Preface
Is Lily oomf?
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/85012776.
- Rating:
- Mature
- Archive Warning:
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Category:
- M/M
- Fandom:
- Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
- Relationship:
- Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
- Characters:
- Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Hayden Pike, Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais, Svetlana Vetrova, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau
- Additional Tags:
- Social Media, Sexting, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov Calls Shane Hollander a Slut, Attempt at Humor, the author does not know twitter and it shows, Post-Book 2: Heated Rivalry (Game Changers), Established Relationship, shane is a little ooc, but i think he could do it
- Language:
- English
- Stats:
- Published: 2026-05-17 Completed: 2026-05-18 Words: 6,186 Chapters: 3/3
Is Lily oomf?
Summary
camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole
OMGGG guys the craziest thing just happened i was in line at the grocery store behind shane mf Hollander (!!!!!) and he was on his phone messages on full display and ig hes got a gf and theyre FREAKYYY?? sorry the pics are a lil blurry but i was trying to be discreet ykor: Shane and Ilya should have invested in privacy screen protectors. They didn't, and now the whole world knows about Lily and Jane.
Notes
When I started writing this, I thought it would be a quick, fun little project. Three weeks and a corrupted file that nearly made me lose my mind later, here I am, learning html syntax for the people in my phone.
I am ESL and really new to this, so please feel free to point out any mistakes you spot. Enjoy!
Chapter 1: in which the world meets Lily
Chapter Summary
Shane is the most careful person alive, especially when it has to do with his and Ilya's relationship. Except when he isn't.
Obviously, this is all Ilya's fault
Chapter Notes
JULY 2018
camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole OMGGG guys the craziest thing just happened i was in line at the grocery store behind shane mf Hollander (!!!!!) and he was on his phone messages on full display and ig hes got a gf and theyre FREAKYYY?? sorry the pics are a lil blurry but i was trying to be discreet yk [blurry, zoomed in photos of a very fit man with dark hair holding his phone, turned away from the camera, screen visible]
[transcript]
Lily: come baaaack i miss u
Shane: There are still 6 people in line before me
Shane: I think it’s the cashier’s first day, it’s taking a while
Shane: But I’ve literally been gone for an hour, calm down
Lily: shane
Lily: i know u miss me too
Shane: [gif : Ilya saying ‘Lie. Liar told you this’]
Lily: HA! i knew you looooved me
Shane: Alright I walked right into that one
Shane: But seriously, I’ll be home in thirty, so just behave until then
Lily: fine but i will suck your dick as soon as you get there
Shane: THAT’S NOT BEHAVING YOU ASSHOLE
Shane: I’M STILL IN PUBLIC
Lily: no you are right i forgot you like giving head more than receiving it
Lily: and ur mouth is soooo good too yk is the best i have ever had
Lily: so i should have said: i will put you on your knees as soon as you get there
Shane: !!!!!
Shane: STOP IT
Lily: shhhh do not act like you do not like it
Lily: i know u love it when i tell you what to do
Lily: bet you are hard rn
Shane: Fuck off
Lily: hurry back
Shane: Or what?
Shane: What’s your dramatic ass going to do if I don’t?
Lily: maybe edge you like last week
Lily: no it would not be punishment for you
Lily: i will think of something
Lily: u love my dramatic ass anyway
Shane: I do really love you ass
Shane: And your drama
Shane: Cashier is ringing the groceries, I’ll be home soon ❤️
Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
OMG SHANE HOLLANDER TAKEN? SHANE HOLLANDER SECRET FREAK?? SHANE HOLLANDER PUSSY EATER EXTRAORDINAIRE??? SHANE HOLLANDER SUBBBB?????
➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
lily ily can i be your friend? pls pls pls u sound so fun➤➤24 the goat @voyyageurs24
k but lowkey she must b so hot? like she pulled 5 times Cosmopolitan’s Hottest NHL Player Shane Hollander she HAS to be➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
she texts like shes hot too
➤amy @hollzyhattie
But also? Loverboy? He misses her after an hour apart? He loves her drama?
➤future mrs rozanov @puckbunnyy81
SHANE HOLLANDER SECRET ILYA FAN??? ROZY DOMINATION➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
no frfr this one took me OUT wdym he’s using his biggest rival to FLIRT?➤➤➤William @willplayshockey
It has to be an inside joke, no? Why would she answer like that otherwise?➤➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
lowkey hilarious tho didnt think hockey robot shane hollander could be funny like that
future mrs rozanov @puckbunnyy81
It’s always the quiet ones…
➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
ngl was not expecting that from canadas golden boy shane hollander but ill take it
shayden real @shayden4eva
shane bbg wth?
➤Hayden Pike #1 fan @pikerlvr35
babe I don’t think you can still call him babygirl after that one 😭😭➤➤amy @hollzyhattie
I mean… this could read DDbg but gender swapped? So MDbb?➤➤➤new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
babe i wont kink shame but i will kink ask why (genuinely)➤➤➤➤amy @hollzyhattie
check you dms
voyageurs dynasty manifestation @wowageurs
Ok everyone is focused on the freakiness but can we talk abt the curses? He’s always so polite in media what is that?
➤Lindsey @Lindseyy377
yeah also ik she doesn’t seem to mind it but like calling your gf an asshole is…➤➤taylor 🌟 @taytaydomination
istg men 🙄➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
“dramatic ass” too fr i was expecting better from him but ig hes just another misogynistic jock➤➤➤➤24 the goat @voyyageurs24
not a rozanov fan saying this istg 🙄➤➤➤➤amy @hollzyhattie
Come on the guy is one of the only nhl players to regularly talk about the pwhl and he always goes out of his way to correct reporters. Also I get the vibe that Lily would not put up with someone who doesn’t respect her➤➤➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
ok? that proves nothing?
➤Brad @hockeyfanbrad
you’re a bunch of pussies its hockey ofc he says fuck at least he’s eating pussy like a real man and not this woke pussy hunter➤➤voyageurs dynasty manifestation @wowageurs
I don’t like Hunter and the agenda he pushes but please mind your choice of words, there could be kids reading this➤➤➤marina @marinara_555
Two homophobes blocked in one go, very efficient➤➤➤gee @geezuschrist
maam if there are kids here i don’t think the biggest problem is this guys potty mouth
➤➤24 the goat @voyyageurs24
fuck you brad as if youve ever seen a real pussy➤➤William @willplayshockey
It’s *you’re not *your, at least check your grammar before being homophobic online next time➤➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
try not to say pussy for one (1) second challenge failed➤➤➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
im a wlw and even i don’t think about it as much as you do
Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
wait wait wait oomf is named lily @shanehollandersgf IS THIS YOU????
➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
hi 😎➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
OMG SHANE HOLLANDERS ACTUAL GF IS OOMF???➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
lily if this is real you are my new role model ily➤➤24 the goat @voyyageurs24
wtf lily has been a fan account for years? is this true like its not a coincidence???➤➤➤new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
girl if it’s a coincidence then oomf should play the lottery➤➤➤➤amy @hollzyhattie
Ok but if I’d bagged THEE Shane Hollander I wouldn’t have lurked as a fan account for years? Wth?➤➤➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
true like why would you keep it a secret? @shanehollanderhockeyplayer are you ashamed of your gf or smth➤➤➤➤➤➤new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
omg not you TAGGING HIM???➤➤➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
he was not my bf when i made the account➤➤➤➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
also I do not want the media attention we like it better that way➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
screaming crying throwing up wym THEE Shane Hollander fell for a FAN ACCOUNT? A FAN ACCOUNT THATS NOT ME??? some ppl (lily) just live my dreams and arent grateful enough
GO BEARS @bearsontop
Hollander is such a fairy I would never let my girl talk to me like that
➤24 the goat @voyyageurs24
what girl? the one on the cover of your mangas? go kys
➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
fellas is it gay to *checks notes* sext a woman? another addition to the Blockedex™
Hayden Pike ✅ @pike35
@shanehollanderhockeyplayer is this Boston Lily?? You finally decided to settle down? AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME???
➤Hayden Pike ✅ @pike35
Wait is this why you’re on a “silent retreat” again this summer➤➤JJ Boizzz ✅ @jjboiziau
didn’t think you had it in you capitaine 🤣 🤣 so when do we finally meet lily?➤➤OG hollanov truther @hollanover
Shane Hollander’s gf lives in BOSTON? 👀👀➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
lmaoooo not shane hollander dating a BOSTON PUCK BUNNY➤➤➤➤William @willplayshockey
That could explain the Rozanov gif somewhat➤➤➤➤➤amy @hollzyhattie
I could see them using the rivalry as a way to chirp or sth
➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
not pike spilling more tea than the original post [eyes rolling emoji]➤➤➤Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer
And not you basically confirming everything➤➤➤➤Ilya notice me!! @rozyssidepiece
oh so he does actually have a personality 🙄 ill admit that was kinda sassy➤➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
OMG @shanehollandersgf IS LILY CONFIRMED ICANTBREAFKHIO➤➤➤➤➤new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
i’m crashing out wym my fav just confirmed his gf has been oofm for LITERAL YEARS
➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
“again”? sir how long has this been going on?➤➤➤katie rozanova @mrsrozanova81
ilya would never➤➤➤➤24 the goat @voyyageurs24
yeah cos hes a manwhore hes not settling➤➤➤➤➤2481 @hollanovsthird
wth no slutshaming in this household➤➤➤➤➤➤24 the goat @voyyageurs24
great youre one of THESE ppl 🙄
➤➤➤Hayden Pike #1 fan @pikerlvr35
and why is lily a secret even to shane’s bff??? @shanehollanderhockeyplayer care to defend yourself➤➤➤➤Hayden Pike ✅ @pike35
WHAT SHE SAID➤➤➤➤➤Hayden Pike #1 fan @pikerlvr35
*they➤➤➤➤➤➤Hayden Pike ✅ @pike35
WHAT THEY SAID➤➤➤➤➤➤➤24 for 35 @shaydenmyshayla
hayden pike queer ally confirmed? 👀➤➤➤➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
i do not need to meet montreal’s 15th best player 🙄➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
lmfao forgot lily was a pike hater for a moment➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Hayden Pike ✅ @pike35
@shanehollanderhockeyplayer wth control your gf➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer
Lily.➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
fine ill stop 🙄➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
ooooh so it goes both ways huh? 🥵🥵 [liked by @shanehollandersgf]➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤24 the goat @voyyageurs24
sis folded faster than a cheap lawn chair lmao
➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤OG hollanov truther @hollanover
is it just me or is this specific insult familiar? #noticing➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤24 for 35 @shaydenmyshayla
stfu shes just a r*zanov fan➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤OG hollanov truther @hollanover
I didn’t even say anything and yet you knew who I was talking abt…
Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
sooo…. from what I get from pikes comment….. shane and lily were just… yk… doing the nasty for a while before making it official? @shanehollandersgf did I get that right? 👀
➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
😇➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
OMGGGG➤➤➤amy @hollzyhattie
The concept of Shane Hollander, golden boy of hockey, never seen with a woman except R*SE L*ANDRY in 8 yrs in the NHL, never had the hint of a scandal in his name,,,, having a regular hookup for a while (???) and getting caUGHT SEXTING HER IN PUBLIC➤➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
WAIT SO @shanehollandersgf DID YOU CREATE A FAN ACC BEFORE OR AFTER YOU STARTED HOOKIN UP???➤➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
holly i like you you always have good questions and i really like your @➤➤➤➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
ty but WHAT DOES IT MEANNNNN
gee @geezuschrist
I’m living for the contrast between Shane “perfect grammar autocaps on” Hollander and his gf Lily “punctuation? don’t know her” Doe
➤marina @ marinara_555
They’re so real for that , they’re just like my autistic ass and my golden retriever gf➤➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
they also bicker and chirp just like us i looove love
➤new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
lily doe is NOT IT we need smth else➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
lily hollander sounds good right? 🥰➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
omg LILY??? @shanehollanderhockeyplayer you need to GET ON YOUR KNEES INDEED [liked by @shanehollandersgf]
ROSE MY QUEEN @roses4rose
OMG ROSES EX IS A SUB? ROSE IS A DOM CONFIRMED??
➤amy @hollzyhattie
Girl they were a thing for like 2 weeks if anything they broke up because she’s NOT a dom➤➤ROSE MY QUEEN @roses4rose
i hate it when ppl crush my dreams with logic
24 for 35 @shaydenmyshayla
shayden prayer circle tonite 😭😭😭
➤shayden real @shayden4eva
Nonono I can still find an explanation for this wait➤➤shayden real @shayden4eva
It’s a PR stunt to throw us off➤➤➤shayden real @shayden4eva
Lily is actually Hayden they have code names so they’re not outed➤➤➤➤Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
Girl wtf did you smoke wouldn’t it be more suspicious if they didn’t have each other in their contacts➤➤➤➤➤new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
nurse they’re out again
24 the goat @voyyageurs24
ok hear me out Shane bratty sub
➤amy @hollzyhattie
Oooh yeah I see it➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
oh 100%
future mrs rozanov @puckbunnyy81
Alright who is this hoe (affectionate) and how can I add her to my girls gc
➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
fr girl we need to add her to our collection of divas she deserves better than shane wet blanket hollander➤➤future mrs rozanov @puckbunnyy81
I get where you’re coming from but you can’t call him a wet blanket after that one I fear 😭
➤amy @hollzyhattie
And is she in the wags chat!!! @jackie_35➤➤24 the goat @voyyageurs24
oooh yk the tea is HOT if she is➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
HOT LIKE HER BOYTOY I MEAN BOYFRIEND [liked by @shanehollandersgf]➤➤➤➤amy @hollzyhattie
Omg holly you cant say that
➤➤Jackie Pike @jackie_35
NO she is NOT @shanehollanderhockeyplayer give me that number
OG hollanov truther @hollanover
The way Lily writes feels really familiar 👀 also Lily/Ilya?
➤new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
omgggg stop it with your rpf bs these are 2 st8 guys
➤Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
girl I see it it has to be➤➤amy @hollzyhattie
Bsffr yes Lily is horny and cocky and probably ESL but that could be ANYONE stop the delulu Shane would never➤➤➤Lindsey @Lindseyy377
also rozanov is just the most aggressively straight guy ever have you been on the internet in the last 8 years➤➤➤➤2481 @hollanovsthird
Ok so bisexual ppl exist and also he hasn’t been spotted with a woman in over A YEAR➤➤➤➤➤Lindsey @Lindseyy377
he’s just better at hiding it now, he’s probably trying to clear his image now that he’s joining OTT➤➤➤➤➤➤centaurs ftw @delusionalcens
thank u for the reminder that this GOAT is coming to fix my team 🥰
amy @hollzyhattie
Ok so this is what we know abt Lily: Shane’s gf, ESL, had a fan acc for years, has been with Shane seriously for probably at least a year, was casual for some time b4 that, hasn’t been introduced to Shane’s friends and Montreal WAGS, is dominant in bed but folds when Shane reprimands her? Did I forget sth?
➤future mrs rozanov @puckbunnyy81
You forgot to add that she’s a ✨Pike hater✨ [liked by @shanehollandersgf]➤➤24 the goat @voyyageurs24
don’t forget r*zanov/be*rs fan 🤮🤮🤮
Chapter End Notes
At this point of the timeline, the Voyageurs know that Shane's gay, but Hayden hasn't figured out that Lily=Ilya yet. So he and JJ are careful about not using pronouns; Hayden has been studying about LGBT+ communities, which is why he corrected himself when he used the wrong pronouns for his #1 fan (he doesn't understand gender fluidity, but he's heard of preferred pronouns before and how validationg they can be).
Chapter 2: in which the world meets Jane
Chapter Summary
After what happened to Shane less than two years ago, Ilya should have known better than texting Jane in broad daylight.
But he did it anyway.
Chapter Notes
FEBRUARY 2020
emma’s adventures in NY @emmasadventures
hey so crazy thing happened I’m visiting my parents for the weekend and I was minding my business drinking my coffee and I noticed Ilya Rozanov next to me texts in full view and like sir is it even legal to be this shamelessly horny? anyway here’s what I could catch [pictures of a tall, built man with light brown curly hair, sitting at a cafe table with his back to the camera but face reflected in the mirror next to him, phone in hand]
[transcript]
Jane: The plane is delayed, I won’t be able to make it before dinner :(
Ilya: is ok sweetheart, is not your fault
Jane: But I was really looking forward to what we had planned…
Ilya: we still have all night 😈
Jane: True, but you know me
Jane: I can’t wait for you to fold me like a pretzel and fuck me through the mattress
Ilya: ehgrfbv
Ilya: is so funny everyone thinks u are prude but no, u are biggest slut
Ilya: greediest hole
Jane: Shut up no I’m not
Ilya: i guess u are not in public rn
Jane: Well obviously I wouldn’t text you like that otherwise
Jane: Now I don’t know if I want to talk to you anymore
Ilya: noooo please dont go i love it
Ilya: come on
Ilya: i know you love when I call you my slut
Ilya: last time you came when i said it
Jane: Fuck you
Jane: Fuck
Jane: Don’t you fucking say it
Ilya: more like fuck me please
Jane: Oh my fucking god I can’t with you
Ilya: no i know you loooove me
Jane: Sometimes I really wonder why 🙄
Ilya: u love my cock
Jane: Obviously I do but you know that’s not just that right?
Jane: I love you so much ❤️
Ilya: yes i know sweetheart ❤️ thank you
Ilya: i love you more
Ilya: i cant wait to see you ❤️
future mrs rozanov @puckbunnyy81
Holy emotional whiplash what did I just read
➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
who’s jane and how did she manage to lock down Ilya manwhore Rozanov (affectionate)➤➤Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
that man is down CATASTOPHICLY bad I’m crine
➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
from “roz has a gf?” to “#freak4freak” to “jane you sassy queen” to “how tf did it get so sweet so quickly”➤➤emma’s adventures in NY @emmasadventures
frfr and like the tone shifted so fast idk what jane picked up on but she KNEW➤➤➤emma’s adventures in NY @emmasadventures
also he was smiling like the sappiest idiot the whole time➤➤➤➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
ilya and jane sitting in a tree K I S S I N G
laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
roz horny at 2pm on a tuesday lmao fork found in kitchen
➤24 the goat @voyyageurs24
is that man ever NOT horny istg 🙄 classless➤➤Ilya notice me!! @rozyssidepiece
riiight bc your boy hasnt been caught being horny in line at the grocery store juts last year➤➤➤24 the goat @voyyageurs24
well at least HE tried to keep it pg for a moment➤➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
yeah for like 2 seconds stfu
Svetlana @svetavetrova
@ilyarozanov81 glad to see you finally pulled your head out off your ass and made it official with Jane
➤Ilya notice me!! @rozyssidepiece
He pulled her out of the roster omfg why not meee
➤Cliff ✅ @cliffmarleau
bro its been years with this montreal chick when did you lock that down?➤➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
omg yearsssss?➤➤Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozanov81
oh so now everyone wants to tell my secrets? @rozysplainjane1221 u got smth to add?➤➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
People need to know that you’re actually the biggest sap➤➤➤➤Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozanov81
shhh is just for you➤➤➤➤➤Ilya notice me!! @rozyssidepiece
wth #LoverboyRoz confirmed ig
➤➤➤➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
!!!! JANE IS OOMF KJMHESF➤➤➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
u good?➤➤➤➤➤➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
no I died and woke up in a parallel universe I think 💀
➤➤➤➤➤amy @hollzyhattie
So I looked and Jane created this account in july 2018 and has been mostly fan posting abt Rozanov but it’s relatively tame➤➤➤➤➤➤amy @hollzyhattie
Is it bad that I’m a little disappointed by the lack of thirst➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
from what I get from the texts she’s probably shy (see: “everyone thinks u are prude”) but really freaky with roz➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozanov81
yes 😈 only with me➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
ILYA WHAT THE FUCK➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozanov81
what? everyone knows already
➤➤➤➤➤➤OG hollanov truther @hollanover
Hmmm july 2018 👀 #noticing➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
guuuurl 👀➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
fuck the rpf people are here again ur still not tired??
Ilya notice me!! @rozyssidepiece
nooooo not rozy being taken I never found out if those 9 inches rumors were true
➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
down girl
➤katie rozanova @mrsrozanova81
don’t worry he prob still have his roster hes not satisfied with this prude➤➤24 the goat @voyyageurs24
girl i hate r*zanov with a passion but bffr have u acc read the texts that woman is not a prude➤➤taylor 🌟 @taytaydomination
i think we still have a shot he’s a hockey player and a womanizer he’s clearly not settling down with just one girl especially not one like that➤➤➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
ok so this is unhinged
➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
@rozysplainjane1221 you got sth to share with the class? 👀➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
🥵🥵🥵➤➤➤Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozanov81
😏➤➤➤➤future mrs rozanov @puckbunnyy81
Not Jilya flirting via emoji in the comments of their sexts leak lmfao
Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
WAIT JANE IS FROM MONTREAL??? @ilyarozanov81 DID YOU MOVE TO OTTAWA FOR @rozysplainjane1221
➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
😇❤️➤➤centaurs ftw @delusionalcens
who else suddenly wants to send a fruit basket to jane➤➤➤camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole
🤚
➤➤Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozanov81
and i would do it again➤➤➤GO BEARS @bearsontop
Jfc did we really lose rozy bc of a fucking chick if hes such a simp i don’t want him on my team➤➤➤➤centaurs ftw @delusionalcens
sooo which one is it then? are you mad or glad that he left boston?➤➤➤➤➤GO BEARS @bearsontop
Fuck off
➤➤➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
that man is WHIPPED jane you are my new favorite person➤➤➤➤marina @marinara_555
Hey!!!➤➤➤➤➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
sorry baby but come on
➤➤➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
oh so by years you mean YEARS okok I’m so not crashing out over this➤➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
he moved in 2018 so it’s been at least 2 years and ig you don’t move for some1 you just met/made official so idk I think 3-4 years?➤➤➤➤➤Hayden Pike #1 fan @pikerlvr35
girl hockey players move FAST most of them get married after a few months of dating and have kids in the first year➤➤➤➤➤➤amy @hollzyhattie
true but this is Rozanov we’re talking abt I don’t think he’s the king of commitment especially since it’s been at MINIMUM 2 years and nobody knows abt her➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Hayden Pike #1 fan @pikerlvr35
and isn’t that sus too like why hide it? Is she ugly or smth?➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozanov81
my jane is the most beautiful person on earth you take that back➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozanov81
also why is there a pike fan in my comments go away➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya notice me!! @rozyssidepiece
lmaooo classic pike shade
➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole
#LoverboyRoz➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Hayden Pike #1 fan @pikerlvr35
Then what’s up with the secrecy➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozanov81
my jane is private.➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
not the period that is a man whos tired of ur bs
katie rozanova @mrsrozanova81
what are those dry ass texts from that ho jane like why would you shut him down like that
➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
well roz seems to like it so maybe don’t call her a ho? also dry?? she’s talking abt being put through the mattress???➤➤katie rozanova @mrsrozanova81
stfu clearly she cant handle him hes slept with so many women how could he be satisfied with THAT➤➤➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
ok so actually you’re jealous because you never managed to sleep with him when he was in his slut era➤➤➤➤katie rozanova @mrsrozanova81
fuck u
24 the goat @voyyageurs24
not r*zanov copying my shane by getting a secret gf
➤marina @marinara_555
If I had a nickel for every time a (seemingly) single hockey superstar got caught sexting his secret gf in public I’d have 2 nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice➤➤2481 @hollanovsthird
right 👀 im starting a #rumor➤➤➤katie rozanova @mrsrozanova81
urgh i cant with u ppl
OG hollanov truther @hollanover
This feels familiar… The way Jane and Shane write… The way Lily and Ilya write… The banter… Shane/Jane telling Lily/Ilya to fuck off… Lily being from Boston and Jane from Montreal… #noticing
➤2481 @hollanovsthird
the names too!! shane/jane and ilya/lily come on➤➤camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole
girl I think if you’re trying to hide you don’t use names THIS obvious➤➤➤2481 @hollanovsthird
were talking abt hockey players here babe they wld b this obvious i fear➤➤➤➤camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole
nah come on I have faith in them
➤future mrs rozanov @puckbunnyy81
Yk now that I look at it side by side there’s sth…➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
oomf NOT YOU TOO➤➤➤future mrs rozanov @puckbunnyy81
I’m sorry 😔 it just works ok? And it’s hot too➤➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
holy batman the implications of shane being jane and ilya being lily 🥵➤➤➤➤➤Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
ikr?? 🥵🥵🥵
➤William @willplayshockey
Those are just coincidences. Hollander and Rozanov are friends, and probably have been for a little while before starting their charity. They are both high profile, and I could see them exchanging tips on how to keep their respective relationships private➤➤Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
and I could see them touching tips… what who said that not me➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
WAIT shane and ilya are friends HAVE JANE AND LILY MET @shanehollandersgf @rozysplainjane1221➤➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
Yes, Lily and I have known each other for years➤➤➤➤camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole
omfg FOR YEARS➤➤➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
why is it always “for years” TELL US HOW MANY PLSSSS➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
No 😇
➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
biblically 😏➤➤➤➤➤2481 @hollanovsthird
OMGGGG?➤➤➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
JHEFHBAHO BISEXUAL QUEENS [liked by @shanehollandersgf]➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
LILY➤➤➤➤➤➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
soooo ilya and hollander’s girls have had sex with e/o at least once and we can assume that the boys know if they’re talking abt it… @shanehollandersgf who introduced who to who➤➤➤➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
a girl doesnt kiss and tell 🤫
Brad @hockeyfanbrad
im disapointed in rozanov y did he move to fuckass otawa for pussy make her move to boston you pussy
➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
i couldve sworn I had you blocked how are you still here➤➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
and how are you still thinking abt pussy more than me
➤Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
ewww misogynist begone
taylor 🌟 @taytaydomination
ok but “fold me like a pretzel and fuck me through the mattress”? I don’t even go there but hotttt
➤new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
right? 🥵➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
yk the reunion sex is nastyyyy➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
god has favorites and its @shanehollandersgf and @rozysplainjane1221➤➤➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
Yes➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
yes that is true➤➤➤➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
girl if god has favorites it’s Roz and Hollzy➤➤➤➤➤Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozanov81
yes this is also true➤➤➤➤➤Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer
I agree➤➤➤➤➤➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
omfg you weren’t supposed to find this 💀➤➤➤➤➤➤marina @marinara_555
They’re such saps for each other love is real guys 🥹➤➤➤➤➤➤➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
babe??? was love not real for you b4 that???➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤marina @marinara_555
Sorry love but come on
24 for 35 @shaydenmyshayla
right so were all supposed to act like r*ozanov suddenly stopped whoring himself
➤shayden real @shayden4eva
Girl you know I love you but let’s not say stuff like that
➤Ilya notice me!! @rozyssidepiece
seriously whats your problem what did he do to you➤➤24 for 35 @shaydenmyshayla
hes an asshole to my babies➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
your “babies” are grown adults pretty sure they can deal with it➤➤➤OG hollanov truther @hollanover
And yet! Ilya has never dropped gloves against Shane #noticing➤➤➤➤future mrs rozanov @puckbunnyy81
Urghhh fine I’ll change my username these boys are too damn sus
future mrs rozanov @puckbunnyy81 changed their username to hollanov’s daughter @puckbunnyy81
Chapter End Notes
If you're confused about the change of tone in the texts, Ilya is really starting to feel like a dirty secret. He's questionning wether Shane actually loves him for him and not just for sex. He knows it's just his insecurities talking, but his text is slightly off and I decided that Shane would pick up on that, even if he doesn't know exactly what's wrong.
Chapter 3: in which the world connects the dots
Chapter Summary
Shane and Ilya have been outed by Brad, and have confirmed that they are "in a committed, romantic relationship, and have been for several years."
A certain corner of the internet connects the dots, chaos ensues.
Chapter Notes
MARCH 2021
OG hollanov truther @hollanover
Ok I feel like enough time has passed can we circle back to those text leaks now? [pictures from both posts by @cami_camisole and @emmasadventures]
Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
“enough time has passed” mind you they confirmed their relationship yesterday
Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
LIJZGEBF SOMEHOW I FORGOT ABT THAT
➤Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
so that means shane=jane and ilya=lily right?➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
wait a fucking minute does that mean shane hollander and ilya rozanov are oomfs @shanehollanderhockeyplayer @ilyarozanov81 @shanehollandersgf @rozysplainjane1221 SOMEONE TALK➤➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
I don’t know what you’re talking about, Holly – S➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
that would just be crazy – I➤➤➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
zfibjiqrpk hi
2481 @hollanovsthird reposted from @cami_camisole “girl I think if you’re trying to hide you don’t use names THIS obvious”
sooo wanna talk abt that
➤camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole
istg these dumbasses (affectionate)➤➤2481 @hollanovsthird
@shanehollandersgf @rozysplainjane1221 what do you have to say for yourselves?➤➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
In my defense, I didn’t choose the names➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
and in MY defense it worked➤➤➤➤➤camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole
ykw? cant argue with that ig we out-dumbassed the dumbasses➤➤➤➤➤hollanov’s daughter @puckbunnyy81
Not Shane throwing Ilya under the bus➤➤➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
yes he is so mean to me 😢
Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
i’m the most vindicated woman on earth rn
➤OG hollanov truther @hollanover
Right there with you, but I’m just so angry on their behalf bc of how it happened➤➤Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
yeah i can’t imagine what it must feel like to be outed especially when you’re THEM➤➤➤hollanov’s daughter @puckbunnyy81
Queer men in the nhl, superstar players, pitted against e/o since the beginning, also Ilya is RUSSIAN I don’t think he can ever go back there now➤➤➤➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
oh shit I hadn’t thought abt russia that’s awful fuck you brad➤➤➤➤➤Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
fuck you brad➤➤➤➤➤➤hollanov’s daughter @puckbunnyy81
Fuck you brad➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
fuck you brad➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
fuck you brad➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤marina @marinara_555
Fuck you Brad➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
fuck you brad [liked by @rozysplainjane1221]
centaurs ftw @delusionalcens
damn so now i have to send flower to the captain of the voyageurs? Fuck it ill do it
➤camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole
wow Shane Hollander is the reason why Ottawa might go to the playoffs this year 🫠➤➤emma’s adventures in NY @emmasadventures
a sentence I never expected to read EVER➤➤➤centaurs ftw @delusionalcens
when u think abt it hes a hometown boy he couldve signed there at some point and made the team playoff contenders➤➤➤➤camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole
alright what abt “the cens might go to the playoffs this year bc the voyageurs captain is in gay love with his biggest rival”➤➤➤➤➤centaurs ftw @delusionalcens
yea that ones fkn unreal
lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
as a queer hockey fan, the news was both elating (their relationship) and heartbreaking (the outing), but as a nosy (and horny) hollanov fan… hot 🥵
➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
yes yes we are very hot and we have very hot sex and everyone is jealous of us➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
I don’t think the internet needs to know any more about our sex life➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
but they could learn so much from us➤➤➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
Oh yeah? Like what?➤➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
like that one time with the exercise ball…➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
Fuck. Where are you?➤➤➤➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
already in the gym➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
… HOT 🥵🥵🥵➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤OG hollanov truther @hollanover
Hollanov flirting on main… I never thought I’d see the day…➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤2481 @hollanovsthird
girl the whole point is that theyre NOT on main➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
also that’s not flirting that’s straight up sexting like you guys do realise this isn’t a private chat right?➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤OG hollanov truther @hollanover
Yeah atp if Shane ever says “stop we’re in public”, nobody’s believing him➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤lucy not the bad movie @lucioleloves
hollanov #freak4freak
Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
ooooh look at me im ilya rozanov, generational talent and multimillionaire, and I go home to my bf shane mf hollander and call him my slut and get to admire his freckles everyday girl fuck you
➤amy @hollzyhattie
FML il*a r*zanov calls shane his slut I really didn’t need to know that➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
OMFG I JUST REALISED SHANE GIVES THE BEST BLOWJOBS OF ILYAS LIFE➤➤➤Ilya notice me!! @rozyssidepiece
ilya has slept with like hundreds of women how is SHANE HOLLANDER the BEST HES EVER HAD im never recovering from this➤➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
ig only the greatest lay of his life would be able to lock him down➤➤➤➤➤Ilya notice me!! @rozyssidepiece
srsly what did hollander do to pull ilya➤➤➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
he just exists. the question you should ask is how did i pull him➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya notice me!! @rozyssidepiece
#LoverboyRoz ig
gee @geezuschrist
Okay but aside from the hotness of it all, can we talk abt the trope? This is some serious rivals to lovers shit. And the timeline? They confirmed being together for “several years” (which we know means at least since 2018 and even probably 2017?), but if you look at their comments, they were probably hooking up for “““a while””” before that. So maybe rivals to fwb to lovers. But when exactly? How?
➤hollanov’s daughter @puckbunnyy81
Ngl I went on a Hollanov deep dive last year after Ilya’s text leak and the consensus is all stars 2017. They played for the first time on the same team and seemed to really click on the ice. Also Shane was with Rose L*ndry before that, and this is around the time Ilya stopped being papped going out with women➤➤gee @geezuschrist
Wow that’s thorough but it doesn’t track with the fwb bit I think?➤➤➤OG hollanov truther @hollanover
Well we don’t know what “a while” means, it could’ve started at all stars lasted a few months and gotten serious late 2017, with some time as bfs before free agency and ilya’s move
GO BEARS @bearsontop
I didn’t think Rozanov was a cocksucker on top of pussy-whipped but now I’m really glad he’s not playing for Boston anymore, especially if he gets his dick wet in a mtl player
➤centaurs ftw @delusionalcens
well im glad hes not playing for boston too, you dont deserve him you homophobic asshole➤➤amy @hollzyhattie
Also you should probably say dickmatized or bussy-whipped if you want to be more accurate➤➤➤GO BEARS @bearsontop
Fuck you Hollander is a pussy I know he takes it up the ass➤➤➤➤Ilya notice me!! @rozyssidepiece
clearly you think abt the mechanics of gay sex a lot, are you perhaps interested?➤➤➤➤➤GO BEARS @bearsontop
Fuck off that shit’s disgusting I’m not a fucking fairy
new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
i feel like i owe some ppl an apology 🤢 sorry @hollanover @hollanovsthird @shilya81 🤮 i cant believe my conscience made me do this
➤Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
awww you hanging in there sweetie?➤➤new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
barely 🤢
➤2481 @hollanovsthird
if god hates the gays why do we keep winninnnng➤➤OG hollanov truther @hollanover
Girl aren’t you straight?➤➤➤2481 @hollanovsthird
and every day I wish I weren’t➤➤➤➤Lindsey @lindseyy377
Felt
➤➤emma’s adventures in NY @emmasadventures
come on first Scott Hunter, then Troy Barrett, and now SHANE HOLLANDER AND ILYA ROZANOV? This is the greed they warned us about in the bible➤➤centaurs ftw @delusionalcens
cens gayest team in the league yktr bbyyy➤➤➤camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole
srsly whats in the ott water bc barrett + rozy and hollander is from ott too➤➤➤➤centaurs ftw @delusionalcens
i just had a vision,,, hollzy signing with his hometown team,,,, hollanov playing togetherrrrr➤➤➤➤➤camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole
girl dont do this to me I cant get my hopes up like that 😭
marina @marinara_555 reposted from @ilyasdefenceattorney “soooo ilya and hollander’s girls have had sex with e/o at least once and we can assume that the boys know if they’re talking abt it… @shanehollandersgf who introduced who to who”
OMG these IDIOTS (affectionate)! Everyone thought there was some weird shenanigans like introducing your ex to your bf’s rival turned friend when it was just two mfs in love trolling the internet under fake fan accounts
➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
and still it makes more sense to me than the rpf girlies being right 🫠➤➤Ilya notice me!! @rozyssidepiece
layla bestie at some point were gonna have to deal with it I fear 🙃➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
i liked jane for ilya, now I just have to accept that i still do even if jane is shane…➤➤➤➤katie rozanova @mrsrozanova81
well i didnt like jane and i like shane even less for my love he deserves better than that ass licker➤➤➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
ok if youre just gonna be a hater just dont interact and also I’m pretty sure ilya likes the ass licking soooo➤➤➤➤➤➤laylaaaaa @ilyaslover
OMG I GOT IT BEFORE HE UNLIKED [screenshot of previous comment liked by @shanehollandersgf] 🚨shane hollander eats ass🚨
William @willplayshockey
Well, I can’t say I was expecting that. They hid really well for however long this has been going on, and it certainly hasn’t impacted their play. The stats don’t lie: on average, over the course of their careers, they racked up 16% more points in games against each other than other games. And it stayed consistent in the last 3-4 years! Really two great players who challenge each other, and who happen to be in love.
➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
louder for the ppl in the back: we dont know when the rivalry stopped but THEY WOULD NEVER THROW GAMES➤➤hollanov’s daughter @puckbunnyy81
I don’t think the rivalry ever ended tho, clearly they both give their 120% to beat the other [liked by @shanehollandersgf and @rozysplainjane1221]➤➤➤Ilya❤️Shane @shilya81
i bet you the ice is not the only place they score when they play 👀😏➤➤➤➤new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
i meannnn have you seen how hard they check each other against the boards? 🥵➤➤➤➤➤Russia’s greatest love machine @ilyasdefenceattorney
oh you know the sex after those games goes hard I want to be a fly on their wall so bad➤➤➤➤➤➤2481 @hollanovsthird
and I want to be crushed between them pls pls pls @shanehollandersgf @rozysplainjane1221 give me one (1) chance➤➤➤➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
no➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
No.➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
@hollanovsthird u good?➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤2481 @hollanovsthird
well at least I tried 💀➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
i love how one guys earnest comment about hollanovs stats has turned into a horny mess and revealed that the boys are VERY monogamous➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Hayden Pike #1 fan @pikerlvr35
or maybe they don’t want a woman to third 🤷 what abt someone non-binary and androgynous who possesses a d*ck? I volunteer➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
no➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Ilya’s Jane @rozysplainjane1221
No.➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Hayden Pike #1 fan @pikerlvr35
welp very monogamous it is ig [liked by @shanehollandersgf and @rozysplainjane1221]
➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤2481 @hollanovsthird
wth you dont even go there???➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤Hayden Pike #1 fan @pikerlvr35
please I love Hayden but I have eyes
hollanov’s daughter @puckbunnyy81 reposted from @ilyarozanov81 “my jane is the most beautiful person on earth you take that back”
Remember this? They’re so in love your honor
➤new #24 ck ad when? @shanesunderwear
and really, who can argue with that? its just TRUE➤➤Holly Hollander @shanesfreckles
objectively the most beautiful person on the planet and i will fight anyone who disagrees➤➤➤lily1410 @shanehollandersgf
i will fight them first
Chapter End Notes
Realistically, this comment section would probably have wayyy more homophobia, but I didn't feel like writing that, so I (mosty) focused on the wholesome characters.
I have a document listing all of the usernames, as well as their writing styles, personnalities et backgrounds; plus a few extras that I didn't end up using (like Rose Landry). I think I fell in love with Holly, hollanov's daughter and marina while writing that.
This fic has taken over my week-end, but all your lovely comments make it so worth it.
Thank you for reading, I hope you all liked it!
Afterword
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