Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories:

F/M, M/M

Fandom:

Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov/Svetlana Vetrova, but only sexually - Relationship, Ilya Rozanov & Svetlana Vetrova, Shane Hollander & Rose Landry, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau & Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike & Jackie Pike

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Svetlana Vetrova, Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Rose Landry, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Hayden Pike, Yuna Hollander, David Hollander

Additional Tags:

Crack Treated Seriously, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, i guess, Sex, conversations about sex, silly conversations, apps, Ilya and Svetlana having a lot of fun and being silly, Shane is so into it but has to act like he isn't otherwise he'll combust, Ilya Rozaov is a menace, Hook up era, Sexting, Dirty Talk, PWP, Smutty, sex scenes between ilya and svetlana are described but not in great detail, Explicit Sexual Content, Phone Sex, it's mental illness innit, Rose Landry with the steel chair, Hurt/Comfort, Shane Hollander Has Anxiety, Light Dom/sub, Embedded Images, NSFW Art, Light Feminisation Kink, sports typical racism, mention of sexual assault level hazing, Sports typical homophobia, communication somehow??, when I said i was treating this crack seriously i meant for real serious, Passive Suicidality, Suicidal Ideation, Getting Together, Slow Burn, while not being a slow burn at all at the same time, Disordered Eating, Wank and Tell, Sex Toys, Light BDSM

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-07-16 Completed: 2026-10-08 Words: 259,336 Chapters: 36/36

Jane Rated You

Summary

“What the fuck is this?”

“Ahhh, is where I can see all my ratings and reviews from rides I’ve given,” Ilya said, winked, “rides on my dick.”

Shane blinked at him. “What.”

“Is silly app,” Ilya said, turned the phone back to himself, and then clicked into Svetlana’s latest review - just the preview of it in which it showed she’d given him five stars and a tip, as well as leaving a photo - and then turned the phone back to Shane. “My friend made for me as silly present. Sometimes I share with people I fuck, and they rate me. Is funny.”

This is a silly fic that takes itself seriously. Ilya has a app to rate him in bed, and Shane is mad, horny, and also going to fill out his ride reviews every single time with dedication and focus.

Notes

Hiiiii I was talking with my wife about this fic idea and she convinced me (very easily) that I should write it, so everyone say thank you to my wife.

(edit 31.07.26) Just to say this is definitely a crack-esque fic, but I accidentally dropped some actual plot in as well.

Chapter 1: ILYA

In Ilya’s defence, it had been a joke. 

In fact, it had been very many jokes, and all of them very funny!

He and Svetlana had been dancing all night, drinking all night, and they had originally come out to find hook ups, but they were having too much fun dancing together. It was late - or early - when they finally left the club, holding each other up and giggling as they ordered an Uber. In the Uber they kept reminding each other to be on their best behaviour so they wouldn’t tank Ilya’s rating. He had still been building it back up from that time Marly had thrown up in the backseat. This time neither of them were throwing up because they knew how to hold their drink, thank you very fucking much, and the driver was laughing at them and with them. When he dropped them off, he told them they were a very lovely couple, and that they didn’t need to worry about their rating dropping. 

Svetlana had laughed so much about them being a couple that Ilya had to basically drag her inside, and then she stole his phone to give the driver a five star rating and a $500 tip for making her laugh so much. 

After that they fucked, Ilya on his back to keep the room from spinning too much, and Svetlana riding him because she told him she would prove she had better balance them him even if he was a famous hockey player. 

Afterwards, when they’d wiped themselves off haphazardly, and Sveta had dropped herself down in the sheets next to Ilya, one leg hooked over his but not touching him anywhere else, Ilya made the first, fateful joke. 

“So?” He asked, “Do I get five stars and a big tip as well? For giving you such a good ride and even more than my tip?” 

Svetlana laughed at him, smacked her hand against his chest. “I think only four stars,” she teased him. “For when I slipped off halfway through and you did not even try to catch me.” 

“What! Svetochka! You slipped so quickly! And you were not even hurt. How could I try to catch you when I was laughing so hard at your silly face?” 

“You were the one making a silly face, bitch! How was I supposed to stay on your dick while I was laughing? You were basically making me push you out, it is your fault I fell!” 

And then Ilya had forgotten about the joke, because he was drunk, and it wasn’t important, and the next morning he and Svetlana ate a greasy breakfast together before she had to leave. 

-

It was Svetlana who made the joke next, who took it to the next level. Who remembered the original joke and spent actual money and time on it, and it did make Ilya laugh his head off. 

For his birthday present she had hired an app designer to make Ilya his very own app. She had called it Rozanov Rides, and it was a joke, yes, but it was also fully functional. There was a full rating system, and stars, and an option to tip that when you pressed it just showed you a dick pic. Apparently he could customise it, change the tip pic whenever he wanted. It was well thought out, for what it was. Ilya had to text the invite to someone for them to be able to download the app, so it really was just for him as a joke, and Svetlana had already made sure to share it with herself. 

They fucked specifically for the app, and Svetlana teased him about trying to show off so she would rate him higher, and he flipped them over and rubbed her clit while he fucked her fast and shallow until she squirted, and then only paused for long enough for her to catch her breath before he put his fingers back to her pussy and teased at her clit until she was clenching around him while he came. 

She gave him his five stars, and she ticked excellent  for all of the questions. She also added a photo of the puddle on the bed. He hadn’t realised that photos were an option, and that was very fun. 

“Where do I rate you back?” He asked, once he’d finished laughing at her comment she’d left on his rating, and after he’d changed the tip pic to a new one Svetlana took after he’d taken the condom off. “I do not see the option.” 

“Oh,” Svetlana was already getting in the shower. They were going out to dinner and drinks with friends soon, for his birthday, and she said she needed at least two hours to get ready. “I didn’t ask for that. Anyway, you wouldn’t dare rate me anything but five stars.” 

Ilya pretended to think about it for a second, and she threw her jeans at him while he laughed. “No, no,” he said, tossing her jeans back off the bed. “You are right, Sveta, only five stars. You always make me come when you flood my bed, and then you throw things at me and order me around. Makes me so hard!” 

“You are saying that like it is a joke,” Svetlana said, stepping into his ensuite, fully naked and still shiny and wet between her thighs and dripping down her inner knees. “But I know it is not.” 

-

It stayed a joke. Mostly only between him and Svetlana, because they both thought it was funny to come and then immediately open the app. It gave Ilya a nice little collection of sexy photos as well. Usually something like the photo of the wet bed, but sometimes something like his condom dropped carelessly on the bed, come leaking out of it, or Sveta’s stomach with white smeared over her skin, or once, a photo of himself that she took while she rode him, his face screwed up as he came. She said it was a very funny photo, and he also thought it was a very funny photo, and also that it made him very hard to think about the context of it. 

Sometimes when he fucked a woman he could joke around with, he would tell her about the app, and if she thought it was funny or hot, he would share it. It was always as a joke. He was a funny guy, and, according to his rating, a five out of five fuck. Not that he needed the app to know that, but it was validating to see. 

He never told any guy he hooked up with about it. Mostly because he very rarely hooked up with men, and when he did, the hook ups were rushed and - not serious - but not a time to joke around very much. He also never told any guys he hooked up with about it because, well, it would still be like a joke if the app was discovered, or leaked, or something, when it was all just with women. It would not be like a joke if it showed that Ilya fucked men as well. Better to have no proof of fucking men. Not in an app, not in photos, not in phone numbers. 

Which was why it shouldn’t have been a joke he shared with Shane. 

-

Shane was the one who started the conversation - not that he knew where it would lead. 

He had been in a strange mood for the whole encounter, moving with Ilya, and moaning into his mouth, and obviously enjoying himself, but every moment they weren’t physically touching, Shane’s mouth had been in a weird little flat line. 

Ilya knew it was mostly his fault. Or entirely his fault. He had been the one to ghost him, and then to be cruel to him, and then still expect Shane to want him afterwards. The fact that Shane still had wanted him afterwards didn’t take away Ilya’s cruelty. He felt bad yes, but it was in the past, and what was he supposed to do with it now? Tell Shane why it had happened? Ask for forgiveness? No. It would make things much weirder between them if Ilya let himself be truly open with Shane, and if he did it once he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from doing it again. It was truly a fault of his, how badly he wanted to say everything he was feeling to Shane. 

They were lying in Ilya’s bed, lingering for longer than they usually would after a hook up. It had been a tough game, and when Shane had turned up he had been limping a little. After Ilya had fucked him, he had insisted Shane put his foot up with some ice, because there was no way he was going to let Shane blame him for his stupid sore tendon. 

-

Ilya had wiped Shane down after they had finished fucking, had gone to the ensuite to wet a cloth with warm water, and when he’d come back to the bed Shane had looked like he was about to get up and run. Was eying his underwear up like he was calculating how quickly he could get dressed, and if he could do most of it on one foot. 

So Ilya had walked right up to him and grabbed him by the hips and turned him fully over, dropping him down onto his stomach on the bed. 

“Fuck, Rozanov,” Shane had grunted, huffing as the air was pushed out of him. “What the fuck -?” 

“Is part of the service,” Ilya said, pressing his hand down hard on Shane’s lower back to hold him in place, and also because he knew Shane liked it when he did that. “I fuck you so good you come twice, and then I clean you up.” 

“Jesus,” Shane hissed, arching up under Ilya’s arms but only struggling enough to show he was struggling, and therefore not really wanting to be here, with Ilya slowly swiping the wet cloth between his ass cheeks and over his hole. “You don’t - fuck - I can do this myself, Rozanov.” 

Shane had said this last part while hitching his hips up, tipping his ass so that Ilya had a better angle to work with, so Ilya wasn’t worried about continuing to wipe off lube and sweat, and to simply tease at Shane’s asshole, making him twitch. 

“No, no,” Ilya said, keeping his voice light, “I cannot have you leaving me a bad rating, Hollander! I will be in trouble if I do not keep my five stars.” 

“You’re so fucking annoying,” Shane said, in what he probably thought was an annoyed tone but was actually very whiny, and Ilya liked that a little too much. “No one is giving you five stars for this.” 

“Oh?” Ilya scoffed, smacked Shane’s ass cheek lightly and watched as it jiggled, the pale skin pinking. “You are saying this after I got you off once with my mouth and once with my cock? Five stars for you must be a very high bar. I feel sad for your uber drivers and food delivery people.” 

“I always give five stars on my apps,” Shane gritted out, as if he hadn’t just sucked in a sharp moan of a breath when Ilya had slapped him. “Unless something actually was bad, like, I didn’t get the delivery, or the driver was racist or something.” 

“Mm,” Ilya was finished wiping Shane down now, but Shane wasn’t wriggling in pretend attempts to escape anymore, so he was just enjoying the view, and seeing how long it would take Shane to get hard again if he kept just gently wiping the cloth over his balls. “You would give me five stars, then?” 

“You don’t run the risk of getting fired if you don’t keep up a five star rating,” Shane replied, and then twisted at the waist and smacked Ilya’s hand, “stop trying to get me hard again, jesus, I’m fucking spent. I need to go.” 

“You need ice on your ankle,” Ilya pointed out. He stopped rubbing at Shane’s balls, but kept his hand on Shane’s back. Not that it would really stop him if Shane actually pushed back, but he knew Shane wouldn’t. “Sooner, rather than later. Stay here and I will get you ice pack, and you can put your foot up for short time before going.” 

Shane glared at him suspiciously. “Is this part of your services joke?” 

“No, no,” Ilya shook his head, “although if you want to add a tip to say how thoughtful I am, is always appreciated. I get ice, okay?” 

Shane glared a moment more, but then he conceded, untwisting and dropping his head back down in the blankets. “Okay.” 

So Ilya got the ice, and he put Shane’s foot up on a pillow, and the ice on the foot, and handed Shane his hoodie from the floor because Shane said he felt weird sitting there so naked, and then Shane said he felt weird just wearing a hoodie, and Ilya called him pooh bear, except apparently he had said poopy bear and that wasn’t funny, Rozanov, because Shane always cleaned before coming over, and are you saying it wasn’t and why wouldn’t you tell me, that’s so embarrassing - And then Ilya had laughed and told Shane he was so clean he would drink vodka out of him, but also that he didn’t need to worry so much because he knew what an ass was, Hollander, and Shane had glared at him and folded his arms and turned away. 

And then Shane had said what had really started it; “Your fucking twitter has been pissing me off.” 

“Oh?” Ilya asked, sitting up a little from his sprawl on the other side of the bed to Hollander. “Because I have so many followers and am funny and you are all Mr Business man on there?” 

“No,” Shane said, huffy and stern. “No. Because my team keeps fucking complaining about your tweets, and so I have to keep hearing them in my lockeroom talking shit about how you’re claiming to be a fucking sex god on twitter, or something, and how you probably paid for bots to comment saying it was true.” 

Ilya laughed so hard he almost rolled off the bed. Shane looked like he would kick him off if it wasn’t his sore ankle that was closest to him. 

“Oh my god,” Ilya said, slow and indulgent when he finally caught his breath. Grinned up at Shane’s stony blushing face. “Ahh, you do not like it when I tell truth on twitter?” 

“Right,” Shane said, “your five star rating. Which you just assume you have.” 

“No assumption,” Ilya said, “the statistics speak for themselves.” 

“Sure,” Shane said, mouth very thin. 

“No, see,” Ilya said, doing the stupid thing, and grabbing his phone from his bedside table. He opened the hot pink car shaped app, and held his phone out for Shane to see. “Five stars.” 

Shane glared at his phone for a moment, and then Ilya got to watch as his brow furrowed in confusion instead, and his eyes widened as he took in what he was actually looking at. 

“What the fuck is this?” 

“Ahhh, is where I can see all my ratings and reviews from rides I’ve given,” Ilya said, winked, “rides on my dick.” 

Shane blinked at him. “What.” 

“Is silly app,” Ilya said, turned the phone back to himself, and then clicked into Svetlana’s latest review - just the preview of it in which it showed she’d given him five stars and a tip, as well as leaving a photo - and then turned the phone back to Shane. “My friend made for me as silly present. Sometimes I share with people I fuck, and they rate me. Is funny.” 

Shane looked like he wanted to grab Ilya’s phone and read everything, but Ilya was pretty sure Shane would not appreciate the photo Svetlana had left him of her damp underwear that he had fingered her in. Svetlana would probably actually like Shane Hollander to see the photo, but Ilya refused to facilitate that. 

“You give it to - to people you have sex with,” Shane repeated, slow, “like. Your phone. Or do they download an app?”

“I send them a link to download,” Ilya said, because Shane seemed actually interested in knowing how this worked. “Is private app, cannot be found except through invite.” 

“Do your - do the people leaving, um, reviews, see other people’s reviews?” 

“No,” Ilya had looked at Svetlana’s profile on her phone to be sure. “They only see my star rating, and, see, I told you it was five stars. I am sex god. Truth on twitter.” 

Shane’s mouth was downturned, and he looked like he was fighting an internal battle before he asked, very quickly; “Why’ve you never sent me an invite?” 

“Oh,” Ilya said. Shane was already looking extremely embarrassed, and like he was about to insist that Ilya forget he ever said that, so Ilya got in before Shane could. “I have never given a man an invite,” he said truthfully. “Felt, um, dangerous. Maybe, though, we put you as Jane as your username, and could be okay?” 

“Dangerous how?” Shane asked. “I thought you said it was private?” 

“Yes, of course,” Ilya rolled his eyes. “But is still online, on phones. Always there is chance of being hacked. I am not very worried, but there is chance.” 

“Send me the link,” Shane said, looked very determined suddenly. “Because I think you’ve probably been getting a skewed rating.” 

“What?” Ilya frowned at him, even as he was already navigating to the code sharing button. “Skewered rating?” 

“No, like. You said before you mostly only sleep with someone like once, or twice. So, people with your app are probably trying to get you to sleep with them again, or to call them back at least, so of course they’re going to give you five stars, even if you weren’t actually five stars, so you like them more.” 

Ilya blinked at him. Sent Shane the text. “No,” he said. “My friend Sveta, she bought me app, and she and I fuck a lot. She is always happy to say when I am being dumb.” 

“Okay,” Shane said, his face was suddenly a lot pinker, and his mouth was back to its thin hard line. “So she always rates you five stars, then?” 

Ilya sighed. He navigated back to Sveta’s profile, and then to the breakdown of ratings, and held it up as a peace offering to Shane’s grumpy face. “No. You are correct. She likes to point out when I do not live up to her expectations.” 

Shane’s face was slowly unbuttoning again as he looked at the reviews, it didn’t soften all the way, but it was closer to how Shane should look. “What happened to get the one star rating?” He asked, and then looked immediately like he regretted it. 

“I, uh, I slipped. A lot of lube. It went a little in bum hole, and we were not doing that hole that night, so she was not prepped. Was very mad.” 

“You slipped,” Shane said, flat. 

Ilya raised his eyebrow at him. “I did,” he said. “What? You think I am like awful loud brutes in locker rooms who brag about putting in wrong hole and telling wife it was accident?” 

“No,” Shane said, sighed. “Sorry. Just. Yeah. I’ve heard that before, in locker rooms. Like you said. I know you wouldn’t do that.” 

“Sveta knows too,” Ilya said, “she was mad, but only because it hurt. I ate her out afterwards and she said she forgave me, but still gave me one star because she says I need to learn from my mistakes.” 

Shane looked like he was trying not to smile, and also not to frown. His face was confusing. 

“Should I… backdate?” Shane asked then, “Like. Um. Give reviews for sex we had before the app?” 

Ilya felt like maybe he should be a little worried, but also, flattered? Unless Shane was actually planning on just tanking his rating, which would be sad. “If you want,” he said, shrugged. “Would be hot, I think.” 

Shane didn’t even rise to the bait of Ilya’s waggling eyebrows, looked like he was thinking hard. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll, um, I’ll look at the app later and see what I think.” 

“Mm, so kind of you,” Ilya drawled, “I am so thankful you are taking time out of your life to do this thing for me, only for me, not at all for you.” 

“Shut up,” Shane snorted, “you’re the one with an app for people to tell you how amazing you are in bed.” 

“So you admit I am amazing?” Ilya asked, grinned with much more real joy than he expected. “I will be getting five stars? You will mention in review that I even clean your hole up soooo nice?” 

Shane pulled a face, looked like he was about to deny everything, and then instead said; “would have been nicer if you’d licked me clean.” 

“Fuck, Hollander,” Ilya said, heat in his chest rushing down to his cock. “That can still be on table for tonight if you want.” 

-

Jane has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

First time blowjobs - after CCM shoot. Really hot but only three stars because you pissed me off so much. Also because you acted like it was a favour to me to suck your dick. 

-

Jane has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

First time anal. You made it so I wasn’t stressed at all, even after you’d left, which is a first time again. I learned later most people don’t come hands free. I liked how you kissed me that night, too. 

-

Jane has rated you 

-⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

Vegas awards. Vodka was a shitty reward. 

-

Jane has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

Last night. You lose a star because foreplay should not consist of checking me in to the boards so hard I twist my ankle. Neither should it be you telling my genitals you missed them. Weirdo. Really good orgasms though and I really liked it when you ate me out after putting an ice cube in your mouth. Makes me want to try it next time I give you a blowjob. Also why the fuck is the tip button just a picture of your cock? What if I wanted to say thank you and give you some money, seeing as you’re going to need it with how badly Boston played last night. 

Chapter 2: SHANE

Chapter Notes

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-only 3 stars for your first blowjob from
me?? I was so good you
became obsessed with my cock. So rude. 

-You are always stressed, hm,and my
cock stops this?

-was good vodka. good reward.
even if you do not like. 

-meh for kissing??? that is not
correct. you fumble rating. 

-and no excellent for orgasm?

-jane

-is this real upset?

-is this chirp or was night bad
for you

-i thought you were just
annoyed

-jane

-jane

-text me back

-jane

-was sex bad?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I was on the plane. Stop blowing up my phone.-

A reward should be something I actually like.
I didn’t like the vodka, therefore, not a good
reward.-

The sex was fine. You saw the rating.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-and night in general?

-i saw you read text.

-you know you can have wifi on flight,
yes? 

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I was getting home. Stop freaking out.-

It was fine.-

I didn’t think you’d bring the conversation
out of the app.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-no way for me to reply on app

-only flaw

-kissing was bad in vegas?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

You didn’t kiss me.-

That’s another flaw in the app, there’s no N/A
option.-

Also there should be a way for you to rate
your partners back. It’s not fair you get all
the statistics-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-i did not kiss you?

-that sounds very stupid of me.

-your mouth is so good.

-if you wanted kiss, why did you not say?

-i did not design app, take problems up
with svetlana

-dont, though, both of you in same room
is worst nightmare. 

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I didn’t think I was allowed to.-

Forget about it.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-forget about it does not sound like is small
thing

-jane

-you are on another plane?

-here is rating for you for last night.
⭐⭐⭐⭐ only 4 because you try and
leave before i am finish with you. 

-

Shane couldn’t deny that he had been extremely curious about Ilya Fucking Rozanov’s stupid app, but it had been a dumb idea to actually download it. A dumber idea to use it. What he really wanted when he first saw the app, was to see what other people were saying about Ilya. If they talked about the way he held their jaws while he kissed them, and stroked their skin with his thumb. He wanted to know if he did anal with girls often, and if they liked it as much as Shane did. He wanted to see how he measured up next to them. 

He also wanted to know how he measured up to Ilya. The texted rating was good - it put them at even points, (if they didn’t count the backdated ones,) but it wasn’t as informative as Shane’s rating of Ilya. He didn’t say anything about how Shane kissed, or how Ilya’s orgasms were, and he only pointed out the reason he lost a point, and no reasons for why he earned the others. 

He wanted to point this out to Ilya, except then it would look like he actually cared about this stupid app, and about Ilya’s stupid opinion of him. 

Which he didn’t. 

Because he had a life that didn’t revolve around sex and bragging about sex. 

Whatever. 

He couldn’t tell over text if Ilya was serious about Vegas. If he was actually worried that Shane hadn’t… had a good time, or if he was making fun of Shane for being such a loser about casual sex. Expecting to be kissed and babies and whatever. Shane didn’t expect that. But he did expect to be kissed, and that was Ilya’s fault, because he always kissed Shane. He’d set that expectation. It wasn’t wrong of Shane to feel like something had been missing without it. 

He also couldn’t tell what Ilya meant about having Svetlana and Shane in the same room was his nightmare. Was Svetlana actually his girlfriend? And he was scared about being found out? Did he think Svetlana would tell Shane embarrassing things about him? Or vice versa? Shane only knew embarrassing things about Ilya that were also embarrassing things about him. 

He and Ilya had started texting again after Vegas, more than they had before Russia, and Shane liked it but it also confused him a lot. Most of it was Ilya trying to get Shane to sext him back, or little chirps about a bad shot Shane made. Some of it was just talking, though. It was the talking that was the most confusing, honestly. With the sexting, Shane usually ignored it or turned hin down, or, much more rarely, attempted to sext back. With chirps he would chirp back. Easy. 

Ilya texting him actual questions, and seem to expect real answers? What the fuck. 

The problem was, was that as much as it confused him, and stressed him out, he liked it so much. He would miss it when Ilya got bored with him again and didn’t text back for another six months, or maybe more.

It also meant that he had started actually texting Ilya first more often, with his own questions, and chirps, and thoughts. Like Ilya was a friend. Like it was safe. 

-

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

If we sext, does that count as sex for the app?-

I know it’s called R-RIDES, which implies, like.
Cowboy or something, so not necessarily a
name to take literally, but still.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-Jaaaaane

-are you asking to sext?

-my sweet innocent Jane?

-so horny?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Fuck off. I asked a question.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-i think it can count, yes.

-up to you

-are you thinking of my cock?

-is already hard for you

-you can do rating after, tell me off ;)

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

You’re not as seductive as you think you are-

I’ll put that in my next comment section.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-I have other thoughts for your comment
section for last time

-i left empty, yes? like how you feel now

-Should have told you how hot you feel
inside, as i am opening you with my tongue

-how your moans make me so hard 

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

We’re not sexting, I need to sleep.-

I’m already in bed-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-perfect place to be for quickie yes?

-helps you sleep after, is science

-what are you wearing?

-are there buttons?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

No. Just a t-shirt and shorts.-

It’s really warm tonight.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-maybe too warm for t-shirt?

-sleep easier without it

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Maybe I would.-

I took it off.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-mm, and it feels better? 

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Yes.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-good. you are welcome. sleep well ))

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

>:(-

Fine. You win. Yes. I want to sext.-

Tell me what to do.-

Please.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-so polite now

-i miss your pretty nipples

-give them pinch from me

-take your tit in your hand and squeeze 

like i do, harder. rub your thumb on your

nipple until is hard

-and then stop and do same to other one

-have to keep one hand free to text me ))

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Ok-

Are you touching yourself?-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-yes.

-i am in nothing

-i was running on treadmill before you text

-was going to shower. i am sweaty

-i am stroking slow, thinking about how

you open your mouth so wet to take me

-like you are hungry to death for cock

-put your fingers in your mouth

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Fuck.-

But then I can’t touch myself at all?-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-yes, exactly

-you dont need to touch yourself when you

are sucking on my cock, no?

-you take me in your throat and you get 

so wet, dripping for it. 

-push fingers in deeper, baby, get wet

-love it when you are sloppy. so eager

-trying to swallow me down before you

are ready and your throat choking around

me but still trying to take more.

-slut for it. Yes?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Fuck.-

Yes.-

Please, I need it.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-need what? need me to fuck all in?

-hold your head and push it into you and
hold you on my cock?

-use you?

-want me to pull out only to hold your

mouth open and feed my dick back in?

-keep my fingers hook over your teeth to
keep you open for me?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Yes fuck that -

Please -

Let me touch myself-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-slut for it

-so hot baby

-roll onto belly

-you can grind on mattress, hm?

-i want you to work for it

-are you wet? 

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I am my shorts are sticky-

It’s not enough, i need more -

My fingers arent enough in my mouth i 

want you cock so bad i want to taste-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-ok baby, so good for me

-you can have taste, yes? 

-slip your hand into shorts and taste your

wetness there, pretend is mine.

-i made you make, so is mine really

-suck off your fingers, get all off

-you are so good for me

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I am-
I’m being good for you-

I dont tast e like you-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-mm, is how i taste when i suck you off

-like you are kissing me after

-suckking cum from my mouth

-kotik, so cute and sweet

-you want to touch yourself?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Please-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-mm i do not know if you want enough

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I do I want so much please-

Im your slut i want it so bad-

I need it-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-blyat how are you like this

-go on baby get off for me

-touch yourself fast and hard

-make it hurt a little like we ar ein rush

-you make such pretty breaths, like you

cannot believe is real. so hot. ideal’nyy. 

-fuck jne

-yourmouth is so good

-thinkj about fuckinhg you all ways

-fuck

-jane, baby, tell me how you are

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Sticky. I have to wash up and change.-

It was good. Hot.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-you are good and hot

-and sooooo boring

-you look so sexy with cum in your shorts

-send me your shorts and i will clean them

with my mouth, yummy

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

You’re so gross.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-you like when i am so gross

-it makes you cum like fountain

-you can get good sleep now, still early

hours for good girls xx

-

Jane has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

Sexting. The ‘meh’s are in place of N/A. I am not counting your terrible come ons as foreplay. I like when you talk dirty to me but I don’t find it sexy enough to not feel weird until I’m actually turned on. Unluckily for me it does turn me on, so it stops feeling weird pretty quickly until after I come and then it’s weird again. I like sexting more than jerking off but jerking off by myself doesn’t make me feel like i need to be kissed and touched, so that’s a downside. Also does anyone ever actually attach a photo in that option? That feels like a bad idea.

-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-i thought you were going to sleep, but no,
Jane has to stay up and write report card
-yes people leave photos. you could too 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4 pretty stars for my kotik
you are always so good for me even when
you pretend you are not turned on and
needy for me. missing perfect score only

for not basking in glow with me and for
being so far away so i can not for real fuck

you when you need it.

Chapter End Notes

next chapter will be longer because it won't just be sexting :)
Thank you so much for the lovely response to this so far everyone! xxx

Chapter 3: ILYA

Chapter Notes

I said the next chapter would be longer, and I have now more than doubled the word count lol

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-You’re the one who pointed out that the
app could be hacked, sending photos
seems like it’s just tempting fate.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

maybe I like to tempt fate-

i am very good at tempting -

tempting you-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-I was going to say that tempting me
is less dangerous than tempting fate
but actually tempting me is the
dangerous thing here. For both of us.

-You like risk too much. 

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

you have homegame next thursday, yes?-

and no other plans because you are boring?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-I’m not boring, I’m just focused.
-Yes. Why?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

i am not allowed idol curiousities?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-It’s IDLE and no.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

thank you mr. english teacher i am indebted
to you-

i have photoshoot nearby to montreal in morning.

thought maybe i come over after game -

you win game and i fuck you -

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-And if I lose the game?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

mmmmmm maybe don’t lose game?-

not so hard. i do not lose games-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Asshole. You literally lost your last game.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

no no no, see, that was connors who lost-

he choked on own spit and missed shot-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-He choked on his own spit? Is that like,
a new way to just say he choked?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

?-

no, he choke on his spit in his mouth like a baby
who forgets spit is in mouth and breathes into
lungs and almost dies on ice-

thursday?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Yes, okay. Thursday. I should be home by 8.
-Don’t come before the game, my parents
are coming to mine beforehand for lunch. 

-

His photo shoot on Thursday morning was, perhaps, closer to Boston than it was to Montreal, but he would just not mention that bit to Shane. He doubted he would be asked about it, because Shane tended to be extremely single minded when he was focused on something, and the only thing Ilya had ever seen him more focused on than Ilya’s dick was on the puck. 

He thought idly about texting some nonsense to Shane about coming in earlier, before the game, just to see how panicked and pissed off he would get about it, but opted not to. Mostly because if Shane then lost the game tonight he might blame Ilya for it, which would be a little funny, but also a little boring. And not in the way he liked. 

He wouldn’t even be in Montreal before the game began, would still be on his way in. This whole thing was a terrible plan, honestly. He had two days off training, and he had chosen to spend the entire thing getting to and from Montreal. The entire two days because he had chosen to drive it - for good reason mind. If he drove all the way, Shane was not going to just kick him out immediately after they hooked up, not if he knew Ilya would have to drive back to Boston afterwards. He’d let him stay the night. And then they could hook up more than once, and then again in the morning perhaps. 

Of course, Shane might also just tell him to go book a hotel, and call him an idiot for not planning ahead, or just not even care that he probably shouldn’t do the round trip in one day and right after fucking Shane into his mattress. 

However, if he ignored that that might be an outcome, it was a great idea. 

It wasn’t that he wanted like, to spend time cuddling after they fucked.  Nothing like that, it was just a way to get more bang for his fuck. Shane was his favourite hook up, which was saying a lot, because Svetlana was his best friend and they had been fucking each other for so long they both knew exactly what felt best. It wasn’t fair that Shane was so good to fuck and they didn’t get to fuck every single weekend, at the very least. 

He was never going to tell Svetlana that she ranked below Shane in his hook up hierarchy because then she would probably never fuck him again, and he’d be stuck with all the inferior hook ups and only occasional Shane. 

The other reason he was making this trip, rather than waiting until they played each other next, was because he had a surprise for Shane. A joke surprise. A surprising joke. A gift. Kind of. And he could just gift it from afar, but he wanted to get to be there and see Shane’s face about it. He wanted to tease him and watch him blush. It was very simple. 

-

While it was very sexy and funny to have Shane using Rozanov Rides and actually seeming to take the rating system seriously, it had also managed to tip Ilya’s rating enough that it had dropped from his steady five stars to a four and a half. He hadn’t even known it could do that. It was the fault of that fucking Vegas rating, which did mean, in a not even very roundabout way, that it was all Ilya’s fault. He knew he had been… unkind that night, but he hadn’t thought that Shane had really cared more than been a little pissed off. He did wish they had kissed. He had wanted to so badly, he remembered wanting to, and likely that was exactly why he had not kissed Shane - it would feel too much like giving himself what he wanted. Too needy.

Svetlana had come over the evening after Ilya and Shane sexted, and he’d asked to see if it showed up on her side as well, which meant he had had to explain he had gone down half a star. After she had finished laughing at him about it, she had opened the app, and thankfully it didn’t show up for her. He thought that was a pretty nice move on behalf of the app designer, keeping Ilya looking good for as long as possible by rounding up. He said this to Svetlana, and asked for the designers details, maybe so he could send him a little thank you gift. Svetlana had told him she’d paid him plenty and he definitely didn’t need a thank you gift for doing literally what she had told him to do, but she gave him his details anyway. 

They’d fucked after that, because Svetlana had said to him, so serious and sweet, that she didn’t want him to have to see a half star on his app anymore, and how sad that was. And they had very fucking good sex, maybe not the best sex they had ever had, but it was still very good, it was always very good! Even when they were sloppy drunk and it was perhaps not technically very good, they always had fun. He had her sit on his face while he ate her out until she was grinding against his tongue and chin and nose and he was slick and dripping with her come. And then he’d flipped her over and fucked her so good she hadn’t even finished her first orgasm before she started her second one, and honestly? Ilya thought that deserved a good rating. 

He should have known better, though, to trust it when she was too sweet with him for not good reason. 

She rated him a big fat one star while she pissed afterwards, her giggles loud and echoing from the ensuite into the bedroom. She also uploaded a photo, but it wasn’t even for consolation, it was just her middle finger held in front of her laughing face. Cute, but so rude. 

“What is this for?” He had called to her, coating his voice with despair. “What is this betrayal Svetochka? I work so hard to make you come so good and you hurt me like this?” 

“It is good for your ego!” She’d called back, and then flushed the toilet before speaking again over the sound of running water while she washed her hands. “I said I would get rid of your half star for you, poor baby! Anyway, you cannot blame me, really, I was not the one who halved your star. You have given the app to some one new, a special girl?” 

He hadn’t replied until she came back into the bedroom, eyebrows raised, and jumped onto the bed, bumping her knees into his side. 

“Fuck, Sveta,” he had batted at her, and she’d flumped dramatically on the bed. “Is just a hook up.” 

She’d eyed him from her slump, narrowed her eyes at him. “Just a hook up? Or is it perhaps your Metros girl?” 

“My what?” 

“The girl you fuck whenever you play the Metros,” Svetlana had said, grinning as she rolled over and began stretching out her shoulders. “I notice things, Ilyushka, like when you never post club selfies after games with Metros, and you are never answering my calls after games with Metros, and you are never free for me to come over after games with Metros. She is one of the management? Social media?” 

“I will never tell,” Ilya told her solemnly, “for fear that you will unionise with her and tank my ratings on purpose.” 

-

He arrived in Montreal after the game was finished, but only just. He still would have to wait for Shane to get changed, and do media, and get back here. He had ended up texting before the game, but only to ask if he could park at the apartment, because he wanted to start sowing the seeds in Shane’s brain that Ilya had driven. Shane had said yes, but only if he wasn’t driving an orange car. And then he had sent the garage code, and where he could park. And honestly, if Shane had been really meaning he could not park there if he had his orange car, he would have waited for Ilya to confirm that before he sent the code. And he absolutely would not have then sent through his door code as well, and told Ilya to let himself in if he arrived a little early. 

This was a step of trust so big that Ilya assumed Shane was probably having a panic attack over it, and he resolved to make no mention of it at all so as not to tip the panic scales. Shane would probably change the code again by tomorrow, so, not that big of a deal.

He did stop and buy a car cover before he arrived at the apartment, though, and made sure to cover the beautiful orange entirely in the boring black cover before he made his way up the stairs to Shane’s apartment. He was so good he ought to be given a prize. International recognition for his hook up etiquette and his nice manners for Shane’s sensibilities. 

He had only been here the once before, when he had fucked Shane for the first time and then spent six months freaking out about it. It had been very uncasual of him, which he could admit to himself, but it hadn’t been his fault that Shane had been so beautiful and sweet to him. Had kissed him so gently on the forehead and looked at him with what felt like real affection. What was he supposed to do? Because it had felt like he was supposed to get down on his knees in front of Shane and beg him to please keep him, and wrap himself around Shane’s body and never leave. Which he couldn’t do, obviously. 

The apartment still looked mostly the same. Same bland art, same furniture. A couple of new books. The area was clean and tidy and smelled nice. So boring. He had a glass of water, and then found a beer in the back of the fridge, and took it to the bedroom. 

The bedroom was boring as well, but less boring than the rest of the house. Partly because even thinking about the bedroom made Ilya a little hard, recalling the way Shane had felt and sounded. Mostly because this would be the place Shane would keep his personality, the one he hid away from the world so soundly that he didn’t even let it loose in the main areas of his own house. 

There was a battered looking journal in the bedside table drawer. Ilya was tempted, he was only human after all, even if he was a god on ice and in the sheets, but he wasn’t cruel like that. He was much more interested in the black drawstring bag in the back of the drawer, anyway, the one that had the medium sized purple dildo. It was much smaller than Ilya’s penis, but he had to admit it was a more interesting colour. He thought it was likely too narrow for Shane’s preferences, wondered if he fucked himself with it and his fingers at the same time. Wondered if he would like to take it and Ilya’s fingers at the same time. Or maybe it and Ilya’s dick. If Shane let him stay the night, maybe they would have time to stretch him open nice and slow for it. He put it carefully on top of the bedside table for later, alongside the lube and condoms that had been in the same drawstring bag. 

He couldn’t imagine living his life so scared of being seen that he hid his own lube in a bag in a drawer in his bedroom. He was pretty sure he had a bottle of lube on his bathroom counter, and another one on his bedside table, and another one with the remotes in the lounge, just in case. 

He wondered if anyone else knew about Shane’s shame dildo. If anyone had known it existed, like Ilya had, and if anyone had seen it in person, like Ilya also, now had. Probably not. Shane didn’t really strike him as the type to talk to his friends about sex. Not the friends Ilya knew about, anyway. He thought that maybe Shane would talk with him about sex. Like they were kind of doing on the app and via texting. That maybe Shane would even want to talk with him about sex. 

He considered snooping further - going through dresser drawers, and the wardrobe. Opening bathroom cupboards, looking under the bed. Looking for more of Shane. But he found himself lying down on Shane’s bed, face pressed into pillows that smelled like Shane’s hair, oddly maudlin. 

Caught in this weird feeling of wanting something, wanting it so badly and not knowing what it was he wanted. He knew it wasn’t just the anticipation of sex with Shane, because he knew that feeling as well as he knew TD Garden’s rink. 

He drank his beer and waited. 

-

“I can’t fucking believe you drove your orange car in here,” Shane yelled, announcing his arrival home verbally after the door had shut with a sharp click. “There is something wrong with the risk making decision part of your brain.” 

“We know this already,” Ilya called back, lying lazy on the bed, one arm thrown over his face, the other gripping the beer bottle between two fingers, dangling it over the bed. “Yours too. We both play hockey, Hollander.” 

“I play careful hockey,” Shane retorted, his voice coming closer, not close enough. The sound of the fridge snicking open and then closed again. “You want a drink?” 

“Got a beer,” Ilya said, “is shitty beer. You drink this piss?” 

“Of course you do,” he heard Shane snort a little, “no. One of the guys left it here after we had a get together. I don’t like beer much.” 

“Of course you don’t,” Ilya mumbled in echo, trying to match the way he’d heard Shane say the words. “How did you know I brought my beautiful orange queen?” 

“Uh,” Shane was suddenly in his bedroom doorway, Ilya could just see him under the bridge of his arm over his face. “Because there was a car parked where I told you you could park, and it had a cover on it, and I checked under the cover because I know you’re an asshole.” 

“I was so polite with cover!” Ilya defended himself, moving his arm from his face, and lifting his beer to take a swig of the last dregs. Shane had two bottles of water pinched in one hand, a can of his boring ginger ale in the other. “Hiding how pretty she is from all your boring neighbours.” 

“Okay,” Shane’s eyebrows were raised. “Thank you for your vague adherence, I guess?” 

Shane was unabashedly looking at Ilya, and Ilya made himself not preen visibly under the heavy gaze. He had stripped down to his boxer briefs earlier, though, and it was like Shane’s eyes were a physical touch because Ilya’s cock jerked as they brushed over it, and he watched as Shane’s eyes widened in response. 

“You are going to stand in doorway all night?” Ilya asked, ignoring the way he was continuing to steadily harden under Shane’s now focused eyes. “You won game, I thought maybe you would collect prize?” 

Shane pulled his chin up and met Ilya’s eyes with what looked like true effort, and he shook his head once as if needing to clear it, before striding further into the room. He was still in his walk out suit, though he’d loosened the buttons of his shirt, and the jacket was already folded over one arm. He put the drinks down on his sidetable first, pausing as he noticed the dildo waiting there. He shot Ilya a look, but said nothing as he turned away to his wardrobe and began putting his suit away, hanging his jacket first. He kept his back to Ilya as he started on his shirt buttons. 

“Hollander,” Ilya said, not at all in a whining way because he did not do this. “You are depriving me of show? Let me see.”

Shane glanced at him over his shoulder, and Ilya could see his eyes were dark, cheeks flushed, but he didn’t turn around. Only looked at Ilya and his hard cock on Shane’s bed, and then looked back to his own fingers on his buttons. 

“Shows are only for winners,” he said, his voice a little reedy, like he hadn’t known exactly what he was going to say before he said it. 

Ilya bit out a laugh of disbelief, crawled up onto his knees. He put his basically empty beer bottle next to the other drinks, and got off the bed so he could crowd up against Shane’s back. It was criminal that they had been alone in the same place together for this long already without touching. He kissed the back of Shane’s neck and heard Shane’s breath stutter. From here he could look over Shane’s shoulder, see his hands on the buttons, the exposed skin. 

“Is not fair,” Ilya said, kissed Shane’s neck again, just under his ear. “I had no game, no chance for me to win.” 

“You lost your last game,” Shane said, “it’s a team sport, Rozanov, just because you blamed Connors doesn’t mean you didn’t still lose.” 

“Ugh,” Ilya groaned, gripped Shane’s hips to help press himself harder against him, grinding his erection into Shane’s ass, the fabric tight enough over it that the movement barely pushed the trousers into his crack like Ilya had been hoping for. Shane did press his ass back though, so at least one of Ilya’s hopes had been founded. “No, you are being dirty bad sport, Hollander, and I will write in to sports news with this. Say you are making up rules that give you win over me for not good reason.” 

“You’re impossible,” Shane bit back, his head had tipped sideways, exposing more of his neck to Ilya’s mouth, and his breathing was already hitching with every press of Ilya’s lips to his skin, and grind against Shane’s ass. “Fuck, Rozanov. I need - fuck I need to shower first -”

“Taste nice,” Ilya said mindlessly, lathing his tongue along the hinge of Shane’s jaw. “Sweat and soap. You have already showered, no need for cleaner. I like.” 

“Not if you want to fuck me,” Shane said, the skin under Ilya’s mouth heating up as he flushed magnificently. “Fuck - let me get out of my suit before you make me get it dirty, jesus!” 

Ilya’s stomach was a hot knot of lustful anticipation, and he forced himself to release Shane’s hips, to take a step back. Squinted at Shane’s ass, and then winced. “Maybe too late,” he said, flopping himself back down on the bed, legs spread wide as he palmed himself over his briefs. “I was, ah, hungry for your ass. Maybe drooled.” 

“What?” Shane asked, his head swiveling to look first at Ilya, and then his spine twisting as he tried to look at his trousers. He couldn’t see the damage from here, and he swore at Ilya as he untwisted himself and began taking the trousers off. “You are so - fuck - I’m too turned on to be mad, but I’m kind of mad.” 

“Is a compliment," Ilya said breezily, feeling his cock kick in his hand when Shane’s ass was finally revealed, even still in his tight black briefs it was killing Ilya. “Ass so hot you make me leak like you leak. Mm, maybe not like you leak. You get wet like girl, so sexy.” 

“Fuck you,” Shane said, held his trousers up so he could see the white marks in the lower back of the trouser’s crotch seam. “Fuck. These need to be dry cleaned, Rozanov. Someone is going to fucking see this -” 

Ilya waved his hand in dismissal, wanted Shane to hurry up his quick little burst of shame so they could get to the part where Shane let himself have what he wanted. “Will be fine,” he said. “How will they know is come? They will not test, will just wash.” 

Shane groaned again, but then threw the trousers in the direction of a hamper inside the wardrobe, before beginning his undressing again in earnest. He tore his shirt off, hesitated with his arm up like he was about to throw it as well, and then hung it up. He peeled his socks off before his underwear, and then put them inside the hamper before turning to look at Ilya again. He was hard, flushed from his ears to his chest, and glaring. 

“I’m going to shower,” he said. “Don’t… just don’t.” 

“Hollander,” Ilya drawled, grinned up at him. “Don’t be mad. Come gimme kiss first. I promise I will be so nice and good for you, yes? I will sit here and wait and touch myself thinking about how I will be touching you soon.” 

Shane’s face twitched, and then he was between Ilya’s legs and bending down to bite at his mouth, kissing hard and furious for a few glorious moments before pulling away and rounding the bed like he was being chased. 

“Don’t fucking come before you can fuck me,” he said, still glaring, “I will be so fucking mad, Rozanov, I swear.” 

“Go get spic and spanned for me!” Ilya replied, dropping himself backwards on the bed so he could watch upside down with his head tipped back as Shane rushed into his bathroom and slammed the door. 

God he liked pissing Shane off. He loved the way it made him drop so many fake layers and just be Shane. Loved to see the quick bite of hurt be then washed away with annoyance and then in quick succession, lust. It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt Shane, not really. Not in a - a lasting way. There was just something about getting to prick him enough to see him bleed and then to be the one soothing him. And Shane seemed to like it as well, always had. They both enjoyed the chase of it. Like in hockey, throwing each other up against the boards, doing real damage to each other in pursuit of the puck and the win. Every bruise was always worth it, and the adrenaline that came with the pain was so good, energizing and fun. He would be fucking devastated if he gave Shane a real injury in game, though. It was a knife’s edge they both walked, here in bed and on ice (literally on ice). 

-

He amused himself fucking around on his phone until Shane finished in the shower - because if he did keep touching himself thinking about Shane he would actually come. And he was pretty sure he would be able to get hard again soon enough, but he had promised to fuck Shane for winning, and if somehow he did not get hard again (so unlikely, but he could not take the risk), he would be made into a liar. 

When Shane finally opened the bathroom door again, letting out a puff of hot air and steam, and still toweling his hair off, Ilya threw his phone away and didn’t even care when he heard it bounce off the bed and land on the floor. 

“I want to eat you,” he said, because fuck did Shane look good. All the juicy curves and muscles of him. His tits and his ass and his thighs and his cock. Ilya wanted them all in his mouth right the fuck now. “Get here, Hollander.” 

Shane paused in the bathroom doorway for a moment more, finishing the crunching movement he was doing to his hair, and then half turned to toss the towel into the bedroom, and was on the bed in the next moment, his skin basically emitting heat like he’d had the shower on as hot as he could take it, the flush on his skin everywhere rather than just his blush pattern. 

He kissed Ilya messily, and then climbed into his lap and kissed him with more precision, his hands lifting to grasp Ilya’s face. He was already making little huffed needy noises into Ilya’s mouth as Ilya kissed him back, fucking his tongue into Shane’s mouth until Shane was just taking it, his own tongue half out of his mouth and his body slack in Ilya’s arms. Except for the tight impatient ruts of his hips as he ground down against Ilya’s cock. His erection had flagged a little while Shane was in the bathroom, but now with Shane hot and damp and so needy on him, he was hard again so fast he was almost surprised. 

“My parents wouldn’t fucking leave,” Shane moaned, when Ilya moved from Shane’s mouth to his neck again, loving the way it made Shane shudder against him. “I wanted to - to be ready already when I got home, but they wouldn’t go before the game and I couldn’t like - ugh fuck, fuck - couldn’t tell them to fuck off so I could go like, douche -” 

“Would have been funny way to come out to them,” Ilya offered, biting down Shane’s chest, his hands gripping around Shane’s waist to hold him where he wanted him. “I am getting ready for being fucked up ass, enjoy game, bye!” 

“Don’t even joke,” Shane groaned, but he laughed as well, and then moaned loudly when Ilya put his mouth to his left nipple and sucked hard. “Also fuck you for going through my stuff.” 

Ilya grinned around his mouthful of tit, bit at Shane’s nipple, and then ducked to the other one and licked it, flat tongued, before holding it between his teeth and sucking on it as well. Shane made a noise closer to a whimper than anything, and one of his hands tangled in Ilya’s hair, the other moving oddly behind himself. 

Ilya pulled back from Shane’s chest, grabbed for Shane’s wrist. “I want to,” he said, pulling Shane’s hand away from his ass. “Let me open you up, I love to see it.” 

Shane made a face, some twist of shame and want, like he hated how much he liked Ilya looking. But he let Ilya move him, wrapping his arms around Shane’s back and moving them until he could lie Shane down in front of him, his lap still basically in Ilya’s, ass pressed to Ilya’s damp briefs. Fuck he needed to take them off. But there was something hot about denying them both from it. He knew how much Shane liked his cock, knew how much Shane wanted him to take his underwear off so Shane could feel it against him. 

He twisted sideways so he could grab the lube and condoms, and after a moment of hesitation he grabbed the dildo as well, dropping it down on the bed beside Shane’s hip. 

Shane propped one of his calves over Ilya’s shoulder - heavy and hot - and bent his other leg sideways, pressing his foot in against the side of Ilya’s hip, and glared up at him. 

“I did not tell you my door code so you could find my…toy.” 

“Dildo,” Ilya said happily, smiled down at Shane’s ass, at his damp pink hole. He pressed the pad of his thumb to it, felt the coil of muscle, couldn’t tell if it was his own pulse or Shane’s he could feel. “So sorry for finding it in easiest most obvious place. I have been wanting to meet him, though, see who you are putting up with without me. He is a little small, no?” 

“Fuck you,” Shane said, pushing against Ilya’s thumb as he spoke. “It is fine.” 

“Mmm, no,” Ilya said, drizzled a little lube directly onto his thumb and Shane’s taint, and enjoyed the small flinch Shane made in response to the cold. “He is too small for you, you must be so sad every time. Wanting more. Desperate for a real fucking. Yes?” 

He always loved to watch the direct contradiction between Shane’s face and his cock. The way Shane was already dripping with pre-come even as he glared down at Ilya. 

“What I do when you’re not here is none of your business, actually,” Shane said tersely, and then exhaled hard when Ilya slid his thumb into him, knuckles pressing to his taint. “Fuuuuck.” 

“I am just being good friend,” Ilya said innocently, pressing his thumb in firmly against Shane’s inner muscles, rubbing at them like he was trying to meet his own knuckles again. “Concerned for my poor, poor Shane Hollander who is having such sad and bad sex when I am not here to help.” 

“Fuck you,” Shane said again, because he was boring like that, and also maybe because he was already panting with just Ilya’s thumb in him, like maybe Ilya could get him off with just that. Possibly Ilya was wrong, and the dildo was enough for him. “I - I can get myself off without you here.” 

Ilya paused, pulled his thumb out, re-lubed, and then pressed two fingers in instead, slow only for a moment to be sure Shane wouldn’t tense against it, and then faster, wanting him open yesterday, because - “I never said you couldn’t, Hollander,” he said. “Now I am curious. How often do you touch yourself without me?” 

Shane didn’t reply for a long moment, his mouth slightly open, his eyes closed, like he was focusing on Ilya’s fingers, memorising them. 

“Hollander,” Ilya prompted, bent down and bit Shane’s inner thigh, quirked his fingers up inside him until Shane was squirming and panting. “How often?” 

“Not often,” Shane gasped out, “fuck. More. I need more -” 

“How often is not often?” Ilya bit his thigh again in the same place, a little harder. He wanted to chew on Shane, suck his thigh into his mouth and suck and leave marks. “Once a day? Once a week?” 

“Maybe a couple of times a month,” Shane said, his hand was in Ilya’s hair again, and he was gripping tightly, trying to fuck himself down harder on Ilya’s hand even as Ilya pressed his free arm across Shane’s hips to hold him down. “More, Rozanov, fuck -” 

Ilya could not imagine going more than three days without jerking off. It made sense how needy Shane always was for it, then, but not why he wouldn’t just get off more if he was so needy for it. 

“You want more?” Ilya asked, smiling as Shane nodded mindlessly. “My fingers are not enough? Not big enough for you?” 

“No,” Shane whined, “c’mon, fuck, Roz, I need - I need more.” 

“I give you more,” Ilya promised. Felt like he was going to combust with how turned on he was. He pulled his fingers out from Shane, kissed the inner curve of Shane’s knee where it was pressed against his face, sweaty already, salty and delicious. He grabbed Shane’s dildo, slicking it with the lube quickly, and notched the head of it against Shane for a moment of warning before he pushed it inside. “Here you go, malysh.” 

It was much smaller than Ilya, enough so that he could push it right to it’s flared suction base in one easy movement, and Shane choked on a moan, his hand in Ilya’s hair so tight it was real, sharp pain for a second, lighting Ilya up all over with goosebumps and making his cock pulse hard against his damp underwear. 

“Fuck!” Shane said, his voice weird, like he was turned on but confused. “No - not - fuck - I need more than - you said you’d fuck me - Rozanov -” 

Ilya was already moving the dildo in and out, setting a steady rhythm and ignoring the way Shane kept trying to grind it deeper into him. 

“Hm?” He raised his eyebrows at Shane, smiled at him. “I am fucking you, Hollander. You do not feel it? Hm?” He thrust a little harder and grinned when Shane’s mouth hung open for a ragged gasp. “What is problem?” 

“You asshole,” Shane whined, eyes screwed closed, “fuck you - fuck - fuck it’s not enough.” 

“What is that?” Ilya asked, bent down over Shane’s body, kissed at the divots of muscle and rib. “What is not enough?” 

Shane groaned, a mix of pleasure and true annoyance. “The dildo,” he said, swore again. “I need you, Rozanov, I want you to fuck me with your big fucking cock. I need it in me. Hurry the fuck up!” 

 Ilya thrust the dildo in to the base again, pressing his palm against it to grind it just that little bit deeper, and then shifted so he could pull his cock out of his underwear. He wiped his hands on Shane’s duvet cover, because he figured Shane would be more pissy about Ilya not being able to open the condoms than about changing the cover, and slid a condom on, pumping himself unnecessarily. 

Shane had folded his arms over his face while Ilya did this, panting shallowly, his stomach muscles contracting in sharp little jerks, and Ilya could tell he was squeezing around the dildo like he couldn’t help but try for more friction. For a moment Ilya considered trying to push in with the dildo still in Shane, but that would require more time, and more speaking, and now Ilya’s dick knew it was finally getting to fuck it was overwhelming Ilya’s entire brain. 

He ran his hand up Shane’s inner thigh, kissed where he’d just touched, and then folded himself over so he could push through Shane’s arm barricade and kiss him. 

“I fuck you now,” he said, bit at Shane’s lower lip and tugged back before releasing it. “For real, with proper cock. You want?” 

“Yes,” Shane groaned, “obviously.” 

“Ask nicely,” Ilya said, knowing full well he was playing with fire, because he felt like he would die if he didn’t get to be inside Shane in the next ten seconds. “Or maybe we leave in your little friend?” 

“Fuck,” Shane growled. “Please, please, Rozanov, please, I need you cock, I want it. Please fuck me -” 

He tugged the dildo out, tried to be gentle with it, but he was also in a rush. Shane didn’t make any complaints, just grunted, and then groaned when Ilya finally pushed inside him. Groaned again when Ilya moved slow, pushing the head of his cock in and pausing. It was partly to piss Shane off, but mostly because it felt too good, and Ilya wanted to be able to actually fuck Shane before coming. It would be embarrassing to come right as he’d gotten inside. 

Shane rocked against him, “I can take it,” he said, “I want to take it. Give it to me. Please -” 

Ilya gave it to him. Ground forwards in one dirty movement, driving his hips forward like his leash had snapped, pushing forwards until Shane’s ass was pressed sweaty and sticky against Ilya’s skin, and Shane was shaking around him, moaning low and breathless. 

“Okay?” Ilya asked, held still deep inside Shane, pressed a kiss to his quivering stomach. 

“Yes,” Shane breathed, “so good. Move.” 

He fucked Shane, sitting upright and gripping to Shane’s leg still hooked over his shoulder, using it to drag them closer and closer. His other hand spread out over Shane’s hip, fingers digging in and gripping painful looking over muscle and bone. Watched the way Shane took him, like it was easy, his hips tipping to meet each thrust, fucking perfect. 

“Ideal’nyy,” Ilya breathed, rough, “Blyat, so good, Hollander, fuck you are taking me so good, look at you -” 

Shane wasn’t replying with words, seemed passed it, was only moaning and moving with him, nodding every time they made eye contact, Ilya seeking him out, wanting his gaze like he wanted to be fucking him. Like a need, like a lust, like if he didn’t he would have blue balls and a blue heart forever, or some fucking stupid thing like that. 

“You will come for me like this, mm?” He asked, when his hips began to twinge just a tiny bit. A warning that he could keep going, but he would deal with sore hips tomorrow to pay him back for not stretching or warming up. He had been close for so long he didn’t think he would be able to go longer anyway. “On my cock, such a slut for my big cock you need nothing else. Just me inside you, stretching you, fucking you open like you are just a hole for me -” 

Shane came with a cry that sounded like it had been pulled from deep in his guts, his legs shaking so hard around Ilya that it made his jaw rattle and his skin vibrate. Shane was clenching so hard around him that Ilya was coming without even realising for a half breath, and then he was groaning as well, gripping tight to Shane as he tried to keep fucking them both through it, his movements becoming loose and slow as Shane began letting out sharp little noises with each breath he took. 

Ilya took a moment to just breathe before pulling out, and then, because there was probably something wrong with him, he pushed the dildo back in. 

“Oh fuck,” Shane moaned, tears glittering in his eyes, “fuck - I’m not - I can’t -” 

“Just so you are not empty,” Ilya said, kissed at his still shaking knee, thigh, stomach. “You are such good boy for me, would be cruel to leave you open and aching. Nothing to hold.” 

“You’re an asshole,” Shane said, sounding very much like he meant it and didn’t care it was true. “It’s too much.” 

Ilya paused, his hand already moved to grip the base of the toy. “Should I take out?” He asked. Waited, watched Shane’s face shift through it’s usual haze of confusion over his own desires, and then he shook his head. Ilya relaxed, let go of the base and pressed his palm against it instead, pushed it gently to listen to Shane moan. “Good boy,” he said again. 

He got off the bed, careful not to move Shane too much, mindful of how each rock of the mattress was pressing up against him inside. The bathroom was still a little steamy, despite the fan, and the water ran hot immediately when he ran it to wet the flannel. He wiped himself off first, and then rinsed and wet the flannel again. He grabbed Shane’s bath towel as well as he came back into the bedroom. He wiped the flannel down Shane’s stomach, cleaning up his mess from his skin, and then folded the cloth to keep the spunk in one place before dragging the cloth down over Shane’s dick and balls, wiped it carefully over his taint. 

“I take out now?” He asked, tapped the base of the dildo. Shane had put his arms over his face again, like he needed to be hidden for this part even though Ilya had literally been inside of him. “Or do you need more time with him?” 

“Take it out,” Shane said, voice small. 

Ilya took it out, careful to be gentler than he had last time, dabbed the cloth around Shane’s rim, and then pressed the warm cloth to the hole even when Shane twitched about it. 

“Is nice, no?” 

“It’s weird,” Shane said, “but yeah. I guess.” 

“Would not want your pretty hole to be too sore to go again before I have to leave,” Ilya said. Rubbed his thumb gently over Shane’s taint while he kept pressure on the flannel. 

“Fuck off,” Shane grumbled. “When do you have to leave? You drove all the way here?” 

“Yes,” Ilya said, grinned down at Shane because Shane couldn’t see him. “I was thinking maybe I drive back tonight. Or maybe I-” 

“You can’t drive back tonight,” Shane cut in, moving his arms away from his face specifically to glare up at Ilya. “What the fuck - you drove all the way here today, did a shoot, fucked me, and you think you’re up for a five hour drive back? No.” 

“Well,” Ilya began, “I would probably make quicker time than that, I am very fast driver -” 

“Stay the night,” Shane said, “we can fuck again. Maybe twice. And you can leave in the morning and not fucking crash and die on the way back to Boston.” 

“Aw, Hollander,” Ilya teased, “you care about me!” 

“Fuck off,” Shane bit back. “You’re the one holding a flannel to my fucking butthole.” 

“I care very much for your butthole,” Ilya agreed, pulled the flannel away now, “I think is so pretty, so lovely for me. Takes me so well. Deserves a kiss, I think.” 

“Rozanov.” 

“Mm, yes, I should give many kisses,” Ilya said, nodding to himself. 

He threw the flannel off the side of the bed towards where he’d left the towel. He had meant to bring the towel to the bed for something to wipe his hands on, but whatever. He grabbed Shane by the hips, and Shane obviously did not actually disagree with his proposed course of action, because he assisted Ilya in moving them into a better position for Ilya to get down on his stomach and press his mouth to Shane’s hole. 

“Fuck,” Shane groaned, Ilya licking into him like it was Shane’s mouth. “Fuck - I can’t believe - oh god - yeah, like that -” 

He loved how bad Shane was at speaking when Ilya got his tongue in him. Got any part of himself into Shane, truthfully. Like he just switched off something in Shane’s brain. It made Ilya feel better about the fact that he also lost the ability to be coherent when he was inside Shane. Always found himself spilling out words and sentences that should always be kept locked behind his teeth. Could never help himself from murmuring praise into Shane’s skin like he’d die if he didn’t get to call him beautiful and gorgeous and his. 

-

After Ilya ate him out enough for Shane to get hard again, he sucked him off. Then crawled up Shane’s body and kissed Shane’s come back into his mouth, Shane licking it off his tongue like it was the only thing he wanted. Then Shane was the one manhandling Ilya, flipping them over and bitting his way down Ilya’s body before getting to his cock and swallowing him down - one more thing Shane wanted, Ilya’s cock. He came down Shane’s throat far too quickly for how recently he had only just come.

Shane insisted they drink the waters, then, and Shane even cracked his ginger ale as well, drank half of it in one go. They wiped each other down in the bathroom, rinsing the flannel out in warm water every few moments, and then making out against the bathroom counter. 

Shane had a spare toothbrush in his bathroom cupboard, as well as a overnight retainer, which he did not put in, even though Ilya pouted about how he should. For his dental hygiene. Obviously. They brushed their teeth, hip to hip, and then went back into the bedroom where Shane gave him some shorts and Ilya turned down a shirt, and they got dressed. Shane made a face about the duvet cover because now it was really messy, a slick wet patch where they’d spilled the lube. They took the cover off, tossed it in the laundry, and then didn’t bother with putting a new one on, Shane just pulling the sheet up to tuck over the top of it so he wouldn’t have to touch it, apparently. 

And then they got into bed with each other. Kissed more, but without much intent behind it except that kissing felt good. Shane turned out the light after plugging his phone in and setting his alarm. He’d gotten a charger out for Ilya as well when Ilya had rescued his phone from the floor, pleased to discover only one new crack on the screen protector. 

“I’ve got tape tomorrow morning,” Shane whispered, when the light had been turned off. Ilya was still mouthing at his neck, sleepy but still wanting his mouth on Shane. “It’s at nine, but I have to be there about half an hour before to go over some things with coach.” 

“No sleep ins for the wicked,” Ilya mumbled, sucked Shane’s earlobe into his mouth. 

“Rozanov,” Shane complained, didn’t pull away from Ilya’s mouth, though his hand did move from Ilya’s nape to his curls to grip tightly. “I’m just saying. I have to be up early to do my routine before I leave.” 

“Yes, yes,” Ilya sighed, releasing Shane’s ear. He leaned in and kissed Shane’s cheek. “I will be out of your hairs so early.” 

“I can make you breakfast,” Shane offered, quiet. “Before you go?” 

“No,” Ilya kissed his cheek again. “I am wanting big greasy breakfast and huge sweet coffee, and I know these things do not exist in your life.”

“We’re professional athletes,” Shane said, a little grumpy sounding. “You should eat like one.” 

“Is day off,” Ilya said, “I like days off as well as days on. Sleep, then, Hollander, mr busy bee.” 

“Shut up,” Shane said, turned his head to kiss Ilya again, “goodnight.” 

-

Shane woke Ilya up far too early the next morning - barely half past five - but then made up for the early hour with a blowjob, and then lay in Ilya’s arms and kissed him while Ilya jerked him off, taking barely any time to come, like giving the blowjob had gotten him most of the way there. 

Ilya showered quickly, dressed, and left while it was still dark outside. Was already an hour into his drive, and full with a breakfast burrito, when he remembered he’d forgotten to give Shane his surprise. Fuck! So stupid. He pulled over, considered how pathetic it would be to drive back just for this, and texted the link to Shane instead. Kept driving. 

-

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane
DOWNLOAD LINK -> update for RRides app :) -

had designer add specially for you-

i will send my review when you’ve updated-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-You get the app updated?
-What does the update add?

-How are you at 4 stars? Who did you fuck
so bad to get that?
-Don’t actually reply to that.

-I don’t see any changes in the app now?
I updated it. Whatever. Tell me later.

-

Jane has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

Don’t let this go to your head. I really like when you’re a little mean to me. I like it even more when you’re nice to me afterwards as well. I like it when you say I’m good. You fucking me with dildo was really hot. I kind of wanted you to fuck me with it and your cock at the same time. I keep thinking about how you put it back in me afterwards and how it would feel if you put something as big as you in afterwards instead. We need to put a towel or something down next time. I almost marked you down just for the mess, but that wouldn’t be fair because I like the mess in the moment. 

PHOTO ATTACHMENT

(Photo of crumpled duvet cover in washing basket, there is a still wet patch on the fabric catching the light)

-

You have rated Jane 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

This is what the update does ;) I know you love to keep track of our stats, now app can do for you. You are so good for me, perfect slut on my cock. I want to keep you full with me. So fun when you act all huffy even when you are dripping with wanting me.

Chapter 4: SHANE

Chapter Notes

:))))))))))))

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
Our stats won’t reflect our actual skills because
you have a headstart, and you’ve only added
our last sexual encounter and, which would put
my records behind even if I hadn’t backdated a
few other ‘rides’.-

Also I was thinking we shouldn’t read each
other’s reviews until we’ve posted our own
so we don’t accidentally skew the date.-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-i feel like i should be looking into camera

-hello??? are you all seeing this???

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
What?-

Don’t piss me off.-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-YOU dont piss me off!

-whatever i find it hot for some reason

-piss me

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
:/-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-OFF. PISS ME OFF

-i eill backdate our sex with all 1stars

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
[JANE IS TYPING]

[JANE IS TYPING]

[JANE IS TYPING]

[JANE IS TYPING]

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________
-you are working on novel?

-so easy to wind up

-do not worry i will take stars very serious ;)

-

Lily has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

your first ever blowjob ;))))) you were not very talented yet but you were so hungry and horny it was very very good. only foreplay i ever need is you being mad and horny and getting on your knees so quick i think maybe you fall over. jerked off to memory of you sucking me for months. 

-

Lily has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

finally got that hole <3 best fuck i ever had until next time i fucked you. wanted to stay over and fuck you again and again but then team would be sad without me. could only get off thinking of you around me. 

-

Lily has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

Vodka was shitty reward. i am sorry. you were so good and beautiful and i was very mean to you. you deserved to be kissed and given nice boring drinks.  

-

Lily has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

i personally do find it hot foreplay to knock and be knocked into boards :)))))))))) i love noisies you make when i hve my tongue in you thinkingdsdbout it now fuck is so hot 

-

Lily has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

my kotik who likes stats so much i am sorry to forget to get update to add your n/a option. 

it was big turn on to have you want to sext, even when you pretend is not what you want :)))

-

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
You don’t need to give me five stars for Vegas.-

I don’t want a pity rating.-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-sometimes i think maybe this is 

-wait i must ask marly

-rage bait for me

-is not pity rating. you did not read comment?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
I did, but just because I was ‘good’ doesn’t mean
IT was good. You obviously weren’t happy.-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-no exactly. i was not happy. was not about
sex. i was unhappy already. sex was 5 star. 

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
Oh. Sorry.-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-i already say was not you.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
No. Sorry I didn’t help, I guess?-

Or say the right thing.-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-there was no right thing to say.

-right thing to say now is change of subject.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
Did you like my photo?-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-ah good subject

-yes so hot. already i have jerked off to it.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
:/-

To a photo of laundry?-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-to memory of how laundry happened. 

-

Despite the fact that there was now an in-app return rating for Shane, it still bugged him that they wouldn’t be getting accurate reporting. Not that he thought there was really anything more some app designer could do about that, not even if Shane could somehow get every single one of his sexual encounters rated and added to the app. Which wouldn’t be what he wanted anyway. It wasn’t that he didn’t know that obviously Ilya would be miles ahead of him if they could somehow see true to life statistics, like in a video game or something. Ilya had had way more sex than Shane, and almost definitely way more good sex. 

What Shane really wanted was to wipe the other non-Shane ratings from Ilya’s app, so it was a true one to one. Ilya and Shane facing off, like they had been doing their whole careers. Easy side by side numbers, not muddied by anyone else. 

He knew it was stupid to be jealous, but he also knew it was stupid to like Ilya so much and that never stopped him. Even and especially when it should. The fact that Ilya had even backdated Shane the same amount that Shane had backdated him should have been enough. It was enough. It made Shane feel dizzy with how much he liked it, how much it turned him on, like he really was a hockey machine, getting turned on by more accurate statistics reporting. 

-

When Shane and his team booked in to their usual hotel in Boston, the night before the game, Ilya had no texted to warn him that he had left a fucking parcel for Shane with the front desk. Which meant that Shane was standing with half his teammates when the receptionist told him he had a package waiting for him from Lily, and had to basically fight for his life to be the one claiming the box. 

“C’mon, Cap!” Bouch wheedled, elbowing Shane. “What did your girl send? Cookies? Her panties?” 

“Fuck off,” Shane said, felt hot and itchy and mad. Had to cling to the box because otherwise his teammates were going to literally rip it from his arms, and who the fuck knew what Ilya had left for him. “None of your business.” 

He was shoved in the lift with too many other players, all of them wanting to know what was in the box. He wished Hayden was here to act a little like a buffer, but he wasn’t arriving until tomorrow morning because it was his father’s birthday. Or anniversary. Or something to do with his dad.

“We’re just curious!” Marchy laughed, “you’re always so quiet about your girls, man, and now your Boston girl is leaving you care packages?” 

“Good luck charms?” 

“She’s from Boston, probably a bad luck charm!” 

“If it’s cookies or food, you’ll share it, right?” 

“What if it’s cookies or food with like, her come mixed in?” 

“Okay!” Shane snapped, fully done. “Don’t be fucking gross. One more word about this or about Lily and you are all doing bags tomorrow morning and I don’t fucking care if it hurts for the game.” 

A short silence, in which the lift finally stopped at their floor, and the doors slid open. Shane pushed his way out and into the hallway, and his team followed, slightly subdued. 

“No need to bite our heads off,” Bouch muttered, followed by the grumpy agreement of a few of the others. 

“Maybe if you hadn’t literally tried to tug of war it out of my hands at the front desk,” Shane shot back, grim, “I think I’m being pretty fucking nice, considering.” 

“Okay, okay,” Marchy patted Shane on the back, “we’re sorry, cap. Enjoy your gift.” 

Shane offered Marchy an awkward smile, and then stopped at his hotel room door, waved everyone else off further down the hallway. Didn’t open his door until they’d gone a few doors down, just in case one of them would take advantage of him taking one hand off the box to open the door. 

-

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
Are you fucking insane.-

What the fuck.-

You asshole.-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-maybe a thank you would be nicer hm

-and is for YOUR asshole not me asshole

-:)))))))))))))

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
My whole fucking team were there when I got
the parcel. They tried to open it.-

And then I would have been forced to kill them,
you, and then myself, and the  NHL would never
fucking recover.-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-wow your team are dickheads

-aw would be like murder suicide pact

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
What the fuck that is not aw-

And they’re just suicide pacts, not murder.-

It’s not fucking cute, either way.-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-no you are right. killing your team mates
first takes out some romance.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
I hate you.-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-mmmmmmmm so you will wear it when
you come for me tomorrow?

-

Now Shane was pleased Hayden wasn’t coming until tomorrow morning. The fucking anal plug Ilya had left him was not discrete. It had still been in its packaging in the box, and the packaging had not been at all shy about extolling its virtues of being FLARED AND SAFE FOR ANAL and RIBBED FOR PROSTATE PLEASURE. Jesus. 

It was the same colour as his dildo at home. Had Ilya done that on purpose, or was it just a weird coincidence? How the fuck was Shane going to work himself open enough to put this in after the game without Hayden knowing something was up. He already took long showers post game so he could go to Ilya’s, and this would add a substantial chunk of time. Plus he’d have to sneak it into the bathroom. Oh god. What if he dropped it on his way into the bathroom and then he and Hayden were just staring at it on the floor. What if he couldn’t get it in and he had to smuggle it back out and into his luggage and act like he hadn’t just tried to shove something up his ass and failed at it. 

He wanted to text Ilya back and tell him he wouldn’t wear it. Not for tomorrow, at least. Punishment for sending it to Shane’s hotel. For being reckless. Except he already knew he would at the very least try. He wanted to. He wanted it in him, wanted to see if it really would sit right against his prostate like the packaging promised. Wanted to feel Ilya work it out of him, imagined Ilya’s face as he took in Shane’s asshole wet and gaping - 

Fuck. If he didn’t have a game tomorrow he’d be trying to get himself open enough for it now, he was so turned on, so mad about being so turned on. His fucking asshole was throbbing. 

He made up his mind, shoving the plug into his bag and pulling out his travel lube instead - a small bottle that looked like hand sanitiser and should probably look less like hand sanitiser because he had tried to sanitise his hands with it once. 

He called Ilya, because he wanted both his hands, and he lost all sense when he got this horny. 

“Hollander?” Ilya answered, surprise tinging his voice. 

“I hate you,” Shane gritted out, already working his trousers off one handed, as he connected his headphones so he could drop the phone down beside him on the pillow and keep Ilya’s voice in his ears. “Fuck you are such an asshole.” 

A short pause, and then Ilya laughed, warm and pleased. “Oh,” he said, “so needy for it already?” 

“Shut up,” Shane grunted, had his trousers around his ankles, and that would do. “I’m going to finger myself and you’re going to tell me how badly you want to fuck me.” 

“Am I?” Ilya asked, sounding like he was trying to sound sarcastic, maybe, but was too turned on. 

“Yes,” Shane squirted some lube onto his fingers, and rubbed the slick liquid together, smearing it over his fingertips and warming it. “Or I can hang up and get myself off without you.” 

“I want to fuck you so bad,” Ilya said immediately, “fuck, Hollander. I thought about seeing you with plug in and could not stop myself from buying. I wanted it immediately. Have been thinking about pressing you down in my bed, face in my pillows, and pulling your ass up and seeing the toy in you, holding you open and ready for me.” 

“Oh fuck,” Shane groaned, pushed two fingers in against himself, wanting the sharper stretch, the bite of it. “It’s big,” he breathed, slipped the tip of his middle finger inside himself, followed it immediately with his pointer finger, and moaned again. “And I’d - I’d - I’d have tightened around it on the trip to your place.” 

Ilya grunted, like he was holding himself back from groaning long and loud, and Shane could hear the wet noise of Ilya’s hand on his cock. “I’d stretch you out when I pull it out of you,” he said, “fuck you with the plug until you’re loose again, watch your rim go soft and sloppy -” 

The part of Shane that felt shame panged at this, but it only translated into arousal in his stomach, with the way Ilya’s voice sounded and the way his fingers in his ass felt, and he moaned with it, pushed his fingers in deeper. Wished he’d brought his dildo. Wished Ilya were here, his fingers in Shane, getting deeper than Shane ever could, stretching him wide. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Shane panted, “fuck- would you - ngh - would you try and get a finger in with it? When you’ve got me loose like that?” 

“Fuck, Hollander,” Ilya growled, “yes. You want that? You’ve been thinking about me getting my cock and your dildo in your hole at same time?”

“Yes, fuck,” the bed was starting to rock against the wall, Shane hadn’t realised he’d been moving so much. Didn’t stop. “Keep - keep thinking about it, keep wanting it -” 

“You tried?” Ilya asked, rough and low, “dildo and your fingers? Wanted more?” 

“Yes, needed -” Shane cut himself off with a gasp for breath, bit down on a moan that was threating to come out as some horrible keening noise. “Needed you.” 

Ilya swore loud and vicious over the phone, and the rhythmic wet slide of his hand and his cock sped up. “I want to fucking fill you up, put plug back in, keep you open and wet -” 

Ilya’s voice stuttered off into a loud groan as he came, swearing and panting, and Shane came like his body had a switch flicked, sudden and consuming, and he didn’t give a fuck about what noises he was making as he fought to take a full breath. 

His shoulder ached a little as he pulled his hand away from himself, trailed his fingers through the come on his stomach. Listened to Ilya breathe on the other end of the phone. 

Then Ilya laughed, sudden and hoarse. 

“Fuck, Hollander,” he said, “you will kill me.” 

“Only after I have to kill my team,” Shane said, sleepy and unbearably happy. 

“I am at Marly’s,” Ilya said then, “took phonecall to bathroom. I am going to be laughed at so loud when I go back in.” 

“Fuck,” Shane snorted, couldn’t even bring himself to be anxious about it. “Tell Marlow he’s welcome, I guess.”

Ilya laughed again, quieter. “Fuck,” he said, “I love - is so - I like when you are bad, Hollander.” 

Shane closed his eyes as his stomach fluttered, or roiled, or something. “Tell me about it on the app,” he said. “I have to clean up. Got a game tomorrow.” 

“Mm,” Ilya sighed, “so do I. I am not worried, do not think I even need to get a good night sleep to be beating this team. Mediocre, all of them, except for one player. He is maybe worth working hard for.” 

“Mitty won’t let you fuck him,” Shane replied, smiling to himself, “but I agree he’s a good goalie.” 

“So stupid,” Ilya said. “I will see you tomorrow.” 

“Probably mostly only my skates,” Shane said, “‘cause you’ll be chasing me all game.” 

-

Lily has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

fuck jane. we should do phone sex every day. so hot. the things you say when you are horny make me want to run through walls to get to fuck you. thinking about you with your fingers in yourself and wanting me and not having enough is driving me crazy even right now. marlow thinks i am texting you he says i have my jane face on and that we are both insayshable or however you spell it marly doesnt know either. he said that it sounded like i was being fucking hunted and it was very much like that you hunting me and me hunting you and maybe we rip each other apart or we fuck or both. 

-

You rated Lily 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

Lost one star because I wanted so badly to be actually fucked, and also because I’m still mad you sent the plug TO MY HOTEL where my teammates are, and if I hadn’t still been at reception they would have literally opened it and seen it and then all of us would be dead right now. Also I can’t believe you actively participated in phone sex while at Marlow’s house wtf and why was that so hot. I wanted everything you were saying and the way you said it made me feel like it was really happening, just for moments at a time and I couldn’t believe I wasn’t fucked open for real afterwards. 

-

Hayden asked about the Lily package, when he arrived at the hotel that morning. Said the group chat had been blowing up with guesses about what was in it, and bets, and because Shane hadn’t even opened the chat they were relying on Hayden to get the information. 

“It’s private,” Shane said, sitting on the hotel room floor while he did some stretches. “I’m not settling their bets about it. I told them to back off.” 

Hayden, rummaging in his bag for his favourite game socks which he somehow always packed so squirrely that he had to dig for them every time, laughed. “Okay,” he said. “Want me to make something up? Or just tell them I don’t know?” 

Shane hesitated. If they made something up, then hopefully the guys would get off his back about it, but then he’d be giving in to their stupid peer pressure about it, and he hated to give in. And if Hayden said he didn’t know, then they would both be bugged about it. 

“I don’t know,” he said, “I just want them to shut up about it.” 

Hayden was quiet for a long moment, and then he sighed. “Okay, but. You could tell me, and I wouldn’t tell the rest of them.” 

Shane didn’t reply, could feel his ears burning at the thought of telling Hayden even a hint of what he’d received. 

“You don’t have to, obviously,” Hayden continued, “I’m just curious. You always say like, that Lily is just a friend, or casual, and now she’s sending you things to your hotel and you’re all… weird about it.” 

Stretching over his legs so he could wrap his hands around his toes, Shane closed his eyes, rested his forehead against his knees. Focused on the slight burn of the stretch, the comforting heat of it. 

“I’m not being weird about it,” he said, “I just want my privacy respected.” 

“You’re being weird about it,” Hayden repeated. “As well as wanting your privacy respected. I mean, I get it, buddy, it’s just that the weirder you are about it the more curious people get.” 

Shane let go of his toes, relaxed. Stayed slumped over his legs. “It’s something she wants me to wear, when I go see her,” he said, his voice coming out a little muffled with the way he was squishing his lungs into his thighs. “And I don’t want the guys to see. Or you to see.” 

No noise from Hayden. Hopefully he just thought it was like, some stupid sexy, like, harness thing. Or a cock ring? That wouldn’t be so bad. He wouldn’t even mind so much if Hayden thought Lily wanted him to wear like, maybe something lacy. Jacki talked about how much she liked men in lingerie, so there was a good chance Hayden had at least worn panties or something before. 

“Holy shit,” Hayden said, and Shane’s heart slunk out of his chest and into his toes. “Boston Lily. Fuck, she’s making you wear a Bear’s shirt?” 

Shane was glad he was still face down in his legs, because then Hayden couldn’t see the immediate relief wash over his face. 

“Don’t tell the guys,” he said. “If they bug you about it, just, like, say something stupid like, um, a cock ring?” 

He sat up and looked at Hayden who was staring at him with a half shocked grin. 

“Wait,” Shane narrowed his eyes, “if you say cock ring, who would win the bet?” 

“Um,” Hayden checked his phone, “Pat, it looks like. Probably Marchy as well.” 

“Okay,” Shane lifted his arms over his head, tucked one leg up so his foot pressed against his inner thigh. “We need a dumb answer that means no one wins the bet. Ideas?” 

-

Shane always worked hard to keep his off ice thoughts about Ilya off the ice, but it was difficult skating up to him for the face off and watching Ilya lick his lips. 

“Fuck off,” Shane murmured, and Ilya laughed at him. 

“I am just feeling hungry,” Ilya said, low and amused, like he was just chirping Shane like a normal person. “And I see such a tasty snack for me.” 

“Snacks are for after game,” Shane said firmly, repeated in silently just for his dick to get the message as well. “Keep your mouth to yourself.” 

The puck dropped. 

Halfway through second period, Shane had Ilya up against the boards, the puck rattling between their sticks, and when Shane leaned hard into Ilya, Ilya moaned, soft, a smirk on his face as Shane jolted. 

“I like it when you get on top,” Ilya said, grinning as Shane glared at him, puck still in contention. “Bouncing on me like bunny.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Shane grunted back, “Or there won’t be any fucking bouncing.” 

He poked the puck out, broke away with it, Ilya laughing behind him. 

-

It ended up being a close game, and a frustrating one as well, Ilya dogging Shane wherever he was on the ice, snarking out comments too quiet to be heard by anyone else, getting Shane’s cock uncomfortably hard in his cup until he was gritting his teeth and reduced to checking Ilya rather than trying to wind his way around him. 

Boston won by one in overtime, but Shane still ended up with more points than Ilya, so it didn’t feel like a total loss. 

It almost meant that his team wasn’t so upset about the loss that they needed him to give a pep talk, just dismayed enough to want to go to a club and drink it off, and they didn’t need him for that. Even Hayden was going to go, though he hung around in their hotel room before he left, with the sole intent of chirping Shane. 

“I’m not putting it on in front of you,” Shane said, as calmly as he could with his ears bright red, his back to Hayden. He was pretending to get his bathroom gear together, but he already had everything in his dopp, except for the fucking plug, so he was just making a mess of his stuff. “You may as well just go, Hayd.” 

“C’mon,” Hayden wheedled, “I just wanna send a pic to Jacki, she’d love it.”

“I know she would,” Shane rolled his eyes. If he actually did have a Bear’s shirt, he would wear it for Jacki’s amusement. “But I don’t trust your photo security. You’re always showing us screenshots and shit on your phone and accidentally showing us fucking close ups of bug bites, and Jacki’s tits. Someone else would see it.” 

Hayden groaned, but then sighed in acquiescence. “Nah, you’re right,” he said. “Okay, fine. I’ll leave you to get ready for your not a date date, then. Is she going to call you Rozanov, as well?” 

“Fuck off,” Shane snorted, “absolutely the fuck not.” 

-

He did all his usual prep first, moving slow and careful, trying not to think about how much he was going to need to stretch, how it would feel, how he was planning on going out into public with it in. Had to focus. Despite the fact that Hayden had left and probably wouldn’t be back for a good few hours, not until after Shane had left, he still deadlocked the hotel room door, and locked the bathroom door for good measure. Had absolutely no intentions of being caught with his trousers down (and his ass open). 

It was hard finding a good angle to finger himself open, he never really bothered with much more than two fingers for prep because Ilya always fingered him as well, like he enjoyed prepping Shane for him. Hard to remember to keep himself from rubbing against his prostate so he wouldn’t get sidetracked. Got sidetracked a little, and ended up coming with three of his fingers in his ass and his mind on the plug. Had to take a short break so he could get his fingers back in himself without moaning and twitching away from himself. 

His phone buzzed on the counter, Lily’s name flashing across it, and he imagined what the message might say. Asking how open Shane’s hole was, maybe, or for an ETA, or a dick pic. 

He probably used too much lube - his underwear was going to be damp and sticky, which was an uncomfortable though - but better too much than too little. He’d been almost scared, pushing the widest part into himself, that it wouldn’t be able to come out again. He’d tense up too much around it and freak out, and it would hurt, and Ilya would never want to see him again. So. More lube. It would be fine. 

He didn’t look at his phone until he picked it up to order his car, and then didn’t look at the messages from Lily until he was in the backseat. 

-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-having a few drinks with winning team
before going home to poor sad loser :)) 

-i will comfort you with my cock and you
can reward me with your fucked out hole.

-i am trying to be here thinking about team

and alcohol and celebrating, but all i am
really able to think is about you getting

yourself ready for me, putting my gift in,

and getting in car to come to me.

-is in yet? feel good?

-i need to know how feels in car

-i am home and waiting for you now

-waiting for your mouth and your hole

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
Fuck you, I scored more points than you-

So I’m not a sad loser.-

You better not have ahd too much to fuck me-

I’m in the car and everytime we stop at a light
It’s pushing against me and I’m fucjking leaking
in my pants in the tcar trying not to look like i’m
being fucking edged by a hunk of plastic.-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-forget hunk of plastic, is really hunk of
man who is edging you. Was me who 

told yu to put in.
-is taxi driver looking at you?

-your pink face?

-are you making pretty noieses for him?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
Fuck you I’m handling myself fine.-

He hasn’t noticed anything.-

It feels really good, though, I keep wanting to.-

Make noise.-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-fuck yes i bet you do. want to whine for 

more

-stuffed full but not enough ah?

-maybe if i was in car with you i would
reach over and slip my hand into back of
your pants.

-push my fingers down your crack to

your hole and press on base of toy, push

in deeper

-grip it and pull out a little. put my finger in

as well.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
Fuck you need to stop-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-you can stop reading messages malysh
-too turned on hm?

-making a mess in your pants?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Lily
Fucjk you.-

FROM Lily________________________________________________________________

-Sooooon :))))))))

-

“Fuck you,” Shane growled, sliding in to the house the moment Ilya opened the door. “I almost fucking came in the car and that would have tanked my uber rating.” 

“Would have sky rocketed your sex rating,” Ilya replied, face smug. “I need you naked now. Need to see you now.” 

They already had their hands on each other, the door shut with a kick, shoulders bumping into the wall as their mouths collided in uncoordinated kisses. 

“Feel it,” Shane demanded, bit at Ilya’s cheek. “Fuck, put your hand down my sweatpants and feel it.” 

Wasting no time, Ilya’s hand pushed under the sweatpants elastic, and the thinner material of Shane’s boxer briefs. He cupped Shane’s ass cheek first, squeezing him quick and rough before curving his fingers down and around until his palm was against the base of the toy. 

“Fuck,” Ilya groaned, “is bigger than I thought, feeling it, fuck. Is all in you?” 

“No, I left some at the hotel,” Shane sniped, pushing back against the pressure of Ilya’s hand, wanting more. “Fucking come on, Rozanov, fuck -” 

Ilya pressed the heel of his hand hard into the silicone and Shane jerked, moaned, felt like his body was being rushed with endorphins, overwhelming, the pressure inside him everywhere suddenly. 

“Like this?” Ilya asked, his other arm was now wrapped firmly around Shane’s waist, holding him tight against Ilya’s chest. “Malysh, you like?” 

“Yes, yeah,” Shane moaned, grappled with Ilya’s shirt until he could get a grip on it, clung to him. “More, fuck - I think I could come like this -” 

Ilya rocked his hand against the base of the toy again, and then hooked his fingers around the flare of it, his fingertips pressing into slick wet flesh, and tugged gently. Like Ilya had attached a hook to his prostrate and jerked it. Painful pleasure coursing through him, his every nerve focused only on the push and pull of it. 

“Upstairs, I think,” Ilya said conversationally, tugged at the toy again, pulling another moan out of Shane, “I need to see. I need you in my bed. Yes?” 

“Yes,” Shane repeated, managed to hold himself together instead of giving in to the pulse of want and need. 

They stumbled up the stairs together, Shane letting himself be manhandled, half carried even as he did his best to keep his feet underneath him. He had had a moment of fear in the car that he would actually come just thinking about Ilya touching the plug, and for a second he didn’t even care about what the consequences would be. If Ilya wanted, he could make Shane come right now, and then still take him upstairs and fuck him as much as he wanted. 

Ilya pushed Shane down onto the bed, stripping him off his sweats - pausing for a moment to detangle them from the shoes he’d forgotten about, Ilya pulling them off without undoing the laces - and throwing his clothes off to the side. Yanked at his shirt until Shane got the message and shifted around to help, holding his arms up. Watched as Ilya stripped his own clothing off with jerky movements, dropping the clothes and climbing onto the bed with Shane, hauling him up the mattress to the pillows. 

“Okay?” he asked, once Shane’s head hit the pillow, half way to turning onto his stomach, his whole body alight with Ilya’s hand on his lower back. “With me?” 

“Yes,” Shane said, got his knees underneath him. “Fuck, Rozanov, please. Please.”

Ilya swore in hushed, sharp Russian, and then his hand was on Shane’s nape. He leaned in and kissed Shane once, wet and biting, and then pressed down until Shane let his shoulders relax and slumped into the pillow. 

“So good,” Ilya soothed, up on his knees, behind Shane now, his hands on Shane’s hips, on the small of his back, in the dips by his spine. “Takaya seksual'naya, krasivyy, malysh.” 

Shane moaned at the way Ilya’s voice was soaked in affection, moaned again when Ilya’s hands slid smoothly down and around his ass cheeks, and pulled him open, thumbs pressing and sliding to grip at him tightly, and he felt himself pulse, his muscles sucking the toy in deeper like a reflex to Ilya’s eyes on him. Always wanting to be fucked. 

“Fuuuuck,” Ilya breathed, “this is best view. Fuck anything else, this is what I would pay to see.” 

“Shut up,” Shane moaned, pressing his face into the pillow, the fabric already damp where Shane’s mouth pushed against it. “Don’t say shit like that.” 

“Is true,” Ilya said, “make it move again, like is fucking you.” 

Humiliation pooled in Shane’s gut, but it stung so nicely, hot and brutal, and he could only huff out a whining protest and do it anyway. Focus on the weight of it in him and squeeze around it. Knew he’d done a good job when Ilya started swearing again, and then there was pressure against the base, and Ilya was telling him to keep going, so he did, each tensing followed by the jolt of the plug slamming back into him rather than the slower suck of it. 

“I’m gonna come,” he slurred into the pillow. Wanted Ilya to know exactly what this would mean; “You can still use me though,” he said, “even if I don’t come again. Want you.” 

Ilya groaned so loudly that for a moment Shane thought he had come instead, and then Ilya was pulling his hand away from the toy, gripping at Shane’s hips instead, pressing a kiss to the middle of Shane’s back. 

“Not yet, malysh,” he said, “you can wait, yes? Wait for me, I want you coming on my cock, love to feel you squeeze me.” 

“You’ve gotta stop toying with me then,” Shane said, inhaled wetly. “Fuck - I can’t - I can try to - to wait but I’m so - it’s so much I don’t think I’ll be able to help it if you keep doing that.” 

A short pause, and then Ilya pressed another kiss to his back. “Okay,” he said. “I will be nice, yes? You have done so good for me already, moy malysh, coming here like this for me, opening yourself up so pretty. I love hearing you all whine and need, I want to give you what you want, mm?” He pressed another kiss to Shane’s skin, right in the dip before his ass. “You just have to be patient a little more, yes? I take plug out, and you will be so good and not come, and then I will fuck you, and tell you when you can come. You can do this?” 

“Yeah,” Shane found himself agreeing, nodding into the pillow. “Yes, I can, I will. Please.” 

“Okay,” Ilya said again, “I have you, let me have you, da?” 

“Da,” Shane mumbled, felt the tension in his shoulders and purposefully dropped it. Left himself to Ilya. 

Ilya, whose thumb was under the rim of the plug and pushing at Shane’s rim, a persistent nudging ache, and then the give of muscle and the drag of his thumb against the walls of his ass. If Shane could think of anything but what Ilya said he would do, he would be embarrassed by the wet noise of it, the suction suck of it, but he didn’t care. Didn’t care about the moan consistent in his throat, falling out of his mouth like drool, which he also didn’t care about. He wasn’t coming, he was waiting, he was being patient, he was being opened on Ilya’s thumbs around the toy, and his rim was pulling and aching, and Ilya’s voice was soothing. 

It hurt coming out, but in a dull distant way, where the only real sparks were of pleasure and relief and some odd swarm of grief deep in his guts, and he sobbed aloud, thought maybe he was pleading. Ilya, warm on his back, mouth soft and then hard on his face his lips. Speaking. Shane focused. 

“Okay?” Ilya was asking again, “Lyubimyy, you are with me?” 

“Mmyes,” Shane agreed, opened his mouth to be kissed again. He ached, uncomfortable and needy and empty. Still waiting. “Please fuck me, please.” 

“I am getting to it,” Ilya said, chuckled low, kissed Shane again, “you are feeling good?” 

“Yeah,” Shane breathed, “but I need it. I need you in me.” 

“I give,” Ilya promised. Kissed him once more, and then he was pulling back, and Shane whined about that as well. 

Wanted the warmth of Ilya wrapped over him, wanted his mouth on his, wanted Ilya in him, filling him up, holding him down, making him real, giving him permission, wanting him, wanting his want. 

It felt like forever and was probably only a few seconds, Ilya moving behind him, noises that were probably a condom and lube, and then Ilya was pushing inside him, and he just shoved right in, like Shane’s ass was where he belonged, and he knew there would be no friction, no resistance. He was right. 

Shane probably moaned, Ilya was. Swearing and huffing as well, his hands tight on Shane’s hips like he needed to hold on or else. 

“Fuck,” Ilya groaned, “you are so hot and warm and wet. Is like fucking a pussy, Hollander.” 

“Fuck you,” Shane managed, his cock was aching, hanging between his legs, getting only incidental friction, and ready to go anyway. 

“No, is so good, malysh,” Ilya said, pulled out enough to fuck back in, his hips meeting Shane’s ass with a wet smack. “Better than any pussy, you take me so deep, take me so good.” 

Next time they did this, Shane decided hazily, he was going to hold himself together more. He’d make himself come twice beforehand if he needed to. He was so lost in the slide of Ilya inside him and he still wanted more. Felt the want and need buzzing under his skin alongside the need to come, and pressure inside him building and fizzing and escape out of his mouth in pants and moans. 

“Maybe next time I fuck you without condom,” Ilya panted, his hips working hard, noisy. “Fill you up for real. You want?” 

“Yeah,” Shane said, would agree to anything Ilya wanted. “I want.” 

“You want to come?” Ilya asked, so sweet, he was laying back over Shane’s body, just grinding in Shane, hot and pulsing. “You need to come?” 

“Yeah,” Shane repeated, rubbed his face against the wet pillow, took a ragged breath. “Please.” 

“Let go then,” Ilya told him, gripped Shane’s hips tighter, “give it to me, I want to feel you coming on me.” 

Permission granted, Shane let himself let go, dropped the thin veneer of control he had and shoved his face further into the pillow so he could bite at it to muffle his moans, was sure he was crying, but couldn’t stop it. Ilya kept fucking him through it, electricity dancing up Shane’s spine and sending shock waves up his skull. Pressed into the pillow his vision pulsed a melange of black and red shapes, fireworks and stars popping in the darkness. He wished Ilya wasn’t using a condom now. Wished this could end with him dripping with lube and Ilya, and Ilya would really plug him up and send him back to the hotel with him inside. 

When Ilya eased out of him, he lowered Shane’s hips carefully to the bed, and then moved up to roll Shane onto his side, like he needed to be in the recovery position or something. He took Shane’s cheek in his palm, rubbed his thumb under Shane’s lip, kissed him slow. 

“You are champion, Hollander,” he said, quiet and fond. Kissed Shane again and this time Shane could make his mouth work, and kissed him back. “Feeling okay?” 

“Yeah,” Shane whispered, blinked a few times experimentally, and was glad to see Ilya’s face, sweaty and red, and beautiful. “Hi.” 

“Hi,” Ilya snorted. “Oof, that was a lot, huh? I think you have flooded bed.” 

Shane didn’t care. “Yeah, well you made me go blind for a bit, so, we’re even.” 

“Blind?” Ilya sounded actually worried, leaning in and looking into Shane’s eyes like he’d see an error message or something. “Not seeing?” 

“I’m fine,” Shane shook his head, pushed up and claimed another kiss. “Just - it was a lot. Brain overload. I can see fine.” 

“Okay,” Ilya relented. “You were so good. So hot.” 

“Yeah?” Shane asked, and when Ilya nodded he felt like he was much too happy for someone lying in a mess of their own come, spit, and leaked lube. “Not too quick? I came before I left the hotel too, but. It was… intense.” 

“No, not too quick,” Ilya said, reassuring in a way he only got when Shane really showed his underbelly. “Ideal’nyy, malysh.”

“Okay,” Shane nodded, didn’t need to speak Russian to know Ilya had complimented him in some way, and Shane didn’t care what way it was. “I need to clean up. We have an early flight tomorrow.” 

-

You rated Lily 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

Never send something like this to my hotel again. However. I think I was so turned on I saw new colours. I don’t know how to explain what it is that happens sometimes when we’re fucking, but it’s like everything goes fuzzy. In a good way, a really good way. Everything is just sensations and feelings and you’re really good at making all the sensations and feelings really good ones. I’m counting the sexting in the car as foreplay, because I kind of went crazy as soon as we saw each other in person. It was really hot foreplay, and when you actually did get your hand down my pants I could have come right then and there. Sorry I couldn’t last longer, I wanted to do more with it as well. Let you fuck me with the plug as well as your cock, and then put it back in. I think probably we’d need a day where I don’t have travel or skate the following day because my ass hurts now.

-

Lily has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

i will be having wet dreams about this for rest of my life. you looked so good with plug in you, stretching around it so pretty. loved how wet you made it with lube and your precome, so sloppy. perfect pussy to fuck. is a pity plug will live in montreal, i will miss it very much. maybe next time i send cock ring to your hotel room, hm? help you be patient for me. would look so good in it. 

Chapter 5: ILYA

Chapter Notes

😳😙😏
edit - I've just added drawings of some of the 'attached photos' (my drawings!)

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

you show pike wife shirt yet?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-I should have never told you about that.
-Yes. Hayd asked if I’d washed it first :/

-Jacki thought it was hilarious 

-Thanks, I guess, for the shirt. 

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

because is funniest thing-

your BEST FRIEND thinking your Lily has
you wearing bears shirt in bed-
he is obviously decided you are sub :)-

will do anything for your girl-

wait how does he know you are sub-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Shut the fuck up.

-I’m not a sub.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

if i asked you to wear bear shirt next time we
fuck, you would do-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-I would not.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

mmmmm no i think you would-

if i say i will not fuck you without shirt-

i would let you watch me jerk off, maybe-

but i would not touch, even if you were holding
yourself open for me and dripping-

you would put shirt on and would thank me-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Fuck off

-Fine. Fuck. Why is that hot?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

;))))))))-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Anyway. Hayd doesn’t know shit.

-He just knew it was something I would be
embarrassed to wear and be seen wearing.

-He thinks I lost a bet to you.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

i think maybe next time i send you gift
to hotel i will tell you to wear it there too-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-NO more ‘gifts’ to hotels.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

but i have found website where i can buy
shirts saying whatever i want-

maybe shirt saying property of lily on front
with arrow pointing down-

also same thing on back-

so no one can say they didn’t see-

and try to take for themselves :)-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-You’re so stupid.

-No.

-I would never hear the end of it.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

part of you wants anyway-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-No.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

dick part, i think ;)))))-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Shut the fuck up oh my god.

-

Ilya was beginning to think that there was something actually medically wrong with him. He was at the point now where he was considering even bringing it up to the team medic, making an appointment, not even waiting for his next check up. 

It was with Svetlana when things all came to a head - or, actually, no head in this case. 

She had come over with sushi and vodka, and horror stories from work, and they had been having a good, normal, fun time. Then at some point, like it often did, things slipped from hanging out and chatting to hanging out and hooking up, and she sat in his lap and kissed him, grinding against his crotch, and he kissed her back, his hands on her hips, and then she just stopped, took her mouth off his. 

“What is going on?” She asked, eyebrows drawn together as she looked down first at Ilya’s face, and then to their laps. 

“What?” Ilya asked, shrugging, keeping his hands on her hips. Was hoping maybe if he just acted like nothing was wrong, they would keep kissing, and things would end up okay and he wouldn’t have to make an appointment with the fucking doctor. 

“Do not ‘what’ me, Ilyushka,” Svetlana said, voice sharp. She rocked herself against him, hips dipping down in practiced, tight movements. “You are not hard.” 

“We only just started kissing,” he protested, knew he was giving himself away. That he ought to have just flipped them over and said something about how it was because he hadn’t tasted her pussy yet, ate her out until he got hard. 

“No,” Svetlana said, her eyes narrowed. She poked him in the chest with one of her very pointy painted nails. “No, you get hard so easy I could use you as clothes hook.” 

“Maybe I have already fucked too much today,” Ilya shot back, “maybe he is sleeping now, your pussy is not magic, Svetochka.”

“Fuck you,” she snorted, “it is magic. Not as magic as Jane’s pussy, hm?” 

He glared at her. 

“I saw your rating went back up,” Svetlana added, her eyebrows high now, she wasn’t looking concerned anymore, instead, something smug was creeping across her face. “Ahhh, I see.” 

“Nothing to see,” Ilya told her, and then growled, shook his head. “I think perhaps I have broken him. My dick.” 

“Oh dear,” Svetlana said, grinning. She was still in his lap but was just sitting now, all pretext of sex gone. 

“Yes, oh dear,” Ilya spat, lifted his hands to run through his hair, and then tipped his head back against the top of the couch, covered his face with his hands. “I tried at club, very pretty woman with her hand around me, and nothing. And then I try next day at party, woman with huge beautiful ass grinding on me and still he will not stand up for it. And now? Still nothing.” 

“Poor baby,” Svetlana cooed, and then reached down between them and patted his dick through his jeans. “He is just missing his favourite pussy, hm?” 

“I do not do things like this,” Ilya said, flat, “my Jane is my favourite, but is not a relationship. I am still allowed to be fucking everyone else I want to fuck.” 

“Mhm,” she looked at him like he was an idiot, which was usually fair, but Ilya didn’t think it was warranted right now. “I think you are just finding out, a little later than your dick, that the everyone else you want to fuck is actually no one else.” 

“No,” Ilya shook his head. “No, he is just broken. I will see doctor and get pills and he will be fixed.” 

Svetlana climbed off his lap then, sat close beside him, her hand going to his face and gripping him firmly by the chin. She pulled his face towards her, and shook him lightly until he relented and looked at her as well. 

“If he still works for Jane,” she said, “he is not broken. Have you checked this?” 

Ilya had in fact jerked off about Shane just this morning. “Maybe,” he said. 

She made a face at him, letting him know she saw right through him and was finding him a little pathetic right now. “Okay,” she said. “Lover boy. This is not the worst thing in the world. You can let yourself like just one person without having to let go of your whore persona.” 

“You are saying you will not miss my cock?” Ilya shot at her, angry at himself. “We fuck for years, you and me, and then I have someone who is not even my partner and I do not want to fuck you anymore. This does not hurt your feelings?”

She laughed at him, which hurt his feelings a little. Then she kissed his cheek, which soothed him somewhat. Not fully. 

“You are very good with your cock,” she told him. “You know this, I know this, your app knows this. But you are not the only cock I have at my disposal, not the only good fuck I get. You don’t stop being my friend just because you don’t want to be inside me. Your feelings are hurt because I am not jealous?” 

“No,” he said, only a little bit of a lie. “This would have been easier, I think, if he was just a bit broken. I could get that fixed, probably. I have money. Would be fine.” 

She was looking at him like he had just said something awfully sad, and she didn’t know how to tell him it wasn’t just a funny joke about his childhood, but maybe something terrible he should not laugh about. She used to look at him like that a lot, when he had first moved to America. 

“Why do you think that?” She asked. 

Ilya paused, cleared his throat. He looked away from her, and her grip on his face loosened, letting him run from her. “I want to drink more, and maybe play video games. Yes?” 

-

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ -

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-What?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

very hot sexy dream with you can’t go
on app but still deserved 5 stars ;)-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Oh my god.

-You can’t just start a conversation
normally for once?

-Tell me what happened in the dream.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

hm i am confused, you say to be normal and then
you want me to tell you details of sexy dream?-

sounded like you were annoyed but now you want
me to sext you? ;))))-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-So now I can’t be annoyed and horny?
-YOU started it, you obviously want to
sext me.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

maybe i just thought my competitive jane would
like to know she is literal dream girl?-

that even in my dreams she is 5 stars sexy-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-You piss me off so much

-Please fucjking tell me

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

mm better-

sweet horny slut-

already touching yourself?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Yes

-slut for you

-cmon

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

i had you on your back so i could see your little
tits bounce when i fucked into you-

you were holding your legs up for me, so good-

showing me your wet pink hole-

stretched around a fat cock-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-fuck

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

idk whos fat cock, did not bother dreaming
his face, he was like bed for you to lie on-

just with fat cock to hold you open for me too-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-oh fuck wht the fuck

-sdf

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

da that is what you said when i fucked my cock
in next to his-

fucking you so open, moaning so pretty for me-

he was already in you so deep but you ar such slut
begging for more needing my cock harder and
deeper-

you could be fucked by anyone else and still want
my cock-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-yesf fuck

-i need yur cock

-ineedyou im me

-dnt giv a fuckk about anyine els

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

fuck baby you are so good taking me so good-

you let me cum in you filling you up-

so when i pull out i can hold you open and see
my cum in you and on the cock in you still-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-fuckfuck can i com

-plese

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

i didnt let you come yet in my dream-

i told our bed man to hold you down and i
put your plug in you-

barely had to try you were so fucked open-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-ilyplease

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

ok baby ok i let you come in dream, my hand
on your wet cock and my tongue in your mouth-

i want ti sucjk you off-
love how yourataste-

so mcuhleaking from you-

fuck-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Holy shit.

-What the fuck.

-That was. I don’t know. Did you really
dream all that?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

you did not like?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-No, I fucking liked it.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

i dream most of it, add some extra just for you ;)))-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Quit hockey.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

hey what the fuck!?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-So you can be a full time sex person
-I don’t know
-My brain has melted out of my ears
-I was supposed to be on my run
-Can’t move

-don’t actually quit hockey i’d miss playing

against you.

-beating you

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

lollllllll-

my dick so good even over text it makes
you skip cardio? maybe i should quit-

seems like i have better career waiting-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-:/

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

but sadly for world of horny people i have to
keep playing so second best hockey player
does not get bored, so sad :((((-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Fuck off.

-I’m still going to do cardio.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

are you slut for me or for excercise???-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-No comment.

-

Jane has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

I almost gave you three stars just because you piss me off so much sometimes but then it wouldn’t be a truthful rating. Your brain is fucking insane. Why do you get to have sex dreams like that and I just stress dream about, like, my teeth falling out and tripping in a game? Anyway, four stars because as good as you make it in my head I hate the feeling of coming and then being alone and empty. You were right that my dildo is too small. The plug is too big for casually fucking myself with, though. I like the idea of taking two cocks but I think I would actually hate it if there was anyone else there. Bed guy would be perfect because he isn’t real. 

PHOTO ATTACHMENT

(Close up of a bare stomach, come streaked across it, and in the belly button)

-

You rated Jane 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

maybe you will be mad i am rating you wrong here but the you in my dream was so good and hot and just like real you i cant help it. could still feel you kissing me when i woke up. i was so fucjing hard i jerked off right then before i texted you and then seeing how worke up you got about the texts got me hard again like you have made devil pact with my cock so when you are hard i am hard. PS i updated tip pic ;)))))))

PHOTO ATTACHMENT

(Ilya’s face, he’s winking, and licking come off his hand.}

-

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

oh fuck your photo-

spank bank ;)))))))))))-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-I hate that.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

you are like zlatovlaska and bears-

wait-

goldylocks and 3 bears-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-What the fuck?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

oh nooo, this cock is toooo small, and this
cock is tooo big-

good thing my cock is just right, da?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Hilarious :/

-Too bad your cock is attached to you. 

-And is so fucking far away.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

poor baby-

you think is not hard for me? your holes
in boring mtl?-

i will send you just right dildo for when you
are missing real thing-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-What, are you going to colour coordinate
this one too?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

you noticed :))))))))))-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Obviously I noticed.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

:))))))))))))))))))))))))-

-

“Marly,” Ilya said, casual, cool, calm, collected, other words beginning with c, like captain, or charming. 

“Rozy,” Marly grunted back, not noticing how entirely unphased Ilya was, because he was busy wrangling wrapping paper around a doll set he’d bought for his niece, or his nephew. Ilya always got these english words mixed up. For his sister’s kids. He was not good at wrapping. 

“You remember when you were dating Theresa,” Ilya said.

Marly handed him the roll of sellotape. “Find the end for me. And yes, dickhead, I remember. Why? She back in town?”

“No,” Ilya took the tape and started running his thumb nail around the circle of it. “No, I was just, uh, wondering. You two were, well, serious. Yes? About each other?” He found the end of the tape, and peeled it back. 

“Jesus, Roz,” Marly grunted, held his hand out for the tape, and Ilya handed it back over. “Yes. I fucking loved her. Want me to go grab some salt from the kitchen so you can rub it in?” 

“Ah,” Ilya screwed his face up, knew he was being a shitty friend. Didn’t know how else to ask his questions. “No. I am not - I know is not a nice subject -” 

“Just ask, whatever it is, man,” Marly sighed. He bit off a stretch of tape and stuck down a very crumpled fold of wrapping paper. “What’s on your brain?” 

“Did your dick still get hard around other pretty woman?” Ilya’s mouth said, like a lunatic. “I mean, ah, you loved her, I know, but was it - did your body stop… responding to anyone but her?” 

Marly put the tape down and turned his entire body towards Ilya, eyebrows raised high, mouth amused. “What?” 

Ilya shrugged, waved his hands in the air like he could grab the right words to quell his embarrassment. Not that he was embarrassed, he did not get embarrassed. He was chill. Charismatic. 

Marly took pity on him, not enough to stop smirking, but still. “Okay,” he said. “No? I mean, I wasn’t going out dancing with anyone but her, so it wasn’t like I would know if I was going to pop a boner for someone else like that. But I didn’t stop find other people attractive, or anything. I still jerked off to porn, stuff like that.” 

Ilya hadn’t bothered with seeing if his dick responded to porn, mostly because whenever he was getting horny these days, his brain automatically flooded with his own personal memory porn stash of Shane on his knees, Shane on his back, Shane on his stomach, Shane’s ass, Shane’s mouth, Shane’s cock, Shane’s tits, Shane - 

“Right,” Ilya said. 

“Sooo,” Marly drawled. Was still smirking, the asshole. “Your dick isn’t getting it up for anyone but Jane, huh?” 

“Fuck off.”

“Doesn’t sound quite as casual as you keep pretending it is,” Marly said with a shrug and a grin, not fucking off. He did turn back to the table and his terrible wrapping job, though. “I once saw you pop one over a interviewer on TV in a slightly tight skirt.” 

Ilya had in fact, not, popped one over the interviewer on the TV, he had just been taken by surprise to see she had caught Shane for a rare shirtless interview, and Shane’s chest had been shining with sweat, and heaving, and he had a graze all pink just under his nipple, and Ilya had imagined sucking a hickey right into the spot because it would be hidden in the bruising and - yeah - he had gotten hard. Hadn’t realised anyone had noticed. 

“Fuck, Marly,” he said, “why are you staring at my dick?” 

Marly laughed, loud and gruff. Sometimes Ilya thought maybe he really was part bear. “Because you,” he said, still laughing, not at all put out by the accusation. “Were standing right in front of where I was sitting on the bench, glaring at the locker room TV and getting a hardy inches from my fucking face.” 

Okay, so, boo to Ilya. Whatever. 

“So sorry you had to see what a big cock looks like,” Ilya sniffed. 

“Please,” Marly snorted, “I know you’ve looked at my cock, we both know I know what a big cock looks like.” 

“This sounds like beginning of gay porno,” Ilya said, sprawled back in his chair and kicked one leg up to kick Marly’s thigh. “Next we will be saying we should compare, and then we would have to get hard so we can see who is bigger while hard as well.” 

Marly laughed again, swatted Ilya’s foot. “Okay, bro,” he said, “you don’t want to talk about Jane. Whatever. You owe me, though, bringing up Theresa like that.”

“I am sorry for reminding you of heartache,” Ilya said, really meant it even as his voice came out sarcastic. “I make it up to you. Hmm, what would gay porno me, do here? Probably say I make it up to you with blowjob, yes?” 

“Yeah probably,” Marly grinned, “pity for me we aren’t in a gay porno, haven’t got a good blowie for a while.” 

“So sad,” Ilya said. “You will have to live vicariously through your gay porno self, he is getting such good blowie. I bet gay porno me would be deepthroating gay porno you.” 

Okay, so. Probably too much. But also, Ilya hadn’t really tried to see if he would get hard with another guy, because maybe that was the problem? Maybe he had always thought he was more attracted to women than men, but it was just because it was easier to be with women, and now his body was making him make up for how few men he’d been with in comparison to women? And Marly was one of his best friends, yes, but so was Svetlana, and it was fine to get hard about how hot your best friends were. Ilya had, before, about Marly. Mostly back when they were still just teammates, and Ilya thought of him as Marlow. What he was saying right now was hot, and Ilya was sure that normally he would be finding it very hot, even though Marly was only playing along for giggle shits or whatever. But right now? Nope. Soft fucking dick. Not even the idea of big bear gay porno Marly was doing it for him. 

“Jesus,” Marly groaned, “okay, I think I need to get laid because that should not turn me on. Shut your fucking cursed mouth, I have no interest in having to go through some confusing late in life realisation about myself just because you’re pissed you can’t get hard for anyone except for your very casual hook up.” 

Ilya frowned down at his lap. It was Shane that had the cursed mouth. Cursing his dick. No, bewitching it. That was probably better word for it. 

“Seriously, bro,” Marly said when Ilya didn’t respond, just kept glaring at his useless cock. “It’s all good. Stuff like this happens. You want her, and your body knows it.” 

-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-[PHOTO ATTACHMENT] (A mirror photo of Shane, lower back and ass.
He’s bending over just enough to show the base of the plug between his
cheeks, and there’s just enough of the shirt he’s wearing visible to see the Bears’ logo)

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

[OUTGOING CALL]-

[CALL ENDED 0 MINUTES 0 SECONDS]-

holy fuck sjane pick phone up-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Say please :)

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

brat-

please, baby, please pick up phone-

[OUTGOING CALL]-

-

“You have to delete the photo after,” Shane panted, and for some reason this very unsexy, practical demand made Ilya’s cock fucking kick as he tried to push his pants down. “Promise.” 

“Yes, I promise, fuck,” Ilya had managed to get his pants down enough to get his hand around his cock, didn’t stroke it right away, gripped it tight around the base in an effort to cool down before he blew it. “Fuck, Shane, is so fucking hot. You just did this? Thinking of me?”

“Looked at your new tip pic,” Shane replied, sounded a little self-defensive, but mostly just turned on. “Kept thinking about it in me, so I started to - to jerk off, but I needed more, so I - I needed more, so I got the plug. Took forever, but I wanted to - to imagine you pulling it out and fucking in to me again while I’m g-gaping, fuck -” 

“Fuck, you are so needy,” Ilya hissed, squeezed himself tighter. He was lying sprawled on his couch, had been watching tape like a good captain, but this was more important. It was basically just liaising with a fellow captain. “What if I didn’t fuck you with my cock? I pull the plug out and just make you gape, watch your hole want me.” 

“Shit,” Shane moaned, the word trailing long and pitiful. “No, please, I need you in me-”

“Need me, yes, da,” Ilya breathed, rolled his hips even though he was still just gripping himself almost painfully tight. “But do you deserve my cock? All I am seeing right now is a brat who is slutting themself out. Taking sexy photo to beg for my attention, hm?” 

Instead of pointing out that Ilya, had in fact, been the one who had pleaded for the phone call, Shane just whined, liquid heat, the edge of tears in the noise overshadowed by the need in it. 

“You don’t want me?”

“Fuck,” Ilya growled, threw his head back against the arm of the couch. “Of course I fucking want you, is not point. Is hard for me, too, Hollander-” he took a strangled breath in, carried on with his voice gritty with wanting. “I cannot give reward to slutty attention whore, mm? I only fuck good boys.” 

“I’ll be good,” Shane promised, “please, tell me how to be good for you and I’ll do it.” 

“Mm, I do not know,” Ilya hedged, allowed himself one full stroke of his dick, rubbing his thumb over the head, pink and wet, imagined Shane’s tongue on it, licking at his slit, dipping into the tight fold of foreskin. Fuck. “How could you be good, hm? Already fucked yourself open on your plug, whoring self out in Bears’ shirt. You want Bears to see? See how you love cock so much you humiliate yourself for it?” 

“Fuck,” Shane cried, voice muffled, “no - I don’t - no. Yes. Please. If that’s what - what you want - if that’s - I’ll be good -” 

Fuck he sounded so out of it, so turned on just by the plug in his ass and Ilya’s voice in his ear. It felt almost irresponsible to do this while he couldn’t be there in person to bring Shane back to earth, to wipe him clean, to put his fingers in his hole so he didn’t feel empty while he came down. 

“Yes?” Ilya asked, began a slow rhythm with his hand, tight around his base then loose, then a hard squeeze, and repeat. “You would let me show you off? I take you in my locker room, maybe, let everyone see?” 

“Yeah,” Shane whispered. “See how much I need it.” 

“You do need it,” Ilya replied, pictured Shane on his knees, maybe on the logo mat in the locker room, face pressed into it, ass full of his plug and dripping with lube. “Everyone would know you like being a hole for me. When you score goals against them they will still know you would go face down on floor so I can fill you up-” 

A noise like a sob, wet and breathy, then; “please-”

“I would pull plug out in front of them,” Ilya said, slow, listening to each small hiccupping noise he could hear from Shane, cataloguing them. “Show off how open you are, how wet you are, like best girl. They would all want to fuck you, want to touch you and taste you.” 

“No,” Shane whispered.

“No,” Ilya agreed, “they can look, but I am only one who gets to feel you, who gets to fuck you and make you come crying and moaning on my cock -” 

Shane, crying and moaning, not on his cock, made some formless noise of agreement, and Ilya sped his own hand up. Wanted to see Shane. Wanted to see his face. Wanted to kiss him and taste him and swallow him down. 

“Just for me,” he growled, “fuck, Shane, say just for me.” 

“Just for you,” Shane panted, “I’m only a slut for you, I’m your slut.” 

Ilya’s stomach muscles nearly cramped when he came, his whole body tense and shaking, and he took a few long moments before he could function again. Shane was still breathing in his ear. 

“Okay?” Shane asked. 

“You are so hot,” Ilya replied, words feeling loose and rubbery in his mouth. “So hot. You came, yes?” 

“Yeah,” Shane said, laughed a little, “I, uh, was just like, rocking on the plug. It’s still in me.” 

“Yes?” Ilya wanted to fucking lick it. Wanted to smack it. Wanted to press on it and make Shane let out little stuttery noises of overwhelmed arousal. “Was not enough for you?” 

“No,” Shane replied, “it’s never enough when you’re not here.” 

“Fuck,” Ilya shut his eyes tight, would scrub his hand over his face, but his hand was covered in jizz. “You are killing me, Hollander.” 

“Sorry,” Shane said, not sounding sorry at all. Then, in a much too unsure voice for everything that had just happened; “You liked it?” 

“Bohze moy,” Ilya groaned, “lyubimyy, did I like? Yes, I liked so much I could die and be happy now. I will go out in world and remember this call and my dick will get so hard and I will be arrested for it, and I would be okay with this because I would get to think about this call, still.” 

“You’re ridiculous,” Shane huffed, sounded pleased. “Don’t die or get arrested, I still want you to actually fuck me.” 

“There are such things as cogenial visits in prisons,” Ilya teased, and Shane laughed just how he hoped he would. 

“Conjugal, I think,” Shane corrected him. “And we’d have to be married. Don’t get arrested.” 

“Fine, fine,” Ilya groaned, “so controlling of me, Hollander.” 

“And delete the photo,” Shane added, “speaking of controlling. Like, fully delete it.” 

“I will, jesus,” Ilya rolled his eyes, “not that is obvious to anyone else who is of. Just a sexy ass in a Bears’ shirt.” 

“Rozanov.” 

“I am deleting!” 

-

You rated Jane

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

sexy sexy sexy sexy fucking sexy. wish we had video called. wish you sent more photos. wish i could kiss you and fuck you and eat you out is like i am starving for your hole. come to boston and then come in boston and i will come in you. 

PHOTO ATTACHED

(A photo showing Ilya lying on the couch, chin to cock in view, come spattered over his abs, and chest, and a small amount on his chin. His tongue is dipped down as if in the process of licking it off his chin.)

-

Jane has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

The lower orgasm score isn’t your fault, so has no bearing on the stars rating. I loved how much you wanted me. Your fucking mouth and mind are so filthy and it makes me feel fucking depraved. I don’t know why I like it so much. It’s like pain into pleasure, like a hard massage, or taking your cock when I’m not stretched all the way. Just so you know, I will never wear the shirt in any lockerroom, this is fantasy only. I liked that even in the fantasy it was only you touching me.

PHOTO ATTACHED

(The plug, lying on a crumpled towel on a bedspread. It’s shiny with lube, and there are wet spots on the towel.)

Chapter 6: SHANE

Chapter Notes

hello we have reached the shane spiral staircase
(also if you read last chapter before there were images, hey, there are images now :))

Over his life Shane had gotten very good at denying himself. He had practiced it almost as much as he had practiced hockey, really, the two of them going hand in hand. Hockey was the reason and the reward for so much of what he denied himself, like sleep ins, and dessert, and privacy. He would probably  have always denied himself some of it anyway, even if he didn’t have hockey. Knew it was just the way his brain was, the need to be better always. He would almost certainly always have restricted himself to some type of diet and work out routine in which he wouldn’t always get to eat how he wanted, or to rest or he dreamed about. And he knew, to a painful extent, that he would have always denied himself the things Ilya was giving him. 

It wasn’t because he didn’t think his parents would be…okay with it. Especially if he wasn’t part of an infamously homophobic organisation. It was just that he knew he was different anyway, and that if he didn’t have his skill in hockey to at least make him different in a good way, an outstanding way rather than an abnormal way, he didn’t want to make it worse. 

It wasn’t even just the whole… maybe being possibly gay thing. He was still holding out a tiny piece of hope that there was, somewhere, some woman who he could force attraction to. Who he could be with and not want to kill himself about. Not that that was something he would do if he was married to a woman, obviously, that was just dramatising. 

No, the harder thing here, was the fact that he knew the way he wanted sex was weird. And he knew people did stuff like it in porn, he had done some research, and he had watched videos, and lurked on a few forums, but - but it was different in real life. He didn’t know if anyone really felt like that outside of a video, or a computer screen. He did know it was…dirty. Perverted. That it was the kind of sex that even if he was having it with a woman his teammates would still think it was gay, or wrong, or disgusting. He knew that they would call Hayden a fairy if they caught a single whiff of Jacki wanting him in lingerie. He knew they had spent an entire week chirping about a hockey player in the AHL because he had tweeted about liking being pegged, or something. He knew some of his teammates thought it was even kind of gay to eat their girlfriends out. 

Shane didn’t want to be weird. He didn’t want to be subversive. He didn’t want to be so scared all the fucking time that it was obvious on his face, in the way he moved. 

It was different for Ilya. For what he wanted. Because it made sense, to want to be in charge, in control. That was normal. Normal men wanted that kind of thing. It probably felt even better, made him feel stronger, to be getting this type of control over another man like Shane. Having Shane - who knew he could hold his own in a physical fight with Ilya, even if he wasn’t a fighter - just, well, submit to him. Shane liked it. The power it gave Ilya. But that wasn’t normal, surely. 

It was one of the things he was supposed to be denying himself. That he had failed so badly at denying himself. He was supposed to be ignoring the parts of him that lit up and went hazy with happiness and relief, and the lust that pooled almost painful in his guts when he thought too long about Ilya’s hands. He had managed to keep it mostly turned off, at the beginning, when he and Ilya first started hooking up. Kept it secluded to their few meetings, and a sparse scattering of texts. Managed to keep his eyes away from other men. Didn’t touch himself much if he couldn’t keep his mind from straying. 

But now, he was so bad at denying himself any of it that he was looking at flights to Boston just because the weeks left until the next Montreal vs Boston game felt too long, and he wanted so badly that it felt like a need, like going without Ilya physically touching him was actually damaging him somehow. That was probably bad. Like an addiction. Like he was in withdrawal. Feeling so bad without something meant it was bad for you, surely. He was still looking at flights, though. 

-

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Do you have this kind of sex with girls?-
Like. Rough. Demeaning.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-are you being jealous?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

No. I’m just curious.-

Feels like it would probably be like. Misogynistic-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-ugh

-you know it is still early in morning?

-making me have to look up words

-???

-how would this be sexist?? is sexy.

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I mean. Like. I don’t know.-

Feels disrespectful.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-you are so dumb

-i am calling sports news

-telling them you have no brain

-maybe i call league and say you have

suffered too many concussions

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Shut the fuck up.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-sometimes people like to be disrespected.

-you like it.

-yes?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

No.-

I mean, fuck. Yes.-

But not like. In real life.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-sorry i did not realise sex was video game
-yes. you like, so do other people sometimes.

-girls are other people. 

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

So you do do it with them?-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-no.

-i do not do with one night stands

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I was a one night stand in the beginning.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-mmmm yes but was different with you

-you wanted sooooo bad to be told what
to do ;))))))

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Fuck off.-

It’s not funny.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-is a little funny

-okay

-baby, you were on your knees so quick i
did not know what to do with you

-i was only teasing you a little and you

were so mad and horny and good

-it was so sexy

-dont be upset

-are you for real jealous?

-you want list of everyone i have ever
fucked?

-list of what i have done with others?

-baby

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

[SEEN]-

-

“Jesus,” Hayden groaned, crashed right into Shane rather than turning in to a stop. “Fuck, Shane, what the hell is going on?” 

What the hell was going on was practice. Normal practice. He pushed Hayden away enough that they weren’t smushed together, and gripped him by the shoulders, turning him back around. 

“Practice,” he said, “so we improve our performance.” 

A few metres away, Anderson slowly lay on the ice, dropping to his knees and then going down on his stomach, groaning loudly. Marchy skated a shallow circle around him, then tripped over Anders’ dropped stick, and went down as well. 

“Capitaine,” JJ called, “whatever it is we did, we are sorry! We surrender!” 

Ah. Okay. 

“I’m pushing too hard?” Shane asked, and Hayden laughed as he swiveled back to facing Shane, and dropped his arm over his shoulders. 

“Yeah, bud,” he said, breathless. “Bouch is in the bathroom throwing up.” 

“Oh,” Shane frowned. “I thought he just really needed a piss.” 

“Maybe both,” Hayden offered with a shrug. “Can I suggest, as your friend and also alternate, that maybe we move on to warm downs?” 

“Please, captain!” Someone yelled, possibly Drapeau. 

“Jeeze, yeah. Yes,” Shane ducked out from under Hayden’s arm and turned in a tight circle to see his apparently dying team. “Warm downs,” he called, his stomach biting at him. “Sorry for the hell trials. You guys did good. Until you started dropping,” he added, directing this at the sad bodies of Anders and Marchy still on the ground. “Official practice is over. See you tomorrow.” 

He turned and skated to the gate before anyone could try and talk to him. Headed straight to the locker room, pulling his gear off as he went. Fuck. He’d just. Got caught in his head. Kept pushing. Not noticing. Knew he could do more so made them do more too. Stupid. Bad leadership. He was lucky they didn’t mutiny.

-

Hayden caught up to him in the shower, broke the cardinal rule of locker rooms, and basically stepped into Shane’s own shower stream. 

“Jesus, Hayd,” Shane mumbled, his eyes flicking to Hayden’s face and then back up to the wall. “Get your own shower.” 

He could see in his peripheral Hayden crossing his arms. Hayden had turned on the shower next to his, but it was running basically unhindered right down the drain. How was Hayden not scared someone was going to call him gay? How could he be this close to Shane in the shower, both of them naked, nearly touching, and not have an alarm going off in his head?

“Has something happened with Lily?” Hayden asked, quiet enough that Shane could barely hear him over the rattle of the showers. 

“No,” Shane said, much too quickly. Kept his gaze firmly away from Hayden. 

“Just,” Hayden shrugged, “if something’s wrong. With Lily, or with something else. You can talk to me about it, yeah? You don’t need to resort to killing the team.” 

“If extra cardio kills the team, maybe they should die,” Shane snapped. Only regretted it a little. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to take it out on them. Sorry for fucking pushing.” 

“Shane,” Hayden said, and he had laughed at first, but didn’t sound like he still thought it was funny. “Buddy. What’s going on?” 

Nothing was going on. Except that Shane was a fundamentally wrong person. That if you pushed him at all he would spill out on the ice like a bag of rubbish. That he wanted so much and knew he shouldn’t and couldn’t have what he wanted. That if his team knew him at all, they would hate him. 

He shook his head, flinched when Hayden touched his shoulder, found himself stepping fully away, out of the warm spray as if Hayden had pushed him. 

He could feel Hayden staring at him, but couldn’t bring himself to look back. Swallowed. Stepped back into his shower. He just had to rinse off a bit more and then he could get dressed and go home. 

“Bud,” Hayden said, and now he sounded actually concerned, fuck Shane’s entire life. “Are you okay?” 

“Fine,” Shane gritted out. “Look. Sorry. I’m just. I’m just a bit on edge. It’s nothing. I’m fine.” 

“Doesn’t sound fine,” Hayden pushed, “doesn’t look fine. You just - I don’t even know, man. Something is wrong.” 

“Can you just leave it?” Shane asked, knew his voice sounded brittle. 

“Come for dinner?” Hayden asked. “Tonight? Or tomorrow. Just - whatever it is that’s going on, you don’t have to do it alone.” 

Shane hated this entire conversation. Their teammates were trickling in to the shower room, and had been this whole time. It felt too close to revealing. Felt too close to everything. He was naked, and it felt like it wouldn’t take much more to strip him further, peeling his skin and showing his lack of guts, his fears and wants. His innate ugliness. 

“Maybe tomorrow,” he said, flat. Cut the shower off, grabbed for his towel, left. 

-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-you are angry at me

-is not fair when you do not say why

-how am i supposed to fix like this?

-i would say sorry for being asshole but
i know you like when i am asshole

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

[SEEN]-

[JANE IS TYPING]-

[JANE IS TYPING]-

[JANE IS TYPING]-

[SEEN]-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-fuck jane

-

Shane could get a plane ticket to Boston and back again for this evening and tonight, and it would give him enough time to get to Ilya’s house, break this off with him, and get back to the airport. 

He knew this was unfeasible. Not the timing of it, that would be fine, but him actually going through with breaking anything off. He wanted it too much. He liked Ilya too much. If he got into touching distance he would lose his resolve and touch, and then that would be it. He would miss his flight home as well. 

He didn’t know what to do. It felt like he had reached a breaking point he hadn’t known existed, previously. Had wanted so badly that it revealed to him the precipice he was on. If he didn’t stop now, he didn’t think he would ever be able to stop. If he didn’t stop, he would never be able to perform the amount of normality that he had planned for. It was so clear in his mind, what he had to do to be the man he was supposed to be. 

He would keep leading his team to victories. They would win cups, and then more cups. He would meet a nice, respectable woman. They would get married. They would have one or two children. His parents would get to be grandparents, would get payout for all the work they had put in raising him. Hopefully his children would be more normal than him. He would coach, maybe, or get a job related to hockey management, because he hated the idea of retiring. He would be so normal, and his parents would be happy with him, and the world would remember him as a hockey star and nothing else. 

He couldn’t do any of that unless he started denying himself Ilya. Denying the want. Couldn’t. It was bleeding through, over everything. What would his life look like now if he broke it off? He wouldn’t be able to touch himself without thinking about ilya, so he would just have to not do that. He would have to consciously not text Ilya when he saw something funny, or some hockey related bullshit, so he would probably have to block him and delete his number. He would still have to see Ilya on ice. Wouldn’t be able to get all the way away. How stupid and fucked up it was that he was like this. That he had put himself in this position where both options he had felt like he was fucking up if he took them. Like he was killing himself one way and ruining himself the other. Maybe the worst thing of all was that he wanted Ilya to tell him what to do. Like he wasn’t a fully grown man, like he wasn’t the captain of an NHL team, like he wasn’t lauded for his quick thinking on ice. 

He wasn’t on ice, was the problem. And when it came to Ilya, Ilya had always been the one in charge. Ilya pursuing him. Kissing him. Goading him. Ignoring him. Letting him back in. He didn’t want Ilya to be the one to end it, but maybe that would be the only way it could happen. 

-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-shane

-

It would be so easy to give in. The way Ilya was texting him, like he cared, like Shane was worth chasing after like this. It felt good and bad in even helpings. A warmth in his stomach for being wanted and a pain in his chest for not replying. For the want he felt in return. 

He probably would have given in to it. Made the choice then and there to keep it. But JJ called him with an invitation to a party that he thought Shane would actually like, and it would get his mind off whatever was happening in it, and maybe he’d have enough fun to go easy on the team tomorrow? And Shane had said yes, because he felt bad for being mean to his team, and he felt bad for never going out, and he felt bad about who he was, so maybe he could pretend to be someone else for a night. 

-

It took him about fifteen minutes of being at the party to determine that he could not be someone else for the night. There were too many people, too many bodies, too much alcohol and grating music, and conversations trying to bring him in and make him cut loose. He escaped upstairs, where it was still technically party territory, but less people were up here. Mostly just a few quieter conversations, fancier drinks held in hands, a little swaying to the music. Up here, the club - or was it a bar? Or restaurant? - was serving some food as well, rather than just the drinks that were being poured out downstairs, and Shane grabbed a menu as an excuse to slide into a booth. 

A booth that was not as empty as he had thought.

It was easier than he had ever expected, talking to a movie star. Maybe it was because he felt a little like he knew her already, having seen her in so many movies on his many, many flights, and she felt the same way, being a hockey fan. Or maybe she was just charismatic enough to make any conversation enjoyable. Or maybe Shane had accidentally stumbled upon someone who he could choose to have a future with. He was even willing to eat some of her fries. 

-

If he had thought any further than relief, he would have considered the celebrity aspect, and been dreading the photos. As it was, he hadn’t even thought to imagine there would be any until he walked into the locker room the next morning and was greeted by a chorus of impressed team mates, and phones open to pap shots of him and Rose talking, leaving the party together, her kissing his cheek goodbye. 

When he had gotten home last night he had forbidden himself from looking to see if he had any new texts from Ilya, but he’d checked when he’d woken up this morning, and found none. 

“Ayy, Capitaine,” JJ cheered, wrapped his arm tight around Shane’s shoulders and jostled him. “See? I told you you would have a good time! Rose Landry? Legendary pull!”

“I didn’t pull anyone,” Shane said, grateful when JJ unwrapped from him to bound over to his own stall and change. “We were just chatting last night.” 

“Just chatting,” Mitty laughed, “we all saw those pics, cap, you looked pretty cosy!” 

They had been talking, was all, shoulder to shoulder so they could hear each other better when the room got louder. He shrugged. 

“So I guess Lily is dust, huh?” Anders asked, thumping Shane’s shoulder as he walked past. “You a flower man, Hollander?” 

So stupid. He shook his head. Focused on changing out. 

Hayden sidled up to him, pulling his compression shirt on and eying him. “Dinner tonight?” He asked. “Jacki has a million questions about Rose. And about Lily.” 

“I’m, uh,” he said, “having dinner with Rose tonight. Sorry. Dinner tomorrow?” 

His entire team was listening in, apparently, because they all whooped at this, hollering over each other in a discordant echo. Everyone except for Hayden, who looked tightly wound and cautious, but nodded. 

“Okay,” he said. “I’m holding you to it, bud.” 

“Okay,” Shane echoed. 

-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-wow

-

Rose had invited him to a restaurant he hadn’t been to before, but the menu looked promising, and she had booked them a private room, so that was nice. He didn’t think she minded the public scrutiny as much as he did, but maybe she was just better at faking it. 

They had arrived at about the same time, and she had kissed him on the cheek again before looping her arm through his and leading him inside. There had been a few people on the street, some photos taken, but nothing big. He thought probably by the time they left that evening there would be some real photographers waiting, but that was a problem for later. 

The private room was just blocked off from the rest of the restaurant by fancy looking screens and also a large aquarium, so it wasn’t fully private, but at least it would deter most people, and keep their conversation to themselves. 

“I love a big aquarium,” Rose told him as they sat down, “you know that scene in Romeo and Juliet? The Baz Luhrman one? Where Juliet and Romeo see each other through the water? I love that scene so much.” 

“Um,” Shane said, smiled at her, “I don’t think I’ve seen it, actually. I mean, I know the story, just - yeah.” 

She shrugged, “it’s a beautiful movie - follows the original script like, I think word for word? But it’s in a modern setting. They call their guns swords. I haven’t watched it in ages. Maybe we could watch it together at some point?”

“Sounds nice,” Shane said, “sure. How was your day?” 

“Ugh,” Rose rolled her eyes, she had reached for the menu on the table but hadn’t done more than fiddle with the edge of it. “Filming was really boring today - apparently the shots we took yesterday had the lighting wrong, so we were like, re-blocking, and re-shooting, just. Not fun. How was practice?” 

“Oh,” Shane wasn’t sure how his face should be looking, so he settled on a mild grimace. “That - yeah, sounds a bit boring. Kind of sounds like some days of practice we have, where we’re basically like - blocking? Setting up new play lay outs and having to go through positions over and over again because someone’ll keep messing up where they’re supposed to be.” 

“So annoying,” Rose agreed, shaking her head. “I get it can throw you off, having your blocking change, but like, get with the times? I hate it most when it’s me who keeps forgetting the change, last year I had to change literally one word and I kept saying the original. Felt like I was going to burn to death with embarrassment!” 

Shane laughed a little at that, and she laughed as well. “Yeah,” he agreed, “It’s like, hello my body? Hello my brain? Pretty sure I told you what to do, so why are you fucking this up for me?” 

“Exactly!” Rose grinned at him. “I’ll never understand how we can be our brains and still have so much disconnect between what we mean to do and what we actually do.” 

“Sometimes it really does feel like I’m in a badly designed, like, robot, sitting at the control panels, but the buttons don’t always work,” Shane said, like a stupid idiot. “Like, I’m not even my brain, let alone my body, just something inside it.” 

Rose nodded agreeably, but her amused expression dimmed slightly. “Yeah,” she said. Cleared her throat. “If it helps,” she said, “you don’t seem like a robot, let alone a badly designed one.” 

“Ah,” Shane said, his words drying up only now he’d said a whole bunch of dumb ones. 

“I mean,” Rose continued, her voice soft and level, “the way you are on ice? It’s incredible. No bad design there. And the way you look? Ten out of ten stars from me, I’ll tell you that.” 

“Ha,” Shane said. Ten stars felt like too many stars. “Well I - have you looked at the menu? I saw they do a really nice vegetable medley with a spicy honey.” 

Rose looked, for a long moment, like she wasn’t going to accept this change in topic, but then she picked up her menu and looked at it. “I do like a spiced honey,” she said, “but I have been dying for some red meat.” 

She got a steak and some fancy looking potatoes, he got his veggie medley, and they got a bottle of wine for the table, which turned into two bottles of wine for the table much quicker than he had expected. 

It was nice wine, and he liked it when he was eating. It was the same kind his mum got when they had wine with dinner, and he liked the taste. Kept letting his glass be refilled by the servers, and then kept drinking it because he was having fun talking and drinking with Rose. They talked about more movies, and then about hockey - professional and otherwise. Her brothers had played, in fact he younger one still did, had dreams of going pro. They talked about levels of fame, and about performance diets, and stage fright. 

She persuaded him into ordering a dessert to share, said it didn’t count when they shared it, and smiled so sweetly that he agreed. They ordered a third bottle of wine. 

-

“No I swear, it was so embarrassing! And like, I know it wasn’t my fault - how this kid got through hair and makeup without anyone catching that he had nits, y’know - but then I felt like patient zero on set because I was the only one who had been close enough to catch them from the kid, so it was me that passed them on to - it ended up being thirteen members of the crew all up. We had a day that was just everyone getting treated, even the people who didn’t have them, just to be safe.” 

Shane had his elbows on the table, head in his hands, laughing into them in an effort to keep quiet as Rose dramatised to him, giggling all the while. They still had a little of the dessert left, both of their mini forks resting on the edges of the plate. Half the bottle of wine gone. He could feel he was flushed with it, the alcohol and the laughter, but didn’t really care. Rose was flushed too, grinning, eyes sparkling. He could imagine kissing her, right now, just to see if she tasted like laughter. 

“I think I would have died,” he managed to say eventually, Rose still giggling in front of him, “I mean, obviously like, not your fault. It just feels so - so humiliating?” 

“Cringe, even,” Rose suggested. “It was awful. Okay, okay, it’s your turn.” 

“My turn what?” Shane asked, managed to lift his face from his hands, smiled at her. “I’m not getting lice to make you feel better about it, sorry.” 

She laughed, shook her head. “No, tell me an embarrassing story about you.” 

He paused, tried to think, “Um,” he said, “I tried to fight Scott Hunter once? That was pretty embarrassing.”

“Yeah it was,” she chirped, “you looked like a wet cat. But that doesn’t count, Shane! Something that’s not public knowledge. I want the real Shane.” 

She sounded so earnest, her smile so lovely. 

“I got sent a butt plug to my hotel with all my team mates there, and they tried to open the parcel,” he said, “and then made bets about what it was, afterwards.” 

Rose’s mouth fell open, and her laugh was so loud she clapped her hand over mouth immediately, eyes darting around. He laughed as well, at her astonishment, and her horror at how loudly she had laughed, and they both giggled mindlessly for a few moments before Rose got herself back together, put her hand on his hand on the table. 

“A butt plug,” she said, very serious sounding even as her lips twitched. 

“Yes,” he said. Should probably have not said anything, but he was feeling loose and silly, and she was smiling and not making him feel weird. What harm was there in this? 

“Did you buy it?” Rose asked, “Or was it sent by like, a fan?” 

“No,” Shane shook his head, rolled his eyes. “My - uh - it was - a friend in Boston. He thought it was funny.” 

She still smiled at him, but her eyebrows were raised, and her eyes looked too thoughtful for how much wine they’d drunk, and how silly they were being. 

“And was it funny?” She asked, and when he nodded and then shook his head, and nodded again, she asked; “And was it hot?” 

A curl of lust twined up Shane’s stomach, tinging the loose heat of the alcohol and burning up into his diaphragm until he was breathless for a quick moment. He nodded again, sucked in a breath. Rose also sucked in a breath, her eyes darting to his mouth, and then to his chest, and then to their hands, where he had moved to hold hers. 

She lowered her voice. “Did you wear it?” She asked, her eyes back on his face. “Did you use it on yourself? Or someone else?” 

“Myself,” he replied, throat suddenly feeling raw. He needed to shut the fuck up. He needed to have not drunk what amounted to probably nearly a bottle and a half of wine by himself. He needed to push down the heat inside him before it burnt him. “I like it.” 

She nodded, bit her lip. She glanced around them, and kept her voice low. “By yourself?” She asked, “Or with your… friend in Boston?” 

“With my friend,” Shane whispered back, like he had been slipped some science fiction fantasy truth potion bullshit. He was never drinking wine ever again. He felt like he was under a heat lamp, his skin crisping, his eyes burning. 

Rose had still been smiling, her hand still in his, but now her brows knit, and she glanced around again with more caution than she had before. She lifted her other hand to his cheek, and it wasn’t until her thumb swiped soft and careful under his eye that he realised a tear had slipped out. 

Her skin was so smooth, no calluses catching on his face, no roughness. 

“Let’s go,” Rose suggested. “Come back to my hotel room, we’ll have a hot drink, okay?” 

He nodded, and she wiped at his face again, quick and careful. Smiled at him. “Sorry,” he said, managed to make himself smile up at her, managed to keep his mouth from wobbling. “I don’t know what - it’s fine - I’m fine.” 

“Okay,” she said, “good. We can talk about how fine you are at the hotel, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he said. Stood up so he could do the gentlemanly thing and help her out of her chair. “Does my face look - am I going to be embarrassed about the paparazzi photos tomorrow?” 

She smiled up at him, shook her head. “Not as embarrassed as you were about the butt plug,” she whispered. “You look cute, just a little pink. What about me?” 

“Not as bad as nits,” he said, nodded solemnly. “You also look pink and cute.” 

-

Probably what he should have done here is get his own car and go home and then drown himself somehow in his shower. What he did instead was follow Rose into her car and to her hotel room and onto the soft couch there while she made them sachet hot chocolates from the room amenities. 

He was less wine drunk by the time they were both clutching their drinks, facing each other on the sofa. She had thrown a blanket over their laps, and he was warm, and happy, and so sad. 

“Feeling a bit better?” Rose asked, and he nodded. “I’m sorry,” she said then, “I didn’t mean to, like, push on a sensitive topic. I wouldn’t have if I thought - I’m sorry I made you cry.” 

“You didn’t,” Shane mumbled. His lips were a little numb, they always went a bit numb when he drank too much, but the heat of the hot chocolate was slowly bringing them back to normal. “I - and I’m so sorry for - I didn’t mean to be so pathetic. I don’t know what happened. Sorry.” 

“Babe, no,” Rose said quickly, swapping her mug into her other hand and reaching for him, taking his free hand in hers, her palm warm from the hot drink. “You weren’t pathetic. You were just upset. Do you want to tell me why?” 

No. Absolutely not. Except a little bit yes. He shook his head, chewed at his lip. Nodded. Shrugged. Felt the burn of tears biting at his lash line again. Hated himself. 

“You asked me out,” he said, voice wobbling a little. “And found me - um - attractive. And we were - we were having a good time, right?” 

“Right,” she said, squeezed his hand. “I like you, Shane. I’m not - not turned off by you having actual emotions, or anything.” 

“No,” he shook his head, desperately trying to figure out how to word any of this. “But I - would you want - if we were - if we dated. Would you be okay with dating a guy who - who liked that?” 

She stared at him for a long moment, then tipped her head a little to the side. “Yes,” she said. “I mean, butt stuff isn’t for me, really, but I wouldn’t mind doing butt stuff to someone else. If that was what my hypothetical boyfriend wanted. It would be hot.” 

He nodded. Cleared his throat. “What if your hypothetical boyfriend, uh, what if he - what if he didn’t. Didn’t want to, like, be the one doing stuff. To you. Only want stuff done to him.” 

She paused again, and he was pleased she was actually thinking about what he was saying, not just soothing him. “I don’t know,” she said. “I like being fucked. I think I would want to be fucked sometimes, not always be the one fucking, you know?” 

“Yeah,” he said, sniffed. Sipped at his drink. 

“I also think, maybe,” Rose said, her voice a little more unsure now. “Maybe if my hypothetical boyfriend was, like, not into doing anything to me, I might, well. I might want to ask him if it’s maybe because he isn’t into girls at all.” 

He nodded, swallowed at the lump in his throat that felt like it was a fur ball of apologies. 

“Maybe,” she continued, rubbed her thumb along his knuckles. “Maybe I would be worried for him. That he’s not asking for what he really wants. Or that he doesn’t know what he really wants.” 

“I know what I want,” Shane said, felt so stupidly heavy with his want all the time. 

“Yeah?” 

“I just can’t have it,” he shrugged. Took another sip of the hot chocolate. It wasn’t amazing, but it was still nice. Bursts of sugar and heat. Calming.

“Why not?” Rose asked. 

He wanted to tell her to drink her hot chocolate before it cooled down. That actually the hypotheticals had nothing to do with him at all. That it was a joke about liking things up the ass, and about his friend being a guy, and knowing what he wanted. 

He lifted his eyes to her face, felt so guilty, felt like the shame eating away inside of him was different to the shame he felt about his wants, usually. When he was with ashamed for being perverted with Ilya it transformed into something else when it came in contact with Ilya’s want. Something that still hurt, but felt good anyway. This shame right now felt like acid. Cold and biting, and unchanging. 

“Sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry, Rose. I didn’t - I really like you. I’ve had so much fun chatting with you, and hanging out, and I -” he cut himself off. Had to put his mug down so he could cover his face because he couldn’t bear to let go of her hand, like he would unmoor himself if he did. 

Face in hand, he continued; “I thought, maybe, because we got on, it was a sign that I could - could want something else, that I could be normal, and I didn’t think about how - how it would just feel like a lie. I don’t want to be a lie to you.” 

She put her mug down as well, pulled herself closer until they were wedged together, and wrapped her arm around him, kept holding tight to his hand. She was warm against him, and his brain tried pathetically to point out that he could feel her breasts, and wouldn’t he maybe like to try and find some interest in this? All he felt was affection, and fear. 

“I’m not mad,” Rose said, “I’m not even - okay, so maybe I’m a little miffed that every time I meet a really hot guy who’s also really nice and fun to talk to, they turn out to be gay - but I’m not actually upset about it, Shane. We’re literally on our first date, you didn’t lie to me, you didn’t make any commitments to me. We had fun together, you said, right? That wasn’t a lie, babe.” 

He let her rock him a little, closed his eyes and breathed. Was glad she let him hide. 

“I think,” he said, very quietly, “that I’m kind of. In love. With my friend in Boston. And it scares me, because we’re not supposed to be like that. I’m not supposed to - I just wanted to - to not let anyone down.” 

She held him tighter, sniffed hard. Her hair smelled nice, and he wondered absentmindedly what kind of products she used. He could smell green apple in it.

“What are you supposed to be like, then?” She asked. “If you’re not supposed to be in love? Who do you think you’re supposed to be?” 

“Not a mess,” he said. “Reliable. Clean image. The best hockey player.” 

She laughed a little at that, and then sighed. “Okay,” she said. “And what, you can’t be that and gay?” 

It was insane how easily she just said that. Gay. Not as a chirp, or an insult. Just as a describing word. Of him. 

“No,” he said. “Not in - not in the league. Not to the fans.” 

“What about to your family? Your friends?” 

“My - my parents worked so hard to get me where I am,” Shane said. “I don’t want to let them down. I don’t want - I want to make their lives easier. It won’t be easier if I’m gay, even though they would - I think - they would accept me. They would tell me it wasn’t a problem, but it still would be.” 

“There aren’t any out hockey players, in the league, right?” Rose asked. “But there must be other gay hockey players.” 

“There are,” Shane said, and then, “um. I mean, statistically.” 

They both paused, Shane buried his face further in his hand. 

“Okay,” she said. “Let’s go back to - to this guy you’re kind of in love with. The one who sent you a butt plug to your hotel, huh?” 

“Shut up,” Shane groaned. “There’s nothing to go back to. We hook up. It’s - it’s casual. We’re friends, kind of. But I know there’s nothing more for me, there. I know I can’t have the rest of what I want with him.” 

“What is it?” Rose asked. “The rest of what you want?” 

“I want to be his,” Shane said. And he was much too sober now to be saying this. “I want to have his name in my phone instead of a code name. I want to see him all the time. Every day. I want to be able to tell people about him, and brag about him, and point him out and say, that’s my - my - my boyfriend, and he chose me.” 

Stupidly, he started to cry again. If his team mates could see him now they would never follow him onto the ice again. If Ilya saw him now he’d see how pathetic Shane really was and would never want him again. 

Rose let him cry, was maybe crying a little as well, sniffing softly every so often. He let himself hold her, and she held him back. His team would eviscerate him for this, they would chirp him so badly for fumbling Rose Landry. 

“So,” Rose said eventually. “You were just going to - what? Pretend you don't feel what you do?”

“Yes,” Shane huffed. “I didn’t do a good job of it.” 

“No,” she agreed. “If all it takes is a few bottles of wine to break character, I don’t think you’ll make it in the acting industry.” 

“I wouldn’t,” he nodded. “I’d overanalyse all my roles and then end up just acting stiff and unnatural in all of them.” 

She laughed a little, kissed his cheek. “So we’re agreed,” she said, “you can’t pretend you don’t love him. Or at least, you can’t pretend you want to be with a woman.” 

He hesitated, and then nodded. 

“So you need a new plan,” she told him. “One that isn’t going to end up with you trying to - I don’t know - fit a square peg in a round hole.” 

“Yeah,” he said, “especially because I - I prefer to be the hole. Not the peg.” 

She laughed loudly. 

-

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

[OUTGOING CALL]-

[CALL ENDED 0 MINUTES O SECONDS]-

[OUTGOING CALL]-

[CALL ENDED 0 MINUTES 0 SECONDS]-

[OUTGOING CALL]-

-

“Jesus christ, Shane,” Ilya snapped, “what the fuck? You leave me on seen for two fucking days, and now you are calling me this late?”

“Sorry,” Shane mumbled. He had felt pretty sober at Rose’s hotel, but had quickly realised on the ride back to his place that he was still one and a half bottles of wine down. “Sorry, I know it’s late, I just - I just really wanted - needed - to hear you.” 

A pause, and then a slamming noise. Shuffling. Finally Ilya’s voice again. “Here is my voice,” he said, stiff and sharp. “You need anything more? Advice on how to fuck pussy?” 

Shane had flumped onto his bed, fully dressed, and made the call to Ilya without moving, and his face was squished into his pillow in such a way that his tears trickled right back into his eyes, stinging. 

“No,” he sniffed. “Fuck - Ilya - I’m gay.” 

Another pause, this time only filled with Ilya’s breathing. “Yes,” Ilya said eventually. “I know this.” 

“So I don’t want to fuck - to fuck pussy,” Shane said. “I barely ever even want to fuck ass. I just want you to fuck me.” 

“Fuck,” Ilya hissed, groaned loud and angry. “You are drunk?” 

“No. Tipsy. A bit.” 

“Tipsy a bit,” Ilya repeated. “You sound drunk, Hollander.” 

Shane whined, high in his throat. It felt pathetic, but he didn’t care right now. Let it burn him. “Ilya,” he said. 

“Shane,” Ilya said, “fuck. What do you need?” 

“You,” Shane said. “Mostly always, I think.” 

Ilya swore again, this time in Russian. Shane listened a little too happily. He liked the way Ilya’s voice changed when he spoke so fluidly like this. 

“You should go to sleep, Shane,” Ilya told him, quieter and softer. “Is late, and you are drunk.” 

“I wanted to text you back,” Shane mumbled. His eyes were closed, but the tears were still seeping out through his closed lids and grazing his cheeks. “I just didn’t know how.” 

“Same way you always do,” Ilya replied. “Nothing changed.” 

“I did,” Shane said. “I didn’t mean to. I just did.” 

“Oh?” Ilya sounded a little mean again, quietly mean. “Changed into idiot?” 

“Yeah.” 

A long pause. 

“I saw photos of you with Rose Landry tonight,” Ilya said. “Going into and leaving restaurant. You looked happy.”

“I had fun,” Shane said. 

“I saw photos of you both going to her hotel, too,” Ilya added. 

“Yeah. We had hot chocolate and cuddled on her couch,” Shane sniffed. “And talked about how gay I was.” 

Ilya bit out a laugh, “fuck,” he said, “why are you - Shane, you need to sleep.” 

“Yeah,” Shane agreed. “‘M really sleepy.” 

“Okay. So hang up phone. Get water and drink it and go to bed.” 

“If I hang up then you’re not here,” Shane pointed out, which was probably the only flaw in Ilya’s plan here. 

Ilya swore in Russian again. 

“Will you say the nice name?” Shane asked. “You call me it sometimes in bed. It sounds nice. Like you like me.” 

Nothing for a few long moments, Shane counting slow in his head up to ten fast hockey sticks. “Shane,” Ilya said, hoarse. “Moy lyubimyy, Ty menya ubivayesh'. Is lyubimyy right one?” 

“Mm,” Shane hummed. “Mm’yeah. There’s another one I like.” 

“Malysh,” Ilya said, “moy malysh, you are so sleepy, mm?” 

“Mmm.” 

“You are in bed already?” 

“Mhm.”

“You have water?” 

“Mm-mm.” 

“Okay, malysh, you are listening to me, yes?” 

“Mm.”

“Good. Get up, off bed. You are doing? Good. Go to kitchen -”

Shane followed the instructions, his eyes half open, brain muzzy with sleep, and wine, and the shots of vodka he and Rose had done for fun right before he left her hotel, he’d forgotten about that. “I’m’n kitchen,” he slurred. 

“Good boy,” Ilya said, and Shane’s stomach warmed. “Get big glass of water. You have? Okay, drink. All finished? No? Drink more. Finish cup. Finished? Good. Fill again, take back to bedroom for tomorrow.” 

Feeling a little like he was sloshing with each step, Shane made his way slowly back to his bedroom, the glass held aloft in one hand, his phone mashed to his face with the other. 

“Lyubimyy,” Ilya said, when Shane put the glass down on his bedside table with quite a loud clunk. “Are you in sleep clothes?” 

Shane looked down at himself. “No,” he said, “button up and jeans.” 

“Take them off,” Ilya instructed. This was good. This was very good. The warmth in Shane’s stomach bubbled into heat, and his cock twitched. 

“Fuck, okay,” he breathed, struggling to strip one handed. “Hang on,” he slurred, pulled the phone from his face and hit speaker before throwing it onto the bed so he could use both hands to undo his buttons. 

“Malysh,” Ilya said, “for sleep. Taking off for sleep. Okay?” 

Buttons were difficult sometimes. He got some of them undone, and then just tore the shirt off over his head before moving to his jeans. “Sleep,” he repeated, and then frowned, his jeans hitting the floor. “But I want you.” 

“Only sleep tonight,” Ilya said, sharp. “Get in bed.” 

Shane climbed into bed, pulling clumsily at his blankets, not even trying to avoid the sharp pang in his stomach, the shake of his lip. He was already pathetic and drunk and fucked up, who cared? Tipsy. Not drunk.

“Shane,” Ilya said after a long moment, and Shane fetched his phone from the blankets and brought it closer, putting it on his chest. “Moy lyubimyy,” Ilya sighed, when Shane didn’t respond verbally. “You are thinking I do not want you?” 

“I get it,” Shane mumbled, “I don’t want me either. I just forget, sometimes.”

“No, fuck,” Ilya said, swore more, maybe in English, maybe in Russian, it was incomprehensible noise against the rush in Shane’s ears as he tried to swallow down tears. “Yes, I want you,” Ilya said, rough, firm enough to break back through into Shane’s brain. “I want to be there now, holding you. I want to have been one to drink with you. I want to be inside you and kissing you. Say it, malysh. Say this; these words- you want me.” 

Shane choked on it. Had to clear his throat. “You want me,” he said. 

“Yes,” Ilya growled. “I want you. I want you to sleep, now, yes?” 

Sighing, Shane shook his head, just slightly. Sleep was going to get him whether he wanted it or not, his eyes were closed again, and even with his brief foray into horniness and then sadness about being unwanted, he was feeling all warm again. “Stay?” 

“Okay. No more talking, malysh. Sleep.” 

“Mhm,” Shane agreed, because humming wasn’t talking. 

-

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

[CALL ENDED 6 HOURS 54 MINUTES 12 SECONDS]-

-

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Sorry for the call that apparently went on until
nearly 7 in the morning.-

Hopefully most of it was me being asleep?-

I don’t really remember much more than the
fact that you told me to go to bed.-

Sorry.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-you were asleep before 1

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

And you stayed on the call the whole time?-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-you asked me to stay

-i was asleep most of it too

-call was finished when i woke up

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Yeah, my phone died. Lucky it’s my day off
because i did not wake at my usual time.-

Um. Did we have phone sex last night?-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-no. you were drunk. idiot 

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Right, yeah.Sorry again.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-so you and rose landry are friends, hm?

-you went back to her hotel to drink and
talk about boys?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I mean. Fuck. Kind of.-

She was really nice about it.-

Me being gay.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-so, not so sad she does not get to ride
your gay dick?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

No.-

Oh fuck.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-?

-what, you accidentally did fuck her?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

No. fuck. I just - I think I told her that
I prefer to be the hole. LIke, I said that.
With my mouth.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-lol

-you were very drunk, hm?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I didn’t think I was. It was just wine with dinner.-

But I guess it crept up on me.-

I guess there was also vodka, I think, at one point.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-wow, really living dangerous

-you really do not remember what we
talked about last night?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

No, sorry.-

What was I saying?-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-oh, just that i am the best hockey player in
whole wide world, and you think i am sooo
cool and hot and you want to have me fuck
you on centre ice like i am claiming you as
prize for being best at hockey.

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Fuck off-

I did not say any of that.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-how would you know?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I would remember if I said something as
untrue as that. It would be burned into my
brain. -

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-hmmm

-ok, you were very drunk and sleepy and i

was mostly telling you to drink water, and
take water to bed, and take clothes off.
-when i said take clothes off you did try
to have phone sex and i had to be very
brave and say no and make you get into

bed. so say thank you ilya for not letting
me get into bed in jeans and a button up.

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Thank you, Ilya.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-for?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Asshole.-

Thank you, Ilya, for not letting me get into
bed in jeans and a button up, and for getting me
to get and drink water, and for looking after me
even though I called you at midnight after not
replying to your messages.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-you may call me saint ilya. 

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I won’t.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-pah, no gratitude

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I got in my head, the other day. I shouldn’t have
ignored your messages.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-what was happening in your head

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I wanted to buy a plane ticket to Boston.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-and buying tickets make you anxious?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Because I miss you. And I didn’t want to wait
another couple of weeks until I see you again.-
I was literally considering buying tickets to get
fucked, and it made me spiral.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-you should have told me, so i could say to
buy tickets so i can fuck you. 

-is not so big deal. we are rich, is like
getting car to each others houses, just
takes a little longer and costs a lot more.
-you do not spiral about getting taxi.

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Sometimes I do.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-come to boston. day after tomorrow.

-i have game in evening but we could
have morning and night together.

-next day too if you skip practice

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

You really want me to come?-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-i always want to make you come ;)

-yes.

-this is something we spoke about last
night also. that i want you.

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Oh.-

I want you, too.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-so buy tickets. spiral if you want. i will fuck
you out of spiral after. make you feel good.

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Okay.-

Chapter End Notes

wooo sorry for no horny shenanigans in this chapter and also sorry to rose landry for once more having to be gay detector prime, i love you rose landry i think you should eat pussy.

Chapter 7: ILYA

Chapter Notes

A bit of a shorter chapter today, but there are pictures again :))))

By the time Ilya had gotten to practice, Shane had already sent him screenshots of his tickets. Tickets that meant Shane was choosing to skip a hockey practice. If this was anyone else, Ilya wouldn’t be crashing out about it. Most people would be perfectly willing and happy to skip a day of practice every so often, to take a day off work for fun. Shane was not most people, and in fact, Ilya knew - because Shane had won a half joking award for it - that Shane had not skipped a single practice for anything but medical exemptions. And even then, he was apparently often still there, just not participating. The hosts of the event had gone on about Shane’s dedication, his unwavering focus, his commitment, blah, blah, blah. All it had made Ilya think was that Shane needed more hobbies. Needed more friends. Needed something outside of hockey before he forgot he was anything outside of it. 

To be the thing Shane Hollander skipped practice for. To give up winning this prize for, because no matter how silly the prize, Shane loved winning it, Shane loved winning, full stop. 

Shane Hollander was skipping a practice day to spend one more day with Ilya because he wanted to. Because he wanted Ilya. Because - because Ilya had somehow tricked him into thinking he was worth it? It wasn’t that he didn’t want Shane to want him - it was becoming to be literally all he dreamed about. It was that the more Ilya realised how much he wanted Shane, the more he realised it was going to hurt. 

Shane wanted him because Ilya was fun, was good at sex, was good at hockey. Shane did not want him for the other parts of him. The parts of him that he tried to hide in Russia, and in parties, and in anger. He wanted more time with Shane, but he wasn’t even good at hiding the bad parts of him now over texting and calls. Having him in person with him for a couple of days was everything Ilya wanted and feared. At least, when Shane realised what else he got from the goodie bag of Ilya, Ilya would have gotten to have glutted himself on Shane first. 

-

“Roz,” Marlow said, “you have been actually worryingly insane this week.” 

Ilya did not think this was true. He fought through the towels he was lying in and pulled the finger at Marly.

“You’re in the fresh towels hamper,” Marly said, holding the lid to said hamper open. “You look like a stray cat who got caught in a storm and found its way in.” 

“You are like a poet,” Ilya mumbled. Marly took the towel off Ilya’s face, and Ilya grabbed another one and recovered himself. “Leave me to my cat business.” 

“Roz,” Marly said again. “I watched you come in here, stare at your phone, and then just…well, throw yourself in here. I’m not convinced it’s going to keep holding your weight.” 

“Don’t call me fat, Marly,” Ilya growled, “I am already having very weird life, I do not need new issues.” 

“No, what, this?” Marly pressed, removed Ilya’s new towel from his face. “I need you to talk to me, bro.”

Ilya blinked up at the ceiling, avoiding Marly’s looming face attempting to block his view. His phone buzzed underneath him, and he dug through towels to reach his pocket, glanced at the preview.

-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-I think I’m going to tell Hayden that I’m gay.

-

“Fuck,” he hissed, and then, because he did trust Marly, and he knew he had been weird, and he owed him for bringing up Theresa, he turned his phone around and showed him the text. 

Marly blinked at his phone for a few moments too long and ilya’s stomach pinched at him. 

“Fuck,” Marly said, “bro. Jane is a lesbian? That sucks for you. Real talk.” 

This was, actually perhaps, the best thing Marly could have said right now because it cut through the fug of fear Ilya had encased himself in and forced a bark of laughter out of him. 

“Holy fuck,” he wheezed, flung the back of his hand over his face, “no, this is good, Marly, don’t make this face at me, is very funny for me.” 

“Ilya,” Marly said, not sounding at all convinced. He was tugging at Ilya’s arms now, “get out of the hamper. C’mon. Come sit down with me.” 

Ilya let himself be heaved out of his towel burrow and to the bench. The rest of the team would be here soon, probably, and he hadn’t even changed out. 

“I’m really sorry, man,” Marly said again, once they were on the bench, Marly’s arm over Ilya’s shoulders. “I know you were really - really into her. It’s - it’s really good, though, I guess? That she feels safe to come out to you?” 

“No,” Ilya shook his head. Managed to claw the hysterical laughter back inside himself. “Marly. I love you -” 

“Love you too, man,” Marly said immediately, never one to miss this opportunity. 

“Jane is not a lesbian,” Ilya said, shook his head, exhaled heavily, “because Jane is a man -” 

“Ohhhh,” Marly said, with no sense of patience and an abundance of quick thinking in the wrong direction. “She - sorry, uh, he’s trans? Wow, I mean, even more - I mean - that is, like,” 

“Marly,” Ilya groaned, “please. Please let me finish what I am saying and stop trying to get boy scout sticker.” 

“It’s badges,” Marly said, “and I think actually they’re kind of homophobic? As an organisation? So they probably don’t have badges for -” 

“Marly, jesus.” 

“Right. Go on.” 

“Jane is code name. Would be fine if Jane was trans, I would not care. I like both. All. Not what I am saying. You have me going down stupid paths. Fuck. He is not. He is saying he is going to tell his friend he is gay. Which is not - which is good - is just. Makes thing much more real. Like I have just done, fuck, saying to you how I am not straight. I think maybe I am having issue with my mouth, it keeps saying things.” 

He managed to make his mouth stop saying things, clamped his hand over it to keep it that way. DIdn’t look at Marly. Because he felt stupid. He didn’t - he wasn’t like this. He didn’t panic, or spiral, he was good at keeping a hold on himself. He needed to be. Marly didn’t remove his arm from Ilya’s shoulders, kept a tight hold on him. 

“Okay,” he said. “Wow. I - okay. Do I - I’m supposed to say thank you for telling me, yeah?” 

“Jesus,” Ilya groaned, dropped his hand from his mouth. “This is not - not politeness test. Do not thank me.”

“Okay, yeah,” Marly grunted. “Jesus. I’m getting most of my knowledge about this kind of thing from the picture books my sister has for her kids.”

“This is weirdest conversation,” Ilya said, sighed. Dropped his head back heavy against Marly’s arm. 

“Yeah,” Marly agreed, easy. He reached over and ruffled Ilya’s hair, because he was an asshole. “Makes it more real, huh? So, you guys are making it official?” 

“No,” Ilya batted half heartedly at Marly’s hand. “Is not even - he is coming to stay. For a couple of days. We have not done more than overnighter before.” 

“Ohh,” Marly nodded, “okay, so, what. You’re scared you’re gonna fart in front of him and he’s going to think you’re disgusting and leave?” 

“No. Stupid. He is going to see I am mess, and not good, and be disgusted and leave.” 

“C’mon,” Marly said. Ilya did not know what he was supposed to be c’mon’ing about, so he simply glared. “Everyone’s a mess. You’re not special like that. I know you’re a fucking ball of, like, weirdness and shit, and I still fucking love you, man.” 

“Yes,” Ilya snapped, “because you are stupid. Because you are not sleeping with me. Because I am not wanting you to be everywhere I am forever.” 

“Oof,” Marly said. “Man. You’re really down bad for him, huh?” 

Ilya had forfeited the right to lie about this, with how stupid he had been already, so he just nodded. 

“Maybe give him a chance to show he’s down bad for you, too, yeah?” 

-

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

this is very brave of you-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-I can be brave, asshole.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

was not chirp-

why are you wanting to tell him now?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Oh, thanks then.

-I guess after I talked to Rose about a lot of
like, how I’ve been feeling about who I am,
I just don’t want to keep lying about
everything. 

-I’m not going to tell him about you, or like,
everything. I just want to be able to
feel like I can breathe.
-LIke I know at least one person knows
who I am, and is okay with it.

-At work, that is.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

yes, okay. is good reason-

rose landry is therapist now huh-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-God, I really did just tell her so much shit.
maybe she should be a therapist. 

-She’s been so nice. Texting me today to
check up one me.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

oh yes. very nice-

i told marlow i am bi-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Oh! Wow.

-How did that go?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

was mostly accident-

went fine. he is very ‘hip with kids’ i think
is how he said-

he says i am down bad for you-

you as in ‘jane’, he does not know who you are-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Good, I’m glad.

-Oh.

-And are you?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

i am about to run practice-

if i start saying now how down bad i am
for you and your ass and your pretty fucking
tits and cock i am going to lose all my blood
to my cock and will overbalance on ice.-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Fuck.

-A yes would have been fine.

-I have to start practice too.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

be careful not to think about my cock-

so you do not also overbalance-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-fuck off.

-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Fuck, how did you tell Marlow? I’m freaking
out about telling Hayd.

-I have to leave for his in an hour and I keep
going round in circles in my head.

-I don’t think it’s going to go badly, but if it
does, then what if he tells everyone else?

-I know my team won’t take it well. Some of
them maybe, but not as a hole.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

haha  hole-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Shut the fuck up oh my GOD

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

baby you will be fine-

Pike is boring mediocre player but seems like ok
person, yes?-

and if he takes news badly tell him i will come
and kill him in creative fun way i still have to
think of-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-I am not threatening him.

-How would I even do that?

-BTW if you don’t accept me, for some
reason Ilya Rozanov is going to come
over and fuck you up.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

say your lover will fuck him up-

pull out his guts and use as stick tape :)-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Ew don’t say lover

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

:((((((((((((((-

sooooooo sorry-

 say your fuck buddy-

your fuck buddy will slice him up like ham
and serve him on platter-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Stop thinking of ways to dismember Hayd.

-Like I said, I think it will go fine. 

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

ruin my fun-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Choose a new way to have fun.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

you leave in hour?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Yeah. I’m just chilling for a bit. 

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

[PHOTO ATTACHED] (photo is Ilya’s hard cock,
his hand around the base, thumb tugging
the foreskin down)-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Oh okay

-Good choice

-call?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

video call? want to see you-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-fuck ok

-[INCOMING VIDEO CALL]

-

Ilya sprawled out further on his bed, grabbed his lube, and pushed his pants further down before answering the call. All it had taken to get hard was to think about Shane’s mouth on him, it was stupid that that worked but Svetlana grinding on him did nothing. As soon as he answered the call, he flipped the camera.

Shane’s face filled his phone screen, a little too close, eyes wide. 

“Hi,” Shane said, blinked, and then tilted his phone back so it showed his head and shoulders as well. “I, um, fuck - I was expecting to see your face -” 

“You do not like this view?” Ilya asked, watched in his own camera view on screen as he stroked his cock slowly, hand wet with lube. 

“No, I - I like it,” Shane said, scoffed. His eyes were still wide, but so focused, staring at his phone. “It’s really hot.” 

“Mm,” Ilya lifted his phone slightly for a more top down view, pressed his pointer finger against the tip of his cock, pulled it away to show the pre-come slick stretch between fingertip and cock, and then pressed back in, rubbing over his slit, pulling his foreskin back to show off the cock-head more. Shane let out a shaky moan, and Ilya laughed, shaky as well. “You like so much, hm?” 

“Yeah,” Shane breathed. “I want it in my mouth.” 

“I know,” he stopped playing with the head, dropped his hand back to grip himself hard at the base to make his cock stand straight, presenting it to the camera. “He wants your mouth too. Wants to be buried in your throat, fucking into you.” 

“Yeah, please,” Shane said, looked entranced. “I’ll swallow everything, I want everything.” 

Ilya wanted everything as well, couldn’t figure out how to direct Shane so he could see his face and his cock. “Show me what you are doing,” he said, his voice sharp with need. “Let me see you touching yourself.” 

Shane fumbled with his phone for a few moments, and then the camera flipped, and Shane was showing him a view that ought to be on postcards, Wish you were Here* written across it. 

He was wearing his running shorts, pulled down only enough for him to have his dick out, his balls caught by the elasticated waistband. There were already wet drips on his shorts, and his hand on himself was frozen around his base, like he was waiting for instructions. 

“Malysh,” Ilya breathed, “what are you waiting for?” 

He watched as Shane’s cock twitched, like even hearing Ilya speak was enough to make it harder. Shane’s hand tensed around himself, but didn’t move. 

“You,” he said, like Ilya had hoped he would, like a fucking dream. “How do you - what do you want?” 

Ilya swore, jerked himself off roughly for a few strokes, watching Shane’s reactions to it in the twitching of his dick, the leak of his pre-come. 

“Put fingers in your mouth,” Ilya decided, voice rough. “Keep camera view on cock, for now. I want to see how turned on you still get without touching.” 

“Fuck,” Shane said, sounding at once pissed off and turned the fuck on. “Okay. Fuck.” He said something else, incoherent around his fingers.

A large part of Ilya wanted to see Shane’s face right now, to see how many fingers he’d pushed in, how deep he’d gone, how wet and slutty he looked. But Shane’s dick - fuck. Even without Shane’s hand holding it it was standing upright, leaning a little to one side, dripping onto Shane’s shorts. 

“Good, good, malysh,” Ilya said, “look how wet you are for me. So needy. So hard even without a hand on it, ideal’nyy, malysh, so good.” 

“Fuck,” Shane moaned, the word contorted and muffled but obvious enough. 

“I love to see it like this,” Ilya continued, began stroking himself faster, pumping his hips up into his hand. “So wanting, so useless, hm? Does not need to be touched, I fuck my cock into your mouth and is enough. You can come just like this, mouth full, yes?” 

A muffled affirmation, Shane’s breathing sounded wet and sloppy, and Ilya could imagine him so easily, drooling around his fingers, eyes fixed on his phone screen. Would he be watching his cock as well, or just Ilya’s? 

“Maybe I won’t touch your needy cock at all, hm?” Ilya panted, “When you are here. I make you come only with your ass and your tits and your mouth? Will tease him, run my fingers down your beautiful tummy, suck at your thighs, only ever touch him with breath.” 

Nothing coherent from Shane, except for pleasure, moaning and panting while his cock twitched on camera, pink and hard and so wet. 

“Maybe after, when he is all spent,” Ilya continued, wanting, wanting, wanting, “I take him in my mouth while he is soft, yes? Soft and so sensitive, and I clean him with my tongue, suck you until you are coming again even when you thought you were empty-” 

Shane bit out a loud noise, pained and heated, and on screen, Ilya watched as Shane came, his cock kicking up against his stomach, smearing come over his skin and his shorts while Shane moaned in the background. 

“Fuck,” Ilya groaned, couldn’t believe it, didn’t want to miss a single moment of it, tightened his grip on himself and came as well, forcing his eyes to stay open and on his phone screen. “Fuck, malysh, show me your face, show me your fingers in mouth, I need to see.” 

His phone filled with Shane’s face, four fingers in his mouth, wet, eyes shining and dark. Flushed, damp, smiling face. 

“Bohze moy,” Ilya ground out, “baby you are so good. So good with my cock in your mouth, taking me so nice. Let me see your mouth now, yes? I want to see come in your mouth.”

Shane, because he seemed more often than not on the exact same wavelength as Ilya when it came to what they were in to, dropped his hand - sopping wet - from his mouth and out of screen, then brought it back and licked his own come off his fingers before holding his tongue out for Ilya to see. 

“Chert,” Ilya swore, “you are so hot, so hot I will burst into flame. You make me want to take video and only lie in bed watching for rest of my life.” 

Shane smiled, eyes hazy, and then swallowed his tongueful of come before shaking his head. “We’re not making a sex video,” he said. “I think I would burst into flame if we did and it leaked.” 

“Is pity,” Ilya said, switched his camera to his face so he could smile back at Shane’s pleased look. “And I think I would be jealous as well, after we are finished being freaking out, but I would be jealous anyone else sees you like this.” 

Shane rolled his eyes, continued to look pleased. “Other people have seen me during sex, you know,” he said flatly. “I wasn’t a virgin before you, and I’ve - I’ve had sex with other people since you.” 

This was news to Ilya. Not the not a virgin part. Shouldn’t be. Was. He tried to keep it out of his expression. Because of course Shane could and should have been sleeping with other people as well. Ilya had been. That was what they were doing. 

“Not like this,” he said, “they do not see you like I see you.” 

Shane paused, lifted one shoulder. “No,” he said, “they don’t. It’s not like this with anyone else.” 

“No one makes you come as good?” Ilya pressed, the need to hear it all encompassing. 

“No one,” Shane agreed, easy now. He shook his head at the camera, the hazy look had left his eyes, but he still gazed softly at Ilya through the phone. “I’ve never been me, like this, with anyone else.” 

“Is for me,” Ilya said, almost a demand. 

“Yes,” Shane said. “It’s for you.” 

-

You rated Jane

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

No complaining about kiss score - i am using it to be pleased about how good you look with fingers in mouth, is only nto excellent because should have been my cock. malysh you did so good, coming so pretty for me, like i was jerking you off with my words. you take so well. i hope this helped with not freaking out more about telling pike x

PHOTO ATTACHMENT

(Ilya’s softening cock, he’s still holding it, thumb pressed under the head of it like he was milking more come from it.)

-

Jane has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

I don’t fucking know how you did that. It was such a weird feeling but it was so good. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it for the full time I’m with you in a few days, but maybe we could try it for a bit. I can’t believe you called it useless, but I more can’t believe how much I liked it. I think there’s probably something very wrong with me. I know you said it’s sexy, and I know it is, but it also feels like I’m probably broken. How I get turned on when you’re mean to me. I don’t know where the lines are, for it, just that it’s almost always good and then sometimes it’s awful. Not that this was awful, this was great. Like I said, five stars. 

PHOTO ATTACHMENT

(close up on Shane’s fingers in his mouth)

-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Next app update you should add the N/A
and also the option to edit comments.

-lol

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

why edit?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Just for when you say something that’s not
quite what you mean.

-Or like, ramble too much. 

-I really liked your photo. Hot. 

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

ah-

there is nothing broken with you-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-I don’t want to talk about the comment.

-That’s why I wanted to edit it.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

because you say truth and get scared?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Because it’s off topic.

-Not what the app is for.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

app has no rules about comments-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-I’m going to Hayden’s. I don’t want to talk
about the comment. Focus on my photo
instead, i took it for you. 

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

is a very good photo-

i am on stand buy if threats need be made-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-x

(* :))

Chapter End Notes

Extra picture of Ilya's idea of a good postcard just because I thought it was funny :)

Thank you so much to everyone for their lovely comments! I really appreciate hearing what you guys are liking, it very much fuels my writing flow haha. I'm having a lot of fun writing and then drawing some pictures to go with it so I will be doing it whenever I have time for it :D
(alsooooo this fic accidentally ended up plot heavier than I intended, but there will still be smut full chapters to come, and if any of you have an idea for an app attached after photo... put it in the comments and I'll see if I can work it into the story as well as draw it)

Chapter 8: SHANE

Chapter Notes

As he drove to Hayden and Jacki’s, he thought about how he should probably wait at least five minutes post orgasm to send his sex review, just so he could re-read what he had written without the fog of feeling good. Just because Ilya wanted him now, enough to say it out loud - or type it (actually, no, he had said in text that they had talked about it the previous night, and Shane had just forgotten like an idiot.) - and in a way that sounded like maybe it wasn’t even entirely just sexual, didn’t mean he wanted to read or hear about when Shane felt…weird. It was just that after talking to Rose, and having her so openly asking and pulling apart his defenses to have him talk about himself, and why he felt bad, all his feelings seemed to have risen closer to the surface. 

All of a sudden it hurt him in a new way to be keeping part of himself locked away, not having anyone in his life except for Ilya knowing it about him. It hurt him enough that he had decided, terrified and sick with it, that he needed to tell Hayden, that he needed to let someone else in as soon as possible. It felt like he was a… hose that had been twisted back on itself with the tap on, and he had finally been unbent and now all the water was shooting out. He should tell Ilya this analogy because Ilya would probably immediately retell it as a dick joke and find that funny. 

-

“Buddy,” Hayden greeted him at the front door, a twin on either hip, “I was half expected you to text and cancel. Good to see you.” 

Shane winced, and then held his arms out for first Ruby, and then Jade, when they leaned from their father towards him, giggling. “Sorry,” he said, “I know I’ve been… um, off. Hey girls, oh, are these new dinosaur costumes? Wow!” 

He, Hayden, and the girls all trooped into the lounge, dinosaur discussion already in full swing, and Jacki stepped out of the kitchen a moment later with a smile. 

“Take over the cooking,” she directed Hayden, handing him a wooden spoon like she was tapping him in with a baton, “you get to spend all day with Shane, it’s my turn.” 

“Rude,” Hayden said, but took the spoon, kissed her, and headed off into the kitchen. 

In Shane’s head he could hear the jeering their teammates would make about this, and he hated that their casual cruelty lived in him like this, like a backing track for his life. He knew most of the time it wasn’t even intended to be cruel, it was just what you said, how you acted, how to be a real man. 

He and Jacki played along as pterodactyls for a while before the twins decided they needed to go be burrowing dinosaurs upstairs and ran away jabbering at each other, and then Jacki sat on the couch, and patted the cushion beside her, and Shane sat down. 

He knew Jacki was a Rose Landry fan, so he really did expect that to be the first topic of conversation. 

“I’ve been thinking about Lily,” Jacki said, voice quiet after the din of dinosaurs. 

Shane blinked at her. Opened his mouth. Shut it. Tried again. “Oh?” 

“I know,” she grimaced a little, “I know you’re private, Shane, and I know you - you’ve said often enough that it’s… casual with her,” 

“I didn’t cheat on her with Rose,” Shane said, quick, and then stopped when Jacki shook her head.

“I’m not saying that,” she told him, leaned slightly so she could bump her shoulder into his. “I guess I’m just… worried about you. Because despite what you said about being casual, you never sounded it, and you never - well. Um, Hayden told me about practice the other day, and about how out of it you were. About how you - he said he thought he’d hurt you. When he touched your shoulder in the showers.” 

Maybe Shane should have written up an itinerary for how he thought tonight should go and have sent it in advance. He felt tears prick in his eyes, and then he was standing far too quickly and regretting it when Jacki looked up at him with wide eyes. 

“Shane,” she said, “I didn’t mean to -” 

“Can we - um,” Shane started, cleared his throat, “we should go to the kitchen. With Hayd. So I can just. So I can just tell you both.” 

“Oh,” she said, still staring at him with wide eyes, unmoving until Shane held out his hand and she took it so he could help her upright. “Okay, yeah, okay.” 

Hayden didn’t look up from the pots he was stirring on the stove, when the door opened, just waved at the fridge. 

“I put the ginger ale and the white wine in the veg drawer because all our shelves are full of random shit,” he said. “Need to get a bigger fridge,” he added in a mumble to himself. 

Jacki crossed over to him as Shane shut the door behind them, and then leaned against it like he needed to barricade it to stop himself from leaving immediately. 

“Turn these on low,” Jacki said, already reaching to twist one of the stove knobs, “Shane wants to talk.” 

“What?” Hayden asked, was already twisting another knob, movement fast, “about wh- hey bud,” he finished, having finally turned away from the stove to his wife, and seeing Shane as well. “Um, what’s up?” 

“Sorry for - like - freaking out in the showers the other day,” Shane said, quick and probably a little flat, but he couldn’t linger too long on this because it already felt insane bringing it up. Like an extra breach of shower protocol somehow. “It wasn’t about you. You didn’t - didn’t hurt me. I was in my head.” 

For a moment Hayden looked a little gobsmacked, slightly fish like, even, and then he nodded. “No, bud, I - it’s fine. I shouldn’t have got in your space when I knew you were already feeling weird.” 

Shane shook his head, waved his hand, needed to move on so he didn’t end up spilling everything out in the wrong order. 

“Um,” he said, “I just - first - I just wanted to say that Rose and I, like, we’re not. We had a really good time together, as friends, and that’s it. She -” fuck he was already saying it out of order fuck fuck fuck. “No, wait. Fuck. Let me -” He tried to step back, his heel hitting the door with a stupidly loud thump, and he brought his hands up to cover his face. Fuck. 

“It’s okay, bud,” Hayden said again, sounding very much like he was freaking out a little as well. 

Jacki sounded a lot more put together. “Take your time, hon,” she told him, “start again, if you need.” 

He nodded, still clutching his face with his hands. Breathed ragged into his palms, and then tried again, pulling in a much smoother breath and exhaling it quietly. He dropped his hands, dropped his gaze to the tiled kitchen floor. He liked the tiles in here. Dark blue. Very nice. Big tiles. 

“I’m gay,” he said. “I’ve probably - probably known this for most of my life, I just wasn’t ready to acknowledge it. Or at least to - to admit that I’m only gay, that I don’t like - like women at all. Like that. But I - I am, now, and I didn’t want to - I’ve been lying about who I am. And I don’t want to, anymore. Not to you guys.” 

The tiles were still very nice, even when they became a little blurry. He watched Jacki’s feet step onto the tile he was staring at, and then her hand was on his shoulder. 

“Hey,” she said, “you weren’t lying. You just weren’t ready. It’s okay, Shane.” 

He forced himself to nod, a stunted jerky thing. Couldn’t look up at her. 

A short beat of silence, and then Hayden speaking suddenly, like he had been jolted into speech perhaps by Jacki shooting him a look. 

“Uh, yeah, bud. Thank you for telling us, we - I - bro, you know that’s fine, right? Like, we, uh, we love you and stuff.” 

Shane closed his eyes, so he didn’t see Hayden’s feet stepping over, but he heard them before Hayden’s hand was on his shoulder, and then tugging him forwards into a hug, Jacki letting him go so Hayden could wrap his arms around him. 

“I’m - I’m a little shocked,” Hayden admitted, still holding Shane, “but like, it’s all good, bro, yeah?” 

Shane let himself grab onto the back of Hayden’s shirt, let himself cling just for a bit, because he couldn’t trust himself to hug Hayden back properly and not become a mess. Especially if it became too much too fast for Hayden, like, having a gay friend was one thing, letting a gay friend wrap their arms around you and hold on like a limpet was probably another. 

“Shane,” Hayden prompted. Lifted one hand from Shane’s upper back and ruffled his hair. “C’mon, c’mon bud. You’re my best friend, you’re okay.” 

“Okay,” Shane managed to mumble, released his grip on Hayden’s shirt and leaned back until Hayden released him. “Okay. Sorry. Thanks.” 

“Nah,” Hayden said, sounding serious. He had pulled back from the hug, but he was still gripping Shane tight by his upper arms. “I need to know that you know I’m serious.” 

Jacki made a soft noise behind them, and Shane finally tore his gaze upwards, managed not to flinch away from the look on Hayden’s face. Earnest and emotional. 

“Can I say - can I say the rest of what I need to say first?” Shane asked, cleared his throat, darting his eyes from Hayden’s face, to Jacki’s on his left, and then back to Hayden’s - left eye, right eye, left eye. “So it’s - it’s done. And then I can know, uh, that you mean it. After.” 

A pause, like Hayden had to run Shane’s fragmented sentence through a translator in his head, probably the twin gibberish translator. And then he nodded. He was still holding Shane’s arms. 

“Go ahead,” Jacki said, “but it’s not going to change anything. We love you.” 

Shane almost nodded at that, but stopped himself, because it felt too much like a deal, somehow. Like if he nodded, they weren’t allowed to change his mind. Or it would be embarrassing for him to have believed they loved him and then say it, and have them take it back. 

“Lily is a codename,” Shane said, directing his words back to his friends the tiles. “For the guy I’ve been - been seeing. Since rookie season. A little before, maybe. And - and it was casual. Is still casual. Kind of. But I think I’m actually probably in love with him, and I was trying not to be, and - I guess I freaked out a little about trying not to be in love with him and when Rose and I went out I got drunk and told her all about it. Which is humiliating. But she was really nice, and we talked about it, and she - she’s the reason I’ve finally - that I let myself admit that I’m gay. That that isn’t something I can fix, about me. That’s - um - the reason I was so - weird - at practice, and then in the showers, because I hadn’t let myself think about how much I - um - how much I felt for him really, and so - so naming it my head made me feel. Like I was - was going to die. A bit. Um. I don’t know how to - to say any of this. I thought I did. Sorry. Then in the showers I was scared that it was just obvious. What I am. And I didn’t want you to - to get, like, marked with it as well, Hayd. Getting called faggot. I was just worried. It would happen. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that’s it. Sorry for saying faggot.” 

The blue tiles swam in his vision, oceanic. 

Hayden pulled him back in, as inexorable as a rip, and Shane let himself drop his head against Hayden’s shoulder, Jacki’s arms coming out of the blue and wrapping around him as well. 

“First things first,” Hayden said, gruff, “we fucking love you. Okay? Fuck, Shane - I - fuck, I didn’t even know how much you were dealing with.” 

“I didn’t want you to,” Shane sniffed. Wished he could bundle up all his emotions back down under his muscles instead of them feeling so barely skin deep. Every brush against him was making him bleed. “I didn’t want anyone to know.” 

For a moment none of them spoke, the three of them so close together that their breathing felt like one rising and falling thing, waves crashing. Shane always liked how Hayden and Jacki smelled together. Which was weird of him, maybe, but it was a comforting mix for him. Like and not at all like sitting between his parents. He breathed them in deeply, trying to fill his head with scent memory of the years they had been his friends, like extra padding to Hayden’s words. 

“I’m really glad Rose helped,” Jacki said, her head on Shane’s shoulder. “I’m really glad you met her in a moment you could let her in so she could help. Also, I would love to meet her at some point, partially to ask her how she got you to drink and partially because she is so hot.” 

Shane’s lungs spasmed, and then he snorted. It was only kind of funny, but any emotion that wasn’t fear felt huge inside of him. “Okay,” he said. “I think we could - I think we could make that happen.” 

“If you want to talk to us about - about Lily,” Hayden said, “you can. I want to know about him, about this guy you’re in love with.” 

The fear was back, but less heavy now. His face was still wedged in between Hayden’s shoulder and neck, and the firm pressure of his arms around him felt close enough to bravery. 

“He’s another player, not on our team.” Shane said. “I can’t - I can’t tell you who. It’s dangerous for him. Neither of us are - are planning on coming out publicly. I don't know if I can ever, actually, be with him for real. Not like - not like you guys. Not while we’re in hockey.” 

Jacki swore, and no-one mentioned the swear jar. Which was good, because him and Hayden would probably retroactively owe it a lot. 

“I meant to do this after dinner,” Shane said. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” Jacki said. 

“I’ve made dinner late,” Shane pointed out. “I’ve thrown off the schedule.” 

“I know you’ll hate this,” Hayden said, “but fuck the schedule, bud.” 

-

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

No need to make balloon animals out of Hayd’s
intestines :)-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-oh that is a good one

-good

-you are doing okay?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Yeah.-

It was a lot, but it was good.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-did you tell them you have sexy hook ups?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Not that I have sexy hookups.-

But that there is a guy I’ve been seeing.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-what? who is this guy you have been seeing?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Asshole.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-no no that sounds like guy i have been seeing

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Dickhead-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-mmm yes sounds more like me :)))) 

-you are home?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Yeah.-

I didn’t think it would be so exhausting. I wouldn’t
have done it the night before a game if I knew.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-ah homophobica striking again

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Was it like this for you telling Marlow?-

Exhausting.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-i think maybe for me was more tired before.
-and when i say it, it was not magic no more
tired, but still less tired. 

-not like that for you at all? 

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Maybe a bit. LIke a weight was lifted.-

Having done it was good, but doing it was
a lot.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-yes

-you are very brave malysh

-good job

-is not chirp i am being real

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Okay. Thank you for clarifying.-

Thank you. I didn’t feel brave.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-that is what bravery is i think yes

-not feeling brave and doing things anyway
-you need sleep?

-or maybe reward for being brave?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Depends on the reward, I guess.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-i bought new friend for your collection

-correct colour

-i chose size based on your favourite dick

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I was going to ask how you managed to
get a reference for Gretsky’s dick, but then
I realised that implied I had seen it somehow
and obviously I haven’t-

I guess his could still be my favourite dick, like
fantasy style. I don’t know what it’s like so I can
imagine it being perfect.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

->:(((((((((((((((
-so mean 

-so you do NOT want new toy

-and you do NOT want dick toy is sized for?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Sorry lol-

Obviously your dick is my favourite dick.-

You are my favourite dick.-

I think probably even if Gresky’s dick was like,
insanely amazing, yours would still be my
favourite.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-only probably?????

-cruelty

-i am like chicken in shit box

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

What?-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-forced to stay in cage and lay eggs
-not cruelty free

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

You say the weirdnest things-

Your dick is the best dick.-

And if you were my chicken I would let
you roam free range. I would build you a
big coop with lots of roosting spots and
lots of foraging areas.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-:)

-okay

-i forgive you for cruel dicklications

-this is clever mash of words i have made

-i should be one getting reward, but, you 

were very good and brave so i still give to you.

-[PHOTO ATTACHMENT] (Ilya holding his
hard dick in one hand, and then right next to
it, a dark purple dildo in the other. They are
almost identical in size)

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Oh fuck-

Oh fuck will you fuck me with both-

It’s really big-

I should bring my smaller one too-

And you could fuck me with that and your cock-

Or that and the new dildo-

Or whatever-

I want your cock-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-so greedy already

-i thought you were tired? needing to sleep
for game tomorrow?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I am, i do-

I want anyway-

Fuck you have a game tomorrow too-

You should be going to sleep-

Morning game and then a game the next
day, fuck, you should already be asleep-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-lol

-i know my game schedule 

-i also know moy malysh

-i know is so easy to have you cumming 

-we will be so quick and will be asleep so
soon

-but right now you should be touching your
self 

-lick your fingers

-rub self behind balls

-not hole, soft skin before 

-pretend i am licking you there

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Fuck ok-

It’s called the perineum btw-

Or taint-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-so not sexy names

-but sexy place

-rub hard like i am trying to suck you into
my mouth

-like i am trying to fuck against you from
outside with my tongue

-licking to your tochka g

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

fuck yeas-

prostate nott g if you meant g-spot-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-fuck baby do correctings after

-i want to make you cum not write book

of anatomies

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Sorry-

I am really hard-

I just dont have a g-spot-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-i know this, was just first best word

-or maybe i will pretend is right word

-say i want my mouth on your pussy, hm?

-want to lick into you, push and fuck my
tongue into your hot cunt?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

fuck-

i dont -

okay fuck yes please fuck me-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-mmmm i bet you are so wet for me

-say you want me to lick your pussy :)

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

fuck-

fuck-

ok-

I want you to lick my pussy please-

Fuck my pussy i need it-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-so hot and easy for me, opening so good

-beautiful pussy so good to suck and fuck

-i would not let your pretty asshole lonely

-i want both your holes

-push my fingers into your pussy and lick
down into your tight ass

-i know how bad you want it i can feel your
heartbeats on my tongue 

-would push inside of you opening you up
so wet love to feel you give to me

-your pussy would be dripping and i would

still be getting to lap it up out your asshole
while i fuck your cunt with my fingers

-rub your tochka-g mm?

-fuck i want to fuck you

-fuck my cock into your asshole and dildo
in your pussy and make you so full

-you want this?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

yehs fuchjk oh my gofd ilya-

i dont know whhat the fuckj-

mso close-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-so good for me dorogaya

-rub your pretty clit for me

-cum with me in you

-making you mine

-gonna cum in you fill you up

-lick it out of your hole when it drips

-or push back in

-keep me in you

-want you

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Fuck.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-did my pretty baby cum?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Yeah.-

That was not quick.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-mmmm pretty quick

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Won’t be after i shower-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-ahh i made you messy?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

You know you did-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-me too

-you made me messy

-should come here and clean up mess

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Don’t tempt me with a good time-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-;)))

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Wish I’d gotten a flight right after the game-
I could be with you tomorrow night.-

Not have to wait longer.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-i think people say patience is good building
character thing

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I have enough character-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-lol

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Would you prefer I was a girl?-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-lol

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Seriously.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-no, malysh.

-if i wanted girl i would be with one

-was hot, yes?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Yeah.-

Shouldn’t have been.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-was hot as fantasy, da

-imagining new ways to be fucked

-to be filled with me

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Stop, I need to shower and sleep not
jerk off again omg-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-soooo easy for me :))))

-shower and sleep :)))))

-moy khrabryy malysh x

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Goodnight :) xxxx-

-

You rated Lily 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

I still don’t know how I feel about the pussy talk but it did make me come really hard, so. Marked down on technique just because you were saying things I couldn’t replicate enough to feel like I was doing a good job. I want you to fuck me raw in Boston, and lick it out of me. Please.

[PHOTO ATTACHMENT]

(slightly blurry photo, close up mostly of wet skin, Shane’s hand, two fingers pressed into his asshole)

-

Lily has rated you 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

still five stars because you are always so good malysh, but i am taking down on foreplay for too much heckling!!! sadly you are so sexy i still am turned on when you correct me. i was imagining you in your bed with your angry face on and your hands in your pants trying to work out how to touch a pussy and i enjoyed it very much. maybe when you are here i will show you how i would eat your pussy ;)))) Here is photo for new fantasy for you ;))))

[PHOTO ATTACHMENT]

(Ilya’s face in profile, dildo in his mouth, about halfway in)

-

The game the next day felt like a dream. He turned up at the arena, he led his team through warm ups and easy drills, and then they played and won like they were just following a script, and Shane had to do interviews and say all his usual lines about winning and team work and staying humble.  He just kept thinking about how tomorrow morning he was flying to Boston, to go stay with Ilya at Ilya’s house. That they hadn’t even made a plan for what they were doing, they were just doing it. He was going to be touching Ilya in less than twenty four hours. He’d watched Ilya’s game between practice and his own game, and had spent the entire time grinning, watching Ilya own the ice, the goals, the game. Was stupidly jealous of the way he handled his stick, threw himself at his team mates for cellys, smiled wide at a camera after a goal. Sucked at his water bottle on the bench, chewing at the top. Fuck. 

He had to stop himself from thinking about it when he and his team hit the showers after the game, didn’t want to risk thinking and then getting too hard about it. Especially because after the showers, him and Hayden getting dressed again in their stalls next to each other, and Hayden kept looking at him weird. Had been in the shower as well, like he was checking where Shane was looking, maybe, and that was bad enough that it finally pulled Shane out of the soft fugue state of winning that he’d been in. 

Spoke quiet and low so only Hayden would hear him. “I don’t look,” he said. “I’m not, like, checking any of you out.” 

“Fuck,” Hayden said, looked surprised. He checked over his shoulders, and then turned back to Shane, shaking his head. “Bro, I wasn’t - I didn't think that.” 

“Okay,” Shane gritted out. Kept his eyes on his shoelaces as he propped his foot up in front of him. Tightened the laces. “I saw you in the shower, like, keeping an eye on me.” 

“Fuck,” Hayden said again, and then he was sitting down half dressed in his cubby and leaning over into Shane’s, almost leaning against his leg. “No. Bro. I was just - just realising I’ve never noticed how like, stiff - not the right word - how uhhh, not statuesque, though you kind of are, bro. Determined. Like, always staring at the wall, keeping yourself turned away.” 

“Right,” Shane said to his laces. Knotted them. “That’s what you’re supposed to do. Not look.” 

“Right, right,” Hayden hissed, “but, buddy, it’s like. I’m just. Sorry I didn’t notice how careful you thought you had to be. Or that you do have to be, I don’t know. Everyone else gets to just like, look around and chat and whatever without worrying. Like, I didn’t worry when I was basically in your shower the other day, but you were, and. Yeah.” 

“Oh,” Shane said. He took his leg down, lifted his other one. Tightened the laces. 

“Shane,” Hayden said. He was still speaking low, quiet, and no one seemed to be listening in. Not after Shane had told them very firmly at the beginning of practice that he and Rose were not dating, and would not be dating, and to back off about it. “I’ve looked at your cock.” 

Lifting his gaze from his shoes to Hayden, Shane expected to find him grinning, or making some stupid expression, only to find Hayden’s expression far too serious for this statement. “What?” 

“It’s a great cock,” Hayden said, was only a little pink, but still stoic. “We all look at each other’s cocks. We can’t help it. We’re like, comparing, in our heads. I just - I’m not saying this to make you uncomfortable, I just want you to know, that like. I know you. If you’re feeling, like, guilty? About having looked, at any of us. It’s fine. It’s normal.” 

Shane stared at him. Somewhere behind them he could hear JJ and a few others talking loudly about their after-party plans, excited and loud and not listening to Hayden say all of this insane shit. 

“C’mon,” Hayden said, when Shane didn’t say anything for a few beats too long. “At least tell me I have a great cock too, that’s only fair.” 

Blinking, Shane wondered briefly if he had fallen asleep and was dreaming a very weird porn parody of his life. “Um,” he said, “I mean. I guess it’s, um, good?” 

Hayden’s mouth dropped open and he looked far too upset about this. “Good?” He asked, “Only good? Seriously? I said yours was great and all you have to say is good?” 

Shane snorted, finally finished the laces on his second shoe, his hands unfreezing. Stood up straight. “Buddy,” he said, “if you don’t actually think my cock is great, then say that.” 

Hayden said nothing, looked mutinous for a few moments, then said; “I think maybe you just haven’t looked at mine enough. I think we need a rematch, or something.” 

“Hayden,” Shane found himself giggling, could not believe this conversation. “What the hell? You want us to, what, get naked and rate each other?” 

That was something he reserved for Ilya. 

“No,” Hayden protested, “I mean. Fuck. I’m just saying, you have my explicit permission to look at my dick and then you can maybe revise your judgement of it!” 

That bit was said a bit too loud, and Mitty and Comeau walking past laughed. “What the hell, Pike,” Comeau scoffed, “What is this faggy plan? Did Jacki diss your dick?” 

“Fuck of Gil,” Hayden shot back, so easy, “I’ve seen you measuring your dick.” 

“To prove a point!” Comeau shot back, still laughing, unbothered. 

-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-so you will be writing sex review for
cleavers?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

What???-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-because you fucked them so good
tonight :)))))

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Lol-

No. Reviews and ratings are reserved for
Rozanov Rides only-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-so many Rrrs

-good

-i saw your sexy goal in third

-maybe we make new app

-for rating each others sexy goals

-5 star for 5 hole baby

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

If you say hole to me right now I will die.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-:))))))))))))))

-hole

-love your hole

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Oh fuck.-

Love my hole tomorrow-

I have to get up so early to get stuff done
before my flight and I want to not be tired
when I get to yours so you can fuck me
the way you’ve been talking about fucking me.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-which way first?

-so many good plans we made

-you are bringing friends yes?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I’ve packed both toys, yes.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-mm your new friend is eager to meet them ;)
-and youuuuuuuur hole 

-this is your hole *

-and this is your hole tomorrow O

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

You’re so gross-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-:)))))))

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Do i have a good cock?-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-whatthe fuck?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Hayden said I have a great cock, but
I’m pretty sure he was just, like, saying it.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-why is pike complimenting your cock

-your cock is not his business

-and he is wrong

-is amazing cock

-useless yes but very beautiful

-hot amazing cock

-tell pike to fuck off

-i bet he has wrinkly dick

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Lol-

His dick is a perfectly good looking dick.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-PERFECTLY

-so i should have bought dildo like his dick
hm???? would be your prefered?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

No, i think my original dildo is probably more his
size, and we’ve already determined it’s not
enough for me, after your cock-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-good.

-so you tell pike you are gay and now he is
saying you have great cock. he wants to
fuck you, yes?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

What? No. He was just, idk, trying to make me
feel less weird about locker room rules.-

apparently i’m too strict about not loooking-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-this is not true. you looked at mine

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

And learned my fucking lesson-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-found best dick to look at you mean

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Yeah.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-is sleep time?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Yes. Goodnight. I’ll text you when I leave
tomorrow morning xxx :)-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-:) goodnight malysh x

Chapter End Notes

yay :) :) :) they get to fuck in person tomorrow!!!!

Chapter 9: SHANE

Chapter Notes

so sleepy yesterday that i slept most of the day, but i am more awake today and managed to write this! Only one picture today, because they're too busy getting their hands on each other to take photos.

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Boarding now :)-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-i will pick you up

-will drive most boringest car

-park in darkest corner

-

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I could have gotten a ride.-

Landed, btw, just waiting to deboard.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-no no no, you have app for reason, no?
rozanov rides?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

So I should rate you after?-

That might severely tank your rating.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-so rude to me when i am so nice

-i am such good driver

-if i was not amazing at hockey maybe i
would be race car driver

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

See, the fact that you think race car
driver is the kind of driver I want?-

That’s where you’re losing me.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-no, i will make sure you wear seatbelt, will
not lose precious cargo ;))))))

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Asshole.-

Finally off the plane.-
Going to get my luggage now.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-ah you are moving in?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

No, asshole. I just didn’t want to bring the
fucking dildo and plug in my carry on because
they fucking xray the bags and would see them
AND me at the same time-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-ahhh no one is allowed to know you have
sex, yes i forgot

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Not this kind of sex!-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-they will think you have kinky girl
-they will not look at you big hockey player
who is so famous and think yes this man
is big bottom for ilya rozanov, big slut

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

You drive me insane.-

I hate you.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-:)))) 

-i am screenshotting to share with media
-they are always saying you are so nice and
polite about me in rivalry and only i am
asshole, but this will show them :)))) 

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

They would assume you had said something
fucking insanely annoying and that I was right
to reply like that.-

And they’d be right.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-this is what you think

-but i will share with boston media

-and they love me so will side with me

-i will say shane hollander came here only
to be mean to me

-and they will be so sad for poor ilyushka

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Ilyushka?-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-ah is like sweet name of my name

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

It’s cute.-

Okay, got my bag. Where are you?-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-[LOCATION SHARED]

-have you eaten?

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I had a protein smoothie before I worked out-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-and that is all?

-ugh

-you will taste like chalk

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

I’ve brushed my teeth! And had water.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-chalk man

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

>:(-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-hehe kotik

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Fuck I think I just got recognised-

Someone definitely took a photo of me.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-well make sure to tell them you are only
here to fuck famous rival

-or other whys maybe they think you are
here just for work or to see friend, or to go
to event

-tell them you have biiiig plans for fucking,
long lists of things to try

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Ha fucking ha.-

I just don’t want anyone talking about me.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-people are talking about you always

-there are people who make big long videos
all about you on youtube and show clips of
every time you deke, or things, and then
talk so long about it 

-one more person saying one more boring
thing about you will not be problem

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

You watch youtube videos about me?-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-no

-fuck off i don’t

-i just hear about them maybe sometimes

-or see on recommends when i watch

hockey videos

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Oh my god you do watch youtube videos about me-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-why would i do this? would be so boring.

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

There’s this video compilation of you I watch
sometimes of all your on ice fights.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-ohhhhhh

-you are horny for me

-jerking off to me being strong and sexy

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Maybe I’m jerking off about the other guys.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-no. they are not as hot as me

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

That time you fought Mini? Stupid move, btw. He
got you good with that right hook. Looked good
doing it, too.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-HE started fight! goalie should not start
fight. he had me on surprise!!!!

-he is too short for you. you do not really
find him more sexy than me

______________________________________________________________________TO Lily

Mmmm.-

FROM Lily_________________________________________________________________

-fuck i am going to have to fight him again
-and be sexier this time

-

Shane grinned at Ilya’s texts, shoved his phone into his pocket, and then knocked on the driver’s side window of Ilya’s most subtle car. It was black, yes, but it also have gold flames on the sides. He watched Ilya startle through the tinted glass, and couldn’t help but keep his grin on his face as he watched Ilya’s face travel through shock, to realisation, to what looked a little like delight, before it morphed into a smirk as he rolled his window down. 

“Sorry babe,” Ilya drawled, “I am not looking.” 

“Huh?” 

“I am pretending you are hooker,” Ilya said in an undertone, “trying to bag rich client.” 

Shane stared at this absolutely stupid man in front of him, who he was, sadly, kind of in love with. He glanced around, checking they were still as alone as he thought they were in this back end of the long term parking, and then put his bags down and leaned down low, resting his hands in the open window. 

“I’d make it worth your while,” he said, doing his best to sound seductive, though his best was just trying to lower his voice more and also try to soften it? He didn’t think he was doing a good job. “And if you just give me a ride in your nice car, to where I want to go, then I’ll even go down on you for free.” 

Was this sexy? He did not know. Yes a bit. Ilya’s face broke out of its confining smirk and he smiled wide at Shane, letting out a burst of laughter, looking like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

“Fuck,” he said, “put your bags in boot and get in my car now so I can give you kiss.” 

Shane fought down his smile, pouted instead. “We haven’t even talked payment yet?” 

“I pay you anything you want,” Ilya told him, “I give you thousands even if only for kiss, but I need this kiss very quick.” 

Shane stopped fighting his smile, and stood back to pick his bags back up. Ilya rolled his window closed, and there was a small pop noise from the boot of the car as Shane walked around to it. He put his bags in, and circled the rest of the way around the car speedily, opening the passenger side door and sliding in and shutting it again so quickly he almost shut his leg in it. 

Then Ilya was kissing him immediately, hands already on Shane’s face, pulling him closer, mouth demanding and hot, and Shane let himself fall right into it. Leaned into Ilya’s space, bringing one leg up underneath him so he could be closer still, his hands pushing in to Ilya’s open jacket and smoothing up and around Ilya’s ribs over the soft fabric of his shirt. 

When they finally pulled apart, strands of spit disgustingly stretching between their lips for a moment before breaking, they both panted for a moment, still holding on to each other, still in each other’s space. 

“So,” Shane asked, “do I still taste like chalk?” 

“Maybe,” Ilya replied, ducked in and kissed Shane again, licked into his mouth in a decidedly less sexy way than he had before, making Shane let out a horrified noise too much like a squeal as he pulled away. “Mmm, no,” Ilya said, grinning at Shane’s fake disgust. “Taste like me now.” 

“And that’s better than chalk?” Shane asked, raising his eyebrows, and Ilya made a face at him. 

“You love how I taste,” he replied, “you love it so much you are always wanting your mouth on me.” 

“Maybe,” Shane shrugged, “maybe I have bad taste.” 

“Oh, you do, yes,” Ilya agreed, “with your terrible chalk drinks and your yucky protein bars. I will do my best to fix while you are here.” 

“I’m only here for a couple of days,” Shane pointed out. “And I don’t think that’s something that needs fixing.” 

“Disagree to agree,” Ilya replied, and then leaned into the backseat, grabbing a cardboard cup holder with an unfamiliar iced drink in it, and a small paper bag. “Here is first part of fixing.” 

“It’s agree to disagree,” Shane said, absentmindedly as he took the proffered items warily, eying up the drink and then the bag which he could already see had an oil stain on it. “Um. What-” 

“Is fancy healthy tea,” Ilya said, turning away from Shane and fiddling with first his keys, and then the wheel. “Pea butterflies I think. With lemon. Healthy, pretty, and nicer than chalk drink. And I am not agreeing to disagreements, is silly.” 

“Oh,” Shane blinked down at it, was still very cautious of what the bag contained. 

“Bag will not bite, Hollander,” Ilya told him, not meanly even as his voice became gruff. “Bagel. Oil is from tomatoes. Not raw tomato. Kind in oil. Chewy.” 

“Sundried?” 

“Mm, this. Maybe you will not like how much cream cheese, but I already ask them to put less, so is already healthier option than should be. Salmon too.” 

Shane opened the bag and looked in at his lesser-cream-cheesed-bagel with sundried tomato and salmon, and then at the purple-ish drink dripping condensation into it’s cardboard holder, and felt so terrifyingly cared for. In a car that wasn’t orange, and was parked somewhere remote and expensive for such a short stay. 

“Shane,” Ilya said, sounded a little worried. “Is bagel really so bad?” 

Shane’s lip quivered, and he shook his head. Ducked his head down and brought his shoulder up to wipe the tears off one cheek. 

“No,” he said, choked. “It’s really nice.” 

Ilya exhaled. “Okay,” he said, “You will eat it then, yes?” 

“Yeah,” Shane nodded. He took the drink out of it’s cardboard and took a quick sip before putting it between his thighs so he could have both hands for the bagel. The tea was nice - sweet without being overwhelming, and just a hint of bitterness to even it out. “Thank you.” 

Ilya watched him take a bite of the bagel, and then he reached out and put his hand on Shane’s thigh, hand especially warm in contrast to the ice drink.

“I am glad you are here,” he said. “Now, ah, where was it you wanted a ride to, hm? And will I be receiving your services in car?” 

Shane grinned, his cheeks full of bagel, shook his head. Swallowed. “Take me to your place,” he said, couldn’t sound seductive right now if he tried, his smile too wide. “And we can do anything you want.”

-

Anything Ilya wanted, apparently, was to get Shane entirely naked the moment they’d gotten inside his house, Shane’s bags dropped in the entrance, and then his shirt quickly following. 

“Been thinking about you here,” Ilya said, had pressed Shane up against the wall right beside the shoe stand. “Waiting while I am playing game. Watching me on my TV, wanting me, knowing I am coming home here after to fuck you.” 

“Yeah,” Shane panted, dropped his head back hard against the wall as Ilya bit at his neck, his hands making quick work of divesting Shane of his trousers. “Maybe I’ll only let you fuck me if you win.” 

Ilya laughed, kissed Shane again, and then was suddenly dropping down to his knees. He helped Shane the rest of his way out of the clothes caught around his shoes, as well as taking his shoes off, and then kissed up Shane’s thighs, pressing them apart with one hand and pressing Shane harder against the wall with the other. 

“I was thinking, maybe,” Ilya said, his mouth pressed into the crease at the top of Shane’s thigh, Shane’s cock beginning to press against Ilya’s jaw. “Maybe you wear plug while I am at game and you are watching. And when I win, which I will do, I come home and slide right into my slutty brat.” He punctuated this with a quick bite to Shane’s thigh, and then with a lick the Shane’s shaft. 

“Fuck,” Shane groaned. “I don’t know if - I mean - yes - I want, obviously. I think, I think I’ll only put it in if you’ve scored in first period.” 

“Oh?” Ilya raised his eyebrows at Shane, and even kneeling on the ground at Shane’s feet Shane still felt so entirely captivated by him. Like if Ilya told him to drop fully on the ground and suck him off instead, Shane would do it without a thought. “You want to make bets? Bargains? Okay, yes, we do this.” He pressed a wet kiss to the head of Shane’s cock, and Shane moaned, kept his eyes on Ilya’s face. 

“You put in plug after I score in first period,” Ilya said, nodded firmly, like this was already destined to happen. “And then you count every point I earn, and when I come home, that is number of times I give you spank before I take out plug.” 

Shane’s body felt a little like it was made of jelly, like he was a nervous system in a see-through gelatinous casing and Ilya could press on all of his nerves in just the right way to make him shake. He imagined being face down on the couch, or on Ilya’s bed, or across Ilya’s lap, Ilya’s palm coming down hard against his ass cheeks, or against the base of the plug. 

Ilya’s hands softened on him, smoothing down his thighs instead of pressing hard against him, and Shane blinked at him, at the way Ilya’s face was tensed just a little, and realised he was waiting for Shane to tell him he’d gone too far. 

“I doubt you’ll get that many points,” Shane said, his voice raw, “so it’ll be easy. That’s only assuming you win, though, and that you get a goal in first.” 

“Okay,” Ilya was smiling again. He moved one hand from Shane’s thigh and wrapped it around Shane’s cock instead, stroking him slow and firm. “If I do not score in first, but I still win game, what is my prize?” 

“Still the points to spanking,” Shane said, nodded once, “and - and you can fuck me with two things at once. Not including the plug.” 

Ilya nodded, licked at Shane’s dripping cock-head, sucked it into his mouth, his tongue circling the tip maddeningly. He pulled off much too quickly, and looked back up at Shane. “And if I score in first, but do not win?” 

It took this, plus Ilya’s pleased face looking up at him, for Shane to realise he was having fun. Like. A lot of fun. And he had expected to have fun while he was here - they had talked about many types of fun they could have - but he had also expected it to be…weird for a bit. Or to feel anxious, or worried, or, whatever. None of that now. Only enjoyment. 

“I will let you fuck me,” Shane began thoughtfully, and then reached down and batted lightly at Ilya’s head when he laughed. “Shut up. I will let you fuck me, but - um - but you can’t touch me. I’ll ride you. You just have to watch as I - I take out the plug, and take what I want.” 

Ilya groaned, a heated noise that went straight to Shane’s lower stomach, to his cock, making him feel suddenly hot and melty. Ilya mouthed wetly at Shane’s cock again, his hand still working it slow and steady. 

“And if you - you don’t score in first,” Shane said, his breath hitching as Ilya took more of him in his mouth, “and you don’t win the game, then - fuck - then you have to watch as I fuck myself with one of the toys. You don’t get to touch me.” Oh god Ilya better win the game, fuck. “You just have to watch.” 

Ilya moaned around Shane’s cock, and then he was swallowing him down, his nose pressing in to Shane’s freshly trimmed pubes, his throat clenching around Shane’s cock, his curls tickling at Shane’s stomach. 

“Fuck - fuck Ilya,” Shane groaned, his hands knotting into Ilya’s curls, “fuck I missed your mouth - I missed - you’re so good at this -” 

Ilya bobbed his head, one of his hands sliding up from Shane’s thigh, over his hip, his stomach, squeezing at one of Shane’s pecs. So good. So much better than Shane touching himself, even with Ilya’s voice over the phone, guiding him, heating him up. So much better than his memories of doing this with Ilya, or his fantasies, or any other sex he had with anyone else. It was stupid how good it was with Ilya, and it made Shane feel stupid not knowing if it was because of how he felt about Ilya, or that Ilya was just that skilled. 

He was definitely just that skilled. Was doing something with his tongue that made Shane’s hips shake so hard it juddered up his spine and into his jaw, and his teeth were chattering with it, and Ilya was rubbing his thumb over and over and over Shane’s nipple, and all his raw nerve endings were on fire and he was coming down Ilya’s throat without a warning for himself or Ilya. 

He would have collapsed down onto the floor if Ilya wasn’t immediately there - standing up and wrapping his arms around Shane, pressing him upright between his chest and the wall. 

“Fuck,” Shane groaned, more a breath than anything. “Fuck I think you killed me. I think you sucked out my soul or something.” 

Ilya laughed, kissed him on the lips, then the nose, the forehead, back to the lips. “I give back to you,” he said, kissed him again, his tongue pushing into Shane’s mouth, taste of come bitter and slick on him, and Shane swallowed it down. 

“Better?” Ilya asked, once they had kissed slowly for a few moments more, and Shane’s body had stopped shaking so much. “You are still here with me?” 

“Yes,” Shane said, his eyes had been shut for a while, he wasn’t sure how long, and he opened them now to look at Ilya. At Ilya’s eyes searching his face, at Ilya’s mouth quirked in a small smile like he didn’t even know he was smiling. At the flush of his cheeks. “Can I blow you?” 

Ilya grinned, kissed Shane again. “Da, malysh,” he said, “come upstairs, we are not finished yet.” 

-

Upstairs Shane helped rid Ilya of his clothing, pressing his mouth greedily to each bared piece of him, until they were both naked and on the bed, Ilya on his back, Shane between his legs. Shane’s fingers would never be enough to mimic the way Ilya’s cock made him feel, not pushing into him, or sitting heavy in his mouth, and he felt saliva pooling under his tongue just looking at the way Ilya’s cock sat, hard and flushed, foreskin pushing back the harder he got. 

He wanted to dive right in. Take Ilya right down his throat, swallow him, devour him, make them one thing. Wanted it so badly his stomach felt like it was cramping with hunger for it. He wanted to tease, more, though. Wrapped his hand tight around Ilya’s hot cock and pushed it up instead, pressing it towards Ilya’s stomach as he dropped his head forwards to mouth at Ilya’s balls, Ilya swearing above him. 

“Blyat,” Ilya hissed, his hand in Shane’s hair, “you are trying to kill me,” he accused, breathless, “this is - is illegal, taking out captain before game - uh - fuck -” 

Shane, his mouth full, sniggered, loved to get Ilya running his mouth and then incoherent with it. Loved the way Ilya’s grunts became almost softer, and his thighs, so hard and corded with muscle, trembled beneath Shane’s hands. 

“I will get on ice -” Ilya panted, his hands tugging seemingly mindlessly at Shane’s hair, “-and be like baby deer, and will say - fuck, fuck, - my Jane - her mouth -” 

Shane took pity on him now - or on himself - and finally lifted his head back up to wrap his lips around Ilya’s cock-head, to suck just at that first, his tongue working at the delicate frenulum, lapping at the bitter musk of him, before relaxing his jaw and taking him in deeper. Relished in the feel of it bumping against the back of his throat, a dull pain transposed to sheer want even as his throat spasmed at it, and then swallowing him down. Letting the thick hot breadth of him hold his throat open, automatic bodily responses panicking at the intrusion even as Shane’s mind clouded sweetly over. 

Ilya’s palm, warm on his cheeks, cock hot in his throat, thighs bracketing Shane’s head. Surrounded and subsumed by Ilya. 

He let himself have it until his lungs’ terror broke through the fog of his brain, and he pulled back off only enough to breathe, sharp lungfuls through his nose, sucking at what was still in his mouth, his hand coming up to grip the dripping base of Ilya’s cock. 

“Fuck, moy lyubimyy,” Ilya was saying, his voice soft and heavy at the same time, like he had been saying it on repeat, waiting, and when Shane lifted his eyes up to Ilya’s face he got to watch as Ilya smiled down at him, open and happy and relieved almost. “Shane,” he said, “god, I thought you would choke yourself on me.” 

Would, Shane wanted to say, but to speak involved giving up the cock in his mouth, so instead he blinked through the haze of wetness in his eyes, and lifted his hand from Ilya’s thigh. Took the hand Ilya had on Shane’s shoulder, and guided it to his mouth, opening wider to fit the first two fingers in alongside Ilya’s cock, and watching as Ilya squeezed his eyes shut and then open again, looking pained and amazed. 

It was over a little too quickly after that. A very large part of Shane felt like maybe he should have just taken Ilya in his mouth and then insisted on just holding him. Letting his jaw become stiff and sore from the intrusion and the weight. But that was the part of Shane that felt clouded over, the part of Shane that was still raw heated nerves wanted Ilya coming now, and he got that, swallowing Ilya over and over as he came in Shane’s mouth, drool and come dribbling out the corners of his lips where he was over stretched, Ilya’s fingers holding him open. 

It felt like he blinked and then he was caught up against Ilya’s chest, his head so heavy over Ilya’s loud, fast heartbeat, arms around him, Ilya speaking low and soft and Russian over him. 

“S’good?” Shane asked, when he worked out how to make his mouth work in a way that wasn’t cock related. 

“Bohze moy,” Ilya breathed, “da. Shanya. Yes, so good, so good. You are good?” 

“Mhm,” Shane hummed. “I missed your cock.” 

Ilya laughed, and then his hand was on Shane’s face, tipping him up to face Ilya, and Ilya’s face was pink and elated, and they were kissing soft and wet. 

“You are okay, though, yes?” Ilya asked again, when he pulled away from the kiss, his hand still holding Shane’s face upright. “Sweetheart, you were so - so deep somewhere, like my cock had you drunk.” 

“I’m good,” he said. Imagined texting Rose and asking if she knew about the phrase cockdrunk and if it was normal. “I’m so good. You?” 

“Yes,” Ilya scoffed, “I think we will need nap, though, yes? Regain some little energy.” 

Shane was nodding without needing to think about it. He didn’t really do naps, didn’t like how they threw off his sleep schedule, but he was heavy, sated, warm, sleepy. 

“I get cloth,” Ilya told him, kissed him again. “Give us quick clean, and then we nap.” 

-

Ilya was still asleep when Shane woke up. He wasn’t sure how long they had been asleep, or what the time was, but the dim light coming through the half opened blinds didn’t seem much changed from before. He found Ilya’s phone in his sweats pocket on the floor, checked the time. They’d probably been asleep for an hour, maybe. He put the phone on Ilya’s bedside table, and then pulled on Ilya’s discarded clothes so he wouldn’t have to go downstairs naked. 

Downstairs he gathered up his own messily dropped clothes, his phone in his jeans’ pocket, and his bags. Brought them as quietly as possible back to Ilya’s rooms. His checked luggage was only a small duffle - the toys wrapped in a couple of hoodies in one end of the bag to keep them from rolling around, and everything else he needed fit easily in the leftover space. It had felt stupid getting a checked bag, but he’d known he wouldn’t have been able to relax taking the toys through security. They would probably have called in a bomb threat or something on him for how twitchy he would have acted. 

He got back into bed, because he figured Ilya could still sleep for another couple of hours before he needed to even start getting ready to leave, and the moment he slid back under the covers, Ilya rolled over and wrapped his arm over Shane’s waist, still asleep. And if Shane let himself just lie there for a few long moments, staring at Ilya’s sleep lax face, well. No one needed to know. 

He’d brought his phone into bed with him specifically for updating Rozanov Rides, and the first thing he did was snap a quick photo of Ilya’s sleeping face, because he wanted to see it again, and hiding it on the app seemed the best place for it. 

-

You rated Lily 

-⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

I love you I love sucking your cock. I know I have a habit of like, chewing on things, or putting things in my mouth, and I think when it’s your cock in my mouth it really hits the urge or whatever it is I have. Someone called it an oral fixation once, so maybe it’s something like that. It’s calming. Not always, like, when you’re fucking my throat, or when I’m more actively sucking you off, like, I’m too turned on to be calm exactly then. Just, you seemed a little worried earlier, and I wanted you to know that it was really good for me. That it felt nice.
You sucking my cock? I also love that, and it is very much the opposite of calming. The thing you do with your tongue??? Like you’re fucking my cock? Idk. Makes me feel like I am shaking apart. In a good way. It was so hot the way you had me against the wall, like you couldn’t wait until we got any further into the house, like you needed me as much as I needed you. 

Rating is 4 stars because you literally ran a red light on the drive home, you fucking menace, just because there were no other cars at the intersection doesn’t mean it’s not illegal! 

[PHOTO ATTACHMENT]

(Ilya’s face squished against a pillow, asleep, his mouth is slightly open.)

-

Ilya woke up only a half hour later, his arm tightening around Shane’s waist for a moment before he grumbled out a noise that was probably a greeting, and Shane quickly locked his phone. Possibly too quickly, because that drew Ilya’s sleepy attention into very suddenly awake attention. 

“What was this?” Ilya asked, using his grip on Shane’s hip to roll him onto his back so they were no longer spooned up together, and Ilya could be hovering over him. “You drop phone so speedy like you are hiding things.” 

“If I was hiding things, I wouldn’t tell you what it is, would I?” Shane shot back, amused at how young and grumpy Ilya looked, his hair all bedraggled, eyes squinting. “I was just texting Rose.” 

Ilya made a face, and then dropped himself down against Shane’s chest, the weight punching the air out of Shane’s lungs, but his own arms coming to pull Ilya closer anyway. 

“Texting Rose Landry,” Ilya grumbled into Shane’s neck, “For what? So she can tell you again you are gay, when you could have asked me years ago and I would have told you?” 

Shane snorted, his hand moving of its own accord, rubbing up and down Ilya’s back. “I couldn’t ask you,” he said. “You’re not seriously jealous that someone else helped me work out my sexuality, are you?” 

“No,” Ilya snapped, “I do not get jealous.” 

“Mm,” Shane nodded, breathed as deeply as he could with Ilya pressing down on top of him, his lungs lifting Ilya up and down. “I rated you, by the way,” he added, “but you’re not allowed to look until you rate me back.” 

Ilya was quiet for a few moments, and then he huffed out a noise that might have been a laugh. “So keen for rules,” he said, and then rolled himself fully off of Shane and sat up in the bed, looking for a moment like he was about to get up, and then, glancing back at Shane, noticing that; “you are wearing my clothes.”

“Ah, yeah,” Shane glanced down at the shirt he was wearing, “oh, I put your phone on the bedside table, by the way.” 

“Oh,” Ilya said, still looking at Shane. “This is hot,” he added, waving his hand at Shane. “Almost as good as Bears’ shirt.”

Shane freed his leg from the sheets so he could kick Ilya lightly in the ass as Ilya grabbed his phone, and then Ilya kicked him back, and then they shoved each other a few times, and then they kissed until Ilya’s phone started chiming from the tangled blankets between them. 

“Phone call?” Shane asked, dragging himself out of Ilya’s arms. 

“Alarm,” Ilya replied, his hand skating over the blankets until he found the phone and picked it up. “Reminder to take sex break to make food.” 

Shane laughed and Ilya grinned at him, silencing the alarm that was probably not actually a sex break alarm. 

“Okay,” Ilya said, he still had one of his hands wrapped around Shane’s bicep, and didn’t seem like he was planning on letting go even as he kept tapping on his phone. “I rate you back so I can read all your hot praise for me.” 

“It’s not all hot praise,” Shane teased, shuffling around until he could find his own phone where it had fallen under his ass. “Some of it’s confused praise.” 

They both sat back against the pillows and the headboard, still a little tangled in each other, phones in hands. Shane texted Rose back, smirking only a little when he caught Ilya’s glare at his phone. 

“Ah!” Ilya bit out, “but no one was on road! Would have been silly to stop and wait.” 

“Silly, maybe,” Shane acknowledged, “but following the rules. You’re lucky I didn’t take off two stars, for making me an accomplice.” 

“I would have said I was kidnapping you,” Ilya replied tartly, “if we were stopped. Probably would be believable, yes?” 

“No,” Shane snorted, opening Rozanov Rides so he could see the review Ilya left him. “My best defence would be that you lured me in with tea and bagels.” 

“No, no,” Ilya shook his head, “if I remember, it was with my big amounts of money for some of your kisses, no?” 

Shane laughed. 

-

Lily has rated you

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

5000/5 love to get you so desperate you let me drop your clothes everywhere on floor, should add new rating for neediness and you would always get excellent. love how you get so wet everywhere for me, eyes, mouth, cock, so pretty. when you had me in your throat i could feel your body so tight and shaking but your face so happy like you were sleeping so beautiful. always get me off so good, my fingers in your  mouth??? so hot so sexy. love how you feel in my arms after like we are melted together. 

-

“Is good to know,” Ilya said, when Shane looked up from reading the review, “that you like as much as you look you like.”

“I do,” Shane agreed, “and I have picked up my clothes, by the way, but you’re right that I didn’t even think about it until later.” 

“Very hot,” Ilya said. Shane could see he still had the app open on his phone, was scrolling almost absently through reviews. 

“Um,” Shane said, “so, like, are your other… riders enjoying the app update?” 

Ilya looked at him, eyebrows raised. “What?” 

“Getting reviews back,” Shane shrugged. “Being able to be rated? Unless some of them don’t like that?” 

“I have not given update to anyone but you,” Ilya said, still staring at Shane like Shane had said something entirely insane. “No one else is getting ratings.” 

“That - yeah - that makes sense,” Shane’s mouth said, “I guess I am kind of, like, intense about - about comparing ratings. Stuff like that.” 

He watched as Ilya rolled his eyes, and then locked his phone and dropped it onto the mattress beside them. “Shane,” he said. “Are you rating anyone else?” 

“Uh,” Shane frowned at him, looked down at his own phone again, and then locked and dropped it too. “I mean, no. I don’t have an app? And it’s probably rude to like, give out unsolicited ratings on sexual performance?” 

Ilya sighed, like Shane was being purposefully obtuse, shook his head. “Other day,” he said, taking Shane’s now empty hand in his. “You say you are sleeping with other people,” he paused and crinkled his nose, shook his head again. “Maybe I am wanting to know how they rate next to me? Hm?” 

Shane snorted, pushed his fingers between Ilya’s, wound their hands together, looked away from him. “What?” He asked, “you want me to like, give you a rundown on everyone I’ve - that I sleep with?” 

“Maybe,” Ilya shrugged. “I will give you answer I know you want, as well. How you rate next to other hook ups.” 

Fuck. Shane did really want to know that. He knew it wasn’t fair, and he knew it wouldn’t really be a good comparison because most of Ilya’s hook ups (he was pretty sure) were women, so. 

“I mean,” he began, groaned a little. “It’s not - fuck, it’s embarrassing, Ilya.” 

“Because no one is as good as me?” Ilya sounded like he was teasing, and that made it worse. 

“I mean, yeah,” Shane rolled his eyes. “No one is as good as you. For me, at least. But, what’s embarrassing is that - it’s not - I mean, I’m not sleeping with anyone right now. You’ve got to know that already, right? Like, when would I have time?”

“You are very horny,” Ilya pointed out, his voice mild, “maybe when all you get from me is phone sex you need more.” 

“I do,” Shane shrugged, “but I’m not, like, I don’t want it from anyone else.” 

“Okay.” 

“And the people I’ve - do you want to hear about the other people I’ve been with?” 

A long pause. “Yes.” 

Shane sighed again. Felt like his insides were squirming. Also like he wanted to tell Ilya about everything he had ever done. Get to speak about some of it for the first time ever. And there was something else, he didn’t know what yet, but it was churning inside him and propelling him forwards. 

“I blew a guy on a roadie,” he said, the words bursting out of his mouth. “Behind a Denny’s. I downloaded Grindr and met up with him and then deleted it immediately. He blew me as well, but it wasn’t very good. And, over last summer, when we weren’t speaking. I um, I went on a boys trip with Hayd, and some of my team mates and I met this guy, and we fucked a few times. And I mean, it was good, but it wasn’t - I liked it, and it was fun, but. I would have rated him three stars, probably, and blow job guy would get two, if I he’s lucky. So.” 

Ilya squeezed his hand, Shane frowned down at his knees. One of his legs of the stolen/borrowed sweatpants had rolled right up over his knee, and he had a bruise just under the curve of it. 

“But it,” Shane began again, didn’t even know yet was he was saying. “Thinking about it now. My experiences with other guys, and - and with you. It makes me think that I really didn’t. I didn’t like have sex with women. I think. I think I actually really disliked it. I always felt. Bad. After. And guilty, maybe? I just thought that was what sex was meant to be like, and - and when we first started hooking up I thought that it was so good with you only because it was you, y’know? Which, don’t get a  - don’t let that go to your head. It wasn’t until I let myself be with another guy that something inside me clicked, like, oh. Even when it’s not - not five stars, it still feels good. So maybe, like, maybe what I’d been having with my girlfriends, and - and women I hooked up with sometimes. Maybe that was something different.” 

A long silence. Ilya’s hand still tight around his. 

“Something different?” 

“I don’t know,” Shane told his knees. He wanted to reach down and unroll the shoved up one. Make it even. Stop looking at his bruise. “I don’t know,” he repeated. “Sorry. I know that wasn’t exactly - that wasn’t the kind of, like, scoop you were looking for.” 

“Shane,” Ilya said, and then he was reaching over Shane’s body, tugging his trouser pant down, and rolling Shane onto his side so they were facing each other. “Here is my scoop for you,” he said, far too serious for those words. “I am not sleeping with anyone else. I have not been for a while. Did not notice at first, but it has been months, maybe since was anyone but Svetlana, and now not even Svetlana. You are only one giving me ratings. You are at top of ratings.” 

Shane let himself look at Ilya, and Ilya looked back at him. 

“Oh,” he said. 

“I think,” Ilya said, his eyes intense on Shane’s, flicking back and forth across Shane’s face. “I think maybe we both do not need anyone else to sleep with. I think maybe I appreciate Rose Landry for telling you you are gay, so you are not hurting yourself on more women. I think - I think you should know that I am only wanting you.” 

“Oh,” Shane said again, and then when Ilya’s expression slid slightly closed, he brought his un-held hand up quickly to Ilya’s face. “I only want you too,” he said. “I don’t want to sleep with anyone else.” 

“Okay,” Ilya nodded, ducked in and kissed Shane so softly, while Shane’s brain threw itself around his skull. 

They had just agreed to…what? Become exclusive friends with benefits? Monogamous fuck buddies? Shane was seriously the only one effecting Ilya’s star rating? His stomach grumbled then, and Ilya pulled back from the kiss, chuckling. 

“I make lunch,” he said, kissed Shane again. “Early lunch? Brunch? Silly word but fun to say.”

Chapter 10: ILYA

Chapter Notes

sooo flattered by all your comments!!!!! I'm having so much fun writing this and sharing with you all :))))))

He was well aware that he had put too much thought into this - he wasn’t really prone to anxiety - but it had felt like one of the important things for ilya to get right. Food. For Shane. It wasn’t something that Shane really talked about much, but Ilya had been noticing more and more that  it was something he talked around, and that when it was brought up it was mostly because he was complaining that the caterer had forgotten his specifics, or he was hangry because the cafe he’d gone to didn’t have anything safe for him to eat. And Ilya had seen the interviews Shane done about diet, and health, and micro macros or whatever, but he had thought they were sort of like some of the advertisements Shane posed in. Drinks he didn’t like, or shoes he never wore, just being a face for it without actually following it. He’d known Shane took his diet and health much more seriously than Ilya ever had, but still. 

He had been working it out clearer, these last few months, the exact intricacies of what might be safe, what might be allowed, what might be actually nice for Shane to eat instead of just safe and allowed. 

He’d settled on tuna melts - with a lot less melt than he would otherwise - and oven baked chips, and a fucking pre-made leafy salad. Something that could look enough like a meal he would make for himself without being obvious he had bought and prepped it specifically for Shane. 

He’d sat Shane down at his kitchen counter and talked at him while he’d put the sandwiches together. Fished a ginger ale out of the fridge and put it in front of Shane, keeping his face casual, his conversation light. Shane let him talk about Detroit’s terrible offence this season, and about Marly’s current obsession with taking photos of his food, and about about discovering that he was allergic to kiwifruits because yes they were acidic but they weren’t apparently meant to make your throat swell up. 

Then Shane had gotten off the barstool, once Ilya had closed the oven door on the chips, and had walked around the counter, and kissed him. 

Ilya kissed him back, obviously, hands going to Shane’s hips so he could steer them away from the oven, and then backing him into the counter before getting his hands around Shane’s thighs to hoist him onto it. Shane wrapped his legs around Ilya’s waist, his strong thighs pulling Ilya in tight against him, and it was insane that Ilya had gotten this far. That he had Shane in his house, for this long, and Shane was still here, and smiling, and pulling him closer, and also very hard against him. 

“I see,” Ilya teased, pulling out of the kiss and bumping their foreheads together, like he did on ice with his teammates helmets sometimes. Except this felt a lot more like nuzzling. “You are not just hungry for food?” 

“How long does the food need to cook?” Shane asked, pressing forward and biting against the side of Ilya’s neck. 

“Mm,” Ilya dropped his head to the side. Wanted Shane to bite him for real, to bruise him, so he could go into the locker room with a bit of Shane showing. He had to put the tuna melts in the oven in about fifteen minutes, to get them cooked and ready at about the same time as the chips. “Fifteen minutes, maybe? Maybe twenty if we want crispy chips. What do you want?” 

“Um,” Shane said, glanced at the oven, “I don’t mind crispy?” 

“I mean what do you want me to do to you,” Ilya said, slid his hands up under the hem of Shane’s shirt (Ilya’s shirt on Shane), gripped at Shane’s waist. “You want me to suck you off again? Eat you out? Finger you? Kiss you until you’re dripping for me?” 

Shane’s hips made a small aborted movement against Ilya, his thighs clenching, and Shane’s head dropped back to pressing their foreheads together. 

“Fuck,” he said, his mouth hanging open like Ilya had winded him. “I want - fuck - you’re leaving in about an hour, yeah?”

“Hour and a half,” Ilya confirmed, bit at Shane’s earlobe, and then at the hinge of his jaw. Wondered if Shane would let Ilya mark him up. Just a little. “We can wait until after we have eaten, if you want.” 

He could almost hear Shane’s brain whirring, could actually hear the way his jaw clicked a little, tense with indecision. He kept mouthing at Shane’s jaw, his neck, scraping his teeth over his skin. 

“Finger me a little after lunch?” Shane finally said, “Kiss me now? I can - I can jerk you off, if you want, or blow you, or - fuck!” 

Ilya had removed his hands from under Shane’s shirt, scooped up under his ass instead, and hoisted him off the counter. He only staggered a little as he took the weight, and then he headed to the lounge, Shane’s legs tighter around him, his arms around his neck, his mouth complaining even as his cock was harder than ever. 

“You have a game later,” Shane was saying, “you could pull something!” 

“Already pulled you,” Ilya said, and then dropped the both of them down onto the couch, bouncing a little just to be a dick, and grinned at Shane’s pissed off expression. “You are so heavy, Hollander, but I am so strong. Is easy for me.” 

“Asshole,” Shane breathed, but didn’t move to get off his lap now they were on the couch, and didn’t hesitate before he was kissing Ilya again. 

They made out almost lazily, (Ilya managing to persuade Shane (very easily) into sucking a hickey into his neck,) until the oven beeped, and then made out a little frantically for a few moments more until Shane got too anxious about a fire suddenly taking out the whole house, apparently, and they went into the kitchen. Ilya put the melts in, got the salad on plates, showed off his very insulting Crowell impression, served up the chips and the melts. They ate together at the counter, because Shane had sat back down on one of the stools and remembered his ginger ale, and he looked cute there. 

-

Shane insisted on taking a quick shower first, and also on both of them brushing their teeth before he let Ilya at his asshole, which was frankly very unfair because Ilya had just realised Shane had been in his house for nearly five hours and he hadn’t even touched his hole yet. 

He checked his game bag while he waited for Shane, having brushed his teeth with Shane before Shane told him to leave him alone so he could shower, and had glared at him when Ilya had offered to help out. Replied to a couple of texts in the team chat, to Marly, to Svetlana. Scanned the messages from his brother and decided they weren’t emergencies. Then he’d heard the bathroom door upstairs open and had been up the stairs so fast he was pretty sure he might have set a record. 

Tackled Shane in the bedroom doorway, Shane still only in a towel, and deliciously damp. 

“Jesus, Ilya,” Shane squealed, sounding genuinely shocked for half a second, followed by laughter. “What the fuck!” 

Manhandling Shane towards the bed, Ilya bit down on Shane’s shoulder, his hands gripping Shane’s ass. He growled playfully, and Shane laughed more, let himself be all but thrown onto the bed, both of them reveling in the physicality of it. 

He stared at Shane for a moment; lying supine on the bed, legs spread, towel shed on the floor, face soft and easy with enjoyment. Wanted this so badly that for a horrifying instant he thought he was going to actually cry about it, which would one hundred percent ruin things right now. 

“Fuck,” he said, instead of crying. “I’m going to fucking eat you.” 

Shane giggled, bit his lip, his shoulders tensing for a moment before he was pushing up on his elbows and moving like he was going to wriggle away off the bed. “Gotta catch me first,” he said. 

Ilya would cry about this later. For now he just laughed and pounced. Shane was fast too, but he was already disadvantaged by being thrown onto the bed, by being on his back. It was easy to grab him by his ankle even as Shane rolled away, to tug him back, and then when he kicked his leg out of Ilya’s grip, he was already close enough for Ilya to grab him by the hips and drag him closer again, climbing onto him, pinning him down with Ilya’s knees in the crook of Shane’s knee and the back of his thigh. 

“Got you,” Ilya pronounced, dropping his weight down over Shane’s back, even as Shane still wriggled, bit down on his shoulder again, spoke through his meaty mouthful, “Mine.” 

Shane groaned underneath him, his muscles still flexing and straining even as he stopped making any real moves of escape. His cheeks were so flushed, and when he dropped his head down on the mattress, turning so he was looking up and back at Ilya, he was smiling, panting, pleased. 

“What’re you gonna do, now, then?” He asked, groaned again when Ilya bit down a little harder on his shoulder muscles. “Fuck - feels good.” 

“You need massage therapist,” Ilya said, after finally removing his teeth from Shane’s skin. “Lucky for you I am trained in very specific type of massage.” 

Shane made a stifled sort of noise, blinked up at him. “So, uh,  you’re not going to eat me?” 

Feeling unbearably fond, Ilya grinned his best toothy smile down at him. “You were type of child who wanted everyone to follow rules when playing make imagine games, yes?” 

Shane blinked a few more times, and then glared a little. “Don’t make fun of me,” he said. 

“No, no, moy lyubimyy,” Ilya said, laughed, kissed at the skin on Shane’s shoulder where he was going a little red, wet with spit still. “I am making fun with you. Playing with you. I am still going to eat you.” 

“Hm.”

“If I stop pinning you down,” Ilya asked, dropping his voice down low, speaking into Shane’s ear. “Will you try and run away from me, kotenok?” 

Shane paused, then shook his head. 

“You will be good?” Ilya pressed, “now I have caught you? You will lie nice and still here in my lair while I eat you?” 

Nodding his head now, Shane’s eyes dropped closed, heavy lidded, mouth open like he needed to be able to gasp in large lungfuls of air. 

“I believe you,” Ilya said, bit at the top of Shane’s ear, “you will be so good for me, yes? So good even when I am pressing my teeth into you?” 

Another nod. Ilya bit harder at his ear. 

“Say yes, malysh,” Ilya instructed, “I want to hear you say yes.” 

“Yes,” Shane replied, easy and soft. 

Ilya rewarded him with a kiss, gripping his jaw with one hand as he did, holding Shane’s mouth open for him. He climbed off Shane in a way that probably looked very ungainly, but Shane couldn’t see him, so it didn’t matter. Shoved Shane a little further onto the bed, right into the middle instead of the edge where he’d managed to half crawl to in his short lived bid for freedom. Crawled in between Shane’s legs, nudging them wider with his knees, and then dropped down onto his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows, hands already gripping at Shane’s ass cheeks. Pulled them apart so he could see Shane’s hole, a little pink from his obviously slightly hurried prep in the shower. Wondered how long he could just lie here holding Shane’s cheeks apart, stretching his hole just the tiniest bit like this until Shane got impatient and mad. Didn’t have enough time to test it. 

“So pretty for me,” he said, and then, because he did like to play with his food a bit, “your lovely pussy.” 

“Fuck,” Shane bit out, his hole clenching so hard suddenly that Ilya lost his grip on one of his cheeks. “Jesus, Ilya.” 

“Mm,” Ilya rubbed his thumb against Shane’s hole before reasserting his grip on his ass, holding tighter, stretching wider. “Not a pussy for me?” 

He watched as Shane clenched again, more like a pulse of muscle than anything, an involuntary reaction. 

“Only,” Shane began, took a sharp breath, “only if you say it’s the best pussy you’ve had.” 

“Fuck, this is easy,” Ilya said, spat at Shane’s hole. “Is best pussy in world, baby. Best pussy I have ever had, ever will have. Let me eat it?” 

“Fuck,” Shane moaned, “fuck, yeah, eat my pussy.” 

Probably somewhere some greater power had accidentally tallied a balance wrong, and Shane Hollander was Ilya’s ill-gotten reward, which would be taken away as soon as the mistake was discovered. But for now, he had Shane’s pussy to eat. 

He bit at the meat of Shane’s ass first, hard enough to leave marks, but not to break skin. Hard enough to shock another moan out of Shane, and then another when he finally moved his head to Shane’s pussy and licked into it, tongue hard and wet and firm. 

He licked at him, his thumbs sliding down the inside of Shane’s cheeks to press against his rim, to rub at the tight muscle. Managed to fuck his tongue in so easy, imagined Shane with his fingers in himself in Ilya’s shower. Slid one of his hands down from Shane’s pussy to press under him, to get his hand around Shane’s cock and pulled it back so it was facing Ilya, rubbed his thumb over the cock-head where it was already wet and leaking and so slick. 

He rubbed it firmly, alternating circles and short sharp flicks over the tip as he fucked his tongue into Shane, spit dripping from his mouth, smearing from Shane’s cheeks to Ilya’s until everything felt wet and pulsing and Shane was making halting half moans like he was so overwhelmed he couldn’t finish one before another was bursting out of him. 

He gave his tongue a break for a moment, kept rubbing at Shane’s cock, bit his other ass cheek. “I’m going to make you come,” he told Shane, “and then I’m going to jerk off onto your pussy.” 

“Please,” Shane said, said some other words as well, but they were incomprehensible, and his main message was really delivered in the way he shoved his ass back at Ilya. 

Ilya resumed his mission, slipped his thumb from Shane’s rim into his hole, eased in by the spit slick everywhere, held him open. Licked back into him, flat tongued licks first before spearing his tongue back into Shane’s hole, licking in along his thumb. He pulled his thumb out after a moment, then replaced it with his middle finger, pushing in and pressing down, rubbing careful and firm. Took his mouth off Shane’s hole again to tease him. 

“Did not forget your tochka-g-spot, baby,” he said, “you like how I am fucking your pussy?” 

Shane’s moans were very affirmative, as was the way his muscles were clenching, and then he was coming, tight and hot around Ilya’s finger, his cock squirting come against Ilya’s chin and chest, the bed sheets. 

He didn’t pull his finger out as he pushed up onto his knees, dragged the waistband of his shorts down enough to take his cock out. Kept rubbing at Shane’s prostate, watching him twitch and gasp with the overstimulation, as he jerked off rough and fast, came on his hand and Shane’s hole. 

“Put it in me,” Shane slurred, his body still twitching like he couldn’t decide whether to try to pull away or push back into the pressure. “Fuck - fuck, Ilya, I want it in me.” 

Ilya panted down at him, felt like he might pass out and he wasn’t the one being very gently tortured. “My come?” He asked, “Or my cock?” 

“Fuck,” Shane bit out, “yes. Both.” 

“Fuck,” Ilya reiterated. Slapped his softening cock against Shane’s ass, dragging his cock-head through the come pooling in Shane’s ass crack, used his cock to push it to Shane’s hole. “Yes? You are sure? You want?” 

“Yes, fuck, Ilya,” Shane groaned, “fucking do it.” 

He spat onto his cock, though he doubted the extra spit would do much more than the come and spit already there. Pulled his finger out slowly, until just the tip was still in, and pulled down on the rim from the inside, watching come slide slow into the wet pink of him, holding Shane open enough to press his cock-head inside. 

“Just tip?” Ilya asked, muscled down the groan trying to press out of him at the heat of Shane’s ass around him. “You are not - not stretched enough - fuck.” 

“I want it all,” Shane complained, his hips shoving back a little, finding no real purchase with his legs barely under him, and Ilya’s hands on him. “Please.” 

“Fuck, my greedy slut,” Ilya breathed, “so needy, hm? Need me to split you open? Need me to push into you until I am so deep inside I am all you feel?” 

“Yes, fuck, yes.” 

Ilya closed his eyes, rubbed his hand along his cock a few times, squeezing out the last drops of come, giving Shane the sensation of nearly fucking. Listened to Shane’s moans. Pulled out. 

“I suppose you will have to hope I win game tonight then, yes?” He asked, bending over Shane’s back to press a kiss to his reddened shoulder. “Otherwise maybe you do not even get my cock at all today.” 

“Fuck,” Shane groaned. “Asshole.” 

Ilya patted Shane’s pink ass, watched as it jiggled. “Such a good asshole,” he said, approvingly. “I have to have very quick shower, so I do not turn up at game covered in come.” 

-

You rated Jane

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

Sooo sexy your insane brain, you are feral creature. is very fun to play with you kotik. very fun to leave you so mad even when i have given you such good orgasm already you are so cute. i love to eat you out, love to have you mad and turned on and mad at how turned on you are. i am always so so much loving how wet you get, everytime i am pleased like is new trick. so needy for my cock and my cum. in media tonight when they ask how i play so amazing i will say my jane gave me yummy meal before i leave house ;)))))))))) kissing is only not excellent because i did not get to do enough of it while i was busy with your pussy

-

You rated Jane

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

FORGOT ABOUT COUCH MAKEOUT FORGET OTHER KISS SCORE

-

Jane has rated you

-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ORGASM - meh - good - great - excellent

TECHNIQUE - meh - good - great - excellent

KISSING - meh - good - great - excellent

FOREPLAY - meh - good - great - excellent

COMMENT

Very rude of you to point out that I was the kid no one wanted to play with because apparently ‘you’re not supposed to tell people what to do’ while playing make believe. I was just thrown because you started a new ‘game’ while I thought we were still doing the other one. Hence the non excellent foreplay score despite the fact that apart from that it was fucking great. We should do the chasing one again except next time you should actually have to chase me. IDK how we’d do it, because it doesn’t seem like a good idea to run around inside in case we break things, or like, fall down the stairs. But maybe we could set room limits and it’d be kind of like tag except you pin me down and fuck me when you catch me. Sorry, I know this is supposed to be feedback on what we did not a place to brainstorm new things. You eating me out is always hot. Fucking me with your tongue never seems like it should feel as good as it does, but it does. I was so mad and turned on when you gave me just the tip >:(. I still don’t know how I feel about calling my asshole a pussy. It’s really hot but it also feels weird. Could we like. IDK. Talk about it before we do it like that again? We don’t have to. Um. You should post a new tip pic, tonight, after you fuck me. So you’d better fucking win. I want you in me. 

-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Should I be leaving a second review for
the couch makeout? So we’re even?

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

no i think is fine to just be bonus-

makes up a little for my more reviews, yes?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-I guess, it just makes our shared ones
uneven. 

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

will be fine lol-

i have new name for you-

pedantic princess -

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-:/

-Don’t like that.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

i like how you are pedantic-

and is same letter thing-

illiterate?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

- Alliteration. 

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

yes this-

you do not like pedantic or princess?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Neither.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

you are mad?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-No.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

you are sounding mad.-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-I’m not. I’m something. It doesn’t matter.
-it’s fine.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

malyshhhhh-

this is like pussy problem?-

more alliteration -

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-:/

-Yes. I guess. I swear it’s fine.

- Just feeling weirdish.

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

what will make you feel ok?-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-You winning the game and coming home
and fucking me. 

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

ok-

i do this for you x-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-x

-

Ilya’s teammates had whistled when he’d stripped to change earlier, chirping him and commending him in turns for the obvious very recent fucking he’d just had - according to Riley, the colour of his hickeys put him having sex very obviously between the last half hour to four hours. He had grinned and shrugged about it, keeping his mouth shut except to fire off a few of his own chirps, and it wasn’t until Marly came and loomed over him after warm ups while Ilya sat in his cubby, that he said anything even vaguely real about it. 

“So,” Marly said, his hands on either side of the stall like he was trying to pin Ilya in. It wouldn’t work, because Ilya was fast and sneaky and could absolutely duck out under Marly’s arm and be gone. “Your Jane?” 

“My Jane,” Ilya agreed, found himself smiling stupidly wide up at Marly. “Is staying with me. Arrived this morning, very early.” 

“Wow,” Marly snorted, eyebrows raised, “all this just this morning?” 

Ilya shrugged one shoulder, couldn’t hide that he was pleased with it. “I was very happy to see her,” he said, “and she was very happy to see me.” 

Despite the fact that Marly hadn’t been weird about the whole, Ilya being bi, and Jane being a man, thing (or, he had been weird, but not in a bad way), Ilya still found himself almost bracing for discomfort, or disgust at this, but Marly only grinned and rolled his eyes, dropping one hand down from the side of the stall to bump Ilya’s shoulder. 

“Good,” he said. “So you’re not still worried you’ll drive h- uh - her off?” 

“Oh, no,” Ilya said brightly, “I am fucking terrified of this, Marly, thank you for reminding me!” 

“Jeeze,” Marly groaned, “seriously, bro?” 

According to the comment Shane had left in his rating today, Ilya was probably already walking a fine line in not scaring him off. He was used to Shane being prickly and defensive about new things being introduced during sex, and had thought he was good at spotting when the prickle was real, but apparently not. Then he’d gone and made it worse, and he still wasn’t sure if Shane had objected more to the princess or to the pedantic, and he had thought pedantic was a good enough description, hadn’t thought it would sound negative, or more mean than a little nudging tease, but -

“Bro,” Marly repeated. Nudged his shoulder again. “C’mon. Why?” 

Ilya shrugged again. “I say stupid things,” he said, “you know this.” 

“Yeah, I fucking do,” Marly agreed, “but never too stupid. Or, like, when you do say too stupid things you fucking realise and take it  back. I’ve seen you talk your way out of so much shit, bro.”

His shoulders moved to shrug again, but Ilya stopped himself, shook his head instead. “You ever want something so bad, Marly,” he said, “that it is, ah, too much, too obvious, and so your brain is… will only show you how it will go bad. Like cigarettes.” 

Marly stared at him. 

“How on cigarette packs they have these yucky photos of gross lungs to say, hello, we know you know this, but this may do this to you.” 

“What kind of cigarettes are you buying, man?” Marly asked, squinting at him, and Ilya sighed. Fucking Americans. 

“Is - no, forget this, is not point of what I am trying to say-” 

“Jane is like cigarettes?” 

“No, do not say this about my Jane,” Ilya growled, and then groaned, slapping his hands over his face. He was glad Marly was blocking him in, now, didn’t want anyone else seeing him. “No I am saying my brain is - is law that makes cigarette people put gross pictures on box. In places that are not America. Like as warning, yes? So people see cigarettes, and maybe they want them so bad, but pictures remind them what might happen.” 

“Okay,” Marly still did not look entirely convinced, but he nodded. “So you’re just, what, skipping straight ahead to divorce?” 

“Fuck! No,” Ilya resisted the urge to howl. “Now you are trying to curse me!” 

“Bro,” Marly put both his hands on Ilya’s shoulders now, gripped him firmly. “I’m not - I’m just saying I think, like, you’re turning this mountain into a molehill!” 

Ilya paused, thought it over, eyed Marly up. “I do not think this is correct.” 

“No, it is,” Marly frowned at him. “It’s a saying. It’s like, if you had a mountain, and then moles like, dug holes all through it.” 

This was much better than thinking about how he would inevitably fuck things up with Shane and lose him forever. He pulled himself upright, using Marly to do so, and poked his head under Marly’s arm to address his room. 

“Hey!” He hollered, waited until the general chatter died down, and his team all turned to look at him. “Who knows silly phrase about mountains and molehills?” 

-

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

hiiiiiiii moy malyshhh-

you are putting in plug? ;)))))))))-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________

-Your phone should be in  your locker.

-It’s in. You only needed one goal in first. 

-Show off :)

_____________________________________________________________________TO Jane

fuck yes send photo-

FROM Jane________________________________________________________________