Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble & Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander/Rose Landry

Characters:

Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Rose Landry, Svetlana Vetrova, Taylor Swift

Additional Tags:

Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov is Obsessed With Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov is a Menace, Jealous Ilya Rozanov, Oblivious Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Post-Episode: s01e04 Rose (Heated Rivalry), Good Friend Svetlana Vetrova, Social Media, Crack, Ilya Rozanov is a Taylor Swift Fan, Possessive Ilya Rozanov, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau & Ilya Rozanov Friendship, Supportive Boston Bears | Boston Raiders (Game Changers)

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-04-18 Words: 1,193 Chapters: 1/1

the social media menace

Summary

Post TunaMeltdown™️, Ilya Rozanov goes on a quest to get back his man using the not so subtle art of thirst traps, subtweets and psychological warfare in the form of social media.

Shane Hollander does not stand a chance.

Notes

this is entirely inspired by Ariana Grande coming on shuffle and then spiralling about all the songs that would be relevant to this point in the show/book that Ilya could scream in the car whilst trying to get over his heartbreak. TIMELINES DO NOT EXIST HERE! any song titles used are all already released in this world xoxo the only thing that matters is this is post TunaMeltdown. also, for the "plot," Ilya is not scared of Russia, and everyone is not as oblivious as they are in the book (aside from sweet Cliff).

side note: I know barely anything about hockey and have read so many HR fics recently I now struggle with what’s canon and what’s made up in your fabulous minds. please take any dates and timeframes with a pinch of salt, purely for the story. HOWEVER, this reaction is canon to me. our dramatic, attention seeking, beautiful Russian menace being so unhinged to get back his man. enjoy!!!!

PS I have tried to use american terms (forgot abour doordash!!) but I am using english spelling of certain words to be true to myself xo

January 2017 - Boston, MA: Menacing begins

Ilya Rozanov would say that he is a simple man. He likes fast cars. He likes good vodka. He likes sex. He loveslikes Shane Hollander. Shane Hollander, however, ???loves Rose Landry. Ilya Rozanov does not like that. 

Two months after they last spoke (when Shane ran away from him and apparently straight (ha!) into the arms of a world-famous actress), Ilya is driving to the Boston training centre in his beloved Porsche Spyder, honouring his usual lack of interest for the speed limit. Not much interests him these days. As ever, his thoughts drift to a freckled man as he blasts his custom Spotify playlist, catered to singing himself through his heartbreak. Adele and Ilya are wrapping up bellowing Someone Like You as he pulls up to centre the parking lot. Marleau is waiting outside with a frown on his face as Ilya pulls his bag out of the trunk and locks up. 

"Are you doing okay, man?" Cliff asks, clapping him on the back as he reaches him. 

"Da, of course. Why?" Ilya replies, shrugging him off as they walk through the entrance doors and down to the changing rooms. 

"You've been kind of.. different the last couple of months, and you just pulled up cosplaying Adele. Has something happened with Jane?"

"Pffft, there is no Jane, Jane is gone" Ilya says with a wave of his hand. "Stop asking questions and get changed so you can be useful and spot me in gym." 

Cliff, not wanting the wrath of his captain, sighs and does as he is told.

Two hours later, Ilya walks back into the changing rooms, towel hung low on his hips fresh from the showers. Cliff is closing his locker as he looks up at the sound of sliders slapping along the floor. He wolf whistles as Ilya stops at his own a few feet away.

"Man, you are looking absolutely massive after that session! Jane has no idea what she is missing" he chuckles, swinging his bag over his shoulder. Ilya looks up at this, a full blown grin menacingly forming across his face. This is the most he has looked like himself in weeks, Cliff thinks. 

"You are absolutely fucking right, Marly" Ilya says, walking over and clapping his shoulder. "A genius, who knew?! Yes yes, I think will remind her." He struts back to his locker and quickly pulls on some shorts, heading back to the floor to ceiling mirrors in the gym, phone in hand. Cliff smiles and shakes his head, shouting goodbye as he heads out.  

He has no idea what he has just unleashed onto the Montreal captain, and the rest of the world. 

---

Posted 17 minutes ago

Two days later

Three days later

   

Five days later

Boston Group Chat (Bears - no 🧢)

Marly

I think I fucked up

Connors

...if I had a dollar 

Hammers

would already be retired 🤑🤑🤑🤑

Marly

I'm serious. I may have accidentally given cap the idea to show Jane what she was missing

I wanted him to get his spark back

But not this

Vicky

Ah, so you are the reason for this psychological warfare? 

Marly

I dont know what that means

Connors

😞

Hammers

Maybe we need to stage an intervention 

Marly

I dont know what that means

Connors

😞

Vicky

The thirst traps are too much. I've had to block him on my wifes account

Carmichael 

He keeps asking me to help him with the lighting in the gym. I'm a grown man

Vicky

I thought the heartbreak playlist was bad, but this is all so much worse

Hammers

Right? I can't hear Taylor Swift anymore man, I'm tired

Marly

This is my fault, I will talk to him and fix it

An intervenshion

Intvertenion

***intervention

Connors

😞

The next day

Two days later 

All of about 4 minutes later 

Boston Group Chat (Bears - no 🧢)

Marly

I think I might have made it worse

Connors

😞

---

 

February 2017 - Boston, MA: Menacing Intensifies 

 

Boston Group Chat (Bears - no 🧢)

Marly

Ok boys, its now critical 

Cap just direct tweeted Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift is very busy and does not need this

Vicky

We need to put a stop to this

Delete his twitter

Does anyone know his password

Hammers

No idea but we need to do something. We could try and guess it

He is a simple man

Connors

Its probably something so stupid like a thing he likes with 69 on the end

Vodka69

Marly

didnt work

Carmichael

Lambo69

Americangirls69

Vicky

IlyaRozanov69

Marly

nope

Vicky

damn, worth a try, the ego is big enough

Marly

I mean, we have all seen the thirst traps

its valid

Connors

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

Vicky

💯💯💯💯💯

Carmichael

💯💯💯💯💯

Hammers

💯💯💯💯💯

A few days later

Boston Group Chat (Bears - no 🧢)

Marly

do you think Jane is ok

i thought he would be done by now

but there is evil inside him

Connors

i dont even think Jane is Jane

Vicky

💯

and I think they are probably fine

Roz is harmless, and at least least he is hot

Connors

💯

Marly

?

do you think thats not her name?

Hammers

I dont think its her anything

Marly

?

Carmichael

😞

Connors

hey man, thats my line 

Meanwhile, somewhere in Montreal:

February 2017, Montreal

The next day

Back in Boston

Boston Boyyyzzz 🐻 Group Chat

Roz

its a good fucking day boys

we will have an easy practice 

and tonight

we go out

Marly

are we celebrating something?

Connors

I think I can probably guess

Roz

yes marly we are celebrating the joy of life

of being handsome men

with fancy cars

and lots of money

and a stanley cup

and big 🍆

Connors

💯💯💯

Vicky

💯💯💯

Hammers

💯💯💯

Carmichael 

💯💯💯💯

Roz

well maybe not Marly for the last one

Connors

💯💯💯

Vicky

💯💯💯

Hammers

💯💯💯

Carmichael 

💯💯💯💯

Marly

oh fuck you man

Roz

you couldnt handle me

 

Boston Group Chat (Bears - no 🧢)

Marly

man wtf, i think i preferred it when his attention was elsewhere

he has too much energy

and my dick is a perfectly good size

Connors

at least we know that jane is not jane

Vicky

yes he hasnt been subtle at all

Carmichael

how did he ever bag that, though? incredible pull

Vicky

facts! cap is very hot though

Connors

💯💯💯

Carmichael

💯💯💯

Hammers

💯💯💯

Marly

?

what have we figured out about Jane

and can someone please defend my dick

Vicky

Marly

fuck you guys 

im requesting a trade

The next week before the Boston v Montreal game:

Boston Boyyyzzz 🐻 Group Chat

Roz

dont wait up for me after the game tomorrow boys

i have plans

Vicky

all your hard work has finally paid off

Roz

hopefully 😈

Connors

proud of you man, you gave it your all

twitter should give you revenue

Carmichael 

its been a wild ride

Roz 

hopefully more riding to come😈

Connors

💯💯💯

Carmichael

💯💯💯

Hammers

💯💯💯

Vicky

💯💯💯

Marly

wait is this about Jane

Roz 

---

Several months later - Boston, MA: Menacing complete 

O

Boston Group Chat (Bears - no 🧢)

Marly

guys

HOLLANDER?

and what about Jane

he was hung up on her for years 

Vicky

come on man how are you still not getting it 

Marly

?

Vicky

connors, you are needed

Connors

😔

 

Ilya Rozanov is a simple man. He loves Shane Hollander, and thankfully, Shane Hollander loves him right back.