Chapter 1

Step 1: Figure out that your best friend is secretly gay. Hayden Pike knows that his best friend is weird about girls. Shane doesn’t engage in locker room conversations about dating and he never brags about getting laid, even when their teammates try to pry it out of him. One time he came into the locker room with mouth-shaped bruises peppered across his torso and thighs and red scratch marks etched on his back. Despite it being ridiculously obvious where the marks were from, Shane refused to admit that he had hooked up with anyone. “Damn, Hollander!” Their goaltender Patrice Drapeau hollers, looking Shane up and down. “Did you have sex with a fucking bear?” “What? No! What are you talking about?” Shane splutters. His entire face is bright red, the blush spreading across his chest. “You are covered in hickeys and scratches, dude,” J.J. informs him. The entire team turns to look. “No, I’m not!” Shane denies, tugging on his shirt faster, his entire face blushing to the tips of his ears. “I probably just fell or…something,” he trails off at the end, probably realizing how stupid the excuse sounds. “You fell,” Hadyen repeats incredulously, raising an eyebrow. “Into whose vagina?” “Fuck off. I’m making all of you do sprints,” Shane grumbles. So Shane does fuck, even if he doesn’t talk about it or bring girls around. He doesn’t flirt at bars or clubs, even when J.J. tries to introduce him to the friends of whatever girl he’s talking to. Hayden’s never seen him go home with anyone, and he’d know if Shane did since they share a room on most of their away games. He finds the whole thing a little strange, but after a while, he just figures that Shane’s just not a hook-up kind of guy, that he needs an emotional connection. But then, Shane brushes off every one of Jackie’s many attempts to find him a girlfriend. The one time she did manage to rope him into a double date with her extremely hot pilates instructor, he acted stilted and uncomfortable the entire time. He was polite, but clearly disinterested. Hayden just can’t understand it. She seemed perfect for him: kind, sort of shy, obsessed with hockey. If Shane wouldn’t even give her a chance, who would he date? Things start to click into place when he sits next to Shane on a bus ride to Ottawa and witnesses him texting someone for the entire two hour drive, smiling as his thumbs fly over the keyboard. Hayden only manages to see the name “Lily” before Shane notices Hayden peeking and immediately tilts his screen away. “What are you looking at?” Shane asks, fixing him with a glare. “Nothing,” Hayden has to stifle a laugh at Shane’s immediate defensiveness. “Who are you texting?” “My mom,” Shane says. “Oh, that was your mom? Tell her I say hello,” Hayden says with a shit-eating grin. Shane picks up on none of his sarcasm and just replies, “Yeah, ok.” So Shane has a secret girlfriend. That’s why he always turns down attempts to set him up, why he doesn’t seem interested in any girls ever. He must really be in love with this girl. The only part Hayden can’t make sense of is why Shane wouldn’t tell him about it. It’s been two years since Hayden first noticed “Lily” now. Hayden continues to catch Shane grinning like an idiot whenever a text from her pops up, yet he still hasn’t mentioned it! And when Hayden asks outright if he’s seeing anybody, he denies it. Hayden doesn’t understand his secrecy. Shane was the first person outside his family to hold Arthur when he was born, he comes over for dinner at least twice a month, and they’ve been friends for years. Why won’t Shane just tell him what’s going on in his life? Hayden finally brings it up at an away game in Boston, when Shane’s being completely unsubtle about leaving to go meet up with Lily. “I’m heading out for a bit,” Shane says. “Cool,” Hayden continues to unpack his suitcase. “Uh, to meet a friend,” Shane continues, like he’s expecting him to ask questions. “Nice.” “I’ll be back later.” “I won’t wait up,” Hayden promises. “It’s not like that,” Shane explains, quick to defend an accusation that Hayden hasn't even made yet. “It’s just a friend.” “So, Lily’s just a buddy?” Hayden asks, relishing the shocked look on Shane’s face. “What?” Shane asks breathily, his eyes wide and a little terrified. “Chill out man, I know you text some girl named Lily.” “I don’t!” Shane insists. The continuing denial is weird, but Hayden can’t say it’s unexpected. “Ok, go get laid, weirdo. Or don’t, I don’t care.” Hayden tells him, trying to play it cool. Getting Shane to open up is harder than getting Arthur to eat his dinner without throwing it on the floor (ie: virtually impossible.) Shane returns a couple hours later in a pisspoor mood, looking like someone kicked his puppy. He’s wearing a pair black sweatpants that he wasn’t wearing when he left, and they’ve been rolled up at the ankle a few times. “Are you alright?” Hayden asks. “Yeah, I’m fine,” Shane replies shortly, clearly upset. His eyes are red and watery. “Did something happen with Lily?” “No, there is no Lily—” Shane cuts himself off abruptly, letting out a deep breath. “Whatever. I’m going to shower,” he mutters, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door with a bit more force than necessary. Shane seems to get over whatever happened with the mysterious Lily pretty quickly, because a couple months later he goes and pulls Rose goddamn Landry and Hayden thinks finally, finally someone is worthy of Shane’s impossible standards. But he acts a bit miserable for the two seconds their relationship lasts, seeming even a bit relieved when it ends. Whenever anyone asks why they broke it off, he just says something vague like “We’re better off as friends.” “I don’t understand why he won’t tell me about Lily. Or tell me the real reason that he and Landry broke it off,” Hayden complains to Jackie one night, laying in her lap as she absentmindedly scratches his head. “I mean, we’re best friends! And I tell him everything!” “Ok, hear me out,” Jackie says. “Maybe Shane isn’t into girls?” “What?” Hayden lets out a shocked laugh and sits up completely to face his wife, who looks completely serious. “Shane’s not gay. What about Rose and Lily?” “Exactly!” Jackie nods, eyes lighting up. Hayden can almost see her train of thought picking up speed. “What about Rose? She’s gorgeous, funny, nice and she really seemed to like Shane. So why would they break up after only a few weeks of dating?” “Shane said they weren’t compatible,” Hayden defends. “Not compatible,” Jackie repeats incredulously, like she’s struck gold. “He used the words ‘not compatible?” “Yeah, so?” “You know who’s not compatible? Gay men and straight women!” “Well, what about Lily?” “You mean, the Lily that he never lets you meet and that you’ve never seen any pictures of, despite the fact that they’ve been talking for years?” “What are you saying?” Hayden asks, his brain on overdrive. “Hayd, he’s Shane Hollander. If he got caught sexting someone named David or Steve, it would make international headlines. Do you think Lily could actually be a guy and that’s why he never told you about her? Why he gets weird and denies it whenever you bring it up?” And suddenly, everything clicks into place. Hayden replays years of memories in an instant— Shane’s obvious discomfort when girls flirt with him, his secrecy about dating, “There is no Lily–” “Oh my god,” he realizes with startling clarity, “Shane’s gay.” He feels a wave of hurt that Shane never told him, but that feeling is quickly replaced by ice cold guilt. How many years has Shane been dealing with this by himself, unable to be honest with his closest family and friends? He can’t imagine how lonely that must feel. He wants to shower Shane with love and support, to let him know that he will always love him no matter what gender he’s into. He wants to buy a Love is Love bumper sticker, to make Shane feel safe to fully be himself around Hayden and Jackie. But, Shane hasn’t actually told him he’s gay yet, which makes these grand plans of Hayden’s somewhat moot. And Hayden can’t just ask Shane if he’s gay, Shane would totally freak out. But maybe, if Hayden plays his cards right, he can get Shane to tell Hayden himself. This is where steps 2-5 come in.

Chapter 2

Chapter Notes

my new year's resolution is to post more on ao3. it adds more whimsy to my life See the end of the chapter for more notes Step 2: Showcase your support for the LGBTQ+ community. Let your friend know that you’re an ally. “Hey, have you seen Love, Simon? The new movie about the gay kid,” Hayden says one afternoon as they’re leaving practice, walking to the parking lot. Shane’s entire body immediately tenses up. “No,” Shane says carefully, eyes doing a quick scan to make sure no one’s within earshot before giving Hayden an odd look. “Why?” “I want to go see it, will you come with?” Jackie suggested that bringing gay people into conversation somehow could give Shane the opportunity to open up. But again, getting Shane to open up is like trying to pry a nail out of a wall with a toothpick. “You wanna take me to see a movie about a gay high schooler?” Shane clarifies, like he’s not sure if Hayden actually just asked that or if he possibly hit his head too hard on the ice. “Someone’s gotta buy the popcorn, and last time I checked, only one of us is getting checks for their perfume campaign.” “It’s cologne,” Shane corrects. “It’s ridiculous. ‘Fearless. Intense. Bold,” Hayden imitates Shane’s lines in the commercial in a deep voice. He had a field day when that ad came out, teasing Shane relentlessly for months. “Have you ever wanted to smell like a douchebag?” Shane replies easily and any awkward tension between them dissolves. Their next day off, they drive to the movies at 9 in the morning, both wearing baseball caps although Hayden never gets recognized anyway. They’re the only people in the theater and Hayden openly cries through half the movie. Having kids has made him so soft. Shane’s eyes are similarly red when they leave. “I really liked that movie. Queer representation is important,” Hayden says, recycling the phrase from a Wikihow article titled “How to support your gay friends.” “Yeah,” Shane agrees quietly, a small smile on his face. He doesn’t confess anything, but Hayden feels like he chipped away at one of his many walls. The next time he gets an opportunity to “be an ally” is on the ice. Homophobic slurs are frequently thrown around as shit-talk during games; Hayden’s been hearing it for his entire career. It makes him furious to imagine how often Shane must hear these comments and never rise to it, never give it a reaction. Hayden would have definitely hit somebody by now if he was in that position. They’re playing in Pittsburgh and the Voyageurs are two points up. The other team is furious, and their asshole captain, Liam Colon, is playing aggressively and he’s already been sent to the penalty box twice. Moments before Colon is finally about to score their first point of the game, Shane steals the puck and passes it to Hayden. Colon shouts “Fuck you, cocksuckers!” at the two of them and without thinking, Hayden shouts back, “There’s nothing wrong with sucking cock!” Colon has already skated away, the words lost to him over the screams of fans and the skid of sticks on ice. Shane heard him though, and he’s laughing and looking at Hayden like he’s fucking insane. He hits their helmets together before he skates off, setting up for the next faceoff. Maybe this plan could actually work, Hayden thinks. But after putting a Love is Love bumper sticker on Jackie’s minivan and weeks of playing Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” in the locker room, Shane still hasn’t confessed anything, so Hayden decides it’s time to go on the offense.

Step 3: If your friend doesn’t bring up their sexuality on their own, try subtly hinting that you know. “So, Jackie has this friend,” Hayden begins. “Hayd, I told you I don’t want to date right now,” Shane protests. “Well, this is a guy friend. Maybe you’d want to meet him?” Shane frowns, clearly confused. “Okay? Is he a fan or something?” “No, but he could be your fan,” Hayden says with a wink. “What are you talking about?” Shane asks, clearly not picking up any hints. Hayden sighs. “Never mind, let’s go to practice,” he grumbles, resolving to try again later. The fact that Shane’s gay changes nothing about Hayden’s plan for him. Shane needs to get married and have kids–firstly, so Jackie can have a new WAG friend (although they might need to add a B and H to that acronym) and secondly, so that their kids can grow up and marry each other. Then, they can be grandparents together and live in houses next door to each other. That night, Shane comes over to babysit so he and Jackie can go on their monthly date night. As soon as Shane walks in the door, he’s greeted with the twins rushing him at the door shouting “Uncle Shane!” He picks them up and spins them around, their giggles echoing down the hallway. The girls are talking over each other, racing each other to update him on what they learned in dance this week and what they’re doing in school. Shane manages to pay equal attention to both of them, asking earnest follow-up questions and holding their hands as they walk to the kitchen. The girls run upstairs to get some new toy to show him and Shane goes to get out a Ginger-Ale like he always does, spying the new pride flag magnet that Jackie stuck to the fridge. “That’s new,” Shane comments, opening his drink and taking a sip. He didn’t even ask a question but Hayden feels the need to justify it somehow anyway. “Uh, we think Arthur’s gay,” he blurts out in a panic. “Arthur’s two,” Shane points out skeptically. “Well,” Hayden shrugs. “What was that, honey?” He shouts, pretending to hear Jackie from upstairs. “Our reservation is right now and we have to go?” He shouts again. “What are you talking about?” Jackie says from right behind him. Hayden turns around to see her sitting at the bottom of the staircase and strapping on her heels. “You guys think Arthur’s gay?” Shane asks her, eyebrows raised. Jackie looks at Hayden, who just shrugs and mouths “Fridge magnet, I panicked” to her. To Jackie’s credit, she doesn’t even blink before rolling with it. “Maybe,” she says diplomatically, standing and walking over to Shane. “But if he or any of our kids were gay, we’d want them to know that we love and support them. And we’re here whenever they’re ready,” she puts her hand on Shane’s arm, making deep eye contact that he quickly looks away from. “Yeah, of course, that makes sense,” he responds, his eyes fixed on the ground. Jackie kisses him once on the cheek before grabbing Hayden’s hand and leading him out the door. “Arthur’s asleep, we’ll be back at 10, we love you, Shane,” she says and Hayden is so so in love with this perfect woman. “Love guys too,” Shane looks confused and slightly suspicious, like he knows he just got tricked but he’s not sure how. It’s the exact same face that Ruby made when she figured out they’d been sneaking broccoli into her mac and cheese. Jackie bursts into giggles as soon as they’re outside and the door is shut. “You told him you think Arthur’s gay?” She asks through fits of laughter. “I don’t know!” Hayden says defensively. She just laughs harder, breathlessly. “That was a nice speech though. But do you think he’s ever actually going to tell us himself?” “I think he will when he’s ready to,” Jackie says wisely. “I think we’ve done what we can to let him know that we’re a safe space. Now we just have to wait.”

Step 4: Support your friend while he’s coming out. Coming out can be intimidating, so make sure to be encouraging and accepting. Hayden’s never been more rattled than the day he saw Shane hurt in the Raiders game. He’s seen players go down on the ice before, groaning as they hit the boards, dazed as they sit on the ice being checked over by the medics. But Shane’s hit scares him more than any of them, because Shane stays silent, crumpled. He doesn’t move at all, Hayden can’t even tell if he’s breathing. Hayden’s vision goes red, tunneling in on the player responsible. “Marlow, you motherfucker!” Hayden’s gloves are on the ice and he’s hitting Marlow. For the most part, Marlow just stands there and lets him, which takes a lot of the satisfaction out of it. When he finishes with Marlow and is being escorted to the penalty box, he sees Rozanov of all people lingering on the ice. The medics are yelling at him to go back to his bench but he stays, gaze fixed on Shane’s unmoving form, expression terrified. “Is he okay? Fucking tell me!” Rozanov shouts, his voice angry and wrought with worry. The whole interaction is strange, but Hayden’s too worried about Shane to give it much thought, and he’s got a game to play. Rozanov seems detached the rest of the game, like his thoughts are elsewhere. Maybe the hit against Shane reminded him that even great players can get hurt. Hayden can’t think of another reason why he’d be this unnerved about it. Montreal’s coach lets them know that Shane’s okay as soon as they get back to the locker room; he’s out for the season but will make a quick recovery. Hayden wants to go visit him immediately, despite being covered in sweat and exhausted from playing, but Coach tells him that visitor hours are over until the morning, so he goes home instead. He gets to the hospital at 8:55 a.m., determined to be the first one to see Shane when visiting hours begin at 9. He signs his name on a clipboard at the front desk and asks the receptionist if he can visit Shane. “There’s someone who arrived before you, but you can visit with him second,” she tells him, nodding towards the waiting room. “He’s been waiting all night.” Nothing could have prepared Hayden to turn around and see Ilya Fucking Rozanov in the waiting room. He’s sleeping, his large body curled uncomfortably in the small chair. Even asleep he looks as tense as he did at last night’s game, mouth in a straight line and a wrinkle of worry between his eyebrows. What the actual fuck? “Mr. Rozanov,” the receptionist calls, loud enough that it startles Rozanov awake. “You can go see him now.” “No, hang on, what?” Hayden asks, still in shock over the fact that Ilya Fucking Rozanov was apparently so upset about Shane’s injury that he spent an entire night in the hospital waiting room. Rozanov stands and stretches obnoxiously. “Is tradition for team captain to visit injured player,” he says simply, like that fully explains the absurdity of this situation. “Is it tradition to spend the night?” Hayden asks incredulously. “She exaggerates,” Rozanov says, earning an offended look from the receptionist. “I have not been here that long.” His wrinkled clothes and the bags under his eyes tell a different story, but Hayden doesn’t have a chance to argue before Rozanov is heading down the hallway, going into what must be Shane’s room. Hayden can just barely hear a very drugged up sounding Shane excitedly say “Ilyaaaaa” before Rozanov pulls the door shut behind him. “What in the motherfuck?” He says to himself, alone in the waiting room. He watches the door in silent confusion for the next several minutes until Rozanov finally steps out, looking a bit more settled. “All yours,” Rozanov tells Hayden as he leaves. Hayden rushes down the hall immediately, desperate to know the contents of the conversation that the two of them just had. Shane’s curled up in the hospital bed, arm in a sling and his face purple and red, but he looks worlds better than he did on the ice last night. “Hey, Hayd,” Shane says, sounding tired and a little bit high. Seeing not sober Shane is such a rare sight that Hayden wants to soak it in, but he won’t make too much fun of him while he’s injured. “Hi, buddy. You doing okay?” Shane nods a couple times. “Yeah, I’m on a lot of drugs so the pain isn’t too bad.” “So Rozanov came to visit you, huh?” Hayden asks and to his surprise, Shane’s face fucking lights up. “Yeah, it was nice,” Shane says with a soft smile. Hayden stares at him for a few seconds with raised eyebrows and Shane seems to remember he’s supposed to hate Rozanov. “For an asshole,” he quickly adds on, schooling his features into a frown. “He’s an asshole, I don’t like that guy.” So not only did Shane’s biggest rival spend the night in a hospital waiting room to visit him after a couple of minor injuries, but also Shane enjoyed it? Hayden leaves the visit more dumbfounded than he was when he first saw Rozanov, but then Montreal’s scrambling to find a new game plan to somehow make it through the playoffs without Hollander (they don’t) and then Jackie gives birth to their fourth (and hopefully final) baby, so the next few weeks don’t leave him with a lot of time to ponder it. Hayden doesn’t even see Shane in person again until the new season’s about to start, since he spent the summer in Ottawa at his cottage. When Shane gets to their house, he looks well-rested and happy in a way that goes deeper than just his injuries being healed. The usual tension in his shoulders seems relaxed, like the enormous weight he carries on his shoulders has been lifted a little bit. The sadness that’s always lingered in the back of his eyes has been replaced with peace. Hayd wonders if it has something to do with Scott Hunter’s coming out. Shane meets Amber for the first time and is sickeningly sweet with her, as he is with all of their kids. “Thank god she looks like Jackie,” he chirps at Hayden, staring down at Amber in his arms. “Shut the fuck up, man.” Shane cooks them dinner since they have no energy with the new baby. They spend a while chatting in the living room, taking turns passing around their kids and catching up about their summers. After a couple hours, it’s getting late and they’re about to say goodbye to Shane so they can put the kids to bed. “Actually, could I possibly talk to you guys alone? Without the kids? I just need to, um. It’s nothing, I just need to talk to you guys,” Shane fixes his eyes on the ground and fidgets with his hands, clearly nervous. “Of course, honey. We’ll put them to bed and try to be back down in 15,” Jackie tells him, shooting Hayden a mouthed “oh my god” as soon as they’re out of Shane’s sight. “Do you think it’s finally happening?” she asks as they’re settling Amber in her crib. “I think it might be,” Hayden says, grabbing the baby monitor. “I feel like I should make a cake or something,” Jackie says. “Right now?” “Like rainbow cookies?” “No.” “You’re no fun,” she tells him. They head back downstairs, settling on the couch across from Shane, who looks like he’s about to pass out from nerves. “So um,” Shane pauses for a few seconds, looking like he doesn’t quite know where to start. “You guys are obviously my best friends and I want you to know about my life. But I’ve been keeping something from you and I’m sorry.” He pauses, gathering the strength to say the next words. “I’m gay.” “Fucking finally,” Hayden says, at the same time Jackie says. “I’m so proud of you, Shane.” Hayden stands and hauls Shane to his feet, pulling him into a tight hug. “I love you, buddy,” he says. “We completely support you. Although I wish you would’ve told us before Jackie spent years trying to set you up.” Shane laughs, palatable relief on his face. “Well, there’s actually a reason I didn’t tell you guys earlier. But you guys cannot freak out and you cannot tell anybody,” Shane says sternly. Jackie and Hayden exchange a look, wondering what this could possibly be about. “Of course,” Jackie says. “You can tell us anything,” Hayden encourages. “Okay,” Shane says, taking a deep breath. “I’m dating Ilya Rozanov.”

Chapter End Notes

hayden and jackie pike adopt me pls. also ik i said it would only be two chapters but it made more sense to split it into three im sorry im gonna get the next one posted asap

Chapter 3

Chapter Notes

jackie “walk’em like a dog” pike and hayden “i do what my wife says” pike See the end of the chapter for more notes Step 5: Find out your best friend is secretly fucking his archrival. Try your best to be normal about this realization. Have a dinner party about it. Hayden laughs, because Shane’s joke is hilarious. Then he sees his expression, earnest and serious and not at all kidding. “No,” he denies, unbelieving. Shane just nods, looking a little regretful. “You and Rozanov?” Hayden’s voice is several notches louder than he means it to be. Shane nods again. “You and Rozanov are dating,” he clarifies, still waiting for Shane to deny it. He’s half- expecting a camera crew to come out and yell “You just walked the prank!” “Yes,” Shane confirms. Hayden puts his head between his knees to stop his head from spinning. This can’t be real. All the times Rozanov slammed Shane into the boards or teased him about needing training skates replay in his head—Shane’s dating that guy? He starts reimagining all his dreams of his and Shane’s future to incorporate Ilya Rozanov. Having Ilya Rozanov over for dinner every week. Living next door to Ilya Rozanov. Having one of his kids marry a Rozanov. Oh god. Hayden takes five deep breaths then comes back up to look at Shane. Just be an ally, Hayden, he says to himself. It probably took a lot for Shane to tell you this, so just be supportive. “That’s okay,” Hayden forces the words out. “If he makes you happy, then I’m happy.” “You look like you wanna die,” Shane says bluntly. “That’s because it’s Ilya Rozanov!” Hayden shouts, unable to contain his outburst. Jackie silences him with a look and he remembers the kids are sleeping. But Ilya Rozanov is a total asshole and Shane is the nicest and most considerate person on the planet! It doesn’t make any sense. “How did this happen?” Jackie leans forward, her eyes sparkling with curiosity and her insatiable love for gossip. Hayden is interested to know the answer too, because how the fuck do the NHL's biggest rivals end up secretly gay dating? “We were secretly, sort of, something, for a really long time,” Shane admits. “But Hunter coming out made us realize that maybe we could actually have a shot at being together for real. And he’s moving to Ottawa for me.” “What?!” Hayden can’t believe what he’s hearing. Ottawa is one of the worst teams in the league and Rozanov is one of the best players. Ottawa probably can’t afford to pay him what Boston can and it’s a much more boring place to live, yet Rozanov would uproot his entire life and move there for Shane? The same Rozanov who’s always seen with different women and is constantly getting into fights on the ice? “This is so enemies to lovers,” Jackie mutters under her breath, almost subconsciously. “Um, what?” Shane asks her. “You guys hated each other obsessively, but then that obsession turned into love! This is literally a rom-com and I need to know everything,” Jackie squeals, repeatedly hitting Shane’s shoulder. Shane smiles, relieved, then looks to Hayden, who just raises an eyebrow at him. “Rozanov?” He asks again, dragging out the syllables to emphasize how fucking bonkers the idea is. “It would mean a lot to me if you tried to get along with him,” Shane says. Hayden sighs. “Next time that he’s in town, we would love to have the both of you over for dinner,” Jackie says, ignoring Hayden’s spluttering and protesting. “I’m sure everyone will get along great,” she says to Hayden, and from the tone of her voice, he knows that it’s an order. A pretty tall fucking order if you ask him. “For you, I will be nice,” Hayden tells Shane, whose smile is brighter than the sun. “But just know that not punching him will take a heroic amount of effort on my part.” “I appreciate it,” Shane says, sounding like he means it. Which is how Hayden finds himself answering the door a few weeks later to Ilya fucking Rozanov and Shane. Standing together, not as rivals, but as boyfriends. This is going to be weird. “Hello,” Rozanov says with a smile, and something about the way he talks makes you feel like he’s thinking about all the times he’s beaten you in hockey. Hayden grits his teeth. “Hi,” Jackie ushers them inside and gives both of them hugs, which Rozanov did not look prepared for but awkwardly returned. Rozanov then looks at Hayden awkwardly, like he’s not sure how he’s supposed to greet him. “I’m not hugging you,” Hayden says, just to get it out there. “No shit,” Rozanov replies, deadpan. “Here is wine,” he thrusts an expensive looking wine bottle towards Jackie, who takes it gratefully and ushers them all into the kitchen. They sip wine and snack on the appetizers Jackie prepared for a while, with Shane and Jackie carrying the conversation mostly and Hayden desperately trying to think of something to say to Ilya Rozanov that isn’t “hey remember that time you shoved me into the boards so hard my nose broke?” “You have gay magnet for Shane?” Ilya eventually asks, pointing at the fridge. He sounds impressed and Hayden is glad they can talk about the one thing they have in common besides hockey: loving Shane. So Hayden says “Yes” at the same time Shane says “No, it’s for Arthur.” He whips around to look at Hayden. “What? You got that way before I came out,” Shane accuses. Hayden and Jackie exchange a look, silently debating who’s going to be the one to handle this. Jackie does, because she’s always been the more tactically graceful of the two. “Well, we got it to support you for whenever you did want to come out to us,” Jackie explains with a shrug. “You guys knew I was gay before I told you?” Shane looks shocked. Ilya’s mouth turns up at the corners, in a fond smile, watching Shane. He looks sweet, which is an expression he didn’t even know Rozanov’s face was capable of forming. “You’re not very subtle, dude. Don’t worry, I don’t think anyone else knows,” Hayden says after seeing the panicked look on Shane’s face. “But we’re your best friends, so yeah, we picked up on it after a while.” Shane looks like he’s replaying something in his mind, and Hayden can see the moment it clicks. “Is this why you took me to see Love, Simon?” Shane asks, sounding outraged. Hayden nods regretfully and Ilya is fully cackling in their kitchen now. Shane’s glaring at them both. “You didn’t notice?” Ilya asks, choking on his laughter. “How was I supposed to know?” Shane grumbles, but Hayden can tell that deep down he’s kind of touched. “He took you to see the gayest fucking movie ever!” Ilya cries out, tears of laughter forming in his eyes, and Hayden can’t help but join in. Shane’s a genius, but he’s also the most oblivious person ever. Hours later, they’re in-between rounds of Charades, (Jackie and Ilya are a surprising power duo) when Shane has to leave to take a call from his agent and Jackie leaves to check on dessert, leaving Ilya and Hayden alone for the first time. Time for the shovel talk. “Ilya, now that you’re dating my best friend, I’ve got to set some ground rules.” Ilya doesn’t protest, just looks at him mildly annoyed. Hayden was expecting him to protest more. He hadn’t actually prepared much of a speech beyond yelling at Rozanov to pay attention to him, so he’s left scrambling a bit. “Listen, I love Shane,” he says, because it seems like a safe way to begin. “Not more than I love Shane,” Ilya interrupts territorially. “What? Just shut the fuck up and listen. Shane is a great guy and he deserves to be with a great guy. So when you’re with him, be that good guy,” Hayden tries to point his finger menacingly but ends up just feeling like he’s scolding one of his kids. He really should have prepared something. “This is worst speech ever,” Ilya drawls, accent thick around the words. “If you break his heart, I'll break your face,” Hayden threatens, giving up on any niceties. “Oh, big threat coming from Montreal’s 15th best player,” Ilya teases, sounding bored. “Rozanov,” Hayden says warningly. Ilya rolls his eyes. “I will not hurt Shane,” he promises. It’s the first time Hayden’s ever heard him sound completely serious. A few moments later, Shane comes back from his phone call, every part of his body tense. He says it’s nothing when they ask him about it, but Ilya pokes him on the thigh and looks at him intently, gently prying. Shane gives in. “I was supposed to pick my parents up from the airport, but they rescheduled my commercial shoot to be the same day. I can’t get out of it, but I promised them I’d pick them up because my mom has this weird fear that she’s going to get murdered by an Uber driver and–” Shane cuts himself off with a sigh. “Whatever, I’ll figure it out.” Hayden’s seen Shane spiral over stuff like this before. He’s not a big fan of change, even changing restaurants for team dinners last minute can make him panicky, although he tries not to let it show. Hayden’s about to say something vaguely apologetic and reassuring when Ilya steps in. “I will pick Yuna and David up from the airport,” Ilya says easily, dispelling Shane’s worries in a single sentence. “Don’t you have preseason training?” Shane asks. “I will skip, I don’t need it,” Ilya says, all brazen confidence, which earns a small smile from Shane. “Don’t worry, I will not let your parents get kidnapped in an Uber,” Ilya squeezes his knee. Shane nods and just like that he’s okay again. Hayden hates to give Ilya the credit, but he’s good to Shane. He knows him well enough to read his body language and know when he’s freaking out, knows exactly what to do to calm him down before he spirals. As Hayden’s watching them, he can’t help but think that the decade-long media narrative about Hollander versus Rozanov is wrong. It was always supposed to be Shane and Ilya. It was always supposed to be this.

Chapter End Notes

thank you for all the love on this fic! im wishing you all love and happiness and a whimsical 2026

End Notes

i can so see hayden trying to be an ally by getting a Love is Love bumper sticker and just playing lady gaga's rain one me in the locker room all the time, he's such a dad. Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!