Surivor by Reba McEntire cause I was honestly giggling imagining Ilya sing it while battling single parenthood.

Chapter 1: Victim of the circumstance.

The text came just half an hour before the date.

Ilya was trying to get a stain out of his best shirt in the kitchen, mumbling to himself as nothing seemed to work. He didn't even remember how this offensive, red splash got onto the sleeve, and when he asked Raisa, she just smiled at him widely, giggling as she ran away to the living room, her blonde ponytails bouncing on her head. Whether it was food, dye, or something of even more suspicious origin, it was not coming off. He sighed deeply and checked his phone, frowning at the notifications. A few simple words made him call Lucy immediately.

"What do you mean you can't come?" He asked, giving up on the shirt altogether. "I have to leave in twenty minutes!"

"I know, I'm so sorry." Lucy sounded genuinely upset. "My mom twisted her ankle, I have to take her to the hospital. I really can't look after Raisa today. I'm sorry."

Ilya closed his eyes, defeated yet again by the circumstances he could not control.

"Can't your dad take her?" He asked weakly, already knowing the answer.

"He can't leave work now. I'm very sorry, Ilya, I didn't plan this."

Well, neither did he. 

He hummed a quiet goodbye, claiming he understood, because he did, of course he did. It was an emergency. Still, he had planned this for so long, he hoped there wouldn't be one. 

Two weeks. Between his two jobs, Raisa's daycare and playgroup, and this guy's schedule, he managed to book Lucy for one evening, one fucking evening, just a few hours, and her mother decided to ruin this for him. He knew Lucy had to help out at home, he knew she was in college, she had her own life, but it was impossible to find a good, cheap nanny in this area, and Raisa liked her a lot, he had to compromise. 

He put the ruined shirt into the washing machine, rubbing his exhausted eyes. Raisa, unaware of what was going on, kept on playing on the carpet, smashing her little cars together. 

He let out a long, weak groan, and she looked up, concerned.

"Papa?"

"It's okay, papa's okay." He said to her in Russian, crouching to pat her small head, full of golden locks. "Keep playing with your trucks."

He hung his head low, trying not to scream out of frustration.

Another text came through. His Grindr notification echoed in the small space of their studio apartment. He sat on the couch to read it, biting on his lower lip.

hockeyboy24
➥I'm on my way to the restaurant :)
➥I'll grab our table when I'm there.

Ilya put the phone against his forehead, exhaling.

Two weeks. 

He got so excited for nothing.

He had to cancel dates all the time, it wasn't anything new. Ever since he had Raisa, his dating life had reduced to casual, spontaneous hook-ups he met via the app. If he had a free evening or just a few hours to himself, he started swiping through the endless profiles and usually managed to secure a decent fuck within ten minutes. 

This was different.

He spent the last two weeks actually talking to this guy. At first, simply because their schedules wouldn't allow a meeting soon enough. Then, he realised he's been checking his phone in hopes a text would appear, and that usually meant he was already fucked. 

The man's name was Shane, as he learned quickly, and Ilya had no idea how the hell he ended up on Grindr of all places.

His profile was painfully modest in comparison to everything else Ilya has seen. A few shy selfies, a picture of him on the ice rink, one with a book covering half of his pretty face. A single photo of him at the gym, in a tight tank top and black shorts, nowhere near as suggestive or provocative as the endless shirtless thirst traps floating around on the app. 

Ilya thought he might be a bit more private, just that. He texted him a few times, smiling when Shane clearly didn't understand he was being flirted with. Talked to him during the morning rush, during his work breaks, and in the evening, after he put Raisa to bed and moved around the flat quietly, spending the very little time that he had to himself asking a man he's never met about his college studies. Shane didn't even send dick pics, for fuck's sake. It was endearing. Even if he was looking for something serious, as he claimed, it was Grindr. Two weeks of texting without meeting to fuck, or exchanging nudes, was basically an equivalent of waiting until marriage. Naturally, Ilya was quite fascinated.

He liked talking to this man. He liked his dry humour and polite, stiff wording of his sentences, and he was supposed to have dinner with him tonight, finally, if Lucy's mother didn't sabotage him.

He swallowed hard, typing.

daddylongdick81
➥can we reschedule? i had something come up im sorry

He bit on his fingernail, watching the chat. Raisa created a true catastrophe on their carpet, seven different cars crashed into one another, and she was currently looking for the fire truck in her plastic toy box, narrating the horror scene with her sweet voice.

hockeyboy24
➥Oh??
➥I thought today was good for you?
➥Um
➥Okay, it's fine, we can cancel

No, no, it wasn't fine. It wasn't fucking fine.

Ilya hasn't been on a proper date in almost five years. He loved Raisa to death, he'd never change a thing, but God, he was tired sometimes. He was twenty-two, trying to get his car mechanic licence in the shop down the street, and scraping together grocery money from his part-time job at the warehouse. He was on his feet all day, surrounded by noise and complaints, spending his brief moments of freedom on trying to unstain his clothes and tidying up the apartment. He wanted dinner. A proper dinner at a restaurant, he wanted to dress up a little bit, meet someone nice, even if his hopes were hanging by a thread and he was maybe three people away from calling it quits and staying single forever. Everyone ran away the second they learnt he had a daughter. He hoped that maybe he could charm Shane enough tonight to at least get a few cool dates with him before he broke the news and had to listen to yet another monologue about how things were going really well, but he's not ready for something like this, and, frankly, Ilya should have introduced himself with that fact all along. Who in their early twenties would want to go out with him if they knew he couldn't even go to a club on a Friday night? Reruns of Masha i Medved were playing on Friday. He had the entire cartoon memorised by now, but Raisa always asked him so nicely, putting her hands together and pouting, the little devil, and he could never really say no to her. Not when he was blessed with the kindest, smartest, well-behaved girl on Earth. The fact that she had him wrapped around her little finger was his fault, not hers.

He typed, bouncing his leg on the ground.

daddylongdick81
➥no not cancel i want a date just not tonight sorry

hockeyboy24
➥It's fine. I mean, you're nice enough to at least let me know you're no longer interested without ghosting me.

Ilya grimaced at the words. Shane seemed to be used to it. He once said, during the many texts they exchanged, that he had yet to go on more than one date with anyone he met on the app. People looked for quick sex, not life stories. He didn't seem to pity himself about it, it was just how things were these days. If anything, Ilya suspected Shane might blame himself for simply not fitting into that new reality. For wanting something real.

He glanced at Raisa, trying one last time and dialing Svetlana's number. She answered quickly.

"What is it? I'm at work."

He knew that. He needed to know many people's schedules to fit within them.

"Lucy can't babysit." He breathed. "Can you leave early? Please. I really want to meet this guy."

There was a ruffle on the other side, and a door closing. Svetlana moved to a quieter place.

"Is this the hockey guy?"

"The college guy who plays hockey sometimes, yes. Shane."

"Oh, crap."

"Yeah, I know. Can you save me? Please, I'll owe you so much."

Svetlana sighed, and he already knew the fight was over.

"Ilyushka, I'd love to, you know that. I love Raisa. But I can't leave now, not until eight or nine, we have important clients today. I'm sorry."

He cursed under his nose, wiping his face.

"What am I supposed to do?" He sounded strained and had to put a reassuring smile on his face as Raisa looked up at him, worried. He waved at her. "It's okay, sweetie, play with your cars."

Svetlana stayed quiet for a second.

"Maybe you could bring her with you?" She offered, and Ilya laughed sadly.

"To a date? Are you serious?"

"Well, what other options do you have? He's bound to find out sooner or later. You can't leave her alone."

He checked the time on his watch, trying to convince himself he won't make it in time anyway. But he would. He still had a moment to finish getting ready. The restaurant wasn't far.

"I'll think about it."

"Good. I have to go now, but please, try. You said he was really nice."

A lot of men seemed nice on paper. And then they either had a problem with Ilya being bisexual, or having a kid, or both. He wasn't sure how many more rejections he could handle. 

He said goodbye to Svetlana and stood up, texting Shane.

daddylongdick81
➥okay i'll come but
➥i wont be alone
➥i will come with someone

He managed to find himself a decent shirt, even if it was a bit wrinkled, and put it on. He fixed his hair while gathering Raisa's things into their bag. The bag that had multiple Hello Kitty stickers all over it.

hockeyboy24
➥What?
➥I thought I was very clear when I said I'm not interested in threesomes or anything like that. I'm looking for something serious.

daddylongdick81
➥no no it is ABSOLUTELY nothing like that i swear
➥i will explain when we get there
➥please just give me a chance

He hid his phone and clapped his hands.

"Rai, come on, you're going out with dad." He grabbed her thin coat, crouching to help her put it on. Raisa ran to him, leaving her cars stranded.

"Lucy?" She asked, tilting her head like a confused little fawn.

"Lucy can't play with you today. You're gonna go get some food with dad, okay?" He put her coat on her, fixing it over her pink overalls and yellow sweater. She stood still, allowing him to zip it up. "But you have to be really nice, alright? We're meeting dad's friend, and I want you to be polite. Will you be nice, sweetheart?"

She nodded, swaying on her feet.

"Can I have ice cream?"

"Maybe later." He picked her up with a tiny groan. At three, she has become quite big and quite heavy. She had his hair and eyes, he would be surprised if she didn't inherit his height as well in the future. Her face was still almost a carbon copy of her mother's. Same cheekbones, same chin.

He grabbed the bag and jogged down the stairs to their old, scrappy car, putting her in her seat and fastening the seatbelt. Raisa sang along to the songs on the radio as he drove through the city, checking how he looked way too many times in the rearview mirror.

Please be there, please be there, don't run away yet.

He parked and threw their essentials bag over his shoulder, grabbing Raisa's tiny hand in his as they walked through the glass door of the restaurant. It was a fancy one. Shane chose it. He claimed he was here often with his parents.

"How may I help you, sir?" A waiter stopped him, glancing them both up and down. Ilya was out of breath.

"Someone's waiting for me, we had a reservation? For, uh…" He stuttered, realising he didn't even know this man's surname yet. "Shane, something."

"Ah, Shane Hollander, our regular, yes. He's waiting in the back, over there."

Ilya lifted his head to look, blinking under the dim lights. 

He's seen a few pictures of Shane by now, but dear God.

He almost tripped, guiding Raisa behind him as he walked through the restaurant with a dry mouth.

Shane fixed the collar of his blue shirt, trying not to play with the salt and pepper displayed on the table for two. He's been nervous all morning, and now, he was on the edge of breaking. 

He doesn't meet nice men. Ever. It just doesn't happen. 

He tried the usual meet-through-friends thing with a few of Jackie's colleagues, but they were all either dull or ugly. Everyone he ever talked with on Grindr demanded pictures or sent them without him asking, and well, even if occasionally he could appreciate a nice view, the fallback of losing contact altogether after saying he'd like to date was too harsh for him to survive another pointless relationship like that. Interactions that gave him nothing and left him feeling empty, sometimes used, sometimes simply disgusted. Hayden claimed he needed to get out there and use his youth while he still can, but he couldn't be bothered anymore. Between college, hockey, helping out his parents, researching programs for the future, and trying to manage his share of the family's fortune, he wanted something stable. Real. 

When he matched with Ilya, to his great surprise, he thought it could be a start of that.

The man was gorgeous in every sense of the word. Tall, handsome, fit, with big, strong hands and pale blue eyes that made Shane lose his breath when he first saw them on his phone. And he was funny, charismatic, very straightforward, which usually helped a lot in Shane's case. He seemed to be…normal. A normal, cool guy. It was insane how rare that has become.

Sure, he was Russian, sure, his schedule was weird and twisty, but Shane was willing to take one last chance at online dating. He wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't. And then the guy wanted to reschedule.

Reschedule, right, he's heard that before. Let's meet another day! That means, never. It was cool, though. Thanks for your time.

He almost started crying on his way here, in the cab, decided he might as well eat something before he heads home, and then Ilya wanted to bring someone. Shane's head was spinning by now. He's never been more confused by the signals he's been receiving.

If Ilya brings another guy so they can fuck Shane together, this restaurant will witness one particularly ugly discussion.

But there was no one with Ilya. No other tall, big, horny man that wanted a piece, Ilya stood by the table with flushed cheeks and a…bag, for reasons Shane couldn't imagine, speechless for a moment.

Shane straightened up in his seat, putting his hands on his lap.

"Uh, hi." He said weakly, looking beyond Ilya's shoulder. "You said you would…"

He could only blame the sheer shock of seeing this beautiful man in reality for how long it took him to look down at the tiny hands clutching to Ilya's leg.

A small girl, a toddler, hid behind Ilya, looking at Shane with both cautiousness and curiosity, her golden hair put up in two pigtails. Ilya was so massive that she almost managed to disappear behind his thigh.

"Hey." Ilya spoke, putting one hand on the girl's head to assure her she was safe. His accent was heavy and rough, and Shane almost blushed at the simple word. Ilya lifted his hand at the waitress who passed them. "Can I get a chair for her? Thank you."

He put the bag on the floor, clearing his throat. Shane stared at them both.

"What is…going on?"

"I'm very sorry, I couldn't leave her. My nanny had an emergency." Ilya sat down opposite Shane, taking his jacket off, and oh, wow, yeah, that was…that was. His chest. His…clothed, obviously, chest, but Shane had to remind himself to close his mouth. "I really wanted to meet you, and…I couldn't…no other option."

Shane glanced at the little girl as Ilya picked her up from the ground and put her in his lap.

"And that is…"

"My daughter, Raisa." Ilya took her cute coat off and smiled softly as the girl turned in his lap to hide her face in his chest. He murmured something in Russian.

Daughter.

Shane continued staring at them until the waitress brought the baby chair, and Ilya put the girl in it, fixing the straps. Raisa swung her legs, looking around.

"I didn't want to surprise you like this." Ilya managed a soft chuckle, nervous, finally settling into his place. He gave Raisa his hand, and she grabbed his index finger with a quiet laugh. She found something truly amusing. "Sorry, she…she thinks it's funny when I speak English."

He was fucked.

This man in front of him, this Shane Hollander, was the most beautiful person he's ever seen, even more so in real life than in pictures, and Ilya had no idea how that was possible. He had a face full of freckles, captivating brown eyes, and his black hair flowed alongside his temples, styled carefully. His arms filled out his shirt in a way that made Ilya's eyes constantly fall down onto them. 

Raisa still giggled, playing with his hand as they got their menus. Shane's initial shock seemed to wear off as he put on a more polite expression.

"I bet she speaks Russian only, then?" He asked, and Ilya blinked. "Your, uh…I'm sorry, could you repeat her name? No, wait."

Shane put the menu down, looking at the little girl. He offered her his hand, pointing to his chest with the other one.

"I'm Shane." He introduced himself seriously. "Shane."

Raisa shook his hand with an intrigued smile.

"I am Raisa." She said in the sweetest accent, struggling to push the words out, clearly unused to speaking in the language. Shane nodded. His eyes sparkled softly as he lowered his shoulders, appearing less big, less intimidating.

"It's really nice to meet you, Raisa."

Ilya realized he's been staring only after Shane caught him. He cleared his throat, freeing his hand from Raisa's grip.

"She speaks a bit of English at daycare. I'm trying to raise her bilingually." He explained, rubbing his neck. Fuck. Stop rambling. "Is it okay that she's here?"

Shane nodded, opening the menu with truly endearing calmness.

"Of course, but…I don't think this is the right place for her."

"Oh. Yes, uh…" Ilya felt his stomach drop. "I know I should have found someone to take care of her, but the daycare is closed already, and…"

"I mean the food." Shane tapped the menu. "There's not a lot of child-friendly options. The kid menu is maybe five positions long."

Oh.

Ilya hasn't thought about that at all. He was still surprised Shane hadn't left already.

"She ate at home, I'll just…get her some fries." He quickly realised how that sounded. "I don't normally feed her junk food, of course, just today."

"The fries here are way too salty for a child, but the nuggets are okay." Shane looked through the page, to Ilya's utter demise, stuck on the kid menu. "Oh, and the chicken soup is nice, if she likes that."

Ilya nodded, letting out a tiny sigh. He leaned to Raisa, switching to Russian.

"Do you want bul’yon?" He asked, and smiled as she nodded. "Okay, dad will order you. Be nice, alright?"

She showed him his tongue at that, and he couldn't help but giggle. Shane looked between them with a fond look.

"How old is she?"

"Uh, three and a half." Ilya scammed through the options, pressing his lips together. "If you want to know about her mother…"

"I'm not…asking, if that's what you mean. You don't have to tell me." Shane hummed. "If you don't want to, that is."

Fuck. Ilya was not prepared for this.

He barely ever got to spit the I have a kid out before his previous dates packed their bags and left. Now, he had to start with the information. He had no time to ease Shane into this.

Shane seemed quite content in his seat, though, so maybe that was a good sign.

"She doesn't want to be in our lives. That's that." Ilya explained shortly. "She didn't want Raisa."

"Oh. Do you have full custody?"

Whose brain goes straight to that?

"Yes."

"That's good. I mean, since you're her primary caregiver." Shane gestured with his hand a little bit. "What are you taking?"

Ilya flipped through the pages.

"I can't decide. I never get to eat at nice places like this."

Shane pointed to one of the steak options on his menu.

"This is delicious. My dad usually orders that."

"Well, it's also deliciously expensive." Ilya chuckled. "Maybe I'll just get some pasta."

Shane's eyebrows rose, and Ilya's second warning alarm rang in his head.

Not only was he a single parent, he was also poor as seven fucks. He could imagine Shane's desires dying out one by one.

"That's okay, it's on me." Shane stated firmly. Ilya was sure he didn't hear him right.

"Sorry?"

"I can pay."

"Uh, no. No, absolutely not, you…I already stressed you out today." Ilya huffed quietly. "I'm okay, I can manage."

"I know." Shane looked at him, and it seemed he truly meant it. He knew Ilya could manage on his own. "You can still let me pay, this time."

This time?

Ilya's mind was so dumbfounded, he just nodded silently.

For the next two hours, the world seemed to shift. 

He must've woken up in a different universe. He was starting to suspect this was a dream. Maybe one of those really weird ones he got after watching Raisa's cartoons.

Shane was the nicest guy on Earth.

He asked Ilya questions, so many of them, about so many different things. His family, his life back in Russia, his two jobs, his friends. He looked actually interested in the answers, loosening up a little bit over the course of the dinner, smiling at Ilya's jokes, letting Raisa play with his watch, because she found it pretty. Ilya sat there, watching Shane take the watch off and offer it to the girl, claiming she won't be able to break it, and she can check every little button and the pattern on the strap. Ilya translated that for her into don't throw it into your soup.

And so, he asked Shane his questions as well.

He learned that Shane already had a master's degree in business, and he was already two years into studying psychology (I started college a bit early, it's not a big deal), and planned on starting a side course in sport management this year. He also played hockey growing up, and could end up in the league, but ultimately chose his educational scholarship over the sportsman one. Who the fuck gets offered both?

He still played occasionally, although not as often as he did during his first years in college. Nowadays, he devoted most of his time to either studying or helping run his family's business, ruled mostly by his mother. A few names rang familiar in Ilya's ears.

"Wait, is your mother Yuna Hollander?" He leaned over the table. Shane nodded, as if it wasn't a big deal. "You're kidding."

"What? Why?"

"My best friend, Svetlana, she works as an accountant downtown, and she's managing some papers about…uh, company…fusion, I don't know. She said your mom's name a few times."

"Yeah, we're buying Wikon." Shane waved his hand at the fact. "It's nothing exciting. It's a small firm."

"It's a…" Ilya repeated, letting out an unbelieving laugh. "I used to work for Wikon when Raisa was maybe a year old. It's not a small firm."

"Really? What did you do there?"

"It's a construction company, Shane, what do you think?" Ilya let out a weak laugh, his voice softening as Shane seemed embarrassed at his own question. "I don't have an education, I…I thought about going to college here, but I had Raisa at nineteen, so."

"Oh." Shane nodded slowly. "Well, you can always go in the future."

"Yeah, when she moves out." Ilya sent Raisa a smile, poking her cute, tiny nose with his finger. Raisa giggled. "Yeah, daddy's talking about you, angel. But I won't let you move out, ever, you're staying with me, yes? Until I'm old and ugly. We'll watch Moana until daddy's eighty years old."

He leaned over to kiss her forehead as she laughed at his nonsense. 

The waiter asked if they wanted a check, and Shane nodded, taking his wallet out.

"Card, please."

"You really don't have to." Ilya whispered, watching him pay. 

"I know, I want to." Shane smiled, and that was the end of the discussion. He left a ridiculously large tip, too.

When Ilya managed to take Raisa out of her chair and dress her back up in her coat, the familiar dreading feeling creeped into his stomach. The date was ending. He realised he didn't want it to end.

He scoured his mind for any excuses, any place they could go to next, for a coffee, a tea, whatever kept Shane by his side, but Raisa was yawning already, and she was a bit pouty, too. 

"Do you want a ride home?" Ilya asked as they stepped outside. "Or maybe go to our place? For…a drink, or something?"

He was fully prepared to hear a sympathetic no in response. He had a great evening, he was greedy to ask for more.

"Sure." Shane beamed at him. "If it's okay."

Okay? It was marvelous.

Raisa stuck to Ilya's chest as he carried her, already sleepy. He put her into her car seat, whispering in Russian as she asked if they could go home now. He opened the door for Shane and watched him get inside with a heavy warmth spreading over his body.

The warmth was quickly replaced by embarrassment as he fully understood what he was doing.

The flat was in a nice neighbourhood, at least, he made sure of it when he picked it. Raisa needed a safe space, not cars or criminals rushing down the road. But it was ultimately a tiny box filled with too many things, and he cursed himself for not cleaning up properly before he left.

"Is that the shop you work at?" Shane pointed at the building as they passed it. 

"Yes. If you ever need a car repaired, I'll give you a discount."

Shane laughed quietly. Somehow, he found most of Ilya's teasing endearing.

"I have a few." He murmured. "Cars, I mean."

Dear fuck, he was rich, rich. Ilya just smiled at the comment.

He parked and cooed at Raisa as he had to wake her up to bring her out of the car. She was exhausted. It was her bedtime already.

"Let me take the bag." Shane offered as they walked up the stairs, and Ilya had little choice to defy him when Raisa was occupying his arms. He mouthed a quiet thanks, finding his keys in his pocket and breathing heavily with each step up. 

He opened the door and let Shane in first, toeing his shoes off as soon as they entered.

"I will just put her to bed, okay?" He asked quietly, taking the girl's coat off. "I'll be right back."

Shane nodded, looking around with a soft smile.

Ilya changed Raisa into her sleeping gown as she was already asleep and carefully put her into her tiny bed, seated right by his in the closet he converted to a secluded bedroom. There wasn't even a window in here, just a fan and a lamp, but it was some sort of closed-off space that they both needed. They couldn't live and sleep in the main area. 

He straightened his shirt and quickly fixed his hair in the hallway mirror. Shane was inspecting Raisa's drawings on the fridge.

"Sorry, I know it's messy." Ilya tried to chuckle and found some clean glasses. "Do you want something strong?"

"I'm not great with strong alcohol."

"Uh, a bit of whisky with…this very original Coke?" Ilya pointed at the off-brand bottle standing by the sink. "Sounds good?"

Shane agreed with an amused look.

"You have ice cubes that look like dogs?" Shane glanced over Ilya's shoulder as he prepared their drinks. "That's so cute."

"Raisa begged me for them."

"Well, she has good taste."

They stood in the kitchen, since there wasn't really any place to sit. Shane had no right to look this good under such shitty lighting. 

"It's a nice place." He stated. He seemed to actually mean it, funnily enough.

Ilya looked around the small, old kitchen.

"I hoped to get something better, but it seems this is our budget now."

"Do you use any social benefits?"

"Can't. I'm Russian."

"With legal papers, and a child born in the States." Shane took a long sip, leaning against the counter. "There are a lot of loopholes in the law, you know? You could get quite a lot if you applied to the right places."

Ilya tilted his head sourly.

"I'm not good about paperwork. Not fluent enough."

"I could get you some."

"Some what?"

"Papers. For social benefits, for you and Raisa." He gestured with his glass towards the closet, where the girl slept. "With no unnecessary house visits or anything like that. You do have a job contract now, right?"

Ilya nodded, not sure if he followed.

"That's good. And her mom isn't paying child support?"

Her mom wasn't in the picture at all. Ilya agreed to just take everything on himself so he could raise the girl in peace without ever seeing her mother again.

"No." He answered shortly. Shane hummed.

"There are a few tax benefits that could relieve your paycheck a bit. I'll find the right forms."

Ilya looked at him, blinking slowly, the cold glass still in his hand, untouched.

"You'd…do that?"

"Yeah." Shane shrugged. "Of course. If there's a system you could benefit from, you should use it. You've got papers, you're paying taxes, I don't see why you shouldn't be eligible for some financial aid. There's nothing wrong with taking it, you know."

He did know that. His youthful pride had to step back when he became a parent. Any help was welcome, really. Any reasonable help that could make this easier for him and Raisa.

He felt like crying and laughing at the same time, but he just continued looking at Shane in awe.

He put the glass on the counter, clearing his throat.

"I had a really nice time today." He said quietly. "With you."

Shane blushed, and Ilya decided he needed to make him do that more often. It made his freckles show up even more.

"I had a nice time, too." 

"I didn't scare you away yet?"

"With what?" Shane muttered, confused. He set the glass down as well. "You're not a serial killer, or something, right?"

Ilya just chuckled, shaking his head and moving closer.

He lifted his hand to Shane's waist, melting at how well his fingers fit there, over the blue shirt. Shane's breathing stuttered, but he didn't move away.

"Can I kiss you?" Ilya asked, stepping in front of him, putting him between himself and the counter. Shane was already staring at his lips, nodding with enthusiasm. 

They met halfway, and Ilya could only let out a tiny groan at the intensity.

Shane kissed like a starving man, eager to submit to everything Ilya guided him to do, weak in his arms. He touched Ilya's chest firmly, his fingers pushing into the flesh under them, his legs spreading to let Ilya stand between them, flushed against him as their lips parted and clashed again.

Shane did something with his tongue that made Ilya's knees melt, and he continued to bring out the soft, gentle grunts as he grabbed Ilya's hair in his fist, deepening the kiss and panting under his touch. Ilya let his hands travel over the man's wide, muscular back, down to his hips, until he fully grabbed his ass, smiling as Shane leaned into the touch, lifting his leg and letting Ilya feel just how happy he was to be kissed by him.

Ilya lowered his head to peck at Shane's neck, grazing his teeth over it and feeling the goosebumps spread all over the back of his neck at the audible moan. He hasn't had a sip of the drink yet, and he was already drunk, Shane was so warm, so inviting, so perfect in his hands, growing hard against Ilya's thigh, his hands didn't seem to get enough of Ilya's chest and shoulders.

Ilya rolled his hips softly, kissing the man's ear now and closing his eyes at the response. Shane exhaled through his nose, scratching his fingernails against Ilya's collarbone.

"Fuck."

"Good?" Ilya hummed, rolling his hips again. Shane let out a quiet whine. "You sound pretty."

"Shut up. Oh my God."

He moved back just enough to look at him with a smirk, and Shane's dark eyes dropped to Ilya's body, his hand draping over his belly on the way down. He bit his lower lip, palming the bulge in Ilya's pants.

"Fuck, you're big, aren't you?" 

Ilya laughed at the question. He met this man on Grindr, and Shane still hasn't seen his dick.

"You have not seen my username?" He teased, smiling at the eye-roll. "You like that?"

"Yhm." Shane leaned to give him a short kiss again, his hand feeling like fire against Ilya's arousal. "I can handle big."

Endless possibilities flashed in front of Ilya's eyes, each one hotter than the one before. Ultimately, he felt a sour taste in his mouth as he realised that if Shane could handle it, he must've had a lot of it, too.

And if he had a lot of men, not one treated him well enough for Shane to stay.

A quiet, breathless cry came from the closet.

Ilya froze, looking over his shoulder and stepping back with a deep sigh. Shane didn't seem to understand what was happening for a second, his hands kept chasing Ilya.

"Sorry, I have to check on her. Fuck." Ilya groaned, all excitement gone from his body as he rubbed his eyes. "I'll be right back. Sorry."

He went from being drunk on desire to his usual reality. Tired, overwhelmed, and frustrated again. Still, he rushed to the make-shift bedroom and leaned over Raisa's bed, cooing at her quietly.

She was crying. She had a nightmare, she tried to tell him about some stupid witch turning her into an avocado. He lifted her into his arms and swayed around the small space, singing a Russian lullaby to soothe her.

By the time she went back to sleep and let him lie her down without waking up again, he was sure it was all over. He almost jumped in place as he walked out and saw Shane still there, waiting, sitting on the edge of the couch with his hands locked together on his lap.

"Is she alright?" He asked quietly, bringing Ilya out of his surprised state.

"Uh, yeah, she had a nightmare. A lot happened today, that's normal." He breathed. "You're still here."

Shane raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, of course. I mean, I should probably go now, but I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

Ilya was seconds away from calling this man's mother to ask her which factory made people like her son in this day and age. He nodded, understanding, even if he was a bit disappointed.

"Of course, you have classes tomorrow."

Shane smiled as if the fact that Ilya remembered it was truly groundbreaking.

"I do. But it was really fun." Shane stood up, fixing his shirt. "I'll get myself an Uber."

"Shane." Ilya grabbed his wrist as the man tried to walk past him. He gathered all his courage into one question. "Can I get your number? I mean, your actual number."

Shane blushed again, nodding shyly as he reached for his phone.

"Yeah, of course. You can put yours in here, I'll text you."

"Will you?" Ilya asked with a soft smile, typing the numbers in. "Promise."

Shane took his phone back and sent him a smiley face straight away. Ilya's phone, still in his jacket, buzzed.

"I promise. Have a good night, Ilya."

"You too."

He watched him leave and exhaled loudly a few seconds after the door closed.

If this was his last chance at finding someone normal, he can't fuck it up. Not more than he already has.

He wanted this more than he wanted anything in a long time.

Chapter 2: He's just too hard-headed!

Chapter Summary

---
ROSE
➥im gonna buy you the 'not the stepfather, the father that stepped up' shirt

SHANE
➥NO!

ROSE
➥is that a definitive no, or a 'too soon' no?

SHANE
➥…
➥Too soon.
---
They go on a second date. Shane organises something special.

Chapter Notes

The next time Shane could meet with Ilya was over a week after their first date.

He had to pull a few strings, googled a hundred different questions, and was thoroughly interrogated by his best friend, who happened to also be his ex-girlfriend. They dated for maybe two weeks back in college. Most people experimented by fooling around with someone of the same gender, not Shane Hollander. Shane Hollander had a straight phase, where he hoped to God he could get it up for the most beautiful girl on campus, who he absolutely adored as a person. He couldn't. His straight phase faded away as quickly as it started, but at least he had a good friend now. 

Rose
➥are you planning another date with the daddy???
➥its been like a week come on

Shane
➥Please, don't call him that, that's…weird.
➥And yes, I'm seeing him this Saturday! :) 

Rose
➥oh a weekend date now youre crazy like that?
➥you want that dick so much

Shane
➥Gross.
➥I really like him. And his daughter is so cute. 

Rose
➥im sure she is if she's got her dad's curls
➥where the fuck did you find this guy? he could be a model

Shane
➥I told you already, Grindr.

Rose
➥no, grindr doesn't have babes like that, only frustrated balding divorced creeps and twinks with daddy issues
➥this guy's a fucking marble statue
➥a greek god
➥please tell me you're planning on fucking him soon

Shane
➥Uh well, not on this date, his daughter will be there.

Rose
➥again???

Shane
➥I asked him to bring her!

Rose
➥im gonna buy you the 'not the stepfather, the father that stepped up' shirt

Shane
➥NO!

Rose
➥is that a definitive no, or a 'too soon' no?

Shane
➥…
➥Too soon.

He had to convince Ilya three times that he wanted him to bring Raisa. At first, Ilya said he won't be able to find a sitter for Saturday, and already offered to reschedule, but Shane was going to combust if he didn't see him again soon. Raisa's coming with them. Actually, Shane decided to plan the date differently once it was settled that she would be there.

He wanted to pick them both up, but Ilya reminded him that he can't just put his kid in the backseat, she had her own carseat and other accommodations in Ilya's car. Ilya couldn't leave home without a bag full of tissues, snacks, and toys, either. After Shane's excessive research, he learned that three-year-olds rarely used diapers anymore, could eat most food, and needed a nap during the day. They were meeting after Raisa's nap.

He got there faster and waited outside, pacing nervously as he saw Ilya's car. Ilya kept talking with Raisa in Russian, the girl was quite excited about something, holding his hand as they walked. She seemed a bit shy again as she saw Shane, but not as cautious as the first time.

"Hey." Shane smiled at them both, crouching to offer Raisa his hand. "You remember me?"

Raisa nodded, watching him closely with her father's blue eyes. She grabbed two of his fingers and shook them slightly.

"Hi."

"Oh, now she is quiet." Ilya shook his head with amusement, stroking the girl's hair. He braided it today, into one small braid that was secured with a pink ribbon. Shane's heart melted at the sight. "If I knew you had that influence on her, I would call you an hour ago. She would not stop talking."

Shane stood up, glancing between them.

"About what?"

"I have no idea. I can't keep up sometimes." Ilya picked the girl up with a groan. "My little chatterbox."

Raisa hid in his arms again, and Ilya sent Shane a soft smile over her shoulder.

"She likes you, she's just very shy sometimes."

"I get that." Shane hummed. "I get shy too, Raisa."

Raisa hid her face under Ilya's jacket, as if no one could see her if she didn't see them. Ilya laughed.

"Okay, no Raisa now." He looked at Shane. "Where are we going?"

He seemed much more relaxed today, less panicked, less out of breath. Shane pointed at the building behind them.

"Ice skating. Come on."

Ilya followed him with Raisa tucked under his jacket. She used to do this all the time when she was smaller, she seemed not to understand she was getting too big to fit there.

Shane walked them inside the building to the ice rink, which was completely empty. It was Saturday, it should be filled with people, families, kids, couples, but they were alone. Their voices echoed in the empty space. 

"Is it closed?" Ilya frowned. "There's no one here."

"I know, I rented it out for two hours."

The casual tone almost made Ilya believe he didn't hear right.

"You what?"

"I rented it out." Shane guided them to the benches. "I hope I got your shoe sizes right. I had to Google the height-to-size calculator."

Three sets of ice skates were laid out by the bench. One of them, undoubtedly, belonged to Shane. Hockey skates. The others were the normal, recreational type Ilya had on his feet once or twice after renting them at a rink. One were white. The others, pink. 

Shane got Raisa pink ice skates. Tiny ones.

Ilya stuttered for a second, putting the girl on the floor as she seemed interested in the skates. She ran to them, touching the shiny shoelaces.

The entire week seemed like a weird dream, and he still wasn't sure he woke up. 

Shane texted him every day, offered another date, claimed he'd love to have Raisa around again, and Ilya could barely keep up with all the sudden goodness in his life. It's been a fucking week. He shouldn't feel this touched by the gestures of a man he met literally this month.

"Be careful, this is sharp, okay?" Shane asked Raisa, crouching by her side and pointing to the blades. "Don't touch here, it will hurt. Ouch, see, like that, it will hurt."

He pretended to cut his finger on the blade, so she wouldn't even dare to grab it. She nodded, looking up at him. 

"This is for me?"

"Yes." Shane smiled at the broken, harsh English. "For you."

"We'll have to give them back after this, baby." Ilya hummed to her in Russian. "So don't break them, okay?"

Raisa nodded again, entranced by the pretty skates.

"I have knee pads for her, too. And a helmet. It would be good for her to keep her jacket on, in case she falls." Shane took out matching pink gear in a tiny size from the bag by the bench. "But I assure you it's safe. She won't get hurt."

Ilya smiled, pointing at the helmet.

"Do you have that in my size? I'm terrible at skating."

"You'll be fine. I'll hold your hand."

Ilya felt his face redden at the soft reassurance. Fuck.

He sat down and watched Shane help Raisa with the skates, talking to her slowly, explaining how she had to put the left one on first, then the right one, never the other way around, because it was bad luck. He handed Ilya the knee pads and the helmet, then sat down to put on his skates.

He was quick and efficient with it, and soon enough, he stood up, stretching a little bit. Ilya couldn't tighten up the laces properly; his foot kept slipping out. 

"Here, let me." Shane got on one knee to help him. Raisa stood up as well, shaking in her knees. She put her hand on Shane's back to keep her balance. "Is this okay? Not too tight?"

"Uh, no, is fine. Thank you."

He couldn't be trusted with a baby in his hands when he was barely able to stand up, so he watched Shane help Raisa get onto the rink and smiled at her laughter. She moved a few feet ahead and stopped, spreading her arms.

Shane offered Ilya his hand.

"May I?"

Ilya huffed quietly but held his hand regardless, stepping onto the ice. 

It felt weird, the ground was moving too fast, and he had to bend his knees to not fall immediately. Shane closed the rink entrance behind them, and, with the grace and ease of a fucking swan, simply skated around them both, backwards, rolling up the sleeves of his sweatshirt.

Ilya blew a raspberry.

"Show off!"

Raisa mimicked him, showing Shane her tongue, and the man smiled at them, doing a small circle on the ice. He skated to the edge of the rink, reaching for something, and returned with a hockey stick in his hand, leaning down and pointing it at Raisa.

"Hold this." He waited until the girl grabbed onto the stick. "Now, steady…"

He skated backwards, dragging her behind, and she laughed again, loudly, keeping her knees straight and fixing the helmet on her head. She waved at Ilya as they passed him.

"Papa, smotri!"

"Yeah, I see, I see, you're so cool." Ilya sighed, struggling to move at a pace even close to his walking tempo. He was pretty much stuck in one spot as Shane and Raisa skated around them. "Everyone can hold onto a hockey stick!"

He gasped when they moved by him again, closer this time, and Shane grabbed his hand, pulling him forward. Ilya bent his knees and leaned back, white in the face as he thought he was going to fall, but Shane's hand guided him firmly, warm and gentle.

"You are going too fast." Ilya breathed, watching the ice move under his feet. Shane giggled.

"I'm going as slow as I can. Right, Raisa?" He asked, and even though Ilya was sure she didn't quite understand him, she agreed. "See? Very slow."

"Well, how fast can you go, then?"

Shane handed him the stick so Ilya could keep Raisa within reach and sent him a smug smile before turning around on one skate and setting off so quickly that a small gust of wind hit Ilya's face.

He moved like a fucking racing car, seemingly almost effortlessly, too, taking sharp turns and switching to skating backwards, smiling brightly, completely in his element. He looked stunning on skates. Ilya had to focus to not lose track of him. Fast and beautiful.

Raisa clapped, impressed beyond reason. She tugged at Ilya's pants, speaking quickly in Russian.

"Papa, look, look, he's so fast!"

"I see, baby."

"Can you go that fast?"

"No."

She pouted, not satisfied with his response. Shane came back to them and stopped by turning the skates against the ice, spreading snow on them. Raisa laughed so hard, she almost fell on her butt. She extended her arms to him, demanding, but Shane couldn't understand her. He looked at Ilya with raised eyebrows.

"She wants you to teach her." Ilya hummed, his lips curling up against his will. "Raisa, say please."

"Please! Shane!"

Shane chuckled, nodding and bending down to gently grab her hands. He skated backwards, showing her how she should shift her weight and catching her when she tripped. Soon enough, Raisa could skate on her own, even if painfully slow, she tried her best. Shane let go of her hands and told her she was doing a good job before returning to Ilya.

"Do you plan on moving at all?"

"Fuck you." Ilya huffed quietly, wiggling on ice. "I'm not made for this."

"Oh, everyone is, in a way. Come on." Shane interlaced their fingers, pulling him forward again. "Don't try to push your feet forward, push the ice away with them, like this."

Ilya tried to copy Shane's movement, his knees still shaking. He tightened his fingers around Shane's, licking his lips and forcing his hazy mind to concentrate.

"You look pretty." He whispered. Shane's ears turned pink.

"Thank you. You look nice, too."

"Just nice?"

"You'll look better once you straighten up. Raisa has better form than you do."

"She's small! Less gravity."

"I'm not sure it works like that." Shane let go of his hand, suddenly, and Ilya's eyes widened as he lost his balance. "Hey, calm down."

He didn't see Shane as he moved out of the way. 

"What are you doing?"

He let out a soft breath when he felt Shane's hands on his waist. Shane skated directly behind him now, pushing him forward, making Ilya straighten up a little bit.

"Teaching you." Shane murmured right behind Ilya's ear, tapping the inside of Ilya's skate. "Further apart."

Fuck.

It was completely innocent, and still, Ilya felt his entire body heat up as he followed the command, skating with a bit more grace after Shane's tweaks. He relaxed, sliding across the ice. Raisa was attempting to skate in a circle now, focused.

"Can we go faster?"

"Do you know how to slow down if we need to?"

"You do." Ilya smiled, leaning back slightly, feeling Shane's chest against him. "You'll slow us down."

Shane smiled, kissing his shoulder before he picked up the pace. Raisa clapped at them both, raising her hands so much that the helmet moved onto her eyes.

It was one of the nicest Saturday afternoons Ilya had had in a while.

His feet felt weird when they finally got off the ice. Raisa couldn't walk for a moment. Shane called them rookies.

He packed his skates and stick into his bag, and gathered Raisa's pink gear and the white skates for Ilya into the other one, before handing it to the man. Ilya blinked.

"Oh, where do I return them?" He looked around, but the whole building was silent. "Where's the shop?"

"What? No, they're for you." Shane lifted the bag in the air. "I bought them."

Raisa pointed at the bag with excitement as her dad sat on the bench, confused.

"For me?"

"Yes, for you." Shane smiled softly. "So you can go skating with your dad one day. In your nice, pink gear, would you want that?"

"Shane." Ilya swallowed hard. "I can't take this."

"Of course you can, I'm giving it to you."

"I don't even skate, I…"

"Then you'll sell them online, get some extra cash." He finally put the bag down by Ilya's legs, as Ilya was quite unresponsive in grabbing it. "I'll go put my bag away, I have a locker here. I'll join you outside."

Ilya stared at him, speechless. Raisa learned how to walk again, and she was trying to look into the bag to see her skates.

"What the fuck?" Ilya let out and straightened up when Raisa looked at him. "No, sorry, you didn't hear that. Dad said, what the duck."

He picked the bag up and guided Raisa outside.

How much money has Shane put into this date?

The rink, the skates, the protective gear. Ilya had to swallow the lump in his throat as he put Raisa in her car seat. 

How could he possibly repay him? He didn't even pay for the dinner last time. Not to mention that he was forced to take a toddler everywhere he went, and surely, a guy he met on fucking Grindr didn't expect that from a hot, single twenty-two-year-old.

Shane was smiling widely as he joined them in the parking lot.

"That was nice, right?" He asked, as if he was really considering if Ilya had fun. "Not too boring?"

Ilya leaned against the car after he closed the door.

"I like boring. It was perfect." 

Shane blushed, nodding and lowering his head. 

"I'm glad, then. Well, I should…"

"Do you want to come with us?" Ilya asked before he lost his chance. "It's not too exciting, but I think we will watch Brave. Make popcorn. Do you like popcorn?"

Shane tilted his head slightly.

"I don't really, no." He exhaled. Fuck. This is it, then. "But, maybe I could just have a coffee? To watch the movie with."

Oh.

Yes, yes, yes.

"Of course." Ilya opened the passenger seat door. "Come on."

Shane had a small backpack with him, which he put on the floor before he settled in. He fitted there, strangely enough, completed the image, comfortable in the shitty car covered in various stickers and toys on the inside.

Ilya felt like a teenager on a date again as he drove through town. Raisa flipped through one of her many colorful books, swinging her legs.

"Our flat is a bit nicer today than last time." Ilya glanced at Shane, resisting the urge to grab his hand again. "I had time to clean."

"It was nice last time, too."

Sure. Before Raisa woke up, it was really nice.

He still felt a bit dizzy when he thought about kissing Shane, and he'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit to recalling that memory under the shower.

Shane reached into his backpack and brought out a small gray file.

"I have the papers we talked about."

Ilya furrowed his eyebrows.

"What papers?"

"The social benefits papers? Financial aid?" Shane laid the file in his lap, opening it. "There are a few interesting programs you're eligible for. I found the briefing in Russian, it should be easier for you."

Ilya looked between the road and Shane's calm face, no words escaping his parted lips for a few long seconds.

"You really found me social assistance offers?"

"It's not that hard. Although I imagine the process must be quite complicated for an immigrant." Shane sighed, as if he did this often, as if this was a normal thing to do for a man he was currently on a second date with. "It's more complex than it should be, really, but there are some interesting things here. Stuff that could help with minimal effort on your side. Nothing invasive."

Ilya stayed quiet, and Shane finally looked up at him, worried.

"Sorry, did I overstep?" He asked quietly. "If you don't want this, I'll take it back, it's…"

"Thank you." Ilya managed to say. "Thank you, I want it, of course I do. Thank you."

He blinked harder to stop the stinging in his eyes.

He's been alone for so long, he almost forgot how it was when people really cared. He had Svetlana, but she was so busy nowadays that she often didn't have time to even listen to him. A year ago, he had the same phase, too many things going on at the same time, and he stopped texting her back for two months. Life always got in the way.

But Shane had known him for less than a month. He had every right to end things between them after the first date. And still, he was there, with government documents on his lap.

"You're welcome, Ilya."

A simple coffee would never be enough to pay Shane back for all of this. Still, Ilya tried to make the best damn cup he's ever made. And he worked at a coffee store for a while.

Shane sat on the living room floor with Raisa, who showed him all her toys one by one, explaining in Russian. The man just nodded, even if he didn't understand a word, helping her arrange her dolls. Ilya smiled at the view when he came back with popcorn and the coffee.

"For you." He hummed, setting the cup on the narrow coffee table. Shane smiled at him from the floor.

"Thank you."

"Come up on the couch." Ilya patted the spot by his side, turning the small TV on. "Are you really okay with watching Brave?"

"Yeah, I've never seen it before."

Ilya opened his mouth widely.

"You've never seen Brave."

"No." Shane chuckled. "Is it the one with the blonde girl? Really long hair, tower?"

"No, that's Tangled. This one has a red-haired princess and a bear."

"Bear!" Raisa attempted to make a scary face, turning her hands into little claws, but Shane just laughed sweetly. "Big bear!"

She climbed the couch and settled against Ilya's side, curled up under her blanket. Shane joined them with his coffee, pulling his legs up on the couch. Ilya wrapped one arm around him, relaxed at his own home.

"Coffee good enough?" He whispered, leaning to Shane's ear. Shane nodded.

"Really good, thanks."

They watched the movie, and Ilya had to hug Raisa tightly during the fight scenes. She hated the big bear. Shane seemed to lean into him more during those moments, too, and Ilya tried not to giggle at it.

He was subjected to being Raisa's pillow, so he simply shifted in place as she climbed on top of him, lying on his chest, demanding backscratches. She fell asleep as she got them, of course, she was no better than her father in that case. She drooled onto Ilya's shirt, tiny against his body, completely exhausted after the intense day.

Ilya kissed the top of her head as the end credits rolled. She snored.

"She must've been really tired." Shane hummed, watching them.

"My backscratches are just this good."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yes. Instant sleep spell." He stroked the girl's golden hair. "She didn't even eat dinner yet. You must think I'm a terrible dad."

"No." Shane shook his head. "I think you're a wonderful dad, and she's just sleepy."

"Mm. Because of backscratches."

"Obviously."

Ilya smiled at him and gently pulled the blanket off Raisa,  wrapping his arms around her.

"I'll go put her in her bed. You stay here."

Shane nodded, not disobeying him one bit. 

Ilya undressed her until she was in just her SpongeBob t-shirt and gave her a thousand forehead kisses as he lay her down in her bed, gently wrapping the covers around her. He closed the door to the bedroom quietly, returning to Shane, who was just a few feet away.

He exhaled as he collapsed back onto the couch, looking up at the man with a tiny grin.

"Hey."

"Hey." Shane nudged their noses together. "Do you want to go over the documents now?"

"Mm, no. We can do that another time, I think." Ilya leaned closer, whispering. "Kiss me."

And Shane did. 

Slowly, lazily, and deeply, as last time. His fingers brushed through Ilya's hair, keeping him close, drawing out quiet moans from the man's mouth. He followed his guidance as Ilya dragged him on top of himself, onto his lap, setting his hands firmly on Shane's massive thighs. He had to look down to see if he really had so much trouble trying to wrap his fingers around them. He had big hands. Long fingers. He couldn't cover even half of Shane's thigh.

"Fuck." He breathed, moving his hands up under Shane's sweatshirt. "Gorgeous."

Shane whined at the praise, rolling his hips against him.

"You really like me?"

"Like you? Shane, God." Ilya giggled, feeling Shane's muscles at his fingertips, above his belly button. "I feel insane about you."

Shane hid his warm face in Ilya's neck, kissing it, sucking on it slowly, and making Ilya's eyes roll back. He moved his hands over Shane's waist, on his back, and lower, letting Shane's perfect ass fill out his fingers. He pressed his middle finger against Shane's hole through the fabric of his trousers, feeling him shudder in response.

"I'll be good to you. So good." Ilya mumbled, not fully controlling his speech at the moment, he was hard and desperate, Shane smelled like heaven, and kissed even better. "You like big, baby?"

"Fuck, Ilya…"

"I'll give you big. I'll make you feel so good." He was whining at this point, he knew that, but couldn't stop. He spoke against Shane's lips. "Do you want me to?"

Shane pressed another firm kiss against his lips, trying to catch his breath.

"I can't." He whispered, straightening up. "I have to go."

Ilya looked up at him, suddenly very aware of all of his surroundings. Of the toys spread out on the floor, of his daughter sleeping in the next room, of how this doomingly beautiful, intelligent man sat on his lap, and he could only offer him a coffee and sex, and it seemed like Shane didn't even want the latter.

"What?" Ilya muttered. "You can stay. I want you to stay."

Shane smiled at him softly, kissing Ilya's nose.

"I know. But I really have to go."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, of course not." Shane chuckled, caressing Ilya's face in his hands. "I just have some work to do. I really can't stay."

He seemed genuine. That made it even worse.

Ilya nodded slowly, receiving one last kiss before Shane got off his lap. He cleared his throat, shifting in place.

"Thank you for the ice skates." 

"No problem." Shane put his jacket on, still smiling. "We'll meet in a few days, yeah?"

Ilya hummed in agreement. He wiped his face with a groan when the door closed.

Fuck. It was really bad.

Chapter End Notes

shane google history:
-shoe size girl three and a half years old
-can i be a sugar daddy to a guy that's my age?
-how to be less intimidating towards toddlers
-single dad forums
-is ice skating good activity for a toddler
-protective gear for ice skating for kids
-ilya rozanov
-ilya rozanov car mechanic
-ilya rozanov car mechanic photos
-ilya rozanov montreal car mechanic photos

Chapter 3: With gentle hands and a heart of a fighter.

Chapter Summary

---
"Sounds like a gentleman."
"He is." Ilya leaned against the counter, lifting his eyes to the ceiling. "I didn't know they made men like this anymore. He's so well spoken, calm…"
"Boring?"
"Perfect."
---
They go on a date to see a Disney musical (Raisa asked).

Chapter Notes

He really tried to get a babysitter this time. 

He failed.

The only day Shane could meet him was Thursday afternoon. The daycare was closed, and Lucy had her weekly studying group that she needed to attend. Svetlana had a date of her own. He talked on the phone with her on Wednesday, cleaning up the flat.

"He really said it's fine?" She asked. "Again?"

"I don't get it. I mean, it's…it's nice, of course. He's really kind to her. But I'm…"

"Paranoid."

"...unused to this." He sighed deeply. "I mean, even if he is such a nice man, his patience must run out eventually. We haven't even, you know."

"Ah, our little princess is in the room? You haven't fucked yet?"

God, he was lucky he never put her on speaker. Raisa was putting together puzzles on the coffee table.

"Yes." He opened the dishwasher, the steam hit his face. "What kind of a gay man doesn't use the opportunity to…do that?"

"You said he wanted something stable."

"We can be stable and do things!"

"You've met him twice, Ilya. Believe me or not, in the world of normal adults, people don't usually fuck on the first date. On the couch, at that."

"Where else would we? You've seen my bedroom."

"If you can even call it that. Where are you going this time?"

Ilya took out a pot, setting it on the counter.

"Cinema."

"Oh, romantic."

"We're going to see an animation. A kid's movie. Something new from Disney." He groaned. "Because I have to take Raisa, and she can't watch movies for adults, I'm subjecting the hottest man I've ever met to watching some Disney musical."

Svetlana clicked her tongue.

"It's not like he's opposing the idea."

"He must be. No one's this patient."

Svetlana decided to redirect his thoughts.

"Does Raisa like him?"

He looked at the girl on the couch.

"Yeah." He admitted. "She does. He's so good with kids, you know? So…gentle, soft. I mean, they can't fully communicate, and he's the best with her. He's so thoughtful and attentive, and treats her like a person. It's endearing. He crouches to greet her, always shakes her hand, so serious, she loves it. She feels so important."

"Sounds like a gentleman."

"He is." Ilya leaned against the counter, lifting his eyes to the ceiling. "I didn't know they made men like this anymore. He's so well spoken, calm…"

"Boring?"

"Perfect."

Svetlana giggled on the other side.

"Shit, Ilya, you sound absolutely whipped. You have to send me a picture of him, you still haven't."

"I will. He's gorgeous, too, oh God." He let out a long breath. "And the sounds he makes…"

"Alright, enough, I don't need to know more."

"He's helping me get some financial benefits for Raisa." He glanced at the papers put on the dresser in the narrow hallway. "He got us actual skates, just to go to the ice rink once. Did I mention he rented the entire place for that date?"

"You mentioned he's rich as fuck."

"He's so…romantic in a way. In his way. Weird way." He smiled to himself. "Not how I am. Very subtly, very…matter of fact. Like it's just a normal thing to do, rent out an ice rink so he could teach me how to skate properly. And fail at that, I'm still awful."

"Ilya. I get it. You like him."

"And his freckles, oh God, Sveta, he has so many…"

"I get it!" She grunted, fed up with him. "Go on the movie date, text me how it went. I'm sure it will be fine."

"Do you have to go out with that dumb man of yours? Tomorrow, of all days?"

"Yes. Sorry, sweetheart, I'll take care of Raisa another time, okay? I promise. I'll make a whole tea party for her dolls. Just not tomorrow."

He lowered his head.

"Fine. Have fun, don't get murdered."

"You don't get murdered, idiot. Now that you said all those things, he does seem suspiciously nice."

Ilya hoped there wasn't anything bad behind it.

The next day, he picked up Raisa from daycare, went home to get them both ready, and left for the cinema. He wanted to pick Shane up, but he claimed he was doing some business in the centre anyway. He was already waiting for them in front of the theatre, in a gorgeous black coat and with two bouquets in his hands.

What the fuck?

One of them was the normal size. Various flowers arranged into a beautiful piece, red, purple, pink, a little bit of white, a few black ones, too. It was all tied up with a fancy ribbon and looked like it could pay a quarter of Ilya's rent.

The other was similar in terms of colors and flowers, but much, much smaller, like a miniature version. 

Shane smiled at them when they approached him, clearly so very happy to see them both.

"Hello!" He crouched to greet Raisa first, handing her the small bouquet. "For you."

Raisa smiled, sniffing the flowers.

"Thank you!"

"You're welcome. And this is for your dad." Shane presented Ilya the other bouquet, putting his hand on Ilya's elbow and leaning in to kiss his cheek as Ilya accepted the gift. "Hey."

Ilya couldn't really speak for a moment, so he just nodded, blushing as he looked at the flowers.

"What's this for? Is there an occasion I forgot?"

"No, I just wanted to give you flowers, and well, you can't forget the little lady while gifting her father, right?" Shane pointed at Raisa. "That would be rude."
Raisa let go of Ilya's hand, lifting her arms at Shane.

"Shane, up!"

"Hey, no, baby." Ilya tried to pull her away. "Leave Shane alone."

"It's alright, I don't mind." Shane chuckled, glancing between them. "If you'd let me."

Raisa seemed determined to be carried by Shane specifically. Ilya gave up, nodding, watching the man lift his daughter up with ease. She settled on his arm, sniffing the flowers and putting them under Shane's nose. He sniffed them as well.

"Do they smell nice? You like them?"

"Da."

"Da." Shane repeated, making Ilya smile at the pronunciation. "I'm very glad, then. Come on, I have our tickets."

Raisa was stuck to Shane like glue as they got to the theatre, and when he had to put her down to buy them popcorn and some nuts in caramel for himself, she stayed by his leg, looking up at the cashier. In the cinema, she had her own spot by Ilya's side, but she decided she needed to sit in her dad's lap. Conveniently, much closer to Shane than she would be in her seat, which now became a resting spot for all the flowers.

When the movie started, Ilya let his hand wander to his right until he felt Shane's fingers interlacing with his. He kissed the top of Raisa's head, wrapping his other arm around her.

His stomach fluttered when Shane lifted their hands to grant a soft kiss against Ilya's knuckles.

God, was this normal? He's had so many bad experiences that he was paranoid of the good ones. Shane seemed absolutely extraordinary to him.

He kept his hand in Shane's for most of the movie. 

Raisa was high on excitement and the sweetened popcorn, and as soon as they left the theatre, he had to run to catch up to her. She was practically jumping in space if she had to slow down. Shane chuckled at her energy, carrying their flowers.

"Does she get that from you?"

"Uh, maybe in the past." Ilya picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder as she laughed and squirmed, trying to get away to cause another heart attack in her father. "I'm too tired now."

"Parenthood can be exhausting."

"I don't think there's a part of my life that isn't."

He worked his ass off almost every day of the week, bending over engines and lifting delivery boxes from one shelf to another, sweaty, dirty, hungry, for minimum wage. He picked Raisa up from daycare, drove her to her playgroups, cooked, cleaned, repaired everything that always fucking broke at their shitty flat, and he was barely sleeping sometimes. Once he gets his licence and a better contract at the shop, he might be able to quit the warehouse and just about survive until the next paycheck. 

If he manages to get some support from the government, he could breathe a little bit more. He went over the papers Shane prepared for him, but his eyes kept getting blurry as he found more and more notes explaining what he was supposed to sign and why. The Russian version of the briefing almost made him sob.

There was no judgment in any of those documents. No ridicule in the notes, either. Shane wanted to help. He's put in so much time and effort just to help them.

"Tea? Our place?" Ilya asked as they reached the car. Shane smiled apologetically.

"I can't, I have that thing with Rose. I texted you about it."

Oh, right. He did.

"Let me give you a ride, then." Ilya opened the door to put Raisa in.

"Alright. Thanks."

Raisa's sudden burst of energy ended as soon as it started, and now she was napping with her chin on her chest. He wished he could do that whenever he wanted, just turn off and let someone else take care of him.

They drove in silence until he couldn't stand it anymore.

"What am I doing wrong?"

Shane looked at him, surprised.

"What?"

"I must be doing something wrong. I don't understand. Why didn't you stay last time?"

Shane shrugged softly.

"I had work to do. And it didn't feel right."

Ilya felt his insides shrink inside him.

"Does it turn you off? That I'm a single father?"

"What? No, it has nothing to do with that."

"I can't change it, you know." He spoke with a tight throat. "I know I can't offer you much, but I really like you."

"I like you too, Ilya."

"I don't want to be your friend."

Shane looked at him again, his eyebrows furrowed low above his eyes. Ilya gestured with his hand.

"I mean, not only your friend." He explained. "I want…more than that."

Boyfriend died on his tongue. He was ridiculous. 

Shane reached out to interlace their fingers again, by the gear shift. Ilya breathed out slowly, a bit calmer.

"I just don't want to rush it."

Ilya gave him a weak nod.

"Okay. We don't have to rush it. We can…see each other more, and…"

"No, Ilya." Shane smiled, kissing the top of Ilya's hand. "I don't want to rush it when it happens."

Ilya blinked, his face reacting quicker than his mind did, and he felt himself getting a bit warm again.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that when we do get to sleep with each other, I don't want to have to be quick. Once I get my hands on you, I want to take my time." Shane purred quietly. "And at your place, we don't really have the time, space, or freedom to do it properly. I wouldn't want to wake Raisa up."

Oh.

Oh.

"Yeah?" Ilya chuckled. "You're loud?"

"I'm not quiet."

He had to bite the inside of his cheek to concentrate on the road.

"So, what do you propose?"

Shane rubbed his thumb against the top of Ilya's hand softly.

"If you could get a weekend off, I'd like you to come to my cottage."

"Wait, weekend? Cottage?"

"Yes. I know it's hard to manage, but I can wait. I could help you find a good, reliable babysitter, I'll pay for them." Shane spoke quietly. "I have a cottage just outside the city, we could have some privacy."

Ilya raised his eyebrows.

"I thought you had an apartment in the city centre."

"I do. The cottage is my summer house."

Jesus fuck, just how much money did Shane's family have? Ilya could barely afford rent in a flat that was probably the size of Shane's bathroom.

He failed to form a coherent sentence, and so, Shane spoke again.

"It's okay if that's too much. I'll understand."

"No, I want to." He breathed out and checked in the rearview mirror to make sure Raisa was still asleep and not picking up habits from him. "I'll try to get some time off."

Shane nodded with a shy smile, all of a sudden, like he didn't just tell Ilya he wants to bring him to a private house outside of town, so Ilya could fuck him hard enough for Shane to scream as loud as he wanted to.

He stopped the car by the restaurant where Shane had his meeting with Rose. Shane let go of his hand.

"Text me later?" He asked, leaning closer to kiss Ilya on the lips, slowly, gently. Ilya's eyelids fluttered. "It was amazing today."

"It was." Ilya whispered, drawing out another kiss. "I hate seeing you leave."

Shane laughed, stroking his cheek before he opened the car door.

"You're a flirt."

"Ah, you just noticed?" He licked his lips. "Have fun, handsome."

Shane waved at him and closed the door, walking to the restaurant.

Chapter End Notes

Raisa, are you ready to have a rich stepfather yet?

Chapter 4: I must have had my momma's will (and God's amazing grace).

Chapter Summary

----
"Hey, you texted me wrong address." He stated. "I'm in front of some villa."
"What? Wait." The front door opened. "No, you're here. Come on."
He couldn't see Shane from the distance, just a silhouette, but the gate opened slowly, revealing a long driveway leading to a huge, mostly glass, modern house.
Ilya hung up, too stunned to speak, yet again.
"What the fuck." He breathed, driving through the gate. "This is a cottage?"
----
Shane and Ilya get a weekend to themselves, finally.

Chapter Notes

By some divine miracle, Svetlana had a free weekend next week.

She had work on Friday, but just until 2pm. Saturday and Sunday were completely unplanned, which was fairly rare for her. No dates, no meetings, no trips. Ilya was ready to beg her to death if she didn't agree. Luckily, she said yes at the very second he asked.

Raisa kept bringing her toys into his tiny suitcase, thinking they were leaving together, and he kept having to tell her he was going alone and she was staying with aunt Sveta. She liked staying with aunt Sveta. She didn't like that he was leaving somewhere, without her, at that. How dare he? She's coming. She has her little stuffed otter, and she is going with him, that is that. Four dresses and one sock, she's already packed. Ten books about animals. Fourteen lego blocks. Half of a face cream. She's ready to go.

He methodically took the things out of his suitcase as he folded his clothes and arranged them inside. He had to hide the condoms from her, stuffing them into his underwear bag.

As soon as he packed himself, he had to pack her, and let her finally choose her clothing for the weekend. She wanted to bring her tiger costume. Sure. He had enough wisdom not to expect any reason from toddlers. And her plastic fairy wings! Of course. Such a necessity. 

He dropped her off at Svetlana's and kissed them both on their cheeks as he left. 

"I owe you." He said to Svetlana, running his hands through his hair. "So much."

Svetlana smiled, letting Raisa run into the house and lowering her voice.

"Go get your dick wet. God knows you deserve it."

"You're an angel."

"You'll tell me more when you're back. Now, go." She waved her hand at him. "Go fuck your boy."

He wasn't his boy. Not yet, anyway, he was just…Shane. A man he's been seeing. A man that his daughter adored already, and he couldn't blame her one bit, Shane was quite wonderful.

So weird sometimes, in his peculiar ways. In his routines and specific tastes, in the way his face sometimes expressed something entirely different than what his mouth did. He knew so much about so many things, and then suddenly claimed Cardi B was a man, absolutely clueless about pop culture. Raised on another planet, perhaps. So fucking strange.

Ilya found himself smiling stupidly as he drove to the address Shane had texted him. He liked strange. He felt hot all over simply recalling the memory of Shane kneeling to fix his skates for him. Left one first, then the right one, never the other way around. 

The scenery changed, nature became more prominent, and for a moment, he thought something was wrong. His stomach felt weird. His hands sweat a bit. Was the temperature different outside the city zones? The air pressure?
No. He was fucking nervous.

He's had his fair share of sexual partners, he had living proof of that. But he's never been with Shane. He hasn't even seen him shirtless. He could imagine, based on the gym picture, and the way Shane's body felt against him, he could speculate. But he's never really seen him. 

What if they don't click after all?

Kissing was amazing, touching was even better, but what if, fundamentally, they fuck and it's just…fine? Shane might as well be a perfect man for him. There had to be something to balance it out. Ilya wasn't lucky enough to find a nice, smart, kind, handsome guy who also happened to be great in bed. Things like that just didn't happen to him anymore. He was too old for fairytales.

He still hoped for one, though. He couldn't stop hoping.

As he got to the cottage, he had to double-check the address. This surely wasn't what Shane had meant. This wasn't a cottage.

He called Shane straight away.

"Hey, you texted me wrong address." He stated. "I'm in front of some villa."

"What? Wait." The front door opened. "No, you're here. Come on."

He couldn't see Shane from the distance, just a silhouette, but the gate opened slowly, revealing a long driveway leading to a huge, mostly glass, modern house.

Ilya hung up, too stunned to speak, yet again.

"What the fuck." He breathed, driving through the gate. "This is a cottage?"
This was a fucking castle. A residence. Eighty percent of it was made of glass, the rest was wood and stone, set among tall trees, and…was that a fucking lake? Shane had a house by the lake?

He parked, getting out and grabbing his suitcase. He looked up at the house, almost missing a step leading to the door.

"You made it. Hi." Shane smiled at him, standing in the doorway in grey pants and a black sweater. He looked like a millionaire in this scenario. Fuck, he probably was a millionaire. A millionaire who just leaned in to kiss Ilya on the lips as a greeting. "I can't really believe you're here."

Ilya huffed, stepping inside the house.

"I can't either. You call this a cottage?"

"Yeah." Shane shrugged. "It's a summer home. A cottage."

"You don't live here every day?"

"No, I live in the city. It's closer to the university and my parents." Shane took his suitcase from him. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll make you something to drink. I bought you Coke."

"Oh, yes, please. With some ice."

"Of course."

He took his shoes off, looking around like a kid in a chocolate factory. 

It was truly outrageous how large the place was. How beautiful, too, well designed, still cozy, despite the spacious main area. His suitcase disappeared somewhere, and Shane moved past him to go to the kitchen.

They were alone. For the first time ever, truly, at least without Raisa sleeping behind the closest wall.

Ilya turned around to see the whole living space with a slightly open mouth.

"This is crazy. Where do you keep your cars?"

"There's one in the garage. The others are in the city."

Ilya walked up to him, watching Shane pour the Coke over ice in a designer glass.

"Which one do you have here? A Lamborghini?"

Shane laughed shortly, shaking his head.

"I don't like sports cars. I have a Jeep here. Good in the snow."

Ilya groaned.

"Uh. I thought you would have more taste with a house like that."

"Do you like it?" Shane handed him the drink. "Lots of windows, I know, but it keeps the natural light flowing in."

Ilya nodded and took a small sip, looking outside to the backyard.

"You have a whole lake?"

"Yes." Shane answered like it was fucking normal.

"Why?"

"What do you mean, why? It came with the property. There's a fire pit there, too. A dock."

"A dock." Ilya snorted. "You have a boat?"

"Not here, no. I only have kayaks here. Do you like kayaks?" Shane wrapped his arms around himself, sounding so soft, Ilya almost melted. He had this entire fucking palace placed by a private lake, and he was still worried if Ilya found it at all entertaining. "We could race on them. I have some video games, too, and…"

The rest of his sentence died in Ilya's mouth as he was being kissed.

He put the drink away to grab Shane's hips, pulling them forward, devouring him. Shane, initially surprised, kissed him back with his hands in Ilya's hair, speaking between breaths.

"Let me finish…"

"You're stupid." Ilya murmured against his lips, smiling.

"I'm trying to get my second degree!"

"And you're still stupid. Shane." Ilya pecked at his lower lip, sweetly. "I could just sit with you and be happy. But we can go race on the kayaks tomorrow, sure."

Shane muttered something, embarrassed.

"It was just an idea. I don't want you to be bored."

"I want boring. I had enough excitement already. I know it's hard to imagine, but I was really exciting when I was younger." He felt a satisfying tickle when Shane laughed at his words. "And now I'm too tired to be exciting. I just want…peace."

Love.

Stability.

Safety.

For him and his daughter. Nothing else and nothing more. Just a fair chance at a predictable life. Whatever unpredictability fate had for them, he'd rather face it with at least a little bit more steady ground under his feet. Now, every little crisis was pushing them to the edge.

Shane nodded, looking up at him through his long eyelashes.

"Okay. I can give you a tour, then?"

Ilya would fucking love a tour.

Turns out, the main area, which was already huge, was just a part of the whole house, which seemed to have more rooms than a student dorm. Ilya followed Shane around with his mouth hanging open, speechless. The shower was big enough to fit twelve people in it. His leaked. And was barely able to contain the big plastic bowl he washed Raisa in. 

The backyard was carefully nursed by a gardener, the grass was trimmed, the flowers arranged in neat rows by the house. It was quiet here, if not for the subtle singing of cicadas and the occasional birds chirping. By the end of the tour, the sun was slowly setting over the serene lake.

Shane made them dinner, burgers, which were…alright. Not everyone is perfect. Even Shane. The meat was good, the buns a bit burnt at the edges, and he kept blushing and explaining how it wasn't his fault while Ilya laughed.

Cooking wasn't Shane's most prominent talent, but he could work a decent fire. Ilya sat in his hoodie on the wooden bench, watching the flames rise to the sky. He felt like a kid again, warming up in a campsite, breathing in the fresh, cold air, with his belly full and his shoulders relaxed.

Shane sat by his side and shyly offered his lap as a pillow for Ilya's head, and who was Ilya to resist the temptation?

Everything smelled of wood and grass, and Shane's thighs were so comfortable under his cheek that he melted against him. A corner of his lips rose as Shane brushed his fingers through Ilya's hair. 

"This is nice." He murmured. Shane's thumb brushed against his ear.

"Is it? I have a feeling you don't get to relax a lot."

Ilya smiled weakly, nodding.

"Yes."

He was sure they'd fuck the second he entered the house. It's been hours. He was lying on a bench with his head in Shane's lap, watching the fire.

He reached into his pocket to get his phone and checked his chat with Svetlana. She sent him a picture of Raisa with her hair up, a facemask on her tiny face, and comfy, fuzzy socks on her feet. Girls' night!

"Is Raisa doing alright?" Shane asked quietly. "You miss her already?"

"A little bit. And she's okay." He showed Shane the picture. "She's so spoiled."

"She's well-loved. She's lucky to have good people around her."

Ilya hid his phone with a soft sigh.

"I'm barely getting by sometimes."

She deserved better. She deserved her own room, a father who wasn't always tired, good clothes, and a good school in the future.

Shane scratched the back of Ilya's neck with his fingers, speaking quietly.

"You're doing everything you can. You're…you're really special, Ilya." He lowered his hand to stroke Ilya's jaw with his knuckles. "I've met so many immature assholes that I know what I'm talking about."

Ilya smiled.

"You think just because I have a kid, I am not immature?" He bit on Shane's thigh, making him laugh. "I will show you immature."

Shane pulled on his hair in revenge. 

"You're remarkable."

Ilya swallowed the gulp in his throat, watching the fire again. 

Shane sounded so sure of it. 

"I don't have anything to offer you." Ilya hummed. "I can try, but I'm…things always go sideways for me. I don't have money. I don't have a degree, or a stable job, or even a nice flat, like you do. My car's fifteen years old."

"That's okay."

"I'm always sleepy. Half of the year, I'm sick with something Raisa brought from daycare. I have to save up to buy a new toaster. I trip over toys and eat leftovers at night." He had to take a longer breath to stop his voice from breaking. "My girl is the most important thing to me."

"I know." Shane stated firmly, caressing his cheek. "That's good. I know that. She will always be your priority."

"I don't know if you can take it."

"I'd be worried if she wasn't." Shane chuckled. "She's part of you, and she's amazing. Bright, like her dad."

Ilya chewed on the inside of his cheek, keeping his eyes open to stop himself from crying.

He sat up, looking at Shane and taking his face in his hands.

"What's wrong with you?"

Shane frowned, confused.

"Um. I don't know?"

"What is wrong with you? I have to know. There has to be something."

Shane focused really hard, serious, thinking for a moment.

"I don't always get what people mean. My friends always tease me about it, but I just…I don't get suggestions quickly, I guess? And I tend to overstress sometimes, and think too far ahead, and I'm not a great cook, which you had the occasion to see already. And there's a lot more, but you'd have to give me some time. I can give you a list if you're willing to wait until tomorrow or…"

Ilya pressed their lips together, hard, exhaling heavily as they parted, his hands still on Shane's cheeks.

"I don't get it." He whispered. "I mean, I can't give you anything you wouldn't already have."

Shane frowned again, lifting his hand to wrap his fingers around Ilya's wrist.

"You already gave me more than most."

"Shane…"

"Do you want to go inside?"

Yes.

Ilya nodded weakly, standing up and pulling Shane by his sweatshirt.

It felt like a movie.

None of the usual urgency Ilya had to endure to fulfill his desires over the last few years. None of the harsh treatment he sometimes received, or the lack of enthusiasm in reciprocating his touches. Shane guided him to his bedroom, left only the small, dim lights on, smiling at him shyly as he slipped his fingers under Ilya's hoodie.

"Can I…?"

"Yes." 

Shane undressed him with nothing short of devotion in his eyes.

He ran his hands down Ilya's chest, trying to take it all in in one go, his gaze kept moving, memorising the view.

"Jesus fuck."

Ilya chuckled, looking down at the curious fingers brushing over his abs.

"I work physically."

"I know, but this is…dear God."

Shane was completely, absolutely, super-duper gay.

"You're an athlete." Ilya hummed, tickling Shane with his touches under his sweatshirt.

"Former. I don't play a lot anymore."

"Right. You just rent out an ice rink for your dates."

Shane scrunched his nose cutely.

"Just one date."

Maybe Ilya really was special in his eyes.

He knelt to undo Ilya's belt after folding his hoodie and t-shirt carefully, looking up with dark eyes. Ilya cupped his chin in his hand and stroked his lower lip with his thumb, exhaling when he saw Shane open his mouth to take the digit in.

"You have a good mouth?"

Shane leaned forward as Ilya's jeans fell to the ground, pushing his face into the man's crotch, still clothed in his boxers.

"Yes."

He mouthed along the slowly growing bulge, making Ilya shiver at the tiny touches of his wet, warm lips. Ilya's hand found its way into Shane's black hair, keeping him close.

"What do you want to do?"

Shane looked up at him, drunk with hunger.

"Everything. Will you give it to me?"

How could Ilya refuse?

He pulled Shane up, kissing him as they moved onto the bed. Shane struggled to unzip his pants for a moment, and Ilya simply smacked his hand, pushing it away to do it himself.

"You do nothing. I take care of you." He murmured, settling between Shane's legs. "Understood?"

Shane nodded with a weak, delicate whine.

"Okay."

He was gullible under Ilya's hands, arching his back as he was being undressed, opening his mouth for slow, deep, wet kisses, and letting Ilya trace every inch of his body with his fingers. Perfect. Docile and demanding at the same time, an addictive mix of submission and bossiness that had Ilya hooked like a drug the second he tasted it.

Not only did Shane let Ilya take care of him, he wanted it, he needed it. In every tiny moan and plea, he looked up at Ilya with a hazy certainty, knowing everything he asks for will be given to him. He wanted to be kissed while Ilya opened him up, so Ilya kissed him. He wanted Ilya to suck on his neck, so Ilya did. He whispered for more in the dark silence of the room, and Ilya was willing to give him everything.

They could explore, kiss for long, lazy minutes, touch, and giggle. He propped Shane under himself, lifting his legs, mouthing at his jaw.

"Is okay?"

"Yeah." Shane put his hand in Ilya's hair above the nape of his neck, wrapping his insane thighs around him. "Is okay."

He tried copying Ilya's accent, and only made him laugh.

"You want to mock me now?" Ilya purred, biting on his lower lip. "I might…it's been a while, so…"

"Me too." Shane nudged their noses together. "We have a lot of time."

Ilya nodded, looking down to align himself properly. He checked one more time before pushing in, his eyes immediately rolling back.

"Fuck. Ah." His arms shook as he held himself up, watching Shane's face. "Shane?"

"It's good. So good." Shane's eyebrows were furrowed as he took shallow breaths. "You can go harder."

Harder? Ilya was hoping not to come within the next minute.

He watched Shane push his head back into the pillow as he rolled his hips, entranced. He moved one hand up to grab Shane's hair, keeping his neck exposed as he kissed it.

He started slowly, and soon enough, he had very little control over anything anymore.

Shane's moans filled his head, and his body chased the almost overwhelmingly good pressure, smacking his hips against Shane's ass quickly, sucking on his neck, his shoulders, his lips. Nothing else seemed to exist for a moment. Shane had every limb wrapped around him like an octopus, and the sounds he made were fucking obscene.

"Don't stop, don't stop, please, oh fuck, fuck…" He panted between Ilya's thrusts, loud, pleading, as if Ilya could deny him any of this. "Ah, right-right the-oh God, I'm…"

His own orgasm seemed to surprise him as he clenched Ilya's hair in his hands, groaning loudly, going cross-eyed for a second. He tensed up so much that Ilya had to stop to not pass out.

He whined into Shane's chest, rolling his hips a few more times, until his burning cock couldn't take anymore, spilling into the condom. He was all wet with sweat and Shane's cum as he rolled off of him, pulling out.

Neither of them could speak for a longer moment, gasping for air like they had run a marathon. Ilya looked up with a lopsided grin.

"Worth the wait?"

Shane smiled at him, exhausted, and simply moved closer to kiss his forehead.

Ilya's heart melted inside him, slowing down at last. 

He brought Shane closer, looking out at the lake outside. It was dark. The fire was slowly dying in the pit.

Any doubt about not clicking with Shane in bed was completely erased. This man was made to take him apart.

Shane moved to sit up, and Ilya's hand fell from his back.

"Don't go."

"I'll bring us water." Shane explained with a hoarse voice, leaning down to press a soft kiss against Ilya's lips. "I'll be right back."

Ilya stretched in the bed, taking the condom off to clean himself at least a little bit. Shane had tissues on the nightstand. Always prepared.

Shane came back with two glasses, smiling at him. He handed one to Ilya, sitting down in the messy sheets.

"Thank you." Ilya breathed and took a few long sips.

"You're welcome. You want to go again?"

They did. 

And again.

And again.

Every way they could. 

With Shane riding him, flushed pink all over, beautifully vocal. With Shane on his hands and knees, begging, digging his fingers into the pillows. With Shane between Ilya's legs, taking him down his throat as Ilya tried not to go insane at just how good he was at it. 

The entire first night, they napped, fucked, napped again, laughed quietly, and kissed mid-conversation. By the time Ilya was absolutely spent, the sun was getting up. He fell asleep as Shane was telling him about something, tucked under Ilya's chin, close, warm, and safe.

He woke up to the scent of freshly brewed coffee.

Shane was walking into the bedroom with two cups, freshly showered, in black boxers and glasses on his face, the grey binder with documents under his armpit. Ilya brought it just in case, left it on top of his suitcase last night.

"Hey." Shane put his coffee on the nightstand, handing Ilya the other one as the man rubbed his eyes and slowly sat up, sore all over.

"Uh, hey. Why are you up already?"

"It's past noon." Shane giggled, joining him in bed and opening the binder. "I let you sleep."

Ilya hummed, taking a sip. Jesus, Shane had the best coffee machine.

He looked up at him with a lazy smile.

"You wear glasses?"

"For reading, yes." Shane fixed them on his nose. "Don't laugh."

"I'm not laughing. They're hot."

Shane snorted, probably thinking he was joking.

"I went over the papers again. There are a few options you could choose without ruling them out, simultaneously."

Ilya blinked slowly, looking at the documents.

"I just woke up. And I…I don't understand half of it." He took another sip, embarrassed. "It's…too many specific words."

"They make it overly complex to discourage people from applying." Shane shook his head with irritation. "But it shouldn't be that way. There's help you can get, for you and Raisa, and it better go to you, since you actually need it. There are many people who abuse those systems, but you have every right to use them. I hope it changes in the future, becomes a bit…less complicated. I'll look into it."

Ilya tilted his head with amusement.

"You'll look into it?"

"Yes, once I'm done with psychology, I'll start studying law."

Ilya kissed Shane's bare bicep, purring.

"You're making it hard for me to focus now, with your hot glasses and smart brain."

"I'll explain everything. Look, this one, for example." He picked one page, showing it to Ilya, again, oblivious to the fact that he was being flirted with. "You'd have to show me how you do your taxes, because it's impossible for you to pay that much now. We can cut it short with a few forms."

Ilya lay his head on Shane's shoulder as the man explained, a warm feeling spreading all over his body.

We.

They spent the morning going over the documents, ate breakfast, went swimming in the lake. They actually went kayaking, and finally, Ilya could prove he was better at something than Shane was, laughing loudly as he took sharp turns on the water, while Shane fell into it.

Another dinner, made by Ilya this time. Another slow evening on the couch, a quick call to Svetlana to check if everything was alright with Raisa. She talked to her dad over the phone, excited, asking him when he's coming back, and actually begging for another weekend with her auntie. Spoiled. 

Good spoiled. The way it should be.

After three more rounds of truly unforgettable sex, Ilya fell asleep wrapped in the covers, content and relaxed. That is, until he felt a hand on his face, stirring him awake.

"Ilya?"

"Hm?"

"Are you awake?"

Ilya blinked slowly, coming back to life. It was still night. Shane was sitting against the headboard with the nightstand lamp on.

"Now I am." Ilya groaned, yawning. "What?"

"Are you happy here?"

"Mm. Yes, is very warm. You have a good bed."

"No, I mean, at my cottage."

Shane's voice was a bit strained, a bit nervous. He's been sitting in the dark alone, thinking. Ilya looked up at him.

"Yes."

"It's just…I don't want you to leave disappointed. There's not a lot going on."

"Shane, this is heaven to me." He murmured, slowly lifting himself to sit as well, despite barely seeing anything just yet. "What are you talking about?"

Shane put his hands on his lap, playing with his fingers, looking away to the window.

"I like you a lot."

He looked as if he was scared to admit it.

"I like you, too."

Shane smiled weakly.

"Everyone I meet is so laser-focused on who I am, you know? But you seemed actually interested before you even learned my last name. I don't get that a lot."

Ilya frowned.

Has Shane only dated pretentious assholes who were interested only in his money before?

It was a nice bonus, of course it was, but…Jesus Christ. Ilya was developing an intense crush when all he knew about Shane was that he liked Ginger Ale and didn't know who Jay Z was.

"You met a lot of bad people?" Ilya asked carefully.

Shane stayed silent. Overstressed.

Now, Ilya was finally fully awake.

He shifted to sit closer to him and pressed a kiss against Shane's cheek, forming the chaos of his feelings into words Shane could understand.

"You are so much more than your money, you know that? You are incredible. I thought you would be…uh, not motivated?"

"Discouraged?"

"Yes, discouraged. I thought you would be discouraged by now. After knowing me better." He licked his lips with a speeding heart. "Are you?"

Shane looked at him, almost offended.

"No."

"I know my life can be a lot, but I want you in it. Is that stupid?" He smiled softly at the firm, serious head shake. "I'm not available all the time. I can be very frustrated. I'm not…free in a way people our age are. I've got little time to give you, and I'm not sure if…would that be enough for you?"

Shane nodded slowly.

"You're enough for me."

Here they were, sitting in the middle of the night, trying to convince themselves they're not too much for one another.

Ilya took a shaky breath.

"I want you to be my boyfriend." He stuttered over the words, but said them nonetheless. "Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

Shane stared at him with shiny eyes, and for a second, a thousand answers flashed through Ilya's head.

I can't.

You're damaged goods.

I didn't sign up for someone like you.

You can't expect me to commit to a single parent at twenty-two.

I have big plans. Bigger than you. Responsibilities. You'd just drag me down.

"Yes." Shane said instead, with clear, bright joy visible on his face. "Yes, of course I do."

He kissed Ilya sloppily, making him laugh in relief, nudging their noses together. Ilya kissed him back and felt the heaviest weight lifted from his heart.

"I know you didn't agree on getting involved in a family when we started talking." He sniffed quietly, wiping his eyes. "Sorry, is it too soon to talk about it?"

"No, no, we should talk about it. It's important." Shane put his hand on Ilya's chest, as if to make sure he knew he was honest, like a good-willed kitten, offering a gesture of pure intentions. "You come as a pack. I know that. Everywhere you're invited, Raisa is, too. Well, almost everywhere."

He glanced at the bed, the ruined sheets, and Ilya chuckled.

"Almost."

"We can go slow. Right? I don't want to scare her or you, complicate your life more. I just…I want you. And she's so sweet, and you're amazing with her, and I'd be very happy to just be able to be a small part of it. Is that okay?"

Ilya nodded, closing his burning eyes.

"Is perfect. You are good with her, too."

"Am I good with you?"

For so long, Ilya focused on trying to get Raisa the life she deserved, he almost forgot about himself.

What he wanted. What he needed. How good it felt to be taken care of, for once, not think about logistics, and let someone else make sure everything was alright.

"Very good." He breathed, kissing Shane. "The best."

He dragged Shane on top of himself to prove it yet again.

He fell asleep against Shane's chest, listening to his heartbeat, letting him play with his hair, and trying not to cry from happiness.

He woke up before sunrise. Shane was still sleeping, cutely curled up with his hair all over the place. Ilya left the bed, put on sweatpants, and decided he deserved a moment to himself outside.

He didn't smoke around Raisa, so he had to sneak around on his work breaks, evenings, always in a rush. He hasn't enjoyed a cigarette in a long time, he simply endured on the nicotine. Now, he had time. He had peace. A moment to look at the orange lake and think, sitting on the dock, the morning air chilly, but not unwelcome.

He grabbed his cross in his fingers, speaking quietly in Russian, the closest thing he had to a prayer.

"I met a wonderful man, mama. One of the really good ones." He started, tranquility filling his mind and body every time he could talk to her again. "He treats me so well, and he's good with Raisa, and I'm scared to mess it up. My life's already messy."

With no one but birds and dragonflies as his witnesses, he lowered his head, whispering the truth he still couldn't fully believe in. 

"But he's kind, and smart, and so weird, and I love that. He bought me flowers. He's a terrible cook. He likes me, for some reason, and I don't want to argue with that, I don't want to question it anymore. I feel like a person again." He smiled softly, inhaling the smoke. "You'd love him. I feel like it will be so easy to let myself love him, too, in the future. I can't believe this is happening. I miss you so much. You've been watching over me and Raisa all these years, have you sent him to me? Have you helped me again? Thank you, mama. I'll try to make you proud. Build a life you'd want for me."

He finished the cigarette, wrapping his arms around himself. He glanced over his shoulder when he heard footsteps.

Shane has made him coffee and brought a blanket to wrap around them both as he sat by Ilya's side, sleepy and gorgeous. Ilya took a sip, smiling at him.

"Where have you been all this time?"

"Inside." Shane hummed. "Making you coffee."

"I mean, all my life, Shane."

"Oh." He thought for a moment. "Probably in college."

Ilya laughed, kissed his forehead, and was finally at peace with the universe, watching the sun go up over the lake.

Chapter End Notes

if you saw this fic going between estimated 4 and 5 chapters, no you didn't.
i wrote an epilogue to this, but for some reason, i don't like it much, so here's a quick list of how things go:
-raisa gets to have grandparents ilya could never provide her with and david spoils her rotten
-after a year of dating ilya and raisa move in to shane's big ass fancy apartment (raisa gets her own room yay)
-shane reaches biblical levels of spoiling his new family in every way he can, bc no theres no way his boyfriend tries to fix the fucked up old car for the 100th time, take a good car from the fucking garage and dont mention it
-raisa picks up figure skating (daddy shane pays for them) and goes to a really good private school! (again, daddy shane pays despite ilya trying to fight about it)
-shane gets his second degree and ilya and raisa clap the loudest for him :((( hug him both after :((( shane cries a little
-after two years, shane organises a strategic meeting with raisa when ilya has work and presents her a 25 slide long powerpoint presentation about wanting to propose to her dad and why she should give him the permisson as he is a good candidate (pictures, dates, examples)
-raisa helps shane with the proposal :((( the decorations and everything and begs ilya to drive her to aunt sveta so conveniently when ilya comes back shane's ready on one knee (raisa the five year old plotter)
-ilya gets his mechanic licence and a stable job and plans on going to college in the future and shane just tells him to send over the bill when he decides what to study
-they get married and raisa is the flower girl
-that night ilya asks shane to legally adopt raisa as her second parent (raisa helped him print out the forms for court already) and shane kind of combusts
-just a happy healthy family that came together thanks to grindr and now raisa has a trust fund and ilya hasn't seen a single bill in two years

anyway, thanks to everyone who read and commented i love you all kissing you on the mouth mwuah mwuah mwuah i had so much fun writing this :D

edit, 04/26: good thing i didn't write that epilogue cause now i can write random sequels to this, so go enjoy a sequel! sick ilya x shane asking him to move in <3