Rating:

General Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais & Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike, J - Relationship, Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais & Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais, Hayden Pike

Additional Tags:

Hayden Pike is a Bad Friend, bad friend hayden pike, surprised those 2 arent tags already tbh, Jean-Jacques Boiziau is a Bad Friend, Bad Friend Jean-Jacques Boiziau, Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais Finds Out About Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, hayden already knew, Established Relationship, Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Spoilers for Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Implied/Referenced Homophobia, it's slight i guess but..., Bad Friends, Bad friendships, why are none of these tags siiiigh, Complicated Relationships, Soft Ilya Rozanov, POV Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander Needs a Hug, Hurt Shane Hollander, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Morally Ambiguous Character, Texting, Short, Short One Shot, One Shot, Post-Book 2: Heated Rivalry (Game Changers)

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-03-21 Words: 6,812 Chapters: 1/1

Maybe...

Summary

Set after Heated Rivalry, mini spoilers for The Long Game since it's set around the start of that book

An exploration of J.J and Hayden as not-so-great friends, from Shane's POV. Ends on a hopeful note for Shane overall but not in regards to his two longtime friends.

Also featuring a cute text exchange between Shane and Ilya + a sweet conversation in the Hollander family groupchat!

(I advise reading the tags)

Notes

I wrote this when I was both really wanting to write some hollanov but also really stuck (writing wise, head wise… irl wise lowkey too oof) so alas that shows, which isnt the best selling point but i believe in honesty😂! This is by far so NOT the best I can do, not just writing wise but hollanov wise specifically too so id actually rec my other fics instead lol, those all end on a fully happy note btw! Anyway, it did feel nice writing this initially (most of this was written during that weird headspace of mine) and then I dropped it and then I decided to declutter my wips and I’m trying to finish the short ones at least and post them even if i dont like them so i continued this! Funny enough, i also got in a weird headspace again just a few days before picking this up lol.

In the moments i got lazier with, i think it also ends up a bit ooc but meh. I like it (i mean... i dont? not really? but i also do? if that makes sense🤣)

Anyway, basically, not my best fic and I’m not all that satisfied with it from a personal enjoyment of the final product perspective But writing it did actually help me with my 😵‍💫 and was kinda fun too especially cause this my first fic that doesn’t have a clear happy ending (i never even Read fics with the ambiguous ending tag or that dont end on a fully good note so i never expected myself to write one and enjoy it too!) so im thanking this fic by posting it after all! it was also fairly cathartic due to the scene at the end and for personal reasons on my part!

I’ve also been told several times that you never know who might like a fic you wrote, that you personally dont like, so im keeping that in mind, this may be someone’s cup of tea even if it isn’t mine. I know it’s not as common but i am aware that there’s people out there who like ambiguous and/or not super happy endings! so there's that too i guess.

so… thanks for checking it out and

Enjoy!

:)

btw, in this fic i dont explore it too much tbh but ive been craving “hayden and j.j are bad friends” fics for a while now and the day after picking up this wip again, i actually found a really nice fic on this! i wasnt even using any tags other than the hollanov relationship one so that was a nice coincidence! the author seems really nice! tho idk them personally, but i want to give their fic a shoutout anyway! It’s “in the corner, taking up space” by winterfire22! dont think theyll be seeing this, but if they do: hi!

“Ugh, the kids just got over their cold,” Hayden lazily gestured towards the window that was showcasing the snowstorm they were in, “watch me arrive home tomorrow to a house full of snivelling kids. Again. Hell, Jackie’s probably gonna be sick too by the time I’m back.”

J.J sighed, “Fuck, man. Nothing else you can do about it. Relax. Time won’t go faster just because you want it to.”

“You’re right,” conceded Hayden as he made his way towards the couch. “Guess it’s a waiting game now.”

“Speaking of games,” J.J held up one of Shane’s videogames that he had grabbed from a nearby basket where he kept them all, “I’m first!”

He got up to set it up, then sat down again, “Who’s playing with me in the first round? And then when I win, the other gets to play with me in the second round.”

Hayden threw a small pillow his way which fell to the floor and Shane grumbled as J.J chuckled.

“Sorry, man. You can go first with J.J,” Hayden picked up the fallen pillow, set it back on the couch and slightly smoothed it over, then passed one of the joysticks to Shane but Shane pushed it back towards his friend.

“I’m good, you go first. Maybe it’ll take your mind off of… you know.”

Montréal covered in snow wasn’t anything new and neither was the act of cancelling a hockey game because of it but it had been a while since a snowstorm had been so bad that Jackie had asked Hayden to stay at Shane’s and not drive home out of fear of something bad happening on the road.

Shane’s apartment was closer than Hayden’s house or J.J’s apartment so it made sense for him to let his two friends crash there for the night but they were all a bit bummed out.

J.J was supposed to go to one of his weird parties full of random micro and occasionally macro celebrities Shane barely recognised, Hayden was of course planning to go home to his family and help Jackie out with the kids and Shane… was supposed to take a long shower in preparation for his boyfriend’s visit, both of them had home games so the plan was for Ilya to drive to Montréal afterwards and spend a few days together before he had to fly out for his next game.

So the mood amongst the trio was not exactly great but J.J had already cheered up a bit and hopefully fucking around playing videogames would help.

“Alright, thanks,” Hayden shrugged and angled his body towards the tv as J.J started the game.

“Merde,” the Haitian-Canadian groaned and rolled his eyes as the opening sequence played, “I like this fucking game but why do I always have to see Rozanov’s face. Like, let me play in peace, no?”

He turned to Shane, “Your mother gets you like ten brand deals a week and she couldn’t get you to be the face of this?”

Shane tried to avoid glaring at his friend by choosing to, instead, stare at the pictures of his boyfriend that were flashing on the screen along with game warnings and silly hockey animations, “She doesn’t get me ten brand deals a week.”

“Almost,” piped Hayden.

J.J snorted and pointed at the tv, “But Rozanov beat you to this one.”

“J.J,” he warned.

“What?” the man frowned before realisation dawned on him, “Oh. Right. Forgot… he’s your friend now.”

“Yeah, so cool it.”

He shook his head, “That’s still so fucking weird.”

“It’s not weird,” he replied, defensively.

“Of course it is. You’re… you and Rozanov’s an asshole. The charity thing’s cool, I’ll give him that, but he’s still an asshole.”

“Yeah, well, you’re kind of an asshole too.”

His friend laughed as he picked the team he would play as, “Sure but not as much as him. And I think one asshole friend is enough and I was here first.”

He knew he should try to change the topic but he couldn’t help but reply back, “I met him before I met you or even Hayden, actually.”

“Yeah, yeah, but you hated him then. So I’m still first.”

Shane wanted to correct him so badly… but he knew he couldn’t.

“At least he’s not playing for Boston anymore. It’s nice seeing him on a losing streak,” JJ continued to stare at the tv as he picked the players for his team.

God, he hated this conversation.

Shane had been the one to come up with the plan but that didn’t mean he loved seeing his boyfriend, one of the best players of their generation, fail constantly because his team sucked even though he was putting in tremendous amounts of effort and work.

“Ottawa was the worst team in the league and now it’s up a few spots and their stats are looking better all because of him so maybe cut him some slack, he’s doing what he can with the shitty cards he was given.”

“Shouldn’t have traded,” J.J clicked his tongue. “Okay, I’m good. Your turn.”

Hayden silently picked his own team and players.

“So… Capitaine, are we ever getting the scoop? You’re friends now so you must know. Why did he pick fucking Ottawa of all places? What, does he have like a secret child there?”

Shane furrowed his brows, “What? No! No, he doesn’t have a fucking secret kid. I- I don’t fucking know why he came here. Never asked. It’s his business.”

“Boiteux. You’re too nice.”

Hayden cleared his throat, “I mean, who cares at this point, right? Good for us. And for Ottawa. And sucks for Boston. There, I’m done.”

“Whatever, you’re both so lame. Jouons,” J.J waved a hand dismissively and loaded a new session.

“Let’s play,” repeated Hayden, who Shane knew felt just as uncomfortable as him whenever someone brought up Ilya since he knew about the two of them and wasn’t exactly thrilled.

Hayden guessing that Shane was dating Ilya, paired up with J.J always trying to set Shane up with whatever gay guy he found around, had been enough for Shane to decide that it was best to tell J.J about Shane having a boyfriend.

He didn’t mention who it was (obviously) and made it very clear that he couldn’t tell him because his boyfriend was still in the closet but at the very least J.J now knew Shane wasn’t single so there was a little less lying involved.

“I’m gonna destroy you,” chirped J.J at Hayden as a final Ilya-centered loading screen popped up.

“You wish.”

When the screen stopped showing Ilya and the actual game started, Shane sank on the couch, head thrown back as he glared holes at his ceiling.

Not only would he probably not be seeing Ilya anymore, because even if the snow cleared fast enough (and he knew it wouldn’t) they would be too tight on time and Ilya needed to rest too, but Shane now also had to deal with several hours of pretending like he didn’t miss Ilya.

They had been able to spend some days together just last week in Ottawa and then Ilya had also managed to spend two days at Shane’s after that but he was still incredibly annoyed and it didn’t help that Ilya had a long stretch of road games ahead, meaning they wouldn’t be seeing each other for at least two weeks.

So… yeah, he already severely missed Ilya. And he hated that he couldn’t even show it, unlike Hayden who was able to whine all day long about missing his wife and kids.

He could admit to missing his boyfriend out loud but it was best to avoid that too since J.J would start grilling him on his identity, not that he was escaping that either way, Shane knew he would get interrogated before the night was over but he would try to postpone it for as long as possible.

— — —

After they had played a bunch of rounds, they switched to some non sports games and then also watched some weird movie J.J had picked out but it was still early so they were deciding what to watch next when Hayden complained about being hungry (even though he had eaten two whole bags of chips that he had stashed in his car).

“Alright, alright, let me see what I have,” they all headed towards the kitchen, it’s not like they could order in so they would have to make due with whatever Shane had.

“You don’t know what you have in your own fridge and pantry?”

“Do you know what you have in your own fridge and pantry?”

“Okay, that’s different ‘cause I live with my wife and she’s the one who cooks and goes grocery shopping and I’ve offered to help!” he raised his hands up, then dropped them again.

“But I’ve been explicitly told to stay away from all food related stuff, so…” he briefly trailed off.

“You, on the other hand, live by yourself so it’s kinda worrisome if you don’t even know what food you’ve got laying around.”

J.J hummed in agreement, “That’s true.”

Shane straightened up as he opened the fridge, taking a good look at it to avoid seeing his two friends’ reactions, “Uh, yeah, it’s just- I was at my parents’ these days and then the last time I ran out of stuff it was uh- it was actually my boyfriend that went out to grab some things and then cooked so… I’m not too sure, uh- let’s see…”

He focused intensely on the containers in front of him, “Uh- I’ve got some leftover pizza? And, before you ask, no, it’s not normal pizza, and yes, almost every ingredient has been substituted for a healthier alternative, but it is good, okay? You just have to give it a chance. There’s also…”

He moved a few things around, “Some tuna, cheese, some ham, uh- greek yogurt, soy yogurt with berries, some other types of soy yogurt, soy milk, a bunch of salads, oh!”

He pulled out one of the containers and held it out so his friends could see it but he still refused to look at them, “Some brown rice and veggies? That’s nice, right? You guys might like it.”

Putting the container back, he continued, “Uh- whole bunch of tofu which I know you’re both too immature to even try… and some salmon? Four eggs… oh shit, yeah, there is some leftover chicken parmesan but that’s not nearly enough for you two. Um- in the pantry I’m pretty sure-”

He closed the fridge and opened said pantry instead, “Yep. I’ve got some soy beans? And uh- more rice, brown - mostly, but those take a while to cook and I know Hayden has the palate of a ten year old so… how about some bread?”

He grabbed it and set it on the counter, “And yeah, it’s normal, white bread so you can both like… make some sandwiches or something.”

Back to the pantry, “I wouldn’t exactly consider this food, especially not for professional athletes, but… we’ve got some cookies, uh- ugh a bag of marshmallows… a whole bunch of chocolate…”

He couldn’t help the frown that was covering his face, he hated how poorly Ilya ate.

(Well, not hated hated but he was glad that his boyfriend was now occasionally eating a bit healthier because of Shane, still he wasn’t going to prevent Ilya from eating junk food if he really wanted to but Shane didn’t have to like it either.)

“I have a few brown rice crackers left which I know you guys do not care about aaaand… some nachos. Yep. That’s it.”

Finally, he bit the bullet and faced his friends, hoping to sound and look casual.

“So, uh- have at it,” he shrugged. “I’m gonna heat up the leftover brown rice and veggies for myself but you guys feel free to eat whatever you want.”

J.J picked the leftover chicken parmesan Shane’s mother had packed for Ilya, not that J.J knew it was initially intended for Ilya, and quickly re-heated it.

Meanwhile Hayden had decided to make himself several sandwiches but Shane didn’t mind considering he didn’t eat… any of those ingredients, from the white bread to the ham and cheese.

His diet was looser now because he liked to eat the same thing as Ilya sometimes, same way Ilya caved in here and there and ate Shane’s healthier meals too, it was just nice to have semi-normal dinner dates with his boyfriend and a small sacrifice that was definitely worth it, but he was still strict about his diet when Ilya wasn’t around.

They had put on a random hockey game from a few days ago that they hadn’t watched yet as they ate, and Shane knew it was to somehow drown out the awkwardness that had sprung from the whole boyfriend mention, but he seemed to be the only one paying attention to it.

Still, he continued to look at the screen and occasionally made a few comments but eventually J.J, who had been looking at him all funny, spoke up, completely disregarding the game.

“So, you eat junk food now?”

“What?” he snapped his head up.

“Last time I was here your idea of a snack was baby carrots and hummus and now you have marshmallows and chocolate?”

He took another bite of his food, twisting his head back to the screen so he could pretend to be paying attention to the game - even though they all knew he was already aware of the final score, and he eventually let out a small, “No?”

His cheeks burned, he knew he probably looked incredibly stupid and awkward, so he cleared his throat and tried to look… more composed? Hopefully?

“Uh- no. No, I- I mean. Sometimes,” he shrugged. “Sometimes I kinda… try a few things here and there.”

He frowned, “Not the marshmallows though. Never the marshmallows. I’ve seen the ingredients list on those bags.”

Hayden chuckled at that, the brief happy sound alleviated some of Shane’s nerves.

“But uh- no, um, mostly the junk food’s for my boyfriend…”

“Ah, yes, of course. The homme mystérieux,” he pointed his fork down at his own plate, “this was for him too?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “He loves chicken parmesan,” despite the nerves, a small smile escaped him. “A little too much, I think.”

“So, what else does he love? This homme mystérieux you keep so hidden?”

Shane looked to the side, sighing, then back to the other man, “I’ve already told you he’s still in the closet, I can’t tell you who he is.”

“It’s not like I know him,” complained J.J, “nothing would happen if you told me.”

“J.J, drop it,” Hayden came to his rescue.

“I’m not even asking who he is, I asked what he loves. I can get to know the guy without you saying his name. And when he’s ready, we all meet him and have some uh- conversation starters?”

“Conversation starters…” Shane parroted.

“Yeah,” J.J nodded. “Like, does he like hockey? Well-” he took another bite, “he’s dating you so I’m guessing he does. But what else? Does he like uh… videogames? Reading… anything other than junk food?”

“I- yeah, he-” he didn’t want to be suspicious by completely avoiding the question so he decided to respond with, “he likes all of that, sure, yeah.”

Reading he actually didn’t like but Shane didn’t want to single anything out.

J.J snorted, “If he likes hockey then he must know about Rozanov.”

Shane froze.

“What does he think about that?”

When Shane didn’t reply, he persisted, “I mean, I hate to say it but your crush on Rozanov isn’t exactly subtle.”

“What?” he leaned forward, trying to process… whatever was happening.

“Se détendre,” J.J casually replied, “I don’t think Rozanov knows. But you might want to be careful.”

J.J was rarely serious but he looked grave now as he spoke, “He’s Russian so even if you’re his friend, I don’t know, he might not be… accepting.”

“He’s friends with Max Riley,” Hayden jumped in.

“Oh, shit, he is?”

“Yeah, I mean… they’re not like- best friends but I think Max was one of the first players he invited as a coach for the summer camps, right Shane? And he asked Scott Hunter too.”

Shane let out a small “Yeah” followed by a brief nod.

He felt like his whole body was stuck and barely responsive to his brain’s commands.

“Oh, then nevermind, c'est bien!” J.J took another bite before he added, “I was worried. I guess Rozanov isn’t a complete asshole. Still, you might want to be careful. Or does your boyfriend have a crush on Rozanov too?”

The joke was the small spark Shane needed to snap out of his trance and he decided the best route to take was…

“Doesn’t everyone have a crush on Rozanov?” he made a show of rolling his eyes. “He’s always ranked at the top of like, female jersey sales and bachelor shit and whatever.”

J.J frowned, “So fucking unfair! He does not deserve the spot. Weren’t you named GQ’s hottest hockey player? I’m telling you, Capitaine. If I liked men, I’d pick you over Rozanov any time.”

He made a little gesture with his free hand as if to underline his point, “Any time. Forget fucking jersey sales.”

Shane chuckled, feeling less tense, “Yeah, that’s awfully nice of you J.J but I’ll pass.”

In between another bite, his friend rebutted, “Your loss, Capitaine.”

— — —

“Man, I can’t believe it’s still going, it’s barely even slowed down…”

Shane placed a kind hand on Hayden’s shoulder, the many hours that had passed had done little to change the situation, “How about you call Jackie again?”

“He’s right, call your wife and calm down, it’s just snow, she’s at home and so are your kids and everything’s fine.”

“Yeah, yeah, you guys are right. I’m just tired. I’ll call Jackie and then I should try to sleep,” he walked away as he pulled out his phone from his pocket.

“Il va devenir fou si la neige continue à tomber comme ça.”

Shane sighed, “Yeah.” He shook his head, “I mean, hopefully Jackie can calm him down a bit.”

“Hopefully.”

“Anyway, I’ll go grab you some towels and stuff in case you wanna shower and let me know if you need anything else.”

After he grabbed the towels, he went to the guest room J.J was staying in and deposited them on one of the dressers, it was just at that moment that J.J walked in, phone and charger in hand.

“You make a great host my friend.”

“Thanks,” he chuckled.

“Though your food is shit. But thank God for your mystery man’s eating habits, the chicken parmesan was fucking great.”

“Yeah…” he replied stiffly.

“One day I’ll get more information out of you but for now,” he basically jumped onto the bed, then twisted to connect the charger right next to the lamp, “I bid you goodnight. I must get my beauty sleep, I’ve got a date with this smoking hot model next week.”

“Yeah, yeah, goodnight, Romeo,” he closed the door on his way out.

He dropped some clean towels in Hayden’s guest room as well and then decided to wait for him on the couch. It felt rude to just go to bed without asking him if there was anything he needed.

Pulling out his phone, he checked to see if he had any texts from Ilya or his parents and he did, from both.

He opened the family group chat first and smiled seeing a selfie of Ilya with Shane’s parents.

The two men were holding mugs in their hands while Yuna’s was on a coaster on the small table in front of the couch of their living room.

From the angle it was clear that Yuna had been the one taking the selfie and that the liquid contained in those mugs was probably hot chocolate, he could even see a hint of a hot chocolate moustache on Ilya.

They were covered in some old blankets his grandmother had made many years ago and from the window’s reflection he could tell they were watching tv.

Ilya looked so at ease with them, Shane’s heart threatened to burst out of his ribcage and that was even before he read the following texts.

It’s not snowing too much here thankfully but just to be safe, Ilya’s staying with us. Didn’t want him all alone in his house in case the snowstorm reached here and we had to stay holed up, I’m glad you have your friends with you so you’re not alone either. Take care, please❤️

Love you, kiddo! Be careful!

You should charge pike and boiziau 500$ each to stay at night😇

He snorted at his boyfriend’s text and replied to the first one from his mother with, All good here❤️. It’s finally slowing down a bit. Hayden’s a bit freaked out cause you know how he gets, he’s on the phone with Jackie right now. But I’m sure he’ll calm down soon. J.J’s already gone to bed. (And no, Ilya, I’m not charging them but nice try).

Then he added, You guys stay safe too. But don’t coddle Ilya too much. And Ilya, don’t use this as an excuse to eat Dad’s pancakes at all hours, those barely have any nutrients in them.

Then he clicked out of the group chat and entered his and Ilya’s private chat.

I miss you already :( 💔 cannot play with a broken heart

Shane knew he was blushing like a schoolgirl at the moment but thankfully no one was around to witness it.

Maybe this is great time to end things and move on. Haas checks me out a lot and is single, younger. Maybe i date him next. But i keep your parents in the divorce and you can keep my favourite car, fair, no?

He started laughing and muttered to himself, “What a fucking asshole.”

And what a fucking asshole indeed.

Shane loved him so much.

Ah but the kid doesn’t have cute freckles and I don’t think he wears glasses when he reads :( probably doesn’t even read boring hockey books :(

No, he will not do. Need boring glasses and cute freckles. Very specific💔

Shaaaaaane

Shaaaaaaane

Shane

Shane

Maybe I do date Haas then, fine😤😒🙄

I know he has posters of me

Real thing better than posters

Obviously

You would know😉

I can paint freckles on his face

And buy him glasses and tell him to wear them

He will listen. He has posters of me

:)

Not bothering to hide his megawatt smile, he started typing back a reply and quickly sent it.

God, you’re annoying🙄

Don’t you have anything better to do that isn’t bothering me?

And I think Haas is out of your league. Are you forgetting you’d be the Scott Hunter (🦖🦕) of this situation? I don’t know. Haas is young and talented and skilled… I think he can do better than you.

He probably drew devil horns and funny moustaches on those posters, maybe threw darts at them🎯

Speaking of funny moustaches, don’t think I didn’t see you drinking hot cocoa with my parents…

You need to get some water (w a t e r, NOT coke) and vegetables in your system, boyfriend’s orders!

For your next halloween costume you should go as one of those kids touring Wonka’s chocolate factory

Even so… I miss you too, засранец❤️

I was looking forward to a few days together… uninterrupted… this blows (and don’t make a blowjob joke now while I’m commiserating about this change of plans)

It’s gonna be so hard not seeing you for a full two weeks… maybe more. 

Fuck

I hate this, I love you❤️ как бы мне хотелось, чтобы ты был здесь❤️

He waited a bit for a reply but Ilya’s status wasn’t even marked online so he sighed and went back to their family group chat to stare at the selfie again.

All caught up in his own little world, Shane didn’t hear Hayden approaching him from behind and he jumped on the spot hearing his friend’s voice.

“Fuck, it always trips me up remembering that your parents love him. Like… that’s Ilya Rozanov… and they like, love him.”

Hayden leaned down, resting his elbows on the back of the couch, and taking a closer look at the photo open on Shane’s phone.

“Look at that. He almost seems like a normal fucking person there. Scary,” he raised his torso up again and pretended to shiver.

“Shut up,” he blushed and looked back at the selfie.

“Yuck, you look gross right now. All dopey smile and lovey dovey eyes. Over Ilya fucking Rozanov. I need to bleach my eyes.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve done this game before, Hayd,” he sighed. “Everything alright with Jackie?”

“All good, yeah… thankfully. I’m just… you know…”

“Yeah, I know.” He stood up and turned to face his friend, “Uh, I was just waiting to see if you needed anything? Before I go to bed. I already left you some towels if you wanna shower s-”

“No, no, I’m good. Don’t worry. And hey, thanks for this.”

“They’re just towels, Hayden,” he chuckled.

“Shut up, you know what I mean,” he rolled his eyes. “Letting us crash here and waiting up for me. But you’re good, get some shut-eye, I’ll try too.”

“Yeah, of course. Wasn’t gonna leave my two best friends stranded,” he huffed.

“No, I know. I’m just…”

Slowly, Shane asked, “What?”

“Just, I know it’s probably hard to host us now since you let Rozanov stay here too sometimes and his stuff’s scattered around and J.J is kind of a moron, saying so lovingly of course, but he won’t drop the boyfriend topic and, yeah, just… I’m sure you’re all with knots in your stomach over this but you let us crash anyway so… yeah, thanks.”

“Hayd… again, of course. You two are my best friends. Okay? It’s not like I’m hosting over the whole team. It’s fine. Don’t worry. I’m not worried.”

The other man sent him a look that clearly showed disbelief but Shane chose to ignore it.

“Good night, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hayden nodded, “night.”

— — —

The morning after, the snow had cleared enough for Hayden and J.J to leave but first they had had a quick breakfast, with Hayden eating a few more sandwiches again, making Shane frown in disgust at his eating habits, and J.J eating an omelette he had made. Shane had simply eaten some of his soy yogurt.

The two men had also taken a shower, Hayden’s taking barely ten minutes and using the guest bathroom, and J.J’s taking nearly forty, using Shane’s bathroom (Shane knew his friend had definitely used a good amount of his skincare products for the shower to take that long but it’s not like Shane didn’t have enough products to share and Ilya barely even used most of them so there was plenty left).

Hayden had waited for J.J to finish so he could bid goodbye to both his friends but just as he was about to leave, Jackie had called him and he had gone to a different room to talk.

Shane had gone to his room and started working on his laptop, his mother and some people they had hired were the main ones dealing with the Irina Foundation paperwork but he still had a few things to sort out here and there and he figured, if he wasn’t going to be able to meet up with Ilya anyway, he may as well get ahead of the paperwork.

J.J had just finished drying his hair when he popped out of Shane’s bathroom to ask, “Heeey, man. Do you have any of your fancy sponsor colognes?”

“Uh, yeah? Of course? Why?”

J.J looked at him like he was stupid, “To use?”

“Wh-” he frowned, “not that I don’t wanna share or anything but… why do you wanna wear fancy cologne… I thought you were going home. Who are you trying to impress, your neighbours?”

“Ah, no,” he laughed, “Mrs Garcia is lovely but sadly eighty years old and married.”

“Okay? So what?”

“Alright, so, you remember that model chick I told you about?”

“Isn’t that next week?”

“Listen, it was next week but apparently they cancelled her flight yesterday because of the snowstorm and now she’s not gonna make it in time to whatever fashion walk she had anyway so there’s no point leaving! Isn’t it great?”

“Probably not for her…”

“She’s ultra fucking rich and famous, Cap. She’ll be fine. Actually, she’ll be more than fine because, well… you know,” he smirked.

“Ugh, yeah, no. I got it. So you’re meeting with her, like, immediately? At your place?”

“That’s the plan!”

“Well, good for you,” he said in what he knew was probably a deadpan, “and good luck. I’ve got the Armani and Balenciaga colognes in the bathroom, they’re on an organising rack on the sink’s counter. Have at it.”

“Ah, no, no,” J.J wagged his finger back and forth a few times. “You are holding out on me, Capitaine.”

“Uh?”

“I want the fancy fancy ones. The combo you’re always wearing to special events.”

Shane sighed, “Yeah, yeah. I don’t care. Fine. They’re on the central dresser in the walk-in closet.”

J.J cackled, “She’s going to be so impressed. You know models are always annoyed when you don’t layer your scent or whatever? But I’m no good at it, I pick one and go for it, easy. But your fancy combo does smell amazing.”

He hummed back, still busy with the Irina Foundation paperwork.

“Should’ve known you were gay sooner, I guess.”

“J.J,” he warned.

The other man raised his hands up, “I mean it as a compliment!”

Shane sighed, “Yeah, yeah.”

J.J was starting to enter the walk-in closet when he briefly turned back and asked, “What were they called again?”

“You could read the labels, you know? Besides, they’re the only two I keep there so there’s no confusion.” Still, he answered, “One’s Myrrh & Tonka by Jo Malone London and the other one’s Tobacco Vanille by Tom Ford. Spray a bit of each, do not overdo it or it’s gonna be counterproductive.”

“Aye, aye, Cap!”

Shane was still peacefully typing away at his laptop when he realised J.J was taking longer than probably necessary.

“J.J, how many sprays are you doing? You don’t wanna make her sneeze by exaggerating.”

“Uh, no. No, just the two pumps uh-” J.J finally walked out of the closet, “Hollander, what is this?”

“Uh? What’s what?” he asked before he had actually looked up and upon raising his head…

“And not just this, I noticed half of your hangers now have clothes that you’d never wear but that I think I’ve seen before and I think I know who wore them.”

Shane’s panicked brain supplied the first lie he could think of, “You were right!”

“What?”

“Yesterday, at dinner. Um- you’re right. My boyfriend’s a hockey fan, of course, but uh- bad luck there for me, he’s kind of a uh- Rozanov fan? Got a total crush on him. Like, celebrity crush. And it’s stupid but he uh- he buys vintage hockey merch? You know, like, when an athlete wears something and then they put it up for sale for charity? Yeah, so embarrassing but he’s uh- yeah… he- he does that…”

J.J stared at him in silence for a moment, Boston Bears worn out hoodie still clutched in his hands.

Luck would have it it wasn’t any normal Boston Bears hoodie, not even any normal Ilya Rozanov hoodie, no, it just so happened to be those promotional hoodies they gave out to the players and staff only.

The ones that could get you a fortune if sold online because of the scarcity and such, thus his stupid, on the spot lie.

“Hollander,” J.J eventually broke the silence, “what the fuck?”

“Yeah, no, it’s totally messed up, huh? But he spent money on it and he likes to wear it when he’s lazying around so I couldn’t exactly tell him to throw it away or…”

“I’m not stupid,” he twisted the old hoodie into a little ball and rudely threw it in Shane’s general direction. “Your boyfriend isn’t a fucking Rozanov fan… your boyfriend is Rozanov, isn’t it?”

Shane stared at him, mouth opening and closing repeatedly a couple of times.

“Go ahead, tell me I’m wrong,” J.J waited.

But Shane didn’t know what to say.

“I have to get Hayden in here,” J.J looked towards the door that led to the rest of the apartment.

“Wait, J.J-”

“Pike!” he bellowed out.

A muffled reply came back.

“Get in here!”

“J.J!”

His friend ignored him.

“Hey,” Hayden walked in, looking at the two of them with confusion and worry, “what is it, guys?”

J.J gestured wildly in the direction of Ilya’s balled up hoodie on the bed by Shane’s side.

“Uh?” Hayden muttered, still evidently confused.

“Boston hoodie,” he supplied. “Rozanov Boston hoodie. In his closet. Along with several other clothes that I’ve seen a certain Russian wear.”

Hayden straightened up, “Ah.”

“Ah?” J.J shrieked. “That’s it? That’s all you say? Putain, aren’t you- what…”

Apparently, it took him a minute to connect the dots.

“Wait…”

Shane sighed, “J.J, look, I-”

His friend’s head swivelled back and forth between him and Hayden a few times, “He knew?”

Back to Hayden now, “You knew?”

“He didn’t tell me, alright? I figured it out myself.”

J.J sent him a disbelieving look and Hayden scoffed, “Alright, fuck you, man. I did figure it out!”

He pointed to Shane, “The only times I’ve ever seen Shane leave our hotel room during road games was in Boston, then Rozanov moved to Ottawa and Shane stopped doing that but now he’s spending all this time-” he did air quotes, “visiting his parents in Ottawa and he never answers his phone when he’s there and then there’s the whole Boston Lily thing… Lily… Ilya.”

Hayden snorted, “Really fucking stupid cover name so yeah. I connected the dots. I mean, why the fuck else would Rozanov move to fucking Ottawa otherwise? After Shane came out he said Boston Lily was a man and that’s why he was always so secretive about it but if it had been a regular guy, why break things off after coming out? If anything, being out to the team should’ve made it easier for him to sneak out.”

“Okay, foutre! You figured it out! So, what? Never felt the need to include me?”

“It wasn’t up to me, J.J,” Hayden calmly replied.

The still angry man turned back to Shane, expectedly.

“It’s… complicated, J.J.”

“Yeah, no, shit! It’s Rozanov! How on earth did you think that wasn’t going to be complicated? Maybe you should’ve thought of it sooner.”

“Fuck you! Will you please sit down and let me explain at least? Before you start spewing shit about stuff you don’t know about?”

“And whose fault is it that I don’t know anything about this?”

“No one’s!”

“You mean yours,” he accused back.

“No, J.J. There’s no one to blame here. It’s not- no gay, queer, whatever, person owes anyone a coming out or any sort of explanation like that.”

“But you already came out!”

“Exactly. I did. I have. And I did that because it was my choice, not because I owe it to you or anyone else, but I don’t owe you my boyfriend’s secret. I don’t get to come out for Ilya.”

“So what? You just-” J.J took a deep breath, “you just let me believe you hated him? All this time? I mean, I realised later you had some fucking crush on him but… before that, I thought you hated him and that the fucking crush was more just, I don’t know, about his fucking looks, not…”

“It’s not only my fucking secret, J.J.”

He had tried being patient, he really had, but J.J wasn’t making it easy on him and Hayden standing there quietly certainly wasn’t helping.

“Could you stop to consider that for maybe two seconds? Do you have any idea what could happen to Ilya if this got out? And I’m not talking career wise,” he paused for a moment. 

“Or actually, yeah, let’s talk about the hockey of it all. Ilya’s here on a work visa, a work visa which requires for him to work here, obviously. You understand how a work visa works? If this gets out and say, we’re both kicked out or something, you do realise that would affect his papers here in Canada?”

He pressed, “Right? You do understand that?”

He didn’t wait for an answer.

“And he can’t apply for citizenship yet because in the five years before applying, you need to have been in Canada for 1095 full days, which he hasn’t reached yet since that’s a whole three years and he’s got road games in the States half the time.”

Something Shane had been agonising about for quite some time now.

“And do you also realise that if Hayden hadn’t known already, you would’ve just outed Ilya to him, right? Do you get that? Do you even care?”

He let out a dry laugh, “Fuck. No, what am I even talking about? You don’t care. Neither of you do. None of you have even an ounce of sympathy for Ilya, over… what? Him chirping and being good on the ice? Is that literally it? You guys talk about him like he’s Dallas Kent for fuck’s sake.”

“He’s never hurt anyone off the ice and even on the ice, he’s rough at most, he’s never willingly or unwillingly caused any career ending injuries and the few times he’s broken noses it was in retaliation.”

Ilya did start a lot of fights but the heavy, big ones had always been started by other players and he had simply counter-attacked.

“Boston hates me too but I’ve never seen them hold such… vitriol against me. But with our fucking team, it’s like Ilya’s the devil himself but then again, assholes like Kent get a pass from half of the locker room.”

He quickly added, “I know not from you two. I know you at least hate him as well but in what fucking world are the two of them even comparable?”

The silence stung.

And yet… it also felt…

Freeing.

The realisation almost knocked the breath out of him.

“You know…” he started again, more quietly this time, “Ilya’s been vouching for you this whole time too, that’s what really sucks about this. Besides from, you know, the literal danger that you two running your mouths could cause.”

He huffed, “In case you didn’t know, the second it gets out that Ilya isn’t straight, he can never go home again. As in never ever. They’ve got fucking, anti-gay propaganda laws over there for public figures and actually, I think regular citizens too. Still… he knows you’re my-”

Something overcame him and for a moment he struggled letting the word out.

The once simple, automatic word.

“Friends.” he eventually let out, weakly.

“He knows you’re my friends and he encourages me to spend time with you guys and yeah, he chirps and is especially always making fun of Hayden but he’s always been happy for me for having you two as friends and he’s never even suggested for me to stop seeing you two just because you’re always chirping at him and I-”

His shoulders dropped, exhaustion overtaking him in an instant.

“I- I’m so… tired of you two never allowing him any grace. I’m so fucking tired of it.”

The look in his friends’ eyes… strangely enough it both satisfied an angry but usually quiet part of Shane but it also…

“Maybe… you two should go home already.”

“Shane-”

“Go,” he didn’t bother with a please. “Both of you.”

Maybe the uncomfortable conversation would eventually lead somewhere, maybe his friends would start trying from that point forward, maybe…

But Shane wasn’t all that hopeful.

So maybe… it was actually time to start making some new friends.

There were actually a few people who came to mind.

Rumors of Shane’s coming out had spread to the entire NHL it seemed and the Centaurs had been incredibly nice about it…

Maybe there were better options out there for Shane…And maybe, just maybe, he would start considering them after all.